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0 • 0 111[ nI A1N IlEA1/4L MIRIIIAY. AIIGtISr ro, In4^ Following sheep over the edge By PATRICK J. MICN0.ELB The Reulora news agency rrrt•ntiy varnod LM1n slnrms arehelypµ•al nI' nmdern iuurnah.ms Thcros a pregnnnt man in the Philippines, end South Alnurican sheep are gning blLrd ber;iusr ~d t h...... m huh•. Even when I was working on the high sehaol paper- I mmemher snmelhing abnut lhc rrpurter's dul-v lu ask who. what, n•hcro, whon and why -- ax in when did he get pregnant and what happened to the shmp? The sheep stnry is 1his: Every sprinu, +rhrn the Antarctic latcavintrr oznne do pletion brcaks up• chunks nf rzeone-do- plcted st mtospheric ar are whiricd away. w+d n few slnvlve In Ilu• lafitudes uf Punt+s Arenas or the Falkland Islanrls. Thc suddcn burst ol' ultraviulet-61lNBr radiation is strung, and the animak air so stupid that thev don't sheek shade. Im stead, they immediately get catarac•ts and start bumping into buildings and each other. and falling uff clifl's. As a number of scientists hace noted recently, it's easy to go around puking holes in the story about Ihe catastrophic oznnc hole. Forexample,assumc•thatthe I>,ypolhesizeti mechanism reslrmsihle I'or its sudden appearance around 1983 - a peculiar cloud in the Antarctic strato- nphero - is real. The Nalinnal Science Fnlmrlahmis Susan Solumun has slated un several acca.mnx that ozune deple- tions will be atrlerated by big• dusty vulcannrs thal put a Int uf ddurinc, bm- rninc andjunk m the•mlratospbr.•rc. If we comprossd 9cuho4rc limc intu the vpaco nf uhe year. thcse rxplosinns +cnuld umur every fcw mtnules - they'm hardly tlncmnnton. Antl if they are so wunmun. they c•an't be aPOCalqptic onaugh to tlvraten the planet.Othcrwise we wouldn't be here, and life pmlubly nnuldn't havv eenlvtd Imvnnd wnrms nr wha¢•ver clse spends all its time undt•r- praund. Especially touching was the footage of reporters feeling the `baby' in his belly move, which in reality Still, the combination ol'slratospheric were the muscles clnuds and CFCs makes e bclievable, if r nun-apocal,yptic story. wmch should underneath pop s make it unprintable by tnda-v'Sjnurnalis- l.eel•g(lt~ tic standards. Whu. what. where, whei r l/ and why arc a bit fuzzy around the rdgcs. but yort can still get some Inpleal consts- is a ammm~n ailment nf rattle. ICS nlien It•nc•y from lhc byline to the end. caused by yeasts that are killed by UV-B. Nn so for the sheep, After Nnusamk On to the pregnant man: A/'ter Reuters hiton thcslnrvand noonoolselxnlmred plrt it nn the tvrl'c, wilhnul many ques. tn cheok the faetn. FGO-TV in San Fram tlooss samr• Ih:rt seen prelty nbvinus, the ciseodidslnry appeared on virtually every video :n:c ;arlln n: x.urk, Ey ~•r:..ay owcuv.r; Pmagunian sheep are sn liv snuth on was the I'mnage of rrpnrters feelmg the the plmret that lhera• isn't enough 11V-E3 ~•bahy" in hls belly move. which in realily to try their cyeballs. This is the latitudc• wrre tho musulus underneath pup's bc¢•r- and climate equivalent nf Sumden, a land gul. Where was the rush to consult ex- not knnwi+ for Wnned bodies, except in perts in gynecology'. Couldn't snmenne anmmercials for funlas,ybeer, In fucl. if Ry him to Manila for an ultlvsound from Ihis amount of ultraviolet radiation wem a dnctmr nnt chosen by Mr. Plrgnant cuusing cataracts, every Miami native hinwclf After all• lie might have wanted ucer Ihe age af 10 shnuld he walking tuknuwlhveex) mnundwdhawhilecane. Nn.lhemasnniltmrknwmhstul'igure KGO senl its science udunr. Dnun nut that the ahcep had a yeast infectinn flacknty. down to Puntas Arenas. lie and wet•ks in figure out that a man hrrlds a tleprcc in ph-vsics, and lu• pruba- hly was a little skeptical ahout shevp be- inq blinded by sn little radiation, but the station told him to go an,yway. Upun nrriving at the tip nf Snulh America. Hackney 1'nund blind sheep ev- erywhere. Dut hr sent sume eyeballs back In the Vetrrinary St•hunl at the [4u- +rrsuy ul' Czlihrrnia in Davis lirr iusprc- lirm. Nat a singlu cmtaract aas fnund. W t them was an epidemlo of pinkGyc• which wasri t prcgnant bas to dn with what has haplx'nad tn the new.v husiness whon it crnnts lu scientific and tec•hnical issucs. First. liw reporters are trained much im math and se•rence.and they are Ihere- line either irrationally skeptical nr guili- ble aMmt btll.h. Second, news budgets huvr Ixrn ncalyd so fur hack that any ,nnslder,lble crcpense Illke anim; to Nlnlns Arcnas or finding nar Philippine I'nend an ultrasnundl is frowned upnn, ^6cA,tz~ espeeially if it's going to blow the latest spectacular. In fact, stories like these - including immrnent death from the ozone hole or global warrning - are immediately atl- vanced to the 1'ront page as soon as sume- one rents a ronm at the National Press Club and calls every reporter in Washlnqtnn up For doughnuts and bvhnes. No onc has to travel, n's goud cnpy. and Me xrdes, w'hat rcpnl'IUr who avmdcd ualou- lus feels comfnrtable asking a quanntm llvetlucsllnn? This dantt• was first called nn Irrime• linre news in October 1983 when FPA's John Iinffman spoke nf tens nf fuel af sea level rising from global warming be•gin- ning around 1990 Ithat's 2.5 years aKnr. and it continued through NASA'.s Feb. 9• t992,announcementabouttheimmmcnl ozone hnle nver Canada lstretchad tn 6ennebunkpurt by Sen. Alhert V. Gorr• Jr.. D-Tenn,l, so please bring yuur sheep induors. The fact is, there's litllo incenlivo tn scarch for truth on starros hke lhcso. That bvllne, which takes real ropnrtmg tn get. unti aays that the wnrld I>nY o.luma tn an cnd. wlnds up nn the back pages. u' it's ever printed at all. And if you think that scienhxls are gmng to jump up and say. well, macM, my cash cuw fglobal warming, glubal rnnhng. acid rain, the ozone holr. air VnI- lutiom water pollution, AIDS. defnresra. tlon• bwdiversity, populatinn, etc.l Isn't the ond ol'the world alYer all, and pleaso pass the funding somewherc chr• nrjust save il. ynu probably bclit.•vr: that men get pregnant. N Rather, as in most cases whcrc there am large amounts of mnney and powcr tn Q Ibrk around, people behave like blind ~ shcep. A, v Micharls. ns.mciate pmfesrnr of enot- •p ~ mnmentnl sciences at the Unmersity of ViMireia. is tuaaeialed witR the Snvnee Q und EnrironntcrUUl Policu Pmlert. ~ urDton, D.C. ~