Tobacco Documents Online

nisanthropy in the Republic :ndrome. Masquerading as it really driven by the notion .t people strip themselves of udlin sludge. OF I.oVL': HER KIDNEY nsplant, the couple "crept ors, both slightly bent with lung out with thetti, looking :ne videos of them." home, the husband wore a - her heart and all her love. ,ained: "I was so glad. I had we calll liquid gold; I said, ,t the new kidney was work- ~ < 3= t ev WITH CHARI'7"Y TOWARD NONE Schroeder, who evidently culled my name from the MS. sub- scription list. The picture shows the whole family, including the dog, frolicking in the snow. The message reads: "Santa's back! So are Jim, Pat, Scott, Jamie & Wolfie Schroeder! Jamie is a sophomore at Princeton studying Chinese, Scott works at ABC News in D.C, Jim works at paying bills and Pat works at passing them! Wolfic slecps! Best Holiday Wishes for a great 1990. Pat & the gang." The home address is up in the corner, designed to look hastily written by hand instead of photocopied: Schroeder, 1600 Emer- son, Denver CO 80218. And of course, Pat contains a smiley face in the circle of the P. It is not necessary to like people to respect them. The Warncrs and Schroeders among us miss a vital point that we of cooler temperaments instinctively understand and unfailingly honor: Familiarity doesn't breed contempt, it fs contempt. Hatrcd of smokers is the leading form of closet misanthropy in the Republic of Mean. Smokists don't hate the sin, they hate the sinncr . ,j The anti-tobacco campaign never would have succeeded so well if the alleged dangers of smoking had remained a problem for smokers alone. We simply would have beeti allowed to in- voke the Right to Die, always a favorite with democratic lovers of mankind, and that would have been that. To put a real damper on smoking and make it stick, the right of others not to die had to be invoked somehow, so "passive smoking" was in- vented . ~ The name was a stroke of genius. Just about everybody in America is passive. Passive Americans have been taking it on the chin for years, but the concept of passive smoking offered them r. ~ 33 I i t t rtcr: "The Warners are :he s challenges-the glass half 'arner put it. And they are lrncr decided he wanted a imas as his personal dead- s. Warner: "We woke up on can't I give you a kidney?' " wearing a teeshirt inscribed: ,1 my love. Now I gave him : I pour myself a refill, look ~ Congressperson Patricia

'-;UhJVEc_T/B0[dAVEhdTURES a chance to hate in the land of compulsory love, a chance to dish it out for a change with no fear of being called a hlgot. The big, brave Passive Americans responded with a ven- geancc. They began shouting at smokers iil restaurants. They shuddered and grimaced and said "Ugh!" as they waved away tlac impure air. They put up little signs in tlrGir cars and homes. At first they said Thank You. for Not Smoking but now they feature a cigarette in a circle slashed with a red diagonal. They even issue conditional invitations-I got one. The woman said, "I'd love to have you to dinner but I don't allow smoking in my home. Do you think you could refrain for a couple of hours?" I said "Go fuck yourself " and she told everybody I was the rudest person she had ever met. Insisting that there is no difference between tobacco and hard drugs, they equate cigarette smokers with heroin, cocaine, and crack users and call us "addicts." Curiously, however, we are the only ones they are willing to berate publicly. If they really believe all addicts are equal, why don't they wirlk up to crackheads and mainlirters and scream "Ugh! You're disgusting!" Because they are afraid of getting killed. jFR.CIti)1gton Times columnist and smoker Jeremiah O'Leary was the target of two incredibly baleful letters to the editor after he defendcd the }tabit. The first one said, "Smoke yourself to death, but please don't smoke mc to death," but it was only a foretaste of the secon,d; Jeremiah O'Leary's March I column, "Perilous persuaders ... tenacious zealots." is a typical statement of a drug addict trying to defend his vice. To a cigarette smoker, all the world is an ashtray. A person who would never throw a candy wrApper or soda can will drop a lit cigarette without a thought. Mr. about arroga out the if M only th me. It increast The ex anthropy pfthem( myself stf OUS TO F t1rrrcxEV I The ar non-suiuk good use, like a goo ment cou General's break the That, c phrased it The imp. Security does noi beneficia ways of that if pt

An e ) : . ~"Qlffin= I U IE I n ® © 9 I 0 t c } t WITH GHARITY TOWARD NON5 Mr. (7'I-cary is mistaken that non-smokers are concerned about the damage smokers are inflicting on themselves. What arrogtttu:c' Wc care about living in a pleasant environment with- out the stcnch of tobacco smoke or the litter of smoker's trash. If Mr. O'Leary wants to kill himself, that is his choice. I ask only that he do so without imposing his drug or discarded filth on mc. It would be nice if lie would d:e in such a way that would not increase my health insurance rates. [my italicsl The expendability of smokers has also aroused the closet mis- anthropy of the federal government. I was taking my first drag of the mornins when I opened the lVashington Post and found myself staring at this headline; NOT sNtoxnNG CoUt.D BE HAZARD- OUS TO PF=NSION SYSTEM. MEDICARE, SOCIAL SECURITY MAY 13E PINCHED IF ANTI-TOBAC%CO CAMPAIGN SIJCCEEDS, )tEr'ORT SAYS. The article explained that since smokers die younger than non-smokers, the Social Security we don't live to collect is put to good use, because we subsidize the pensions of our fellow citizens like a good American should. Iiowever, this convenient arrange- ment could end, for if too many smokers heed the Surgeon General's warnings and stop smoking, they will live too long and break the budget. That, of course, is not how the government economists phrased it. They said: The implications of our results arc that smokers "save" the Social Security system hundreds of billions of dollars. Certainly this does not mean that c.lGCreased smokin_g would not he stsciellY beneficial. In fact, it is probably one of the most cort-efTective ways of inereasing average longevity. It does indicate, howevcr, that if people alter their behavior in a manner which extends life ~f« r. r w .a 35 n I 't S tce to dish >t. th a ven- nts. They Lved away id homes, now they inal. They tman said, :ing in my hours?" I thc rudest ~ and hard ::aine, and we are the illy believe headsand h O'Leary ditor after iourself to vas only a ders... ict trying ', pcrson tll drop a

UPI~JESTtBOhJA~e~EhdTURES TEL = 1-803-254-b5L5 . .. _ ..:"v1.aidit.A+V:FA~et°F..~Z expectancy, then this must be recognized by our national retire- 2ucnt plugram. At this point the reporter steps in with the soothing reminder that "the war on tobacco is more appropriately cast as a public health crusade than as an attempt to save money." But then we hear from Health Policy Center economist Gio Gori, who said: "Prevention of disease is obviously something we should strive for. But it's not going to be cheap. We will have to pay for those who survive." Something darkling crawls out of that last sentence. The whole article has a die-damn-you undertow that makes an honest mis- anthrope wonder if perhaps a cure for cancer was discovered years ago, but due to cost-effective considerations.... But honest misanthropes are at a premium that no amount of Raleigh coupons can buy. Instead we have tin-pot Torquemadas like Abron Leichtman, president of Citizens Against Tobacco Smoke, who announced after the airline smoking ban: "CATS will next launch its smoke-free airports project, which is the second phase of our smoke-free skies campaign." Rep. Richard J. Durbin promised the next target will be "other forms of public transportation such as Amtrak, the intercity bus system and commuter lines that receive federal funding." His colleague. Sen. Frank Lautenberg, confessed, "We are gloating a little hit," and Fran du Melle of the Coalition on Smoking OR Healtlt, gave an ominous hint of things to come when she her- alded the airline ban as "only one encouraging step on the road to a smoke-free society," These remarks manifest a sly, cowardly form of misanthropy that the Germans call Schadenfreude: pleasure in the unhappi- ness of others. It has always been the chief subconscious motiva- I tion of pu. conscious r Study th pitiless rev service ads. her wet hai smokes afti claimed, "K a California sell phlegm Fear of t insecure An cornmercial: that enviroi showering t "ZESTfully Next com, your hand, r we see an ec: of life and i obediently rf of the Statuc The Statu, aspect of Am second was I soon as the~ wisdom in re little period it ant this way default in thi thcre is no su Smokers at .,~7,~~=. :;,M ~p.~:r'w t. !, ;,' M

0 0 e L V IYrIV C 1'4 I U I'C ® I LL ~ l-~SO,~~15d-~~LS ® tY1 a r ® 1 U ,y'1 a •d by our national retire- ith the soothing reminder 'opria.tely cast as a public ave money." But then we mist Gio Gori, who said: methiniy we should strive will have to pay for those it last sentence. The whole hat makes an honest mis- or cancer was discovered Insiderations.. . . emium that no amount of iavc tin-pot Torquemadas ~:itizens Against Tobacco ine smoking ban: "CATS ~)rts project, which is the campaign." e next target will be "other i A.nitrak, the intercity bus Ive federal funding." His ~nfessed, "We ure gloating Coalition on Smoking OR ags to come when she her- :ouraging step on the road trdly form of misanthropy ': pleasure in the unhappi- chief subconscious nlot.iva- ,t ® ~ 12_Ub WITH CHARITZ' TOWARD NON}r tion oi puritans, but the smokists harbor several other sub- conscious motivations that are even more loathsome, Study their agitprop and you will find the same theme of pitiless revulsion running through nearly all of their public- service ads. One of the earliest showed Brooke Shields toweling tzcr wet hair and saying disgustedly, "3 hate it when somehody smokes aftor I've just washed my hair. Yuk!" Ant)ther pro- claimed, "Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray." The latest, a California radio spot, asks: "Why sell cigarettes? Why not just sell phlegtaz and cut out the middle man?" Fear of being physically disgusting and smelling bad is the insecure American's worst nightmare, which is why bath-soap commercials never include the flow-restricting shower noztles that environmentalists push in thEir public-service ads. The showering American always uses oceans of hot water to get "ZESTfully clean" in a sudsy deluge. Next comes a deodorant commercial. "Raise your hand, raise your hand, raise your hand if you're SURE!" During this jingle we See an ecstatically happy assortment of people from all walks of life and representing every conceivable national origin, all obediently raising their hands, until the ad climaxes with a shot of the Statue of Liberty raising hers. The Statue of Liberty is a symbol of immigration, the first aspect ofArnerican life that the huddled masses experienced. The second was being called a "dirty little" something-or-other as soon as they got off the boat. Deodorant companies see the wisdom in reminding the immigrants' descendants of the dirty- little period in their family histories. You can sell a lot of deodor- ant this way. Ethnics get the point directly; Wasps get it by default in the subliminal reminder that, historically speaking, there is no such thing as a dirty little Wasp. Str,okers xre the new greenhorns in the land of sweetness and 37 ; !K"vr, ~~~, Ak q,_Y,1t+,r.;, . o:Krtsus;• ,,•r~~ : No c. Et 1,i U ,:~ _ Y ~ 0 k Li ® 0 ® ® 5 e ;'fa

`-I_IP1VEST/E(]NHVEh1TUP.ES TEL = 1-803-?54-6525 © © 0 ~ ~ ; 0 ® fiLOR1=NC.E KINCr Ma r 1 0,92 2ub health, scapegoats for a guintessentially Auterican need, rooted in our fabled Great Diversity, to identify and punish the undesir- ables arnong us. Ethnic tobacco haters can get even for past slurs I; on their fastidiousness by refusing to inhale around dirty little ; smokers, and Wasp tobacco haters can savor once again the joy ; of being "real" Americans by hurling with impunity the same dirty little insults that their ancestors hurled with impunity. The tobacco pogrom serves additionally as the basis for a class i war in a nation afraid to mention the word class a[oud. Hating smokers is an excellent way to hate the white workingclass with- out going on record as hating the white workingclass. The anti-smoking campaign has enjoyed thumping success among the "data-receptive," a lovely euphemism describing the privilege of spending four years taking notes on the jawboning of asses. The ubiquitous statistic that college graduates are two- and-a-half times as likely to be non-smokers as those who never went beyond high school is balm to the data-receptive, many of whom are only a generation or two removed from the lunch- bucket that smokers represent. Haunted by a fear of falling back down the ladder, and half-believing that they deserve to, they soothe their anxiety by kicking a smoker as th(; provrrbial hen- pecked husband soothed his by kicking the dog. The earnest shock that greeted the RJR Reynolds "Uptown" marketing scheme aimed at blacks cramped the vituperative style of the data-receptive. Looking down on blacks as smokers might be interpreted as looking down on blacks as blacks, so they settlcd for aping the compassionate concern they picked up from the media. They got their misanthropy-receptive bona fides back when the same company announced plans to target "Dakota" ci,ga- t•ettes at a fearsome group called "virile females." When I first saw the headline I thought surely they meant me: 38 ® 0 ~ Il1L: -ht.)11l)lall{tLIL r. f,^ A. . .1,tyf T"~ ~ ~ r. +~ hk ; ~,"'t~! fd o . UU5 I~ . U:.~ 0 what other womai con with the war your Baltimore 0 "Caucasian fema school and et)try- Gomnientators tractor pulls, 1110 Gomprise the Icist: flowed copiouslyn tian to understat ginia Ernster of t: "It's pathetic thc these women wh George Will, wtn use sophisticatec on the most vuln a mile to see VirF motorcycle.) Smoking is the Red men started racist. Meanwhi are subject to dc Here lie 1 Pass b3, a And stay Carving "Go a misanthrope f was a citizen of Plutarch's Live: }S ~ eX ;.

=,UI~IVE~Ttbpl~lFt~1ENTURES TEL : 1-8U 6=254-b5i~ 0 asentially American need, rooted o identify and punish the undesir- ) haters can get even for past slurs sing to inhale aiound dirty little ters can savor once again the joy hurling with impunity the sante :estors hurled with impunity, jdttionally as the basis for a class -)n the word class aloud. Hating ate the white workingclass vsrith- he white workingclass, has enjoyed thumping success ?vely euphernisrn describing the aking notes on the jawboning of "at college graduates are twb- ?n-smokers as those who never to the data-receptive, many of two removed from the lunch- -unted by a fear of falling hack ng that they deserve to. they ~rnoker as the proverhial hen- cking the dog. he RJR Reynolds "Uptown" •rrrmped the vituperative style n on blacks as smokers might ~n blacks as blacks, so they concern they picked up from ctive bona fides back when 1N to target "Dakota" ciga. irile females," ,ught surely they meant me: U ; di 11 ~.iP ,ir'~.'-'"• rs' , .`f4a''X 'J iF_r•r. Mar lu ~ 32 12•Un Nu © © U uUI--r- U~j I WITH CHARITY TC)VC%AR0 NONE w,hat other woman writer is sent off to a book-and-author lunch- CQt, with the warning, "Watch your language and don't wear your Baltimore Orioles warm-up jacket"? But no. Virilettes are "Caucasian females, 18-24, with no Gducation beyond high school and entry~level service or factory jobs." Comment.ators could barely hidc their smirks as they listed the tractor pulls, motorcycle races, and macho-rnan contests that comprise the leisure activities of the target group. Crocodile tears flowed copiously. "It's blue-collar people without enough educa- tion to understand what is happening to them," mourned Vir- ginia Ernster of the University of California School of Medicine, "It's pathetic that these companies would work so hard to get thcse women who may not feel much control over their lives," George Will, winner of the metaphor-man contest, wrote: "They use sophisticated marketing like a sniper's rifle, drawing beads on the most vulnerable, manipulable Americans." (I would walk a mile to see Virginia Ernster riding on the back of Cieorgc Will's motorcycle.) Smoking is the only evil that cannot be blamed on white males. Red men started it, but nobody will sav so because that would be racist. Meanwhile, smokers are the only people in America who are subject to de jure segregation• Here lie I, Timon, who alive all living men did hale: Pass by and curse t{7y fill, but pass, And stay not here thy gait. Carving "Go Away" on his tombstonc is guaranteed to make a misanthrope feel better about himself- One who actually did it was a citizen of ancient Athens who makes a brief appearance in Plutarch's Lives, the source for Shakespeare's Trniotr uJ'.9thens, 39 0 M I I 0 0.~} f S4 •t J ^'t ~•~tra f~lGa+'fi't~r~4~?~.'`.iz'•!. +F' . tr4%K t~,rt't.~ r Ott ,r~pN~:.saq.rt4, r • ® © I I 0