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Television Continuity, Pall Mall, Make Room for Daddy, Mar. - Apr., 1955

Date: Mar 1955
Length: 387 pages
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J: THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW DT #Z3A (53) "MA~ RO0~ FOR DADDY" Working Title: "Terry,s Teen Age Birthday" ~ ~ \ C Written by ROBERT 0 ' BR~EN and IRVINO EL~NSON ATe01 00PP642
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OAD_~T DANNY ~, o,,,, o ~,, *,. ~i. o oDANNY THOMA ~ MARGARETo, .. o, ° o ~ .... °..°/SAN HAGEN TERRy,~ o j ~ .. ° o o, o o ~ ~** o o °SHERRY JACKSON RUSTYo o~, ~ ° ° o ° o. o..o, o o ° *DUSTY HA)~R EDDIE CHAMBERS°° °~ 6 ~.~° ° CHEOD GIRL°oo°o oo~ .... °o° MALT SHOP pROPRIETOR°, ° ° o SETS INT. LIVING ROOM IET. CHILDBERt8 ROOM INT, NIGHT CLUB (DANHYIS DREAM) INT, A~ASSAOOH CLUB INT. MALT SHOP ATX01 00776~3
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fj T}rE AMERICAN TOBACCO CO. PALL MALL FAMOUS CTGARETTES STOCK SHOT OF MARLIN~ BATTLING LINE FAST D~SS TO 9~u-LL SHOT OF MAN ON PIER FISN GIRL WITH CAMERA. START DSLLY DOLLY IN CLOSER TO ~N AND FISH~ AS NAN LIGHTS PALL MALL HE SMOKES NITH PLEASURE DIGB TO ANIMATND CIGARETTE SMO~ ARROWS PASSING THRU, NAME '|PALL MALL" ABOVE AND SUPER "FINE TOBACCO YS ~S 0%~ BEST FILT~" BENEATH FADE OUT SUPER IN SCENE ~ AND SUPER "THE FINEST @UALITY MONEY CAN BOY" FADE CUT SUPER IN SCEh~E 6~ AND FADE IN SHORT CYGA~ETTE BENEATH PALL MALL BOTH CIGARETTES SNE%~U~ IN SIZEI BUT PALL MALL R~AI~S LONGER EXTEND PALl. M~IJ, & S~TORT CIGAR- ETTE TO ORIGINAL LENGTHS AND HIGHLIGHT PALL M~LL. SUPER "MOST SUCCESSF[~," EXTEND SHORT CIOARETTE TO £ONG~ CONTINUE HIGHLIGHTING PALI~ MALL. SUPER "MOST INITATED" ° DIGS TO CU OF pHOTOGPJ~pH ALBUM IN MANIS ~L~ND SHO~'tiNG CU OF PHOTO T~%EEN ~ SCENE 2. HIS HAND HOLDS SMOKING CTGARETTE. PULL BACK AND TAN AROUND TO TWO SHOT OF MAN & WIFE BOTH SMOKING AND LOOKING AT ALBUM DIES TO ECU OF PACK !ND SUPER: "0UTHTANDIEG - AND THEY ARE ~.~" TV CO~CL~L @97 ONE MINUTE (SOUND OF WATER AS MARLIN TH~'~ AT.~ND OF LINE) ANNCR~ When the blg fish is booked. °, • ° .and you flnally lan~ him - the L.0=e Smoke ~er and __ ~. and LiUg~ BELL PELL MELL is longer~ yes - b~t greaZer length is only half the , story.. Fine tobacco is its own best filter and PELL MELL tobaccos - - ~re the finest quality money can buy. And look how PELL M~L~S gPeateP length travels the smoke f~ther - - filters the smoke naturally~ and makes it mild, In faet~ youm appreciation of PELL MELL~uallty - - has made it f~erg.ca's mos~ S~cessflLI - - most imitated cigarette• It's your clgarette...fin~'tobaceo blended to a flavor peak°°. dlstinctively pELLMELL. So reward yourself - with a smooth- ness~ mildness and satlsfaotlo~ no other clga~ette can offer you. BDy pELLMELL Famous Cigarettes... Outstandin~ - and they a~e m~l~! RYe01 00776~4
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C INTERIOR WILLIAMSV LIVING ROOM TERRY IS ON THE pHONEs W~EYED WITH EX~T~. TERRY Oh Eddlea how wo~dQP~ul[ ~e8~ I'll be readyo And It!s the best surprise I'vo ever had. SHE HANGS UP AND CALI~ ~01TEDLY: TERror Mother I Motherl MARGARET (E~tERING FROM KITCHEN) What is it, Terry? Guess who Just called me| ATe01 0077645
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. .. MARGAI~T Rus~y, I thouEht you were ~elev~n~ L ~JSTY TelephoDes are /11oi"~ fUNo MAROA~T Never mind, TERRY YIT ~IO I 00??64.6
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MARGARET The Ambassador Club? (THEN DC~I~ FULLY-- Ho~ey, IIm eure Eddlels intentions are sinaere enough but the Am~assBdor°°, its8 a most exclusive club and.., whet I mean is, V don't think they cater to Ohildren. TERRY (ANNOYED) Childrenl MARGARET (QUICKLY) Oh~ I realize you're thirteen now. But honeya the Ambassador is a little too exclusive for the yo~Eer set. Yo~tve got to be l~ IIWhO!e Who" to get in. Ohs we can get in all risht° Eddlets father ha8 i~luence. MARQARET ~al~? RUSTY ~ets a cook* TERRY Herb a ohef'l 3o RTH01 00??64?
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ATH01 00P?548
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23A (53) - ~r~o 1 00??64-9
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-- II MAROAP~T Why dldnlt you get some sleep and take a late plane tonl~t? Well, 3[ wanted to be home. A~ter all, it;s Ter~s bl~thda¥. MAR~URET (pLEASED) you z~mem~ered~ DANNY (A LITTLE A~O'II~) ~' couree z remembered. Why are you always su~rlsed when I remember sQme- thlng like thls? X a~mlt I,m thoushtless sometimes, and busy. But Itm still a father and I don!t larger ~ kids! btrthdaysl MARGARET DA~ By the way, how old is she? (THEN A~ MARGARET RFAOTS) Well, I c~n~t remember everything. ~A~3ARE~ Not even the &ge in ~o~r own family? DA~ k~a¢ are you bee~i~ about? EverM time I ~emember ~o~ age, ~ou get sore. 6e A1-~01 0077650A
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7,, MARGARET daughter is thirteen ~oda¥. DANNY ~T~teen~ huh? Won!t ~e long till she!t1 star~ Set~i~ sore° (THZN T~ A SMALL CASE O~T C~ ~S pOCKET A~ SNAP- PI~ ~T OPt) Look what Z go~ h~r~ Y~RGAP~ET A wrlstwatahl DANNY It!t1 make her £eel g~ow~ up. ~RGA~T fill say ~ wi11° Espeo~ally w1~h what I go~ he~. SHE PICKS UP T~ ~O~N° DAS~ I~KS AT ~T CRIT~CAILY° ~T!S ~ POR HIM ~ CONCEIVE ~S L~TTLE TER~ BEING ~S ~L~/REo DAN~Y ~a~Is ~he idea of ~hSa? ~h6 MARGARET No, I~n~y° 7t~s heP ~I~$~ ~oPmal° DAN~Y You mean ou~ llt~l~ Te~? ~e!s RT~01 0077651
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o DAN~Y All rl~t, so it took me e while to get started. AT THIS MOMENT TERRY ENTERS IN HER RC~E, STILL WEAR- ING HER HIOH REELS, ~ REACTS ENTHUSED AT THE SIGHT OP DA~ DANNY (PRESENTING THE WRIStWATCh) Hello, sweetheart.., happy blrtbday. TERRY Oh, It~s beautifkll and in suoh good taste. DANNY Thank you. Gosh~ Ter~, I!ve only been gone a week and it 8eels llke youmv~ ~OWD SO, KE LOOKS HER UP AND DOWN AND FOR T}~ FIRST TIME NOTICES HER HEELS. DANNY Hey M~gsret, even her fe~t got bigger. You~ shoes fit he~ ~OW° TERRY They!~e my shoesl DAHE~ wharf ATH01 00??653
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@ DAN~Y I don!t care what the occasion.., no dauEhte~ of mlne is Eoing to walk arot~d with her faoe smeared wlth llpstlek, TERRY Daddy, it doesnVt smear. Itts kleB-pro~. DANNY (MORTIFIED) K1ssproofl And how do you plan to flnd outs TERRY (ROMA~I~CALLY) Oh Daddy, a glrl cen!t plan a thing llke that.6.. , it Just happens. DA~/ HoW old did you say she was? MARGARET ~iptee~. DANNY ~Tz~vteen golng on twenty. What happens to childhood these days? One day Four daughter Is a llttle girl wlth a doll I~ her arms... the next thing you knowj she,s the doll some guyls got In his arm8 ° RTX01 13.. 1 " 'll I 00??655
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AS DANNY MARGAF~T ~1"~0~ 0022656
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13. L OKILDREN!S ROOM TERRY Gee, Mother, I!m BOrPy Daddy feels llke %biB. MARQARET Well, fathers dent% like ~o see tbei~ little ~i~is Erow up. TERRY He seemed Be upset I was afrald to tell hlm abou% golng %o the AmbaBmado~ Olub. MAROARET well, I~ll handle %ha%. A~d when ye~1~e dreBsedj I!ll 8how yo~ how to put on your llp~t~ok° You ~uBt wan% a little for eolo~ TOO muoh would ~ vulgar. 8TM01 00??65?
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L ~ i~¸ 14. And will you help me put on my false eyelsshe8? MARGARET you~ what ? TERRY FISHES IN ~ RGSE AND ~INOS Oh'? A CARD WITH EYELAS~SI TERE~ I Eot these ~ the d~ugstore too. MA~ARET NOW ~rPy~ thetld look ~IdioUlOUS, TERRY But Mothert Ava Gardner has such bea~ti~l IO~E lashes. MARGARET I kmow~ Terr~, but you,re Just too young, Not only would It look very tmbeocmtinE but everyone would k~ow they wePe false. AT THIS MOMENT DANNY EN~Y~RSf ~UST IN ~E TO HEAR ONLY MARGARETt S LINE, DA~ False! MARGARET Terry had some false eyelashes but we~ve already deelde~ aEalnst them. DA~ Oh. Well, at last w@IPe ~k1~g a llttl~ sense around hel, e. F~T~01 007265~ '
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DI!~•~ "i i.
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@ 3.6. THE COINCIDEN~ OF DAh~Y HITTINO ~HE NAIL ON THE ~kD CAUSES NmmA~aT AND TERRY TO EXO~NGE A LOOK OF AMA~Z- ~NT, DANNY XN TURN 78 AMA2Y.D AT ~IEIR ~o DANNY Wells whstrs going on? TERRY How do you know 8bout the Amb&s sador Club? DANNY Lookb maybe the Way I!ve been aot~ng you thlnk I~m old- faohloned,,° a square. BUt oven I know about the Ambassador Club, I~ faot ¥o~!d be surpvlsod the people I know who 80 to the AmbaosadoP Club. MARGARET YouU__..__~d bo s~1~orlsedo DANNY Huh? MARGARET (GLARIFI'ING) ~e~ry ha8 a date tonlF~ht an~ the boy!s taking her to the Ambassador. A bo~ is taking Terry to a nlEht olub,,, th~ Ambassador? what kind of a boy.,, a playboy? MARGARET He!s a very nlce boy. ATH01 007?660
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D ~7e TERRY (OHIMZNO IN, EXHIBITS pHOTOORAPH FROM ~ TABLE) ISn't he oute? DANNY (LOOKING AT PHOTGGRAPH) Cute, huh? Wella he~s not getting oute wlth my da~'~hter. TerN, Mou oan Just forEet about this nisht cl~hblnE Romeo. T~/TfIS FACE FAILS, MARGARET (REASSURINGLY) Honey, you'd better start hathi~, you,ll be late. DANNY Late for what? MABQARET Late for 8 dinne~ date with a very nice boy on her birthday. DANNY (STt~ORNLY) All right, take you~ bsth hut youlre J~st ~e~tlng clean for nothlng. TERRY (CUEING HZM TO LEAVE) Daddy, will you excuse me. I want to E:et undressed. DA~ REAGT8 TO HIS DAU~HTERIS Si~DDEN D~SPLAY O~ MODESTY. RTH01 0077661
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,Z. 9 9--' Z O0 L O~.LI9 .8-c I;nO ~qUH ~r I[ II IU
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• THE AMERICAN TOB%CC0 CO, PALL MALL FAMOUS CIG.IRETTES OpEN ON MEDYUM 8ROT OF CHApPELL STANDING BEFORE FIREPLACE IN CLUB LIBRARY. HE ADDRESS AUDYENCE DIRECTLY. DOLLY IN SLTGHTLY AS }~ TAKES ' PACK OF PALL MAL~ FRr~ TABLE AND MOLDS THEM TOWARDS CAMERA. • DOLLY IN FURTHER AS HE TAKES • SINGLE CIGAR~TE FROM PACK & HOLDS IT TOWARDS CAMERA DIES TO ANIMATED CIGARETTE SMOKE ARR0~ PASSING THEU~ NAME '|PAI~ MALL" ABOVE AND SUPER "FINE TOBACCO I8 ITS OWN BEST FrLTER" BENF2~T~. FADE OUT SUPER IN SCENE ~ AND SUPER "THE FINEST ~ALITY MONEY CAN BUY". FADE OUT SUPER YN SCENE 5 & FADE IN SHORT CIGARETTE BENF~%TH PALL MALL. BOTH CTGARRTTES START BURNING. BOTH CIGARETTES SMC~(E Dn~,rN IN SIZE BUT PALL MALL R~?~AINS LONGER EXTE~ PALL .%%LL & SHEET CIGAR- ETTE TO ORIGINAL LENGTHS & HIGH- LIGHT PALL MALL. SUPER "MOST SUCCESS~TL't EXTEND SHORT CIG&RETTE TO LONG q CONTINUE HIGHLIGHTING PALL MAL~. SUPER "MOST IMITATED". QUI~K DIES TO MEDIUM SHOT OF CBAPPELL AS BE MOVES TOWARDS CIGARETTE COLU~TER~ CAME~ PAN- EING WITH HIM AS CHAFPELL COMES UP TO CIGARETTE STAHEI NEAT LOnMING ATTENDANT TAKES CARTON OF P~LL MALLS FROM UNDER COUNTER AND HOLDS T~EM OUT • Tn CLUB ~14BER BACK TO TIGHT SHOT OF CHAPPELL. HE HOLDS UP SMOKING CIGARETTE AND PACK TV CO~ERCL~X #98 ONE MINUTE For thosQ pleasKn~mom~nts of the day - when it's tlme'.to r~lax - take it easy - reward yourselfl Reward ~oursolf with the pleasure of smo-o-~h smoking. Smoke longer and finer and m~ider FELL MELL, Fine tobacco is its own best filter and PELL MELL tobaccos - - are the f~nest quality money can ~v. And look how FELL MELLIE greater length travels the smoke further ° - Tilters the smoke naturall7~ and makes it mild. In fact~ your appre- ciation of PELL MELL q~ality - . has made it America's most suoeess~ll . - most imitated cigsrette. It'syD~ cigarette...flne tobacco blende-~o a flavor peak,,.distinc- tively PELL HELL. So reward yourself - with a smooth- ness~ ~ildness and satisfaction no other cigarette can offer Fou. Choose well - smok~ FELL ME~L|
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PALL MALL CO~@~. #98 DODLY IN TO TIGHT SHOT OF DIS- PLAY PIECE O~ STAND COME IN TO ECU OF BOTTOM OF DISPLAY ?IECE~ FEATURING WORDSI "OUTSTA~ING,.,A~ THEY ARE MILD|" -2- ~y PELL MELL Famous CiEarettes - Outstanding . and the~ ape mildl @ __J RT~01 00??664
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~9. ZE~OR L~NG ROOM DANNY (A~OYED) What kind of a routine i~ that°°. "will you exouse ~a I wan% to ge% ~tndressed?" MARGARE~ Wells 8hels a young lady now. DAN~Y But l'm her father. MARGARET ~% you!rs a mall, DANNY How else oould X be her father? Margareta how o~ ~ouj a8 a mothe~ approve o~ ~rry gong to ~he Ambassador Club? X demand an e~plana~oD, ATe01 0077665
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DISSOLVE Toz ~T~01 00??666
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21. INTERIOR NIGHTOLUB ~ /)AE~YiS DREAM THE DREAM MUSIC NOW SEG~ INTO "PRANKIE A~D J~" AID FEATURES TERRY AS DANNY'S IMAGINATION PICTt~S HER IN ~ DREAM, ~ IS A OOMPO3ITE OF DIAMOND I~L, TONDELAYO, AND SADIE THOMPSON. HER CHII~-LIKE FACE I8 NOW A MASK OF ROUGE EYESHADC~, AND MASCARA. SHE SPORTS A %qTLGAR DISPIA~ OF JEWEI~a CARRIES A L~ CIQARETTE HOLDERa A~ HER HIOH H~ ARE EXAGGERATED. S~ IS DRIPPI~ IN ERMINE AND HER WIG I~ WORN FLOOZIE BOB, A WAITER IS LEADING HER TO A TABLE AND HER SNLTRY WALK KEEPS T~ WITH THE SEDUCTIVE MUSIO IN ~ B,Qo AS SHE IS SEATED AT THE TABLE, CA~ FEATURES ESCORT. HE I3 EDDIE CHA~ERS~ THE BOY DA~X ~AW IN THE PHOTO- GRAPH, ONLY NOW HE WEARS A V~LLAINOUS ~JSTAC~. TERRY SITS DOWN A~ TAKE8 OUT A COMPACT. WA~R And wha~ will ~t be this evening? TEF~X (SULTRY) ~he u~ual. ~T~01 007766
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@ AS ~ STARTS TO PCT ON MORE LZPSTICK E~DIE LEERS AT ERR E~F/~, ~4EN WX~ AT T~ WAI~R IN THE MANNER OF A WOLF ABOUT TO PLY HIS DATE WITH LXQUOR* EDDXE ~ubles. WAITER (ECHOING ORDER) The usual .... double. AS ER STARTS AWAy; TERRY Oh walter... WAITER Yes? TERRY I re-double. WAXTER WAITER Would you care to look at a mere? TEmT~ We did~vt oome here to read. AS THE WAITER MOVES OPF, ~ OPENS HER COMPACT A~D STARTS APPLYING MASCARA. AT THIS MO~NT DANNY APPRGA~ ~E TABLE° DAN~ ', (IN A DISTRESSED TONE) Terryl SHE TURNS AND LOOKS AT HER FATHER AS THOUGH RE WERE A TOTAL STRANGER. L
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23. I call l~ 811 "Daddy," (TO EDDIE) Donlt I~ Daddy? EDDIE SuEarj is this man bothsring you? TERRY AS lon6 as il;*S a man~ it,s no bother, AT ~IIS M0~NT, THE WAITER SETS DOWN M DRINKS, DAI~NY Ter~, you*re breaking ~ hear%, Surely yo~ remember me, nT~01 00??669
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RTH01 007?670
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EDDIE TAE~S OUT A BIG E01L OF BILI~ AND PEE~ O~ OFF. EDDIE 01d ~mer, betels a ten spot. I~t|s have ~ ~t~ber. DANNY I~OES AT T~ BILLa H~RT, AND STARTS TO ~O- TEST, DANklY A number? (THEN A D~MATIC TP~NSITION AS ME SETS AN IDEA) A n~ber, huh? Ali .~ight.o. I~11 glve you a number. ~N]SIG COMES IN THE B.G~ A~ STA}~ING ~ AT THE TABLE DANNY SINGS "~!S NC~IDY!S SWEE~ NGWi" ME S~GS IT WITH GREAT FMELING FOR TERRY'S BEFIT, AT ~ CON~USION OF ~ N~ERj AS TME AODIENCE APPLAUDS, DAh~Y, WITH A IDOK OF DETERMINATION, DE~IDME TO TA~ T~ SITUATION IN ~AND AND GRABS TERRY BY ~N~E ARM. DA~ Come on, Terry. You're going home ~ith me. TERRY Don=t get grabby, Big ~Oy. DANNY Big Boy? (RISING) EDDIE You he&Pd her. DANNY (ThiEVING ON EDDIE) Why, you... AS ME TURNS, HE RAISES HIS HANDS TO FIGHT E~IDIE, BUT BEFORE ME CAN STR~ A BLOW, EDDIE HITS HIM IN THE STOMACH WITH A LEFT HOOK~ AS DAN~Y DOUBLES UP, RTX01 007'26 ?'
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26. EDD"r~ ;"roKs UP A ~ ~ 'PROM A ~,AI~" T.e, BLE AND SI¢~SI~,~IrI~0V~D.~IN~'S HEAD. DANNY STAOOERS A P~ ~ AWAY ~ THE TABLE AI~ FAT.,I~ DOWN. (~c~e on, ~dsome.., letJs go. THE MUSIC OF "F~ AND J~INNY" SNEAKS IN A~) S~ STARTS FOR ~E DCOK, WITH V/TER DISREGARD SHE STEPS OVER ~E I~RT F~M OF DANNY. AS S}~ EXITS: DIS3OLVE TO: RT~01 00??6?2
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FI] X01 00;";::'6 ?'5
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I ? i+.+ t. 23A (53) . Rev. 1/31/55 EARGAP~E you flnd that boy o~ I'll break a bottle over your bead. DANN~ Don?t wor~j abovt ita IIR] f2nd h~mJ MARGAP~:T See that you do! DANNY ~f ] tell you ]']1 f~nd h~m, ll]l f~d h~m| D]SSOI,V~] TO! 29A. f+l ~"01 O0 ;:L ;'{; ~''{/~
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DANN~ Wondez'ful~ honey. You look like a dream... I mean a beautiful dream. Yea sir# 8 real llt#le lady. TERRY I hope Eddle thinks so. MARGARET GLARES AT DA~ AND HE SQUIRMS. DANNY (FALTERING) TerrX# Eddie was here but,., well.., weil, sometimes when a fellow has a date with a beautlful Eirl.°° somot~s they get ¢old feet • °o well, th~t1~ what mus~tve h~ppened with EddSe. He was here • .. and.°° well, the next thin~ I k-~ew, he was go~e• Gone? But we had a da~e &n~,°. (THEN ~ EYES FLASHXNO) Boys| DANNY (6~R~ULLY~ AS HE TRIES TO SAVE THE SITUATIOH) But Terry, tell you what. (TA~S MONEY OUT OF HIS pOCKET) I,ii E~ve you five dollars° Oo down to the malt shop and oelebrate your b&rthday with you~ ~rlenda°,. the whole thing~s OD me° BO, ATe01 00~76 F'2'
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@ 31. TERRY Thanks, Daddy. But I doD't 08re to go the malt shop. (INDICATING ~ER 0~EPIT) Not like this. They!re Just kids.., practically shildren* SHE IS TEARPUL AS SHE TURNS AND GOES BACK INTO HER ROOM, DANNY TURNS TO MARG~To DANNY See, hon8~ what san I do? MARGARET • here~s only one thine to do and >suite going to do it. DANNY Whatls that? MARGARET You!re solng to take her to the Ambassador. SHE EXITS INTO TERRY!S ROOM. DANNY LOOKS AF'IER HERj REACTS, T}~E HURRIES TO THE FROM DOOE~ HE OPEL'S IT, PICKS UP THE CORSAGE BOX LYING IN THE HALL, RUSHES OVER TO THE DESK IN THE i~V~NG ROOM. AS HE DISCARDS EDDIE'S OA~AND HURRIEDLY SCBYJ~LES ONE OF HIS 0~ -- DISSOLVSTO: ATe01 OO??6?8
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32. O @ ZNT. A~B~SSADOR CLUB SM~bD FOYER INCLUDING CHECK ROOM, ~ A~ DANN~ ENTER. TERRY LOOKS AROUND, AWED BY ~E EI/~AN~. DANNY (REMOVING HER WRAP) I~ll check this for you.~ TERRY (EAGERLY) Daddy. Oh, let me 0heck it, DANNY okay. 1,11 see about a table. AS DANNY CROSSES TOWARD THE MAITRE DT TERRY APPROACN- ES THE CHECK ROOM. THERE IS A 0USTO~ AHEAD OF HER. ~I~LE SHE %~A~TS, SBE PRIMPS AND A$SU~S A ~GPH~T~- CATED AIR. THE CUSTOMER RECEIVES A HATCI~ECK HHOM THE GIRL# AND TERRY STEPS TO TND CO~F~, DANNY APPEAK$ BEHIND :~E~. TERRY I~d llke to chea~ my wx'al~ please. ATH01 00776?9
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k 33, CHF.,OK GIRD Okay, honeyo AS SHE STARTS TO WAIT ON ANOTHER CUSTOMSH# TERRY INTERRUPTS: .TERRY Don~t I ge'~ ~ oheok~ CHECK GIRL You WOntt ~eed one, honey, ITll remember yOU* TEP~Y (DISAPPOINTED) Thank you. (SHE FISHES IN HER PURSE AND HANDS T~.GIRL A QUARTER) Here, MISS.. : CHECK OIRL You keep that, honey. BUy your- self an ice oresm 8oda. AS TERRY TUP~S AWAY, DISAPPOINTED, DAN~ TA~S H~ ARM. DA~Y Come on, beautiful, welre 811 set -- rlnsside table. MOVING HOT AS T~ MAITRE D! LEADS THEM TO A TABLE, SEATS TEEM AND HANDS THEM EACH AN IMSRESSIVE MSNU. WAITER Made~oiselle -- F~sleur. DANNY Well, honey' ~ha1~l~ it be? TERRy INSPECTS THE ~ AND FOR A MOmeNT SEEMS CO,USED AND E~ARRASSEDo ATXOI 0077680
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~3A (53) - Rev,. 1/~1/55 34. ~.. ii/ ~NTo MAI~ SHOP - NIGHT AMA~,E~N~ AS CAMER~ PUI~ ~ACK HEVEALINO MAROAP~,T DANCING W~TH EDDIE° AS MARGAI~ET SEES T~Mt MAROARF,~ Someon~ ~hd %o bo Edd~els date. DANNY ~Ys yo~ ~e~3o~ Jim ~o~ry ~bo~ what ~a~Dened a% %ho house. You see, ~ %hou~t -- well, someday u~der~%a~d° ~ mean ~%1~ hard %0 explaln ~- EDDIE Thatts al~ r~%~ M~° W111~am~. Your W~[e explained, k She d$~? What did she 8ay~ . ~ ,. , ' , f~ l NOI O0;";:'t;~l
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/ 23A (53) -aev. i/31/~5 EDD~F,, We~]j she -- she said yo~ we~'e DANNY Yeah -- Just a ~razF mlxed up adu]t. (TO PROPRIETOR) G~ve the gang ~at then wan~ 8nd It,~s on ~. PROFBJETOH Flnc, (TO q~;RBY) What'// you have? q~RRY A Paradise sundae.o, ehooolat~ a~d strawberry lee cream, vanllla ~rup~ wb~pped c~es~,, e ¢ber~ h~d chopped a]~onds,j, p]~. EDD~ Ill] have the same, exoepB m~ke m~ne a double. DANNY Mske mflnc a t~p3e. What~l] ~ou here, Margaret~ ~ROA~]T g sgomaoh pump, EDDIE Wanna dance, TeP~N~ TI;NNY I sure do. DANNY Would ~ou ]Ike to dance~ M~rga~e~? f]l HOl OO27'6E)~P
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23A (53) - ~ev. I/~i/55 .~6. MARSAI'~'..T Supe, ~letis l~ve da~gepous]N, THEY START TO DANCE. THE TEEN AGE DANCERS }[ECOME WJLDRR AN[) ~MRGAPJ~T AND DANNY FIND |IT DIFFIOUI,~ ~9 E~,EP UP WITH T~M. THEY AP~R S00N LOST TO VIEW XN T}~, CROWD. OAMER~ I~[OKS T}~]M UP CRAWLING OUT THE DOOR. FADE OUT. THE END :.0 • , %- •~ • !/ ~ 1¸ ~ .~ - . ,. fHHO'I 00,,{, ,~
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37. @ @ INT. MALT SHOP AS DANNY AND TERRY ENTER* SHE IS IN A C~UL MOOD° KIDS HER OWN AGE ARE IN THE B.G° AND A JUKE HOX IS BLARING ° DANNY Well, here we are, doll -- let~ live i~ up. TE~Y Wait111 I check my ~ap. SHE TAKES HER WRAP OFF ON TOP OF A PX~ OF ASSORTED JACKBTS BELONGING TO T~ TEEN-AGE PATRONS° DANNY SPOT8 EDDIE CHAMBERS AND ~PROA0~S THE BOY. DANNY S~V, young fellowa IIm BO~ &bout wha~ happened at the house. You see I ~hou~ -- well~ 8@m@dE~v when youtre a father ~OU'II ~d~,st~d. X me~ it's ham@ to explain -- ~TNOI 00??684
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• L @ 38. EDDIE Tha5'~ all rlghto Mm. Willlams. Your wife called 8nd explained, DANNY She did? What did she say? EDDIE Weilj she -- she said you were orazy° DANNY Yeah. Just a crazy mlxed-up adult~ EDDIE Herets ~ ten dollars, ~. Willisms. DANNY NO, yOU keep it, (THEN TAL'~N@ TO THE PROPRIETOR) Give the gang what they want and it's on PROPRIETOR Fine. (LEANS OVER TO EDDIE) What111 you have? EDDIE The usual. FOR A MOMENT DANNY REACTS, THEN GRINNING: DANNY Make it a double. THE PROPRIETOR LEANS OVER TO TEENY W~O HAS JOINED DANNY AND EDDIE. ~TMOI 0027685
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39. PROPRIETOR Whatlll you have, TerTy? TERRy A Paradise sundae.., 0hooolate and strawbe~ ~.o~ cream, vsn~lla syl~p, Whipped sl, eam, a che~ and chopped almonds.., plain. AS THE PROPRIETOR MOVES DOWN THE COUNTER TO TAKE THE OTHER KIDS~ ORDERS, EDDIE TURNS TO TERRY. EDDIE Wanna dance, Terry? TERRY I sure do. WITH T~IS SHE KICKS OFF HER HIGH HEE~ SHOES AND DANNY WATCHES HER JU~ BACK INTO CHILDHOOD WITH GREAT PLEASURE. SHE AND EDDIE DANCE ~VITTEF~UG STYLE, AND AFTER LOOKING ON FOR A WHILEs DANNY TAPS EDDIE OH THE SHOULDER. DANNY May I cut in? AS EDDIE STEPS ASIDE, DANNY JITTERBUGS WITH TERRY. AT THE CONCLUSION 0E THE NUMBER, ALL THE KIDS APrIAUD DANNY. TEARY Well, Daddy, you were a blg hit. DANNY They wePe Just 8~plaudlnS because lira an old man. AS HE SMILES AND GASPS POR BREATH~ DISSOLVE TO: RT~01 00??686
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4 INFERIOR APART~NT LIVING ROOM - NIGHT MARGARET. IS SEATED ON THE COUCH AS DANNY. E~ERS WITH TERRy. DANNY IS CARRYINO HER PUMPS IN H~$ HAND. TERRY IS TIRED B~ RADZ~To MARGARET Well, night owl~, did you have a good tlme? How was the ~Jubas sador ? TERRY ~t was okay but we had real run at the Malt Shop, dldnTt we? • DANNY (WINKING AT MARGARET) We sure did. We met Eddie and had sodas • o o ATXO1 00?768?
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75 TERRY (CHIMING IN) And We danced and eve~ythlns. (SHE KISSES MARGARET) Ooodnl~t, Mother,.• SHE ENTERS T}~ BEDROOM AND DANNY FOLLOWS B~IND HER~ DANNY Wel1~ goodnlght, ~Tlncess, and thanks for a wondem/ul evenlnE. TERRY ooodr~ g~t, Daddy, DANNY Oh. and TerzToo. about that llp- stlok... TERRY, Yes? D~NY Let me see if it really 2s kiss- proof° AS HE KISSES HER, FADE ODT,
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!? / ~ " \! • THE THOMAS SHOW "MAd ROOM FOR DADDY" Subtible: "Peter Pan". ~ ~ WRX'2TBN BY MAC ~NOFF RT~01 007?689
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"MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY" DT #24A (54) ~;ubtitlef "Peter pan" DANNY, H ,** o o o H ~ i, o o * * J. ,DANNY T~OMAS MARGARET. .... °°°°°°°°.°°°.JEAN HAGEN TERRY,, ° ° ° °..,, ° o~,;* ~. ~,,o °8~RRY JACKSON RUSTY, o...~ io H ~ Jo*~ ,* ~** 6RUSTY HAiR PETER KIP~BY~,,, ~, o ,~, ** 6.* SETS INTo CHILDRENIS BEDROOM INT, KITCHEN INT, BACKSTAGE INT. LIVING ROOM
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m "MARE ROOM FOB DADDY" Subtitlez "PeteP psn" FADE IN~ INTI CHILDREN'S HEDROOM - NIGHT THE CHILD~N ARE ~TTING INTO THEIR PAJAMAS AS MARGARET ~AD8 TO TREM THE CLOSING SCE~ OF ACT IV OF "PETER PAN." ~RE CHILDREN PAY RAPT ATTENTION AS SHE ACTS IT OUT° MARGARET (READING FROM TRE PLAY) peter Pan leads first at his dagger, and then at his grlndst~ne, to sharpen It. Tinker Bell Flies ovep to ~he Dolson and pines out a warnlnE cry. "Oha that is Just mM medlolne," Peter says -- "polso~ed? Who could ~ve poisoned it9" TERRY It was that awful plrate, Captain Hook° ATN01 0077691"1
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@ @ RUSTY I'd llke to polson him. TERRY BOy, I never want to go to see a play wlth Rusty &gain. Eapecially when we have seats in the first row. He kept yelllng things llke that an evenlng. MABGA~T Rusty, you really mustn't. You had that poor man who was playlng Captain Hook so nervous he was practlcall¥ leaping around that stage.°. fortunately he di__~d settle down for the last a~t° RUSTY Only because I ran out of beanB for my bean-shooter. MARGARET Rusty! RUSTY Every time he turned his back -- pow! And it wasn't in the klsser~ TERRY Oh, come on, Mother, read the rest of it. 2, ATe01 00??692
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MAROA~T All rlght°°, this is the blg eeene where Peter reaches for the polaon and Tinker Bell drlnks it befoPe he can touch it. "Why, ~nk, you have drunk my medi¢Ine~" She fluthers stranKely about the room~ answering him now in a very thin tlnkle. "It was poisoned and you drank it to save my llfe-I Tlnk, dear ~nk, are you dylng?" (~ OHZLD;~N LISTEN !NT~NTLY) "He~ light i~ Krowing falntj and if it goes OUt, that means she 18 dead| Her voice is so low Z can sca~oely tell what 8he is Baylngo 8he BayB -- Bhe say~ ~he thinke she could get well again if children belleved in fairle~! (TO RUSTY A~D TERRy, APPEALING) Do you belleve in fairlee? Say quick that you believe| If you believes clap you~ han~B .f" THE CHILDREN CLAP THEIR HANDS EMPHATICALLY° P~$TY I believe! X belleve~ MAROA~T "She le aaved| Oh, thank you~ thank you| 3g ATN01 002?693
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DT -~4A (54) - Rev. 2p/55 MAt{OAP~:~ (GONT~IO The moon is rld~ng in 8 cloudy hea~m/~ Pe~e~ pan f3~e8 of~ into the B~j ~o not out ~pon hlB perilous quc~to (SJ[~; Cf~SBS T~.. BOOK) Wet]~ LhatTB enou~ for tonight° ~nto hod.~ Ohj Mo~h~ -- ~ho~el~ ~'~ on~ ~Lo~e act| MARGAP~4 DO you k~o~ what t~ ~t ~? ]t~ after hinduism.~ T~;RRY ~Bh D~ddy could hav~ ~o~en ~i~th u8 ~o the p~sy. MARGAP~;T YOU~ ~'a~ho~~ £8ncic8 h~e~f ~ a ha~d-hea~cd rea~st° ]E~ not exsotly ~he Pe~e~ Pa~ ~ype° T~;PJ~Y DO you th~t~k ~tl~ over h~ hoad? MARGAP~;T I~tl~ b~ charitable arid 88y that a~ fs~ ~ your ~e~ ~ ~on¢~c~ ~he leg~lms~e theat~ beF, In8 ~d e~d~ ~l~h Me~aBha Skuln~k~oo ~owj ooze on~ RUB~y~ ~n~o bed| f],~OI ~o r] % 00-,'P[;94
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@ @ ~Q RUSTY lJm not here -- I Just flew out the window. MARGAP~T Well, turn around at the Empire State BuildinE and make a three- point Ianding on your pillow. TERRY It was certainly wonderful the way Mary Martin and those kids Just floated around that stage. And the music| I think "Peter Pan" is one of the best Broadway SHOWS I ever saw, MARGARET Well, thank you, George Jean Nathan. Rusty, did you think sos too? (NO ANSWER) Rusty, where are you? RUSTY l'm looking for the Empire State Buildlng.t MARGARET Itls right here, under the covers. Come on, Peter pan, fly back in. RUSTY CIRCLES ~ ROOM, HIS ROBE OPEN, AS THOUGH FLYING. ~ JUMPS OFF A CHAIR. RUSTY Here I come, in through the window. Nheeeee. HE LANDS IN BED, MARGA~T TUCKS HIM IN. ATe01 00PP695
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6o ~ROA~T Con~ider ¥oursel~ grounded ~ill tomorrow. GoodniEht. SHE Y~ISSESTHE CHILD~N A~TURNS Ot~T~ LIOHT. RUSTY (AS SHE STARTS OUT) Mother -- MARGAF~T (STOPPINO) Yes, dear? RUSTY I~ I'm not here in the morning, ~ust Wrlte to me in Never-Neve~ Land~ MAROARET 0£ course° I'll send i~ airmail Bo you can Just fly up and get it.°. you planning on s~aylnE away long? RUSTY Jus~ lon~ enou~ to kill a £ew MAROA~T Well~ do~Vt ba~ any more %hart the limit° You sure youlll be able to find your way back? RUSTY Well.,o l~ave a pea~u~ butte~ sandwioh on ~he window slll ~o I ~sn ~o~e l~ On ~he be&m° MARQARET All r~h~ dear. nT~Ol 00??696
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0 0 0 - ° ~ o o
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8. INTb KITC~N - DAY MARGA~T IS FIXING BREAEFAST AS DANNY ENTERS~ IN PAJAMAS AND ROBEt DANNY Boys it sure is good to be h~ne agaln. NOW for a real breakfaBt| MARGARET Ye~° I oftsn wonder wh~oh It i~ you mi~B moBt -- r~ Or ~ coffeeo DANNY Now, honeys is that any way to talk? All the tlme I was away on the road~ w~y waB I lonesome and weary? Where dld my thoughta go In every waking moment? Why did I tosB ar~ t~n, alone ~n my beda mi~e~able~ unhappy, thPough ~he oold, sleeplesa hi@his? ATM01 00?769B
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@ 9, MARGA~T (TOUCHED) Why, darllng| DANNY I tell you, Mangle, you Just can't get ooffee 1She this in Toledo.¸ P~ TA~S COFFEE FROM ~° MARQARET I wondeP where Captain Hook got that poIBon? DANNY Who? MARGA~T captain Hook -- a frlend of Menashals° DANNY Ifm too sleepy to figure you out this morning. Nhere are the kids? I havenIt 8ven 8eon th~ ~eto MARQA~T They got to bed pretty late last night. I t~id you I took them to the theatre. DANNY Maybe we oughta wake lem up. I want to show them the award the Toledo Newsboys AsBo~iation gave me. Dld I tell you about It?
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~ #ell (54) - aev. e/#/55 MARGARF.T Over a~d over 8galnj while I tossed a~d tur~ed, nllserab~ ~d unhappy, throu6h the oold, s3eeple~s nl ~f~t, DANNY YOU know what l sald when they gave rae that awal,8? ~ sald, t~'o]edo Newsboys, ] learned a great lesson fin ]Jfe and you ~n tnrn can ]ea1'q from me. I WaS se]l~n~ papers when I was my son Ru~tyl~ ~ge, helping to support a famfi]y. AS the twlg fl~ bent, so ~rows the tree. life Is nol a bowl of chcrrdes. And you can't look at l~fe th~oug~l rose-co]ored glasses.' Then I h~t them wlth that quotation from Shakespeare -- what Is ~t agalh? MA}{GAP~IT ~TBIS Js a tale told by ar~ ~dlot~ full of strange sounds, sJ~;dfy~ng ~0. ? ¢]1 ,',,~01 00?2200
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@ DANNY (CONTH~) why I~m bringing up my children to face pea]ity. Why, even now nW SOn Rusty, at sever,, hss both f~t f:l~llly on the gPo~nd -- TME DO0~ 0PRNS AND RUSTY C0~S IrRI,YlNG" ~Nj DRESSED FOR SCHOOL, FLAPPING HIS AP~!S, FOLS~WED BY TERHY, ][blIT~T]NG HIM -- RUSTY STUt4BI~S A LITTIR, GHTS UI', RUSq~ ~o]low me to the Mermaid's ]~goon~ DANNY RUSty: Terry: Daddy's home: RUSTY Ou~ of my w~F ~- ] 're g.o~ fairy dust on mo.' ] ANNY (STARTLHD, TO ~L~RGAHEq ) Wh~? What's he go~ on h~m? ~,ARGARkq Fairy dust, dear. Sol~d, haz~- working faSry dust. RUSS Y I just flew here from Never-Never hand. l,gO'l O0?P?OI
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TERRY And he has to go back# because he left his shadow there and fill have to sew it on for him, DANNY Oht fine. And take a couple of stitches in his stralght Jackett too. Margaret, what is this? MARGARET The show I took them to see last night was Mary Martin in PeteP pan. Rusty was quite Impressed° RUSTY Especially when Peter stood rlEht in the middle of the stage and said, "I donlt Want to go to school and learn solemn thlngs, NO one is EolnE to catch me, lady, and make me a man, I want always to be a little toy and have fun," DANNY MarsaPet, what kind of a show is that to take the klds to? I'm trying to teach tam llfe is real, life ie earnest and soon they'll have to earn their own living| MARGARET What did you want them to see -- "Death of a Salesman"? • ATX01 007P?02
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/ , L L Nobody can~ MARGAY';7 Nsn~ was Quite a dog, D~nny, ~n her tail wagzluE behlnd. ~:1] ,~01 00;-'?';"03
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0 RUS~ Peter P6n told ue how to, DA~ yeah? HOW do you do At? RUSTY You Just think lovely ~onderful thoughts and they lift you up in the ~i~, DAVY The last t~me you had a lovely wonderful ~hought it was to put £1yPSper ln~ypeJa~Bl NOW forgeC ~hose silly ido~sl RUSTY Ohlldren oa__~nflyo ~ven grown-ups° DANNY They c~not| RUSTY yo__~uJust fle~ in f~om ~oledo. DANNY ThatTs different! TERRY Wherel~ your ~m&g~na~ion? DANNY I lo~t it at the airport when the~ eske~ me for eighteen dollars 15. ATe01 00???04
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ill, ,";1 ~0"1 O0;'P;'05
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RUSTY Well, MaN Martin san fly, saw her fly all over the stage. And the chi1~en, too. AS soon as she sprlnkled them with fa$~ dust, they all flewo DAN~"/ Thatfs lmposslble -- for your information, my little friend, I happen to know Mary Martin. Shets beautlfui~ shels t~lented, bu~ she 8tlil weighs ~ hundred and four pounds and enough talent to get It off the, gyound she alntt got! RUSTY (ANGRY) I saw her| She died fly! I saw he~| DANNY Rusty i. MARGARET (QUICKLY) Come on, children -- better hu~r~ or you111 he late for RUSTY Z'II Just think lovely school, Not me| wonderful thoughts and fill fly there in no time. AND HE "FLIES" OUT OF THE ROOM. EXIT. 16. RE TRIPS BEFORE HIS RTH01 0077706
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/ I ~. D~ #24 (541 - Bey. e///55 DANNY }le12~ k~1] hlmself. TERRY Goodbye, Mother. (START~ F0R DOOR) And, Daddy, please let Rusty fly a ]Itt]e wh~le longer, A ]Ittle ~maglnatlon ~s a very Importar~t th~ng. DANNY Thank you, l¢]s]e D~nsmol'e] ~;RRY EXJTS. MARGAI~BT Shets absolutely ~gh~] If he wants to f~y, let h~m fly. }fell] be an old pedest~Jan like yo~ soon e~ough. DANNY SUX~ -- so ] should ]e~ ~usty grow up thlnk]I~g the world's a puff of smoke, ]~fels make-believe. ~f I ever told my father I believed ~n fs~rles, ~ wou]dntt have enough teeth 3eft ~n m~ mouth to pronounoe the word. i know thst whole f]ylng ~ag Is done with wi~es -- I'm ~oDnB f~nd ~ way to pPove It to Busty. ]7. MARGAR~T So poo~ lltt]e Busty will be i L
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5 @ }H,', HANGS DISSOI,VE - Rev. ~p/55 DANNY YOU had to take him co see Peter Pan| Itve Just come boon fro~ Lell~ng the Toledo Newsboys that the Jmpor~an~ th~ng ~z 31re ~s to keep their feet on the ground. And I come hon~ to f~nd my son flying over Central Park, (]NT0 PHONE) SSndy, w~]i you get the WinDer Gsrden, re]] them youSre calling fop ~e atLd see df you can ~eb ~Le Mary Msrt~nls p~ivate pho~o nunLbor. UP PHONE,. MARGA}I95T WhSb aro you go~ng to 6o7 DANNY )~m golng to $av£ my son from belng shot down st recess. q0: )8. !'! .L~ ,.. i~ ~' ~,"..,.':~: )i~/~ ] ',] . .,..
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q, 0 DT %<24 (54) - Roy. ~/7/55 2N~C~ SEG~I'~OI,~ OF BAOK,~'aGF, PET~;R K}P~IY ~S O}[EOKIN9 q'l~; WII~ R~gGING A~R A KI}IB¥ (O~I,L~NG UP TO ~'IIE FI,I~,~} ~ifs when I pu~ th~ WQi~,hta oi~ take up ootlbe~ back and sho~t. Understan~ ? AI,~P~[I'S VO]O~; (o.s.) ~yej ~r. Kirby. KI~By I dldh~t like the ~ay ;q~,ndy landed in the ~a~t ac~. ~h~ p]unkedo I think the~e mu~ be ~ome~i~g w~ong ~¢~th the oo~n~ • , i • balance. Han~, on Ill~ Eo ~et • • |. : • another weight, i ' , ~ .
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DT #2Z~ (54) - ~ev. ~/t/55 2o. HE, EXITS, AFTER A MOmeNT DANNY ~;NTERS, ~ STARTS ~NSPEC2]NG T~ HARNESS,° }~] PV£S IT ON AND ATI'EMF]S TO FI,Yo KIRBY ENPERS, K] PE~Y Maybe you'd l~ke me Lo B; rlnk]e a little fail~y dust On you, DANNY Oh, ]Ira so~ry. KIHBY You're sorl,y~ We've had a r.u~e for forty years, that no one can come backstage ~o muck about and ~LC~ I/I~ OUl~ W~r'08, DANNY ['a%~on [f~o:, ~I fill SC~I'I'~', Oo~J]d you tell me where ] couRd f~nd Mr,, Kirby? Aye, KI~Y DANNY Nave you seen hll,~ Aye; DANNY Wou]d you tell hlm ]'d l~ke talk to him? KI RBY YOU Just told him. DANNY I beg you~ pardon9 i %O J,' t (]]H01 OL, , , I[
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~k~'~! ~ ~. ~i ~i i ~ , DI ~0'1 OOPP?'I '1
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@ r (54) . ?Vf{2/r/55 KIRBY I k{~ow Juet how you feel, My entire llfe l!ve spent beok~tage amusing tho~e }Ittle monsters out front, My fam~lyls been woPklr, g the wires evep s~noe Sir James Battle wrote the blssted play, flfty yea~s a£o. D~NNY Mr, K~rby -- KI PJSY Don~t breath tbJ8 to a SOUl,,, but ]!re spent the isst twenty years silently rootSug for that terrlb3e Csptaln Hook .I DANNY Mr~ Kirby, donlt you notice anythlnz uuusua] ? KIRBY What? DANNY My feet are off the ground. KIRBY Well, thatls not up to me. Itls up to Alf. A~f? Aye6 DANNY KIRHY 2~. ff ./ f]l,~01 00;'?;'12
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D~ #24 (54) - ~ev. eF(/55 DANNY Is All here? Aye. DANNY Oould 3 talk to h~m? KIRBY Aye. DANNY I,e%ts cut out thls nonsense. LOOk, thls is y]dlcu]ous, Mr. K~rby, ] Ju~ Oeme here to ask you ~o ~elp ~boU~ n%y Son. ~'rove be hl~ t~a~ Peter Pan doesn,t rcall~ ~l~° 31d ~Ike you to oome u~ to ~y pla~e for d~uner. ~rln~ aloh~ the w~Y~, Explode the whole ~th. KIPJ~Y I see what you mean. Tell the l~ttle blighter the truth and possibly dlspe] the myth for al~ time? That will be a pleasu~e~ ~ndeed~ (CAI,~,ING) A~f, let him down -- hef~ oue o~ u~ DANNY DN0~S ~D T~ STAGE. DI~SOIV~: TO: ~7 }<0'~ 00;'?;"'I3
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25. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT DANNY IS SPEAKING TO MARGARET. DANNY And he feels just the way i do,r He+li be here in a few minutes to explain the whole thing to the kids. MARGARET Im~ineo., inviting a ma~ up with a saLchel full of steel wires... Just to spoil the most wonderful time of your sonfs llfe,~ DANNY Sure. Wondem!'ul. This mo~,nlng I saw him nesrly break his ned<, Laker I Saw him downstairs flappln~ (MORE) 8]+~01 0077714
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e6. DANNY (OONT'D) his a~Iss tz~in~ to fly over the iron feDce iLext dooP. [~8rgsret~ you dldnlt ~Ive me a son -- you ga~e me a chicken hawl:~ MARGAF~T Conslde~ing whst he had for a ?8the~S that was doing pretty well... (SHE GETS TO ?~R FEET) Well, Itll go set Terry. $hels across the street, DANNY Itli go with you -- i donlt want you two heading off my guest at the door~ MARGARET Honestly, you can make more fuss about nothing -- DANIIY i know yOU, Margaret, MARGARET (CALLING) Rusty -- Rusty, dear. RUSTY ENTERS FROM KIDSI NOOMj "FLYING" INTO qT[E LIVING ROOM. RUSTY Here I come in for a landing~ HE LANDS IN A SITTING POSITION. f~ Y ~01 007??15
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~Te DANNY This kid's got more flying hours than Lindbergh| (TO RUSTY) Take it easy -- your landins gear's getting worn out~ MARGARET Rusty, your fathe~ and I are going out to get Terry - so behave yourself, BUSTY If we had a Newfoundland dog for 8 nurse she could make me behave myself. DAN~Cf i offered the job to a dog and she ~an back to Newfoundland| (TO MAROA.~T) Come on. THEY EXIT, RUSTY OLDIES UP ONTO THE TOP OF THE SOFA A~[D '~FLIES" OFF IT, THE D00~LL RINGS, RUSTY "FLIES" TO THE DOOR AND OPENS IT, HEVEALING MR, KIRBY. HE CARRIES A VALISE. RUSTY Hello. KIRBY Uh -- how do you do. Does Mr. Williams live here? RUSTY Sure, llm Rustya MR, KIRBY Ohhh... I expected sDmeone a bi~ older. (}IB ENTERS) My nBme is Peter Kirby and llm from BnEland, and Ifm happy to meet you. 8T)401 O0;~?P I 6
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RUSTY I'm hap~y ~o mee$ you bu~ ~ do~'$ come from ~ny ~laoe -- I~ve be~n her~ all the ~Ime~ ~R~ EIP~¥ !~ your father home~ RU~TY He111 be back In ~ mlnute. Th~n I'll have to stop p~actioing because he doesn't like it. (HE CLIPS UP Ol~ ~E SO~A) He doeenlt ~hi~k ~eople can fl~. IBnJ~ ~ha~ EIRBY Maybe he doesntt wa~ you ~o get hurt. Can you ~eally fly, RU~ty? RDSTY Onl~ sort of. But Peter Pan ~an really. I saw him. KIRBY IRE~CMING FOR VALISE1 I believe I ~hai! be doin~ you a f~vor if I ~how ~ou what I brought alon~. ~IRB~ OFE~S V~LISE~ R~STY He said I could fly, if I'd Just think lovely wonder£ul ~ho~hts. O~ly I~ ~ot ~ very good boy, so I haven't bee~ able to think them yet~ 28. ATe01 0077717
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KIRBY (HESITATING) I see... RUSTY My daddy says I'm pretty awful and he ought to know. When he was little he was the awfullest one in his fa~ly. KIRBY Yes, I imagine he i_.ssan authority on the subject... RUSTY But I found 8 way to sort of fly. I Just close my eyes and think I'm flying and then I cen go pretty nearly anywhere. KIRBY (CLSOING VALISE) Can you really, now? And are there truly places worth flying to9 RUSTY Oh, sure. When I go to sleep, I fly everywhere. In two seconds, I can fly out the window and over the top of the moon and then on and on to where Peter Pal~ lives,.. KIRBY (MUSINGLY) "Second to the right and straight on till morning.,," $9. 8TMO1 0077718
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30. RUSTY Yes, that's where he lives| How did you know the address? EIRBY seem to have h~ar it some place ... ove~ and ove~ agaln. RUSTY And then I!m in Neve~Never Land by the Mysterlous River and the Mermaid Lagoon... where the al&Igators car~F clocks ~n thelr 8toN~ch8 So you ~a~ hea~ them oomi~o°. ~nd there a~e Indians and F~Iries &nd pirates°., and Nh£~8 you ~ever have to S~OW up. EIRBY Don~t you w~n~ to grow up, Rusty? RUSTY No. Then l'd be llke Daddy and neve~ have any ~un~ Just childPen. THE DOOR OPENS A~ DANNY ENTERS, FOLLOWED BY ~RGARET AND TERRY. D~Ni~Y -- And he should be here a~y -- (~ STOPS) Oh, Mr. Kirby! Sorry I missed youl KIRBY Qulte all right, I assure you. frye been havln~ an enllgh~e~Ing ¢onversatlo~ Wi~h you~ 8on. AT~01 0077P19
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31. DANNy Su, z'e~ ~ure -- 8~bout t,l'~e ]~rlo(~ of bL~bblegta~, no cloubt!... ThIB ~.B my wlt~e~. ~argB.ret:~. an~ ray dB.ught e~j Terry. MAROAI~T Danny's told uB all abou'~ you, 141% ~ci.r by o DA~ yeah, "~vhat. I wan~ to kno~" ±B, have you ~;oic1 IRu~i;y the t~'oh yet about P~i;ez" Pan? IKIRB¥ "~ '.~a.B JUSt; about tO dO SO. DANNY Oood -- ~ want everybody to heal" ~h$~. ~L'~/A Brock shot~l@. ~o "ap a couple of I~o~.nts. ICr~¥ You Bee~ ~v.s'~y~ ~)et~r Par~ osrllt r~a~.].y f]~y, tmless I" helpo DANNY (Si~0L.V) The~e you a~e, sonl (TO IC.II',I!~y) Tell h~.m how you do it. I~I.RBy Rust~',,.. I ~or~ B.~ the ~;hea'GI'e,..° and befor~ P~.e,~ pB.n o~n t~1~ onto ~)~ ~t~L~e..~ )7~ oor~,B ~:o ~e... ~r~d I,..~ (Mo~ 1 ~T~01 0027720
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KIRBY (CONT!D) (HE HESITATES) I sprinkle him with Fairy Dust~ DANNY And then Alf~ed pulls on the wire, and -- (TA~8) Wha? Feiry Dust9 Wait a minute: KIRBY You see, I have a little bottle -- DANNY I'II bet you have! MARGARET Dsnnyt. KIRBY It was ~Iv~n ~o me by Tir~¢em Bell -- DANNY Tinker-Shmlnke~ Tell the kid the truth, Itls all made up~ It's only a play| KIFJBY ~ha~'s right, Eusty. Only a play. But it was written by a friend of r~, grandsther.., James Bar~ie... and ~Ir. B81.yle believed every Word of it... that when the first baby laughed for the first time, tlne laugh broke into a thousahd pieces and they all went skipping about and that was the besinnlng (MORE) ATe01 0077721
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KIRBY (c0 T!o) of Tinker Bell and all her friends .°° Well, my grandfather believed Mr. Barrleo And millions of children have believed him. And the Queen of ~ngland believed him and made him Sir James Battle. Whose word are you going to take -- your fatherTs or the Queen of England!s? RUSTY I don't even take my fatherls word when he says itTe time to go to bed. DANNY You wouldn't even take the Q~een of Ensland's word for tha.__~t| (TO KIRBY) Letls cut the comedy and show the kid what you brouaht in the vallse~ HE ~ACRBS FOR IT BUT KIHEY BEATS HIM TO IT. KIRBY Please... therets nothln~ iL% there but my shadow. My mother packed it for me when I was seven yearD old... (TO .WUSTY) Would you believe bbat I was once seven years old? 33. ATH01 0077,~22
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DUSTY Gee... yon don't look It. KIRBY Well, I got tired of it pretty fast, so I skipped to twelve, then twenty, then forty.., and before I ~eallsed it, I was a mean old blighter of sixty-five. And peter Pan -- Well, he hadn't changed at all. I thought I hated him. But I dldntt. I was Just Jeslous... so, Rusty -- donlt ever get tired of being seven... h&nE onto it as long as you can. }~ STARTS FOR T}~ DOOR. MARGARET M~. Kirby -- aren't you staying for dinne~? KZRBY I'm afraid I'm not too welcome here st the moment.., and besides, I have another appointment. OPENS ~ DOOR. TERRY Where are you going? KIRBY Second from the right and straight on till morning... (TO RUSTY) I hope to meet you bhere. Goodnlght. 34, AT~O'I 00??,"23
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HE STARTS OUT. RUSTY (CALLI~:G AFTER RIM) Goodnlg~t. And if you hear something ticki~ -- Itls an Blllgator| THE DOOR CLOSES. DANNY W~it a minute -- I gotta catch that guy~ MARGARET Why dcnlt you fly after (SMILING) him? RUSTY YoU can do It| Just think lovely wonderful thoughts~ DANNY For what I1m thinklng~ the Queen could have me hung| HE EXITS° DISSOLVE TO: 35. nT,~O 100FF?2~
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36. INT. BAC!~TAGE - NIGHT DANNY IS TALK~!G TO KIRBy AS KIRBY WORKS ON THE WIRES AGAIN. BACKSTAGE IS DESERTED. DANNY You were gonna throttle lem allZ You were so sick of the whole business you were gonna qult~ Whs$ happened? KIRBY I've been bsokstage too much. forgot whet It wss llke on the other side of the footlights... and oi% the other side of seven years old. Maybe you have, too. FITNO I 0022,-'25
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DANNY On the other side of seven years old I wss knooklng kids over the head to Set Shei~ p~De~ rDutes O~ else I wnldnlt have what to eat| I san just see m~sel£ teillng ~ky old man, "Pops betels what I earned today -- a ~ar add a half of fairy dust and a round-trlp ticket to the moon|" He woulda taken his foot and helped me wlth the takeoff.., and I bet I woulda made Itj to0~ KIRBy SO 2ou owe you~ success in life to hard, cruel reallsm, eh, Mr, Williams? DANNY Y~U said it, and thatls what X want my kids to learn. KIRBY I saw you once at the Palladlt~n in London -- you were a big hit... you w~l~ed ou~ on the stage and started to tell stories.., all alone In a spotlight.., and people l~u~hed and they applauded, Just as the children do at Peter Fan..o 37. R '1" ~(01 00;'??26
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DANNY I got a tou~her Job -- I gotta talk l~ud~r than the c~stome~s. KIEBY I could walk ou~ on that ~ame stage and tell exactly the same Jokes°.° and you know what would happen? DA~Cf It would pr~cably be fatal. Youtd ~o down t~der a ball Of pretzels° KIRBY Somethlng happens when yo~fre on a stage.., people want to believe°,. they ImaEine the scene8 you deso~ibe °., if they didnlt ~ave that Ima~i~tlon~ there would~1~ be any show buslness~ Mr. Williams° There WouldnTt be any Pet~ Pan... and there Wouldl~It ~e a~y oomedlans° You mean,., i~ woui~ be back ~o the ~a~e~ route? KIRBY ~x~otly. ~o~ make your llvin~ out of i~ake-~e~ieVe,o° you llve in Nev~r-~ever Land.°. ge~ ~id of i~ -- 8tamp it ou~ I~ teach children 38. RT~01 00??22?
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KIRBY (CONT'D) there'~ nothln~ but reality "" ar,d you, my friend, are cut of a job. DANNY Mr. Kirby-.. KIRBY yes? DANNY pATS HIl~ ON T~ BACK. DANNY Keep ,em flylO~| DISSOL~TO: 39. El T ,'~01 00?7?28
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THE ~M~RICAN TO3~CC0 ~0. PALL M~'J.L FA~f0U8 CIGARETTES T0~G SHOT OF P0"~I~IG ~LLEY AS . ~ ~J~S GO OF BALL P~TE~E SHOT - CU OF ROLLING LALL C~J OF PIN8 BEING STRUCK I~VER~E SHOT - TO MCU OF }~ACHINE '!;~ IT CO~S Dn~,~N TO ~ET UP PINS. ~GN R~ADS "RE!rARD YOURSELF" DIgS TO CU ~'AN~S HANDS T.~XING PALL I'[&LL FROM PACK ~IrLL BACE TO MCU OF MAN ENJny!~NG SMOKE POLL BACK ~TH~R TO I~'CLUDE OTHER B¢'~E~S ~g~n ~nDUCE PACKS OF PALL YALLS A~TD DO BrTSl~TESS SUITABLE TO TRE IDEA OF "YOU TOO" DISS TO AN~T~3D CIGARETTZ~ SMOKE ARR0"IS P~3~ING T'~SqU N~ "PALL ~'ALL" AB0~ A~D S~R "FI}~ TOB~CCn IS YT8 0!',r~ ~EST FILT~" BEneATH FADE OUT SUPER IN S3E~E 81 AND SUPER "THE FINEST QUALITY NONE~- CAN BU~" FADE OUT SUP~ ~ SCE.~E 9, AND FADE Y~ S~0~T ~Y~ .~=~E B~ ~TH FA~ i~L~. BCZ~H C!G&RET~E~ START BURNING ~CTH CIGARETTES ~MOKE D0~'/N IN SY~E~ BUT FALL }fALL R~!A~NS LONGER FXTE~TD PALl MALL AND SHORT C~GARETTE T~ 0RIGI~T~L LENGTHS A~!D RIGHLYGHT PALL "~,'.IL. SUPER ~,~ SUCCESSFUL". RXT~ID SHORT r, G ~'m~"'~' - ^ ,I ....... ~ TO ~0N~ CONTINU~ I[IGHLTOh~IRG ~,.~.T~ ~:ALL. SUPER "MCST I~YTATED" DIgS TO CU OF S~TOKI~IG CT3%~,TTE IN ~NIS "AND TV COMMERCIAL #96 ONE MINUTE SODND: (Background atmosphere of bowling alley) SOUND: (Rolling ball) SOUND: (Of pins being struck) ANNCR: (V.O.) RE, lARD yOURS~ R~ ~DYOURSELF with the pleasure of - smooth smoking. Smoke and /maa~ ~ and pELL MELL .' Fine tobacco is-i%s o~4n best filter and PELL M~L tobaccos ~ - are the finest quality money can buy° And look how PELL ~EL~,S ~reater length travels the smoke further - - filters the smoke naturally, and makes it mild. In facb your appre- ciation of PELL .~ELL qmality - - has made it A~er~ca Is most suceessf~l - - and most imitated cigarette. Itfs ~ cigarette...fine'tobaeco blended to a flavor Deak...dls- tinctlvely PELL MELL. (}!ORE) f~1"NO I 00?7229
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PALL MALL COM~Lo #96 - 2 - PULL BACK TO FULL SHOT OF B0~fLER SMOKING t~f~TH PLEASURE DISS TO ECU OF PACK WITH CIGARETTE IN ASH TRAy BESIDE IT, AND SUPER: "OUTSTANDING- ~ND THEY ARE MYL___~DP' (SOUND: OF PINS BEING STRUCK) So*~eward yourself - w~th a smoothnRs~)mildness a~d sati~- faotionno other elgarst%@ e~/~ offer you, Choose well,,,smoke PELLME~L| Get fresh~ new smoklngs~tisfae- PELL HELL Famous tlon.TM Buy Cigarettes...0utstanding - and they areas ATe01 00P7,~30
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~O. INT. CHILDRENtS BEDROOM - NIGHT MARGARET AND DANNY ARE PUTTING TRE KIDS TO BED. MARGARET And you~ father sat through the whole show~ TEF~R¥ Daddy, what dld you do when Peter asked If you believed In fairies? DANNY I led the whole audience in three cheers and a tiger! You think I wa~na go on relief? RUSTY And Mary Marti~ does fly, doesnlt she, Daddy ? ATX01 0027231
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41, DANNY All once hundred and four potunds~ She's got more talent than I fig~ed, TERRY Espee~-811y when she 8~*:%E8 tha% song, How does it ~o, Daddy? DANNY What song are you talking about? RUSTY The one youJve been pra~tI~Ing all evening° MARGARET (TO DAI,q~Y) C~me on,, 81hE out -- you Lebanese leprechaun| DANNY SINGS "RE%~R-NE~R LAND," AT TNE OONOLUSIONz RUSTY Ooodnigh~, You can leave us alone now. I~m not agraid of the da~,k, DANNY Oh, you donlt have to worr~ about that any more, Rusty. I hired a nurse,r OPENS T~{E ~0OR AND A HUGE NEWFOUNDLAND D~G DRESSED IN A NURSE'S UNIFORM MA:~S ITS ENTRANCE AS WE FADE 0b~. THE END AI"XO 1 00P?732
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THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW DT #18 "MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY" Working Title: "Rustty Runs Away" ..~¢+ ~+..,< WRITTEN BY BOB FISH~ & ALAN LIPSCOTT RTX01 00??233
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"MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY" DT #18 "Rusty Runs Away" DANNY ................... DANNY THOMAS MARGARET ................ ~AN HAG~ TERRY ................... SEERRY JACKSON RUSTY ................... RUSTY I~AMER $ TELLA WILSON ........... SERGEANT ................ OFFICER ................. LADDIE9 the dog ......... CORNY SET__~S INT. DANNY'S LIVING ROOM INT. KIDS' BEDROOM INT. POLICE STATION RTH01 007773,.~
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T~C~ AM~]RICAN TOB;ICCJJ CO. PALL MALL FAMOUS CIGARETTES OPEN ON MF~IU~ S~T OF COUPLE DANCING ON ROMANTIC BALCONY SET I IN RHYTHM THEY CONTINUE DANCING CAMERA PANNING WITH THEM THEY COHTI~VJE D~NCING~ C.~MERA MOVING IN CLOSER CAMERA DCLLYS IN TO MCU AS THEY PAUSE. MAN OFFERS GIRL A PALL MALL AND LIGHTS IT FOR HE~ MAN ALSO LIGHTS CIGARETTE AND THEY PUFF WITH RELISH - HOLD UP CIGARETTES AND LOOK AT THEIR GREATER LENGTH DISS TO ANIMATED CIGARETTE SMOKE ARROWS PASSING TK~U~ NAME '~PALL MALL" ABOVE AND SUPER "NINE TOBACO0 3B ITS nl~ BEST FILTER" BENEATH FADE OUT SUPER IN SCENE 6 AND SUPER "T}~ FINEST QUALITY MON~ CAN BUY" FADE OUT surER IN SCENE 7 AND FADE ZN SNORT CIGARETTE BENEATH FALL MALL BOTH CIGARETTES SHRINK IN SIZE~ BUT PALL ~D~LL ~EMAINS LONGER EXTEND PALL MALL AND SNORT CIGAR- ETTE TO ORIGINAL LENGTH8 AND NIGH- LIGHT PALL MALL. SUPER "MOST SUCCESS~I~L" EXTEND SHORT CIGARETTE TO LONG CONTINUE HIO~LTGT~TING PALL MALL° SUPER "MOST IMITATED". DISS TO COUPLE ON BAUCO~f..A MEDIUM SHOT. BOTR ,~RE SMOKING DOLLY IN TO CLOSER SH~T DISS TO ECU OF PACK AND SUPER: OUTSTANDING - AND THEY A[[E MILD:" TV CO~4ERCIAL #99 ONE EII~E (SINGING OFF SCREEN) RODe tsa suggestion you shouldnlt forget! When you ~hoose the right ~rl Choose th~ right cigarette. For those moments of pl~as~e When dancing's been swell - Relax and enjoy yourself - light a FELL MELL ! PEL~ MELt...FELL MELL - smoke and ~ and mAiA~ FELL ANNCEt (V.O.) PELL MELL iS longer~ yes - but g~8~teP length is o~y half %he stoPy. Fine tobacco is its ow~ best filter and NELL MELL tobaccos - - are the finest quality money can buy, And look how PELL MELL ~S g~eat~r length t~avels the smoke furthe~ - - filters the smoke nat~ally~ and makes ~t m~l~, In fact~ yott~ " aDpreei~tion of FELL MELL quality - - has made it ~tmeri~a's mo~t successful - - most imitated cigarette. Choose well~ Smoka FELL MELL[ FELL MELL Famous Ci~aret~e~ - Outstanding . and t~ey a~e ~l~ ,~TMO I OO?~735
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"MAICE RODM FOR DADDY" DT #18 "Ru~ty Runs AWay" INT, LIVING ROOM - DAY TERRy I8 STANDING ON A HASSOCK AS MARGARET ICNE~LS P~NNING UP A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS COSTUME ON F~. T~RY A[~O WEARS A CROWN, DAN~Y HAS A pLAyBooK IN HIS HAND. RUSTY AND LADDIE AItE WATCHING WITH GHEAT INTEREST, TERRy (RECITING) "Bashful and Sneezy and Dopey and Doe and the rest of you Seven DwSrfs, thank you, thank you, you h~ve saved me aEa~ f~o~ my Wicked StepbrOther, the Qt~enf,11 MARGARET Hol~ s~ill while I get you~ skirt pinned on so it won't fall off...or yo~ teacher wonVt k~ow whethe~ youv~e Snow White or Gypsy Rose Lee, RUSTY AND LADDIE CROSS TO DANNY ATX01 00P7736
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2o RUSTY D~ddy~ you promised to take me and Laddie down to the basement ~o We cct~Id Chase mlco, DANNY Look, I~m rehearslng your sister for her first appearance In show buslness -- weTll have to make it some other time. RUSTY M~ybe ~bere won'% be any mlce then° DANNY Son,.,in my short Bpan on thls troubled oi~ earth, I have seen the passlng of the kerosene tromp, the S~anley Steamer, and the nickel beer ~- bu~ therels one thing X1m sure of: ~here'll always be mice, Now leave ~S alone ° RUSTY But -- you made a promlse° DANNY Leave us alone! HE TURNS BACK TO TEARY. RUSTY AND LADDIE SLINK OFF INTO A CORN~. DANNY ( CONTD ) Okay. Now ~he Queen is dressed li~ an old peasan~ woman, and sheBs got the poisoned apple, and ATX0100???3?
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3. DAN!~Y (CONTD) she comes up to you. Lefts soe if you can act frighZened, DANNY READS FROM THE BOOK AS ~ APpROAC~S TE~BY~ 8LIG~LY HUNCHEACKED. DANNY (CONTD) (CRACKED vOIcE) Good morning, Dearle, TERRY CLASPS ~ HAND8 TO ~ T~0AT AND JUMPS, NOT VERY CONVINCINGLY, TERRY Ooooh~ (YELLING) MARGARET YOW~ DANNY Tha~ts It~ The wsy yo~ Mother did I%~ MARGARBT Your MotOr did i~ because three pins went through her finger. MARGARET PUTS HER FINGER TO HER MOUTH. DANNY St~nlslavlsky sald an actress has to suffer. And that goes for hg~ dressmaker too. (a la russian) So suffer! RUSTY I know how to act frightened! O- O- O~ 0- 0-0, HE THROWS HIS HAND UP IN HORROR. NOBODY PAYS ANY ATTENTI~. RT~01 00???38
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DANNY (TO TERRY) Now from the beginning. Here I come. (WITH CRACK~ VOICE) "Good morning, dearie". TERRY PUTS HER HANDS TO l~R T~OAT~ STARTLe. TERRY (YELLS) Ohhh' DANNY (HORMAL VOICE) Wonderful! Helen Hayes couldn't have done it better. T~RRY Timt time Mother stuck me. MARGARET SUCKS }~ FINGER. DANNY If you could get on the stage tonight with these pins, th~s kid would ~in the Academy Award. RUSTY (TO DANNY) You promised we could chase mice. DANNY Rusty, please! Itm gonna get mad in a minute: N~RGARET That's thirty seconds longer than usual. DANNY (TO RUSTY) GO to your own room. If youtre a good boy, I'll have some mice sent in. RTH01 OOPPP39
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DAN~Y (CONTD) (TO TERRY) OMay, now. (5 TOTTERS TOWA?~ HER) ITm the old witch, and I say -- RUSTY £ could bS ~ better witch, RUSTY HUNC}~S HIS BACK AND TOTTERS OVER TO LADDIE. RT~TY ( CONTD ) (CRACKED VOICE) Good morning, dearie. LADDIE RUNS RIGHT OUT OF T~ ROOM. DANNY (TO BUSTY) W111 yoa get out of here? Donlt be such a pest.t MARGARET Ouch~ I've done iS again. S~ PUTS HE~ LITTLE FINGER ~T ~ MOUTH. }~%RGARET (CONTD) (DRAmaTICALLY, TO DANNY) O, sire, I must take leave to anoint my wounds at yon apothecary cabinet. S}~ HOLDS UP ~ FINGER AND WALKS ACROSS T~ ROOM TO T~ B~ROOM DOOR~ DRAMATICALLY. DAN~ You really hurt yourself? ~L%RGARET (STILL DRAMATIC) ITls no~ so dP.ep as a well, nor so wide as a barn, but Itwill serve. Farewell, sweet prince o SHE PUTS H~ ARM ACROSS ~ FACE AND EXITS A LA EAST LYNNE. ATe01 0022?40
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DAN~VI (TO TER?~Y) You see? That's why you're playing the lead and she's flxln~ dresses, Okay, Here we go. (IN CSA~J~C-~5} '~GOod morning, dearie o Don't bs frlghtnned. I?m ]LlSt a Sinple Old peasant woman." (A CRACKED LAUGH) He he ~ he hal RUSTY ~.D~ICI~G) He he ha h~ he' DANNY Qulet~ TERRY (TO D~J~h"/, IN C~CTER) Old woman, w0nI~ you come in and si~ do~?n? DANNY WALKS OVER TO T~ COUCH AND SITS DOWN. BESIDE HIM. DAVY '~o you live here by yourself?" TESRy NO, I cook and keep house for the Seven Dwar~. RUSTY HAs CROSSED TO T}~M, EgS~Y (TO DANNY) Last week you p~omls~d you'd take me and Laddie to the p~rk and buy us ice cream and you didn't do that, ~itherI. 6. T~RRy SITS I:~T HO 100~Z74 ~
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DANNY (ANNCY.:~D) All right.I" I didn?t know wha'~ fl~vor Laddie likgs~ RUSTY You hnow both of us will eat DANNY Terry, pay no attention tu Starving Sam h~re -- go ahead. Rt~TY Why do you make promises if you don't ~sgect to keep lem. TE~qY I fcrgot my llnes. He makes me ne rVOLIS, DAN."~f (TO RUSTY, SORE) See what you've done? You want your sister to go out t,h~re tonight and not Mow her lines, and disgrace m~ in front of all these people? RUSTY THINNS THIS OVEB. RUSTY (FINALLY) That would be nice. DANNY (FJ~%SP~BATED) Why don't you get lost? RUSTY You don't care ahouZ me -- you only care about her. 7, AT~OI 0077?42
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8, DANNY (TO TERRY) LetVs get to where you bi~e into the apple and do t~e dying blt. (CRACKED VOICE) "Loo~, child, I have a beautiful red apple." TERRY TAKES IMAGINARY APPLE, TERRY It is b~autiful' DANt;Y (CRACk~ VOICE) Bite it, bite it. He he ha: TERRY BITES INTO AN IMAGINARY APPLE, REACTG AS TESUGH IT STUCK IN }~ T~OAT~ CLOSES EYeS A~ FALl8 TO ~LOOR. DANNY (STRAIGHT) NO, no, no~ dramatic enough. Her~. watch me, MARGARET ENTERS CAERYING BAND AIDS, PAUSES TO WATCH. DANNY (CONTD) I blte the apple. }~ WHIRLS ~DLY LIKE A DERVISH~ CLUTCHING AT HIS TEROAT FRANTICALLY~ T~N FLOPS TO T}~ FLOOR° MARGARET Whet a horrible way to go: TERRY Daddy, are you all rlgh~? DAN~IY GETS UP FEELS FOR BROKEN BONES. ~ LIMPS A LITTLE. DANNY (TO TERR~) Maybe you'd better dle your way. YouIll llve longero ATe01 0072743
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9, MARGARET (INDICATING BAND-AIDS) If youlre hurt, I brought the whole medical corps along. RUSTY Can I have a bandage? DANNY What for? RUSTY I cut my finger. DANNy LOOKS AT IT. DANET YOU dld not; That's the healthiest flnger IIve ever seen in my life| RUSTY Could I have a bandage on my healthy finger? DANNY All rlght, ell right! ~'Ii give you bandages up to your ears.t HE TAKES T~ BANDAGES FROM MARGARET AND STARTS TO pLASTER THEM ALL OVER RUSTYIS ARM. MARGARET (TO DANNY) Take it easy. He looks llke one of those ads tbat says. "Next time ~aHe the tralnt." DANNY (TO RUSTY) Now go away. The ambulance'll be along In e minute. (TO TERRY) Weld better rehearse your song or weIll R/X01 007?2~
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lO. DANNY ( CONTD ) never get to it. (TO MARGARET) How about making like ths school orchestra? MARGARET Sure, I'll see how far off-key I can get. SHE SITS DOWN AT Th~ PIANO AND STARTS THE INTRODT$CTION TO "WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK". RUSTY EXITS TO HIS B~ROOM. DANNY AND TERRY SING A CHORUS OF T~ SONG TOGET~R. AS THEY START T~ SECONDmCHONUS, RTSTY ENTERS FROM HIS B~- ROOM ~EARE.G OhE OF ~ERRY'S HATS. P~ IS FOLLOg~ BY LADDIE. RUSTY JOINS IN T~ SONG, MIMICING TERNY'S VOICE AND GESTURES. T~%RY (STOPPING) Oh, Daddy, how can I sing wiZh that little pest making fun of me? DANNY (TO RUSTY) Go to your room and stay there,~ And when the baby- sitter comes tonight, I'm going to tell her -- no television for youl MARGARET Now, Danny -- DANNY Margaret, ssay o~t of this. RUSTY Caner I go with you to see Terryls play? ATM01 0072745
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11. DANNY Of course not: It's too late at night. RUSTY I donlt want any baby sitter. DANNY You think it was e~sy to get one whold come? Thsy had to issue a call for volD~tes~s.I Now 8o to your room! RUSTY NO! DANNY (SORE) You heard mel Go to your LADDIE GROWLS AT DANNy. DA~Y (CONTD) (TO L~bDIE) And that goes for you, too: RUSTY (TO LADDIE) Come on. Nobody wants us aro~t~d hare. T~Y EXIT TO BEDROOM. MARGARET HAS STARTED TO WORK ON TERRY'S DRESS AGAIN. DANNY That kid's becomlng a regular monster. What's ~ong with him? MANOARET Itls a rare children's disease known as Jealousy of the llttle sister. RT~01007F?~6
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MARGARET (CONTD) To ~ut it £n your language~ hers trying to get equal billing. TEP~RY Well, Eee whlz, mother, I woUldnlt interfere if be wanted to play Snow ~f~it e. DANNY I would:..oKnow what,s ~TOnE with Rusty? He needs a good spanking. MARGARET Yo~Ire vePy bright, When in doubt, spank lem. THetfs a fine way to build up a feeling of reJeotlon and antagonism toward his father. DANNY What book have you been reading now? ,'Why I knocked Off My 01d Man," by Professor Sigm~h~d Edelweiss, of Heidelberg Penitentiary? MARGARET You esn make Jokes if you llke,. ,and of course if you dldntt, we wo~idnPt eat...but ~ still Ssy you canlt make one child feel neglected while you favor the other° DANNY What do you suggest? A third child% 12. AT~O'I 00???4.?
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13. MARGARET I didnWt say ! felt neglected...No, I suggest you keep your promlse to Rusty you glve hlm a llt~le more attention, thatTs all. Will you try? DANNY All rlghtt honey. ~GARET (piNNING TERRY) Hold still, Terry. DANNY (TO MARGARET) You're rlghg, as ust~l. HE LEANS DOWN SL~DENLY AND KISSES H~. HE SOREAHE WITH PAIN AND CLAPS HIS HAND TO HIS MOUTH. DANNY l've been stabbed! TERRY (ACCUSINGLY) Mother| You had pins in your mouth! HARGARET (A LA RUSSIAN) So let him fuller' SHE TAKES A EAND-AID ANN STARTS TO PUT IT ON DAN~P/'S MOUTH. HE pUSHF_S H~ AWAY. DISSOLVE TO: RTH01 007??'48
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INT. DANNYIS LIVING ROOM - NIGHT DANNY IS SLIPPING 01~ HIS COAT. MARGARET IS PUTTING ON LIPSTICK. DANNY LOOKS AT HIS WATCH. DANNY I wonder what's keeping that baby sitter I hired. MARGARET I donZt know why you had to call an agency when we could get MarJoPie across the hell, DANNY This sitter was very highly recommended. Lots of our friends use her. I donlt want s High School girl taking care of Rusty again. MARGARET She's very dependable. QTH01 00???49
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DANNY Rusty~s getting too smart for her. Forgetting whet heppered last time? He locked her in the bath room and didn't let her out until he polished off a quart of ice cream. TERRY COMES IN DRESSED IN ~ PRINCESS COSTUME. TERRY Hurry, we'll be late. My teacher wants us all there at eight o'clock, We're posing for a picture. MARGARET We~re waiting for the baby sitter, dear. TERRY Daddy, do I look llke a princess? HE CROSSES TO HER AND KISSES HER ~ND. DANNY Any Prince that wouldnMt fall in love with you should be thrown out of the P~ince Is Union| MARGARET And they have a closed shop, you know. DANNY TAKES TERRY IN HIS ARMS AND START8 TO WALTZ WXTH ~. DANNY (SINGING) "So~s day my Prince will co~e.."
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16. TERRY LAUGHS. AS THEY CONTIN[~ TO DANCE~ RUSTY APPEARS IN TP/E DO0.~AY OF T}~ CNIDDNENIS BEDROOM BEHIND T~M, LADDIE IS AT HIS SIDE. RUSTY WATCHES THE DANCE FORLORNLYp [~8EEN BY T:~ OTIS. MARGARET HAS TAKEN }~R P~ACE AT T~ PIANO TO PLAY TEE MUSIC, SHE T00~ DOES }~0T NOTICE RUSTY. AFTER A MOMENTI }~ AND T~ DOG DISAPPEAR INTO THS B~ROOM° T}~ DOOFLBELL RINGS. DANNY (STOPPING T~ DANCE) Must be the sltter| HE CROSSES TO THE DOOR AND OPENS IT TO ADMIT STELLA~ A WOMAN OF ABOUT THIRTY AND A LITTLE ON THE GABRULO~ SIDE. STELLA I'm Stella Wilson, f~om the agency. DANNY Come :Ln! SHE STEPS IN. MARGARET AND TERRY ABE pUTTING ON THEIR COATS. DANNY (I~DICATING MARGARET) Thil is Mrs. !¢illiams -- (LNDICATING TERRY) Our daughter Terry -- STELLA Is she the little angel I1m going %0 sit with? DANNY No. thatls our other llt~le... ([I8 PA~ES FOP. A MOMENT) angel. (HE CALLS) Mus~yt Rusty darling... come here, dear.~ RUSTY COMES OUT OF THE BEDROOM. HE HAS HIS HAT AND COAT ON AND IS L~DING LADDIE ON A LEASH. RUSTY Wet~e all ready, ~TH01 0077751
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17. P~ CROSSES TO T~M. DAIntY Where do you think you're going? RUSTY To the play. T,V~RRy (MORTIFI~) Dad.! None of the other kids will have their bQby brothers there! (TO Rt~TY) This play ~s striotly for ad~/~s,l RUSTY If you're an adult r~m an adult. T~RR¥ You ~ontt hsvs the intelligence to understand half of what it's about| RUSTY I'm intelligent. Who thought of locking Margie,the last baby sitter, in the hathroom? MARGARET Dear, when you're as oi~ as Terry, you can to to the play, too. RUSTY I'll neve~ get as old a~ Terry. She's got too much of s head start. DA!'NY Rus~y, get into your pa~amas,t I've had enough of this nonsense,t This is Stellao She~s going to sit with you tonight. ATHOI 007PP52
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STELLA (TO BUST/) How do you do, my little ma~? BUSTY (TO MmRGARET) Where's Margie? DANNY Miss Wilson is taking care Of you ~0nlght. Don't givs ~z an~ trouble. STEL~ (TO DANNY,DEPKECIATINGLy) T~oubls (TO RL~TY) You wouldn't glv~ me any trouble would yo~? RUSTY (SLYLY) Wouldn't I? STELLA TAKES A BOOK OUT OF pr~ BAG. ST "F~I2~ You and I~ll get along Just ducl~v. I brought this alone to rea~ to you, "Choochoo the Loeomotlve who was a Frsldy eat," BUSTY (TO ~RGARET~ PLEADING) Get me outta this. MARGARET (TO DAN~Y) Dear-- DANNY ~Io' And that's final~ (TO RUS~),You're staying home, and you'Pe go~ng to behave yourself, and if I ~a~ another word out of you I'm going to put you right across my knee : A/H01 00P??53
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19. RUSTY ! promlsed Laddie he could go. DANNY 81g deal| RUSTY He~ll be dlmappolnted, llm not like you. ~ ~_~ my promlses: DANh~f What am I doing, arguing with a child? (TO TERRy AND MARGARET) Come on, letls get going. (~ OPENS T}~ DOOR FOR T~MI TO RUSTY) We do everyth~@ for you and you donrt appreciate it.t RUSTY You dontt love me. DANNY Sure I love you! If I dldnlt lovs you I'd take you and let you stay up till midnight. Tomorrow youtd go to school with circles under you~ eyes and at recess youTd be begglng for some bicarbonate~, go you see, yo1~rre staylng hers becaUSe I lov9 yo~. RUSTY The~ hste me snd take ~ ~itb you, MARGARET (TO DANNY) Maybe -- if he sat on my lap~- 01"~01 OOPF?5~
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20. DA~[Y Absolutely not.I (TO RUSTY) The trouble with you is, you don't Bow how good you've got it.~ Go Ante your room9 get into your paJamasl and doper let me hear another peep out of you, or Irll get myself another boy! TAY~ A STEP TOWARD RUSTY. LADDIE GEOWI~. DAh%~ (TO LADDIE) Quiet~ You can be replaced by a cocker spaniel, you knowl RUSTY (TO DANNY) I hate you: DA~ Okay, then. I hate you. tooZ If things are so ~errible here, go someplace elseT. Find yourself another father and see how you llke it~ Only don't make it any of our friends -- I wouldn't have the heart to do it to themt. (TO MARGARET AND TERRY) Ccms on, let's get out of here -- Humphrey Bogart Williams may be fixing to ~o over the wallT. (TO RUSTY) Good nightI. Send a postcard from the outside.I ~Y~RGARET KNEELS A~ KISSES R'2STY. MARGARET Be a good boy. darling. ~[M01 00?7755
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21. DANNY HESITATES, THEN HE TOO ~EI.S DOWN TO KISS RUSTY. RUSTY PULLS HIS HEAD AWAy. RUSTY KISS Te~ryo DANN~ (STRAIGHTENING bP) OP~y, pal. This is a Tree country. You got the right. (HE CROSSES TO THE DOOR) Thsre's a freight leaving for Chicago in half an hour. Why donr~ yon hop it? DAN~IY OPENS THE DOOR. RUSTY DANNY Give my regards to the Chez Pares: (TO MARGARET) Letls So. A good night's sl~ep will straighten him out, THEY S~ART OUT OY THE DOOR ~IRGAE~T LOOKING BACK OVER SHOULDER, WORRLEDLY. ~TELLA TI~S TO RUSTY. STELLA Well~ That was rsal i~terestlng. Say, where shall I hang my hat and co~t? BUSTY In tha batbmooml DANNY STICEB HIS HE~ ~%CK IN T~ DOOR. DANNY IT [ were yo~, I wculd~rt° }~ CLOSES T}~ DOOR. ST~LA HANGS HER COAT AND I~%T IN T~ CLOSET. 6~)" MO ? OOPPF56
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22. S~ELLA Gee, kid~ he sounds Just llke my old ~n. I p~ty you. Con[ide~t~ally, are you hi~ re~l son er di~ he. wln you in a r~ffl~? RUE: T¥ STELLA When I ~as twelve, I ran a~ay ~rom home~ S~artest ~ove I ove~ m~d~. RUSTY Really? STELLA HAS CROSSED TO T-~ COUCH A~ FLUNG P~RS~F ON IT. STELLA Sure. ~ own boss, T.hatI~ the ~ay I ilk~ i~. W.~t a party I was on last night' Itm dea~. Mind tumning o~ t~he. ~cp llght? RUSTY CROSSES A~.~ TDRNS OFF T~ LIGHTS. ST~LLA Cllmb intc ycu~ pajamas an~ hi~ the ~ck. ~o~ do~ ~eed ~e ~o help you, do you? I~m sleepY° SHE ROLLS OV~ ,L',D TUR.~S ~R F.~CE AGAINST T~ COUCh. SLO~Y, Rb~STY CROSSES TO TbTM DOOR OF HIS BEDROOM. h~ TURNS. RUSTY How old were you ~rh~tl you l"an aw~y? ATe01 O07P75P
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2B. STELLA Twelve. My old ~an s~re WaS broken up about it. He was sorry then. Used to beat ms terrible, you know. RUS~Y I know. STELLA Same deal b~ro'? RUSTY SuI'~. Was he verfl sorry? S TELL% Was he? Came to me. begging me to forgive him. He was crying, too. RUSTY 3ood~ STELLA Good night, kid. I cantt keep my eyes open. See you around. SHE SNUGGLES INT0 T~ COUCH A~D IS DK~D TO TP~ WORLD. BUSTY LOOKS AT BEN A M0~NT~ T}~N TIPTOES INTO HIS ROOM. RTX01 O0777S8
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2~. IMT. CHILDRENIS BI~RO0~I RUSTY CO~ I~o T~ ROON ~ ~N D;~RK}TSSS EXCEPT FOR TH~ MOON T~OUQH T~ WXNDOW. HE TA~ HIS PAJAMAS OUT ~F A DRAWER A~ PUTS TI~M ON T~ ~I). I~DI)~ HAS J~ED UP O~ T~ B~. RI~TY STARTS TO UNBUTTON HIS CLOTI~ THEN STOPS, AND WITH SI~DEN DET~NATIOI~ ~UTTOICS TI~ I~ AOAIN. R~Y (TO LADDIe) I'm gonna run away. LADD~ WHY~ES. ~ii right, wo'll ~o~h run away° ~hat~s you, too° CROSSES TC T}~, CLOSET AND TAKE8 OUT A SMALL BA~ AND STARTS TO FILL IT ~IT}~ FA~U8 ~Y~. HE pU'/8 IN HIS P~JA~S I~IS FOOTB~LL~ ~ T~RATN. I~ TAKES HIS PIG~Y BANK :~hD P~ IT IN FIRST SHAKING IT ~0 ~E IF IT'S ~ORTH TI~ gFFORT. ~ LI~TS UP HIS ~TTR~S AND ~AK~S OI~T A St~PpLY OF LOLLIPOPS WHICH .~ ,%DDS TO T~ ~. I~ CROSSES TO ~ D~SK ~ ~c'~~ ~ PENCIL ~ND PAPEr. HE SCR~BBL~S 80~- THI~G ON IT LABORIOUSLY. I~ CROSSES A~D PUT8 TI~ pApER ON HIS PIIL~', I~ PICXS UP L~LDDIE~S L~SH~ (TO LADDIe) $hb~bh° HE TIPTOES OUT OF THE ROOM WITH T~ DO0. ATe01 007??59
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25. INT. LIltING ~OOM STELLA IS SNGRI~fG SOFTLY ON THE COUCH. RUSTY TIPTOES TOWARD T~ FRONT DOOR. T~N }~ HESITATES AND CROSSES TO THE PIANO. ON IT IS A SMALL FRAMED PICTURE OF MARGARET ~ND ONE OF DA]~NY. HE OPENS ~HE BA~ AND PIE8 MAROARE~I8 PICT~E IN, T}~ HE PUT8 DANNY'S PICTURE IN. HE ~TARTS FOR THE DOOR AGAIN AND 8TOPS. F~ ~F28 DANNY'8 PICTURE OUT AND pUTS ~T BACK ON T~ PIANO. T~ ~ TIPTOES TO THE DOOR WITH T~ DOG AND EXIT~. F~OUT: ATH01 00???60
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THE AMERICAN TOB'~CO CO. PALL MALl FAMOUS C~GARETTES STOCK SHOT OF MARLIN, BATTLES Ln~ FAST PISS TO FULL SHOT OF ~LiN ON PYER~ FISH GIRL WITH CAMERA. START DOLLY I~ DOLLY I~| CLOSER TO MAN AND FISHy AS MAN LIGHTS PALL MALL BE SMOKES ~!ITH PLEASURE DIS~ TO ANIMATED CIGARETTE SMOKE ARROWS PASSING TP~U~ NAME 'IPALL MALL" AEOVE~ AND SUP*ZR "FINE TOBACCO IS ITS O~V BEST FILTER" BENEATH FADE OUT SUPER IN SCENE 5~ AND SUPER "T}~ FINEST ~IVJITY MON]~I CAN BUY" FADE OUT SUPER TN SCE*~IE 6 AND F'~E IN SNORT CIGARETTE B~NE&TH PALL ~'~LL BOTH CISAEETTES SNRT~{ IN SIZE~ BUT PALL .~IL P,!~,~AIN8 LONGER EXTE~ PILT M~LL & S~DST CTOAR- HTTE TO ¢EIGTNAL LENGTHS A~D HIGHLISBT PALL ~LL. SUPER "MOST S[~CEGSF[~" EXTEND SN~RT CIGARETTE TO LONS~ CONTI~,K'E HIGHLIGHTING PALE H,%LL. SUPER "MOST ~,~ITATED". PISS TO CU OF PHOTOGRAPH ALBUM YN ~LNt~ HAND, S~'q~G CH OF P}ICTO TAKEN IN SCENE 2. HIS IL~ND HOLDS SMO~'~NG CYGARETTE. PULL BACK A~D PAN ~.qol t~D TO TWO SHOT OF ~i'~N & WTFE B~I! S~IOKING A~ LOOKING AT ALBOq4 DISS TO ECU OF F¢~[ "NO SUPER: "OUTSTANDING - '.ND THEY ARE M~L~!" TV ~OMMERCIAL #97 ONE MINUTE (SOUND OF WATER AS MARLrN T~.SEES ATEND OF LINE) ANNIE: When the blg fish is hooked... • .,and you finally ~and him - ew d - with the pleasure Smoke lonE~ and /~ and PELL ~LL. PELL MELL is longer, yes - but greater length is o~ly .hslf the , StO~y, Fine tobacco is its own best filter and PELL MELL tobaccos - - ~re the finest quality money can buy. And look how PELL MELL'S gmeate~ !en~th travels the smoke f~t~thsr - - filters the smoke natura~ly~ and makes it mild. In faot~ your appreciation of PELL MELL q~ality - - h~s made it /~erica's most successful - - most imitated clgerette. It'~ your cigarette...fin~'tobaceo blended to a flavor peak.., distinctively PBLL NELL. So reward yourself . with a smooth- zcss~ mildness a~d satlsf~ctio~ no nthcr cigarette can offor ym~. Buy PELL MELL Famous Cigarettcs... ~tstandin~ - and thoy a~c ~! FITR01 OOP??61
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26. LONG SHOT - INTERICR LIVING ROOM - NIGHT BTELLA IS SNORI.NG SOFTLY ON THE COUCH. DOOB OPENS AND DANNY1 M~AROANE~ .~9 TERRY E~ITER. MARGARET Dear. you were wonderful, And She way you sold that songl DANNY Let's face it. Welre raising another Mary Martin, TERRY I can st111 hear the applause, THEB~ IS A MOUNT OF QUIET AND STELI~IrS SNORING COMES THROUOH. MAHGANET That Bust be a erltlo. DANNY SNAPS ON T~ MAIN LIGMTS AND STELLA COMES OUT OF IT. ~TN01 00??F62
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8TELLA Oh, oh! Youlre back ~iready. MARGARET (TOUCE OF IRONX) Sorry we dist~had you, Miss Wilson. STELLA (STANDS UP AND YAWNS) Oh, that's all right. The little rascal really wor~ me out, Reading him sto~ies, playing piggy-back-- I enjoyed it, though. DANNY The poor kid...no ~onder he Qouldnlt go right to sleep...mDst }lave Eorrled him all night, the way he talked to me. MARGARET (STARTING FOE BEDROOM) I~ll see how he is. DANNY (FOLLOWING EER) You know what? Let's wake him UD and tell him all about the play, It'll make him feel like a real big sbmt, to wBhe up at twelve o~clock at night. T~Y ENTER T~ CHILDREN'S BEDROOM. 2?, £TN01 oopPP63
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28, INT. CHILDRENIS BEDROOM AS THEY CROSS I'0 THE Bg. DA}INY RuSty...Rusty boy,..wake up, MARGARET wan~ to tell you all about it, Rusty, DANNY ~ext ~e Iv~e~re ~oln~ ~o t~ke you with /~ se yo~ can -- hE pAUSES AT T}E BED. D,,~iNY Rusty -- HE S~KES THE BED~ VIOLENTLY. DANNY (TO ~IA~GARET) He's not Zhere! FITM01 002??64
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29. SHE SWITCHES ON T~ LIGHT. MARGARET Rusty! DANNY MARGARET He must be arouuud somewhere,v THEY START SEARCHING. TSRRY STAP, TS LOOKING UNDRR T~ MATTRESS. TE~RY Mother, Z think he:s run away. MARGARET Don't be silly' TERRy l~m s'are of i~. His lollipops are gone. ~HEY TURN B~CX TDT#ARD TP~ BED. MARGARET (POINTING) ~here's a not~.~ IT HAS BEEN REVE&LES WK~N THE PILLOW ROLLED OFF AS TERRy LIFTED THE MATTRESS, TEP~Y PICKS IT UP. TERRy It's his prlntlng. MARGARET SNATCHES IT FROM ~R. MARGARET (READING Dear Mommy and (SP~ HAS DIFFICULTY READING) Da~dy. (TO DANNY) Daddy is crossed out. (R~ADING)"I have ?unned away with Laddie for the pest of my llfe. (SHE THE~8 pA~E} Will not be back for suppeP. Love. Rusty," ATe0100PP?65
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DAi~f STARTS FOR THE LIVE~G ROOM. DA~Y Let'S get to the phone--qulck! THE 0T~ERS FOLLOW H~4 INTO T}~ LIVING RooM. 30. ATH01 OO~?766
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31. INT. LIVING ROOM STELLA HAS BEEN STAhDING AT TP~ DOOR~ LISTENING. DANNY Call his frlends.I C811 his ~nemles.z Call eyerybody: TERRY PICKS UP PHONE AND STARTS DIALLING. $TELLA May I make a suggestion? THEy LOOK AT HER. STELLA Why get so excited? Therets nothlnN to worry about. How far can a little kid get when it's cold enough out to freeze a dog? MARGARET May ! make a suggestion? RT~01 00???6?
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32. SHE OPENS CLOSET GRABS STELLAIS HAT AND COAT AND PRACTI- CALLY THE0~ THEM AT HZ~. STELLA Well, if thetis yottT attltudet pay me 8nd YVll leave, You owe m~ three dollars for three hours of baby sitting and fifteen minutos overtime while you were looking for the kid. DANNY TAKE~ SOME CHANGE OCT OF HIS POCEET AND THEOWS IT TO ~R. DAVY HAre, Steila.~ I can:t %E:derstand how you ~ct those recommendations| ETELLA Oh, I:m not Stella, She couldnlt make it tonight so I told her I'd pick up soma easy money. Believe me, I wouldnTt have taken it if IVd known the Job was so tough. D ANh~Z It~ll be a lot tougher if you don't set out of herel, STELI~% What are you yelling at me foP? YOU and your, "Get yourself another father,t Therels a freight lsavlng for Chicago in .half an hour'" I donlt blame the poor kid fcr taklng it on the lam. You drove him righ$ outta the house, just llke my old man.~ RTH01 00???68
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MARGARET My husband did not drive our son from She ho'~se. Now go.I STELLA ~UGS~ AND EXITS. MARGARET SHUTS T~ DOOR. DANNY Thatrs telling her, Margaret, MARGARET W~v d~d yDu drive him out of tha house? DANNY What? MARGARET Promise Breahar - I told you yo~ ~,ere ~aklng him feel rejected. TF~RY (HANGS ~P PHONE) He's not at any of h~-s ~riends. MARGARET TA~8 P.~DNE OUT OF TER~Y'S HA~D. DANq~Y (FPJ~NTIC) Marga~et~ do something ple~seo MARGARET DIALS. Who are you calling? MARGARET (ON PND~) police. Operator, give m~ the DANNY The police, that's ~ight. You took the words right Out of my mouth~ Call the police| 33. ATH01 OOPPP69
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MARGARET You and your "get yot~rself a~o~her father," DANNY Just bring him back. Itll get lost if-he wants me to. MARGARET (ON pHONE) This is Mrs. Danny Williams. I want to report a lost child. He~s six years old, blonde curly heir, blue eyes...and ha's got a couple of front teeth missing...and...Whet? Thank God.l (TO DANNY) Hels there,t DANNY GRABS THE pHONE FROM P~R. DANNY (INTO PHONE) Thank you.l Thank you,2 I'll be right down| Try to hang on to him: DANNY HANGS UP THE PHONE. MARG~ET They're not positive Itts Rusty. The child wonlt give his name. DAN~f Thatls him, all right. My hat, my coat. Where are they? .HE RUNS ABOL~D IN CIRCLES, NEARLY TRIPS OVER T}~ RUG ETC. FINALLY F~ STRUGGLES INT0 HIS COAT~ HAVING TROUBLE FIND- ING THE ARMS. Ifll bring him right hack. Call up and order six quarts of ice cream. Bake a cake~ ATe01 OOPPPPO
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F~HGARET Danny, youlve got to calm down, YouTll never ma~ lid DANNY I'm calm, Itm calm! HE O£ENS DOOR AND R~S INTO T~ CLOSET. 8omebody moved the front door' HE RUNS OUT AS WE: 3~° DISSOLVE TO: ATH01 007,"?71
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36. INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT RUSTy IS WEARING A ~OLICE O~FICER'S CAP AND IS LICKING AN ICE CREAM CO~E AS CAmeRA PULLS BACK TO SHe,,4 STATION. HE IS SEATED ON TOP OF T~ SERGEANT'S DESK WITH LADDIE AT HIS SIDE, RE IS EATING A cONE IN HIS EIGHT HA~D, AND WITH HIS LEFT ~ IS HOLDING OUT A SECOND CONE TO LADDIE. A SERGEAET AND A PATEOI24AN STAND ~N FRONT OF HIM. RUSTY If I tell you ~ name, will you ta!~e ,~,e home ~Ight a~ay? SE~GE~(T O~' course! RUSTY Then I do~mt reme~be~ it. HE TAI[ES A HUGE BITE OUT 0E THE ICE CREAM CONE. OFFICER 18 it Willi~ms? R~STY I don't remember, 8TNO'I 00?7772
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SERGEANT Can you tell us the name of one of your friends, so ~e could ask them? RUSTY Sure, q"~E SERGEANT AND OFFICER SHAKE HANDS. SERGEANT What's the name of your friend? RUSTY (FO~I~O TO W~ DO0) Laddie. SERGEANT I ~ean somebody human! RUST~ He's more human than ny daddy. He keeps hi~ promls~s. OFFICER You have got a Daddy: then? RUS~ Oh, sure. But he hates me... Said get lost. T~%en :~e told me to run ~way. COPS EXCHANGE GLANCES. SERGEANT Your father told you t) ~un away? RUSTY ANd hop a f~ei~ht to Chloa~o. 37- RTXO? 00????3
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38. OFFICER (~ L~UGHS, INDU~TLY) NOWj son, yo~ ~OW he was only fooling. RUSTY (~ SHAKES HIS ~AD; ~gE~, JUST LIKE STE~A) Used to beat me terrlble. Every night. SERGEANT Every night i RUSTY Sometimes~ when he was tireda he Just kicked me. OFFICER Nowj wait a minute, son .... RUSTY If you donlt believe me, look. HE PULLS UP HIS SLEEVE AND 3HOWS ~ ROW OF BA~AIDS DANNY PUT ON IT, EARL~'R. T~ TWO POLICE~4EN LOOK AT EACH O~R. OFFICER Danny Williams? I canlt believe it. SERGEANT (TO RUS~) Look, son---you take your dog in the b~ck room and ~eet some of the other boys. RUSTY I donlt want to. ATe01 0077 ?
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39. OFFICER Theyil! buy you so~,~ more ice Cx'eam. LADDIE IS THE FIRST ONE OFF THE DESK ON THIS. RUSTY FOLLOWS. RUSTY Okay, Gee, $$~s fun being a~rested. T~E SERGEANT OPENS T~ DOOR AND EUS~ ~qD LAdlE EXIT TO ~ BACK ROOM. T~ Q~ERGEANT ~;RNS BACK TO T~ OFFI- CER. SERGEANT Fathers ! ! They forget kids have feelings, MUSt have said something that meaily tore the kid apart. OFEIC~ What do you think we can do? SERGEANT Throw a scare into the old man. By the tlnle he ~lalks out of he~e, he should be ready to buy that kid ice :ream For a month. OFFICER Tw_~o months. Let's give him the full treatment. T}~ DOOR OFENS AND DA~ COMES RUS~ IN, DANNY Where is he? Wherels my little boy? AT~O1 00??7?5
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SERGEANT (SOF~Y) Just a minute, si~. Can we be of help3 slr? DANNY My boy - my Rusty -- what have you done with him? OFFICER (SOFTLY) Can yea describe this bo~., 81~? DANNY Well, he's about so high--- (~ n~DICA~S ) ar~6 his eyes - they,re blue .... (}5~ RESI~ATES) Wait a ~InU~e - -maybe they i re hrow~, o o, SERGEANT Ame ~tou sure Nout~e this childls father? DAkrNY Now ~iKit a mlnL~te .... SERGEANT Just doing my Job, sir. DA~mY O~~ course I~m his gather! Irm Danny Williams ! OFPICER Danny who, slr? ~0. RTX01 00?2??6
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DANNY Danny Williams| The comedian! Why, I've played a dozen bsneflt8 for the Policemon's Ball~ Haven't you seen me there? SERGEANT I Just sell the tickets, sir. I ~ever go. OFFICER I go, SERGEANT Have you any proof you're Danny Williams? DANNY Pmoof? (ER FEELS) Well, l-- I've left my wallet in my other pants.... SERGEANT A likely story, sir. OFFICER How do we know youlre no~ Just some guy off the street try~K to kidnap this little kid .... DANNY I told you! llm Danny Wllllams~ The comedian! SERGEANT (SO~LY) Make US laugh, siP. 41. AT>(01 O07?F?7
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DANNY what? OPFIC~ ~f youl~e a comedlan ..make us laugh, sir. DANNY Thla is eill~. BERGE~WT We're Just servants of the people, ai~. Dolng OU~ duty, OFFICER Ir You're Davy Williams what Jokes did you tell at the last Pollcemen ~s Beneflt? DANNY Okay.°.I'll eho~ you who I am,,,, RE LAUNC}~S INTO A COUPLE OF MONOLOGUE JoKEs. 2ODICEMEN DONrT CRACK A SMILE. DANNY IS WORKING HARDER AND HARDER o F~ ~S STARTING TO PERSPIRE. FINALLY, }~ STOPS. SERGEANT (TO OFFICER) what do you think? OFFICER (SHAKING BIS READ) Couldn't be. How could l~e earn a living? SERGEANT Looks a lot llke Loule, the guy ~ho stuck up that gas statlon and shot hlS mothe~-In~aw In ~be ~l%ey° THE AT:~O 1 OOPPPP8
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THE OFFICEB SHAKES HIS ~AD. OFFICER No. Loule's much betteY looklng. THE DOOR OPENS AND RUSTY ENTERS WITH LADDIE. IS EATING ANOTHER ICE 0B~AM CONE. DANNY RUSHES TO HIM. DANNY Rusty! Son, RUSTY HIDES BEHIND THE OFFICER. 8ERGFANT (TO RUSTY) Zs thIB you~ father? RUSTY LOOKS AT DANNY. RUSTY NO. What? DANNY RUSTY Never saw him before in my life! DANNY Rusty, I ~¢now you1~e mzd at me, but I Just had a tough time with these policemen----tell them I'm your father' RUSTY yo~1~e zot! yo~Ire not, COPS LOOK AT ~2ACH OT~ AGA;/~. SERGEANT wait a mlnute--what is this? RUSTY RTH01 00????9
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DANNY (TO POLT-CEMEN) Mou ~ow this Is ridiculous# donlt you? This boy is my Bon - and this dog - thSs dog is my dog. (HE BENDS DOWN) Come he~e, Laddie boy! LADDIE GROWLS AND LUNGES ~OR DANNY0 A~D CHASES H~ UP ONTO THE SERGEAnt'S DESKs BARK~G. DANNY (CONT 'O) All Dight, wi~e Suy~ Just wait until you want to liak up the Kravy on my plate~ Go awayI. Go a~ay! (TO RUSTY) Rusty, call him offT, RUSTY (TO LADDIE) C'~ere, Laddie. LADDIE I~EDIATEL¥ STOPS BARKING AND CROSSES TO RUSTY° DANNY (TO POLICE) See? He did Just v~hat I told himI, 8ERQEANT The dos? DAI/NY No~ the boy --- that's K mush tougher Job{ HE CLIMBS DOWN FEOMTHE DESK. DANNY (TO EUS~) Now tsll them I'm your father, f~T :,iO I 00??780
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RU3~ If youlre ,~ father, ~tls teacher I S ~ame? DA~ You~ teacher? (~ I8 S~¢K) Oh.~•°°ye&hj your teacher. (TO POLICEI~N) I aiways have & little trouble - it's one o~ those long, difficult names .... RUSTY It's MtB8 Smith. Tb~tss ltj Smith, Lon~ Difficult Smith, they ¢~11 he~. SERGEANT. ~f Bon18 te&ohe~Ts n~me l~ M~88 Schnieke~&user. Hepzibah Werblse~k Schnicke~&user° Never forget it, DA~ ~{ROWS HIM A LOOK. DANNY Neither would I. RUSTY (TO DANNY) Ho~ many AIs did I get on m~ l~t ~eport c&~d? DANNY Wh&t? Well..°let me see.°.f&ve? (RUS~ SHAKES HIS ~D) ~ree? (RUS~ SHAKES HIS HEAD) Two? RT~01 OOPPPB1
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None! NUSTY ~6 DANNY Wella I was gettin~ there. (~ STARTS TO CROSS TO HIM) Rusty .... RUSTY (STEPP~!G BACK FROM H~4) When's my birthday? DANNY There I've ~ot you! ~tlS.o., Itls.o,, }~ LOOKS T~OUGR HIS POCKETS. DANNY (CONT'D} Left my address book home. SERGEANT ~_~ son was born February Sixth, nlneteen-foPty-slx at two-thirteen A.Mo RUSTY Now ~ a father! DANNY LOOKS AT HIM. ~ DECIDES TO TRY ANOT~R TACK. DANNY Well3 I guess you're Tight. Youlre not my son. If I wer~ really your ~athe~, ~'d be Interested enough to know all those things. But youlve taught me something. If I ever have a little boy, ~ ~ant him to ATe01 0OP,~282
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DANNY (CONT'D) be ,~ust like ~ou. And lld never neglecZ him for his siste~...and Ild always keep my promises to hlm....and Ild always love him vemy much. l~m sorx-J llve caused you all this t~ouble. (TO POL~CE~N) SO long, 0ffloe~s. (TO RUS~) So long, Iittle boy. TURNS TO START OUT. SERGEANT Just a minute, s~. DANNY TURNS. SERGEANT (CONT'D) (TO OFFICER) Did you get that confession down? OFFICER Yes, sir. Welve got him on a 902. DANNY What? SERGEANT Impersonating a father. Serious charge, OFFICER Ten yearB in 8olita~y. SERGEANT On bread and water. (~o~) RTX01 0077P83
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SRRGEANT (CONT'D) (TO DANNY) In faat, sir, I donlt like you~ attitude. The Judge is a friend of mine. I think I can have you hung. OFFICER (TO DAN~Y ) Nothing personal# Sir. Just doing our duty, sir. SERGEANT Wo~Id tomor~o~ morninE be convenient for the hangir~ sir? RUST~' No, no! (HE RUSHES TO DANNY) He is ~v father! He is! I don't want you to hang him. DANNY PICKS H~,I UP IN HIS ARMS. RUSTY (CONTID) Just throw him in Jail for a SERGEANT I don't think we'll even |mve to do that. I think he'll go straight from now on. DANNY I sure will, Officer. HE STARTS FOR TRN DOOR, INO. ~g. Th~nks . ~N TURNS. T[~ DOG IS WAIT- AYH01 002728~
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DA~WY (CO~T'D) Come on, Laddie. COMe on ho~c. fill glve you a whole can of doe food. RUSTY He likes ice c~eam now~. DANNY A hot fudge ~undae with nuts on, I p~omlse Ib~ Come on! THE DOG STARTS AFTER }IIM, THEY EXIT. FADE OUT! ~9, ATX01 OOF~P85
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50. TA_~S FADE ~N : INT. LIV~G ROOM - DAY RUST~ IS SEATED IN THE CHAIR, EATING AN ICE CREAM 00NE, WHILE LADDIE IS EATING A HUQE pLATE OF ICE CREAM IN THE CORNER ~EA~ T.~ XITC~N DOOR. D~ IS WA~N~ DOG. TERRY IS LOOK~G T~OUGH SO~ PHONOGRAPH RECORDS. RUSTY (TO DAhq~) Soon as I finish thlss !~e'll go down to the basement. DAh~ After all this plstachlo~ how we gonna get Laddie Interested in chasing mice a~aln? RUSTY Then let's ~o to the park, MARGARET ENTERS WITH RUSTYIS COAT. ATX01 00772B6
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THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW De #e5A (55) "~AKE ROOM FOR DADDY" Subtitle: "The piano Teaeher"~ ~ -/'~ wlqI T'~N BY MAC BENOFF ATH01 007'?787'
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"MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY" ~T #25A (55) Subtitle: "The Piano Teacher" CAS..._~T DANNY.,,.,,, ,, ~ o,.., o, o,,DANNY THOMAS MARGARET,..,.,., ....... . oJEAN HAGEN TERRy.,°,.,.,,,, ....... , ,8}~RRY J~CKSON RUSTY... H, o. o.,,. ,,, °., oRUSTY HAMER nou~e.t B,o,o ¢, # i,°@oelo M~. DI ANGRLO..,,o,..,,.o ssT__s INT. KITCHEN YNT° LIVING ROOM INT. MR, DI ANGELO'S LIVING ROOM ATM01 00???88
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"MA~ ROOM FOR DADDY" DT #~5~ (55) Subtitle: "The Piano Teaoher" FADE IN: INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY LOUISE IS WATCHING TERRy AND FfJSTY BANGING ON T~ PIANO, LOUISE HOW long did you say you've been taking pisno lessons? RUSTY Six monbhB~ LOUISE Sounds more like slx minutes, TERRy Well, Mr. DiAngelo says it doesn't n~tter Mow well you play as lons as you have fun st the piano, F~ T,,~O 1 0022F£~9
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~e LOUISE In tha~ ca~ej 8fiep OU~ of the Way and let a gal have fun who knows how to have f~, LOUISE DOE8 N~ER° AT T~ OONCLUSZON, THE OHILDREN AppLAUD. RUSTY Oh, boFj let me tr~ it. RUSTY DOES IMITATION OF LOUISE, MARGA~T ENTERS FROM KITCHEN° MARGARET H~y, what a~e you dolng? Your f~therls tr~ing to Bleep, Louisej shame on you~ yo~ know ~° Will~sms works late, THEY A~ TIPTOE OUT TO THE KITQHER° AS THE DOOR CLOSES ON THEM, DANNy ENTERS FROM ~STER ~DROOM, HE ZS SLEEPY-EYED AND GROPES HIS WAY TO THE COR~ER CAB- ZNET° HE TA~S A HAMMER AND NAZL FROM THE DRAWER AND N~ILS THE ~ZAN0 ~D SHUT. THEN ~ RETURNS TO HIS R00~;. DISSOLVE TO: 81"R01 OOPP?~O
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INT. KITCHEN - DAy TERRY, RUSTY AND MARGARET ~F~ SEATED AT TABLE° LOUI$~ IS NEA RB'~ ° MARGARET All :~ight, Rustya what do ~ou wan~ for brea~£ast ~I~ mo~In~? ~USTY Waffle~, LOUISE Waffles ageln.' Every morning waffles° You had waffles yesterda~ morning, waffles day before ~b~ w~f£1es before tha~, ThatI6 all you eve~ est 1~ waf~168~ waffle~ wa f~les ° R~STY IIm ~ ~owln~ boy, ~r~01 0077791
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LOUISE At the ~ate yout~e ~olngj yo~Ire gon~a grow into a waffle... whatill you haves T~rz-j? TERRY The usual. pleasee fill have the same, Louise. LOUISE No. ITd ratheP be a Waffle than a ohloken.T LOUYSE Oksy. MARGAEET Yout re going to be a deed fish if your scsles donlt ImpPove. Ge~ it? Fish, scal~s, piano -- Itls a Joke, you little -- RUSTY AND %~RRY JUST LOOK AT EACH OTMER. ~RG~RET Anyway, yo~ Just bstter praetlce your scales. RUSTY P~actisee prectlce, practice... if this keeps up, XIII grow into a pianO. 4, RT~01 00???92
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LOUlSE With the eholces youtve had this morning, l~d grab that. MARGARET Youfve got to praotloe. Youlme going to play for Daddy today. I want to sunrise him wlth the way you tWO play the piano. RUSTY Ird Pather play the tmombone. LOUlS~ The way you play th@ pi~LnO, it don~t make m~ch difference. DANNY ENTeRS. DANNY What w~s all that racket? I work till three o'clock la the mornlng~ getting heckled by Customers and come home to try and get some sleep and get heckled by my ow~ family. What was all that racMet? LOUISE Well, the children have to praetlee if th~ylre going to learn to play Mr. Rachmanineff~s etudes, DANNY you show me in any one of Mr. Raohmanlnoff~s e~udes where ~t says "Shake, Rattle and Roll, 5. Flr ~o 1 oo??P93
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LOUISE If you're through playlng Amos ~nd Andyj you can slt down and bare your b~eak~ast°.° I p~epared your speci~1 favorlte and I got it ~ght and ready for you -- waffles. RUSTY Those are my waffles° MARGARET Rusty| DANNY How do you like that? Not only do my children wske me up In the mornlng but they take the wa££1ee right out of my mouth. Fine respect they've got for their father. They don't even k~ow IIm &11ve° RUSTY SometlmeB you sleep so much St~s ha~d to tell. DANNY The way you ban~ o~ ~he piano~ you could w~ke the d~ado TREY ALL 8TART YELLING AT T~ SA~ TIME. IDUISE They've got to p~aotice because Mr. DIAn~lo is ~omi~ today. 6v FITH01 00??7'94-
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7a TERRY Mr. DiAngelo says we hsve to keep pvaetlclng, otherwise wet11 never learn, DANNY DO you have to prsotice so loud? RUSTY Make up your m~nd. Do you want me $D p~ao%lee or donlt ~0~ MARGARET (RAISING HER VOICE) NOW, everybody listen to melee. ( SUDDENLY ITIS VERY QUIET. EVEN MARGA~T~S SURFRISED.,6 PLEASED) Well... (VERY POISED) Children, kiss Daddy. BOTH Yes, Mommy. (KISS) MARGARET Dsddy, kiss children, DANNY Yes, Mommy. MARGARET NOW~ Louisej S~rv~, LOU~S~ Y~S3 Mo~y -" ~ meB~ malam, (SHE SOES ABOUT SERVING) Br;~01 OOP?P95
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MARGA~T Now, let*s sit down and discuss this whole thing peaceful-llke. (TO DANNY) AS you probablJ ~ememher3 slnoe you pe~ the bills, slx month~ ego Terry and Rusty began to teke pIBno lessons from Mr. DIAneelOo DANNY Whets he? TERRY Our pieno teacher° RUSTY We love him. DANNY (SAROASTIC) That's Rice. You love him. MARGARET Anyway, I talked it over w~th Mr. DIAngelo and we decide~ today would be Ds good a time as any to let them pley for you. D~NNY (SAROASTICALL¥ ABOUT ALL THIS) Ohj 8 Concert, MARGARET C~ll it ~h~to Ye~, a oonce~h. frill be ~s ~mportant to them as ~n openlng nIEht° About three o'clQckj if It's ~ll ~IKht with yo~. 8, AT~01 00P7796
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DANNY DO [ have a oholoe? MAEQARET No: DANNY In that ~asej 11~I be V~y happy to meet this g~eat oonc~rt maste~, Maestro D~nEelo, MARGARET Donlt be so sarcastic, DANNY I1m not, I1m JUSt 8nxlouB to see wh~t my moneyl5 go~ng ou~ c~nce~ by Terry and Eust~ Williams° LOUISE Rublnsteln and Helfitz. DANNY Heifltz is a f~ddler. LOUISE you ev~ hear Rusty play piano? D~NNY NO, LOUISE Rubinstein and Helfltz. It's 8 Joke, you -- you bette~ ~o back to bed, DISSOL~ TO: ~o FITHO 1 00???9?
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iO. INT. LIVINO ROOM RUSTY AND TEF~¥ AF~BANGING ON PIANO, MARGABET IS SBATSD6 MR~ DIANGELO IS STANDING NEAR PIANO. DIANGELO Thatls rIEht~ ohildren3 hays fun, Th~tts what music is fops ~0 give pleasure. SO Just have fun, DANNY ENTERS FROM BEDROOM, SI~PY-EYED. DAN~ D~t out that noise. HOW did yOU get that thing open? Looks like ITII have to buy biEgeP nails. MARGARET Danny, youlre Just in time for the sonoert. I want you to meet M~. DIAngelo, the Ohildren'B piano teacher. F~'r ~01 00?7798
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DANNY To play llke that; they need a teaohe~9 MARGAP~T Pay no ~ttent~on to him, M~° DiAnge~o, ~e may basle a ~o~ but he wontt bite. DIANQELO I'm very happy to meet youj M~° Willlams. I1ve been ~ook~n~ forward to meeting th~ father of ~wo such wonderful Ghildreno DANNY HOW do yo~ do. TERRY Gees M2. DIA~g~los ~Im sure he,rOUSe RUSTY I'm nervouser tha~ ~he IB. D~ANO~LO Yo~r fSrst publlo appearance .- you~ debut~ Any great artlst would fe~l thls way° TERRY I~m ~ust afraid all that beautlfu~ music you taught me will eom~ out all sour, if° ATe01 00,~P799
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12o DIANGELO (TO RUSTY) And you, signor Muslolen3 why are yo~ nervous? RUSTY I Just lost a button off my pants, MAROAHET Rusty~ RUSTY Well, I did. MARGARET All ri~ht~ " DIANGELO And now~ ladleB and ~entle~en, it H$ves me great pleasure to Introduce you for thelr first Qoncert enHa~ta those r~nowned vlrtuosl, Miss Terry W1111ams and Mr. Rusty W1111ams. Ta tata. First we ~onna hea~ from SiHno~ Rusty Wi111ams. RUSTY I will now play --- (~ FORGETS) What am I Holn~ to play? DIANGELO Exerclse Numbe~ 3* BUSTY Oh yesj Exerelse Number ~. HE PROCEEDS TO F~4BLE AROUND DW T}~ F~RCISE PI~¥1NO A ~HORT THING TBROUGH AS MRe DIANGELO COAC}~° ATe(01 00~7800
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DIANGELO (OVER PIANO) What's the matter, you dontt like do? All rig~Lt, we donlt play that any mor~, Just hit the notes you llke~ Evez-jbody going to be happy. Let's go b~ekwards. (BE APPLAUDS AND IS FOLLOWED BY MARGARET AND ~ERRY) Well, Mr. WilliamB, how it sounds? DANNY You or the piano? MARGARET Danny~ DANNY As for that other nolse that was going o~ if thatts musio, IT11 eat n~v bat° MARGARET Well, Illl ge~ you 8 knife and fork. DIANGELO Pleasej Mr. Williamst donlt forget is just a little boy. I think you did beautiful, Rusty. Beautiful. YOU Improving all the time. DANNY Improving? You mesh he played worse than thst? 13. R"£ XO 1 0077801
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MARGARET I doni$ see why we should oontlnue, DIANGELO YOU know he~s not good. I know bels no good but he doesnlt l~qow hers no good, What;u the dlfferencew heJ8 2~appy, First we have to build up his confldonce, DANNY While youl~e building up hi8 oonfldenoe youlre building up your ovr~ bankroll, DIA~GELO Exouse me? MARGARET Pay no attentions Mr. DiAngelo. I told you his bark is worse than his bite, Undernesth it all hs's ~ea~y a sent~mental2s~, DIANGELO Why, Sure, Anybody who could d~Ive a hall into 8 Stelnwsy plano, he's got to be a senblmenta~ist. MARGAEET 0o 8he~d, Te~ry, Itls your tuz~l, TERRY I will now play Exercise NUmber Six, 14. A T~O'~ 007P802
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15. DIANGEL0 She is 8drafted pupil, TERRy NOW STARTS TO pLA~. AND SP~ PLAYS PADI~RINGLY, DUE TO NERVOUSNESS AND BECAUSE SNEIS JUST A GIRL PLAYING TRE PIANO FOR A FEW MONTHS, NOT A GENIUS, ALL AppLAUD ENTHUSIASTISALLY. DANNY JUST SITS THERE. DIANGESO (ENTHUSIASTICALLY TO DANNY) In a few year~ shets senna play in Carnegie Hall, DANNY (BLOWING UP) Carnegie Hall| Listen, they've both lucky they're not baz~ed from the country. MARGARET Danny, sit down. How oln you behave that way? DANNY I'ii tell you how. It'~ my money tha~s making this horrible music possible.., don,t you ~ealize you've being taken £or a ride? Some piano teacher: Six mo~ths and they can't play on the white keys and they cantt pla~ on the black, hels Kot 'em playing in the cracks,~ Ca~negle Hell, mY eye : ATe0100P?B03
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DIANGELO I don't llke thls kind of talk, DANNY You bet you don't. Margaret, don't you see it? He keeps telling you how great they're ~onna be sa he can keep on giving them lessons. He's playlng you fo~ 8 sucker. MARGARET Dan~y, llm ashamed Of you. RUSTY Me, too. DANNY you be qulet~ DIANGEL0 It happens I teach other children, and these two are doing ver~ well. MARGARET Thank you, Mr. DIAngelo. DANNY Ican'$ believe it. DIANGELO They make besutiful music. Am I right, children? TERRY Right. 16. A I":~01 00,~7804
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17. RUSTY (TO DANNY) I'm ashamed of you~ DANNY (RESTRAINING HIMSELF) Ashmmed of me? (INDICATING DIANGELO) What about this guy who~s been taking my money for six months and hasn't even got you playlng Chopstlcks yet? I bet he oan lt even play the piano himself. A Dbony, that's what he is~ TERRY He can, too. He once played in Carnegie Hall himself~ RUSTY ~how him, Mr. DIAngelOo GO ahead~ MR. DIANGELOMAEES AN INVOLUNTARY MOVE ~¢ TRE PIANO° DANNY Yeah, show me. GO aheadj I dare you. MR. DIANGELO NOW PAUSES A MOMENT AND SOMETHING S~MS TO GO OUT OF HIM. DIANGELO I play too good. It makes the children look bsd by comparison° DANNY Oh no. That's the best excuse yet. Mar~sret, do I have to say anything more? (TREF~IS A PAUSE) Cernegle Hail| RTMOI OOP?80~
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DIANGELO No, ~h-° Williams, you don't have t~ say any more, (RUSRIRG OUT) You a~e rIEht. I cannot play. I don't oome here ~n¥ mo~e. YOU will save a lot OC money. (HE EXITS) DANNY Come on, IIll teaoh you how to play the piano. (~ PLAYS SCALES) Rusty, you try It~ THEY ALL JUST LOOK AT HIM. RUSTY I'm ashamed of you, RUSTY EXITS TO BEDROOM. TERRY Dlt~o~ SHE EXITS. MARGARET Double dltto~ M~RGARET EXITS DISSOL~E TO: za. RT~01 00??806
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INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT DANNY, MARGARET AND THE OHILDHEN ~N~R FROM KIT~4EN. DANNY That WaS a wonderful d~nne~. DidnI~ you ~h~nk I~ w~8 a wonderful dSnner, ~ust~? (NO ~MSWER) H~w about you~ Te~ry? MAHdARET AND T}~ CHILDREN JUBT LOOK AT HIMo DANNY Al~ rIEht, do you wan~ m~ ~o BDend my entlre li~e ~n so~Itazv~ ¢o~flnement~ MA~OA~HT That would be ~e~ng yau Off too eaSyo If I ha~ m~ way, wetd have a h~Ing~ ATN01 002?807
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20. DANNY What dld I do thst was so w~ong? MARGARET Children, Will you excuse us? TERRy Yes, Mother. (SHE EXZTS) MARGARET Rusty? RUSTy Not me, ~ want to see the flrew~rk$o MARGARET SCOOTS HIM OUT OF T}~ ROOM. MARGA~T Now what do you have to Bay for y~urself? DANNY L~stenj Margaret, weI~e in show b~slness° We donlt fool ourselves and thatls the way Itls got to be with our kids. They 81ther have talent o~ they havenlt. If Itts o~ thing we understand It'~ b~Ing professional. MARGARET W~llt you certainly acted llke an smateur. How could you talk that w~y to Mr. DIAngelo. We know that when youlre fl~ing around the c~illng ail we have to do is wait till you come do~. But he dossn't know you~ moodB. F~TX01 OOP?80~
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DANNY I guess I WaS rough, wssn't X? MARGARET Unf orglveably rough • DANNY All right~ so l!ll 89olo~ize. MARGARET There1~ no point in apologizin~ to me~ ~r, DiADgelo was the o~e your hurt. DANNY So I'~2 aplogAze ~o hlm. ~'~ ~o to his house and say~ "Mr. DiAngelo, I'm sorry you know no~hing about ~he p~ano4" lJll do it flr~t thing ~ the mo~ning° MARGARET F~s~ thing in the morning, nothing.~ ¥outre golng right now. DANNY But I'm sleepy~ MARGA~T I am ~Oto DANNY No~ ~he teenle~t? MARGAKET Not ~he teeniest. DANNY Not the t~enle~ weenleBt? 8TH01 O077B09
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~ARG~ NO~ ~he teeniest wee~AeB~s teenies$ weenisst~ DANNY I'm ~oln~ to be~, HOW about you? MAROAP~T I don't ~hink th~refs a~y oh~oe of ~y ge~t~n~ ~he leas~ bi~ drowsy untll youlve spologized to Mr~ DiAn~elo. DANNY Ah~ hone~! (PUTS ON HAT AND COAT) Don't get sleepy before I ~e~ back° HE EXI~So DISSOLVE "20: ~T~01 0077810
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~3. INT. MR, DIANGELOtS LIVING ROOM A LARGE GRAND PIA~qO TAKES UP MOST OF THE ROOM~ PLUS BOUND TABLE WITH A BOWL OF ~RUIT AND NUTS, THE DOORBELL RINGS AND DIANGELO GOES TO GET IT, DANNY ELNTKRS. (~WKWA~D) I come in? DANNY Uh... hello. May DIANOELO O~ ooupseo., please sit down; have something to est° Some wine, perhaps? DANNY I dldn~t expect this kind o£ re~eptlon. DIANOELO Why not? In the home of an Italla~, enemies beoome ~lends. RT~01 007'7811
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DANNY ThanEs. You're making it a lot easler for me. DIANGELO How you like so~ W~ne~ Rome eheeBe. Maybe a plebe of apRle to put in the wine. DANNy In the home of an Italian, ~ enemy becomes fate ~ c~I~~ ta apologlze. My children won't even talk to me and my w~fe has suddenly got ±n~omnla~ DIA~OELO Is nothlng to apologize for. I am no teacher of the pi~no. DAN~ Don't ~ake it ~ough on me. I w8~$ you to ~e~tinue to ~ea~h my children -- DI~NGELO Save the money. Itwo~id be as before~ I would let them do as they please, we would ~I be very ha~py but they ~euld learn ~othln~ about the Riano° D~ANGELO LAUGHS AND EXIT~, DA~NY LOOKS AROUND~ WALKS OVER TO THE PIANO AND RUNS HIS HAND ALONGSIDE IT~ THEN SE~TS ~IM~ELF AT T~ TABLE AS D~ANGELO ENTERS° FITXO 1 00?'~812
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DANNY you live alone? DIANGELO Alone -- with my friends. (hE PATS THE PIANO) DANI~ ( H~MOROUSLY ) Your ~mlends ? DIA}~GELO Scar!attlt Mozart, Chopin. M~ny frle[~s. Well, to ~eur ~ealth, Your 1Dvely wlf8 and beautiful children. DAVY To you~ friends. THEy DRINK THE WI~. DIANGEL0 Mr, Williams, ~t don't make any difference if your children play good OF bad plono. The Impo~tent thing is that they play -- they enjoy -- music ~s ~he g~andest, richest addition ~o llfe. What do you hope to gain by ~elling anyone he's temrible? DANNY I wish you were a niEhtolub crltic. 25° I~I"HO'I 00P7'813
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DIANGELO YOU must understand a ver~ ImpQ~t~nt bhlng abou~ muBio and playing the Diano° Even ~.ough ~t may sound terrlb~ to you, ~o ~he one who ~s playing, I~ ~ounds wonderful. DAN~ Rus~y sound~ wonderful? DIA~IGELO To hlm~ his mus~ so1~ Bolt and beautiful. DAN-h"/ Tha~Is only beoau~e wet~Q ~ver able to get h~ to wash hi~ e~s. DIANGELO Do not m~ke ~Uno Remember when ~ou were a little bo~? TO y~u~ ~ou~ fathe~ ws~ ten ~eet tal~ an~ w~e~% he ~pok~ tb~ mountains sh~° Tha~Is the way y~u a~pea~ to you~ children. Eveyone needs DANNY I d~nlt agre~ w£~h yo~ ~he~'e, If a person hss~'t got ~t, you c~nlt ta1~ hSm into ~t. And iF he has got it, you can't talk him out of ~t. 26. ATH01 00778 I~
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DIANGELO Let me tell you a s~or~, Many, many years a~o a brllllaut pianist came to this dount;~. In Europe he was well know~, He was to give hlB flrBt American concert, and naturally, he was a little nervous. All Of a sudden; he said to hlmselSt WAre you sure you are ~ady? You ~re playing in Oarneg~e Hall, The critics can tear you to pleces°l Right then this mBn needed all the encouragement he could get, But what heppened. His mBnage~ came to him and said, JYou better look out, kid, you better be g~eat, because those crltlos could tear you to pisceB.: That wa~ the only encouragement he got. So he played with fear in his heart and fear in his fingers, And the next day the critics tore him to pieces. Azd f~cm t~at day on, hls confldenGe was go~. DANNY Itts not too late for him to re6alo his confidence and play again. 27. ATH01 0077815
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~8. DIANGELO NO, it IS tOO late. Once he played like Rubinsteln... !ike Padel'ewski... now he plays llke hls good friend, Rusty Wll11~m~. DIANGELO SLOWLY AND DELIBERATFLY PLAYS "CHOPSTICKS. DISSOLVE TO: ~TH01 00??B 16
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29, INT. WILLIA~' LIVINO ROOM - ~FTERNOON TERRY A~D RUSTY ALONE AND ~ DOORBELL RINGS~ AN~ERB IT, MRo DIANQEL0 ENTERS, RUSTY (EMBRACIN0 ~IM) M~° D1Angelo! ~RY (RUNs TO HIM AND EMBP~0~S HIM) Mr. DiAngel~ ~ RUSTY Are we ~lsd to ~ee you.~ TEP~Y It was nioe o£ you ~o come bac~, MR, DIANGELO Your fatbe~ asked m~ to corn@ ba~k~ Your father is ~ fl~e m~n° TERRY The greatest° RUSTY ATX01 0077817
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RUSTY Except when he=s angry -- ~hen bets a m~nste~i DANNY ENTERS. D~NI~Y WhoIs a monste?? HU3TY Me and my blg mouth~ DIANGELO Well3 letls b~gln ~he piano lesson. DANNY There will be no piano les~on, DI ANGELO But you asked m~... DANNY I k~ow I asked you but you haven't got time to each anyone to play the piano. DIANGELO Why not? DANNY Because you're going to learn how yourself. DIANGELO Hold youm bats, klds~ here we 50 again. DANNY you be~, here we go again. Righ~ back to where you belong, carnqgle Hall| 30. ATe01 00?78 18
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DIANGELO Carnegie Hall? DANI~ Yes, sir. You play ~our e~neert there two week8 f~om n~xt Thursdays a benefdt £or the St, Sude Hospital Foundation. The o~chestra hes been en~sged~ the tlcket~ have been pr~ntedl and the guarantee h~s been p~ted. Now, a~l you have to dc i~ take ¥ou~ flngers out Of methballs° DIANGELO Why ~ou do this for me? D~ ~NY Because I have oo~fidenoe i~ you. DIANGELO But, ~r. Willlams, ! canlt do ~t. DANNY Why not? DIANGELO Itts nice that youlve zot confidence but I hsvenlt got confidence. It's too late. DANNy I have enough for both o9 us. DIANGELO But I have to p~ay the plsno. A T)'(O 1 0077~819
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DANNY Look, I've gone out on a ~Imb with the musicianst union, wlth the manager of Carnegle Hai~. And llve engaged a great ~onductor. How far do I have to go.,. DIANGELO Itm sorrys itts no useo HE STARTS TO LEAVE, DANNY Wait a mlnute~ The other day you ~ave me a long story about a guy with great taleut who didn't make good because no one encouraged him -- he lacked confidence. Well, you can tell that guy for me he lacks guts. (SFEEOH TO BE WRI~TEN) DIANGELO SILENTLY WALKS 09~R TO PX~NO A~ PLAYS. THE CONCLUSION, HE BOWS EZPOHE THE AF~L~UD~NS AND BRAVOING DAN~, TERRY AND RUSTY. DISSOLVE TO: ~T f~TKO 1 O027B20
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q,, THE AMERYCAN T0P~C",~ CO. [ALL MALL F,tMOUS ~,/GA~EVTES OPEN ON MEDIUM SHOT OF CHAPPELL STA,~DTNG BEFORE FIREPLACE IN ~LUB LIbRaRY. HE ADDRESS AUDIENCE DIHECTLY. DOLLY ~N SLIGHTLY AS ~ TANKS PACK OF PALL M~LLS FRr~M TABLE AND HOLDS T~M T0~,I~RDS CAMERA. DOLLY [N FURTH~,R AS HE TAKES SINGLE CIGARETTE FROM PACK & HOLDS IT T01~TARDS CAMERA DYSS 70 ANIMATED CIG4RETTE° SMOKE ARROWS PASSING THRU Nt~ME '~PALL M~LL' ABOVE, AND SUPER FrNE TOBACCO IS ITS 0!~ BEST FILTER" BENEAT~. FADE OUT SUPER IN SCENE ~ AND SUPER "THE, FYNF~T ~TALITY MONEY CAN BUY". FADE OUT SU~ER IN SCENE 5 & FADE YN SHORT CIgArETTE ~EN~ATH PALL ~%LL. BOTH CIGARETTES START BURNING. BOTH CTGARETTES SMOKE On~.~ IN SIZE BUT PALL MALL R~V?~INS LONGER EXTKh~) PALL MALL & SHORT CIGAN. ETTE TO ONIGINAL LENGTH~ & HIGH- LIG~[£ PALL MALL. SUPER "MOST SUCCESSFUL" EXTEND SR0~T C, IG?~F, TTE TO LONG CONTINUE RIG}~IGHTING P~LL ~L~. SUPE~ "MCRT ~HIT.%T~". QUTCK DISS TO ~EDIUH SHOT OF C~A~P~LL AS HE MOVES T~,~',RDS CIGAHETTE COUNTE,% CAMERA P,%N. NING ~!ITH HIM AS CHAPPELL COMES UP T~ CIGARETTE STAND ~q,~AT LOOI<I~TG ATTENDANT T~(ES CA~TON OF ~LL M ~LLS FROM UNDER OOUNTE~ %N~ HOLDS THEM ~UT T~ CLUB MEMBER BACK TO TIGHT S}~0T OF ~RAPFEL~. HE HOLDS U? SM~TNG CIGA~ETT~ AND PA~f TV CO~'ERCIAL #98 ONE MINUTE For those pleasant mom6nts of the day . when itls time to r~lax - take it easy- reward yot~rself~ Reward yourself w~th the plcasu~e of smo-o-th smoking, S~oko long~r and fi~e~ an~ m~ld~ PELL YELL. Fine tobacco is its own b~st f~iter and PELL MELL tobaccos - - are the fln8st quality mon8y can buy. And look how PELL MELLtS ~reater length tmavels the smoke furth~ - - filters the smoke naturallyI and makes it mild. Yn fact~ your appre- clarion of PELL YELL quality - - has made it America's most SUCCeSSfUL - - most imitated cigarette. It's vou~ ci~aret£e...fln@ tobacco blende"d~o a flavor poak,..dlstinc- tively FELL MELL. So reward yourself - with a smooth- ness~ mildness and satlsf~ction no other eigaro£te can offer you. Choos* well - smoke P~LL MELL| (MORE) ~TH01 OO2782 ?
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PJ~TL MAT.L CO,~.. J~o~ - 2 - DOLTX IN TO TIGHT SHOT OF DIS- PLAY PIECE ON STAND COME IN TO ECU OF BOTTOM OF DISPLAY PIECE, FE~%TURINO !,DRDS~ "OUTSTA~DIEG...AND THEY ARE MILD Z" Buy PELL MELL Famous Cigarettes - Outstanding - and they are n~]d2 ATe01 00?7'822
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33. INT. KITCHEN - DAY MARGAEET AND DANNy ABE SEATED AT BREAKFAST TABL~ F~ADING REVIEWS OF DIANGEL0:S CONCERT ~T CARh~GL~ HALL. ~A~AP~T Th~e revlews ~re ~eally ~onderful| DANNY It should happen ~o me. MARGARET Danny, if ~ou never do anything else in you~ life~ ~ou carl be proud of ~he ~n~ow~edge ~hat you put a great artls~ back where he belongSo DANNY I didn't do it fo~ the ~r~at RT~01 00??823
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34. MABGA~T Oh? DANNY By EettlnE him out of our halt, I have dlvePb~d ou~ oh~idren from careers as eoneePt pianists 8nd peace and quiet will once aEaln settle on the ~111$ams household, Blessed ~eace and quiet, TI~RE XS AN O°S, CF~SH,TH~ DOOR OPFNS ~VEALINO A PROCESSION OF LOUISE WITH A CYMBAL, RUSTY WI."~ A T20MBOSE ~ND TERRY WITH ~ ~. DISSOLVE TO~ FITHO 1 00??824
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THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW D~ #~6A (56) "MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY" Subtitle : "NEW sp8pelmlmn ShoW" WRITTEN BY MAC BENOFF RTF~01 00?7825
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"MAEZ ROOM FOR DADDY" ~6A (561 Subtitle: "Mm~paperman Show" CAST DANNY° H,,,,, o o,,,, 0, ,, Q,,,DAN~ THOMAS MARGARET ..... ...,......,.,.JEAN HAGEN TERRY. t...o o.,..o t o o o.o o o o oSN~RY JACKSOM RUSTY, e,, °. ° ° o °,.,,, ° °, o 6 ,eRUST~ HA~ ~RI~,, ° • ee, °O o6°°6 ~ ~ oee@ BILL PEARSONo o, °,,, o, ° ,, o~ e JESSE WHITE..° ,. o. o., op.~., INT, MASTER BEDROOM INT, DRESSING R00M INT. WILLIAMS LIVING ROOM INT. JULIA!S LIVING ROOM INT. KITCHEN INT. C~LDRENtS BEDROOM A'l" XO 1 002~826
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"MAK~ ROOM FOR DADDy" DT#26A (56) Subtitles "Newspaperman Show" FADE IN: INT. MASTER Z~DROOM - DAY MARGAF~T IS GETTING INTO }~ COAT. MARGARET (CALLING) Children' ~ur~y up! Grandmats expeotlng uB! TERRY ~NTERS, BUTTONING HER COAT. TERRY ITm all ready, Mother. MARGARET Wherels Hus~y? (CALLS) Rusty, come in here.~ SUSTY ~NTERS. ~ IS WEASING ~ SHERLOCK N0i~ ~AT AND PUFFING AT A CALABASH PIPE. RUSTY you called, Watson? A1"~01 007?82,',
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2e MARSA~T Rusty, you put down that plpel TERRY Hels sot Shredded Wheat in It| RUSTY Quiet, child! Itm Sherlock Holmes. MARGA~T Do, It look now. but Si~ A~thur Conan Doyle Just turned ove~ in his pave. SHE TAKES THE PIPE FROM HIM A~SETS IT ON BED TABLE. TERH~ And he took all those empty beet bottles the Romanys put outside their apartment ~fte~ the patty. and bets been hiding them all over the place| RUSTY Theyt~e filled with nitroglycerine and theylll blow us all to kln~dom c~me, only l~m SO~ng ~o flnd them in the nIGk of time. MARGARET That better be befo~e you~ fathe~ gets home f~om ChlcaKo tomorrow nlghb end t~zhas ~ou over his knee -- or MinEdom oome wlll be an Improve~nt. 8T:401 00?782B
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~t RUSTY you'll be happy I practloed if you come home some nl~ and £ind the Hound of the BaBke~villeB In your bed with a deadly ~pot~ed cobra. MA~ARET W~tll be sure to c~ll on you if the slt~stlo~ eve~ oomeB up. S~ S~FHKRDS T~MTO THE DOOR. TERRY Call a pol£oeman, too -- hetll be ~oared ~Ddeath. AS T}~Y EXIT~ AN EMPTY BE~R BOTTLE SLIDB8 FROM UNDER RUSTY'S COAT° ~ SUB~PTITIOOSLY KIOKS XT INTO THE BEDROOM AND OLOSE8 DOOR BEHIND T~M. DISSOLVE TO: RT~01 00??829
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TEE AMEBTCAN T~BACCO 00, PALL MALL FAMOUS C~GARETTES OPeN ON FULL SHOT OF SOLOIST, TWO GIRLS ON ?~ITP~,R SIDE OF HD% IN BARN DANCE BETTING~ HE IS ETHU~9~NG A BANJO IN S~C '~IITH SO~UARE DANCE RH~T~ ~IRLS CLA~PING HANDS IN RHYT~. SIRN "R~,rARD yOURSELF" Ap~ARS ON POST PUL~ BAO~ ON DIS8 TO MEDYOM LONG SHOT OF T'rO COUPLES S~UARE DA~OINO IN RHYTHM. A~L ARE IN COV~HM CLOT~. COUPLER CONT~.~ DANCING REVERSE SHOT OF COUPL~S DANCINO~ OVER B I~¢~EK DISS TO SIMGE~ AND GIRLS DOLLy IN TO ~l~M C~OSEUP O~ %05GIST AS RE K~NDS CIGARETTE TO GIRL ON LEFT, CET TO CN OF PAtL ~5 IN GIRttS ~A~ pUL~ BACK SLIGHTLY AS SSE PITS CIGARETTE EETI'~EN LXPS AND SINGER'S HAND LTGHTS ~ FOR H~ PDLL BACK TO CU OF GIRL AS R~ TUn~S TO CA~RA~ EXHALES I~F~H HAEASURE OU OF ~ACK. RUPEE "ONTSTANDI~G . AND THEY ARE NTLD|" IN S~NO TV CO m aC A ONE MINUTE (SOLO - FLUS ~LAPPXNG O~ HANDS) I~ll tell you a sto~ you~ll ~ver for~t'~ " A story abou~ 7ou ~n~ 7ou~ olSa~ette..,. ~n~o7 sm~othe~ s~ki~ Choose @i~elyt ehoo~ well S~oke longer anf fi~e~ and milde~ PELL HELL. (OHOMO8) HELL HELL! PELL HELL! Smoke Ion~eT end fi~er a~4 mild$~ HELL ME%L (SOLO) Noflne~ to~ooo I~ ever heen ~T ~o get 7ourself DELL EEL~ an~ make it ~m~ own, R~w~d yo~IPself with this ~t~li~ high The flnes~ ~t~ality money ~ bt~ (ORORUS) PIlL MELLI EEL5 ME~L| Smoke lonEe~ and finer ~n~ milder PELL }C~LL| CHA?PELL~ your app~eolatlon of PELL ~LL qualit~ has made $~ " ~ePlol,~$ I~o~t s1:o~essf%/l a~ ~ost imitated oisarette, PELL MEAL'S R~eater SeraPh of tra~Itionall7 fine, mallow tobaccos travele the ~moke ftmther - . filters the smoke ~ makes it mild, Buy PELL MELL. ?amoue Cigarettes in the disti~4ulshel re~ Daekage, ~Outstan¢InS; - And - they are
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~e INT, DRESSING ROOM - DAY DANNY ENTERS FOLLOWED BY CHARL~y~ DANNY Just my luck -- ~he most important r~i~ of my ca~ee~j Bevy has ~o be 81ok and I hire a nudni~k like you to ~lay the pianoX CHA~ Could Jose Iturbi have done be~ter? More to the point~ would he ~ork for ~ money? DANNY You were six bars behind m~ slngAn6 all evening| ATe01 00P?831
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O~A~Y Itm eobz~, ~ 1~ wasnJ~ un~t~. ~he ~hi~ number I reaZlzed I was playin~ the 8po~s ~n my glaBses° DANNY • he fourth number was ~wle.~e ae bad, Tha~lB when Z put on my bifocals° DANNY And Bill ~ea~son has to oat~ ~he a¢~ tont~ One Of ~he bl~e~ ~een ~n~ to ~e~ hlm ~o do a eoiun~n on me fo~ yea~| Did yo~ see hl~ ~he~e a~ the ~n~ids? OHA~Y The fellow wl~h ~he measlea? DANNY You an~ your bifoc~l~| ~OOK ON ~ DOOR, DANN~ OPENS ~To DANNY Bl~l| Blll Pea~nJ Come on ~nJ Danny~ yo~ know me -- Ifma ~o~ ou6~ome~. Bu~ ~ou killed m~ tonl~h~o you u~Ce~l~ elayed me, even lau~od a couple of ~i~neSo ~P ATH01 007?832
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DANNY So you llked the show, hDh? Well -- how about the col%~nn you promised me? BILL Dahny, I'd llke to give you the break but Xtve got over ~00 newspapers to thlnk about... Illl give it to you strai~t beeaus@ ~'m you~ f~lend. Yo~ jue~ dont$ have any color, ~o Qxcitements your career is about as IntereBtln8 as a wet he~ring. DANNY Itm ~lad yo~Ipe r~y frlend| BILL Believe me, if therets anyone who wants to do a eol~mn on yous itts ma. I love you llke a b~othe~. Could I say mere? CHARLIE You could love hlm llke a mother~ DANNY Charley -- ~oulre pseked -- why dentt you go? CHARLEY llm with you on the train. 6. PPI" ~01 0027833
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BILL If you did 8omethi~g sxeltlng -- a dlvoroe, someone tried to kill you or.,. o~ you -- ssy if yDu shot somebody. DANNY (LOOKING AT CHARLEY) I ~hot somebody? I1m goingJ HE EXITg, CHAP~Y DANNY Bill, you come home with me. Spend some time with nom~al people. See a family that not only belleveB in love th¥ neighbor aB thyBelf, but alBo love thy family a8 thyself. Where the children are happy to be ehil~ren, the wlfe As happy to be a wife, a~d not one membe~ Of the family has ever been to a psychlatri~t. BILL Sounds llke the opening eplsode of "Life Can I~s Na~seatlng." DANNY Why donJ~ yo~ stop belng the sophistlcate and ~ome down to earth. I think yo~readers would enjoy & story of ou~ happy home... 7e ATH01 00?7834
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BILL Be sensible. Three lines of that happy home stuff would put my readers to sleep, Youlve got no story, DANNY Come on back to New york with me. Spend an evening With my wife and kids, My family will 8rest us with open arms, you111 have the finest home-cooked dinner you e~er tasted and you'll wind up with a column so inspirational Irving Berlin will Bet it to music. BILL Wait s minute! There may be a story here, after all. D~NNY NOW you're talking. BILL When are you expected home? DANNY Day after tomorrow~ I WaS ~laraling on taking the train out tomorrow afternoon. BILL I'~1 ~o with youI pmevid~d you take the plane instead of the train. 8, ATe01 00PP835
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DANNY Why? BILL Because me thinkest ~hou pPotesteth too much, llm w11li~g ~ gamble a 8tory ~n my column agalns~, shell ~te say a new chapeauj that the Wllllamst hOUsehold Is no~ as serene as you would have me believe. DANNY Wells how is getting home day early going to prove it? BILL It will get me into you~ menage before you have a cb~noe $o aler% your wife a~d ~ehear~e your lines with her. I)ll see the Willismst household with Its guar~ down. Oh, yes, I can see the $1tle of the ool~!mn in my mlndI~ eFe now... (TO BE WRITTEN) DISSOLVE TO: 9e RTF~O 1 007'7'836
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3,0. INT. WILLIAMS! LIVING ROOM - I~TEAF~ERNOON DANNY AND BILL ENTER, DANNY~LATED° DANNY PUTS DOWN HIS SU~TCASESo DANNY Wai~ till you see the greeting I get°°° (O~LLS) Margaret° Terry, Rusty° Daddy's back! (NO ANSWER) Margaret, Terry, Rus~y. (NO ANSWER| BILL Happy home l~fe s~ar~s w1~b a great big wave of Q$1ence° DANNY 8MILES AT HIM AND ~ SMI~.~.S BACK° D~NNY CanI~ thndePstand i~° UBUally# ~he ~Inute I come ~n -- kisse~, klases~ klsaeSo AT.HO 1 OOF'783 ?
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BILL WellI don!t look at me. DANNY Oh, I know. Theylre at the movies, BILL Yeah... ~here#s nothing so satlsfylng as coming home to a ~ioe, home°c~oked movie. DA~Y Don)t worry, If they don)t show up ri~t away, Itll cook the dlr~er fop you myself. BILL Oh, no2 yo~ donlt, DANh~ ~urprlsed, huh?.,. (MAKING A BIG SHOW) In ou~ hapDy family, w~ believe in dlvldln~ the work. If I'm tlred m> wife oooks, if abels tired, I oook. Naturallys most Of the time I1m tired. BILL Not as tired at ths~ story. D~NNY If you went to wash up, itls right there. BILL Thanks, 11. RI'~01 00??838
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12. BILL EXITS TO MASTER BEDROOM, DANNY DASBES FOR PHO~. DANNY (INTO PHO~) Sandy, do you know where Mrs. Williams and the ~hild~en we~t? NO, Well, maybe they went to her motherls, Would you get her nttmber for me~ please? INTERCUT LIVING ROOM AND PORTION OF JULIA'S LIVING BOOM FOR FHONE° RU~TY (WEARZNS S~RLOOK HO~S HAT) Hello. Sherlook Hol~ss speaking, DANNY Is thst you~ Rusty? RUSTY your deduotion is oorreotj ntv desr Wa~ son. DANNY This is Daddy, I JuBt ~ot home. RUSTY Well, be oareful. Did the nltroglyaerlne go off ye~? B~NNY what? Ru~y, whe~els your mother? RUSTY Shefs in the bedroom with the Hound o£ the BaskemvIllem. ~TH01 0072839
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DANNY WHO? RUSTY ThatSs Grandma, You wBn$ to tlk to Mommy? DANNY Your deduotiDn Is correct, NOW, get your mother. RUSTY HANDS PHON~TO TERRY~ TERRY Hello, Daddy. What are you doing ho~? DANNY Trying to talk to your mother. Will you please put her on the phone? TERRY We didn't expeot you home this early, DAh~Y I apologize for oomlng home early, Now, will MOU pleBse Set your mother, TERRY Mother's goln~ to be surprlsed you're home already, DANNY Not half ae surprised as IIm going to be when you put her on the phone. 13. RTH01 00??8~0
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TERRY Here she isb (HANDS PHQ~ TO M~RG~RET) Is he mad! MARGARET Hello j love~. DANNY Love~s ha! Donlt make me l&u~h° I come home all the way from Chicego and what do I £~nd° Zero -- Z - e -- MAROARET I can spell Itl Darlin~, donet be angr~o We dldnSt expect you till tomorrow. Weg~e ove~ here at Motherle fo~ dinner. I ~hought-- D~NNY We11j you though~ wrong. Come on ~Ight ho~eo V~ROARET There's no need to 8ho~t, dear. DANNY WhotB shoutln~? MARGARET DANN~ I a~ not, ~R~ARET Now~ ycui~ sho~tln~ loudero A1"~01 OOP?8~
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D~N~ I am not -- look~ Margaret, I brought ~ newspaperman home with me ~rom Chicago ~o do a ~to~ on me, And I wan~ you to come rlght Dve~ a~d c~o~ hi~ d~nne~ -- MAR~T Cook a dlnner, now? DANNY Just something ~Imp~e -- onion ~up, Caesa~ salad, ~oas~ t~rk~y~ lemon merln~ue pie -- yo~ donVt have to make anythlng elaborate. Then bring me my robe and B~ippe~B and real~y make an Impre~slon on him. MARGARET What's the ar~Io~e ~baut you ~o~n~ to be called -- "Happ~ H~U~S in She S~ave ~a~ket~" ~ "~nna a~d the K~n~ of Siam," DANNY ~top making the ~okes and come M~R~ARET You~r~ shouting a~aln° DANN~ 15. fll'XO I 00728~.2
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16. MARQA~T you are, too. Who do you think I am? DANNY (AS BILL ENTERS ROOM) My wife, that's who -- (SEES HIM AND SWITCP~S TO SWEETNESS AND LIGHT) .- thatls who-who. MARGA~T Well, if you've flnlshed, I would llke to sey something. -Until you learn to speak in a olvilized manner, don~t bother to speak to me at all. Goodbye, SEE HANGS UP PHOE~* DANNY HANGS UP PHONE AND EXITS TO MASTER ~DROOM. ATX01 0072843
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17. INT. BEDROOM DANNY ENTERS. DANNY (CALLING TO BILL) Are you sure you harm everything you need? BILL (O.S,) Yes, everythingrs flne. DANNY PUTS HAT AND COAT ON BED AND CROSSES TO NIGl~f TABLE, PICKS UP CALABASH PIPE BELONSINS TO RUSTYI DANNY (CALLING) That!s a nice IOoMInE pipe yOU have here. BILL What pIRe? I donlt smoke a pipe. DANNY STARES DOWN AT T}~ PIPE IN HIS HAND AS BILL ENTERS. BILL TAKES OUT PAD AND PENCIL. -" 81X01 00778~
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18. BILL Well~ this is going to make Guite a sob~y, So~ry i~ had to happen to you, Danny -- (TAEES OUT CAMERA) Get the pipe a little olose~ to your face and don!t 8mile, Look real s~rpmlsed. DANITY H~h? 0hj out it out, ItlS simple, It must be Margaret's. I mean -- therees an explanation ~o~ eve~pthlnE, But I oanJt think of o~e, DANNY SITS DOWN ON ~Do BILL Whst!s the matter? DANNY PULLS SO~TEING OUT FROM b~DEN PILLOW ~ HAS BEEN SITTING ON, DANNY (SETS DOWN EMPTY BEER BOTTLE) It's just an empty beer bottle. (REACTING) Empty beer bottle~ BILL Undar her pillow? DANNY It's a mlstske! I've never Been Margaret touch a drop| R~01 00??845
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19° BiLL Does it secretly, huh? The worst klng~ DANNY The~els some explenatlon -- ~he~I a wonderful wife -- When I co~e home -- first thing -- (~ CROSSES TO CLOSET) -- she goes to the closet -- gets my robe and slippers.°. OPENS CLO8ET DOOR. AS SE DOES SO~ A DOSEN EMPTY BEER BOTTLES ROLL OFF THE TOP S~LFo ~ STANDS, FROZEN, AS BILL STA~S AT HIM. DANNY Itls a lie|... Believe me° You go home, when ~he oozes back shelll explain the whole thing to me and I'iI call ~ou. BILL GO home? But you invlted me for a home cooked meal. DANNY How did I know what was cooking at home? I mean -- my wife isnlt here to cook. BILL You told me you did the cooking so~e of the tlme° ~ou cook me a meal While we Wa~t for her~ ATe(01 00?7846
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20 ° (PLEADING) home? DANNY Don~t you wanna go BILL No, thank you, This ~ay b@ the biggest scandal of the yesr. llm going to stay right here and enjoy it. }~E SINKS lh"IO A CHAIR, REACTS, FULLS OUT A BEER BOTTLE FROM D~DER HIM AND BOLDS IT OUT TODAHNY. BILL What a thirst] DISSOL~: AT:R01 007284?
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T~ dM~RICAN TOEiCCO CO. PALL ~L%LL FAMOUS CIGARETTES L0~!G SHOT OF ~0'~ING ALLEY AS ]++i~ LETS GO OF BALL P~FEBSE SHOT - CU OF ROLLING ~LLL CU OF PINS BEING STRUCK kI"/E~SE SHOT . TO MOU OF MACHINE ~ IT COI~S D~4N TO ~ET UP PINS. ~SN RF~S "R~RD YOURSELF" D~S TO CU ~AN'S HANDS T.~KING P~L MALL FROM PACK PULL BACK TO MCU OF MAN ENJnyING SMOKE PULL BACK ~TH~R T~ I~CLUDE OTHER BO~ERS '~0 PE~DUCE PACKS OF PALL MALLS AND DO BTTSINESS SUITABLE TO THE IDEA OF "YOU TOO" DIES TO ANI~T.~D CTGARETTE~ SMOKE ARR0'IS PAn,SING TKSU~ NAME "PALL I,~LL" A~OVE A~ SLL~ER "FINE T0~CC~ IS ITS O~ BEST FILTER" BENEATH FADE OUT SUPER IN H~E,~ 8, AND SUPER "THE FINEST QUALITY ~+.0NEY CAN BUY" FADE OUT SUFBE IN SCE~rS 9~ AND F~E IN SHORT C~C~EETTE BE}~ATH PALL ~LL. BOTH CISA~T~F~ ~T~T BURNING BOTH CIGARETT~ SMOEE D0"~ IN S~E~ BUT PALL ~IALL RE!IA~NS LONGER FET~ND PALl, MALL AND EBORT CIGARETTE TO 0R~G~'~L LENGTHS A~ HIGHLIGHT TALL ~4A~T,. SUPER ~'MOST SUCCESSFUL". EXTF~ S~ORT CIGAEETTE TO LONG CONTINU~ HTGHLIS~TING PA~ ~ALL. SUPER "MOST I~ITATED" OISE TO CU CF E~fOKF~G C~ARETTE TN ~N~S ~+AND TV COMMERCIAL #96 ONE MINUTE gOrged: (Backgrotuld atmosphere of bowling alley) SOUND: (Rolling Ball) S0~ND~ (Of pins being struck) ANNCB: (V.O.) R~;ARD YOURSELF R~ ;AND YOURSELF with the ~leasure of - smooth smoking. Smoke~ and f~ a~ PE~L MELL [ Fine tobaoeo is-lts own best filter and PELL MELL tobaccos - - are the finest quality money ca~ buy+ And look how pELL }~ELL'S greater length travels the smoke further - - filters the smoke nat~rally+ and makes'it mlld. ~n faob~ your appre- ciation of FELL MELL q~ality - - has made it ~mer~cats most su~cessf~l - - and most imitated cigarette. It's~w clgarette...fine'toba~oo blend~d~o a flavor Deak..,dis- tinctivelF HELL ~LL. ATH01 002?848
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' PALL MALL CO~. #96 - ~ - PULL BACK TO FULL SHOT OF BOWLER SMOKING WITH PLF~SURE D~SS TO ECU OF PACK WITH CIG~-RETTE IN ASH TRAY BF~IDE' IT~ AND SUPER: "oUTSTANDING- ~D TREy ARE M__~" (SOUND~ OF pINS BEING STRUCK) So'reward yourself - wlth a smoot~%es~'mildness and sat~- faQtlonno other elgarett~ c~ offer you. Choose well...smoke PELL NELL! G8% fTesh~ new smoklng sAtlsfac- tlon. B~v pELL MBLL Famous CigaPe%tes...Outstandlng- an~ they a~e ~.] RI-H01 00PP849
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21. INT* KITCHEN - NIGHT DANNY, WEARING A 2RETTY APRON~ IS SETTING A T~Y OF HOR~ D'0EUVRES ON THE KITOHEN TABLE WHERE BILL IS SITTING. DANNY Must be some ~ame the kids are playing, ~ou111 ~ee... in the meBntlme, table thes~ hor~ dIoeuvres I whlpDed up. °. BILL TASTES ONE. BILL (GRImaCINg) Wh~t ~ ~hIB on this 0~acke~? DANNY I dun~o.,, found it in the ice box. Some kind Of fish. STY01 00??850
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BILL I thlnk you gee the balb instead° DANNY CROSSES TO CUPBOARD AND OPENS XT, DANNY Well, letI~ get dinner ~olng.,. wh~t kind Of so~p?,,, Cream of BILL Will you set off the cream~, ~'ve gained five pound li~tening to the labels° DANNY C~ea~ e~ celery,., c~es~ o~ ~orn °., ere~ Of Budweiser°°° ~ILL Wh~t? DANNY Excuse me, the~ete another stowaw~y~ T~S OUT EMPTYBEE~BOTTLE~ND PS"P~ IT ASIDE, BILL Never mind the soup, What else have you got? DANNY I'm gon~a make you something real good. Would you llke some baloney? 22. RTN01 0072851
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B~LL Oh, sure. Therels nothing llke baloney ssuted in beer. I thought you said you cooked ~or the family. DANNY I told you when my wife gets tired. BILL She must be 8 very strDnB womsn, DANNY HOW about a salad? (TAHE80LIT A HEAD OF LETTUCE AND Pb~8 1~ ON THE FJTCHEN TABLE ) BILL Wharfs that? DANNY Salad. Head of lettuce. BILL I knew there=d be a head o~ it. When you cook what does your family do -- SO OUt to eat? DANNY W~se ~uy, All rlgbt, I=ll chop It up ~o~ you... (}~ HAS OPENED THE FK~EZER OOMPARTNENT) Hey, we're In luck. (PULLS OUT A TURKEY WRAPPED IN OELLOpHA~) A turkey. {PULLS 0UTANOTBEB EMPTY BEER BOTTLE) Brooght les lunch along. 23. ,'~ 7-HO 1 002?852
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BILL Why donrt we wait %Lntil ThanksgivlnE?| DANNY X'II make you eat those words, Waboh me prepa~ ~his turkey, PEOM OFFSCEN~ COMES T~ VOICE 0F JESSE WR~TS. JESSE Hello, hello. Where is everybody? BILL someone else coming home to his happy family? DANNY That's my asent, Jesse White. HE GOES TO %~4E DOOR JUST AS IT'S PUSHED OPEN AND JESSE KISSES DANNY, JESSE Hi, Margaret. Oops| DANNY Wharfs the matter, Donlt ~ou look first? JESSE ~xouse me, ~ aaw the apron. Wherets Msrgaret? DANNY Over at her mother's. JESSE You two have another fight or somethinE? R'F :KO 1 00PP853
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DANNY 3HHHHHH ! BILL Well, things are gettlng exciting. DANNY What kind of talk is that? When do Margaret and I ever fight? JESSE Wells the main event usually $oe~ on at seven| (H~ L~UG~S) DANNY Jesse~ BILL Afte~ sherB had a ~ew beers? ~SEE (LAUGHING) yeah, ~or all I know thst could be the ~eason. DANNY JESSE! JESSE Whstls the mstter -- wha~ a~e you getting Be touchy about? DANNY This happens to be B111 peB~son -- here to do a oolt~ on my happy home llfe -- on which your happy h~me llfe depends on ten percent ~f~ 25. FtTH01 OOF'?854
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HE PULLS JESSE WHA? WNA? Holy Smokes! Where's Margaret? (BASBLINGTOBILL) Flght? Why, they never fight! Two love blrdst thatls whet they are, lovey-dovey-lovey-dovey all day lOnE| And happy? (HE SITS DOWN) Happy, happy, happ~ all the time... Hey, whatls this beer bottle doing on this oha~r? ONE OUT, BILL Msybe ~hat's why they!re so happy, happy, happy| DANNY (BURNING) Jesse... what fortunate wind wafted you th~s way on Just this evening? JESSE Well, I flne~ly found thet new 8pa~tment I've been look~ng for but I oanft get in ~tll tomoProW, D~NNY Why di~IIt you stay In yOUp old one? JESSE Well, the lease explred todey so I shipped 911 my stuff to the new one and I thought l~d hsve dinner here and spe~d the nlght. You knOW how hospitable Margaret ~lways is. ~6. Qr~01 00PP855
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BILL Do you smoke a pipe? JESSE SU~eo ~at to borrow some tobacco? DANNY (B[rRNING) It won't be necessary. Ibm smoking enough for both of JESSE Whatrs the matter, Danny, a~snft you glad to see me? Ssy you're glad to see me. DANNY (NOT GLAD TO SEE HIM) Ibm glad to see you. JESSE (TO BILL) It's always so much fun over here I wouldntt think of going any place el~e.,. (TO DANNY) By the way, whatls the apron for? DANNY I'm preparing dinner, JESSE Excuse me -- I think I'll check in at a hotel| R/H01 0077856
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DANNy Stop belzg Be funny, Come on, give me a hand here. How do you cook a turkey? JESSE I don~t cook lema I book Pe~. DANNy Cut it out, JESSE How do I know how to cook a turkey? You sblck it in a hot oven about five or 8ix h~nd~ed deg~e~o DANNY I want to cook it not c~emate it. JESSE Have you gob a ~ermometer? DANNY JEgSE W~ere are you going? DANNY To the medlclne cabinet ~o geC s thermometer, JESSE Not that kind Of thermometer, I admit this bird looks siok bu~ I don~t think it has a fever. DOOR OPENS AND CHARLEY dTICKS HIS HEAD IN. RTH01 007'7'85?
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~9. CHAKLEY YOO hoo,t Anybody home? DANNY CROSSES TO HIM, ¢]{ABLEY ENTERS. CHARLEY Ma~garetl than ever, Charley, set rid of those glaBses. What are you doing here? CHARLEY I hsd a fight with my wlfe. sai~ "Why don't we have a happy home li~e ~IkeDannyandMa~gare~?" She said, "If you llke them eo muehj v~ny donlt you ~o over there and have dinner?" She s~Id it in such a nice way and she had such e big butcher knife in her hand, that I came. DANNy Thanks a lot! CHARLEy EUSHES TO TABLE AND CRAMS ONE OF THE HORS D'0EL~ES INTO HIS MOUTH. ~ STRANGE LOOK C0~S OVER HI~ FACE. HE LOOKS ~T DANNY. CHARLEY Dsnny.°° ~en dld Margaret leave home? DANNY She didnlt leave! AT)~01 00?P858
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30. BILL That's h1_~s sto~y| DANNY Shels at her ~otherIs @nd ITm gonna ~ook d~nne~, C~ARLEY What a time I p$cked to have a £1ght ° HE TAKES A CAL~ASH PIPE OUT OF HIS PocKET AND STARTS TO LIGHT IT. DANNY AND BILL SLOWLy TURN AND STAKE AT HIM. CHARLEY (I~OC~TLY) Whetls the m~te~? BILL How long have ~o~ smoked a pipe? DANNY Bill -- don't be sil1~ -~ he w~s in Chlc~gc with ua. BILL M~ybe bets got a bloycle. JESSE A~ I the only one who1~ st~rving? Lefts get on with dln~er° CHARLEY Great Ides~ DANNY A~I 21gh~, m3l 2~gh~ Iill get the Su~key ~eady~ HE CROSSES TO STOVE, PICKE UP TURKEY, SHAKES ~T, HOLDS ~T TO HIS EAR. f-tT ~O100PPB58
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31. HE REACHES INSIDE TURHEY AND PULLS OUT AN EMPTY BEER BOTTLE, A PAUSE AS THEY ALL STAKE AT HIM, DANNY (FINALLY) It's lucky when you live in America-f DISSOLVE TO: RTH01 00??860
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INT* JUL~A!S AP~* PHONE RINGS. MARGARET ANSWERS I~* MARGARE~ (INTO PHONE) HellO. Oh, heiZo, darlin~, too bad yo~tre Not here. Welre hsvln~ a wonderful dinner. INTERCUTTO WILLIAMS LIVING ROOM AND DANNY ON PHONE. CHaRLEy ENTERS. DANNY (INTO PRONE) Well, I'm not. yould better come might home. CHARI~Y Thatls It, Donlt let her Eet away wi~h it. MARGA~T That nswspape~laan stll~ t~In~ to ~et a sto~y? 8T:~O 1 O077B61
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DANNY yeS, and whatZ8 mQr6s he fouBd a ~anfs pipe in yo~P room.| H~ thinks therere a scandal~ MARG~F~T What do you ~hlnk? DANNY Wh~t do you ~bink ~ think? I know Itrs rldiculouB~ MARGARET Oh,.. I'm Just an old cook, maid, 8nd carpet-sllpper bringer, huh? No man would think Of looklnE at me twice] DANNY Tha$'s not what I sald~ Come home right away and prove he'a wrong] MARGARET Donlt you shout at me~ DANNY I~Ii 8hO~t a~l I wart to, CHARLEY Tell her off. DANNY you should be ashamed Of yoursel~, aotlng this w~y. CHARLEy Women are ~o good. 33. RT~O~ 0077862
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34. DANNY Wolnen ~e no gDog° MARO,~R~T What-' 3ust fe~ that wef1"e Braying hera over nlght. DANNY,' Margaret, you're ruln&ng a bdg stor~" for me. MARGAF~T That's all yeu can think of, Wells goodbye. BILL AND 0~SSE ENTER FROM KZTC~N, EATING SANDWIC~S. DANNY Margaretl (ME S~E8 TNEM AND 3WITCP~S,' 9ERY SW~U~TLY) MacE&rat, honey baby~ sweetheart, MAROANET 'Bye. Don't call us. Wefll call yOU, S~ HANGS UF PHONE. DANNY (FA~ SLAMS DOWN ~CEIV~R, TO BILL) Her metherts gottez worse, They have to spend the night there, All of them. BILL Yeu mean shets not coming home te you. And shels taking the children~ ~THO~ 00??863
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DANNY ThSt lsnlt w~at I mean~ She~ll be baok In the mo?nlng. Well, youIll have to meet hem some other time.. Wonderful glrl. So ~onE, Bit1° BILL Who~s leaving? DANNY Huh? BILL No. I wouldn't want to ~eavo Such a happy home, And besldes, why sb0uld I be different f~om Jesse and Charley? I'm sleepln~ Over, too. DANNY But what for? Therets no sto~y. BILL ~o? If she doe~t$ Show ~p In the m0rnin~... Ill1 hsve my biggest s$ory of the year. Now... how about ~ beer? DANNY Shut ~p| DISSOLVE TO: 35. ATM01 00?7864
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36. INTo LIVING ROOM - NIQHT ~ES3E ~NTER~ FROM ~ITO~N WTTH OL~8~ OF MILE. HE IS WEAPJNG LOUD P~JA~L%S° BILL E~RS FROM MASTER BED- ROOM DRESSED ~N PAJAMAS. AND CHARLEY ENTER8 FROM KIDSI ROOM DF~SSED IN PAJAMAS. THEY ALL LOOK AT EACH 0T~Ro DANklY ENTERS FROM MASTER BEDROOM WEARING A LONG, RED FLAN~L NZ~ZTOOWNo CHARLEY Danny~ if you had a broom you could fly ou~ of ~h~s room~ DANN~ It was co~d in Chlcs~o| TH~ ALL SAY GOODNIGHT AND EXIT TO BEDROOMS. DISSOLVE TO!
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INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY MARGARET AND THE KIDS ENTER FROM HALL DOORj WEARING COATS° MARGARET Quiet, now. I donlt want to wake your father. Go to your room snd take off your coats. TERRY All right, Mother. RUSTY AND TERRY EXIT TO KIDSI ROOM. f~TXOI 00??866
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38. INT, CHILDEEUrS ROOM CHARLEY AND JESSE A~ ASLEEP IN CHILDREN'S RED AS KIDS ENTER TERRY (STARTLED) Lock, Rusty! RUSTY Burlars -- I'll bet he squashed my frog.I TERRy l~l go E@t Mother, SHE EXITS. RUSTY I'ii teach you to fool around with ShePl0ck Holmes. HE TA~S GOLDFISH E~L OFR TABI~ AND POURS IT O%~R OHE OF THE SLEEPING FIGURES. ~sSE CONS TO WITH A START AND LEAPS OUT OF BED. MARGARET AND DANNY, IN HI~ PAJAMAS, ENTER, FOLLOWED BY BILL. ATX01 00?7862
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DANNY What's going on? (SEEING HER) Margaret! THE OTP~R8 GAT}~K THE BLAN~TS ARODND ~EM, BILL (TO MARO~P~T) So -- ~oulve oome back. I knew if I stuck around long enough IId get the full Btory O£ your bust-up. MARGARET ~hat bust-up? BILL Won't open up, huh? you know what I mean. I've got the evidence° Why hide it? What b~gs handsome b~Ute won who away from which husband.. ° while he puffed away at thi_.~B? HE WOLDS UP TRE PIPE. TERRY Thi_~s handsome bru~e° HE TAKES THE PIPE, PUTS IT IN HIS MOUTH. TERRY Itls filled with Shredded Wheat. ~USTY King size, BILL (TAKES PIPE PROM RUSTY AND TASTE8 8HKEDDED k~EAT) What? It is Shredded Wheat, Bg. RTX01 00P7868
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40. RUSTY Did you find a~y of my bB~ bottl~s? They,re f$11ed wlth nltr~ly~erln~ and ~hey111 ~ow yQu all to kinEdom ~ome~ BILL I fee~ llke I've Just been they,° DANNY PIOKS UP C~MERA AND POINTS IT AT BILL, DANNY Get ~he pipe a llttle elo~e~ to y~r face ~nd do.It ~m~s. ~o~ I hav~ a bette~ D~$'~re fo~ hi~ story, Bere! ~HE HANDS CAMERA TO BILL ANDTHEN KISSES DANNY. DANNy Go ahead~ take the ~$cture~ B~LL ~s ~ke I ~o~d you, D~nny, you got n~ s~ory -- F~DE OUT. THE ~ND IBI"SO ? 00779&9
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---
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THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW DT #27A (57) "MAKE ROOM FOB DADDY" Subtitle: "The Philosopher" ~. ~ /~;/f ATe01 0077871
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"MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY" ST #27A (57) Subt Itle ! "The Philosoph~p" CAST DANNY. ~Q.., °,., o,, ® o o, o.. oDANNY THOMAS MAB@AP~T,,,,, ,,,,,, o, ~ o,, ,J~AN HAOEN -~ERRY ...... oi~. o o oio ,o,. o ~SK~RR~ ~CKSON .~USTY° o ° o ..., o. °. °.. ° ° o °I,RUSTZ HAiR PR0~o .~ILIOBY, °. °°, °,, ,° o, STUDENT° ~° ° °, ° ° ° °. °~o°.~,° MAN ~0 LOOKS LIKE EINSTEIN SETS.__ INT, LIVING ROOM INT, CHILDRENIS ROOM INT, MASTER BEDROOM INT° COLLEGE CLASSROOM ATN01 0077872
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.I~HE ROOM FOR DADDY" DT #27A (97) Subtitle| "The Philosophep" INT. LIVING ROOM ~RRY IS SEA~D AND WRIT~G IN NOT~0OK. DANDFf Hi, Te~Fyo SHE CONTINUES WRITINO ~N NO~KBOOK. DANNY I Just learned a new pleoe of msbe~lal. You wsnb to llsten to it? Get th18: DANNY DOES NL~ERo AT CONOLUSION OF NI~4RRNI TERRY Row do you spell ~ributar&es? MANGA£~T ENTERS. A BOOK. DANNY ENTER8, SRRIS M~CHING AN APPTM A~ BEADING DANNY Hi, h0n. SHE PAYS NO ATENTION TO HIM ANN SITS DOWN. I~TM01 00??8?3
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D~NNY I've got a new piece of material. Benny wrote It. (DOES NU~R) What do you thlnk of it? MARGARET Oh -- oh -- ~ though$ you were going downtown, Dan~y. DANNY I've teen and come back. Wharfs going on here? A man comes home~ ODe doesntt say good evening. The other doesntt even kmow he was gone. What kind of a routine am I getting? MARGARET Please, Danny, yOU ~now ~tm takl~g that extension course at N.Y.Uo... I've got $o study for my exam in Classical Philosophy. DANN~ Exams~ Study~ That1~ all youtve been doing sinee you ~ta~ted that cour6e! Maybe you ought to pay a little attention to your husband -- may ask questions, too| MARGARET Now, dsrllng.., you're not really Jealous of the ancient Sreek~, 8re you? ~t AI"H01 00??8?4
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DANNY It depends how anolent the Greek is. I knew ~ fellow in Toledo once -- sixty fSve MeaTS old -- MARGA~T Stop beln~ silly. DANNY All right. Jus~ donlt forget you have a husbBnd° Nuw, listen to this new nur~be~ I learned. MARGA~T !Im buBy. ~ have to fl~Ish this hook. $H~ CONT~'~ BEADING. DANNY Books, books, hDoks| Fine thing, I cantt even get a~ oplnlo~ on a ~umbe~ from ~%y own f~mily° IsnI~ anyone golng tG listen to this thing? Who do I know who hates hooks? ~%/st~ -- P~ CBOSSES TO CHILDP~N'SB~DHOOM. Se ~gTHO~ 007P825
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:NT. ~ILDREN 'S ~DROOM RUSTY IS SKATED AT DESK W0RKINO INTENTLY AT BOOK, THE DOOR OPENS AND DANNY ENTERS. DANNY Oh, no, no~ you, too. Rus%y -- ~ss.. o RUSTfPAYS NO ATTENTTON. DANNY X've ~ot s new number. Msybe ~m I~1 the wPon~ ho~s~, youl- name is Rusty, £sn1~ It? RUSTY LOOKS UP. Eello. ~USTY DANNY ThatCs better, What are you doing?
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RUS~ Itm doing my homework because I want to ~et a hundred. DANNy .,. Rusty Willlame? RUSTY Because everybody who sets a hundred gets a ]olllpop, The teaoher p~omlsed, DANNY What a sneak7 wen to zrlQk you Into an eduoatlon| This Is what I pay taxes for -- lolllpops~.,. Put the homework awsy fo~ a minute, I want to slng you a sons ! learned today, RUSTY I haven't got time to listen, This a~Ithmetlo ~s awful tough, DANNIr If y~u listen, Itll do the arlthr~etio fo~ you, RUSTY No, thanks, I ~n___~ that 1olllpop, DANNy All right| Donlt listen| Who needs you? DO I have to go begglng my child to glve me an audition? Goodbye~ ~J ArHOI OOPPaP?
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6t HE EXITS,SLAMMI~G THE DOOR. ALMOST X~DIATELYs DOOR REOPENS. DANNy (pLEADI~G) Aw, come on, Rusty -- please llsSen. RUSTY you wan~ me to g~ow up to be 8tupld? HE TURNS BACK TO HIS WORK. DANNY EXITS. ~T~01 O0??O?B
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7. INT. LIVING ~w0OM MARGARET AND TERRY A~ ~TILL STUDYINS~ DA~Y ENTERS AND LCOKS AT THE~,~° ~E ~ACES RGOMj TRYING TO FIND SO~THING TO DO. ND DUSTS PIANO. T}~N CHANGES FLOSSES FROM 0h~ VASE TO ANOT~R. M~EGARET b~nny, ~nlb you f~nd so~hlng to do? And let us ~oncen$rate on ou~ work for 8 while. DANNY Oksy, okay. Go ahead, concentrate, }~ STARTS TO SAY SOMETHING TO MAEGAKET BUT STOPS AND CROSSES TO FHONE AND DIALS. DANNY How do you dlal Information? MARGARET ~T~O~ 0022879
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DANNY HelloS info~matlon, this is Danny Williams, I learned a new song today. Get a load of this, (S~NGS LODDIY, C0~DY SONG ABOUT 16 BARS) All Of a s~dden 5he~s a e~Iti0, Z~ll call Io~ dlstaneem 8om~bodyls going to hear this song. MAROA~T Oh, Dannyj cut it out. TERBY ! guess I'm not going to be able to get any work done here, S}~EXITS TO P~B ROOM, MARGARET (CLOSING KER BOOK) Neither 8m I, All right, Danny, let me hear the song, DANNY Not on your llfe, You sit there wlth you~ nos~ stuok in a boon and dontt want to listen, Thabls okay wlth me, When you want me to lls~en to you sometime IIm going to stick n%~ nose in 8 booM, And let me tell you something, with my nosep It111 be a m~eh bigger book, 8Q RTF~01 002?8B0
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9B FIT ~01 O022BB I
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DANNY Well, hereIs somethSng you d$dntt know, For a long tlme, I oo~idnVt make up my mind whether to beoome 8n actor o~ 8 soient18to MARGA~T Whst declded you9 DANNY When I blew up the ohemlstr~ clsss. But all these year3a I've h~d a thlr~t for knowledge, too. It's Just that live never hsd the time to do anythlng 8bout it. Why, if I ~ver settled do,;n to study, it frlghtens me to ~hlnk of what I might 8coompllsh. MARGARET you migh~ be able to blow up the whole sohool. DANNY Ths~Is I~ M~ke fun of ~e, MARGARET Well, darling, ~ou~re flnslly ~oi~ ~o be 8ble to ~ive this ~re~ mind of yours a workout. I've been meaning to t~ll you -~ p~of~ssor Willoby is comlng ~o di~ine~ ~omorrow night° IO° RT)~01 0022882
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DANNY Professor Willoby, MARGARET T~J huh, He teaohe8 ~he Course in Greek Philosophy that i'm taking, ~bought it Was 8bou~ time we h~ someone for d~neP who was~It f~om show bus~ness~ And he really se~med very Br~xlou~ ~o meet you~ DANNY Oh, he did, huh? Probably fiKures You~e mar~d ~o 8 d~h~b 8c~o~, NARGABET ItTs ~ct that a~ sll° It ,~0~ hur~ you to mee~ a re~l professor and forget show buslne~s fo~ one evening, DANNY Tha~'~ why ~ou invited him. You thi~k my mind needs ImDrovlng. you think you've been marrled to a d~pe for thirteen years? MARGARET No, I ce~talnly do no~. DANNY STARTS FOR BEDROOMo D~NNY Thank yo~. MARGARET FoU2teen years~ DISSOLVE= II° FITH01 0072'883
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12, INT. LIVING ROOM DANNY ENTERS WEARING OID SWEATER AND SLACRSo }~ 18 CARRYING A BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE° MARGARET ENTERS FROM EITCREN CARRYING A TP~Y OF CANAPES, MARGARET What sre you reading? DANNY The Book of Knowledge. MARGARET Nevex, say that when I Im osrryln~ a tray° DANNY What's so strange about my reading the Book of Knowledge. MA[~OAEET ItIs kind of llke Esther Nilli~ms skl~ing. ATH01 OO27884
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DANNY Very £unny| MARGARET Speaking of books, RU~ty needs a new encycl~edia. DANNY What for? Let him walk to school like I did. MARGA~ Thatl~ wh~e you m~s~ have heard that Joke, DANNY It's not ~he Joke, itIB the delivery that ao~ts a~ ~hat~s my buslne~sD YOURS is ~o delive~ the food. MARGARET I have pate de role ~&s toni~t. DANNY Wells why dcn~t ~ou gaz~le and maybe it wonlt bother ~ou, MABGARET That~ goose ~ive~ p~ste, And ~uld bet~e~ hurry a~d ~et ~eady, P~ofesso~ Wllloby will be here a~ minute. DANNY I'm readyo MARGAAET ¥ou~Pe goln~ to wear thos~ awful clothes9 ATH01 O0,"?B 85
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DANNY you ever see Einsteln? {h~ MUSSES HZS HAIR) Th3~s &s prao~es]ly forma~ ~o~ him° None off us In~e]le~t~sls worry about clo~hes, M~RGAF~T you oant~ 8o ~h~ t~ me. Wha~ will ?rofesBor Willoby th~nk I1m married ~o? DANNY I d~nl~ see any pu~nt &n ~ett~ng all d~eBsed ~p JUS~ beeause thIB fellow happens to be a prQfesBo~ ~hatI~ a~. These ~lo~es ar~ g~od enough fo~my£~i~nd~, they're good enough for h l m, MARGARET YOu oan ente~alny.2u_~fr~en~ Ill Overalls ~s lon~ 8~ there1~ s&laml on th~ table| B~t ~ou ~snlt receive 8 member o~ a u/llve~s~ fao~y dresse~ llke ~hat~ DOORBELL RINGS~ MARGARET There l~e is~ Ohen~e yo~ c~a~hes and IIl~ ~nswe~ ~be do~. RUSTY ENTERS THE ROOM, DANNY I'll a~swe~ ~ ~us~ ~he way ~ am!
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DANNY OPEN8 DOOR ~VEALING PROFESSOR WILLOBY, WHO IS WEARING ALMOST T~ IDENTICAL OLD SWEATER AND SLACKS AS DANNY, PBOF~DSOM HOw do ~ou do, IIm Professor Willoby, DANNY Kid, bring OU~ the sa~aml, PROFESSOR BeE your pardon? DANNY Come on in, Prof -- lim Danny Willism~. PROFESSOR Excuse ~e for the way I 10ok. But I w~s working v~ry ha~d at home on some ~ew theories conce~ing Socrstesl philosophy and didnlt realize the time, So I dldn'~ ~hance. Hence the attire~ D~N~ We Einsteins never ~ealize the Zlme, do we? I was wo~ci~g my~@lr. Hence my attire. MARG~P2T This is Rusty° RUSTY How do ~ou do~ sir. PROFESSOR Hello, Rusty, My, wh~t a nice big bo~. AT~O'J O077B L~ 2
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HE DOES. BUSTY I drink p~enty of milk for the calcl~m a~d eat spiDsch fo~ the iron which glves me good borne structure. PROFESBOR (TO MARGARET) Not only blE but bright, RUSTY Itm big like my father, but l'm bright like -- DANNY Never mind. Come on, sit down, ProfessO~Q MARGARET Yes, sit down here. TERRY ENTERS. TERRY I csn't find my encyclopedla from L to T, Mother. RUSTY Daddy had it. T~RRY That's silly, what would Daddy be doing with it? DANNY (SORE) ~ had to Eet aome~hlng f~om the ~loset shelf so I stood on it. 16. FIT:WO I 002?888
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17, MARGA~T (QU~CltDy) Tbls IB ou~ 01de~t, p~ofessor, Terz~Jb PROFESSOR How do you do~ Mies Wi111~m~, TERRY How do ~ou do? PRO.~E~SOR Letls see who you l~ok li~e, TE~I My mother. DANNY There's a gold fIeh In Rust~8 ~oom that looks ~ust llke me. P~OFESSOR YO~ knc~s Mr, W~llIBmsj Izve been lookln~ fo~ard ver~ muoh to ~eetln~ you, DANNY Well, I suppose you heard I was an ao~or and you wondered W~Bt in ~he w~rld yWe~d find in common to talk about? DANNY CROSSES TO BACK OF SOFA BEHIND PROFESSOB° HE SURREPTITIOUSLY TAKES SOME OF TME NOTES ~ COPIED 01~ OF HIS POC~T~ DANNY (CONT'D) Net Peallzln~ that in spite of th8 arduou~ hours I spend on the 8ta~e, I devote much time in the Gultlvatlon (MOHE)
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D~NNY (CONT'D) of my mind. YOu probably think we donlt even ~peak thB 8sme language. (F~AD~NG FROM NOTE) The use of lanKuege Is not confined to its being the me~iun~ through which we comm~ioat~ cur ideas to one another. Language fulfulls a no hess Important f~ctlon as an instrument of thought. Yes, interesting sub~oGt# lanugage, (~EADI~!G) On the other hand, you take tungsten, a rare heavy g~eyish white e!~ment of the chromium group found combined in certain mlnera~s. PROFESSOR Lan~ue~e end tungsten, ¥outre a remarkably well-lnfo~ed men° TE~Y He Just reed the BOOk of Knowledge f~o~ L to T~ RUSTY Ask hl~ abou~ zebras and hers sunk. DANNY (GLARING AT RUSTY) Bless you, my child. MAROAF2T SIT~ ON 3BFA NEXT TO PROFESSOR. THE CHILDREN PIAN0. 18. SET ON FLOOR CLOSE TO THEM. DANNY SETS AT ~'l'N01 0022890
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MARGARET professor Willob~t the~eTs something about the Areopagus Xtd llke to know, PROFESSOR The Highest Court of Ancient A~nens? MARGARET Yes. But why was it oalled that? PROFESSOR It was so named from its situation on the H~ll of Sre~ or Ma~s° TERRY We're ~udyln~ the p~amet~ in school now, Sod of War, after him, Mams wa~ the Roman They named the planet BUSTY Venus is the brightest of the planets~ I know tha~, P~OFESSCR Very good, Bu~ty° ~ROAEET (TO RUSTY) Venus was the Roman g~ddes~ ~f ]o~e 8nd bea~ty~ corresponding to the Oreek Aph~odlte. DANNY STANDS UP AND PASSES IN FRONT O~ THEM, 19. ATX01 OOPPB9 1
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---
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MARGARET Dan~y, must you? PROFESSOR Please, Mrs+ Willi~ms, donft interrupt him. Whatever your husband Bay~, he fi~d~ me his d~voted ~udlence° DANNy Really? PROFESSOR Yes, llve s~en you perform ~n~ consider you a ms step o~ the $poke~ ~Ordo Y~u~ wo~d p~ct~eB a~ ao vividly painted that one actually lives every moment o~ yg~r sto~y. DANNY You hear that? Listen to wnst the ~n ~ays. PRCFESSOE A~ a m~tter o~ fact~ I ~me here tonight hoping to borrow a ~ew t~in~ets from you~ cQlle~ti~n of verbal J~wels+ DANNY Any~hlng yo~ wan~ to know, M~RGARET S~, anFthln~ f~o~ language to ~s~ten. 21° ....... RTH01 00?'7893
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RUSTY I want to know about zebras. DANNY You he quiet. PROFESSOR You see, Itm going to be the Nas~er of Ceremonies at the Educators~ Convention next month. There will be hundreds of visitors coming from all over the country and I wsnted to come out of my pedantic shell and demonstrate a sense of humor. So I would l~ke yCU to teach me t~mt sto~q ynu do abo~t the man wheW~ rldlng across the country on 8 Greyhound bus. DANNY You hear that, Margaret, the Professor wants to do my bus routine, My bus routine. Now, w~it a minute. You donlt -~%derstand how ID 18 with special material, it18 hard to get, You tell my story in front of h%~%dred8 o£ people from OUt of town. Then they come to see me, hear me tell the same story and say, how do you like that, he stole it from the professor, I1m sorry, I Just canlt do It~ 22. Q'r~01 0022894
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PROFESSOR But It's Just a little story. DANNY Little story| FQ~ your information, that ~tory was never w~itten, it wss compiled. Why don!t you ask me for the bread out of my mouth, Why donTt yOU ~sk me FOr one of my ehi~dreno AB a matter Of ~aots I!d llke you t~ a~k me fo~ one of my children, And I'd ~e you the she whols so interested in zebras. DO you r~allze what you!re asklng? PEOFESSOR I donTt understand why youI~e so incensed. Itls ~ot BS if ~ were ~skln~ Shakespeare to give me King Lear. DANNY live seen that show and, believe me, they oould use a f~w l~uEhs, PROFEBSOR Dontt you think itls rather p~esumptuous Of you~ with your meager baQ~Grounda ~O Criticize Shakespeare ? MARGARET NOW, ~entleme~ -- please -- 23. RT~01 00??895
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Wh~t me~r baok~'o~da ~6¢au~e plenty. I'm up on ever~th~.n~. 11m smarter than a lo'G of tho~e ¢o~.leBe kldB ~olve got nothSn~ o~ thelr m1~d~ 1~ut a Crew ha~.rc~| ~ so happens ~Qso~y ~s one of my favorite ~u~ie~] I c~ul~ a ~ec~u~ ~heyld ~.ever fo~ I w~l~In1~ th~nk of depraving them of Bueh an e~l~.ghteI~g op~o~t~.ty. Why don!~G ~ou ~o ~t? DANNY ~eca~e I donlt hav~ t~e ~B~ ~eli~ve me, w~.id ho~Be~ could~1~ keep me from do~-~g ~.~° P~OF~SSOR ~ut t~.~ ~cbool ~ Ju~ two b~ocl{B DANNY (STARTLED) TWo b~o~]¢s? 24. RTX01 0077B96
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MAR~A~T ~Itch up bhe w~Id ho~es. DANNY YOU donJt bhln~ Z*d ~o, hu~? I'd jum~ ab ~h~ ch~noe ~u~ bhcy'd never l~ me do ~o "Im~Ines'" ~i~eyld s~yj "a saloon oo~Io le~turln~ on Plato and A~Is~otle~" wouldn,t wan~ ~o ~t you ~ trouble wl~h the faculty. PROFESSOR I~ w111 no t~ouble a~ all. ~'II Inv~e them ~o a~tend ~u~ ~e~%u~e! Shall we sa~ -- ~omo~ow r~h~? DANNY RU~TY You ~us~ ~ot ~Ime enough to ~e~ o~t o£ ~own. DANNY ~C~ ~s ~hat so... W~ll, I'll show all of yO~o Itll Drep~e 8 papor on phllosoph~ ~nd dellve~ i~ and ~hen 1its ~ll ove~, I*ll have ~h~m addressln~ me as RUSTY (SINGINO) ~oola boo~, boola bool&° DISSOLV~ ~0~ 25. ...... F~'I" :,( 01 00??89;'
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26. INT, LIVING ROOM DANNY IS DP,ESSED AND WORKING ON SOME PAPERS ON T~ LIVING NOOM TABLE, F~ RGA F~T (OFF) Hurry up, dear. You don't want to be late to read your speech to the clsss° DANK"f All right, all right. Leave hie aloDe 8 minut~. MARGAP~ET (OFF) Whst+s the matter? YOU DANRY Me nervous? Ha, that's a isugh. HE PICKS UP P~PERS WITH SHAKING HANDS, DROPPING THEM ALL OVER AND PICKING T~M UP AGAIN. I~E PLACES T~M UNDER CUSHION OF SOFA. FJTXO 1 00?7898
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DANNy Ma~garet~ Margaret! MARGARET ENTEES FROM BEDROOM. MARGAF~T Wharfs th~ matter? DANNI~ My pspe~, my speech° Xtls gon~. I ~an~t find it. It was right on the table he~° MARGARET Don't get exclted° We'll fimd • t, Xt~s in th~ house ~omewhere. DANNY No, it £s~It~ ~omeem~ thr~hW i~ out° There you ~e. Now~ ~ wo~It be able to read it. Well, that,s how it is~ Just when ~ Waz ~e~dy to ~tartle the whole unlqe~sltyl MARGARET Terry° R~Styo KIDS ENTER. TERRY Yes, Mother? RUSTY Whst did we do now? MAROA~T Did you ~ee you~ fatherfs Bpeech that he1~ supposed to read tonight? ~7.
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28. BOTH NO, RUSTY What dld he do -- hide it? DANNY Rusty~ What a horrible, suspicious mind you have. TERRY WeZll find it. DANNY Yeah, 10oR apot~d. RE JUMPS ON SS~A AND STBETC~S oL'r. THE OTHERS START LOOKING AROUND ROOM. DANNY Itls gone. Gust llke eve~y~hAns dlssppeams in this house. MARGARET The least MOU can do is help us. Come on. Get off the sofa. Itls here somewhere. SHE DRAGS HIM OFF SOFA. THE OUSHIOH GOES WITH HIM. RUSTY SPOTS THE PAPERS. RUSTY Here it is. (HANDS IT TO HIM) W~ll, aren't you ~oin~ to thsnk me ? DANI~Y I canlt quite find the words. HE CI~OSSES TO BEDROOMs MARGARET FOLLOWS. OTH01 OOP?900
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INT. MASTER BEDROOM ~RGAEET D~nny, you dldnCt really hide it there, did you? DANNY Me? Why would I wont to do a bhln@ like that? MARGARET Like the little boy who gets a pain in his stomach so he doesnl~ bare to tske hls tests at school, DANNY I never dld s thing llke tl]at in my lice. CROSSES LISTLESSLY TO MIRROR° HE FICKS UP A TIE AhD STARTS TO PUT IT ON. MABGA~T ENTERS BEHIND HIM. ~THO~ 007P901
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MARGARET youlve already o~_~ one tie on. DANb~ (STARTLED) Oh, Yeah, yeah. (TAKES TIE OFF~ START3 OUT, STOPS) 0oh. M~gare~. 0oh. (GRABS STOMACH) IIve got an awful pain, MARGaReT Where~ DAN~ (INDICATING) Right here. M~ appendix. MARG~F~ET Thetis interesting, you had it removed ~ou.? yea~s ago. DANNY Maybe It's moved back In. MARGARET Danny, if you're so f~Ightened shout reading what you've written why donlt you sdmlt it and aall it all off? There's no reason fo~ you to stand up i~ f~ont of the class and make a laughing stock of yourself, DANNY STRAIGhtENS UP. 30. RTH01 00??902
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Oh. huh? DAH~ So thst13 what you think, MARGARET I'ii tell professor Wil]ohy you had to le~ve ~o~ suddenly or something. °. DA~Y Dever rs~ out on a~ ~Hio~e ~et. ITm DOt goin~ to be~In with Frofessor Wiiloby° TP~ CHILDREN ~NTER~ Good luck on you~ s_ceech, D~ddy° DAN~Z Thsnk~° TERRY KISSES HIM. RUS~f Here, D~ddy~ yc~ msy zeed th~. ~ DANNY ~ND M~RG~F~T EXIT, DISSOLVE TC: 31. fr ATe01 00P7903
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32, INT. COLLEGE CLASSROOM A STUDENT IS JUST FINISHING BEADING HIS PAPER. STUDENT (NE~DING) "In summation, it may be ssid that platots main u~de~ly~ng throught is the development of a rational mo~al personslitY,~t HE STEPS DOWN TO POLITE APPI~USE, AS PEOFESSOR WILLOBY GET~ TO HIS FEETo P~OFESSOR Very ~ood, Robe~. And nowj students~ it Elves me Ereat pleasure to turn over the class to our ~uest lecturer of the evening, that emini~nt expert on Lstins Greek~ and bu~ li~es°.. Mr. Daniel Williams, Who ~i ~ad 8 pspe~ to you on ~he origins o~ the Greek Philosophers°
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33, D~N~FK GETS NERVOUSLY TO HIS FEET AND CROSSES TO FRONT OF CLASS~ ~ITH HIS PAPER. DANNY (P~ADING) The Gre~ N~i~oso~h~rs, (CLEARING THROAT) Th~ Greek Fhilosopb~s. Be~InDing with the Aristotelian -- ( HAS TROUBLE WITH THE WORD) -- Aristotellan... (LOOKS HELPLESSLY AT THE PAPERj TEARS IT IN HALF) TWO hours I wasted in t~e llb~,ery~ I can't even say It| All ~Igh~. SO what's so ImpoPtant 8bout Ohilosophers? A ~ouple of years a~o ~ newspape~ c~t!0 Caught ~?~ act ~nd wrote -- (INTO PEILOSOPP~R ~OUTINE~ AT CONCLUSION, EVEN PEOEESSOR NII~LOB¥ APPLAUDS AS WE, DISSOLVE TO: ~T~01 007?905
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T}~ AMERICAN TOB&CC0 CO. FALL MALL FAMOUS CIGARETTES OPEN ON MEDIUM SHOT OF COUPLE DANCING ON ROMANTIC BALCONY SET~ IN RHTTRM THEY C0~TINUE DA~INS CAMERA PANNING WITH TF~M THEY C0~INUE D~,NCING, CAMERA MOVING ~ CLO~ER CAMEH~ DOLLYS ~ TO MCU AS TPFEY PAUSE. ~J2~ OFFERS GIRL A FALL MALL AND LYGHTS IT FOR ~ER MAN ALSO LIGHTS CIGARETTE AND THEY P~FF WITH RELISH - HOLD UP CIGARETTES AND LOOK AT ~MEIR GREATER LENGT~ DINS TC ANIMATED CIGARETTE SMOKE AR~0!4S PASSING TEqU, NAME '~PA~L MALL" AB0~ AND SUPER "FINE TOBACCO YS ITS OWN BEST FILTER" BENEATH FAD~ OUT SUPER IN SCEN~ 6 AND SUP~ "THE F/NEST QUALITY MONEY CAN BUY" FAD~ OUT SUPER IN SCENE 7 AND FADE IN SHORT CIGARETTE BENEATH PALL Y~LL BOTH CIGARETT~ SHRINK IN 8YZE~ BUT PAIL ~LL R~AINS LONGER EXTEND PALL MALL AND SHO,qT CIGAR- ETTE TO ORIGINAL LENGTHS AND HIGH- LIGHT ~ALL MAIL. SUPER "MOST SUCCESSFUL" EXTEND SHORT CISARETTE TO LONG CONTINUE EIC~NEIGUTINS PALL MAL~. SUFER "MOgT IMITATND". DIES TO COUPLE ON BALC~NY..A MEDIUM SHOT. BOTh. ARE SMOKING DOLLY IN TO CLOSER SHOT DIES TC ECU nF PACK AND SUPER: OUTSTANDING . ~ND THEY ARE MILD:" TV COMMERC~AL #99 ONE MINUTE (SINGrNG OFF SCREEN) " ~rels a suggestion you sho~ldntt forget! When you ehoo~e the right ~Irl Choose the ~ight cigarette. For those ~oments of pleasure When dancing'8 been ~well.- ~elax and enjoy yourBelf - light a PELL MELL I PEtE MELL...P~DL MEaL . smoke finer and milder FELL ~ and ANECR: (V.O.) P~LL MELL is longe~, yes - but re~ter length i~ only half the s~rry. Fine tobacco is its ow~ best filter and PELLM~ tobaccos - - ape the finest quality money can buy, And look how PELL MELL+8 g+eater length travels the smoke further - . filters the smeke naturally, and makes it mil~. In fact, your appreciation of PELL MELL ~uality - - h~s ~ade it Amerioa~s mo~t successful - - most imitated cigarette. Choose well~ Smoke FELL MELL! pELL MELL Famous Cigarettes - Outstanding - ar~ they are mild~ £1TN01 007?906
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2b. INT. LI%~NG ROOM - DAY THE FAMILY IS SEAweED, LCOK~NG A~ DAN~Y .DF~IRINGLY. And believe it o~ not~ children, the h~st talk on Philosophy ~nyone h~d eve~ dellvered in DANNY F~om here on~ donJ~ c~11 ~ '~D3dd~o" J~t~ "The BrBin.~r THE DOOH~LL RIN~ ~T AN3W~S IT, F~VE~LING FROFES~OR WILLCBY, ~ood mornlng, M~s. W~211am~, (TO ~NNY) Mr. ~illism~ -- I Just wan~ you ~o knDw ~ w~s ~ se~at~on ~ )-)'I01 O07PgO?
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55. DAN~S Well, that1~ Just g~eat, P~ofessor. PROFESSOR I wonde~ if you oould do me a great favor? One o~ my ool~eg~ae~ w~s so ~mpres~ed, he wsntb to k~ow ~f youfll ~esch h~_~m the s~ry next? DANNY I1d be Elad to. PROFESSOR He's right outside, (GOES TO DOOR) CCme in; profesRop, AND A MAN ENTERS WITH BUSHY %~ITE HAIR, S%~ATSEIHTI AND SLACKS, AND IF YOU DIDNITE~4OUT BbT~GET~ YOU WOULD SWEAR IT WAS AleRT EINSTEIN. nIMMEL?. ON DAN~S A~TD :~RSARET~S F~EACTIONs FADE OUT, T~END ATe01 00;'?908
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THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW ~8A (58) "~ROOM FOR DADDY" Working Title| "Father-Son Show" Written by MAC BKNOFF F3T ~(01 0027909
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"MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY" D~#SSA (58) Worklng Title: "Father-Son Show" CAS___TT DANNy...,., ..... , ...... ,..,DANNY THOMAS MARSABET..,o,..,,,.o,..,,.,JEAN HAGEN TERRy.....,,,,.,...,, ..... ,S~RBY JACKSON RUSTY...... ...... ,,.,.,.,..RUS~Y HAiR LOUISE...,, .... ,,, ..... ,,,, . FIRST FATRRR.........o..,,. SEGOND FAT}~M,.. .... , ..... , THIRD FATHER,.,,.,,,,..o... SETS INT. KITCHEN INT. MASTER BEDROOM INT. LIVINS ROOM INT. CLASSROOM INT. AUDITORIUM AI"HO 1 00;'7910
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"MA}~ ROOM FOR DADDY" ~#28A (58) Wor~ng Tltle: Father-Son Bhow INT. MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT DANNY AND MARGARET ARE IN THEIR BEDS, MARGARET you owe ~OUr BOn mope thsn ~oo~ and board. You owe him perBonel attention. You want him to grow up hating you? DANNY I'll take that chBnoe! DANNY TURNS OFF LIGHTo MARGARET TURNS IT ON AGAINI MARGARET Maybe you're willing to take ohance8 with you~ son's ~ffeo$1on, bus I'm AT:KO 1 007'7911
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5, DANNY Lisben, my father brDught ~ ~p with an iron hand. ~en he slapped me, he d~dn'$ give me the ¢o~tesy to bend ove~ to do it. He picked me up by the hai~ and held me at eye ~evel and gave ~t to me ~hePe. And I dldn~$ wind up hating him. DANNY TURNS OFF LIGHT. MARGARET TURNS IT ON AGAIN. MARGABET I1m not finished Net. I have more ~0 Bay. DANNY Canlt you say it with the liF.pht of 29 MARGARET NO. I want you to look at me, DANNY I know whaD you lo0k llke. MARGARET I Bald, I want you to look at me. D~NNY I suppose you want me to lose sleep, get bags undeP m~ eyes, so wh%n I get up on the night club floor I look llke a cocker spaniel. ATe01 0077912
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MARGARET I don't c~re If you look llke a Saint Bernard, but youlve gob to pay attention to your son. DANNY do Ray ~ttention to him. MABG~ET Did you know you~ Ben started a £1re at sohool? A ~Iny one, of course, but somebody turned in an alarm and they emptied the whole building, DANNy Thatt~ probably the o~ly way he=ll get out of the third ~rade. ~RGARET I em no~ amused, And neA~be~ wa6 the p~inolpal° You pay mo~e attention to his slster than you do to hlm. DANNY do ~o~, MARGARET And every book on the subject states that It's perfectly natural tier a father to favor a daughter. But when A~ b~gi~s ~o e~fe~ b~s 8on18 ad~u~tmentj It'~ time £or him to admit that he'~ a father of two Instea~ of one. RT~01 0077913
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DANNY Margaret, looka I know ~ get mgd at Rusty bU~, honeet~ I -- love ~he 11ttl~ ~eas~° Maybe even more ~hen Te~ry... I guess becsuse I w88 a little beest myself when I was hi~ a~e°.° what do you want me to do? MARGARET YOu've got to mtop Jumplng ~n the poor ch$1d for every little thlng he does an~ B~s. A~d mtop mmklng BUsh a fUSB OVGr hls $1ster In f~ont of hSm. DANNY Okay, okSy. ~ dldnlt realize he w~s ~o SenB1tive. Itls just hard to ploture that under those layers of mu~ and peanut butter there be~ts the heart of a poet. MARGARET ~o~ve ~ot to be ~Ith hi~ mo~e, play with him, t~k~ him outj f~vor h~m a i~ie -- he ~eed~ ~t desperstely. DANNY l'll t~ke him down $o the night olub ~ext ~Ime ~ work ~n ~o~. ~o F~ I'XO ~/ 00775114
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r~BGARET I don't mean thatS I mean spend some time with him llke other fathers do with their boys, Manplay, DANNY Manplsy? What's that? MARGAEET Take him trout Plshlng or duck hunting or somethln~. DANNY In Oentral Park? MARGARET Well,.. maybe EOU could buy a toy oarpen~er set and show him how to saw 8 place of wood. DANNY And that'll stop him from setting fire to the schoolhouse? You want me to ~et him a oarpente~ set, Herd probably saw me in half. gldj why donlt you stop readln6 those books on ohild psysholo~. MARGARET I could write one on adult stupidity ,,, He needs youj Danny, I'm Ju6$ a woman, Therels only so mush I can de for a growing boy. Hels Eet~Ing to the age now where he needs a ~sn~s attentlon~ he need8 his father. RT~01 0077915
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6. DANNY Maybe you're right.., I keep thinking hels 8 baby... IIll try to be a real pal. First thing tomorrow I'll get that carpentry set you were talking about and we'll do that -- whatever you said... MARGARET Manplay] Thank you! SHE KIsSEs HIM, DANNY Now, thls Is the kind of manplay I understand. MARGARET TL~RNS OUT LIGHT, DANNY TURNS IT ON AGAIN, MARGARET WhatTs the ides? DANNY I thought we mig~ht have some more of that manplay. DISSOLVE TO: ATX01 OOPP916
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T~ AMFRTCAN TOBACCO SO. PALL MALl FANOU3 CYGASETTES STOCK SHOT OF MARLIN~ BATTLI~G L~ FAST DT$S TO FULL SHOT OF MAN oN FISH GIRL W=H START D&LY N DOLLY IN CLOSER TO N~N AND FISH~ A8 ]&~N LIGHTS PALL MALL HE SMOHES WITH PLEASURE DISZ TO AEZ~%TED 0IGANETTE SMOHE ARR0~,~ PASSING THRU~ ND24E ']PALL MALL" ABOVE Ah~ SUPER "FINE T0~ACC0 TS ~S OWN BEST FILTER" PE~gAT~ FADS OUT SUPER IN SCENE ~ AND SUPER "T~ FI;EST QUALITY MONEY CAN BUY" FADE 05~ SUPER IN SCENE 6~ AND F.h~E IN SHORT CTGAHBTTE BENEATH PALL HALL BOTH CIGARETTES RERIHE IN 8IZE~ BDT PALL Y~LL REMAINS LONGER EXTEND P'~L M<LL & SHORT 0IGAR- ETTE TO TRISTNAL LENGTHS AND HIGHLIGHT PALL MALL. SUPER "MOST SUCCESSFUL" EXTEND SHORT CIS/,RETTE TO LONG~ CONTINUE HIGHLIGHTING PALL MALL. SUPER " nq M _T IMITATED". DI$S TO CU OF PHOTOGRAPH ALBUM IN N~%NfS }L%ND, SRO"IING CU OF PHOTO TAKEN IN S~,ENE 2. HTS HAND HOLDS SN0~ING ~IGAHETTE. PULL BACK \~'D ?'~N AROUND TO TWO SHOT OF MAN & ~JINE BOTH SMOKING AND LS~G AT ALBHE ~T DISS TO EuK OF P~CK INk SUPER: "OUTSTANDING - '.ND THEY ARk NIT, D:" TV COMMERCIAL #97 ONE MINUTE (SOUND OF WATER AS MARLIN THRASHES AT END OF LINk) ANNCR: When the big fish is hooked... .,,and you finally land him - w • - with the pleasure Smeke an~ ~ and PELL PELL MELL is longe~I yes - but Er~a~er length ~s only half the s~ory. Fine tobacco is its owa best filte~ and PELL YELL tobaccos - - ~re the finest quality money can buy. And look hew P~LL MELL'S greate~ length travels the smoke further - - filters the smoke nat~ally~ and makes ~t mild. In faot~~our appreelatlon of PELL MELL qua~ity - - has made it Amerloa's most successful.. - most imitated cigarette. It's your ei~arette...flne tobacco blended to a flavo~ peak.,, distlnctiv~ly PELL YELL. So reward yourself . with a smooth- ~ess~ m~id~ess and satisfaction no other oigarette ~an offer yo~. Buy PELL MELL Famous Cisamettes... Outstanding , nnd they ape mild2 F~T~O 1 002?912
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7, INT. LIVING ROOM - DAy SHOP SMITH IS IN CENTER OF ROOM. PIECE OF WOOD° AS CARPENTERS. Heyf DANNY IS SAWING RUSTY IS WATCHING. THEY ARE ATTIRED MAROABET ENTERS FROM STREET. MARGARET Hey: (DANNY TUENS OFF SAW) What a~e you doin@? DANNy M~nplay! Isn't this a great machlne ? HE HITS IT AND CUTS FINGER OH SAW BLADE. DANNy OH: RUSTY bANDS HIM A BANDAID° HE PUTS IT ON FINGER, REVEALING OTHER FINGERS WITH EANDAIDS° RUSTY We're playlng carpenter. F~T)401 007?918
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MARGAF~T Look~ mQre like youlre plsying ped cross, What on earth did you buy all this for~ DANNY I give you m~ word, all I aske~ fo~ waB ten cent8 worth of nails. MAROARBT And you got all thSs? DANNY ~he guF a~ ~he hardware s~oz~ uaed ~o be ~ F~l~o~ ~us~ sa~e~m~n. MAn.BET I Just ho~e you ~rop in some day when he~s puBhing mlnk coats~ DANNY That's the time when It11 buy ten cents worSh Of na~ig. MARGARET Let me put these g~oceries 8wa~. I donlt want to mls8 sn~ o~ this. MARGABET EXITS TO KITCHEN. DANNY Well, 8onw do~ house. How is ~he dog ~oin~ to get in? Th~FeJB ~o doo~. 8, f~T)403 0027919
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9, DANNY We'll out that in later. First, let's get the wb01e thing together. I'll get inside and hold ~he roof down while you nail it down. RUSTY But, Deddy -- DANNY Rusty, do what I tell you, RUSTY But, Daddy, will you -- DANNY Rusty, donlt give ~e an argthmSnto Do what I tell you. DANNY GETs INSIDE DOG HOUSE ANDADJU~TS ~OOF 0~R HIMo DANNY All right, Rusty, hall it down. RUSTY SH~[~8 AND D~I~8 I~ FIRST NAIL. MARO~P~ ENTERS. MARGARET Where's Dsddy? RUSTY Hels holding down ~be ~oof. MAROARET From InSlde?¸ RUSTY It was his idea. RUSTY DRZVES IN ~0T}~B NAIL. RUSTY Is i~ okay now, Daddy? ~T~O~ O0??920
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I0° D~NNY It'8 a little loose on this side. MARGAF~T Allow me| RUSTY HANDS HER HAMMER AND NAILS, ~RGAF~T Letls use a bigger na$1° RUSTY G~VESP~R LARGER N~ILWHICH S~ DRIVES INTO ROOF, D~NNY That's perfect. Now it's nice and tight. NQF, wait a mlnutel I thing we did it wrong. MARGARET Youlll excuse us, dear, it's time £or Rustyt8 lunch. DANNY Margaret, donlt you dar6. Margaret! ~garet| A~f! Arf| RUSTY We better let him out b~fore he has pups, DISSOLVE TO: ~THO? 0077921
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iI. INTo KITCHEN - DAY DANNY, M~HGARET, RUSTY AND TERRY A~ SEATED. IS SERVING. DANNY Want some, son? RUSTY Thanks, Daddy. (}~ TAE~S, HANDS IT BACK) How about you? DANNY (TAI(ING IT) Thanks. (HE LEAVES IT AT HIS SIDE AS THE TWO WOMEN WATCH IN CONS~RNATION) Some bl"eadt BOI'%? RUSTY Thanks, Daddy. (PASS UP AND BACK AS BEFOF~) care for any? LOUISE RTH01 00??922
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DANNY Sure do. (THEY PASS THINGS UP AND BACK, FORGETTING T~ OTHERS) What about some delicious sFrup? yl~n, 5n~m. RUSTY O.K. ytu~, yum. IT'S A REAL CORNY BIT. MARGARET yum, ~, my eye. If you two don't stop belng ~o polite we'll s~a~ve to death, DANNY Oh. Sorry. (KE PASSES IT TO THEM) TERRY Dsddy, would you llke to hear my poem? It starts like this -- DANNY You know, RUSS, next welll build a blrd house. RUSTY Oh, beyl DANNY We'll build it all from the outside, TERRY Daddy -- you want to hesP this poem? 12, FITMO 1 00?P923
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DANNY I bet we could build a totem pole! TERRy Daddy! DANNy And I know how ~o st~r~ it, too, MARGARRT Danny! Father Of two, remember? It works both ways. D~NY What do you wan~? What am I dolng ~ong? TERRY I wrote a poem 8nd I'd llke to get your opinion of it. DANNY Excuse me, go rIEht ahead. TERRY (READING) "A Tree." "A tmee is like a person, WhO spreads his arms above, With branches green and strong, It holds the world with love." HOW do you llke it9 DANNY youtre a regular George Bernard Longfellow. But I bet my son, Rusty, could do better. CouldnIt you, Russ? 13, ATX01 002?924
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RUS~ Sure. Listen to this: "A pea~ sat On a ~a11~oad traok~ Ibm he~t was all a-f~utte~, Along o~me a choo ohoo t~aln -- Choo choo -- peanut butter|" LOUISE (LIKE G~ ~AT BOY NINE 81L~ER DOLLAR~) Give that boy the Pulltze~ Prlze! MARGARET Yess ~d~ds ~el~ a regu~a~ ~e~ry Wadsworth Shaw. DAVY I'll ~ank yo~ not ~o~ke fun RUSTY ~ince yo~ ~n ~h a good ~od, Daddy~ he~el8 a ~ote from Miss Anderson~ mF p~i~cipsl. MARGAF~T R~sty, don~t tel~ me youl~e in ~oubl~ agsin. ~RY ~ll say. He~s nailed up the ~rl~l room. MARGARET YOU and you~ ver~bunckene~ csr~ent~j set! 14. AI'H01 00??925
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DANNY So Itls a little practlc81 joke... TERRy With the principal in It| DANNY Rusty, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. RUSTY Thatts not what the note's ebout. DANNY It~ about somethlns else? (TA~S NCTE) I'm af~ald t~ look. MARGARET (TA~S NOTE FROM DANNY) Give it tc me. (OPENS NOTE, READS) Dea~ Mr. Willla~s... our ~DO~ is ho1~ng i~s ~as~ lather and Son meeting o£ the tQrm an~ since you are the only father who ha~ nev~ 8t~en~edj We wo~Id a~pPe~late your presence. It IB a b~ example to childre~ to hav~ their fathers pl~y hcokey. RUSTY So that's where I get itl ~ARG~RET (TO DANNy) You'd better report for class th.~i~ tlme~ 15. RT:KO 1 00?P926
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DANNY I~d be ~lad to. MARGARET (READING) It will be held a week form ThUraday... DANNY A week from Thursday -- oh no.~ I open in New Orlean~ a week from Friday| MARGARET So you'll leave here after the father-son show ThUrSday n~Kht. DANNY But ~Ive got to rehearse Friday mo~nlng. I wonlt ~et any sleep. MARGARET SO you wonlt get any sleep. It won,t kill you. DANNY You wann~ be~1 Look -- thl$ hsa gone far enough. The New Orleans date ia my Job -- donTt you want me to make a livln~? MARGAF~T What for? llve? If this is the way we RUSTY You got to do it. Dsddy° 16. ~I"~01 002292?
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DANN~ Look, I donlt mind manplaying, being buddy-buddy with you, rlsklng m~ llfe to play with you. I cut my hand, my finger -- my arm with all those tools. Any decent kid would Just 8tlok a knife in his old man and get it over with~ But no -- your plan is $o let me bleed to death -- slowly -- so you aan enjoy It| I dontt want to play with you any more -- I donlt have enough insurance! TERRy May 1 please h~ve a little sttentlon in this ho~se or don~t I llve here any more. DAh~Y WhatVs your pFoblem? TERRY I told you, Deddy, I have to prepare a poem for my Engllsh class to... DANNY I did listen to it. 17. ATe(01 00??928
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18. T~BRY Th~s is another one. "Brother, sister, father mother OUr family's finer than any other The Williams' homers like Heaven above For all is Joy and peace and love." DANNY Get out %f here! TERRY YOU don't love me any more! SHE STAMPS OFF. DANNY (TO BUSTY) Look Rusty, I can't make this father-son Show, you Understand, don't you? RUSTY SUre I Understand -- ~ou dontt love me an~ mo~e, DANNY (AFTER A PAUSE, TO MARGARET) llve got Just two words of advice tO all fathers. MARGARET What's that? DANNY Kill yourself. MARGARET Not until after the father-son show. DISSOLVE TO: ATH01 OO,~7929
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THE AMERICAN T~E~CCm C~. IALL MALL ~f.M~JS CI9 /]ETTES OPEN OH MEDIUm4 ~HCT OF CHAP~ELL STANDING BEFr~RE ~I~EPLACE IN CLUB LIERAHY. HE ADDRESg ASDILT;CE D IRECTIJf. DOLUf IN ~LIS~TI'f AS ~ Tf~ES PACK OF PAIL MALLS FP,¢,M TABLE AND HOLDS T~IEM TOW'd:D~ CAME,qA. DOLLY i~I FURTI{~.R AS HE TIKES SINGLE CIGARETTE FROM P~'~/ & HOLDS IT TO~'~ILDS CAMillA DTSS TO ANIMATED CIGARETTE SMOKE ~ERO',r8 PASSING T:~U~ M&~4E '~PALL MALL" ABOVE ~TD ~UPER "FINE TOB<CCO IS ITS 0+~ BEST FILT~q" BENEATH. S,~x ~ { IN FADE CUT "~" SCENE k~ IND SUPER "THE FINEST QUALITY HONEY CAN BUY", FXDE OUT SUPER ~'}: SCENE ~ & V/~E IN SHORT C~CANETTE EENEATH PALL MALL. BOTH CIG;,~ETTE8 3TART BURNING. BOTH CIGARETTF, S SMOHS D~3' ~T SIZ~ BUT FALL ~t',LL :~E} .i~:S LONSE~ EXTEITD PALL HAlT & SHORT CT-GAR- R'f'TE TO OqlGINA[ LENGTHS & HIGY~- LIG}~ PALL N~::,. SI~ "MOST SUCCESSF:~," EXTE}rD qHO::T ~IOAq:q~'?R TO LONG, CONTT~HJE ~I~:~IO}:TTT~ P \IL I~ILI,. RUDER "I:¢8T IMYTIT~D''• Q~]IC~ DTSS TO NEDI'~ SHOT ~F CNAPPELL AS HE ~CVE~ T~;'.P~DS CIGAreTTE C~':~ CA~I~A PAN- NI~:O ',~TH HIM AS CHAPPELL ']ONS~ ":" T~ ~IG~qETTE TAKES CI[:T~N ~F i'~,T H!LLTS FROM UNDER Cn~T!:~ '~ HPLD~ T~EM OUT T~ CLUB MEMBER BAC~ TO T~CHT ~]!0T nF C::;XUELL. HE HCLD~ UP ~M~TN~ CIG~7{ETTE TV COI~'E~CIAI, #98 ONE MINUTE For those pleasant mom&nts of the day - when it's time to rOlax- take it easy - reward yoursclf~ Reward yourself with the pleasure of smo-o-th smoking. Smoke longer and finer and milder PELLMELL, Fine tobacco isits own best filter and PEIL YELL tobaccos - - are the f~nest quality money can buy. And look how PELL MELL+S greater length travels the smeEe further - - filters the smoke n~tura~+ly~ and makes ~t mild. In facts yo%u" ~ppre- ciatlon of PELL N/~LL q~elity - - h?.s made it 2~e~ie~s ~ost Successf~:I - - most imitated cigarette. It's oy~ cigarette...flnc tobacco blended to a flavor pcak..,distinc- tlvely PESLLMELL. So reward yourself - with a smooth- ness~ mildness and satisfaction ~o otho~ cigarette can offer you. Choose well - smoke PELL MELL~ (MO~E) 8T)~01 00??930
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DOLIY ISI TO TTGHT SHOT OF DIS- PLAY PIECE ON STt!~) CONE Ii~ TO ECU OF [~OTTOM OF DISPLAY PI~CE~ F~LTURING ~.IORDS~ ,,~STA~O)ING...~.~D THF~I ARE MTLD ~" Buy PELL MELL F~mo1~s Cigarettos - Outstanding - and they are ~J ATH01 00;:'2931
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19. INT. LIVING ROOM DANNY IS ~N TAILS (THE NISHT OF THE SHOW). DANNy Com~ oh, R~sty, we hsv® ~me to Fun though the kit once more be£o~e we l~sv@ fOP the ~how. RUSTY Daddy, wel~e doing It all wronG. DANNY Rusty. I'm makln~ a hie s~o~If1~e to do th~8 thln~ for you. I ma~ not know an~thing about c~rpent~y -- ~ may not know anythln~ about a Io~ of thln~s, but show buBin~ss know plent~ about. We'll do it llk~ I ~old you. So cDme o~, RTH01 00;'2'932
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RUSTYE~RS IN COST~ DANNY ~1~ ~1gh~, s~and over here and I'll make an entrance. THEy DO BIT. AT gONCL~SION, AFTER AppLAUSE: DARv~Y Thatls ~re~t, son. ~USTY But Daddya we're do~n~ it all bANNY H~ve we ~o a~ain! RUSTY But~ Daddy~ Mlss Anderson gave eve~jbody something ~pecial to do. Jimbols father is going to be d~ssed like his aun~ [rom Milwaukee and sin~ a ~ong "~¢tb Jimbo. And TUbbyls father is supposed to be d~essed like an Indian and Tubby is going to recl~e '~HiawsthaII -- a~d Wel~ 3u~po~ed to be ~ather and ~on. We ~r~ ~ather and son, 20. F~THOI 007~"333
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RUSTY But I1m supposed to be thQ fathe~ and youlre supposed to ba the sona and ~ou'rB 8uppose~ t~ sing to ~e T'Be Kind TO your pa~entBo'l DANNY I~ you think ~'m ~oing to wear there, ~ues~ again. I make mY llvlng by g~tti~ up on a sta~ i~ fron~ of people ~nd %'m no~ ~oin~ ~o do it i~ ~ m~nne~ that m~kes ~e look ~Idioulous° YOU do~I$ love me. DAN~¥ on the othe~ foot. ~Tv~ bee~ ::noc::i~ n~elf out to do scme~hAng ~or you snd ~ you d~ is ~o~pl~in and t~ll m~ what monster I ~m° why do~'~ yo~ s~ so~ethi~ nloe a~o~t me onoe i~ a ~hile? All Mou l:ids keep ~a~ng ±~ ~You do~I~ lov~ m~'r Tell you the truth, ~ thi~k it's the oth~ w~ a~o~nd. No~s come DISSOLVE~ 21. ATXO'I 0077934
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~NTo CLASSROOM - WIGHT CLASSRO01~ IS DETNO USED AS A MAKEUP ROOM, TEACHERIS DESK IS SPREAD WITH POWDER, TISSU~ BO~Ss HTCo FIRST MAN HNTEBS WEARINg INDIAN C08TUMEo GOES TO DESK AND POWDERS HIS FACE. SECOND FAT~S ENTERS DRESSED LI~E GHARLEYIS AUNT. ~E IR ACOOM~N~ED BY A LITTI~ BOY, SECOND FATHER YOU and ~our olasB plays| HE RAISES HIS HAND A~ TBOUQN TO STRI~ THE ~0¥, BOY COVERS HIS HEAD AND RUNS FROM RO0~, THIRD FATHER ENTERS DRESSED IN DIVEEIS OUTFIT. THIRD FAT~R If Z eve~ r%~n ~n~o Wa1~ D~sney, wi11 I ~ive h~m 8 pSece o£ my mind' SECOND FAT~R We're a bunch ec Idiot~ lettlng our kids ~alk us Into th~s. DANNY ENTERS WEARINg TAILS, ATe01 00??935
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23 THIRD~ATI~R Hew do you llke that? The William81 kid leks him d~ess llke a human ~elng. FIRST FAT~ER you werQ ~uppo~ed to be d~essed llke a kid. with that? I don't know. I'm Just luckF, I E~ss. THIRD FAT~R you ~an Eet away wi~h ~nythi~g beo~use your kid ~esp~obs yo~, DANNY Yeah, what did he tell you, I was ~eally Sack the Eippe~? THIRD pATtER ¥ou~e sure m~kln8 it touEb on us fathers. The way your so~ r~spect8 you, yo~Td think the s~ rises a~d ~ets on you alone• SECOND FATHER ~nd Rustyl8 been bendlng my kldls ear all wee)c abo~i~ what a wonderf~l fath~ yo~ are° FIRST FATHER Tell me, how ionE a~o was it ~ha~ you pla~ed thlrd bBse for the Olsnt8? R T)401 00??936
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DANNY Oh... he mentioned that? THIRD FAT~R He says yo~ don't play in the park in the father-son games because you're so good It would make us look ridiculous. DANNY I think it would be abo~t even... SECOND FATHER He told me he was verY grateful for the mahoggny desk you built him with your own hands... DANNY Mahoggny desk? SECOND FATHER Yes -- the one you sawed and nailed together for him in one night. All I built f0p my son was a dog house, DANNY Is there room in it for one more? DISSOiVE TO: 24. RT:~O I 00?~93?
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INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT DAhq~Y ENTERS FROM WINGS WEARING LITTLE LOED FAU}~LEROy SUIT AND CA~YING A LARGE LOLLYPOp. DANNY (DOES P~) I wlsh my daddy would show up, RUSTY ENTERS WEARING GROWN-UP MALE CLOTHING, RUSTY young nmn| Where bare ~'ou teen? I told you s htt~dred tires not to eat csndy before dinner. Just fo~ thst NO.Ire Eoing to get a spanking. RUSTY STARTS SPANKING DANNY WITH LOLLYPOPs LICKING IT BETWEEN BLOWS, DISSOLVE TO: ATX01 007793B
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26. '~AG INT. LIVING ROOM DANNYIS BAGS ASE PACKED AND STAND AT DOOR. DANN'~ IS AT PIANO AND SINGS "BE KIND TO YOUR PARENTS," MARGAP~TI RUSTY AND TERRY ARE LISTENING, AT CONOLU- SION: DISSOL%~ TO: THE END ~T~01 00?7939
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TIIE DANNY THOMA, S SHOW DT #29A (59) "MA~ ROOM FOR DADDY" Subtitle: 'benefit Show" WRITTEN BY MAC BENOFF RI'H01 00??940
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"MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY" Dr #29A (59) Subtitle: "Benefit Show" OAS___~T DANNY. .................. ,..DANklY THOMAS MARGARET .................. JEAN HAGEN TERRY ..................... SH~FJ~Y JACKSON RUSTY ..................... RUSTY HAiR HERBIE .... ,...,,,.......,. CRABLIE MANOS,.,,.o....,,, JACK ...................... GROUCRO ................... GEORGE .................... ABRAHAM LINCOLN ........... s~__A INT. KITCHEN INT. LIVING ROOM EXT. STREET INT. HOSPITAL ROOM RT:401 007'7941
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"MAEE ROOM FOR DADDY" #egA (591 Subtitle: '~ @he fit SHOW" INT. ZTCHER - DAY D~NY, HOLDING UP CUP, IS TALKING TO MARGARET. DANNY Jack Benny, $he Abbott of the Friars, said, 'We are gathered to hono~ one of t2~e greats of si~ow business. A man ~ho stands for integrity, sincerity and honesty, ~anny Williams.' E~RGARET (KIDDING HIM) Pa~s the butter. DANNY Huh? Oh, yes. RUSTY AND TEHRY ENTER, nrHo~ 0027942
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BOTH Good mornlns. THEY EXCHA;IGE GOOD MOF~IINGS. DANNy A ~n ~ho ~s beloved for hls sentimentality, g man whose word i~ hls bond -- ~hose handshBke is more dependable than other .men's oont~aotsj His -- RUSTY Mommy, I1m hungry, MARGARET Just a second, Daddyls talklnS about so~:eCne, DAb~4Y A man who millinns kno~ as the symbol of tolerance and Americanism. A m~n -- RUS~Z I Icno~ who yo~'re talking about. DANNY (PLEASED) Who? RUSTY Abraham Lincoln. DANNY I am notf. I'm talking about me. BUSTY Gee, did you free the sla~es? ATe01 007P9~3
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RARGARET Not recently, dear. I st111 have to get h~s breakfast. DA~ If yo~ donlt want to ~a~ about £t, tb's all right wlth me, ~ARGA3ET ~,~at wlll you have for breakfast, children, Uaffles or eggs? RUSTY Waffles. TEKRY fill have soree, too. RUSTY With some Log Cabin Syrup| D~N|~ GIVES RUSTY A LOOK. RUSTY X wasnlt even thinking of llnooln~ TERRY Daddy, tell us more about what the Friars ssld about you. DANNY Thank you, darllng.°. They said -- (POMPOUSLY) Here Is a man who is k~o~ for his ~rest heart, hls great sblllty to u~der~tand the -- problems of his fellow man -- 31 FJT~01 007P94,~
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RUST/ It stll~ souads llke L1nool~. D~AI~2 I ~uess it does. (LAUGHS) Well, anyway, ~e had a lot of fun and here's the cup the~ TE~RY IREADS) For he'~ a Jolly good Frla~ o D~NNY Nov, ~ I know Abe Lincoln ~asnltt... YOU shoul~ ha~e s~e~ al~ the ~eo~e ~h~r~, Jack Benny, George Burns and ~racle Allen, ~ob Hope, G~o~cho M~X, evei~body ° ~n't that wonderful -- t~he~ ~i~ showed up fo~ me o ~RSAP~ ~or • fr~e dlnne~, I'd ~ho~ up ~oo. DAN~ That's show bu~l~ess for ~o~. Whene,:er anyoner~ ~ a ~am - ~ho help~ out? Ac~o~s. Always pla~In~ beneflts for htund~eds of dl~fer~nt ¢~se~ ~o~ ) nTH01 00729~5
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DANNY (CONT'D) and people. When disaster strikes, the actors come right after the Red Cross -- at4 why? TERRY They like doughnuts and coffee. DADDY ~nat is this -- everybody heckling me today? THERE IS A KNCCK AT THE KITCHEN DOOR. REPAIR 'S VOICE (FROM O.S.) Hello - anybody here ? ~.RGARET Who's that? DANNY (GETTING TO HZS FEET) Sounds like Herbie -- he was at the dinner last night -- probably coming to congratulate me. HE CROSSES TO DOOR, MARGARET Eerble? Herble who? DANNY Eerble Wilson -- Jesse's new assistant. HE OPENS DOOR, AD'~TTING HEP~BIE. RT~01 00F79~6
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}~BIE HA, Danny -- the front door was unlocked and Jesse told me not to stand on oe~emo~y, MARGAP~T Jesse's got an asBis_~t n~ now~ HEEBIE 9~ett~ difficult for one fellow ~o handle all that ioaf~n~ by himself. DANNY ~!t down, h~'~ some co,fee with us. ~anb some ~aff~es? Have ~ome' I,~RGARET Sure... ~et e~er~Jthln~ out of me you oa~ before theY si~ that emanclpat ~on ~oclamatlon. HEP3IE HAS ALRE.:~Y SEATED HIMSELF, ~OPE~ULLy° (NOTE TO SHELDCN: Thanks. better than waffl~s in the mernins. ~ith so~e sausage~ ~%d s~s, or ~aybe so~e bacon -- if yo~'re out of ham. b, THESE ARE FROZEN WAFFLES ~DE ~EB~E There's ~othln~ ~ lov~ ATk¢O'I 0077g47
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MARGARET Yourll ta|:~ waffles and llke it. Boy, has Jss~e been glvlng you le~soz~~. ~RBIE Say, Dar~ny, what are you doing Saturday night ? DANNY Notbln~ I k~ow of, A~e we doing an~thln~, Margaret? MARG~-T N ope ° ~RBIE Good, ~s of ~i~ht now you~e do'~m~g something, The boy~ are runnln~ B beneflt fo~ someone ~hofs down on his luck ar~ ne~ds help badlY° DANh~ Sure. Count ~ '.n. gee, kids? T~Is sh~ b~s4-ness fo~ you. Somebody need~ help and they get it. TE-P2Y That's our father. HEF~ I knew you wouldn'~ turn it dow~. ~4 ATX01 007794B
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I~R~AP~ T~ ~ do~? HeT~ n~V~D t~Fned down a benefit ~e~° Dar~ts so se~t~ntsl he 8ve~ ¢~le~ at basketball gamem° HE~IE Wh~1~ ~ad ~bou~ bask~b~ games? I~.RGARET That'~ m~ ~o!nt. F~RBIE Well, anyway, thi~ ~u~s had a ~u~ of tou~h lu~k. B~st~e~s a~ his nightclub h~s b~en bad and ~o t~p it 0~, ~ hu~t his Ee~ in an ac¢i~en~ and has b~en In I~ figure he111 h~ve ~ome ~ou~ ~hen he ~e~s out. A wonde~u~ Ide~. ~hols the Well, ~Ive ~ot to be ~oln~. Go lon~. DANNY W~I~ a minute° Don't I even ~et to ~now ~ho ~he bBn~'i~t~ for? FI'F~O 1 002'~9a9
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HERSZE '~lhat's the difference, Danny? A benefit's a benefit. DANNY *dhat~ I don't Eet this. ZJm a funny kir~ of a guy, ~erbie. ~Inen I ~lay a benefit I llke to ~o~ If It1~ fo~ an Ins+~Itutlon, an elephant o~ a httman beln~. P~EP~ ~E ~ei!. it ain't an elephant. They"re all doing okay this Be~son ° DANNY ~Pno is it? HERBIE ~eTs a ~uy arot~d to~n. Yo~ k~no~ himo It'll be a s~rprlse. DANNY All rl~ht° I'I~ c~-ose m,Y eyes. $~p~1~e m~ now. MARGA,~ET He,hie. vhat's all the ~yst~ry about? RUSTY ,,laybe "-t i~ for an elephant. DANNY I donlt play If I don't know. 91 ~TH01 007~9S0
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HEllE (HESITg~ITLY) All right -- It's for Charlie Kanos. But bets changed. DANNY (EXPLODING) Charlle Xanos? No wonder Jesse didn't come around himself -- he :mows i'd throw him out on his ear~ HEF~IE But look, Danny, he's down on his luck -- can't you forgive and forget? If we don't put on a ~how for him he may ha'~e to close hls club and starve to death. DANNY Qood~. Great: You kno~ what this bum did to me when I was Just starting in the business? When i ~as slaving for him and starvin~ to death? HEEBIE I know he did you dlrt. But why don't you be s bib man and forget it. D AN~/ Ualt a minute, you don't know ~l~e whole story. Let me tell it to yOU, lO. R/H01 0077951
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~G~T Here ~e go. Every td~ you re33 thds, Dsnny, you make Cb~r3de souD~ more and ~o~e l~ke Simo~ L~gree° DANNY Ch~rlle Kanos ~s ~imo~ ~gree look llke L1be~acQ~ I ~s ~ork~ng for him -- sl~ sho~s a ni~h~ -- besides ~a~hln~ dlsh~s and scrubb±n~ floors In his night ~lub -° the -- wh~t ~as St ca~led, Margaret? ~GAP~T DAVY ~a~ret and ~e wanted to ~et ~rr~ed, so ~ ~ked him for raise - ~ ~eas~e~ five bu~k~ ~ore ~ ~eek° ~el~, he ~ust ha~e figured I ~a~'t scr~obln~ the ~loo~s hard e~ou~.h because I still had k~u~les -- a~d he flred m~. Get the plct~res? I~GAEET G~ o~t yott~ handkerchief, ~erble° We'r~ ~ttln~ to the sad pa~to ~L. ATe01 00229~2
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DANNY There I was, a poop, starvlnE kid. Frlendle~s and alone, needlnS the Job to pay rent on mjj atti~ room and he threw me o~/t l~to the cold. RU/TY Daddy, therels one thi~ I want to know? DANNY WhatJs that, son? RUSTY Dld ~'ou ~l~e9 Long snough to get e~en by not playing this benefit fo~ h~m. DISSOLVE TO : i~° ATH01 00~2953
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17. INT. I~IVI~|G ROOM - NIGHT DA~INY p~AD~IG A PAPER. RUSTY DOING SOME HOMEWORK. TERRY C0~IES OUT OF THE V~STgK BEDRO0~I, TERRY (TO DA~Ff) MO~y says there's s~ill time for you to get d~essed before He~ble gets h~l,e. DANNY Tell your mothe~ I am not changing my mind. I am not golng to no benefit. TERRy That's a dou'o!e ne~atlwe. AYH01 00??954
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DANNY i don't care if it's a do~ble somersault. ~o. ~o, no, no. no. I'm not going to 91ay no benefit. TERRY That's a quintuple negative. (EXIT) DANNY Emmmmm... (BACK TO FAPER, ~DFmSPERATED ) RUSTY Daddy, how much ±8 nine take away two? DANNY Nine take away two? What kind of English is that? You mean nine subtracted f~om two, RUSTY All right. DANN~ Nine subtracted from two?... Rusty, you tacit do it. RUSTY DANNY ~o° You can taloe two awa~ from ~Ine but not nine away from two. d4. AI'N01 O0 ;',"95~
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RUSTY All right, how much Is ~lne take DAHNE Seven. (HE GOES BACK TO HIS PAPER, RUSTY ~[RITES IT DOWN AND THEN D~NY GI%q£S HiM A BIG TAKE) Wise guy..,, (GOES BACE TO PAPER) RUSTY Is ten take away f£ve fi~e? DANNY Rusty, I'm not supposed to be doing your homework fo~ you. RUSTY YOU~e not... I8 ~en take away--? DANNY Hold it. What do you call that if not doing your homework? RUSTY Itls not my homework. It's F~ee~les Po~FOF I S. DANNY This I know will take fi~e Fears off my llfe but why aI~e you doing Freckles PO~rOF'8 homework? RT~O~ 00?7956
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RUSTY All ~i~ht, how much ls nine take a~a~2 two? DA~L~y Seven. (HE GOES BACK TO HIS PAPER, RUSTY WRITES IT DOWN AND THEN DANNY GI~ HI~. A BIO TA~E) RUSTY Is ten take awa~ five £±ve? DANNy R~sty, l'm ~ot Supposed to be do~ng yo~ homework for ~OUo RUS~y¸ Youlre not°~, I~ t~:1 take aw~--? DA~Y Hold it° What do you call that ~f not d~n~ youD ho~ewo1~k? RUSTY l~s ~ot m~ hoE~work° !tfs Freckles Pome:'o~ I s o D~NY This I kno~ will take fi~e year~ off my llfe bu~ why ~re homework? R/X01 0077957
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RUSTY Becaus8 Freckles Pomeroy has the measles and he~s home sick in bed, DAI~Y How can you tell when F~eckle~ has measles ? RUSTY Because he gets freckle8 on his freckles. DA~NY CB: BUSTY 50 I told the class aboub show buslness and how one helps th~ other, DANNY Well, lsn't that ~Ice. RUSTY Until FTeckles gets over the neasles we'Pe ~iving a benefit fcr him and doing all his home~ork. Tubby ~ot 8Relllng and Jimbo got ~ra~mar. DA h~-~ And you ~ot ariti~metlc? Bow co~? ATH01 00P2958
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RUSTY Because I'~ the best one in ~he class t .... ,HOW much is thirteen take away eleven? DANNY TWO, a~d if ~ou're the best one in bhe class ~hey'd be~ter close the school. TERRY COMES OUT OF THE BEDROOM AGAIN. TERRY Mommy's almost finished dresslnE, D~NE~ Terx~,, stop ~l-~In~ ~e the score of t~m game. Look, you take Rusty into his ~OO~ and help h$~ %'ith FrecklesI homework. TERRy (LEADING RUSTY INT0 THE BEDROOM) All rIEhZ. " THEY EXIT AS THE DOORBELL RINGS. D~NNY OOE$ TO GET IT. H~ OPENS THE DOCR AND HEF~IE C~4ES ~N. DANNY Oh, it's you. Well, ~ havenrt changed n~ mlnd so donlt ask me. HERBIE Who s~id I was Eoln~ to ask you? DANNY Huh? 17. RT~01 00P?959
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Forget It. Don~t Zo, Ja0k Benny1~ go~a be t~ere, George Burns and ~racie Alle~, BOB Hope, Grouch0 Marx, Georze Gobel. The same guys ~ho ga~e you the cup ° DANNY They'r~ all ~o~a be there? Uh huh. E~erybody in show buslne~s. The~-'ll be a l~ttle surprised at yo~ absence ° DANNY But ~o~re not aski~ me to 0han~e my mind. HERB~E No. ±'m not asklng you. The~'ll ~eb u~ thence on the dais. Of ~ill notice ~o,J~ e~Y~t~ chair ~ext to th~ toas~ma~te~ too m~ch. DA~ They all kno~ Charlle Kanos and I ha~e been ~u~InE for ~ea~s. RERBIE 0k~y, l~m not a~klr~ you ~o EO. MARGARET ENTE~S FROM ~E BEDROOM. ~FH0100PP960
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MARGAP~T HellO, He~ble. Have you bgen ~ikln$ to D~nny? DANNY Mesp he was not asklng ~ not to go to the benefit. KEBIE (TO MARGARET) Nothing will help. MARGARET Danny, you z~all~, are stub'corn. ~ERBIE Re~ember, the d~y may come when need a favor - then - then will yo~ be somr-j. DANNY (TOPPING HIS VOICE) And you'r~ s$111 not asklnE me? HEBBIE I 'm not. DANNY Then ask me alreadl-. HEEBiE All right. I'm ask!nS, Will you ~ome to the benefit? DANNY No'... (~d~4 BIT) NNeh... (AND HE SITS DOWN WIT.~ PAPER) 19.
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MARG~ Okay, but the Williams' family has to be regresented on the dais, so I'll go 8nd do one of your routlne~. DAN~.~F Don't be silly. MARGARET I'm not belng silly. I can do ths Italian on tele~o~e very ~ell. (PUTS O~I F~T) Hello, Operations, give me Circle two couple of ohs, another two. No, you ainTt got it. I said, Oircle two couple of ohs another two. Oh, oh, thatls a @oup!e of ohs, no? YOU kno~ the two you got on the top, Dut the same ~Ind on the bottom. Hello, I want to speak with the fellow who makes o~ the birth oer~Ifloates. Oh, that's you? That's ze. ~'9nO's ~e ? Hey, kid, hang up the phone, it ~on,t work. I'm not going. 20. fgTh'O ? 0022962
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HEFBIE All right, Danny. Just remember, though, show business is a ~annF thing. Up one day, down the ne~t. It~s not ineoneel-4able ~ou might be in trouble some time.., maybe even penniless.., nobody Q~en memembe.~ing Vou~ name. When ~ou're all alone at a tlm@ llke that, it's nice to have people get together ~nd do someth~/%g for your,..even you~ enemies. DANNY SDre -- Oharlie .~anos would be happy to come ~long and stioM a ~fe in me~ Soodni~b$, l'll see you later. THEY EXIT. DAN~I CROSSES TO COUCH. D~NNY (CONT'D) (MUSING) Eve.~ybody,s asalnst me ...for once I'd llke to have my wife see things my way.., and my agent'~ agent... (LIES ON COUCH, IMITATES HERBIE) Jack Benny's Eonna he there, Groueho Marx • ..Itls not Inconcelvsble you ~ight be in trouble some time., • maybe even penniless.., nobody even remembePing you~ name.... DREAM DISSOLVE TO: 2!. ~THO~ 0022963
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EXT. STBEET - DUSK A LONE FIG[V~K, DIIApIDATED, DIE}{EVELED, DEJECTED, SITS SLUMPED AGAINST A BRICK W~I~, HIS HAT IS IN HIS IAp. ON CLOSE INSPECTION ONE CAN MAKE Ob~ THAT ~ DIRTY, UNSHAVEN FACE IS THAT OF DANNY ~,~ILLIAMS, ~IUCE OLDER AND ?~JCH MOF~ TIRED. DANNY (IN g %4EAK VOICE AS PEOPLE pASS BY, PA'/INH HIM NO ATTENTION) Anything for a poor old bum, An~-thins for a ~,~ who once knew glory. A man whose wo~d was his bond - whose handshake was move dependable tha~ o~her ments contracts. A man of ~UOh standing that millions knew him as the watchword of character, RTN01 002?964
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PASSERBY (TO FRISkeD) Sounds llke he's talking about Lincoln. DANNY Wise guy!... (TO MAN PASSING ~'ITH VIOLIN CASE) Jack. Jack. JACK Huh? (HE STOPS AIID SCRUTINIZES THE FACE) Who are you, old man? DANNY Don't you re~mber me? Danny Wi !llama. JACK Danny Williams? (HE DOESN'T KNOW) DAN~I A fello~: friar. A man who stands for intesrlty, sl~cerlty a,nd honesty". JACK Oh yes, the ~uy who cried at basketba]l ga~es. DANNY Jack, ~ill you help me out? DO somethln~ for me, JACK Yeu bet I will, (HE OPENS THE ~IOL~N CASE, TAKES 0L~ FIDDL~ ~/4D BEGINS TO pLAy LOVE IN BLOOM) 23. ATH01 00??965
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24, DA~Y NO; no! ~ok, I 08.r~lt I18e mllSlc, I need money, JACK Money? And you're asking me?,.. Boyp h~ve ~L~ got the wrong d~e~. (HE EXITS) DAh~ What am I Eolng to dot If onl~ somebody really rich would oo~ along .... ~MA~OA~T ~NTERS NITN HEBBIE, S~ IS COVB~D WIT~ DIAMONDS AND RUBIES. DAI~ (CONT'D) Margaret' ICargaret' Look at me; It's Dar~ny' Your husband' MARGARET LOOKS AT ElM. L~I~RG ARET Tne1~e must be some mistake. I t~pered off ~ong 2go. MEHBIE (TO DANNY) Th~-s is Margaret Willisms, America '£ Sweetheart, Beloved for her sentimentality. ~ever turns do,~n a benefit. Winner of t~ Academy Award, The ~reatest comedienne of the American Theatre. Show hlm thm bit that won YOu the Oscar, honey. ~TMOI OO2?966
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I~RGARET (PUTTING ON HERBIE'S ~AT) Here ~ny of you ever ~aken a trip on a bus? MERBIE That's enough -- do, It ~aste it on this bum. He wouldn't appreciate you, anyway. Come On. THEY EXIT. D~ Irm st~rving, and no one will ~eZp~, (ANOTHER ~N COMES ON) Groucho. ~lease help me out. I'm Daffy Williams. How about a dollar? All right. dollar. GROUCH0 I'll give you a DANNY You will? Oh, thank you, thank you, GROUCHO First you've got to ans~er this question correctly. DANNY What ? FIT~01 00??96?
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GROUCHO ~'il Eive you fifteen seconds... %~no built the Palace of Mamle Saylaguerre in 159Y? (HE LOOT~ AT ~,IS WATCH) DAN}rl (THINX/~:G AND TH~N GETS IT) Cristofaldo Montefresco, GKOUCH0 your answer is mlgbt, but it took Eou sixteen seconds.... Sorry. (HE EXITS) DAEq~Y Oh no... (ANOT}~ER ~AN WANDERS ON) George, George. Recognize me? You were Just starting when I began fading. GEORGE ?EERING AT ElM) Well, if is Isn'~ Danny Will!ams. DA h%~f Help me cut, please. I need so~ae money to eat. GEORGE Su~e. Here you are. (HANDS HI~ A COIN) D~NNY 26. ATH01 0077968
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GEORGE (;[AIKING OFF) And you can't hardly ~et ~hem no more: (EXITS) DANNY Oh, and I'm so b%~n~ry. Me, who once was Bo ~eat. (RUS~Y WAL~ ON DRESSED LIKE A ~N) Rusty, RUS~ (SPEAKING LI~ A M~) Ah yes. I believe I do. Aren't ~ou Danny William~ ? DANNY ThatTs r~ht. I'm you~ Daddy. RUSTY Oh, no. You were never ~ fath~ro You ~ere a man of ~eat se!flshneBs. M_X father i~ risht here. (CALLING) Oome on, Pop. ABP, AH#~ LINCC~ F~!TERS, TA~S RUSTY BY ~ A~, A~ ~H~" ~NTEB TH~ OLUDo DALLY He's r!~hto ~.h~t ~as ~ terrlble thlng I did, turning down beneflt for ~oor Bill Tompklns DISSOLVE TO: ATe01 00~7959
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!NT, L~VING ROOM - MIGHT AS DANNY COMES TO. D~Q~Y llm so~ryp Itm sorT, ISm sorrY' (LO0~5 AT HiS WATCH) Maybe there's s~i~~. t1~e i Why should i hold asainst a guy something that happened SO !on~ &SO? IYve ~ot to helpj. RE STARTS FOR THE DOOR. DISSOLVE TO: RT~401 00??970
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T~ 'I2,~RYCAH TOBACCO CO. PALL ~,~LL FAMOU~ ,7- ~ G~RETTES TV COMMERCIAL #96 ONE MINUTE LONG SHOT OF EO'%ING ALLE~ AS M~N ~ ~ m ~ ~ GO,OF BALL EEVF~SE SHOT - CU OF ROLLING BALL CU OF PI~S EE,TNG STRUCK REVERSE SHOT . TO MCU OF MACHINE ~S ~T Cr.~S DnT,~N TO gET UP Pn~s. SIGN ~F~S .,RE!~D YOURSELF" DYSS TO ~U :'AN S HANDS TA~ING PALL ~LL FROM PACK PULL BACK TO MCU OF MAN ENJ~YINO SMOKE PULL BACK FURTHER TO INCLUDE OTH~ EC' %ERE ~{~, PRnDUCE PACKS OF PALL %'ALLS AND DO BUSINESS SUITABLE TO THE IDEA OF "YOU TOO" DIES TO ANI~%T~D C!G~EETTE~ SMOKE ~ERO~'TS PA~,~TNG THHU NAM~ "PALE !L~LL" ~BGIrE__AND S~ER "FINE TOE~CC . IS STS Sl,~ BEST FILTER" BENEATH F~I)E OUT_ SUPF~ !N SCENE 8, AND SUP~ "TE~ FINEST QUALITY MONEY CAN BUY" FADE OUT SUPEE .'iN SCENE 91 A~TD FADE IN SHORT TIG,'~ETTE BEneATH PALL ~.[ALL. BOTH CTGARETTES START ELaN ING BOTH CIGARETTES SMOKE DOI~ IN SIEE~ BUT PALL }~ALL ~EEAYNS LONGER EXTEND PALL MALL AND SHORT CIGARETTE Tn ORIGINAL LENGTHS ADD EIGRLIGRT FALL HALr~. SUPER "MOST SUCCESSFUL". EXTEND SHOET CIGARETTE TO LONG CONTINUE HYGHLIG~ING PAL! MALL. SUPER "MOST IMITATED" DIES TO CU OF S~OKING C~GARETTE IN MAN'S "~ND SOUND: (Backgro%u%d atmosphere of bowling alley) SOUND: (Rolling ball) SOUND: (Of plns being struck) ANNCR: (V.O.) R~:~ARD yOURSELF R~¢ARD YOURSELF with the pleasure of - smooth smoking. Smoke and ~ and PELZ ~ m~Ider F~ne tobacco is i~s own best filter and PELL MELL tobaccos - - are the finest quality money san buy. And look ho,~ EEI.LMELL'S greater length travels the smoke further - - filters the smoke naturally~ and makesIt mild. I~ fact~ youTappre- elatio~ of P~LL MELL q~aliTY -has made it Ame~Ica~s most successful - - and most imitated cigarette, It'sYOUr clgarette...E~netobacco blended--~o a flavor peak...dis- tinctively PELL HELL. (MORE) ~I"MO I 0077971
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PALI MALL COMML. #96 - 2 - PULL BACK TO FULL SHOT OF BO~'fLF2R SMOKING ',rlTH PLEASURE DYSS TO ECU OF PA~:2K WITH CIG3.RRTTE TN ASH TRAY BF~IDE TT, AND SUPER: "OUTSTANDING . AND T~Y ARE MTLD:" (SOUND: OF PINS BEING STRUCK) So'reward yourself - with a smoot~nes~mildness and sati~- factlonno other clg~rett% o~u% offer ou. Choose well...smoke PELLM~L! Got freshI ~ew smoklng s~tisfac- tlon. Buy PELL MELL Famous CigaPettes...0utstanding - end they are mil~! AT:K01 00779,'?2
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59. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT CHARLIE KANCS LIES %~ARiLY IN T~ HOSPITAL BED. AFTE~R A MOMENT, DA~.~I ENTERS T~ ROOM, HAT IN HAND. CHARLIE TUP~S ~ER, LISTLESSLY, CHARLIE Who's tha~? DA~Y YO~'II never believe i%..obut it,s Danny Williams. CHARLIS What dld *~[g~ come do~1 for.., want to be first in llne for the 9uneral? DA~ Just thought I'd drop in and see ho~ you were. Broush~ you a box of candy. (HANDS IT TO HIM) 8T){O1 00??9?3
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CHARLIE Clever move. In my oondltlon thls111 probably kill me. D~N~ Ok~y~ I didn't expect ~ratitude from you. but at least you oould ~ay hello° CHARLIE Hello. Goodbye. DANNY I suppose you know that they'~e glvlng a benefit for you tonlght° CHARLIE ~ure I kno~. DANNY And 1 suppose you heard t~t I refu~ed to agpea~ at it. CHARLIE ¥esb, That w~s the best ne~s I got all week. DARNY Still th~ same lovable ~attlesnake. CH~4~I~E So what ~i'e you doln~ he~e, ~ou turn chicken? DANNY No, I didn't tur~ chlcken. I'm on ~ way to do t~e stlnk~n' benefit for ~ou but I wouldn't (MORE) 30° 8TM01 0O?79P4
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DAN~ (CONT~D) be a hypocrite about it, so I decided I'd stoR off here and tell you that I still hate you. CHARGE I'm glad you dropped in. You made my evening. DANNY. And also to tell you t|~at I forgive you. CHARLIE Listen, you nincompoop with the weasel-head, what have you got to forgive? DANNY Shat are you talking about? Who threw me out of my Job when I didn't have Nhat to eat? Tore up mY contract In ~ face? CHARLIE You got a Job the next day, didnlt you? DAN~NY I sure did -- the 5100 Club -- double the salary -- made a big hit and showed you up fo~ a fcL~teen-karat, gold-plated dope~ 31. ATH01 00??9?5
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CHARLIE Mou we~ a ~u~k kid ~ho w~s I hadn't tossed ~'ou O~t, ~o~ wouldn't ha~e had tP~ ~ut~ to qul~ Ycu'd ~ro~b37 st131 be ~o~klng I?o11 me ~o~ the =~ame dough ~d you never ~ould have had enough bo g~t maPr~ed: DANNY ~re, think ~st, make exou@es, 0F.ARr rE I was Pur~ a ~Itt~e tw~-blt -- joint ~he~ nobody ~ou3d ever ~ee ~ou. Don't you %h~nk I knew the 5100 wa~ iook$ng fo~ a ~o~c? ~n~ ~'o~ W~re such a schnook ~ou'd never ta~e t~ job ~i~-e we had a contract. DANNY ~o's ~Itlng thls sto~5 fo~ ~ou, Somerset ~u~? You tz'3,in~ ~o ~ell me you ~hr~w me out In She stree~ Jus~ to ~e~ me ~mDrove myself~ CHA~LIE l'm not tr~JinG ~o te~l you ~n~th$n~. If It w~s Just ~ou, I would ha~e kept ~ou s~n~ln~, danclng and (MORE) 3~. RI':401 00779?6
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CHARLIE (CONT'D) washlnE flooPs and dishes for the pest of your li~e. But I didn't want to do this to ~hat nice college kid you wanted to ~a r r~J o DANNY What did she have to do with it~, CKABLIE I knew if I didn't kick you out in the big ti~e, she would be stuck in the small time, DAh~ NOV you1~e tz-jing to tell me Tou're responsible for m~ marviage. CHARLIE YOU think a kid with a college education is goinE to mawr7 a part-time dishwasher? DANNY Why dldnft you ever exDlal~ this to me before, you crumb-bum? CHARLIE You never a~ked ~ue, you piE-headed idiot'. I Sot my kicks just watching you eliza to the top, DANNY Well, if I'm solng to make the benefit X better get started. RTH01 00??9??
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34. CRARIZE Which or, e of 7our corny rcu~ine8 you goln6 to do? I flgured I'd do the Jack story. CHARL~E No, donlt do tha~ c~e, DO ~he bus routine a~.d finish with the Mark Fisher son~. DAh~Y You ~tltl ~emembe~ those ~ongs? CHARLIE Ye~h, ~ stlll hate the~. Yo~'re the one who 8an~ the ~oude~t ° Cp, ARI~E rather 81rig ~hem than have to ~lsten to them° YOU want to $1n~ them fo~ me asain? I want to remembe~ how much I h~te the~° DANNY AND CHARLIE DO ~hA~ER° AT CONCLU~IO~ SHA~ HANDS. DAN~Y ~feZZ, i have to ~o to the bene £1t now. CH~LI~ You reat~ ~a~ to do a be~efl~ for me? ~T~01 0077978 i,
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DANNY Of couPse, I do. CI~RLIE Sit down and play me a couple of hands of pinochle, DISSOLVE TO: 25. AT~O1 00??9?9
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36. INT. KITCHEN - DAY DANh~, TEHEY, RUSTY AND MARGARET ARE SEATED AT TABLE. MARGARET IS HOLDING N~fSPAPER. MARGARET Well, I must say you're a man of your "~ord. DA~INY Su~rises you, doesn't it? You thought I would soften up and do the benefit after all. MARGARET You never turned down a benefit be fore ° ATe01 00F7980 ii
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DAN~f There's always a f~rst tlme. Afte~ all, a guy gets tired of being taken fo~ a Bentlmehtal idealist, Abrah&~ Linoo~q you called me, Well~ ~ou wohat be makin~ any more Of those Lincoln cr~cks now, You ~g~ow ~ ~m a hand-hearted realize and the proof is rlght the~e in frQnt of you in tha~ paper, I~GARET So it i~, Right here i~ blaok and ~±te° (READS) 'tDanny Wi111amB ~BB O0~B~ICUC~/B by his ab~e~oe ,~ ~ANNY The~e yo~ Bee~ ~;~.RGARET And it's right ac~os~ the pa~e fro~ ~in~hellf~ ¢olu2an which h~ a very i~tereBti~ item in i~ ~n~ I q~ote° "$~an~e bedfellows° The feu~ ~hlch ~arte~ ~n~ ye&r8 ago whe~ Cb~!~e ~nos~ night club ow~e~ thr~w Da~y ~ill~a~B, night club e~tert~iner~ o~ ~nto the ~t~eet cai~ to a hi!arlou~ end last ~Ight at general Hospital whe~ they wel~e both ~imoBt ~h~ow~ RT~01 0022981
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V~RgARET (CONT 'D) into the street a couple of ~i~s fox making too much noise. Once in a United Nations d,let and another for ar~ulng ove~ two- hsnded pinochle." End quote. Well, you hard-hearted reallet. Do you have an~thln~ to say? DA;~PI FO~D score aKd seven years aEo, oum fathers brought forth upon this continent, a n~w natlo~w oc~celved in liberty, and dedicated to ~he p~oposltion that all men are created equal~ FADE OUT. THE END FIT~O 1 00PP982
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THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW #~ 3oA (60) "MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY" WorklnE Title: "T~ip to Wisconsin" C~. 2 /~ /~J-- f~ T){O '1 00??983
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"MAKE R004 FOR DADDY" #~e 30A (6O) Working Title: "Trip to Wisconsin" CAS____TT DANNY., .......... , ...... ,,DANNY THOMAS MARGARET ......... , ..... ,,.JEAN HAGEN TERRY,,,, ................. SHERRY JACKSON RUSTY.,,.,,,,,..,,.,,, .... RUSTY HAiR MRS. FINCH ...... ,, ..... .., WILL FINCH.,.,,., ...... ,o, ZEB CONKLIN, ...........,,. SETS INT. TRAIN COMPART~]~f INT. FINCHSI LIVING ROOM EXT. PORCH OF GENERAL STORE INT. AUDITOR! JM ATHO1 0OP7984
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"MA~ ROOM FOR DADDy" DT #30A (60) Workln~ Title| "Trip to Wiaoonsin" INTj TRAIN COMPARTNGNT - DAY DANNYs MARGAKET, RUSTY AND TERRY ARE SEATEb AROUND $~LL TABLE PLAYING 0ARDSo DANNY I'm building eights° RUSTY I'm taklng them. Lefts play for something°°° llke a pony. DANNY You!~e not golng to get a pony - so ~orge~ it... ~ donft want to p1&y caB~o any mo~e. PODy! THR(~qS CARDS ON TABIE. MARGARET Donlt b~ a ~o~e loser. RTH01 00??985
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At1 rlght ° l!ve lost, DA~mY Haa ha, hs, l!m 81ad TERRy Aw, come on, Daddy, letis play SC~ mo~e. DANNY (LOOKING AT ~USTY) Not ~Ith Nick the Greek here. MARGARET I should think you'd be In a better mood, being able to take a little vecation with the family. TERRY STARTS DEALING 0ARDSl DA~ Some vacation. GoSng to your home town. Baribou, Wisconsin. MARGARET What!s wron~ with that? YOUTVe never been there. Friendliea~ place in the world. DANNY l.ve ~ot myocwn friends. Don't want a~y mo~e. AT~O'I 00?P986
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3. MARGAP~ET And youlll love Mom En8 Pop Pinch. ~rnen ~ folks Were out on the road In v~0evillej I use~ to stay with them for months at a ti~e. 1~y, they treate~ me aB if I were their DAN~Y I~Is ~et~bublonm tha~le ~/nat It Is. Af~e~ ~ea~s Of ea~In~ l~vlnE ~ell~ng t~avelin~ salesman ~okesj I find OUt I~m mrrled to a farmer,s ~au~te~ | Z,m build~n~ eiEht~o TERRY I~m takin~ ~he~. DANNY ~[ne~ Were the~e kids b~ouEht up? On a gamblin~ boat on the M~sslssi~p$? ~ denlt w~nt to ~lay casino. ~E THROWS CARDS IN. THE OTHERS ~OLIDW AS ~ROARET COLLECTS T]~M AND STARTS SHUFFLIN0 ABSTRACTEDLY. MANSAP~ET At least if youlr~ ~oinE with us, Danny~ you ~an t~-~ to be pleaBant° And you,ll have a ni~e time° Itts bazaar w~ek° ~TR01 O07?98 ?
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DAN~Y Sure, that,s why Bhe asked US. Bazaar week, invite I~@aret Williams, her h~sbandls an actor, we.ll ge~ some free entertainment, Has Jokes, will travel. MAROAPET She didn.t say anything about that at all. DANNY Of course, she wouldn.t ec~e risht Out and say it. ~t no one's fooling me. I do~!t feel like entertaining° This is supposed to be a rest. And thatts what l'm going to do. y refuse ~o say one funny word until l'm back on salsry. MARGARET STARTS DEALING CARDS. DANNY ( CONT! D) I know whatts gonna happen. Whe~ someone In show businesB a~rives in a small town~ theyI~e n~ver let alone, RUSTY Why dontt you stay outslde the town, and phone us? 4t QTX01 0077988
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SHE DOES. DAH~Y YOUr mother's home town i8 a to~rn outside a town. They don,t even have elect~iclty yet -- I'ii bet they'~ wsi~i~ to see if It's gor~ catch on. MARGARET Oh, you think you'~e so Bm~rt, city boy, DANNY l~m smarter than you think. (HE LOOKS AT CARDS) This time I'll build Jacks, MARGARET I'll take them. DAN~Y (T}mOWlNG DOWN S~S ~AND) My £athe~to~ me never to play cards on t~alns. DISSOLVE: 5&6. RTX01 00??989
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THE IHE~ICAH TOBACCO CO. PALL MALL FAMOUS CIGARETTES OPEN ON M~DIb~ S~IOT OF COUPLE DANCING ON ROMANTIC BALCONY SET ~ IN Rh~{T~ THEY CONTINUE DANCING CAMERA PANNING ~,rITH THEM THEY C~T]~U/E DINCING~ CAMERA MOVERS IN CLOSER CAMERA DOBLYS ]7'/ TO NCU AS THEY PAUSE. MAN OFFERS GI~ A PALL MALL AND LISNT8 IT FO~ HER MAN ALSO LIGHTS CIGARRTTE AND THEY pUFF WITH RELISH - HOLD UP CIGAHNTTES AND LOOK AT THEIR GREATER LENGT~ DISS TO ANIMATED CIGARETTH SMOKE ARROWS PASSING T:~U~ NA~ 'IPALL MALL" ABOVE AND SIDER "FINE TOBACCO YS YTS 01,~ BEST FILTER" BENEATH FADE OUT SLT~R IN SCENE 6 AND SUPER "THE FINEST qUALiTY MONEY CAN BUT" FADE OUT SUPER IN SCENE 7 AND FADE IN SHORT CIGAP~TTE BENEATH PALL MAL~ BOTH CYGARETTES S~I~K IN SIZE, BUT PALL ~T_L HEMAINS LONGER EXTEND PALL MALL AND SHORT CIGAR- ETTE TO OBYGTNAL LENGTHS AND HIGH- LIGHT FALL MALL. SUPER "MOST SUCCESSFUL" EXTEND SHORT CIGAT~ETTR TO LONG CONTINUE HIGHLIGHTING PALL MALL. SUPER "MOST IMITATED". DISS TO COUPLE ON BALCnNY..A MEDIUM SHOT. BOTH ARE SMOKING DOLLY IN TO CLOSES SHOT DISS TO ECU ~F PACK AND SUPER: OUTSTANDING . ~ND THEY ARE MILD'" TV COMMZRCIAL #99 ONE MINUTE (SINGING OFF SCREEN) ~rels a suggestion you shouldn't forgebl When Fou choose the right ~i~l Choose the right ~Igsmet~eo Fmr those moments Of pleasure When dancing's been sweYl- Relax and enjoy yourself - light a HELL HELL ! BELL HELL...HELL HELL - smoke~er and ~ and PELL MELLI ANNCR: (v.o.) PELL HELL is longerI yes - but g~e~ter length is only half the story. Fine tobacco is its owA best Tilter and FELL MELL tobaccos - - are the finest quality money can buy. And look how PELL MELLtS greater length travels the smoke further - - filters the smske naturslly~ a~d makes it ~ild. I~ fa~t~ your ~ppreolatlon of PELL MELLqua~ity ° - has mad~ {t Amerlca~s most s~c~essful - - most imitated c~garette. Choose well! Smoke PELLMELL! PELL M~LL Famous ~Iga~ottos - Outstanding . and they are mild! RI'HO 1 007?990
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7. INT. FINCHIS LIVING ROOM - DAY mS. FINCH IS MODELING DRESS IN FRONT OF HUSBAND~ WILL. MS. FINCH Now do I look, Will? Think MargaretIll see much of a change in me, In slxteen years? WILL Hope. Not a blt. Elm sure shets as good a llar as I 8m. WILL MUNCHES ON A COOKIEHETAKES FROM A pLATE, N~S. ~INCH I wonder if sheI____~s changed? WILL Looked the same in that picture she sent us with the kids. Wonder what her husband looks llke? ATH01 007'7991
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MRS° FINCH F~DnF she dldnlt send a picture of h_.~. SOUND I DOOR BELL, WILL Here they arej Mom, THEY GO TO DOOR, MRS, FINCH Lands, will I be slad to see M~rGaret. WILL And those kids, ~S, FINCH OPENS DOOR, WILL Welcome home, Maggi81 MRS, FINCH Come in~ oomo in, MARGARET AND ¢}IILDREN ENTER, MARGARET Mothe~ Finch. Am I slad to see you, 8~ P~T :401 0022992
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9. WILL And this must be Rusty. Hi ya, son. And youlre Terry. Hi. RUSTY Hi. TERRY Hi. DANNY ENTERS, I~0ADEDDONNWITH GF~PS AND FACKAGES, AND STANDS THERE. ~{E TOP PACKAGE HIDES HIS FACE. MRS. FINCH Come on, sit down, Margaret. YOU must be tired after the trip. MARGARET A little bit. SHE SITS. WILL And I bet you kids a~e hungry~ Here -- we still have a few cookies left. HE HANDS THEM THE REMAINING COOKIES. KIDS AD LIB THANKS. ~S. FINCH (TO MARGARET) My, it has been a long time, hasnlt it? Rt~t you look the same. ~RGARET And so do you, Not a day older. Why, even a little youngerL P~T NO I 007;'993
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i0o WILL $hels a better one t~n I ~mL MP~. ~INCH l~nagioms yo~ with two ch~Idren. It s~e~s llke yesterday T WaB holdln~ you on r~ knee8 WILL And these yo~Dg~e~ of y~ Mag~ie~ Seems llke ~ester~ay you ~e~e knee high to a 8raBa- hoppe~ yourself, DA~M It see~s llke yeste~dsy that I got he~eo How long do I hold thes~ Erlpe? MARGARET Oh, Dan~kv° llm 6o~. ~Is is husband, Pop and ~om ~i~ch. S~E TAEES THE TOP PACk,AGE ~RON ~ MRS. FI~C}! H~11o, (TO WI~J~) No wonde~ she d~d1~f~ ~e~d a plctu~. WILL Hello° M~~. Willlame. (HOLD~ O~ HIS ~A~) pleased to meet ya. DA~MY SETS ~ B~GS AND ZHA~S~ HZ~ HA~D. ~PPAP~E~TLY WII~L ~AS A GRI~ 51h~ A STEEL VISE. DANNY MANAGES TO P~TRIEVE HIS RA~D~ ~IANGLED~ B~ ~TILL THERE° ATe0100PPg9~
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DANNY Wow. YOU must milk !em and homogenize tem at the same tlmel MRS, FINCH Well~ Margaret, yo~!ve got to tell DS all about yourself, RUST~ Do yOU have any ponles he~e? DAN~ Stop with the ponies. RUST/ DO you have any cows, Mr. Finch? WILL Call me POp, We got more cows than yo~ can shake a etlok 8tl I!11 take you down to the creamery later -- show you how we ¢Imrn the butter, DAmE MARGARET I used to love that when I wee a little gi~l. TERRY (TO MR. FINCH) Do you have many chickens? DA~ l~m hungrF° ii, ;%THO ~ 0077995
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WILL Why, we got more chloke~sln you oan shake a sticl', ~t. And duokst tOO. TERRY Oh, wonderful| DANNY Yes, siP, IIm hungriermn yo~ can shake a stlok at. ~S o FINCH And plgsl why, land, we had tWO ne~ lltteDs only last week. DANNY CROSSES TO RUSTY. DANNY Give me a bite of that ooo!¢le. HE TAKES IT FROM RUSTY. mE. FINCH Therets plenty more in the kitchen. Willa Why dontt you get so~e fo~ sammy? DANNY The name Is Danny. D~nny Williams. Thatls ~ billing all over the c0%~ntr~. BillboRrdB. Night club marquees. Newspaper ads. Danny. Danny Williams. Doesn,t ~t ring a bell? 12, RT~01 00??996
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WILL Sure, I~ther~ you've heax~dof him, Dontt you remember, we saw his name in theBaribou BuKle... when Margaret married him. DANNY It so happens I'm a fairly well-known entertainer.., on the other side of the JUngle, of co~Seo ~S. FINCH Entertainer, eh? What channel ape yo~ on? DANNY l~m not on television. WILL YOU in pictures? I go to them movie mhows all the tlr~e... never =een you. DANNY Well, ~c... ICm not in p~tu~e~. ~S. FINCH Circus? DANNY WOIII ~0 -- ~LL Wellj doggone it, sonS what else i8 left? 13, RT~01 00,-,-,,-,-'99,-,
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RUS~ He works ~D s~loons, HARGARET Rus~ mea~s cafes, Hight olubs. DA~ Next time I play Chicago, I!ll have you folks o~ down and catch ~ aotj ~gl FINCH I re~ember when ~ took you ~o Chicago, t~garet, yo~ were abo~ Terr~Is age and yo~ got lost in Marshall Fields. Remember? DAk~ I'm going to have ~ lo~ of new routines, WILL And they found you in the hand- ware depart~en~ and you werenr~ crying, yo~ were ~tanding on ~he counter singing. ~GAP~T (LAUGHING) Oh, yeB. I singing. And was ~S. FINCH I.ii never forget it. (SINOS) lIin forever blowing bubbles -- 14. ATX01 00??998
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15. ATH01 0077999
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~So ~INOE (TO MARGARET) Ma~garets remember the fudge you used to make? So smooth and creamy. WILL (TO CHILDREN) Anything your mother tried her hand ats she was the best. Says you know what I bet the kids would like to see, Mother? Ma~garet,s diploma, she graduated with highest honors from grade school. MARGARET You kept it? How nice. DANNY I got an award f~om the actors club, fo~ the most promising night club comedian, a few years ago. But I haven!t got it with me... this time. WILL HAS CROSSED TO DESK, WILL Itts right here in the bottom drawer. (TO BUSTY) Thisfll make you proud of your mother. 16. F~T~01 O02BO00
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17. MRS° FINCH And see if that medal Msrgarot received for ~esculn~ that couple when she w~6 with the Junior Life Saving Corps is the~e. DA~ I once JUmped off the top of the Empire State Building. MRS. PINCH When ~ou saved them~ M~r~a~et, you were only fourteen. MARGARET Noa I W~s thirteen. DANNY I was seventy-thr~e when I Jumped. Too weak to go all the ~ay. Ha~ to m~ke it in two jumps. MARGARET Yo~ say ~omethlngs D~nny? DANNY For~et it. I don't want to interrupt anythlng. But maybe we should gQ ~p to our rooms. WILL BRINGS OVER MEDAL AND D~PLO~A WILL Here We ~e. S~WS DXpLOMA AND ~DAL. ~E~D~, MAE~AEET AND T~ FINCHES PASS THEM TO O~ A~O%~R. ATX01 0078001
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w1~ (CCHT,D) Well~ we c~n finish looking at these later. 1!11 take Rusty and Terry ~p to thei~ Poems. I~tls 80s kidS. T~LLEAVE. MRS. FINCH I feel awful b~Inglng this up before you,ve even had 8 chance to unpaok~ but yo~ know we!re having a bazaar here -- DA~ Here we go. What did I tell you? I Just don!t know quite how to ask yo~. I doDft want to take advantage. DA~ lid love to help you out. But yes take a lawye~ fop example. when hcls on vacation he doesn't try a case 3~d... ~S. FINCH You donlt have to help Ss OUt. I Just want to know if Margaret will be on the decorating eommlttee for the baz~aro 18. t~1"~01 0028002
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MARGAF~T I'd love to be. Xsn!t it hies of them to ask ~ej Danny? DANNY yeah, great, YippQe. Can we go up now or should we pitch a toni down here? RES, FXNCH We fixed ~ nice ro~ in the attic for the children ~nd you can have the s~me room you h~d when yo~ were ~ little girl. SHE EXITS. DA~Y The kids are in the attiQ ~nd you have the same room you h~d when you were a little girl. what do I dos just piok OUt a ~ioe soft co~ne~ Som~ Where? MARGARET If you play you~ cards r~Ght, you,re wlthme. DANNY You know I don,t play cards well. MARGARET Come on, 1111 teach you. DISSOLVE TO: 19. RTMOl OO78OO3
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THE AMERICAN TOBACCO CO. PALL MALl FAMOUS CwG*%EETTES STOCK SHOT OF MARL~dj BATTLING LINE FAST DYES TO FULL SHOT OF ~'~ ON PYRR. FISH~ GIRL WITH CAMERA. START DOLLY IN DOLLY IN ~LOSER TO MhN AND FISH~ AS MAN LIGHTS PALL MALL HE, SMOKES ~rITH PLEASURE DISZ TO ANI~!ATED CIGARETTE SMOKE ARR01~ PASSING THRU, NAME '~PALL MALL" ABOVE AND SUPER "FINE TOEACCO TS ~TS 0~ BEST FILTER" BENE~*T~ FADE OUT S[rP~R IN ~q~rS ~, AND SUPER "TH~ FINEST QUILYTY MONEY CAN BUY" FI~E OUT SUPER YN SCS~!E 6~ A~D FADE IN SHORT C!S;EETTE BEIIEATH FALL ~LL BOTH CIGARETTES SFRI*~ IN SIZE~ B*~ PALL M~'JL R't~'A!"3 LONGER EXTEND PALT, M:~£1 & S*JaRT QISAR. ETTB TO ORIGINAL T EYGTE~ A~q] HSGhT, TC-H~ ?ILl¸ ~ALL. SUPER "MOST SUCCESSFUL" EXTEND SHORT 9TOARETTE TO LONS~ CONTItUYE HTOPI, ISHTINS PALL MALL. SUPER "MOST ~Y. T D .m E " DTSS TO CU OF DHCTOG'IA?H ALBUM IN MAN'S ~A~ ~Hn':ING SU OF PHOTO TAKEN IN ~SESE S. HIS HAND HOLDS SMOCKING ~TGARETTE. PIrLL BACK 'IS ~ . AqOU~D ~ TWO SHOT OF MIN ~ ~qYFE 9eTk; S~fOI,[TN@ AND LOOKI%TG AT ALBUM DIES TO ECII ~V P,',C?': 'N~ SUPER: "OUTSTANDTNC, . I}D THEY ARE MILD!" TV COMMERCL%L #97 ONE MINUTE (SOUND OF WATER AS MARLIN THat',SHE8 AT .END OF LINE) ANNCN: When the big fish is hooked,. : .,.and you finally land him - e - with pleasure o~s m so s~mok In 8. the Smoke and and FELL P~LL HELL is longer, yes - b~t g~eatsr length is only half the story.. Fine tobacco is its own best filter and FELL MEAL tobe, coos- - ~re the finest quality money ca~ buy. A~d look how PELLMELL~8 greater length travels the smoke further . - filters tho smoke naturally~ and makes it mild. In fact~ your aDpreedation of PELL MEAL quality - - has m~de it A~*rleals most S~0oessf~/l - - most Imltate~ clgaretts. It's your cigarette...finO'tobaceo blended to a flavo~ peak... dist~netlvely FELL HELL. So reward yourself - with a s~ooth- ness~ ~iSd~ess and satisfnctlo~ no other clg~rette can offer you. B~y PELL MEAL Famous CIgarettos... Outstanding - and they arc mild! P~T~O 1 00?800,$
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20, EXT, PORCH, GERERAL STORE - DAY DANNY, SITTING IN ROCREHs IS READIN~ "VARIETY" AND ROCKINGb MARGARET AND CHILD[~EN A~ IN ~IE STORE, ZEB CONKLIN SAUNTERS ONTO POR~I. DANNY, DAk~ Looking for someone? 2~B Mope. DANNY (TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY) didn't get your n~me. DAN|~ (SINGING TO HIMSEIP) "Ole rockin! chair!s got me Cane by m~ side -- Chained to that ole rockinf ohair --" STANDS LOOKING AT ATH01 0028005
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21. ZEB Dldntt glve it to you. DA~Y We havenTt met, h~ve we? Nope, DANNY ~upo ~Y ARE HO~ HOOE~G IN OPPO~I~ DIRECTIONS. DANNY If we!re ~olng to ~o Itj let's get in step, DANNY GP~S ZEB!S ROCREH AND T~ GET XN UNIS0~. DA~Y L~vln~ here Ion~? ZEB Ymp. DANh~ YOU m native? REB Mope -- Amerlaan, DANNY Looks like rain, dOeSn!t It? Z~B Mope, Have to lea%~. Too bad we can't shoot the breeze some more, FI T:~O 1 00P8006
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22. DANNY That,s all righ~ -- 1%hlnk we killed it dead. ZEB EXITS, WILL CORES OL'2 OF STORE AND SITS DOWN ON ROCkeR BEST~E DA~o WILL Hi. Thought I'd ~i~ while the women shop, WILL TAKES OUT E2S~E A~D STARTS TO WHITTLE, DAHNY WATCKES HIM. DANNY Wh~t are you making? RT~01 0078007
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23. WILL Nothing. Just aovfnittllnt. You ought to try it sometime, DANNY Z will. I~t I~m Just lear~ins how to ~ock. DonOr want to take on too much all at once. Want p~vt of my paper? WILL SuDe, THEY STOP ROCKING. DANNY I~NDS IT TOHIM. WILL STARTS~O READ PAPER. HAS TROUBLE. TURNS IT UPSIDE DOWNs T}~N SIDe, lAYS, THEN STRAIGHT AGAIN. WILL This ai~:t Written in English. Broad blz~ no f Izz, take ~Iz, HANDS HIM PAPER4 D~NNY This i~ Vari_~. Theatrical paper. It means business on BrOadway is fine, and theyt~e taking in a lot of money there. Biz is business. Fiss is fizzle. ~nd diz Is diZZy, Broad biz, no fizz, tGke dIz. ~kes sense, WILL If youTre dlz it does, HE STARTS ROCKING. DANNY JOINS NIM, Bb~ DOESNtT START TILL HECATCHES HIM ~N DO~tNBEAT, I~ T~(O 1 00?8008
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DANNY YOU llke to ~ock? Y~ -- ~o you llke to rock? ~NNY Yup and n~e. I c~ ~a~ it o~ leave It, Beat~ talklnS sometimes, DAN~ S~PS ~CK[NG, DANk~ You m~k if you want. I1m getting air sick, Personally, 24. WILL Say, ws~t to walk ~o~% the ~o~d a piece and see Zeb Conkllnls new shoats? DANS~/ New oD old, iIm not l~tez~es~ed i~ p~oplefs ~derwear, ~ILL Shoats ~s piss, DAN}~ Well, ~y donlt you talk En~llsh? Broad blz, no fizz, t~l~e dIz. ~THO~ 00?8009
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25, DANNY Now, that'_~s English| WILL Youtre klnda outta place in the eou~tr~Js alnlt youj Dar~9 I bet you alnlt neveD even milked K 0o~;4 DANNY Yes, I Aid. WILL ~e~e? DANI~ S82ne old place. Underneath 8/~d back yonder, You sure youI~e not m~¢In~ anythln~? WILL ~Fnlttlln' alnlt m~kln~. Whittlln' is whittlinV . DANNY HOW lor~ do you keep it up? WILL You Just whittle and whittle a~d before you ~cnow it, there ai~Tt ~o more to whittle. Would you like to t~y it? HANDS HIM ~QNIFS AND STICK. DAR]~ T~/~ES IT AND STARTS TO ~ITTLE. WILL There you ~o. You|re dolng fine6 ATe01 00~8010
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26. DAN~Y Yeah. I'm a whittlSng fool. • he boys a% the ~riars should See ~ now, TALCING B~G CUTS AT STICK. WILL Eh, eh. Not too big chunks o~ you~ ~Ittle will be whittled before you!~e Btarted to whittle. (~ GETS UP) Well, I!ve got to get back to the bard and water the milk -- local Joke. WILL LEAVES, DAh7~ S~TS Th~RE ~£ETTLI}~ AS MAP~ARET AND CHILDREN COME 0DT OF STORE, THEY LOOK AT DANI~ IN A~, MARGAHET What are you reeking, Danny? Nothing. Jus~ a-whit~llD r. By cracky. A1"~01 OOPOO~l
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27. RUSTY Mommy, will you help me hunt fo~ arrowheads? MARGARET Later. We h~ve to go ove~ to the d~y goods sto~e a~d p!~k up some things. DANNY Honey, Ifve got to get out of this to~m. Ilve rock~d so much I tm getting seasick. MARGA~ NOW, don't ssy that. Youlre Just starting to IsoR rested. DAN~ Yeah. IIm ~o re~ted ~ h~ve to take ~kY pu~se eve~ h~if hour to see if Iris still there. ~RO&P~ET l.~n~, ~,Outre begi~inlng to look like ~oulve llve~ here all your llfe, DANI~ That's what I1m afraid of. These Deople dontt ~alk. They olnk. ATM01 007B012
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~8. TERRY Weld better hurT, Mother. We have tD attend the oonm~ttee meetln~: too. RUSTY Mothera arenf~ yDu ~olnE to help mE flnd some ~rowheads? MAB~A~T Your £~ther~ll help you. Come on: Terz~[. TERRy A~ MARSAgET LEAVE. 2U5~I Daddy, will you hel~ me find some arrc~heads? DAhrNY Looks son: with ~ll thls rotkin' and whlttlinI ! Just oouldn't hunt for arrowheads, tOOo ~ schedule!~ all fi!led up. New, catch up With you~ mothe~ and tell he~ if she wants me, I'iI bc b~ck at the house. D~N~YEXITSo RUS~OKS i~T AND P~HT~ ~ENEXITS T~AYLD CAMERA. DISSOL~T0: h3T ~01 0078013
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29. INTo FINCHS LIVTI~ ROOM - EVENING DA~ IS AT PHONE, DA~Y (INT0 P]I0~) Operator, I'd like tha phone number of the railway station**.Want to fiDd o~t whe~ the next train leaves. Call information?... I12o Thanks... Give me ii-o. Hello, In£orm~tion? You sound liI~e the opeL~ator Z Just spoke to. Oh, you are. Well, whatls the number of the railway station? Thanks. (HAHGS UP, PICIqS UP PHONE) Get m~ 587-J. ATX01 0028014
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DANNY (CO|~T!D) ]lello..° I'd llke to find Out the t~ain schedule for New York -- Midnight and one at seven in the mo~niD~? S~yj youl' voloe sou~d8 familla~. Weren#t you Infor~latlon? I thought so. Small world~ Isn!t it? MARGARET AND TEERY ENTER AND LISTEN TO DAN~. MARGARET Who are you talking to? DAh~ Irm tl, ylng to o~teh the first train out of here. I'm going nuts. ~L~qGARET youtll do no suoh thinE. Dar~qy: if you try to know these people -- they!re the friendliest in the I~orl~. DA~ITY 01nk-oink. Moo- Yup. Nope. Moo. (MORE) 30. 8T~01 0078015
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DANNY I don!t W~Dt tO get to know them, ?~at do I cs~e that old msn Finch hss a hen thst %ay~d %brae hundred eggs las~ yeam? Wh~b else is a hen going to do with them? ~MRGAEET BUt we Just oan!t up and leave afte~ all the plans theylve msde for the bazaar, And besSdesj you 8houlfln!t make %he deoislon for all o~ ~s. TEPd~Y Why don~t We tske a vote on It, llke we always do? DAN~P2 Y~ne w~th me, I vote for go~ng home, MARGARET I vote for staying. TNm-~Y SO do I. DAm~ 'D,~o agalnst one. B~t Rustyrll vote my Way, MARGARET A11 right, Where Is he? 31. RTH01 00;'8016
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DANNY How should I know? He was with you • MARGARET NO, he wasnft. I left him wlth you. ~u were golng $o help hlm look for arrowheads. DANNY Well, he wasn!t with ~, MARGARET It!s nearly seven o~clook. }|els been gone foz" ho~rs. DANNY (EXCITEDLY) A11 rlgh~ -- the only thin6 to do is keep calm -- (YELLINg) M~. Finch! MRS. FIRCHZ i • • I,~S. FINCII ENTERS. MASo FINOH Anythin~ wroD~? MARGARET Rave you seed RuSty? }~So FINCH Nhy, no, deal% not all afternoon. DANNY EverYbody take it easyl RELAXI If he!s lost, welll find him. Don't 6et nervousl B~ calm, Re oan!t be £sz" away. Three hours he can be in Chlosgo| Keep oO011 32, RT~01 007801?
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MARGARET He kept talking about lookII~g ~Gr a~owheadB -- MRS. FI~! Now, don!t you worry -- (PICKS UP PHO~) I~iI oall the Barabou Volu~teo~ Fire Departmont -- DANNY G~oatl The Barabou Voluntee~ Pi~e departmentl They probably couldn,t find Chlc~o if it was on fire ~gainl Co~le OD~ Ma~are~ We!ll have to find him our~elvesl MARGARETs DA~ A~ TERRy EXITo (I~O PH0~) F~Isie~ get me the fi~e department°.. ~nd to everybody else l~steni~g ~ o~ ~he ~y llne.., the~e,~ a little boy io~t.°, bet~e~ ge~ b~sy. DISSOLVE TO: 33. RTH01 0078018
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I~. PINCH!S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT WILL FINCH ENTERS FRONT DOOR, CARRYING RUSTY, RUSTY You dldnlt have to carry me all the ways Mr. Finch. WILL Why ~ot? You were a protty frightened llttle felle~o.o st~ck way Up there on that cliff. PUTS RUSTY D~ ~N HIGH WIngBACK CI~IR. WILL NOW, you 81t quiet here in thls ch~ir° I don!t want you to get lost again. I'll ~o warm you Bo~c mill~, ATe01 0028019
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35. RUSTY W8 both were luok~. I found an arrowhead and Wo~ found me. WILL EXITS, ~E ~0~T DOOR OPENS AND DA}~ AND MnS. F~NCH EN~ER~ V~RY MUCH UPSET, ~S, FINCH NOW, take it easyj Danny. Fr~ttlng ain!~ soin8 to help. I should have gone with him loekinE for ar~owhesds. I~m a tePrlble f~'~hoP. RUSTY NOD5 ~S APPROVAL~ AS DA~ TURNS AROUND~ RUSTY DUCKS DOWN BEHIND THE CHAIR, DAI~ (C0~'D) ~hatts what!s wrong with ~e. NO time fo~ my OWn son. (RUSTY'S J~ADAPPEABSSLOWLy AS BEPEBBS O~R THE BACK OF ~ CNAI~ AGAIN) He gets me mad sometimes, but a~ heart he~s the sweetest~ most WO~dePful kid in the wOMI~. RUSTY NODS VIGOROUSLM AT ~IIS) If we evor find him.., if We ever get him bGck a~alno.o I~ll take him in my ar~s and IIll say, "R~sty, son~ if you111 forsive meS you ¢~n havo ~thins yoD want. Anything you want in t~ whol~ world. Just ~sm~ i~." AI")401 0078020
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RUSTY HoW abo~t that pony? THEY ALLWHIRL, Rustyl MARGARET ENTERSi ALL MARGARET We looked all over but couldnlt -- Oh, Rusty, darling, youi~e all right, ~ou~e ~iI ~htJ DA~Y (BLOWI~ UP) Listen, you little mo~ster, how long have yo~ be~n hidlnf there? ~rnere h~veyou been, you -- yo~ -- you J~v~nile delinquent? RUSTY Wh~t h~ppened to the sweetest mo~t wonderful 1~id in thQ World? DA~NY Never mind what h~ppenod to ~Im. ~t happened to you? MARGARET Where were ~ou~ dear7 RUSTY Well, after my own fathe~ refused to help me look for ~rowheads.,, I ~en~ off by ~e/f..° ~u~ ~ wasn!t my f~ult, My own f~ther -- 36. ~T)~01 OOPB021
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Pop Finch, What fo~? ~RGAEET Z~m deeply grateful, WILL It waBn!t mY doing. The whole town pitched in. DANNY We11j Pop, I guess living in a big city the way we do, you dontt get time to he very fPlendly We oug~ht to IQarn to ~p and n~pe mo~e, And Will, any time you want to rock and whittleh I'll be ~sal proud i~ you111 let me rock and whittle with you. ~'ILL A pleasure, Danny. ~ly no mope Broad blz, no flzza take diz. TERRY Daddy -+ welre not going home right away~ DANNY Going home? W~nen our friends are running a bi$ bazaar? Not on your life, Besides, I'm klnd Of hoping theyIre ~oing to ask me to help, ~S, FZNCH Oh, would you? I was going to ask you tonight, but I never thought youtd accept. 37. AT ~0'I 0078022
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DANNY All right, ge~ to the pe~ntJ RUSTY And I slipped up at the top of some rocks~ and I felIj and I got stuck on a rook halfwa~ downj until I got ~eso~ed. MARGARET Who saved you, dsPlin~? RUSTY EveRybody. Everybody in town. The Volunte~m F£~o Department was the~ea add the Police Dep~rtmenta &nd evoPybody ~IsSD and they all put a ~opo ove~ the oliff and Mm, Finch climbed down ~be Pope all alone 2nd ~ot m~. And Uncle Will ca~led me up tha rope and everybody made a blz fuss over me and I told them ~he only reason I ~ot !os~ was because my own f~the~ ~ouldn)t h~ip me hunt arrowhesds. I~ own father, WILL ENTERS, CARRYING MILK. I~ILL 1~ell, I see the oo~itteels b~ck, Heref~ yo~rmlll~, youn~ fe~la. 38. RTH01 007'8023
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39. DANNY Why shouldn!~ I do something for my nelghbo~s? I know how much you must have been hoping ~Id help you°,, what it muss mead to a little town like this to have a we~l-known Gntertainer... and even though I swor® lid never do I%... ~ want you to know my talent is at your 8~rvioe. MRS, FINCH Oh, Willj isnlt that wonderf~l? D~nny, wo~Id y~u Judge th~ baking contestX DANNY Baking Qon~es~? Do~!t you want me ~o entertain? MRS. FINCH Oh~ we ~onft need a~y mo~e entertaln~ont -- Will al~ays takes care of %hat, I¢155 TA~S OUT A JE~!S HARP A~ PLAYS A FEW NOTES~ WILL They love me in Baraboul DISSOLVETO: ATX01 OO;~B O2,$
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40. TA__q INT° AUDITORIO~4 - BAZAAR ATMOSPI~BE - EVENING WILL IS ON S~AG~ PLAYING JEW!S I~ARPo TABLE OF CANES IS SEEN IN B,G. MARGAP~T AND M0~4 FINCH STA~ BEHIND TABLEi DANNY Ek~2ERS AND SINGS "FRIENDSHIP" SONG AND OTHERS J01N IN. FADE ODT, THE E~m RTX01 00?8025

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