Tobacco Documents Online

CONFIDENTIAL: MINNESOTA TOBACCO LITIGATION MELANIE MERKLE d~O~/C~ Issue Analyst .~ TH~ ~o ~N~ _ ~ ~I~ 2~457-93~ 8~/424~876 Acey ~ ~ ~ A~ached ~s ~he ~atest C7/18) of Helping Youth Say No. ~I gave it to David Remes for his co~ents.~ 1875 I Street, N.W. Washington, D.C. 20006 TIMN 0039430

DR~FT/To]~a¢¢o: Helping Youth Say No v/~/90 ' ~ CONFIDENTIAL: ~'STRODUCTIOS MINNESOTA TOBACCO LITIGATION Raising a family is one of life's greatest challenges -- and one of its greatest rewards. Today, it may be more difficult than ever. Family structures are different. There's been a dramatic increase in single-parent families "blended" families and families with both parents working. Many parents have less time to spend with their children. AS a result, young people are on their own more often than in the past. So establishing open lines of communication early is critical. If your child can talk to you, no matte~ how personal the subject, then you can help guide them in making good decisions. Among other factors influencing the decision-making p~ocess is the presence of peer pressure at a far earlier age. Peer pressure can affect anyone, no matter what the age. But it is an especially powerful influence on children who do not have the maturity or experience to make responsible decisions, including those decisions that may be criticized by their friends. Building strong family relationships will help your children handle peer pressure, and make responsible decisions. TIMN 0039431

-2- CONFIDENTIAL: MINNESOTA TOBACCO LITIGATION Smoking is one such decision. In the following pages, you .~ will find some suggestions for talking with your children to ~ discourage tobacco use specifically, one of many activities~ ~ ~ your child should not be involved with. ~ ~ ~ "Tobacco: Helping Youth Say No" is the third in a serxes o~ booklets designed to expand communication between pa=ents ~ ~ S .. and children and to raise levels of mutual respect and ~ ~ ~ ~ trust. Part I of this booklet discusses the role of peer~ ~ make responsible decisions. Pa~t II is aimed at helping ~.~_ parents prepare for a discussion on one tough decision-making challenge your child may face: saying no to ~ ~ tobacco. Part III offers practical exercises that will help ~ open the lines of communication between you and your children. TIMN 0039432

~'~ .,~ ",,x~ -3- CONFIDENTIAL. • -~ c'O~4~..~-~" MINNESOTA TOBACCO LITIGATION ~ ~%~ Whenever we struggle through a particularly rough period in our adult lives, it's rather tempting to wonder, "Wouldn't it be nice to be 16 again, or even 127" And why not? Adolescents seem to have it fairly easy -- school, friends, parties, sports, pinball, movies -- despite some homework, chores, and maybe a part-time job or "unwelcome" music lessons after school. But growing up is not always easy. Teenagers, especially, may have a rough time as they struggle to ease into adulthood. The pressure upon children to fit in, to succeed academically, socially or in sports, is enormous. Something as simple as wearing "the wrong clothes" can be a traumatic experience. Growing up today is also different than it was just i0 or 20 years ago because society is different. Children are engaging in adult activities at a far earlier age than ever before. Many pre-teens experiment with cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. Many teenagers drive recklessly. Sexual activity and pregnancy rates among teens and pre-teens have escalated. TIMN 0039433

-4- CONFIDENTIAL: MINNESOTA TOBACCO LITIGATION The Role of Peer Pressure Is peer pressure the reason children are experimenting with ~ adult activities? Sometimes. Everyone, but especially ~ ~.~ children, wants to belong to a group, to be accepted by ~ ~ - those around them. Some peer pressure can be good: the ~ competition to achieve good grades or to make the football ~ ~ team or get a part in the school play. ~ ~ ~ As parents, you do your best to teach your children the ~ ~ ~ difference between right and wrong. Yet despite your best • efforts, peer pressure has an enormous influence over your ~ children. They may know their actions are wrong, but the ~ ~ temptation to experiment and the motivation to be one of the group becomes too strong to resist. It's when peer pressure becomes destructive that parents should become concerned. Pre-teens frequently want to emulate their teenage brothers, sisters or other teenagers. We've all heard, "If Bobby's doing it, why can't I?" Children like to act older than they are. Society also plays a role, sometimes forcing young people to grow up before they should. In single-parent families, which are increasing dramatically, the oldest child may feel forced to take on the role of parent. As a result, this child may feel that he or she has also "earned" the right to take part in adult activities. TIMN 0039434

-5- CONFIDENTIAL: MINNESOTA TOBACCO LITIGATION Younger children usually accept their parents' beliefs. But as they grow older, they often find themselves questioning "~ those same beliefs. In their quest for independence, they ~ try to balance their parents' teachings with their friends' ~ ~ ~ opinions and their own beliefs. They are searching for ~ their own identity as well as their independence. That's ~--~ fine, you want them to become self-reliant. But they need ~ guidance, patience and understanding. ~ ~ ~ Although adolescent rebellion is common, it is also true _~ ~ I that, as parents, you have more influence on your children's~~ behavior than you may think. The extent of that influence ~ ~ ~ can be enhanced by the trust, support and rapport that ~ ~ exists within the family. By communicating and being ~ involved and interested in your youngsters' activities, you help to build their self-confidence -- the strongest antidote for peer pressure. Strong Parents = Strong Children Communication between parents and children is vital to creating a loving and trusting relationship. Parents need to listen, empathize and be involved. As your child grows, so do outside influences. But parental guidance will remain the most important influence of all. TIMN 0039435

- 6- CONFIDENTIAL: MINNESOTA TOBACCO LITIGATION Parents are responsible for helping their children become self-sufficient and responsible decision-makers. Showing an interest in your children's activities and helping them set realistic goals are part of the process of preparing them for adulthood. When your child announces an intention to try out for the track team, you can help by discussing the time and dedication needed for training and competition. If your child wins a spot on the team, show your support by attending the track meets whenever possible. Regardless of~ ~ how well your child does, your love and encouragement will help him or her stick_wit~ t~ ~cis~on and, .~.n ~urn, will boost your child's self-confidence. A loving relationship can be threatened if a parent is too critical. Attack the problem at hand rather than your child. For example, if you shudder at the heavy makeup on your teenage daughter's face, don't criticize her for not knowing how to apply it properly. Instead, offer to teach her how to use it. Periodically, set aside an hour or so one day for just the two of you. Use this opportunity to listen and talk with your child about anything she wants to talk about. When the lesson's over, praise her for her efforts. This helps to build self-esteem, a necessary step toward good decision-making. TIMN 0039436

-7- CONFIDENTIAL: MINNESOTA TOBACCO LITIGATION Another way to raise strong and independent children is to encourage responsibility and problem-solving at an early age. Even five and six year-olds can learn to pick up their toys, especially if they realize what the consequences are -- no television or story hour -- if they don't. The more practice children have making decisions during the early years the greater their decision-making skills will be later in life. steps to a Responsible Decision Making good decisions isn't easy. Since you can't be with your children at all times, nor do they always want you around, you must lay the groundwork on which they can build their own values and make their own judgments. They need your guidance in learning the decision-making process. One of the best things you can do to help your children learn good decision-making skills is to let them express their own ideas and feelings at a very young age. There are some steps you can follow when your children are faced with a tough decision. They include: i. Discuss the problem. What is it you need to do or decide? What do you know about this issue? T[MN 0039437

-a- CONFIDENTIAL: MINNESOTA TOBACCO LITIGATION 2. Gather more information. What do you know from other experiences that would help? What do you need to know ~ . more about before making the decision? O7 3. List the alternatives. What are all the possible ~ choices? Are there others you've forgotten? ~ ~ ~ 4. Examine the consequences. What will be the results, ~ ~ ~ ~ good and bad, of each alternative? What are the ~ ~ consequences, in the short and long run, of each? How~,~ ~ ~ ~ do you feel about each choice today? How do you think~ "~.~ ~a you will feel next week? Next year? ~ 5. Consider feelings and values. How do you feel about ~ each alternative? Each consequence? How does each fit ~ with your values, your family's values, and community expectations? 6. Choose the best possible course of action. Try going through the steps together. Your children need to know that what they have to say is important to you. Encourage them to ask questions. TEVIN 0039438

-9- CONFIDENTIAL: MINNESOTA TOBACCO LITIGATION Of course, the ability to make sound decisions does not happen overnight. We all have difficulty making the right choice, at times. But helping your children consider the consequences of each alternative may reduce some of the confusion. This will enable them to see each situation clearly enough to make the best decision possible. PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL Produced as required by the Court's March 7,1998 Order in State oi Minnesota, et al. v. Philip Morris, et ak ~ Cour~ File No.: C1-94-85~ ~ TIMN 0039439