Tobacco Documents Online

' Bob Newhert Show, The VBC-TV Network, A-pril 18, 1962. HOW DID SIR WALTER RALEIGH SELL HIS TOBACCO? NEWHART r r'Tonight we "re going to take a look at the possible origin of he cigarette industry." NEWHART: "I think that most of us are inclined to take things for grant- Company to do it, and I think it must have sotianded' somethirig like th2s..." dollar business had very huarb.le origins. It was brought to the attent +mof the civilized world by Sir Walter Raleigh vtien he brought the first boload from North America to Eagland. Now, since the uses of tobacco may not be ob- vious right off'the bat, I'kept imagining Sir Walter having a little trouble trying to talk the sea'captain into putting it on the ship, and then I imr agined Walt trying to get permission from the home office of the West Indies ®dl. For example, cigarettes and the great tobacco indbstry. This nnaltimillion. (MUSICAL INTRpDUCTION)) calling? Sir, Sir Walter Raleighifrom the Colony. Yeah, put him on, will you? Ah, I$arry, pick up your extension,, xill you? It's nutty Walt again. (LAUGHTER) "Hi, Walt baby'' Goodiheari;ng, your voice. Things are fine here, Walt. The boatload of turkeys you sent us over here last November? They're still here, Walt. Yeah, they're walkin'' all over Loaadbn. ('LAUGHTER) You see, "that isn't a holiday over here, Walt, just in America. (IAU(HTER) NEWHART (As an official of the West Indies Ccmpany) : "He11o, who, who's ` 80 tons of leaves, Walt? Ha, hay oh you're beautiful, Walt. (LAU(~dTER), Look, Wait, I don't know if you noticed last time, we have plenty of leaves over here in F3agland. (LAUCHTRR) You see, come fall, we're up to... It's a special kind'of leav? Some kind of food, is it,, Walt? Not exactly. What do you do with the leaves, Walt?' Lsts of'd3fferent things. Ha. r'Youlgot another winner for us, Sir Walt, have ya?' To-bacco. What's tobacco, Walt? A leaf. Youl've got 80 tons of it. (LAUGHTER) Youlbought °Arelyou saying 'snuff;' Walt? (LAUGHTER) And what's snuff?' You take a pinch of tobacco, and you stick it up your nose. (IuAUC,H!I'ER) And it makes you sneeze. (LAUGHTER) Ha, ha, ha, I imagine it would, Walt, yeah. Goes over very big there, does it? Yeah, goldenrod seems to do it over here, Walt. (LAUC:HTER)i - more -

"Tbbacco has other uses. You can chew it? Or stuff it in a pipe? Or you can shred the leaves, put it in a little piece of paper, roll it upi, You don't have to~tell me, Walt, you stick it in your ear, right? (LAUGHTER ,Between your lips? Okay, Walt, and then what do you do~with it? Ha, ha, ha, :' ha. (NEWHA'HT SLAPPM DESK. ) You set fire to it, Walt d ('LAUGHTER) Hiey, "_.:Harry, you want to get onthe innercom? I' don't want the boys to miss this. (LAUCHTER) Walt, you're puttin" me on, aren't you. You set fire to it, and. then what happens, Walt?' You breathe in the smoke. (IAUCHTER) Well, it seems to me you could standiia front of a fireplace and get.the same thing goin" for you. I don't think we''ll be able to move that, Walt. "You know, Walt, we'nve been a little worried about youlsince you pnt your cape dotim over all that mud. ('LAUGiTEFt You''re all right though, .Walt, huh? You see, xhat bugs me, Walt, is whols going to want to pat-bpraing, leaves in his mouth? (IAUGH'TER) You don't call ''em burning leaves. You call them a cigarette. Walt, I've got to level with you. I'don't care what you call 'em, they're still burning leaves and I don't think people are going to buy ' em. "You have some sales gimmicks?' I'd love to hear scme of those, Walt. You're going to add aimint flavor. (LAUGHTER) How much mint? Just a hint. (LAUGHTER) That's not too bad, Walt. Huh? And you're going to make some cigarettes longer than others. Why is that, Walt? It tr.avels the smoke further. (LAUGHTER) That make it better, Walt? You don't know but it's a catchy slogan. (LAUGHTER) "Walt, Walt, can you speak up?' I can hardly hear you. What's that noise? You've got the Indian marching band, amd, they stomp all through thistobaccofield?~ (LAUGHTER) That's the way they get~ their kicks, Walt,, you, know: 'TWhat''s the matter, Walt?' You spilled your coffee. What's coffee, Walt?' (IAUGHITER) Ha, ha, it's a, drink you make out of beans. You roast them, and then you pour them inialcup. (hAUGHTER) You drink it in the morning xh i'e you smoke your cogarette! (LAUGHTER) I'm stilill here, Walt, I''m still here. Look, Walt, I tell you what you do. Put acme of those on the boat. If'you can hook 'emiwith the burning,leaves, I'm sure they'll go for the bean. (LAUCHTER) I I'm with you, Walt. Do me one favor, Walt. Don't call me anymore!" (APPiAUSE)'