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Radio Continuity, Lucky Strike, Jan. - Feb. 1933

Date: Jan 1933
Length: 642 pages
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchesh'as and Famous LUCKY STRIKE TUESDAY * THURSDAY / " LTT,," V'TE~ SATURDAY 10 to 11 P.M. ~ J/ V ~.~ ~.~. WEAF~dASSOCIATED ~ ~ ~ hove CHARACTER TUESDAY? JANUARY 3~ 1933 ~UBICAL SIGNATURE) HOWARD CLANEY: Ladies and [entlemen, the LUOIC~ 8TRINE Hour pre~ented for your pleasure by the manufacturers of LUCEY $TRI~E CiNarettcs - slxty ~1odern ~i~utes with the worldls finest dance orchestrasI and the famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills ...... Tonight in tho ~glc 9~et Theatre we pTesent a thrilling dra~tizatlon of ~The Arlzo~a ~il Tr&In Hol~-UpIt - ~ foal case from the files Of the seoret Investigatloz work at Washln~on, D.O ..... but before we b~inU this dra~ of federal agent~ a~d desperadoes, lefts ~t~r~ th~ ev~ing off with a dance. Ferd~ G~ofe, th~ famous composer and cond~otor ha~ h~s orchestr~ all ~e~d~ ~o provide ~he musio~ ~o ~ ON WITH T}~ DANCE FEBDE GROFE...(WHI~TLE).,,ONAY A~L~RICA~
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ANNOUNCER: For the first dance tonight~ Perde Grofe and his Orchestra play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) ANNOUNCER: HO~ARD CLANEY : The Magic Carpet speeds back to ths Pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW yORE! Pine, Ferde -- that was a real thrill~...,Welre happy, folk~p to bring you the ~uslc of that Ereat Amerlc~n co~oser~ Ferde ~rofe....hls famous work "The Urand Canyon 8~ite~TI is recognized everywhere as a n~w and colorful blend of fine harmonics ~ a dlstlnotlve~ I~od~rn ~ote in American m~slcal oomposition ..... And so it is most appropriate that Ferde @rofels dance t~ne8 are brought to you by the makers of LUCKY STRIKE ..... that modern, distinctive cigarette wbioh gives so muoh smoking pleasure! LUCKY STRIK~j too, ofTers a dls~inc~Ive~ un~su~l note -- a ~nlqu~ balanced blend of choi~ T~rki~h and domestic tobaecos~ brought together in every LUCKY in a fra~r~n~1 ~llcious bar~kony that means real smoking onjoyment! And LUCKY STRIKE not only gives you the finest of t~nder~ golden tobaccos-- It ~ives you the tru~ m~idness that a~n only b~ imp~r~d to tho~ choice tobaccos by th~ exclusiv~ I'TOASTINGr' Process - th~ most modern step in oi~arette man~facture~ While youlre llstenin~ to Ferde Grofer~ tunes -- why not light uo a LUOEY, and ~n~oy the finest of f~ne tobaccos, mellow-mild and d~l~elous,
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-3- H~'ARD CLANEY : (CONTINUES) No~ weTr~ i~ the ~agio Carpet Theatre.....the curt&In i~ rising ..... the house lights are di~mlnW ..... and the foo~llght~ are coming up. The stag~ IB Set for the first act of lithe Arlzoza ~all Traln Hold-Up.II This ±8 a ~hra~atizatlon Of a case taken from the United States Government fil~s at Washington, D°Co Speclal Agent Five ±~ listening for order~ and instructions are fla~aln~ through the air from h~d~art~s° (WHISTLE) ON WITH T~ SHOW! (FIRST PART -~ "THE ARIZONA MAIL TRAIN HOLD-UP')
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-4- HO%~ARD CLANEY : United States Postal Inspector Irwin has trailed the t~o train robbers to the ranc~ of Tom Vance. Can he prove that ~ny of these men are guilty of the crime? A little l~t~r weTll brln~ you the second and final act.,.,but right now th~ program calls for muslo from the talented baton of Ferde ~rofe, so let's have it~ ON NITH T~ DANCE FERDE GROFE~,~(NHIBTLE) OKAY A~ERIOAI ANNOUNCER: Ae the ~agic 0arp~t settles down on the d~nce floo~ Ferds Grofe's Orchestra plays -- (TITLES) .) _) ) ANNOUNCER: Back we go to,he.at the controls. (WHISTLE) OKAY N~ YOEKZ
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HOWARD DLANE¥: He t8 a major factor in a huge industry. He built a buslnes~ froE twelve men I~ 1902 to sixteen thousand employ@8 to~y~ He ~vs a distlnct servloe and bro~ht to the American motorist &n excellent produot at a fair prlce* Such & ~ is Harvey S. Firestone... pioneer in the automotive tlre industry. B~C&USe he worked long and hard~ i~ the oaus8 of economloal t~ansportation~ beoa~se his rubber org&nt~ion ~eaehe~ to the far corner@ of the world~ and beoause he iB a 8portsmanj a Fhilanthroplst and a representative of the highest type of business exeoutlve, t~o minutes ago, at i0~3£, we flashed thl~ tslegr~ to Mr. Firestonel ~R. HAR~Y S. FIRESTONE, HARBEL ~ANOH, ~EDINA ROAH~ A F~qON ~ OHIO. YOU REVOLUTIONIZED THE AUTOMOBILE INDUSTRY BY INTRDDUCING A FINE TIR~ AT A LOW PRIOE....YOUR PIONEERING IS NO~ BRINGING INCREASED AUTOMOBILE ENJOYMENT TO ~ILLIONH OF FHOPLEi...YOU OAN WELL UNDERSTAND OUR OWN THRILL OF ACHIEVEMENT IN BEING ABLE TO OFFER TO THE AT~EHEDAN 8~ONER OERTIFIED CBE~O A FINE LONG-FILLER OIGAR FINISHED UNDER GLASS AT TB~ UNIQUE PRICE OF FI~ CENTS STRAIGHT, THYME FOR TEN CENTS ..... ~WH ~L~VE PROVED TO OUR$EL~ES AND TO CIGAR $~OKERS THROUGHOUT THE NATION T~L~T A REALLY FINE CIGAR NEED ~OT BE E~ENSlVEo...WITH CORDIAL GOOD WISHES VINCENT RIGGLO VTOE-PHES~DENT IN OHARGE OF 8AL~S THE AMERICAN TOBACCO DORDANY .......................... STATION BREAK ...........................
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-6- HOWARD SLANEY: It wonlt be lon~ before we come to the final act of our drama~ but while the stage is being ~et~ we11I dance again to the strains of F~de Grofe~8 tousle. Climb aboard as he d~nc~s thc millions of you over the air waws. ON WITH THE DANgE FE~DE GF~FE.., (WHISTLE)...OKAY AL~ERICA! Ahq;0UNOER: Everybody swing your partners go -- (TITLES) .) .) ) ) ) A~0UNSER; Here comes the high flying ~agio Carpet, (WHISTLE) OKAY N~ YORK!
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HOWARD CLAEE¥ : -7- You're back In the l~glc Carpet Theatre of the air for the last act of ~The Arizona l~il Train Hold-Up." This is a ~ramatizatlon Of &z ~cttt~l oase f~o~ the Yed~r~l Investigatlon files ~t WaBhlngton~ D.C. Tom Vance ~nd his son John ~ere t~oksd to their ~anch by Unlt~d States Postal Inspector Irwln ~fter the hald-uR of the Arlzon~ ~ll Traln. Bill Vance~ another son, is a deputy in the sheriffls office but Tom and John Vance ~du±t m~klng the trall from the scene of the hold~up, cl~imlng it was made the day before the crlme~ when they were rtding the range, ~spector Irwln may havB Bome i~portant o~ues.~..he followed the trall e~ref~ll¥~ even examining ~ fir~ w~i~h the men m~de°o!..4Eow o~r second ~t is ~bout to begin ..... Special Agent Flve is aw~itlng instructions from headquarters. (WHISTLE) ON WITH THE SHOW~ (SECOND PART -- "THE ARIZONA HAIL TRAIN HOLD-HE")
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-8- HO~VARD CLANEY~ Well Mr. and ~rs° A~e~ica, th~tI~ the way the Federal inspectorB do their Job. Both Tom and Johu Vance wound up behind the b~rs and Bill Vance ~s On the wrong end of the b~llets. Next Tuesday we'll bring you a dramatization of another &ctual casc~ this time from th~ files of the United 8t~te~ Bureau of Na~ooti~ Treasury D~partment~ at Washlngton B,C.....,and no~ at this mo~,ent ~l~c going to t~k~ a flyin~ trlp to Ferde ~rof8 ~nd his Orchestra. Ferde is the maestro of the evening so welts ~n our way to land right at his fe~o ON WITH TP~ DANCE FERDE GRCFE.~(WHISTLE) OKAy AMERICA! ANNOUNCER: This tlme Ferde GroTe aud his orchestra pl~y -- (TITLES) 1 1 ( 1 ANNOOq~CER: to the pilot. The Magic Carpet flies over our heads and speeds back (WBI~TLE) BKA~ ~I YCPJ(!
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-9- HOWARD CLANEY: Thank you~ ~erde° A8 the ~agic Car oct fli~8 aoross th~ oountry~ ~h~r~ is another ~r~at fleet wlngl~ it8 way on the air la~es,...Flyi~g high ~bove %he ~ortuous passes of ~he Rocky ~o~ntains~ the great passenger pla~es of ~he ~estern Air EXpre$s cover In a m~tter of minutes the route that covered wagons followed for days and week~....and in these ultr~modern cabln plan~8 men a~ wom~n are carried in swif~ luxury~ ~vorythlng provided for ~nelr enjoyment... It i8 signlficazt that in these gr~at modern air lln~rs~ LUCEY STRIEE Cigarettes ~re Bervod ~x~luslv~ly to passong~rs. For it i~ a kno~ fact that mod~r~ fa~tld~o~s smokers prefer the extra enjoyment of that modern cigarett~ -- th~ oholce delicious blend of fine tobacco~ that only LUOKY ~TRIKE offers ..... the true mildness, mellow-mildness, whlch 0an o~ly be i~rted to those tender golden leaves by the ~xol~s~ve IfTOASTINGI~ Process. That i8 ~hy, wh~r~v~ modern smokers gather~ you'll alwaF~ find LUCKY ~TRIKE is the favorit~....the mildest, ~o8~ d~llclous of olgarett~8° ~UN~ ) ) ) ) )
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-lO- The l~glc Carpet takeB that llgh%ning trip. (WHISTLE) OKAY NE~ YORE~ HOWARD 0LANEY : 807 ladies a~d ge~lemeu~ w~ ~ome to the end Of azother LUCKY STRIKE program°.. ,bu~ on Thursday night Jack Pearl will ~t~p forth in the role of t~e P~ron ~unoh~u~e~ ~nd rel~t~ Bome more of his &~azing advent~res...~alBo on that program Ab~ Ly~n and his f~mous orohestra will provid~ the rnuslo for the danolng,. • .Until Thursd~yp thenj goodnight. (MUSICAL SI@NATURE ) This le the Natlonal Broadcasting 0ompany~
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SPECIAL A~ENT FIVE EPISODE X ~'ARIZONA 3~AIL TRAIN HOLD-UP" PARTS I AND II FOR LUCKY STR~KE HOUR JANUARY 31 1932
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SU-173-X C~RACTERS: TOM VANCE JO}~ VANCE BILL VANCE ADA VANCE SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE X "ARIZONA ~AIL TNAIN HOLD-UP" NART8 I AND II OFFICIAL STORY BY GNORGE F~ ZI~iMER DRAMATIZATION BY FINIS FAP~ AND GREGORY WILLIANGON SRERIFF SIN~ONS P. O. INSPECTOR IY~'IN JE P~RY BUNN SP~KW~/~AN CONDUCTOR NOTICE: This property is duly protected by copyright and r~y not be used in any ~nner without the authority of the owner thereof. It is authorized for broadcast over National Broadcasting Company, Inc. facilities only on the date first Indlcatcd herein.
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SU-ITS-X VOICE: SPEOTAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE X "ARIZONA MAIL TRAIN HOLD-UP" pART i (WlHEHESS BUZZ) CLEAR THE WIRE$.o..CLEAR THE WIBES,,~,SRESIAL AGENT FIVE.,.,.TH~OUGH SOURTESY OF J° EDUAE HOOVER ....... DIRECTOR UNITED STATE8 BUBEAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE....WASHINGTON, E,S ........... YOU ARE PERMITTED TO RELATE AUTHENTIC STORY OF THE "ARIZONA BAIL TRAIN HOLD-UP" ..... BASED OR CASE ........ .... FILES OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION .... DEPART~T OF JUSTICE ..... WASHINGTON, D.C.~,.~ SPECIAL AGENT FZ~, PROCEED ........ ,..~ ........ ,j, .... (WIHELESS BUZZ) SPECIAL AGENT FIVE~ Special Agent Five talking....tho story of the "Arizona ~il Train Kold-[~p"....~real people,.,..real places,..,..real Clues .... a zeal case.....for obvlou@ r~asons~ fictitious names ~rs used thro~ghout~...our case b@g~ns at the Arizona ranch house of Tom (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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JOHN : VANCE : JOHN: VANCE: JOHN: VANCE: JOHN: VANCE: JOHN: VANCE: JOHN~ VANCE: JOHN: VANCE: -2- Well~ whatrs the n~tterI Na? You soared? No~ son ~- It donlt scare me. But llve lived honest all my life, Jo~hn. I reckon I'm too old to change BOW. Sure youlvs lived honest. And where did it get you? You've slaved on this ranch for sixty years and VouTll die poor. I always treated you fair, di~%'t ~, John? Sure, you did, Pa, and now llm going to pay you back. I don't want it that way. Ah -- there ain't nothing to be afraid of. We'll stick up the train dust after she crosses ths Now ~exico llne ...... Tonight. I know the place we can tag hsz - just ten miles south of Gutherie. dust a comfortable ride from here, Pa. Son, whatever you say I still don't llke it, Ther~Is money in that mall car. -- And there ain't no reason why we shoul4nrt have it. ~Tny, we can be back hers in bed four hours after itls over. Don't even know we could mskc th~ train pull up. Sherll stop all right -- if we put something on the track to de-tall her~ But John ~- folks might glt killed in the wreck! llm not worrying. We want the sacks of mall - the packages -- and the registered 18tters -- out of the baggage car. But John, we can't do Zhat~ That's a Govlment offense. And besldes~ Sheriff Simmons would --
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JOHE: VANCE: JOHN: VANCE: JOHN: VANCE: JO~N: VANCE: JOHN: VANCE~ JOHN: VANCE: JOHN : ADA: JOHN : ADA : VANCE: ADA; JOHN : ADA: JOHN: Whols going to know we done it? Ain't Bill a deputy? What ~ood is that? Plentv. I reckon if my own brother is a deputy sherlff, I got ~ right to Enow what's goi~Ig On in the Sh~rifff8 office -- havenlt I? Have Nou spoken to Bill? 8~. He says h~ don't want to b~ figured i~ on the hold~up ~- but he'll let us know if the Bherlff gets on our trail. What if folks recognize us? Listen, Pa -- don't talE foolishness. It'll be dark tonight -- and whatls mo~e wetll be wea~ing maBks. L£~sks? YeaE. I already -- ~de Tem, out of bEack cloth oI sisls. Give a look. I don~t llke that John -- I donlt like hldln~ fac~s. Itls bett~r to wear thcs~ ~ks than have the train conductor spot uB. Q~iok -- get t~m ou~ of Bight -- her~ comes your s~gt~r. Yeah -~ alw&yB ~round at th~ wrong time. (F~DINN IN) What did you say, John? gothlnl, Eda ~ nothln'. Do~t ~orrF abo~t m~° Itls almost s~pper tim~. Is B~ll going to be ho~e? I donlt know -- ~ybe hels held up at the Sh~iffI~ office° Well, then we wonlt wait. ICATC~$ SIGHT OF L~ASK~) Oh. W~ll -- l,/h~tfs th~ m~t~er? Those black th~n~. What are they? (BRUTALLY) What do Fou think?
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VANCE: ADA: SOUND INTERLUDE: VANCE: JOHN: VANCE: JOHN .' VANCE: Now, daughter, itts jUSZ a joke, isn't I~ John? I know your ~okes, John Vance. What have you been puttlng up to father? A long sight more than ~_q~ over did. Now go on and get supper~ Pa and me have got to oat hearty. Welvc got a lot of ridin~ to do -- ~ rldln'~ 1. CLOCK STRIKES TWELVE TIMES 8. TWO HORSES GALLOPPING OFT - FADE OUT. I got the hosses tethered, son. Wnstrs the next thin~? (~N BACEGN~UND - HORSES STRIP .~ND VHI~Y ONOE OR TWI~E) Put on your ~r~s~j POp. And wait, I got the m~sk on....I got ~t on. ( ~HNI~ WHISTS) List~n~ Yeah - that's the mall train all right, Shels cominI over the New ~exioo Iino ~iong about now. In a minute shelll swing around ths ourve. The engineer wonlt be able to see ahead - and then blng~ ~Ight into that pile o~ trees we left on the traok~ (STILL ~?OR~IED) But Johnny -- w~ pile ~em up right where the ~rao~ runs over ~ thutty foot embankment, Great grief~ son, We shoul~It ought to bal done it, WeIll wreo!( tho daylights out of her,
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JOHN: VANOE : JOHN : VANSE : JCHN: VANCE JOHN: VANOE: JOHN : Donrt fret abo~t thati Pa. The mail sacks wonlt bust ope~. (GRm~TS) {DISTANT LOCOIOTIVH WHISTLE: MOURNFUL AND FAINT) (NOTE - TWO LONG~ TWO SHORT - LAST TOOT PROLONGED - CHNSSING WHISTLE) (QUIETLY EXULTANT) Shels K-comln!. Yes, sir. Shels a-comihI round the mountain. Thatls her whistle For Snowdenls Crossing. (CALl'AND CONFIDENT) When the train cracks, we go fo~ the has,age car. And you be r~ady to do some talkini With that rifle. P~. All right -- (CLICK OF GUN) Itm ready. Shels all lo~ded. If WS have any troubl8 g~tting &way~ we'I1 say we got a gang w~tching in the s~sebrush. Ws~ro Eolng to get tha~ mail -- and we ~in't letting nobody stop us. Nobody~ (TRAIN FROM DISTA~CH) Shels beading foz that pile of ties! Watch her, Dad~ (THNIN GETS NEARER) (SLIGHTLY SHAXEN) If -- if anybodyls killed -- izls murder, Johnny. What about i%? Sit tight, (H NAVY SRASH - HISS OF STEA~ - CRIES OF TRAIN SHNW)
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J0 HN : CONDUCTOR: BRAKEMAN : CONDUCTOR: BP~KENAN : CONDUCTOR: J0h~: CONDUCTOR: JOHN: B F~LNIIAN : JOHN: VANCE : HHAKE~N : -6- Well, Itll be -- she didntt go off the track, Pa! Still right side up~ Well, that ~kes it all the ~asler for us. (FADES) Come on - and kocp that gun ready! (FADING IN) Sam! Seml What's happened? What pulled us up? Nothlnr serlous. We bumped a pile oI ties somebody l~id across the track. Lucky Itls not worse, We could haI gone over. Pile o~ ~les, N~m~ What ~hey downI there? D~nno. Maybe they boen dolnI some work on the track ani ~ot o~reless, AnI maybe Itrs somethlnI a heap sight worse than that. This is ~ mighty des~ted run ~long h~rcI an (FADIN~ IN) All right, there, Conductor. Put your hands upl I was afraid of i%. It's a hold up~ Never mlnd~ 0peu that bag,~ag~ c~r~ (LOW VOICE) It11 run for help -- ~aybe one o' thc p~ssenge~s,J~,. You. Braken~n. 8t~y "~here you ar~. K~c~ them covered, Pa~ I got a bead on you, boy -- wlth this here rifle. (UNCERTAINLY) Ye~slr. A~ right! (SLIGHT ~U~I~U~ OF OTHER PEOPLE IN BACKGROUND CONDUCTOR) Look a-h~re7 boys~ !~ou oanlt ....
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JOHN: CONDUCTOR: JOP/~: CONDUOTOR: J01a-N: CONDUOTOR: BRANEI;AN: JOHN: CONDUCTOR: JOHN: CONDUCTOR; VAN@E: CONDUCTOR: JO~: VANCE: JOHN: VANCE: JOHN: VANCE: -T- ListenI ~ister - and you folks back there~ too - ws got men hiding in ~he $adebrush either ~ide o' this track~ W~ got the drop on all of yo~l So donlt try anN funny businesal This is a mall train, ~nd we sot to go through -- You111 go through, Conductor. But not till after you open the door of the bad,~ade car! ~w~ dontt you go to ~ Open ill VFna~ else Can I do, Sam? Yen, You better ~ what he says. We ain't ~ot all nig~ht. ~ovel This one here's the bagsage car. (FADES SLIGHTLY) Itls right here. (FADES SLIGHTLY) All right, l'm followin~ right after youl (IN FULL) Here's the side door. (0ALLS) Oome over her~, Pc. But ~eep ten covered, (OFF) I'm co~ing. (DOOR PULLED BACK ON NOLLENS) There -- co,found ye. ~et in there, Pat a/~d rassle ~il bags -- You can put up your z~fle, fill hold two guns on thi~ crowd! All risht. (MAKES EFFORT - FADES OFF SLIGHTLY) f'm in. (FADES A LITTLE KOR~) I fouud some mail...three, four b~ds..,.. Pick '~m up! ..... a possel of registered stuff. .... PUZ it in your pocket~ And a package.
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JOHN: VANCE : JOHN~ VAN CE : JOHN : VANCE : JOHN : VANCE : BHNEE~AN : CO~DNCTOR: BP~KE~JAN: CONDUCTOR: BRAKEI~AN : -8~ Wet11 take that too. Got it all cleaned out? Yep. All there is, All right -- jump down. (NADES IN QUICKLY) Her~ I am. (LOW VOICE) Now - get re~dy to pack th~ stuff back to the hosees when I tell you to. Yep. (RAISES TOICE) Listen folks -- youtre all covered with rifles~ fro~ ~he br~sh where ~y gavels hiding! SD after welre go~e ~- donrt none of yo~ ~k~ a move~ for half an hour! Stick r~ght where you &re ~or half ~n hour ~- Or w~rll plck you of~ &~ ~ur~ ~s llm ~tandlng here. (LOWER VOICE) All right, ~ - lefts ~et to the hosses. Back ~w&y -~ so we ke~p our e~es on te~. Itm coming, son, right ~ith you. But s~y - (FADES) th~se b~g~ ~re ~oggone heavy. (TWO HORSES SPRING TO GALLOP - THUNDER A~AYo RAnE OUT) Well ~- they be~t it with th~ m~il. What you going t~ do? ~m, I ~hink h~'s bluffing. I donlt b~li~ve ther~s anybody out ther~ in the brush at ~ll. ~e~t~r stay here qulet, tho~ and be sure. No, Sam. T~hey didmit wreck us with tho~e ties like they tried to° Th~ old co~c~toh~r just knocked ~em right ~side. We'v~ got cl~r tr~ck in front of us ~nd I ~onlt s~e a~y red li~ht~ u~ &he~d~ (BEOINHING TO BE INFECTED WITH COURAGE) V~h -- you ~e~n w~
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CONDUCTOR: BRAKEL~N: CONDUCTOR: SOUND INTERLUDE: IRWIN: SI~ONO: BUNN : IRWIN: BUNN : IRWIN : BUNN : S IhLiONS : BUNN: IRWIN: BUNN : IRWIN: -S- Sam~ Irve had this r~u for twenty ~eazs~ and theylve never held me back yet. Give me that lantern. What - what for? What are you goinI to do? I'm ~ving "Go ahead.~ Sam, we're moving on to Uuthrie. We can telephone the sheriff at ~he county seat from there .... all ~Bo-ahd~ 1. LOCOMOTIVE AND TRAIN STARTING UP 2. HOOFBEATS This is the trail Sherlff. NO doubt about it. You're right, Inspector. Same trail we picked up at the scene of the hold-up. I tell you, we ainlt so helpless out West on a case li~e this. Jerry Bunn here is the best tracker I ever hope to see. Thanky~ Sheriff. But I reckon I eouldnlt lose thLs trail if I tried. It's too fresh. Youlre all right, Jerry. I never thought lid be this far along in one day. Whyt I only got into Clifton this morning, and now this afternoon, we:re already -- (BREAKING IN) Excuse me~ Inspeeto~ Irwin. We~ve got to pull up here. I see something! Yes? Whoa, boss~ (HORSES TRAFBLE AND WHINNY AS THEY ARE P/INED IN) What have you gotI Jerry? Gst dol~n off your bosses here and Irll show you. All right, Jerry - right with you. (SLIGHT DISTANCE OFF) Come over here, Inspector. (FADING IN) Oh -~ yes! They stopped here and built a fire~ is t~&t it?
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BONN : SILJJONS: IRV41E: SI~ ~ONS: IRWIN: SIDIHONS : IRWIN: IRWIN~ SI~ON$ : BU}TN : IRWIN: SIgnOrS: SIliCONS : SIMMONS: -lO- hight - Inspeo~or - you can see tho ashes. (FADIhG IN) Yep.,,and hotels where the bosses sto~ed around when taey were tethered. ~ell Our men oert~inly wouldnlt h~ve c&i~psd here~ just a few hours ride from the hold-up. Then why did Shey :~ke a fire, do you think? Thatts what I want to figure out. It m~y nave some bearing on the case. Shucks. They m~st have stopped to eat, They di~llt figure on Jerry Bdl~ picking up the trail so quick, ! c~n see why they*d stop in this canyonI all right. I¢ls Concealed fairly well. It l~oulg have hid that fire ~ood, I~spector. Exactly. Well4..Hm... HOW about the prints of the hossesI hoofs? ~hey check up with ~he ones we found where the train was robbed1 Jerry. OhI surc~ Sheriff. Hotels tha~ left hind print - ~Ith th~ split hoof, 7o~ see it, Inspector Irwin? (PRW-OCCUPIED) Yes, sai~e horse...same horse all right. Well then~ should ws be gettini along~ Izspeotor? In j~st a moment, ild ll~ to poke around these ashes a bit, (AMUSED) Sure now -- ~hat you going to find there, ~r, Im~in? (SLIGHTLY OF; kIh~ AS THOUGH STOOPING) I don~t know - I!ll h~ve to tal~@ a look, (~h~CKLING) Wsll sir, I was hoping lid see something like this, when they wired that a United States Post Office Inspector was coming down to solve the CaSe,
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IRWIN: S Ili~!ONS : SIMMONS: IF6~IN : 81 MMON 8 : IRWIN: BUNN: IRWIN: S li[i~ON 81 BONN: I~TIN: SOUND INTERLUDE: -I1- (AS BEFORE) Something llke what? A real big city deteotive, in aotlon, so to speak~ Poking around in ashes for clues. (RISING GOOD HUMORED) Arenlt kidding me, are you, Sheriff? Oh, no sir, no slr~ (SUDDENLY) Say - did you find something after all~ I can't tell - maybe yes; and maybe no. What are you pu~tlng in that enevelope? Just a few fragments - stuff that wasnlt burned, This fire Interests he. And -- (SEES BITS OF PAPER) Oh - ho ~ I think 1111 take these along too. Say - ~hatls that youlre a~ploklnI upp ~r. Ir~'in? Several bits of paper. I may be able to u~e them. (CONVINCED THAT THIS IS FOOLIS~ESS) Shucks. Excuse mep Inspector~ but - that wonlt ~t you v~ry far. (GOOD HU~RED) Possibly not. 1~ell ~- I think welve done all we o~. with th~se ashes. JerryI h~ve you ~ot the trail spotted from h~re? Sure have. It leads rlght up th~ canyon. All right - letls ~ollow it. 0o~e along~ Sheriff. i. THREE H~RSE$ GALLOP OFF. FADE OUT° 3. SOUND OF DI~ES BEING WASHED. ADA: Bill, live gO% tO know. If theyrve done anything, tell Tell ~e now,
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BILL: ADA~ BILL~ ADA: BILL: ADA: BILL: ADA: BILL: ADA: BILL! ADA: BILL: ADA: BILL: ADA: BILL: -12- %Ihatls the m~tts~ wlth yot1~ Ada~ WhO do you mean~ have they None anything - Pa and John? Yes! ~W~at were they doing last night? He'd: should I know? Bill, as a Deputy Sheriff, you're sworn to uphold the law, aren't you? Burs, Sis. Thatr8 the way the law puts it. And if John was trying to n~ke Pa do something - that was wrong, youtd prevent it wouldn't you? (PAUSE) For Pete~s sweet sake - what are you yelling at me for? What ~s bothering you? Bill, you and John are both my brothers. But if you were going to hurt Pa - let him get into something, I -- Pop cam take care of hlmself. Hels old enough. All right, then. What was John doing with those mas~I. (EVIL AND CRAFTY) Listen, Ada, I dldzlt even hear you say that. I didnlt hear nothing about masks. Do you catch on? (HORSES C01ING UP OUTSIDE) Some one coming up our road. (0YF) Irll look out the window, and see who it is! (AT WINDOW) 0hI (COHE8 BACK RAPIDLY) Bill - ItTs Sheriff Si~uons. (STUNG INTO ALARMED ACTION) HUh.~ Sheriff 8im~ns and Jerry Bunn and a stranger! (HORSE EFFECT8 OUT - OUTSIDE) (THINKING FAST) Ada - run quick to Pa and Johnnyl Now I know soi!lethlngls wrong. Tell lem whole here, Ah - beat it - what are you waiting for?
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ADA; BILL: ADA: BILL: SIMHONS: BILL: SIHIIONS: BILL: BILL: IRWIN: VANCE: NI~ONS: VANCE: SIMMONS: But if there:s trouble - shooting -- There alnrt any trouble~ Just %ell lem the Sheriff's here that's all~ Hurry ~l There's nothi~ to be afraid of~ (FADING) I hope so. (DOOR OLOSED) (KNOCKING) (CALLS) Come in, folks. Come in, (DOOR OPENED) (FADING IN - APOLOGETIC) Howdy, Bill. (GUAP~DED) Howdy, Sheriff. YOU leave Jerry outsidc? Why yes, I did. Inspector Irwin this is one of my deputies, Bill V~nce. (FADING IN) How do you do, Hr. Vance? Inspector? (EASILY) Y~S....U.$. Post Office Sep~rtmen% - I'm investigating last niEht's ~ail train hold-up. You got on the job mighty quick, Inspsctor. (DOOR OPENED) I happened to be in this p~rt of the (CASUALLY) countrF. (FADING IN) Hello, To~. Well~ well. Howdy, 8herlff~ Norry to bother you this w~y. Why that's all right. (FORCED LEVITY) ~hat can I do for YO~ Ainlt my boy Bill been ~ttendinN to hle duties7 If tha~ts so, I'll surely ~n his hide. Ha-h~-ha. (NEEN NOBODY ELSE IN LAUGHING) Uh...~eet Inspector Irwin frJm the Post Offioe Dep~rtment~ Mr. Vance.
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VANCE: VANCE: IRWIN: EILL~ VANCE: JOHN: IRWIN: CI~0NC: VANCE; JOHN: VANCE: SI~l,iON8: I~IN: -14- Kowdy. ~r. V~nceI I won't w~ste your time. Nerels why llm calling on you. This morning the trail of two horses ~s picked up at the scene of the mall robbery beside the line of the Sou~h~Tn Pacific. We~ve followed that t~all - ~nd-here ~e a~. What do you mean? The trail leads direly to your ranch. Now look heret ~r. Insp~ctor~ have yo~ got the crust to .... Hold on, Bill, (FADING IN) Whatls the t~ouble, Pa....anything wrong here? Whols this m~n, Sheriff? (QUICKLY TO IRWIN) It!s Johnny V~nce - the other boy. Give m~ a light for my clgarette, John. Here you ares old timer. (SCRATCH) Thank you, son. Well, Sheriff? Oh, I ainlt sayin', nothin', Tom. It's the Inspector here. Well gentlsmen, you donlt seem to like this :~uoh. Neither do I. F~yhe you can say something that will make it better for all of us. Chucks. Nelve got off On the wrong foot somewhere, Mr. Irwin, ~hyp I1ve known thes~ folks all ~$ lifo, And Bill hotels worked for me three years,...reckon for oncet gerry must have r~de a mistake.
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IRWIN: BILL: SI~0NS: BILL: IRWIN: SILL: VANCE: BILL~ SIMMONS: IRWIN: SII@/ONS: IRWIN: SI~MONS: IRWIN: In tracking ~hose horses? You saw the m~rk yourselfI Sheriff. That left hind foot - wlth the split hoof. We picked up that sam~ print right aZ the gate to Vance I s place, (CRAFTY) Oh. Sure now. I sos the trouble, (HOPEFULLY) Whet is it, Bill? Sure. That!s one of OUr hossesf with K split left hind hoof, Sure it is. SO I supposed. POp and Johnmy was tr~illng some strays yesterday aftel~1oon,..,they rar~ed South of Guthrle quits a pleoe, looking for the orltte~°., .Yon ride near ~he line of the S.~. pa? (SATOHIN@ ON) Why, I believe I;e did, Bill. I believe we did, Xou see? Thatl8 whsre you found that tzgllI Mr, Inspeotor....Thatls how you come to pick it ~p. (P~LIEVSD) "@ell, I thought there =~st be some way to ~oco~nt for it. Of course~ HOw abo~t it, ~r. Irwin? You mean do I accept this explanation? (ANXIOUSLY) Yes, : suh? Nell...,I do,,,~IIve got ~o. Thatls right, Inspeotor~ 01course. (~DITATIVE AT FIRST) Ye-es, Irve c!ot tor Sheriff - It's going to take r~ore than the print of a cloven hoof to catch thc men who h~Id up the Arizona i~ll~
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VOICE: -16- (WIRELESS BUZZ) HAS UNITED STATES DOSTA~ INSPECTOR ...... FOL~D CLUES .... WHIOR WILL LEAD TO OAPTURE OF DESPEHATE TREIN ROBBERS .... STAND BY LUCKY gTR~KE }~DUF ..... FOR FINISH OF BULLETS AND DF2~TH. ~ ..... ,...,i ....... , ........................ (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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SU-17S~X VOICE: -17- SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE X "ARIZONA MAIL TMAIN HOLD-U?" PART II (WIRELESS BUZZ) CLEAR THE WIRES.,.. ,aLEAR THE WIPZ8 ..... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ..... STORY OF THE I~ARIZOEA-IIAIL TRAIN HOLD-UPn ...... BASED ON CASE ............... FILE8 OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ....... ~DEPANTI~EET OF JUSTICE... NASHINGTON, B.C ......... PROCEED WITH ~ASE.J.~...AT OFFICE OF ZRERIFF SI~I~SNS ..... CLIFTON, ARIZONA ........ (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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BILL: SI\~SNS: BILL: SIMMONS : BILL: SIMIdON$ : BILL~ SIL~ONS : BILL: SI~ONS: BILL: SI~XONS: BILL: SIMMONS: -is- No sir~ Sheriff. ~m through. I canlt work for you ~y ~orc. B~it Bill, I havenrt made any complaint. Oan't be do~e~r~ Si~I~O~S. Sere. Here's my badge azd gun. (CSNOILIATING) Now I don't w~nt to take your badge~ Sill. I can't wear it while youtre suspeotlng Pa and my brother John. There ainlt anybody suspecting auFbody. Then whatls that Federal man up to? Well, now, Bill, he just doesn't know conditions out here -- or folks. IZ~S going to take him two weeks of poking round to get where you and I are right now. What do you mean by that, ~r. Simmons? Of course It's rldieulous ZO suspect your father and brother -- pshaw ~- you folks growed up out here. But you canlt tell Inspectsr Irwin that -- no sir. He ls just got to be satisfied in his own time and his o~ way. Listen, Sheriff. This Federal man is trying to make a monkey out of you. Why don't you tell him to get the blazes ou~ of town? Why~ I can't do that. What right has he got here? Youlre the law in Greenlee County~ Surely, Bill - bu~ ~r. Irwin, he represents the U.S. Government and that's the law all over the country~ I canlt stand in his way -- even when I think hels wrong.
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BILL: SI~ONS: BILL: SI~,[ON$: BILL: SIMMONS: BILL: SIg~ONS: BILL: SOUND INTERLUDE: VANCE: BILLi J0~: BILL: JOHN: BILL: JOHN: BILL: VANOE: BILL: -19- All right, Itm through. Here. That's the gun you gave me. And there's the badge. Bill, I hate to see you do this. I llke a ~n to know where hels at. Youlre not tellin' me how I onghf to behave, are you~ SOn? gOpe~ That's your Business. Then therets no hard feelings? None at all, Sheriff. What you going to do now, young f~ller? Get in my flivver and drive out to the ranch. I reckon Pa and Johnny will be interested to know IIvo quit my job, So long, Sheriff. i. ENGINE STARTS UP. S. DOOR OPENED AND CLOSED, Well, Bill, ~hat did he say? (WEARILY) Nets backing up the Federal man, Pa. He Is, huhI Yeah .... Did you quit your Job? I throwed down my gun and badge and Walked out of the office. You dumb sap. You shouldn't have done that. And let him call my bluff? Not me. Bill, that Federal ~en ~ust be keeping something back. Yeah....thatls what IIm thinking, Pa. We got to stop him.
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JOHN: VANCE & BILL: JORW : SOUND INTERLUDE: SIliCONS: IRWIN: 8IhMONS: IRWIN: SI~NS~ SI~ONS: IRWIN: SI~ONS: IRWIN: SIreNS: -~0- (SO~BRELY) No. Huh? Wharfs that, Johmny? I say never mind the Federal. Sheriff Simmons is the m~n we want to get. And we gotta do it quick before him and this Post Office feller get to thlnklnT the same thing. l, FADE IN TYPEWRITER AND OFFICE NOISE. 8. DOOR IS OPENED. S%ep into my prlvate office, Inspector. IIve got something to tell you. Thanks, Sheriff -- Illl be glad to. (DOOR CLOSED - OFFICE NOISE OUT) Sit down, slr. Well - you've cost me a good deputy, ~r. Irwin. howls that7 Bill Vance has quit. Said hc couldn't work for me while his folks was under suspicion, That sounds llke a decent way to take it. It is, slr. Shucks. You'll get to know these folks~ when youtve been here a spell, ~r. Irwin, Znow them? How do you mean know them? host of lem are mighty wide and big -- kind of llke our country, leaning what, Sheriff? You might think the Vances would hold a grudge against me - on account of this misunderstanding, ~at they dontt. NO, sir.
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BUNN: IF~IN: S I ~0 N S : IRWIN: SIb~ONS: IRWIN: SIMNONS: BILL: SI~IfONS; I~VIN; -~S- Most anywhere alo~H in here. I expect heTll turn up round the next bend of the road. (TO HORSE) Hasy....ea-sy....saF, my horse wants to drink in this creek. You stay close to the sheriff, Jerry, ~nd donIZ get too far ahead, Yes~ sir. Illl watch out~ Don~t know for what~ thoI, Well~ neither do I ~- for certain. (CALLS) Irll catch up with you when this "critterlsIT had his drink. Donlt hurry. (TWO HORSES; HOOFS TROT OFF) (RE~AINING HORSE STARWS, WHINNIES AND GURGLES AS IT DRINKS) (SHOUTS, OFF, BBEAK IN) (VOLLEY OF SHOTS) What's that? Get up -- Get up| (HARD GALLOP) (FADE IN) Whols there! Hold on~ I see you! Some back here, Bill Vance~ Come back here~ (SHOTS) Whatls up~ What is it, Shsrlff? Bill ~/%d John Vanoe$ They jumped out in the road and started shootlng~ (OFF) Aw right, Simmons -- goodbye, forever. (SHOTS, OFF) Thatls Sill fired ~t me -- fill have to drop him~ (SHOTS - NEARSY) You sot him~ Wher~rs ths other one?
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SIMMONS: IRWIN: SIH~ONS: SI~ONS: IRWIN: SOUND INTERLUDE: ADA: V~OE : ADA: VANCE : ADA: VANCE : ADA : VANCE: -2g~ John done turned tall the first volley me and Jerry fired. He 1~st be nigh to New ~exico by now. I canlt arrest him there, anI he knows i~. ~ood Lord -- whatls happened to Jerry? That yellow dog Bill Vance shot hie without any w~rni~g* (HDRSE EFFECTS OUT EXCEPT FOR OCCASIONAL STAIiPINGS ) (AS TROUGH STOPPING) Pc-or fellow. He's done for. Yes....and you settled BillIs accounl too, Sheriff. He'll never rr~rdsr anN one else. I know youlre right now about the Vanoes, ~r. Irwin. How did you get on to lem? NO - I osl%It tell you now, Sheriff -- waive got criminals to capture. The first onels John Vance. Come on wetll have to ride hiiz down~ i. HORSES BURSTING OVER ROAD AT FULL GALLOP. 0. DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS. (SAD) Pa? What do ye want, Ad~? ~What are you bothering me for? Why are you packing that bag? DO I have to tell you everythln~? No, Pa. But let me help you7 anT~ay~ Will you leave me alone? I1m in a hurry, understand? Are you going far, Pa~ Denlt know - I canlt tell you, Now~ where in time did I put that .....
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ADA : VANCE: SIliCONS: ASA: VANCE: ADA: SI~ONS: VANCE: IRWIN: ADA: ADA; VANCE: IRWIN : RiNht over - (HEAVY KNOCKING, BREAKS IN) Eh? ~'~s's therc~ (OUTSIDE) Sheriff Sim*~on8. Open the door. P~ don~t -- please donIZ do anything that --~ Let him ln. Waits Let me kick this bag out of slght~ (KICKS LEATHER VALISE) All right. (AT DOOR) (OPENS DOOR) Come in~ Sheriff. (FADING IN) We'll take you alonN, Tom. l'm sorry about It. What do you mean? (FADING IN) I'Ii explaln~ Vance, if you llke. 5~t first Iive some news for yo~ -- bad news. (INTAKE OF BREATH) Oh~ Yes, mlss. Irm sorry, bu~ it)s about your brothers. John is in the seventy jall at Clifton -- we c~ught him just before he got to the New ~exIco State llne. And Bill -- is dead. (SPARTAN) Go on, He shot Jerry Burn and killed hlm~ and he tried to shoot the 8herlff too. And now, ~r. V~nce, if you donlt mind -- (CRAFTY) What do you want me for? That's my two boys youlre talking about -- not me. All right, ~r. Vance. Wet11 tslk it over if you Iike. ~Ight aS well oe oomfortable. Care to roll a cigarette from my ~m~kinrs?
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VANCE! IRWIN: VANCE: IRWIN: VANCE: IRWIN: VANCE: I~TIN: VANCE: IRWIN: VANCE: -25- Dontt mind if I do. Thank ye. Now why do yc say I had anything to do with that robbe~yV Light? (SO~TOH) Thank ye~ Well~ Inspector? In the first place, I've never believed your explanation of how the trail from the scene of the hold-up happened to lead to your ranch. One thing is absolutely certain -- the men that made that troll were the train robbers. That donlt follow, mister. Not at &ll. llm afraid it does. You seeI those men built a fire. And in that firet I found the locks~ the metal lo~ksI from four U.S. rail bags. That donlt llnk up with me or my son John. Wharfs the m~ttor with ye? But that wasnlt all I found. In the ashes of the firej there was a bit of cardboard -- it had been around a parcel post package. On it were finge~rlnts. I have just compared those prints l~th your son Johnls - they are the same. Well~ Johnny trust h~ve been ridlnN the ~ronS range that night, ll~ sorry to hear about it. 5Mr youlre wasti~I your time t~ikinI to me. Ilm honest, been honest all my Ills. I ~ish that wsre ~r~e~ Mr. V~ce. (SHAKEN) What saN?
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-26- IRWIN: Yes. You se~ ~ ~ahlt help but notice that when you roll a cigarette you f~ve the ~f pinching off the end and droppin~ it. I picked up several pieces of paper by that flze where the locks to the mailbags were -- the ends of cigarettes that had been pinched off and dropRed. VANOE: Yeht but I -- IRWIN: I observed this habit of yours when we were out here before -- and you did it again just now~ And more than tkat you did it when you stood beside that fire and burned the mail sacks~ You must have been rather nervous, too~ and smoked a lot of cigarettes, because I picked uo a good many of those ends. SIh{MONN: (SADDENED) Going to make ~rouble, Tom7 VANCE; (BROKEN) NO, you got me, I guess. YOU got me. I donrt rightly know what to do now~ ADA: Th~rers nothing for you to do, father. Sit down. I~ll -- Itll - finish - packing your bago (WIRELESS BUZZ) VOICE: GUILTY BANCHI~N AND 80N...,TIP~D ..... CONVICTED ........ SENTENCED TO FEDERAL PENITENTIARY... ~. CASE NO .......... CLOSED ..... ASSIGN~ENT C0~iP LE TED ..... (WIRELESS) ........ TP~ LONG A~ OF TRE FEDERAL LAW REACHES EVEK~'REP~ .... CRIME DOES NOT PAY .................................... (w~REss Buzz) FARR/WILLIAISON/GhIIIccn 1s/2o/3s
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's ~'h'~est Dance OrchesJ~s and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TUESDAY • THURSDAY J '*" TTT~T~T'I~O SATURDAY 10 to 11 P.M. ~ ~ / /., U %.!.t~./.~., b.~ WEAF~ASSOCIATED _ ~ ~ h~ve CHARACTER THURSDAY, JANUARy 5, ISZS (MUS20AL S:GNATU2E) HOWARD GLANEY : Ladle8 and gen~l~men, the LUCKY STRTKE Hour presented fo~ your 91e~sure by the m~nuf&cturer~ of LUCKY STRIKE ~ig&r~ttes slxty modern mln~%es wlth the ~orldrs flnest dance orehes~as~ and the famous LUCKY STRI~E thrills .... Tonlght Jack Pearl, ~h~ Ba~on ~unchausen, w211 contribute to the g~2e~y of the N~ion as he rcoalls some Of h~s aI~azlng experiences. A lit~l~ labor weIll call o~ the Baronj bA/t f~rst let's drop in wh~r~ melody a~its us ~- rlght ~t ~he feet of Abe Lyman and hls boys, ON WITH TH~ DANCE...(~HISTLE),...OKAY A~RICA~
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ALE LYMAN ~ Good evenlr~ the d~nclng with -- (TITLES) ) ( ( ) ABE LYMAN Carpet • -2- everybody, this is Abe Lyman, beginning Back to th~ man at the controls sp~ods the ~glc (WHISTLE) OKAY NE~ YORK~ HOWABJD CLANEY: Good workj Abe....that was fine to dance %o wasnlt it folks....mnd say between dances....When you touch a llght to the end of that llttls cylinder of pure white paper -- when youlre all set to en~oy a smooth, pleasant LUCKY BTRIKE -- think ~or ~ moment of all t~e oars that is used to brinE you these few moments of smoklng pleasure. The skill of the worldls g~atest rob&coo experts goes into every one of those li+~tle w~ite t~bes of golden tobacco. Every tobacco leaf u~ed in thmt dlstlnctlve LUCKY STRIKE blend is a reason for LUCK~E$' te~ng flavor....for we buy only the rlpe~t~ te~d~rest~ most fl&vc~ful tobac¢o~ -~ the 'ICream of the CropIr from Turkey and ou~ own Bouthland~ And thIB c~re in selecting the choioss~ Of tob~ccoB for LUOKY $TRIKEIB smooth~ b~lanced bl~nd is equ~lled by th~ oars w~ tak~ in making LUCKIEB ~. (~Ro CLENEY CONTINUE~ ON NEXT PAGE)
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-3- HOWARD 0LANEY: (CONTINUES) For only LU~KIES are "TOASTED"-- given the benef%t of ~ p~i~s~aklng~ sclentlfically regulated treatment whioh i~rts real mildness -- mellow-mildness, Thatrs why LUCKIES are So deilclo~s, so tempting -- why itls always such a pleasure to light up one of these fine, ~ olgarettes, Now, out of the wines step Jack Pearl and 01iff Hall who ~re knovn% to their frle~ds as the Baron Munchausen and Sharley. Tonlght the B~ron has a surprise for you ...... hcls ~oing to speak of his many thrililng experienoes and halr-breadth esoapes in the pursuit of bugs and butterflies. The Baron is a great buE-hunteri.,. in fact many Of his admirers affectlonately call him "Bugs." Hers right here now, so, ladies and gentl~mcn ..... w~ glvo you the Baron (FIRST PART -- 'IT}~ HUG HUNTER")
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-4- HOWARD SLANEY : The eminent and scholarly Baron Munch~usen has just l~ft the ~tagel...but h~ is by no m~&ns through ~or the evening. HeIll be ~ck In a short while to give ~B more of his izBpi~ed no~sens~....now the ~glc Ga~pe~ is impatient to b~ off so p~t on your ds/uolng shoes everFbadyo...wetre on our way to Abe Lymph and his orchestra. ON WITH THE DANCE ABE LY~...(wH~gTLE)...OKAY AILERIgAL ABE LYR~N: We play this time -- (TITLEg) ) ) ( ) ) ( ) ABE LYL~AIq: The ~9~gic Oarpet starts baok to the Pilot, (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YOBEI
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HOWARD CLANEY: Thirty million peopl~ owe a vote of gr~tltude to the efforts of W£11 H° Hays~ le&d~ o~ the Motion picture indus~rF who for almost te~ Tears nab stuck g~eadfastly to th~ flne ideal of gre~ter ~tlon plctu~e e~joyme~t.o..~demonBtr~tlng once again his great organizln~ power and eTflolent servlce which won natlon-wlde acclaim when he was Post~ster G~n~ral of the United States. Because he has contrlbut~d ~o much to the enjoyment of million~ of people we h~ve ~ent Mr. ~yB th~ followln~ teleg~&m~ WILL H~ HAYS, P~ES~DENT ~OTION PICTURE PRODWCERB & DISTRIBUTO~ OF A~RICA, IN~ 2~ WEST 44T~ STREET NEW YORK GITY. SIR TP~ PRK~ENT DAY HIGH QUALITY OF ~TANDA~D~ ON T~ ~ORKEN I~ A TRIBUTE TO TOUR CO~$1STE~T EF~ORT~ TO IMPROVE MOTION PICTUF~ ENTERTAIN~ENT.~..YOU THEREFORE WILL EBPECIALLY APPRECIATE THE G~AT EFFORTS WE HAVE I~DE ~N GIVING TO ~ILLION~ OF S~OEEP~$ A NEW STANDARD OF QUALITY IN CIGAP~....WE k~DE THI~ POSSIBLE BY OFFERING CERTIFIED CREDO AT THE UNIQUE PRICE OF FIVE CENTS STRAIGHT THREE FOR TEN OENTS~ ...AS A R~SU~T ~I~LIONS O~ 8~KERS ARE NOW ENJOYING TEN PLEASURE OF FINE LONG FILLE~ TOBAaO0 AND OIGAR PURITY ..... FOR CERTIFIED ~RD~O IS FINISHED UNDER GRASS°~..I HOPE YOU WILL T~ ORE~O SOON • °. • OORDIALLY VINCENT RIGGIO VICE-PRDSIDENT IN OHARGE OF ~ALES THE ~ERICAN TOBACO0 CO,ANY That telegram has just been dlspatche~ to ~° Will W. Hayes. And re~mb~ you sr~o~rs Of ~ine cigars, there is no greater cig~ v~l~e i~ ~ll Amerlo~ th~ ~rtlfied Cremo~ ~ f~ q~lltF clg~r at ~h~ ~evolutlon~rF pric~ of fiv~ cents straight three for ten cents~
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-6- ...... STATION BREAK ............................ HOWARD CLANEY: There's nothing but laughter and music ahead for ths next half hour and ~e111 have the m~slo right away. Get your boys ready Abe Ly~n,.,..there ~rs millions Of listeners who want melody and lots of it, ON WITH TF~ DANCE ABE L~%L%N...(WHISTLE)...OKAY AEERIOA~ ABE Ly~AN : The dancing continues with -- (TITLEg) ( __) ( ) ( ) ( > ( .) ABE LY~AN: HOWARD CLANEY: Here goes the hlgh-flylng Magic C~rpeto (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK1 Than~ you Abe.,,Woill call on you again in a few mln~tes..,.but here comes the Baron with his good friend Shirley. Although the Baron is ono Of the wsrldls greatest entomologists and has devoted n~ny years to chasing bu~s....he has never been oaught in a butterfly not, But letls havo his story, l~dies and gentl~men, may we present the f~mous Baron ~unch~usen~ (SECOND PART -- "THE BUG E~JNTER")
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-T- HOWARD OLANEY : That was Jack Pearl carrying you th~oug~ an amazing s~rles of his adventures as the Baron ~uncha~sen. Hell1 be back with us again at this same time next we~k. Inclduntally~ on Saturday night we'll take you into the land of romance with Gladys Rice and Robert Halllday singing songs from th~ musical comedy and operetta stage. Also on that program A1 Good~n and his orchestra will bring us the dance muslc...and now let's get back to the danclng....Abe Lyman and his talented trumpeters are waitlug for their cue. ON WITH THE DANCE.ABE LYMAN,. ..(WHISTLE) OKAY AL~ERICA! ABE LY~AN: As the Magic Carpet settles down on thc ~ncc floor we play -- (TITLES) (. ) ( ) ( ) ) ) ) ABE IYMAN: W~Wre off on that short and speedy hop. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YOHE!
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-8- HOWARD CLANEY: V~ry nice Abe ..... a lot of people must have enjoyed that..., by the way...~Do yo~ remember those ~tlrrlng Liberty Loan posters painted by Howard Chandler Christy? ..... W~ll, if you look on the billboards tomorrow mo~nlng~ you mill see another great poster don8 by this famous ~rtist -- th~ first poBter h~ has done Bince the war -- and what a fltting combination it is -- the genius of Howard Ohandler Christy and the fine quality of LUflKY STRI~ Cigarettes. Itls ~itle i~ rIForever and Ever.tl Millions o~ smokors who have dlscovered LUCKY STRIEErB flavorful blend of fine tobaccos, ~nd Itls tree milduness~ have told us that after thls pl~asant disoavery~ ±tls LUCKIES from now On -- ~IFor~ver and EverlII LUCKY STRIK~ will always give you that fine, smooth mildness ~ mellow- mildness -- for every LUGKY STRIKE is ~ITOASTED,~T As leng as rich, goldc~ tobaccos a~8 g~Qwn....as long ~s m~n and women gather to enjoy a fine, mild cigarette ..... LUOKIES will be a favorite ..... 'EForever a~d Ev~II LUCKIES ar~ ~ pleasure -- the finest, ~ildest clg~r~t~ you ever smoked~ The ~a~ 0~ ±~ wa~R ~ ~a~ ~ Ha¢~ ~o ~ da~ ~l~O~o~e ~i~ do~a~°~A~ ~ym~ ~ ~ ~y~ ga~d a~nd ~o ~I~ ~ p~a~e~ ~d ~ t~ing~ ~ ~H ~.~ DANG~ ~H~ ~Y~/A~I~KA~ A~E~A~
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ABE LYMAN: Everybody da~c~ ~o-- (TITLES) ( (. C ) (. .) ABE LYEAN: HOWARD CLANEY: Now the pilot carries on~ (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK~ That, ladies and gentlemen, concludes another LUaKY STRIKE Pio~r. Please remember~ on 8aZurd~y nighZ we bring you our elngers of romantic songs, gladys Rice and Robert Halliday. The o~ch~stra for that evening will be oond~cted bp £i Goodman~ famous musical director of many Broadway shows. Don't forg~t to soin ~s. Until Saturday ~hen - goodnight. (MUSICAL SIGNATU~.E) This is the National Bro~dcastlng Company. AGENOY/chilleen i/5/3
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FEATURIN,, ~- JACK PEARL EP ICODE XVIII ~'ENT0~OLOGY" LUCXY STRIKE HCUR JANUARY 5T 19GZ
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SU-186-XVIII "THE I#IODERN B~RON ~IU~CHAUSENE' EPISODE XVIII "ENTONOLOGY" PART I AND II BY WILLI~d~ K. WELLS CHARACTERS ~ BARON ~UNCH~USEN .......... °~oo .......................... JACK P~R~ CHARLEYd.... ~... ...................... ~ ................ bGLIFF HAL5 NOT_~E : This property is duly protected by copFrigh~ and ~y not be used in any ~ner without the a~thority of the owner thereof. It is at~thorlz~d for broadcast ~vez Na%lonal Broadc~stin~ Compa~y~ Inc.~ facilities, only an the date fi~Bt Indlcatcd her~in.
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SU-I$$-5~/III ~'T~ hODEPN BARON MU~]CHAL~EN" C~RLEY : BARON i CH~RLEYi BARONi CHARLEY: BARON~ BHARLEY~ BAR' ~i i CHaR ZY: BAR4E: CP~RLEY: 5ARN: CHARLEY: BAROn! CHITLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON! CHARLEY! EPISOEE i~lll "ENTO~0LOGY" PART I You seem all upset this evcnin~, Baron. Bh&rlev, llm so upsot I don?t kno~ if l~m standing ~nat happcned~ I~ th~s eve~ingrs D~pe~ i% saysI ,~n shoots saxaphone player and fl~e$°Ir ~an shoots ukclclc pl~ycr and fl~cs~ Vc~. And th t upset you? T~rribl~ It~ ~ll rlght to shoot a saxaphone pl~y~r but why did he h~ve to shoot th~ po~ flcas? Lct ~c ~nlighten you, B~ron. In this instance "flee" ~e~s to cscaDc1 to ~u~ a~av. ~o fl~ Donlt ~e zillF~ You ca..It f~.~ from a Flea. Don't Vou understand? Flec is to fl~ (LA ~H) Flc~s don't flyl Thcv ju~p~ Nut I t~ll Fou -~ You can't t~ll the Baron anything! I know all about fleasl Ycu ~now all about flcas? Yes sir. I had thousands of thom. Why Baron~ Y~u surprise me! Sure I had -- plcase~ I ¢onI~ l~ean what you ~n! I apologize Baron. Forgc~ I s~id i~.
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SU-IBB-XVII I BARON: CHAP~EY: BARO~: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY; BARON: CHARLEY: BARCN: CHIRLEY: BAR' iJ: C'WA~LEy: BARCN : a~RLEY: BARON: C~RLEY: BARON: O HARLEY : BARBN: CYlRLEY : BARN: CI~ARLEY: Ill1 scratch ~t out, It took me years to collect thos~ fleas. Is it possible you a~e ~n entomologist? ..... Hello? I said are you ~ student of entomology7 The su!nmary of facts relative to s~all Invertlbrate anlmals of the class I~secta, ....... WE'RE CFF~ In other words, have you made a study of insect lifo does it appeal to vou? Sure -- I got ±nsex appeal. Then no doubt you know somethin~ about the flea? Sure -- T even know the flea song. The flea song? ~%ats that? Fleas go ~way 8~1d let me sl~eo. Be you know anything about bugs? Do ! kno~ anything about bugs~ (LAUGH) I married one~ I mean p&rasites! uh~ Rel~tives~ No~ noL W~ter bu~sj beetles, ~nts Yes~ I know all about them. And also bees, and flies and la~ul t~nnls. Lawn tennis? Football, Rugby -- Hold on~ Do you :le~n cricket? You ~ot it~ Crieket~ Crickets are very, very slnart. They have a profundity of intelligence,
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SN-166-XVIII BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARlEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BA~ON: CHARLEY: BARON: CNtRLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BAFON: O,4ARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CJARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: ........ what's the insult? I said they are endowed with intellictuallty and ~cumcn° ..,...~ybe youlre homesick? Continue about the cricket~ Baron. Crickets &~ very s~rt. SO you said. So I know - o~h~rwlse ~hey oouiBa*~ tell ~ how good or bad & show i~ or a book is~ or a ...... Wait a minute~ YOU were t&lklng about erIck~t~ - not critics. Thats right~ I go~ my bu~ mixed up. ~rickots &re noisy, but harml~ss. Soce ~- other~ are fish%ors. Fighters! Yes - the Battling Crickets. I never heard ~f B&~tling Crickets. Whore do they oo~o from? Battl~ Crick, Y 8upoose you know & lot &hour bees. ~ore ~h~ ~he bOOS themselves. ~n ~y country, m~ and my aousln Hugo had eighty four million bec hives, You and you2 cousin Hugo had ~ighty four million beehives? Y~s sir, I had th~ bees and Hugo h~d the hives. Hugo h~d the hives. Eo~ years, Did you ~et much honey from the bees? ~uch? Sh~rley~ if I told you you woulinlt believe me. I don~t s~ppos~ I 7;o~id,
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~ U-168-XVI II BARON : CHARLEY : BARON i CHARLEY: BARON : C fIARLEY : BARON : BARON i CHARLEY: B~RCN: CH~RLEY~ ~AR~N: Cz~[I,EY: BARON: C~nRDEY: BARON: CHA~EY: BAEON: CHARLEY: BAROE: BAROZ: CHARLEY: -4- So fill tell you~ Every day we got not less than -- Ten thousand gallons~ Twonty thousand| I .... Twenty five, thirty, thirty fiv~ - ~o ~head~ You canrt make ~e m~d. Forty, fifty~ I ¢~I tho fifty and false You sixty -- I caJl the 81xty and raise !tou seventy. Illl call the seventy and raise yo~ oi~hty. fill ~ll tAe -- ~y whrt In the world i~ ~oing on bore? I dgnlt ~nc~ - yo~rre deoling. No~ just how much money dld you average a day? Ahou~ a hundred ~nd fourteen thousand ~allons a d~y~ On~ hundred an~ four,con thousand gallons of henry a day? Tha~s so~ ~v~r~ge, It8 a ~oney° One day I wa~ oarrving ~ barrel ~f hon~y ~nder ~y ar~ when I -- Hold it~ Wait~ You cant toll me you carried a barr~I of honey unde~ yotLr ate. YOU wouldn't belleve it? No ~ir~ Woul~ you b~ll~v~ %h~ barrel was on a truck? Ycs fill oelieve t]lat. So I had the truck undez my arm. Oh, what's the ~se.
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SU-18$-XVIII BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: ~ARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CWARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BA~'N: C PIRLEY : BARON: CP~RLEY: BARON: CHARDEY: BARON: Suddenly I slitohed. YOU what? ....... do you understand EnglishT Whys yes. DO you speak it7 ...... and they hang pictures. I said I slitched. I still dont understand you, Baron. Would you understand - "I sat down?" Yes, lld understand thmt. Well, I did~%~ I slltched~ All right, you slitchcd. And one of the barrels fell on ~ cousin Bugs, and ooverod him with honey from head to foot, Did he got angry? No ~ he was very sweet about it. We also had bees what -- Pardon me, Baron, but llve hoard so mush ~bout bees ~y head is starting to buzz. ~aybe you got a boo in your bonnst~ I suggsst ~e chsnge the subject. 8uggestlon substantiated, granulated and fumlgatcd. Substantiated, grandulated and fumigated? (LAUGH) I read books too. I say, Baron, what do you know about caterpillars? ...... what a pillars? Cater~lillars. You know what a caterpillar is, don't you? Sure -- wh~t a eat sleeps on, No, no~ A caterpillar is tho larva of a butterfly. The l~rva of a buttorfly?
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8U-166-XVIII CHARLEY: BAPON: CHARLEY: BAP~N: CHARLEY: BIRON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHAP~LEY; BARON: GHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: B~RON: CP~RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON~ C~ARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: B~R©N: -6- Yes, ~y goodness~ I never knew buzterflles had love affalrsL Como~ Baron, surely you?ve seen caterpillars -- fuzzy little insects that crawl on leaves and -- Wait! I know what you mean{ What? A worz with a racoon coat. NO doubt you know that a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. Sure - just like a silk woTm becomes a wof~n. A silk worm becomes ~ wor~an? ~re - first come~ the silk wor~, the silk worm turns into a OOOCOOB* That's right, The coocoon is turned into silk. Right again. The silk becomes silk cloth. Correct. The silk sloth booon;cs a silk dress and - doesnrt ~ilk dress beoo~ a ~o~r~? Youlre right, Baron~ The Baron is ~kwKys ~ight. I s~pposc voulvs come in contact with snails~ hKvenlt yau? This time you hit the sn~ll right on the he~d. What do you ~ean? Every horse I ever bet on turned out to bca snail. Donrt you ~hink ants are an ~iful p~st? Yes -- and ao are uneles~ and nephews and nieces --end--
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8U-I$6-NVI II CB%RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CNIRLEB: BARN: CHARLEY: BARSN: CHARLEY: BAROn: CUARLEY: ~ARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARCN: C}ARLEY: BA~ON: C~ARLE¥: ~o~ B&ron~ wait~ I was referring to insects. 80 was I, Whats a good way to drive ants out of two house. Insult them. Insult them? Yes ~ir. New in common sense can you insult an ant7 Well ~ first you got a chovey. A chovsy? Yes - an anchovy and you train it to catch an ant. You train an anchovy to catch an ant! Sure ~ the anchovy sneaks up on the ant when he aint lookinc~. He catches him una~ares. NO~ under the zlnk. The ant sccs the anchovy and starts sallln~ for his tanta. Whats a tanta? Another aunt. Well sir, they start to wrestle. The ant and the anchovy wrestle? I don't believe it, Would Vou believe boxing? NO~ Fenelng? Be they wrestlo~ That is positively the ruost unbelievable thing I ever heard of.
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SU-168-XVIII BAROB: CHARLEY~ BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BABO~: CHARLEY; BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CK4RLPY: BARON: C H~RL~ ~ : BARON ; CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BABON: CHARLEY: WaS yOU in the imL~ediate vicinity to the loc~tlon when this incident occured, S~rley? No, I regret to sta~e I was detained elsewhere. So the an~ and the anchovy proceeded to engage in a hand to hand combat. Cheerio~ 0berry pie| When the ant becomes exzowster -- Exhausted. ~XXC --- 80W ---- ZOO -- Pardon ~le, Baron, but do you stutter? I was -- could you move in? I sald do you stutter? (LAUGH) 0nly when I speak. When the ant becomes exzowsted. The word is exhausted. I know -- but I cant say exhausted, You jus~ said it. (LAUGH) ~istakes will happen. ~Tnen th~ ant oecomes -- knocked out~ You pick him up and tell him a joke. You tell the ant a Joke! Yes ~ and ~rhen he opens his mouth to laugh you slap him in ths face. You slap the ant in the faoe~ Yes - that ~kcs him I~ad, Baturally, So mad that he jumps out of your hands, ru~s away swearing he will never anter your house again. Baron - that's a hard one to take.
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SU-185-XVl II BARON : CN&RLEY: BARON: O~IRLEY: BARON : CHArLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0N..NLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON -9- (LAUGH) Its a hard one to tell. What about flies? Flies -- I use to be one. You used to be a fly? Sure - a fly by night. A fly by night? And in the day time I published a paper, A Newspaper? No. A fl~paper, And my brother ~as a fly ketcher. A fly catmhez? Yes - he played left field for the giants. You still havenlt proven Fou know anything ~bout real flies, Baron. Well, whsn it comes to flies there is nobody flier~ I anow every fly what flies and some who are just learning. Then tell ~e - what is that strange looking fly that dust landed on ray hand. Let ~is see -- I~y goodness, Sharley~ Thatls the first time I ever seen this fly in this country. What is it? Its a Fron~geltipper, A Fromageltipper? Yes -- commonly called the Cheese Fiy, Why is it called the cheese fl?? Because it flys around for hours, for da?fs, for weeks~ and only lands on a place of cheese. Only lands on a piece of cheeee~ Yes.
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SU-188-XVI II 0HARLEY : BAH(N : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: B~RON: CHARLEY: BARON~ -10- Well, mhst is it doln~ on ~e7 That you'll have to tJ~e up with the fly. But Iim not a pisce of cheese~ I didn't say you u~as, but -- (LAUGH) But wh~t? You can't fool a cheese fly, Oh~ ~aro~ Oh, Charley| (~ H tF PART I)
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S ~-I38-XVIII CP~RLEY: 3~P~N : CF~RLEY : BARON : C UARLEY : B ,NON : C~ARLEY: B~RON: CkAELEY: BARC~ : CHARLEY: BARON: S~L~RLEY: BARON; CHARLEY: ~ARON: CHARLEY: BARON: -1.1- "THE 0DER2~ BARON HS~IC~S£N'I EPISODE XVlll kIENTOHOLOGY'C PART II Tn,t new medal is a dand}~ B%ron, ![here did you get it, Fro~ th~ Havor of ~ew York, From the i~ayor of New York~ Thats Quite an honor. ...... Its cults a nedal. Wh~t did you get it for? For drivi~ flies out of Zhe city. For driveng flies out of New Yol@ ~ity? Tn~t~s wh t you heard ~nc. How did you a¢oon~lish anythin~ so !i~u~itudlous? ........To err is ~umor - to forgive is i*~osslble. 0o~ae, Oom¢, Baron~ Tell me how did you drive flies out of New York City? Well, first I g~t a big Zruok - and I filled it with sugar. You got a bI~ truck and filled it with sugar? Yes - anS this way I k~tched millions of flies. Its a ~ll known fact that you can catch more flies ~ith sugar than you can with Vinegar, Sure - and you o~u ketch more moths with overcoats uh~n you can ~Ith p~lm beach suits. True. Well sizl Whe~ the truck was loaded with flies, I stepped on ~he g~s - and drove them out of the city,
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SU-INN-XVIII CHARLEY: BARON: CVARLEY: BARON~ CHARLEY: BARON: CUmRLEY: BARON: ~RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARDEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OE~gLEY: ~ARON: CP~RLEY: BARON: You drove them out of the city? Yes - I took them for a ride. Whore too? ChicaNo. That filled Chica~o ~ith flies, didn't it? N~re -- so I Not a~ather medald Wh~t for? For driving them back to New York. And when ~he liayor of Chica~o !)inned it oz ~e he blt me, ~hen ~he ~i~yo~ of Ohlca~o pinned ~he m~dal on you he bit you~ Y~s°.~ ho bit 1~e good bye° Flies caused my Uncle Yulius to lose his job ~Ith the Boston 81mpfunny Orchostra. NO~ how eoul~ flies do a thing llke that? The flies &d~d so m~ny ~xtra notes on his i]~uslo that he !~ept pla~ing ~en minutes after the orohest~ stopped. What is you~ favorite bug~ Baron? A kissing bu~. ~Ine i~ the potatoe b~g. I had a pota~oe bu~ onc~ bu~ I let him go because he was too p~rtlcular. Th~ porcine bug was too p~rtlcular? Yes -- he waisted ~ravy wlth hi~ potato~s. I suppose y~u caught ~ny b~tterflys. i lilllon~ ~nd ouce ~ butterfly ~aught r~.
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SU-156-X-YIII C~ARLEY: BAPON: CHARLEY: BARON: C~ARLEY: BARON: CBARLEY: BARON: OVARLEY: BARON: CBARLEY: BARON: O~RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CBARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: -13- A butterfly caught you? Yes - I was walking along Broadway and I bunked into a butterfly aud I - Just a moment~ ~Wnat kind of • butterfly could you have bunked into on Broadway ? A 3roadway butterfly. A Broadway butterfly? Sure -~ I was ~ Ju~e bug and she w~s a w~sp. What do you mean you were a June bu~ and she was a ~asp? I r~arried he~ In June and got 9tu~ But one nlght she got mad and l~ft me. Why did she get ~m%d and leave you? All on aocount of a flying crab. A flying what? ..~...~aybe I better hang up. ITm sorry, Baron ~ I heard what you said but I want to sk%ke 8u~e ~y ears didlqft deceive me. There is nothing the ~tter with your ea~s~ Sharley~ you j~st donTt heat good. I said on account of a flvlng crab. I never heard of a flyin~ crab. See - you don't hear good. I bet you never even heard Of a whistling-~termel~ono A whistling watermelon? Or a laughing grapefruit. No, I did not~ (LAUGN) Neithe~ did I. What about ~hls flying crab. Where Is its habitat? ....... I beg your stuff7
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• punox~ ~o $oI ~ poz~Aoo noA :~O~V~ :AH~H~D :NOKVH :IHqHVH0 :NOKYH :XITHVHO :NOHVH :lXqH~;D :~O~VH :A~qH~nD :XZqH~O ~EOEV~ IIIAX-G~I-C8
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gU-ISS-XVIII C~4RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CWARLEY: BARON; CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CEARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : ~lS- Youlve traveled a lot in your day. Sure - and iz the night too. Itm what you call an oarth horse. An earth horse? A planet racer, a world galloper. Is it possible you mean a globe trotter? That's ItL A globe trotter~ All right, Baron. Continue. Where was I? In Rpain, Sure snough~ ~here I saw a man standing under a balcony with a sold in ths head~ A cold in the head? A guitar. Ringing a lay of love to his Senorlta. ........ Could you come back? Serenading his lady fair - sn old Spanish oustom. Her name was B@rn~4&. Bermuda? Yes -- an old Spanish onion. Well anyhow I stayed there for zix years. What about the fl!:ing crab? Didn't I ketch him ye~? NOr you did not, Hy goodness~ Thatls not attending to business, It certainly is not, And youtvs been half way around the world.
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SU-I66-XVIII BaP~N: CR&RLEY: B~RON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BAR0~: CHARLEY: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: C~IRLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: -16- That's awful. Sure it is, I m~st go all the way around. Come on, Baron, tell me, did you get the flying crab? Sure! Nine years later I got one in Afgani~s, Afghanlstan. Afoanlnkus -~ gusifstaff - Afgh~ista/~, Stanganls -- its gss in a o~n. Afghanistan. Afga - Cuba~ You got a flyin~ crab in Cuba -- after nine years7 Yes sir And before you left you telephoned your wife you wouldn't be ho~e for supper~ SuroI and was she mad~ Your wife was mad? Yes -- (LAU@H) Why was your wife n~d7 Because -- (L~UGR) When I got home the supper was cold, Tell me, Baron, what are those insects that travel in swarms and eat everything in sight? Relations. ~osqultos. Wait - I have it, losusts~ The same thing,
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SU-166-XVIII CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY; BARON; CHARLEY; BABDN ~ CVMRLEY : BARON : Cm~RLEY : B~RON~ CHARLEY : BARON~ CHARLEY: BA R0 N : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BAP~N: CHARLEY: ~iV- Speaking of mosquitos -- theN are eertalnly a pest~ Please Sharley ~ don~t speak bad of mosquitos. Why not? Because a mo8quito ones saved my life. A mosquito once saved your llfe? Yes - my dootor said I didnlt have enough sugar in my blood and i was lying at the point of death. You were lying at the point of death? Yes~ YOU kept it up to the last minute. Yes I ~- thatTs not so funny. Irm sorry~ Baro~. Contlnue. [ was in the wilderness - miles away from sugar. You were in the wilderness far from sugar -- Yes - when along came a mosquito and saved my llfe~ How? He bit me and gav~ me a lu~o~ YouIll kill ~e yet. I hope sO. fill never forget when my bzother first same to Amerlca. He couldnlt lay in bed. All night long he was wal~Ing. ~as Be a so~mambulist? ~,~.....o0~id yo~ eo~e to see ~e? I said, was he a so~a~oullst? No. A night watoh~k~n. One night he got a day off. One night he got a day off?
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SU-188-XVI II BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: HAROF : CgL%RLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CMARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY~ BARON; CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : Yes. HO~ can a ~n get a d~y off at night? ...Because he Is that worrying you? No~ it is not. 80 we wont talk Kbout it. The first night he slept he eoul~It sleep. The first night he slops he couldnJt sleep? Sure. YouJve got that well twisted. To get some things ~i~h~ you got to get them twisted. What for ±nst~nos7 Corkscrews. What nbcut your brother? Why couldnlt he sleep? Because ninety eight million mosquitos fl~w in the window ~d bi~ him. Just a moment~ Baron. I know that mosquitos travel in big droves b~t yo~ can't tell me ~ineZy eight million mosquitos flew in the wlndow. Was you therej gdarley? N0~ f w~8 not. SO ninety eight million mosqultos flew in the window. All right7 have it your waF. And four hundred million flew in the door. NO - it was a b~d night! gc kept yelling ~'~osquitos - mosqultos," so I got up and covered dlm with mosquito netting.
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U-ISB-XVII I CHARLEY : BARON: OBt~RLEY C~L~RLEY: B~RO~; CHARLEY: B~RON: You covered him w~th zosq~i%o ~ettir~ Yes - two hours later llghtenin~ bugs flew in the wind3w, Lighten±ng bu~s? Yes - and he started vellln~ a~aln° He started cllln~ ~aln. Yes - h~ yelled ir~y ~olly ~h~ mosquitos ar~ h~ck with flashlight s," Ch, Baron~ Oh, Sharley~ (END OF PzRT If) WILLIAI[ Z. UELLS;D
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k •
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchesfras and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TUESDAY • THURSDAY I "TTT~TFT~O SATURDAY 10 to U P.M. ~~ s~ U ~., ~./..~., m.1 WEAFandASSOCIATED .~ ~ ~ have ~x.I~ACI'~ 7 SATURDAy~ JANUARY S, 1933 (MUSICAL SIGNATURE) NONARD OLANEY: Ladies and gentlemen, the LUCKY STRIKE Hour presented fo~ Four pleasure by the manufacturers of LUGKY STRIKE Cigareit~ - sixty Ir~d~rn mlnutes wi~h the worldls finest dance orch~stra~ and the famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills ..... Tonight me ~ke ~'OU into the land of torrance as our two songsters, GladFs Rice and Robert Halllday bring us the hit number8 from the m~Blcal comedy stag~...,.~zd sp~aklng of m~sloal Comedle8 - herees A1 Goodmaz who ha8 be~n tho r~sical director for r~y of Brsadwayes most succesef~l 6how~....so letls hear from blm first. ON WITH THE DANCE AL GOOD~AN...(WHISTLE) OKAY AMERIGA~ J m
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AKNOUNCER~ (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) ANHOUNOER: C~roe ~, HOWARD CLANKY : ~agic Carpet. -2- A1 goodrich and his orchestra begin the d~nco with -- Back to the ~an at the controls speeds the ~aglc (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK~ Thal~ks Al....for speeding Zhose tunes to us on the That reminds me -- Think of bavlng dinner in Kew York tonight -- and snpper in Los Angeles tomorrow! Say~ Isnrt it a real thrlll to ~hlnk that we can make that Immens~ journey so qulcklyo....On the gr~at planes of Transcontinental and Western Air-- The Lindbergh Lt~e, men ~nd women are erosslnS ~he couniry every day in swift luxury....and~ of course~ with every modern ~qdipment for ~omfortj it is n~tural that t~se gre~t planes should provide the modern cigarette -- LUOKY STRIKE - for their passengersI enjoyment. LUCKY STRIKES a~e served on the Lindborgh Line - anothe~ example of the fact that the modern trend is towards the cigarette th~t18 t~l~o LUCKY STRIKE is ths favorite the whole country over because of its fine~ flavorfulj carefully blended tobaccos~ made really mild - mellow-mild - by the famous "TOASTING" Process - the most modern step in cigarette nkznufactu~. Why not join with those traveller~ flying the air lanes On the Transcontinental and Western Air - light a LUCKY and enjoy it~ t~ue mildness.
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-3- ("ROMANCE'I FADES DO~ AS HO~AED CLANEY SAYS:") HOWARD CLANEY : The strains of "Romance" fill the air and the 1~a~ic Sarpet brlngs ~8 into a pleasant interlude of song~ as Gladys Rice and Robert Halliday step into the spotlight. Their first song is "SilveT MoonEl f~om "/4y ~aryland" ..... perhaps yo~tll rs~ember tha~ show -- it was p~oduced in 1927. Going back ~ few years further, weIl~ hear ~ID0 I Love YO,~" o;18 of ~he o~It~t~dil%g iiurnbers From ~Raufhty Cinderella.I~ And then the scene ch~nEes to the dssert sands Of ~oroceo outside of an Arab tent where ~r, Halllday slnf~ "One Alone" just as he sang it In IIDesert Song." So those are the songs and here are the singcrs....Gladys Rice and Robert Halllday. (-'~ISS RICE A~D ~R° HALLIDAY SING: "SILVER MOON" "DO I LOVE YOU" "ONE ALONE") HOWAPD CLANEY : Those were the voices of @ladys Rice and Robert Halli~ay... • .that oharming and talented young couple who bring to~ch of romance to our Saturday nlfht programs, They~ll r~turn in a short whil~ ..... but now the ~gic Carp~ is rushing us off to the danclng*...ove~ th~ forest of ~nhatt~n skyscrapers wc go. .... to make a three-polnt landing right at A1 goodman'ts f~et. ON WITH THE DANfE.... (WHISTLE)..OKAY, A~RICAI
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ANNOUNCER: (TITLES) (. ) C ) C ) ( ) (. ) ANNOUNCER: H0WARD CL~: -4- And this time AI Good~n and his orchestra play -- We speed the ~agio Carpet back to the pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAY, N~ YORE~ In 1920 almost every one believed that the market foz automobiles was saturated -- everybody who wanted a car had one, said the prophets, all but one man -- John J. R&SKOBo He had faith in automobiles° It was RaskobTs faith In Amerlca that moved the mountai~ of doubt and uncert~inty°...automobiles be~n to sell, and Amerloan business swun~ out of the post-war slu~° He fought hard for his faith -- he fought for fine oars made available to every one....just as hard ~nd as unsolflshly as ho fought when chair~n Of the Demoorat±o ~ational Co~Ittee in 1928° He ~s la~er associated ~±th Alfred E. Smith in the building of th~ great Empire 8~ate Building. Because of his constant and abiding faith in the Amerioan ocople~ we have Just sent him this telegram: (MRo CLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-5- HOWARD O.~N~'~ (CONTINUES) JO~ J, ~SKOB E~I~L~ STATE BUILDING NEW YORK CITY SIR WE, TOO, HAVE FAITH IN THE G~T ~RIOAN PUBLIC -- LIKE YOb~eELF WE ~ P~O~rED THAT A~RICAN~ WILL I~TVARIABLY WELCOME A FINE ARTICLE SOLD AT MODEST OOST ..... SINCE WE HAVE OFFERED THAT FINE LONG FILLER CI~R ~- CERTIFIED CF~O -- AT ~I~ LOW PRt~E OF FIVE CENTS STRAIGHT, T~E FOR TEN CENTS, ~0~ ~ILLIONS OF SMOKERS THAN EVER BEFORE HAVE ~N ADVANTAGE OF OPPORTUNITY TO ENJOY A DELICIOUS HIGH ~UALI~ OI~R, MADE CLEAN AND SA~ BECAUSE IT I8 T~ ONLY CIGAR FINIS~D UNDER G~SS.°..THIS MOVE ~Ro ~SKOB ~S IN LINE WITH YOUR OWN B~I~ESS P~N~IP~S AND I A~ SURE YOu WZLL ~E GLAD YO ~OW OF ITS GREAT S~OESS°..~RY BEST PERSONAL ~IS~S VINCENT RIGGIO VIOE-P~SIDENT IN ~E~E OF SALES T~ A~RIOAN TO~CO O0~LPA~TY That telegram h~s just been sen~ to ~r. John J, ~skob. And ~11 you men ~ho enjoy a f~n~, ~lleious cigar, ~lll likewise welcome ~he new8 of this gr~a~ n~w ~e -~ the utmost in ~r pleasure is yours ~n Oer~f±ed Ore~a at 5 ~ents e~r~l~t, 3 for 10 ~ente. ........................... statlon break ............................
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HOWARD CLAYEY: Welre o~ our way ~ain to Al Goodman~ on~ of the l~ad±~E musical comedy b~nd~ma~ters, Al Goodman h~ entertained many a first nisht audlenoeI but tonight the whole oountry is goihE to step to hiB rhythms. ON WITH T~ nAN~E, AL GOOD~AN°.(WHIST~E)..OKAy, A~ERICA! ANNOUNCER~ Everybody BwlnS your partner~ to ~ (TITLES) ) ) ) ) (. ) ANNO~CER~ Here comes the hlgh-flyi~y Magic ~arpst. (WHISTLE) OKAy, NEW YORE I (FOUR ~P~ OF "RO~ANSE~') HOWARD CLAYEY: The sccnes are beiuS shifter on the stag~ of the ~glc Carpet theatre for the return of Gladys Rice and Robert ~lllday. One of the lovliest SOnES from 'IRosc ~Id" is "Roses Bloom for Lovers" whloh ~iss Rlcc and ~r, Halllday will sing first. Then our ro~tic ~oupl~ take us back to the beEi:miny of the c~ntury a~ ~hey 8i~ rITwo Little Love Bees" from that delightful showI "Spri~g ~ald. (~IR. $LANEY CONTINUER ON NEXT PAGE)
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-7- HOWARD CLANEY: (CONTINUES) From Victor Herbe~t~,~ "Prdncess Pat"~ they choose one of the hits of a score that has llve'~down through the years, "Love c Is Best of All." The spotlight floods the stage in a silver glow..., ~he orchestra of Dr. Katsmau plays softly...and Gladys Rise and Robert Hs.11id~y raise their voices in song. (ELSE RICE AND I~IR. RALLIDAY SING -- I'ROSES BLOO~ FOR LOV~RS'l "TWO LITTLE LOVE BEES'I "LO~E IS BEST OF ALL") HOWARD CLARE Y : Very good, Miss Rice and ~r. Halliday. l'm sure you pleaseC a lot of people with those songs. DiO you ever notioe, folks, that wherever you go, youill find that people who enjoy the pleasure of really mild tobaccos are almost always smoking the cigarette wi~h that little circle stamped on the v:hite paper....the LUCKY STRIKE circle. Did you ever wonder why so many folks turn so naturally to LUSKYES? Is it because of fine tobaccos? Yes - partly. The choicest, most tender and fragrant leaves go into every LUCKY STRIKE....a fins flavorful blend of Turkish and domestic tobaccos, carefully worked out by an exclusive recipe for s*~oking pleasure. But LUCKIE$ offer more than that - much more| In their quest of mildness, millions of smokers have found that LUCKY STRIKE supplies something extra .... the true mildness imparted by the "TOASTING" Process, that makes LUCKIES different from ordinary cigarettes! For, thanks to "TOASTIi!G" LUCKIES give you real mellow-mildness. Th~'s why millions, in their quest for a~rlild cigarette, always S~k for LUCKY STRIKE.
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-8- • HOWARD CLANEY : Before we get hack to the dancing, maF I say a word about our Tuesday night program. We will present anotho~ thrilling dramatization of an actual case handled bF the Federal Agents in Washington, DoC......,Thls case is known as "The Paid Killer," and is taken from the files of the United States Bureau of Investigation, Department of Justice, On that night we will also bring you Jack Denny and his Orchestra ..... hut letXs get back to this evening18 maestro, Al Goodman, whose intoxicating me~s will go r~ght to your toes. ON WITH THE DANCE, AL GOODI~AN...(WHIBTLE).oOKAY A~ERICA! ANNOUNCER: > ) ) ) ) ANNOUNCER: HOWARD CLANEY: Without fuzther ads AI Goodman and his Orchestra play-- We shoot the ~aglc Cazpet bach to the pilot. (WHISTLE) OEAY, NEW YORK! That, ladies and gentlemen, brings another LUCKY STRIKE Dour to a close -- On Tuesday night welll bring FOU a thrilling drarQ%tlz~tton sailed lithe Paid Killez"...and for the dance r~uslc o~ that program.,..Jack Denny and his Orohostra. Until Tuesday then -- good-nlght~ (~USI~AL SIGNATURE) Thls IS ~he Natloru~l ~oadcasting Co~pany. AOENCY/chilleen - I/6/3Z
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modern Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchestras and Fmnous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TUESDAY • THURSDAY / " vv'tr I"~'r~'r'r.t'~ SATURDAY 10 to 11 P.M. ~ /~ ~/~ m'~I~'£ r'~ WEAF~ASS~TED ~ ~ ~_ b~ve C~-IARACTER TUESDAY, JANUARY IO, 1933 ( ZUBICAL CIGNATUHE ) HOWARD CLANEY ~ LadieB ~nd ~entle~en~ the LUCKY CTRIKE Hour presented for your pleasure by tho ~nufactu~ors of L~k~Y STRIKE Cigarettes slxty mod~ mlr~utes w~th the worldts fine~t dailce orchcstr~B, a~d the famous LU0~ BTRIKE thrills ..... Tonlgh~ we have another dramatization of an actual oaBe f~om the filo8 of ~he Unlt~d States D~pa~tmen~ of Ju~tlc~ at Washington, D.~. This case is cal1~d "The Paid Kil1~r~ ..... it's a thrilling story of the ruthles~ ~haracters of the underworld and the ~deral Agents who represent law and o~d~r. But flrBt~ letls hav~ some dan¢o m~Bic,..°J~ok Denny~ th~ gen±~l ~stro~ Wh~ pr~s~d~ nightly In ~hc ~mpire P~om of th~ Waldo~As~orla Hotel is ~11 ready to pour fozth the ~elodyl so -- O~ WITH THE DANCe, JACK DENNY...(WHIST~E)...OEAY A~EP~CA~
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-N- JACE DENNY: Good eveni~N7 everybody. you all to dance to -- (TITLES) ) ) ) JACK DElVNY : HOWARD CLANEY : This is Jack Delany inviting We shoot the Magic Carpet back to the Pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YORK1 Thank you~ Jack. Your~e ~kiDg history with those And sp~aking of history - in Paris recently they celebrated the hundredth annlver~ry of the Cigarette, and here is the interesting story about it. A hundred years ago Eg~tian soldiers captured a Turklsh caravan laden with tobacco; in order to smoke it they rolled it in the paper casing from their cartridges, - and so the Cigarette was bornZ What a far cry it is from the rough make-shift Cigarette of a century ago to th~ ~odc~n Cigarette of today ~ LUCKY STRIKE. Today people are net content with ~ke-shifts - they want to know they are g~ttlng fine quality and high value - and what a delight it is to people to find in LUCKY STRIKE not only the choicest of fragrant, flavorful tobaccos -- hut tr~mildaess as well; that real~ delicious mellow-mildness which only the modern '~TOASTINGn Process can impart to fineI ex]Jcnsive tobaccos. (MR. CLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-3- HOWARD CLANEY: (CONTINUES) You smokers have found in LUCKY STRIKZ real smoking pleasure .... tobaccos that are packed fir~yj - f~ll welght~ - fish, smooth, truly mild smoking ~nJoymentl An~ Bay -- Isn't It a joy to have your tobacoonist offer you two packs of LUCKIE8 for twenty-flvs csnts....%oday he is glvfn~ !7o~ an extra measure of value in ths finest, mildest, most enjoyabl8 of c~g~rett~s -- LUCKY STRIKE~ HOWARD CLANEY: And nowI settle down in your easT eh~Ir. ...... put out th~ liThts and liston~ as th~ first act of "The Paid Kill,r" unfolds, This is a dr~mati~atlon of a real case from the file~ of the United States Burea~ Of Inves~igatlon~ Department of Justice at Washlng~on, D.C, Speolal Agent Five is listening for orders and ~nstructlons ~r~ flashln~ ~hrou~ ~he ~ir from headquarters, (WHISTLE) ON WITH TRD 8HOW~ (FIRST PART -- "Th~ PAID KILLER")
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-4- HOWARD C~ANEY : That's the first act~ Sam and glnlce have committed crimes in Texas and Oklahoms, and arc making their get-away. How will the Federal Agents get on their trail? We'll hear the final act of this drama in a short whilo; but now, the prograrl, calls for dancing. The ~aglc Carpet is off to gather us in from the four points of the compass and bring us right back to Jack Denny. ON WITH T}E DANCE...(WHISTLE)...0KAY, A~ER/SAI JACK DENNY: This time we play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) JACK DENNY: oontTols, The Naglc Carpet speeds back to the ~nan at the (WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YOBK~
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HOndA RD CLANEY : A finer quallt~r at lower cost -- AlfrEd P. Nloanj Jr, p President of G~neral hotors Corporatlonj is one of th~ Nir~t business l~ad~rs to dlscov~r that ~reat s~cret. He set up for General ~o~ors a high ideal -- of giving peopl~ f~ner, more beautiful oars for les~ mo~eN, Fro~ Cadillac ~o Oh~vrolet~ t~ General ~oto~s c~rs -- now oz dlsplaF in N~w York at Grand Cen~r~1 P~l~oe ~nd the Wal~or~ Astorla ~ with their r~volution~ry noqdraft ventilation, their s~y1~, rich beauty aud plus valu~ throughout, give amplo proof ~hat ~r. ~1oan ~nd h~s ~s~o~lat~ have attained their ideal. And that is why we hav~ juBt sent Alfred P~ Nloan, Jro this wire~-~ ALFRED P~ NLOAN, JR., PRESIDENT GENERAL ~OTORS CO~PORATION 1775 BFSDADWAT NEW YORK C~TY I ~NOW THAT GENERAL ~OTORS HAS E~ODIND FINER QUALITY THAN N~R BEFORE IN ALL ITN LINEN FOR N~NNTENN THIRTY-THREE AND I KNOW YOUILL BE INTERESTED IN ANOTHER INDUSTRE WHICH IN ABLE TO OFFER THE PUBLIC FINER QUALITY AT LOWER COST ..... THPOUGH QUANTITY PRODUCTION ~N ~OD~ II~ACULATNLY CLEAN FACTORIES WE ARE ABLE TO OFFER CERTIFIED CRK~O CIGAR~ TO PUBLIC AT FIVE CENTN ~TRAIGHT THREE FO~ TEN CENTS .... MILLIONB RAVE ~ELCO.~ED EAGERLy THIS C~OICE LONG-FILLER CIGAR AT PRICE WITHIN REACH OF ALL....A~ YOU HAVE PROVED GIVING FINER Q~ALITY TO THE PUBLI~ ALWAYS BRINGS LEADERSHIP°,. ~VERT BEST W~EHE$ VINCENT NI GGIO VICE~PRE~IDENT IN ~HARGE OF RALEE THE Ak~ERICAN TOBACCO CO~PANY (~R° C~ANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-6- HOWARD C~ANEY: (CONTIN~$) And th~t~ l~dles and gentlsmsn~ is the wire which le~s than five minutes ago waB flaBh~d to Alfred P. 8Lo~ Jr.~ President of G~n~ral ~otors corporation~ Azd re~ember all you men who en~oy a flne c1~a~ -- in Certified Cremo you obtain fine quality at lo~er cost~ for Certified Cremo is ~ow flve Ce~t~ stralght, thrc~ for te~ c~ts~ ............................ STATION BREAK ........................... HOWARD CI~NEY: Before tS~ c~taln rises on the final ast of tonightIB drama~ letls have a few mor~ d~noes ........ Jack Denny and his Orchestra are waiting, so here we go. ON ~'~TH THE DANOE~ JACK DE~NY...(WHISTLE)...OKAY,AMERICA! JACK DENNY: Everybody c~ncc to -~ (TITLES) ) (. ) ) ) ) JACK DENNY: The ~gic Carpet is o~ its way. (WHISTLE) OKAY, N~" YORK~
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-7- HOWARD CI~NNY 1 The stage is set for thc last act of "The Paid Killer", a dran~%tlz~tion Of an actual case from the files of the Wnit~d States Bateau of Tnvestlgatlon, Department of Justlos at WashingtonI D.C. S~m 8md Bruce, %wo Chicago ~/nmenj are drlviDg through Oklahoma at top speed. In Texas they did the job they were hired for - shot doom ~d ~illed the Sistrlct Attorney - but in 0kl&hon~ they committed a or~mo that thelr boss~ ~ick3 dldnlt know about ~ they ~obbed the ~ox office in & ~ovie theatre°.. ....... so f~r they have ~luded Cap~ure......~nd now letr~ ~et on with the s~or¥, Special A~ent Rive is receiving orders from h~adq~art~rsl (WHISTLE) ON WITH THE SHO?f! (SECOND PART -- "THE PAID K!LLER'i)
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-S- HOWARD CLANEY: Well~ ~he ~traiu IB over~ Bruce was confronted with the evidence, and confessed to the plot and the cold-blooded killing of the District Attorney. This is Just smother example of t~ fine work of the Federal Investlg~torB. Next Tuesday night wetll present another case from the Unlt~d ~tat~ Government fil~ ~t W~Bhtn~to~3 D°S. ..... but right now we t~r~ ~gain to Jac~ Dennyo....a ~reat ~uslcia~ leading a great band° ON WITH THE DANSE~ JACK DENNy,,(WHISTLE)..OKAY, A~ERICA JACK DENNY: JACK DZ~Y: We continue with -- (TITLES) .) ) .) ) .) Climb aboard, heze goes the ;~agio Cazpet. (WHISTLE) OKAY, AI~ERICAI
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-9- HOWARD GLANEY: Splendid, JaCKo...~ hope all you listeners enjoyed tho~e tuneg as muoh ae I dld1°°...o.A~d s~y~ when you Smoke yonr cigarette in the dark3 have ~o~ notlced that the redI softly glo~Ing tip Is never longer th~n ~ ~u~rt~r of an inch at a time - ~nd yet in that tiny ~e& is the r~l Pl~sure Zone° Wh&t h~p~ens In that tlny~ glowing zone determlne~ yo~r ~moking enjoyment? And that Is where your LUCKY S~RIEE is so distlnctlve - so dlff~rent from o~h~r clg~rettes. For LUGKIES ~re made not only to look right but to burn right. In th~ flret pl~ce~ ~e seleo~ only the most fra~ran~ domestic tob~cco~ - then p~tien~y, carefully blend them with the cholo~st Of Turkish tob~cco~. Th~tls where L~CKI~ g~t that fine delicious obar~cter. Th~ th~se fine lIC~m of the ~ropII tobaccos are glven the benefits of LUCKY STRIKEIS famous I~TOASTING~I Process..~ ~n e~cluslve st~p that b~In~s to LUCKIE8 ~ll the etored-~p luscious goodness - that gives to the fin~ silken ~UCKY ~TP~IKE tobaccos the t~e~ mellow-mildness which only pu~If~ing heat can ~chlev~ ~ that fr~es the lon~, f~g~nt s~r~ds ~rQ~ f~t-b~rningI c~de p&rtlcl~. LUCKIES ~lways burn slowly and ~v~nly from tip to tip -- LUOKIE8 n~ver drop sparks upon your go'~. And of cours~ you appreciate that s~rvl¢~ of your toba~conlst ~ the price - two p~ok~geB for twenty~flve c~nts~ at whlch h~ today so g~ciou~ly off~r~ yau ~UCKIE$ ~- A 193~ ~rice for the fln~st of ~ll clgarette~ - LUCKY $TBIKZ !
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~IO- ~WARD CLANEY : We'll get bac~ to the dancing in ju~ a moment but first let me remind you that on Thursday night we'll ~gain have with us that distin~dished personage, The Baron Mumchausen, ~ho is also known aa Jack Pearl ....... On that night George Cleon will furnish the dance music. ..... and now lefts have some muslc.o...J~ck Denny is ready and waitlngI so we are going to drop right u/%der hls baton. ON WITH ThE DANCE~ JACK DENNY...(UHISTLE)..OKAY, A}CERICA! JACK DENNY: As the ~aglc Balpeh settles down on the dance floor, we pl~y -- (TITLEB) } (. .) ) ) ( ) JACK DENNY: HOWARD CLAHEY: We take that short and speedy hop. (~HISTLE) OKAY, NEW YORK~ And that, l~dles and gentlemen, brings ~his LUCKY STRIKE Hour to a elo~e°...donlt for~et to tune in on Thursday night when wc pr~ent J~cg Pearl~ the Baron Munchau~eni and Gsorge Cl~enls famo~8 orch~strao ~ntll Thursd~F then goodnlght! (MUSICAL BIGNATUHE) This is the N&tlonal Broadcasting Company. ASENGY/chilleen **~ *** 1110132
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"THE PAID KILLER" PARTS I AND II FOR LUCKY STRIKE HOUR JANUARY i0, ig33
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N~CTERS: BRUCE DICK AGENT DALE AGENT RINEHART 8A~ KENT (OKLADOI~A POLICE CHIEF) SPECIAL AGenT FIVE EPISODE XI P'T}~ PAID KILLER" PARTS I AND II OFFICIAL STORY BY GEORGE F. NI~ER DP~NIZATXOD BY FINIS FARR ADD GREGORY WILLIAMSON VOICE "AO~' PEDDLE TON DISTRICT ATTORNEY GRAY POLIOEKAN ~RS. GRAY ~OVID KANAUER BETTY (HANAGER'S DAUGHTER)
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SPECIA~ AGENT FIVE EPISODE gl lITHE PAID KILLER" PART I (WIRELESS BUZZ) VOICE: CLEAR THE WIRES....CLEAR THE WIRES....,SPECIAL AGENT FIVE...,..T~OBGH COURTESY OF J. EDGAR HOOVER ....... DIRECTOR UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATREN ...... DEPARTHENT OF JUSTICE ..... YOU ARE PERMITTED TO RELATE AUTHENTICATED STORY OF rrTRE PAID KILLER" ..... BASED ON CASE NO .............. FILES OF UNITED STATES BUBEAU OF INVESTZGATTON ..... DREARThiENT OF JUSTICE, WASHINGTON, D.C ........ SPECIAL AGENT FIVE, PROCEED .... (WIRELESS BUZZ) SPECIAL AGENT FIVE: Special Agent Five talking ..... the story of "The Paid Killer."...,...real people. ..... real clues. ..... a real case....for obvious reasons, fictitious n~88 are used throughout.....ouz case begins in an under-world hangout on the South Side of Chicago ....... (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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BRUCE: SA~: BRUCE: SA~: BRUCE: SA~: BRUCE: SA~: BRUCE: 8A~: BRUCE: $AI: NIOK: BRUCE: NICK: SAM: NICE: -N- WelI~ where's he at) anyway? I ainlt ~oing to wait here all night. Re'll be hero right away, B~I/co. He told me to be sure and stick around. This guy Nick. Where does he get off, making us w&it7 Figures that beTS the boss, I suppose, Sure, 8&m. And me and you do all the work. We wasnlt so n~ch when Nick took up wlth usl I was driving a cab and you was errand boy for a bootlegger. Sure, sure, And whets got guts enough to pull a trigger? You and me, pal~ Not this guy Nick -- Well~...you got to fix it so somebodyrll ~ you for pullln' a triggerj Brace. That's where Nick comes in, Yeah? I'd just as soon do my shootinT for fun. I like to *~ake lem fold up. You'll get in trouble some day, YOU ought to go easy with that kind of stuff, You aiurt heard anything yet. Just walt till Nick shows up. I'm going to get him told -- and plonty~ (DOUBTFUL) You better go easy till you -- (DOOR OPENED AND CLOSED QUICKLY) (FADES IN QUICKLY) Hello, boys. Now's the kid, Bruce? IIm all right. YOU don't sound very cheerful. He ain't feeling so good, Nick. DOZTt mind him. (KEENLY) What's the trouble, kid? Do you want me to send out for a deck of Old Lady White?
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BRUCE : KICK: BRUCE : NIOK : BRUCE : ~ICK: BA~ KICK~ BRUCE NICK~ BRUCE : NICK: BRUCE; NIOK~ BRUCE~ NICK~ EAh : NICK: Nab..ya oanlt make a hophead out or me, Rick, I don~t llke the stuff. it lookB like ~elve got to Net you a change of cllmatc~ anywayo (PETULANTLY) Well, lira sure elck of sittlnI in this dumb Joint8 But i alnl$ Not a cha~oe of taki~l a tr&lu Out of to~ OR aocou~t of tho oopB~ Sa~ ~- whatc~ha trying to do, Nick -- kiss me bRe-bye? Douft worrF, kid -- if I w~nted to get rid of you~ led hlr~ ~omebQdy ~l~e t~ do It~ Wcli~ you gotta do som~thlng -~ or I'll go nuts sitting around here. Itll glve you the pay-off now. ~o~ro going ~ a little trip to Tex~s. Littl~ trip? llve llzed ~R a job for Br~ce in a to~wn called Bremen. Ever h~ar of it? Bremen, Texas. Naw~ I ainTt never h~ard of It~ What am I ~ppo~cd to do down there? (DiSTiNCTLY) You're ~oing to klll a guF. What kind of a guy? ~r~ you want to know? ~Im askln~ yah. Woll~ Itls the District Attorney. ¥~ah? The D.Ao -- a~d Fou~re elected to give hi~ the blto. Li~o~, Kiok -- a Dis~rlc$ Attorney! That sound~ rcd hot~ You dlctult hoed to know who the .guy was. But ~verythiugls oov~r~d. Itls ~asy.
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BRUCE : NICK~ BRUCE! NICK: BRUCE: NICK: ~RUCE; NICK: SAM: SOUND INTERLUDE! PENDLETON: NICK: PENDLETON: NISK~ -4- District Attorney or no District Attorneyj I guess heWll go over whtn the slugs run into him. You said it, kid, YOU know your stuff But I still don't see how llm senna get don there to do the job. The bulls'll pick me up if I go near a railroad statlon. Listen -- thatls my worry and not yours. But if itls botherlnt you Irll put you wise, Sam here is senna steal a oar, and we'll all ride to Texas in it. Thatls a good ide~, Nick. And I got abett¢r one, Let's hear it. If Samrs senna cop a oa~ for us, why doesnlt he grab my old 1;anls? Then if anything goes wrong, m~ybs I can talk the old guy out of making trouble. Say, youtre all right, kid -- youlre using your head. Did you get it, Sam~ Clown on to BraceTs fatherls car, YouJve seen it around -- the green touring job, Itrs Just what werll need to get us down to Texas. What do you say~ S~m? You get me~ donlt you? Sure Nick -- Itll get the car. i. MOTOR OAR STARTING UP AND RL~INING OVER ROAD. 2. DOOR OPEN AND CLOSE. Sit down~ Niok..Glad to ses you. Thanks~ Pendleton~ Don't Elnd if I do. Have a good trip? Yeah. We drove down,
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P~NDLETON~ NICK: PEI~DLETONI NlCKi PENDLETON : NICKZ PENDLETON: NICKi PENDLETON! NICK: PENDLETO~! NICKi PEND~ETON: NICK: PENDLETOK: NICK: PKNDLETONI -5- That's good --- yeN, that's all rlght. When ere you ready to do your 8tuff~ The Minute yo~ show me five gr&nd in c~h~ I got %he dough right here. All the gambling house Keepers iz the COUnty subscribed to the fund. But eve~ if theN h~dn1~ lid have pu% up the mo~y ~yB~lf for %h~ pl~s~r~ of seeir~g that nosey so~and-8o bumped off~ ThiB ~y ~zay ha~ b~n bo~h~rlng you ~ lotj hasntt he ? Ye&hI hols spoiled &ll the raokets &nd put a lot Of the bONs behind b~rs. Nels OUt of Line -- way OUt of line ~- ~nd you ~ys &~e Kolng to bring hi~ ~ck~ How ~bout ~fte~ we~v~ doze it? You knovl m~ -~ you k~ow Aoe N~ctleton. All you got to do i~ ~ke your get&way. TheFtll ~ever get ~nythi~~ Out Of 10~l If the ~et~w~yls bo~heri~ you, forgot abo~t it. Now's thatj Nick~ When the D~A. di~s, I'll boa long ~y off. Yeah? ~y boys will k~ow what to do. And if th~yVre c~ught Itls tough l~ok~ but we oanlt h~lp ~%~ see? They know about m~? Never heard Of you~ Pendleton. gay, you are sllck~ ~Y Chicago cont~c~ had I~ rlgh% whon he called you ~ sn~k~. If IIma sn~k~ ~nd ~ let ~om~body el~c c~rry the rattles~ Think it over, P~ndlotonI Itr~ the b~gt -~y. How ~bo~t p~ying o£~ your gunmen?
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EICK: PEEDLETON: NICK: PENDLETON: NICE: PENDLETON: NICK: PE~DLETO~: NIOK: PENDLETON: NICE: PENDLETON; NICK: SOUIiD INTERLUDE: HRS. GREY: GRAY: ~IRS, GREY: TheFt11 Ket theirs whe~ we meet afZer the job, Five hundred bucks apiece. (ADMIRINGLY) And Vou keep four grand, Boy, boy. Get w1~e. Any fool can pull a trigger, But It takes brains to o~anize a mob. Y~ah~ I ~des~ you prove that. (BRISKLY) Well, letts get this thin~ set. Where does Distrlct Attorney G~ey h~ng out? You mean hls ho~e? Yeah. You goln~ to get him there? Ku~e -- l~ss chance of being identified. His hous~ is at I~0K Floral Avenue. What time does he generally show in the morning? He always walks to wor~ ~- and he leave~ the house around eigh~-thlrty every day. O.K. ~hen h~ leaves tomorro~ morning the r~ceptlon committ~B will bo waiting for him~ 1. AUTOMOBILE DRIVES OFF. ~. FADE IN S0~D OF aHINA AND SILVER, Won't you hav~ another cup of coffe~ d~r? Donlt think IIll have ti~e, th~nks -- I ought to be going righ~ now° It's nearly eight-thlrty. Rober~ you promised me when you flnlshed prosecutin~ the gambling-house keepers yould take thing8 a llttle easler. I donrt see why you h~v~ to be in your office bcfore nln~ olclock.
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GREY : ~R8. GREY: GP~Y : MRS. GREY: GREy : MRS. GREY: GREy : MRS. GREY: GP~Y : MRS. OBEY: GREY: MRS. GREY: BRUCE : GREY : BRUCE : GREY : BRUCE : MRS. GREY: -T- Tim an early birdI you know, Martha. Tell you what 1111 do: Itll come hone about four this afternoon. Howls that? Well~ it helps a little. You must mind your health Rob, not to Overwork yourself. What are you looking for? ~y hat~ Now, where in the world did I -- (FADING) Right where you left it. I'll ~et it for you. Oh, I see. Thanks. Here you ~re. Anything else? Briefcase? Papers? No thanks~ dear. Nothing else this morning. Coming to ths door w~th me? Of co~rseQ And you will remember about coming ho~e? I promlse. (DOOR OPENS) Goodbye, Rob. Goodbye, deer. (BUSINESS OF KISS) (FADING) Nee you this afternoon, (GOING DOWN STEPS) (FADED) Have a good day. (FADE IN AUTO MOTOR. HORN SOUNDED 8KARPLE) Hey there ---Eeu~ Yes -- what is it7 Your name 2obezt Grey? Yes. What can I do for you? YOU c~n get a load of this. (VOLLEY OF SHOTS. GREY GROANS) (CRIES OUT) 0h--Oh--0h~ (R~NING DOWN NTEPN) Oh, ~ohert -- Robert ....
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BRUCE: MRS. GI~Y: SOUND INTERLUDE: ~ANA GER: BETTY: MANAGER: BETTY: XANAGER: BETTY: NANAGER: BETTY: NANAGZR: BETTY: -8- (FADING) Step on It~ S~m -- Step on it. So long, sister -- (~OTOR STARTC UP AND ~AHE OFf) Stop them~ in theft green car --- Polloe --- Help .... Oh, Rob, Rob, dearest (HER I~EPI~E FADEC) 1. AUTO.BILE FADES OUT. E. A~BULAEGE. g. CLOCK STRIKES ELEVEN. Eleven oJolock. ~ell~ the last show's been over for t~n ~in~tes. H&ve all the peoplc left the th~atre~ Betty? Y~s, ~hey haw, Father. I just looked. You put out the houselights~ ~es, I did. Well, wait a minute -~ ~lll I ~rap up this money - and we'll go home. Is that th~ weokls r~c~ipts, Feather? Yef -- ~nd ~hat do you thinE, Betty -- itJs eighteen hundred dollars! Eighteen hundr~d~ Why thatls a lot| Y~p -~ pretty good for ~ town the slze Of W~wona~ It j~st goes ~o show~ if you put on th~ best pictures yo~ ~&n get yo~ can fill your the~tre~ wherever it is. Even if it's tucked off ~n ~ llt~l~ torah in Oklahoma. Well~ welve got the best movie the~t~ in ~hSs p~rt of the state~ Dad.
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MANAGER: BRUCE: I~A~AGER: BRUCE: I~ANAGER: BETTY: BRUCE: EA~: BRUCE: EAE: BRUCE: ~/~AGER: BRUCE: BETTY: BRUCE: MANAGER; BRUCE: ~ANAGER: BR'OWE: MANAGER: Tha~rs right~ Betty -- thatrs right. From now on you &nd I are golr~ to get somewhere in the show business. Yes, sir° (DISCREET KNOCK) Whets that? (OUTSIDE) Open up. What do you want? (OUTSIDE) Come on, come on -- quit stalling. See who it is, Betty, (DOOR IS OPENED) (SUPPRESSED SCREA~ FRO~ BETTY) (FADING IN QUICKLY) Shut up. Get in here, Sam. (FADES TN) Yeah. Close that door. YeaS. (DOOR IS CLOSED) Now, donJt peepw either of yak. Why -- what do you l~ant? What is it? Welre on the rlh~ist," mister. Bet lem up, Oh - theylre -- robhers~ Dandlts~ Sam, grab that dough. But itls -- Look at me~ g~Y. Y-yes-- lld as soon kill you as wink at yo~. So donrt start beeflnr. For -- for Bodl~ sake~ bow -- take the money -- but donlt -- donlt hurt us --
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BRUCE: ~ANAGER~ BRUCZ: SAM : BRUCE: SAM: BRUCE: SA~: BRUCE: SAM: BRUCE: SA~: BRUCE: -10- (LAUGHS SUDDENLY) What a nice old guy. I wouldn't stab your dou~hj Mister, but me and zy buddy are tourin~ north -- ~nd we need traveling ex!oen~es. So after we walk out this door you and the glrl take it easy for ~bout te~ wi~te~ Thlr~k you c&n da that? Y-ye B~ Biro All right~ (FADING) Ceme on, Sam. We'll take walk~ (DOOR SLAk~E D ) (FADES ON): You lsav~ the oar in the all~y~ like I told you? (FADES I~) Yeah, it's right h~e. Listen~ Brace -- this wasn't no bright stunt. ~hat? S~ick1~I ~p ~he movIB man~er. Well, what kind of a b~ak did ~Ick give u~ for bu~plng o~t~e DoA,? F~v~ y~rd8 aple¢~ ~n~ ~ Oar w~ ~iready stole off of my old ~ The~els ~Lore dough h~r~ th~n we ~ot fro~ him. H~Is ~oz~ glve us rfx)re in Chic~go. Whez we Set there. You ousht~ th~nk m~ for ~pott~n~ ~I~ ~s~ ~k~ llke thls h~re movie theatre. 0kl&homals tree, ini ~ b~r th~n T~x~s do~. You1~l ~t t~e l~i after us~ you little rat. With wh~t? We ~intt l~ft no tr~ces. Aw rlteI aw rite. W~ ~anlt st~d hcre ~inlo ~e gotta g~t back to the car~ O.Ko Sa~. Get in and give her the juice. I~llo, South Chlc&go~ H~r~ w~ come!
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VSIOE: -I1- (WIRELESS BUZZ) HOW WILL UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION AGENTS TRACK DOWN RECKLESS BANDITS ...... FOLLOW LUCKY STRIKE HOUR ..... FOR FINISH FEATU~IEG BRILLIANT DEDUCTION .... (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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~THE PAID KILLER" PART II (WIRELESS BUZZ) VOICE: CLEAR THE WIHES~....CLEAR THE WIRES.. • ..... SPECIAL AGERT FIVE ....... STORY OR I~THE PAID KILLERJI.,,..BASED ON C~ZE NO~ .............. EILBZ OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... DEPART~ENT OF JUSTICEo.. J . WASBINGTOB~ D,Co J ..... PROCEED WITH CASE ....... IN ARTO~DBILE APPR~BING TOWN OF STRAW~RIDGE, OKLAHOI~A... (WIHELEZS BUZZ)
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BAM: BRS~E: SA~: BRUCE: SAM! BRUOE: SAM: BRUCE: SAM: BRUCE: SAM : BRUCE : BRUCE: SAI~; (AUTOMOBILE MOTOR AND HORN) Bruce~ Bruc8 for earls s~ke~ Slow up~ Welre comin1 in to a town! Wharfs eatln! ¥~, Sam? I alnrt hit anything yet! I knew ~ shouldn!t ought to have l~ you drive~ Doni~ ~al~ to me~ old-tlmer.. I!m in a hurry to get to Chi| Take it ¢~sy -- take it easy, will ya~ ThiB must be the ~in drag -~ anI -- ant s~y ~~ therels a cop on thiB corner ~head dlrectinI trafflo. Want to get a laugh? Watch what I do to him? (~o~) (0ALLS) Excuse my dust, SayBeed~ (EOLIOE WHISTLE BLOWS) Look out~ Look out for ~hat car~ OomlnI &round t~e I canft ~- I canlt -- Oh~ ~ god -- youlre headlnt for %he telephone pole -- the b~ak~s~ th~ brakes~ yo~ du~y ~ (S0REEOH OF BRAKES FOLLOWED BY 0RASH) We hit it, huh? (POLIOE WHISTLE AND OONFUSION) Are y~ hurt, Bruce? You O.K.? S~re. ~ell~ here comes that oop~ ~e be~er leg it. ~nlt leave the car. We go~ta have I~ ~o ge~ back to the city. (FADING) All right~ stay if you ~ant. 1!m gonna g~t ou~ while I can.
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POLICEMAN: BRUCE: VOICE: POLIQE~AN: BRUCE: POLICEMAN: BRUCE: POLICEMAN: BRUCE: CROWD: POLICEMAN1 BRUCE: POLIOFJ~AN: -14- (FADING IN FOLLOWED BY CROWD) Looky here, young feller. V[hat~s the matter with you? Bow do y~ I~ea~ ~fIcer? Troth~r one beat i~j Dan. Got around the corner fo~ I could ketch up to him. Never mind him. This on~ w~s drlvi~Io What do ye think this tova%is, & speedway? RunninI into a telephone DOle~ Darn ~ell se~ves Ye rlgh~. Lemme see your drlverrs license! Nell, lis~enj offi~er~ I alnlt got it wlth me. Driving withou% a licenss, hey? Wh~reld you get this Car~ Itls my old n~nTs. Belongs to ~Y father. Thatt~ wh~t they all s~y. Belongs to your f~ther~ Bow look herep ya dumb co~per~ just because youlre a hick ~nI I1m ~ city guy, ya c~nlt ---Hey, wh~tls the idea? D~n's pullln' hls gun! 8~y, who is this fellow? D~nls ~ot his g~/n on hlm~ Now~ ~ donrt vlan% ~o more Of your liD, ~d~s%and m~? Go easy, copper. Go easy with th&t oaiLnon° Illl g~ e&sy when you get OUt oI that car~ Yo~tre goln' to come ~ith me. (TO CROWD) One of you boys holler over to the drugstore. ~nd tell lem to phon~ for the w~gono IIm golnI to throw this kid into the iock-tlp %hnt~l we c~n check on who re~llF does own this
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SOLED INTERLUDE : DALE: RHINEHART DALE: RHINEHART DALE: RHINEHART DALE: RHINEHART DALE: RHINEHART -15- i. TELEPHONE R~DGS, FADES OUT • 2. POLISE PATP~L ~0TOD AND DELL 3~ ~YP~WRIYE~ 4. DOOR OPENS~ Say, Rhinehart, you got a fe~ minutes? Sure, Daleo Wh~tls on your mind? Some on in and si~ dove. Thanks. (DOOR Sh~TS) It's abou± a stolen car case. llve been doing som~ ohecki~g ~y, and I thine Ilve run on to a funny one. Well, letls hear abo~t it, Dale. ?Fnerels it from? An ~lllnois c~r thatls t~rn~d up in Oklahoma. SO far~ nothing unusu~ll Wheretd we get the Infozm~tion? Shot into the Bureau of Investigation on account of the inter-state angle. It se~ms that the kid who stol~ the car~ or anyway who was dr~vlng it when yioked uy~ i8 the son Of the registered o~%er here in Chicago. That h~ypens~ D~I~. Son steals the f~ily car ~d set8 out on a joF-r~de. S~, ~r. Rhinehart, bu~ I havenlt finished pet, I s~nt through th~ fingerprints from Oklahoma to the Dur~au of Id~tifio~tlon in ~ashlngton, ~nd it turns o~t he~s this young Bruno kld~ with a police record that would fill a book. ~ruc~? ~ ~s in the tabloids not long ~o~ wasn't he?
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DALE RHINEHART: DALE : RHIN£HART: DALE : RHINEHART: SOUND INTEP~SUD~ : RINEHART: KENT: RINEHART: KENT: RHINEHART: KENT: RHINEHART: DALE: KENT: -18- Yes~ sir, The rcco~s say hels suspected of being Zhe bike -- professional k~ller -- for one of the big ~1obs in towv±~ H~. Then ~latls h~ doing in Oklahoma? TnatTs i~l Dale, it seems to m~ this case can sta~d a bit of looking into. Where'd you say theyf~e holding the fellow? Strawbrldge, Oklahoma. Stra~brldge~ Oklahoma. ALl right, letls g~t hold of a time-table and 1111 meet you at the depot ten EinUt~S before train tlmc. i. P~ILROAD TRAIN. 2. DOOB OPENS AND SHUTS. 0hlef Kent? That's right, gentlemen. IIm Burea~ of Investigation ANent Rhineh~r~o This is my a~soclate, A~ent Dale. 0hI yes -- of oo~rse -~ I Not your wire. Youlrc here about that fellow w~ ~1oked up in the stolon car? Right. W~ll stsp into my offlcc and w~lll talk it over. (OPENS DOOR) Thanks. 0ome on~ Dale, COming. (DOOR CLOSED) 8it do~ ~cntlemeno
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RHINEHART~ KENT: P~INEHART: KENT: DALE: KENT: RHINEHART: KEPT: RHINEHART: KEPT: RHINEHART: KENT: DALE: KEPT: RHINEHART: -17- Thanks~ Chief, X want to compliment the pollce officer who made that arrest. He used his head. It just seemed like the thing to do~ he told me. WE'VE checked your prisonerls fingerprints with the Eurs~d of Investigation files at Washington, and we find that the Iron yourre holding -- or the boy~ rather - is a chap by the name of Ralph Bruce. PeTs only nineteen years old but hers been in jall often enou~h~ ~.d Is Buspsctcd of being a gang gunman -- a professional ki!~er. He looked llke a tough boy. Yes, slree, he looked like a mighty tough boy. You see, C~Isf, the stolen car belongs to his father. Well, now~ Thatts what ne said, but I dldnlt believe him. (BOLE~qLY) Yes, ile told the truth that time --- and Irm afraid hole going to be the center of a lot of trouble, Chief. Trouble? For you and for all of us. Why howts that, Mr. Phinehart? Tell me this, Chief, Have you noticed any strangers in town Che last few days. An unusual number~ or t~pe, that is7 Huh? He means strangers, that look like city men, Kent° Eight be a few dram~ers off the "doWn" train, Mr. Rhinehart. (I~0VES SLIGHT DISTANOT OFF) Take a look out this window then°
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KENT~ RHINEHART: KENT: RHINE?ART: KENT: RHINEHART: RHINEHART: KENT: DALE: KENT: -18- All ZiEht. (SLIGHT FADE) What am I supposed to see? Notice those two young men across ~he street. Eee -- leaning against ~hs fron~ of the pool hall there. Theylre not local boys, are theN? Never s~e~ J~m b~fore. ~ell, no -- I guess thsy alnlt from around h~r~. (CRISPLY) ~tll say they're not. Chief, those fellows aro mobsters -- Eunmen from th~ bi~ time. I know the type so well I could spot rem anFwh~re. Well, san I -- And the~els a couple ~or8 do~ ~t the ~i~ -- Bee rem? I ran Into thoB~ two at the 6oda fountain first te~ mln~s I w~s in ~ow~. AnI %hey donTt oo~ from around Etrawbridge elther. ChiefI Ird be willlng to bet those tough customers ar~ standing round here by your Jall just b~oause Ralph Bruc~ is inslde It! Say -- do you think th~y'll try to ~ to w_ R~sh t~e calaboose? Itls been don~ yo~ know. Well, say -- thank~ -~ for tipping ne off. Those city boys will get a lot of grief if th~y try to pry open thi,~s hoosegow| IIll t~ll you, gentl~men, I'll deputize plentN -~ eve~ able-bodied ~n in to~rn, Folks he~ wont~ sit by. WeIll Ket OUt shotgun8 a~I six shooters if we hav~ t~. W~ do,It w~nt none of th s here rack~t~er~ng in Strawbrldge, Oklahoma. No slr~ No slree~
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P~HINNHART! SOUND INTERLUDE: I~OIOD~ NICK~ BNUCEI NICK~ EDUCE: NICK: BRUCE: NICK: BNROE: MICK: MRUCE~ MICK~ (DRILY) Well, Chfcf~ I thought youtd llke to know thers were vlsitors in town. Come on, Dale -- Weld better go back to the hotel and catch a fit of sleep before the fireworks start* (000R IS CLOSED) l° STREET NOISE~ $. F~A~T ~ETAL GATE MUSHED BACK ON ROLLERS. You can talk to the prisoner in here, mlster~ Thanks, so~ulyboy~ (GATE OLAMGEM AGAIN) Well~ BrUce, howrs the kid? (DOGGED) Say - it's time you showed up~ Nick~ Mow about gettlnI me outta here? Don't your worry~ kid, The boys are all in to~rn, Ohi yeah? Sure. If I s~Id the word theyld bust this can wlde open~ They can't do it too qulck Zo sult me. I don't llEe it here, S~N -- howld you get lem to let you In? I told lem I was your lawyer, kfd~ And I am, see -- because I'm Monna flx you up. I want to get out, thatls how you can fix ms ~p. I tell Ya, It's Monna be kind of hard, Bzuce, Why doncha turn loose the boys, give this joint the "Fourth of July" treatment and blow me Out of it? Well, I been thinking, kld. ~aybe that aln~t the best way.
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BRUCE: KICK: BRUCE: KICK: BRAE: NICK: BRUCE: NICKI BRUCE: NICKI BRUCE : NICK: What is, then? The r~In~te B~m brought word that NOUtd been C&l~htI I ~t~rted figuring angles. First thing, I s~1 d to myself -- "It wonlt be hard to ~et that kid ou~ of so~ country s~iro" But thi~ Ig Oklaho~ -- ~nd 0kE&ho~ IB awful cEose to Texa~. Well, how does it add up? Kid~ ~'~ going to t~ll you the t~th -- that ~hoot~ng down there Ss hot -- ~ed hot~ SO .... (OUT WITH IT NOW) Why don't you take a small r~p? ($ULLEN~ What do you mean ~ s~all r~p? After all, you d~d do the b~mp-off of ~h~ Te~s D.Ao Well, there ~s ~or~ to that th~ I thought. And iE wg donl~ Eook outI ~om~ Tex~s r~ger ±~ ~oizg to be up h~rc just to check on you, They ~ll ~e theylre that h~ to ~et the guy that killed the prosecutor. (DOGGEDLY) Wha~ ~ that ~bout taking ~ raN? L~st~n - Itls gonn~ b~ better for all of us if you c~ g~t out of sight for a while. G~t ~n jail for a little stretch. Th~n when yo~Ire ou~s th~ T~xas shooting will be all cooled off...they wonr~ even r~m~mb~r the n~m~ of the guN that got ~hot. See? Take a rap for som~hi~ ~h&t ~i~It ~erio~1 and they'll ~v~r think to connect ~o~ ~i~h something th&tlg ~ lo~g glght ~ors~ ~TAKING UP THE IDEA) ~y°..maybe yourr~ ~igh~. ~'m t~o nloe a guy to burn for BuElinI ~ trigger. ThatTs ~n~e, kldl
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BRUCE : NICK: BRUCE ; NICK~ BRUCE; NICK: BRUCE: NICK: BRUCE: SOUND INTERLUDE: RKINEHART: Listen, Illl tell you something. While we was on o~r way up here, we stuck up a movie he.so in Wawona. Wawona? 7~lat's that? Another Oklahoma town. How would it be if I was to tell ~em T done the movie house stick-up? (THOUGHTFUl) That sounds all right. If yo~ can get most of the dough back, why it!ll jus~ mean a little time in the pew. Youlrs young -- you can do it standl~g on yo~r head. Besides, we might be able to spring you later. 8~re, ITE countlnI on that. That's the old guts, kid. YOU ~ot lem. Soon as I go, Fou send for the head ~n around here and tell him you've got a confession to make. And while you!re doing that, Till get the boys out of town before the local cops get wise. O.K., Kick. 8o longo (FADING) So long, kld. (CALLING AFTER) Be long, Nick, I'ii see y& on the outside looking in -- 1. TF~K GATE F~LLED BACK, 2. MAN WALKING ON IRON FLOOR FADES OUT. g, TELEPHONE BELL. (RECEIVER OFF NOOK) Hello. Special Agent E~inshart speaking. Yes. Oh, is that so? ~nm--thatrs Fairly surprising. All right, thanks Very ~ch. (BEPLACES RECEIVER)
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DALE~ R/4INEHART: DALE : RHINEHART : DALE : RHINEHART: DALE : RH~NEHART: DALE: RHINEHART: DALE: RHINEHART: DALE: -22- What is it? Wharfs upT That was Chief Kent!s man down at the railway statlonl Called to say the l&st two tough-guys cleared out on the noon train with tickets for Ohicago. 8o they gave up the idea of springing the kid. 8h? 20 it would seem. Dale, you can bet your bot%om dollar o~ It: Therels something rotten i~ Denmark. Shakespeare. Itm not kidding. Think it over yourself. Why would the h~adman of that ~b~ whoeve~ he is. bring his torpedo~ down to this little burg, and then turn rlgh~ around and go back again? Se~rc~ me. Changed their minds, maybe. Exactly. And why~ Itd like to know. They could have broken into that jall as easily a~ a babyls b~nk. And that leads us up to young grucels confession. Listen~ Rhi~eha~t~ I think youtre making a mountain out of ~ molehill. This case is ~losed so f~r as weI~e ~o~ce~ed~ It is~ eh? Well, Dale~ why should this kid~ held h~re on a truffle vlolatlon and stol~n ~ar chargo of his o~ f~ee~will oonfes~ a movlo theatre hold-up ~- g~nd laroony? ~aybe his lawyer told him to. Did th~ big f~llow ioo~ like an attorney to you? By Godfrcy, I s~e what you're driving ~t. YOU think that ~uce is trying to get sent up?
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RHINEHART~ DALE : P~INEP~&RT : DALE : RHINEHART: DALE : RHINEHART: DALE~ RHINEHART DALE: AbsOlutely. That hold-up charge is serious enough to mca~ a stiff sent~oe~ and hctd never have oo~fessed t( it unless heTd beer mixed up in something worse and wanted to be put out of the Way for a while~ Some~hlng wor6e? ~urder you mean? ~irc, itIB posslbke. Remember ~hat t~e reoord say@ about thi@ yotLugster ~- suspccted of bcing ~ hlred gang k111er. Have there been any crimes around hers he could have been in on? Thsrels where Foutve got me. llve b~en thinking until my head aches. Well~ listen. It's not going to do us any good to sit around here. The kid's in custody, and welve recovered the stolen oar. We m~F as well go back to tov~n for our mental gymnastics° Dale! What is it? Dale, I've got it~ Ill1 bet you any amount of money, live got It~ You remember ths killing of the District Attorney in Bremen~ TeXas? You remember his wlfels description of the oar the killers got away in? A green touring car, wi~h license plates from out of ths state? Well, what was this kld driving? Which way was he headed7 Say| Say, you may have something. He was heading away from Texa~ all r ight. But the ga~bllng interests down there were supposed to have put that D.A. on the spot.
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RHINE~RTt DALE: RHINEHART: DALE : RHINEF~RT: All right. Suppose instead of doing the dirty work themselves they hired it done -- got a big-tlmo gang7 who turned ~he job over to ihelr p~of~sslonal gun~an' By Jiminy~ Hey, hey P~Inehart, ~hatls up? ~Wnat're TO' doing? Out of the w~y, Dale, let me get to that telephone. I1m go~ng to put in a call down there ~d get ~rs. Grey~ the wldowI ~ to look at Bl~ce ~d eee if she can ideztify hI~ And you better r~tn down to the telegraph office and wire Illinois authorities complete description8 of all the mobsterB we saw betel I'll get my hat. Dale~ if we haventt or~oked thls case sitting right here in this roo~t gherlock Holmes is ~ 0hlnaman| (FADING) Hello----Hello, operator, get m~ Hremen, Texa~---I ~an~ to talk with --- I (WIFELESS BUZZ) VOICE: INFO~iAT~0N GIVEN STATE AUTHORITIES ..... IN TEXAS AND ILLINO~S....TO LINK BRUTAL KILLING O~ DISTRIUT ATTORNEY WITH CHIGAGO GANG ..... GA~° ......... UNITED STATES BUREAU Or INVESTIGATION. ...DEPARTMENT OF J~STICE, CLOSED ..... ASgIGN~ENT COMPLETED.. .... (WIRELESS BUZZ) ..... T~ LOEH ARM OF THE FEDERAL LAW RF~}~S EVER~;~HER~ ..... 0RI~ DOES NOT PAY ......... (WIFELESS SUZZ) FARR/WILLI~BON/chlIIeen z/s/ss
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DALE: ~'Jlmlny! ~ doing? R/~INEI Gut of the 1 ZI~ golr~ RHINEHART: i ~h~ SU/DpoSe la~J of doing ~he dirty wo~-~ ~mm~ws t~e~ h~re~ ~ ~ -- go~ a blg-tize gan~ ~ ~ tum~ ~he Job over ~ ~ir profeeslon~l ¢unma~ Hey, hey ~ehart', wha~V~ up? ~ttre ~m~ way, Dale, let me get to that telephone. to pu~ in a call down there and gel Mrs. GreyI the wldowI up to look a~ Bruce an~ 8ce if She can identify him. And you better run down to the telegraph office and w~e Illlnols authoritleE con~Plete deeorlp~1ons of all the mobsters we ~aw he~8~ I'll gez my hat. Dale, if we havenlt cracked this case siZZIr~ right here In thls room~ Sherlock Holmes is a OhAnaman. (FADING) Hello----Eello, operazor, gez me Bremen, Texas-~-I want to talk wlth --- f (WITLESS BUZZ) VOICE." INFOB~ATION GIVEN STAT~ AUTEORITIE8 ..... IN TEXAS AN~ ILLINOIS....TO LINK BRUTAL KILLING OF DISTRIOT ATTORNEY WITH CHICAGO GANG ..... CASE., ......... UNITED STATES BU~U OF ~]~ES~IGATION. ,. .DEPARTMENT OF JUSTTEE~ OX~SED. • • • .A~BIG~EE~T ~OMPLETED ...... YARR~ILLI~SON/ch~I; ~/sf~ .... ......... I'!
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modern Minutes with the world's flnest Dance Orchestraa and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TUESDAY • THURSDAY SATURDAY l0 to 11 P.M. WEAF~ ASSOCIATED NBC STATIONS "LUCKIES 1933 ( ~UBICAL SZGNATURE ) Ladies and gentlbmen, the LUCKY STRIKE Hour presented for your pleasure by the ~uf&ciurers of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes - slxiy modern1 minutes with the worldle finest d~nos orchestras, and the famous LUCKY eTRIK~thriIIs ..... Tonight marks our regularly weekly LUCKY STRIKE laugh festlval....he~ded by Jack Pearl, the Baron i~unch~usen, who is assisted by his friend 8harlsy ..... Sharing the honors tonight with the Baron Is George Olsen ..... George has collected all of hls ~sloal lade and 18 prepared to provide the dance ~/slc~ so letrs drop in on him first. ON WITH THE DANCE GEORGE OLSEN...(WHISTLE)..OKAy AMEHIOA~
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-2- GEORGE OLSEN : (TRAIN SIGNATURE) All aut~ floor whllc wc play -- (TITLES) ( .> ( ) ( 1 (. .) GEORGE OLSEN : All out on the dance ~llmb aboard the ~glc Carpet everybody - here we go; (WHISTLE) OKAy NEW YOgK! KOWAP~D CLANEY : George~ that was nice work -- you wln another open championship for dance tunes; Oh, by the way!....I'll bet a lot of you wlnter-bound golfers are mlghty interested In the open golf tournament thatls being held do~n at A~,la Callente, Mexico -- that's the g~y, 8~nny resort just over the Callforni~ border, you know, ..... They were ru~nlng off the second d~yI~ play this afternoon~ and yould see many ~ golfer or me~ber of the gallery pause in hi8 stroll ~long a falrw~y to light up a mild, delioious ci~-~rette -- sunshize and open air seem to go mighty well with the pleasure of & smooth, flavorful LUCKY. Because LUCKIES offer such ~ smOking enJoym~nto....a deliciousI 8mooCh and harmonious blend of fine tobaoCOSoo..alw&ys well-fill~d, full weight of fine, even-burning tobacco that is truly mild - mellow-mild -~ beoaus8 "ITeS TOASTED." (~R. CLANEY CONTINRES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-3- HOWARD OL~EY: (OON?ZNUES) Another f~ot about LUOKXEB -- haven't you no,iced how g~e~tl¥ ~he¥ are p~efe~red by women who dete~t ffr~er s~ain -- by wo~e~ who are f~atAdtc~8 ~ou~ ~heir hand~. And ~dded to thlB finep ~ellow-mlld to~ooo quallty~ you'll find ~b~ your cl~ret~e dealer 18 now of~eri~ you LUOKY STRIKE at two packages for twenty-five cent~ -- a 193S mt~nd~rd of Value in ~ldl flavorful LUCKY STRIKZ enjoyment| ~O~ARD CLA~¥: ~ow, l~eB and ~entlemen, st~udln~ ~ the ~n~B i~ the man Of ~h~ hour~ Jack Pe~l. ~nd with him fB O~ff Hall. The~e two ~ COS~UIO~B~ ~e &~feo~£O~tte~y known to the n~tllio~s of their r~dlo ~rl~nds. as the Baron ~unchau~en an~ ~a~le¥. Tonight ~he ~tron is ~oir~ ~0 reo~ll BO~ of hi~ ~tound~r~ experiences ~s ~n et~p~u~ hunter in t~e ~ll~B of ~he ~e~lble African ~un~le~. ~st hew many of ~h~se ~&t be~st~ the ~on h~ sho~j no one ~n sa~ely s~y°°..th~t is, no one ~u~ the ~on. BO w~ glw him to ~OU nOw~ (ACH ~ LIMBER AU~S~)
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-4- HOWARD OLANEY: Well, my fzlendst I hope you enjoyed yourselves~ listening to Jaok Pe~rl° HeIll come b~ck later %o oontinue his dlscussloz but meanwhile lefts give our ~ttentlon to George Olsen.... wetre o~ our w~y back~ George....te~ ~illlo~ st~or~ so ON WITH T~ DANCE~...(WHISTLE)...OKAY AMERICA! GEORGE OLSEN: This tlme we pl~y -- (TITLES) ) ) ( ) ( ) ( ) GEORGE OLBEN: The Magic Carpet speeds back to the Pilot. (WHISTLE) OEAY NEW YOP~K!
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~5- Boldly Nalter P. Chrysler cut away from aocepSed tradition in the automobile business, by offering a car of expensive design in a low-prlce class. Walter P. Chrysler began as a young mechanlc in a railraad machine shop,....He rose to become General Manager of The Amorloan Locomotive company, Pittsburgh -- and then, he deliberately left railroads to enter the automobile business. His t0ol-chesS, in whlch he keeps %he tools he first worked with on • ailroad engines, today has a prominent place in a special ~laes ease in the Chrysler Tower on the 71st floor of the Chrysler Building. Because Walter P. Chrysler has always broken away from accepted tradition in businessI we have just sent him this wire:-- MR, WALTER P. CHRYSLER C~IRYSLER BUILDING NEW YORK CITY SIR: YOU CAVE ~OTORIST8 A NEW STANDARD 0F VALUE AND gIBING CO~FORT WITH YOUR FLOATING POWER PLYMOUTH AND SO I KNOW YOU WILL BE INTEREETED IN ANY GREAT ADVANCE IN STANDARD 0Y VALUE IN CIGAR INDUSTRY....CERTIFIED CREMO BOLDLY CUTS AWAY FROM TRADITION THAT A FINE CIGAR RDST BE E~PENSIVE... ,THIS SPLENDID HIGH-QUALITY CIGAR IS NOW OFFERED TO SMOKERS AT FIVE CENTS STRAIGHT THREE FOR TEN CENTS ..... MILLIONS HAVE FOUND IN CERTIFIED CREES WORLD'S GREATEST CIGAR VALUE DELICIOUS LONG-FILLER LDAVES,.o.FINE EXPENSIVE TEXTURE AND I}~AOULATE CLEANLINESS OF TH~ ONLY CIGAR FINISHED DNDER GLAss....AS YOU HAVE PROVED A~EBICANS ALWAYS OROOeE THE PRODUGT THAT GIVES THEg MORE THAN ANY OTHER.,, .WITH VERY BEST WISHES° ... VINCENT RIGGI0 ~ VICE-PRESIDENT IN 0HARGE 0F SALES THE A~RICAE TOBACCO C0~ANY (MR. CSANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-6- HOWARD SIDNEY: (CONTINUES) That telegram, ladies and gentlemen, is right now on its way to Walter P. Ohrysler. The message we have just sent Mr. Chrysler is i.~ortant to every one of you olg~r smokers -- The news that the delicious, long-filler quality of Certified Oremo is now yours at five cents straight, three for ten cents. ............................. STATION BREAE ........................... FJDWARD CLANEY: Now back to the ds/uolng everybody - here's where the Magic Carpet picks you up and rushes you right over to George Olsen and his orchestra. ON WITH THE RAEOB GEORGE OLSEE...(WHISTLE),.OKAY AI~ERICA~ GEORGE 0LSEN: The dancing oontlnues with -- (TrTLES) ) ) ) ) ) GEORGE OLSEN: Carpet. BOWAPD CLANEY: Back to the man at the controls speeds the ~agio (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK! Thank you~ George...We'll Join you later, but now we present again the dlstlnguish~d guest of the ocsasion..~hat eloquent linguist and old elephant hunter...The Baron Munchaus~n. Ladies and gentlemen,.,.hls ExcellencF~ The ~aron! (SECOND PART - "THE ELEPHANT HUNT")
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-7- HOWARD OLANEY : Amid the l&ughter and appl~use, Jack Pearl steps out Of the spotl~ght. The BaTon is a regular visitor on these Thursday night progz~ms. Hetll be b~ck ~t the same time next weeko,..and now before we dance a~In, m~y we remind you that on Saturday night GladyB Pdoe and Robert Halllday mill bring us the hit songs from the muBioai comedy and operetta stage~...alBo on that night the d~noe muslc will be supplled by Vincent Lopez, playing from Chicago and Te~ Weems who will play from New York ..... but rlght now George Olsen and his Orohestra are re&dy and w&i~Ing to go, 80 letls be on our way~ ON WITH T~E DANCE GEORGE OLSEN,..(WHISTLE).,.OKAY AMERICA! GEORGE OLSEN: Everybody dance tO -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ( ) ) GEORGE OLSEN : Welre off on that short and speedy hopj, (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORE~
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-8- HOWARD CLANEY: That was fine to ~ance to Ceorge...and in between d~nces ..... Irm s~re a gre&t ~ny of you folks ~re lighting up a LUCKY....Did you ever notice that tiny, red, softly glowing tip? Thatls whcre ~ll your s~oklng pleasure comes from. And thatls wher~ LUCKY 8TRIXE differs from other o~rettes. For LU~I~f STRIKE is made not only to look rlght, but to burn right, TO a~compllsh th1~, we buy only the choicest, most fragrant of Turkish and domestic tobaccos. These we patiently and carefully blend by the only scientlflc blendin~ method known ~ by '~TOASTI~G.'~ ItJs toastlng that blends ~nd welds ~he rioh az'oma8 of these flne tobaccos until the zeeult is on~ full-bodled fragrant flavor -- that ~Ives to these tender~ s±lk~n LUOXY 8TRIXE tobaccos ~heir ~rue mellow-mii~less -- ~nd that frees th~ long, delicious shreds from f~st-b~rntng crude par~icle~. Light a LUCKY....Noticeho~ 1~ barns slowly, evenly from tip to tlp -- %hat it never drops ashes on your clothing....Therels a real service that millions of fastldlous smokers appreoi~te. ThatI~ service in~ ~ and your tobaoconist gives you the add~tlor~al servloe ~n value ~hen he off~r6 you two p~ck~ges of LUCKY STRIKE for t~enty-flve cents ~ a new de~l to s~okers everYWhere whose flne tastes de~nd the f~nest of olgar~ttes° ~PD ~LA~EY ~
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GEORGE OLSEN: And without further ado we play --(TITLES) ) ) ) ) .) GEORGE OLSEN: SIGNATURE) HOWARD CLANEY : All aboard, all aboazd~ our train is leavizg~ (TRAIN Now back goes the ~gio Oarpel. (wgIETLE) OKAY NEW YORK~ As the Olsen train chugs away into the night, this LUCKY BTRIKE Hour draws to a close. Donlt forget ~o join us again on gaturd~F ~±ght when GladFs Rice and Robert Halliday sing their romantic songs and we dance ~o the m~61o of Ted We~mB In ~ew York and Vincent L~E~ in Chicago. U~t~l Saturday then -- Goodnlght~ (~GSICAL EIGNATUR~) This is the National Broadcastln~ Comp~nyo AgRgCY/chtlleen 1112133
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.! "THE MODE~ BARON ~CHAUSEN'r FEATURING JACK PEARL EPISODE EIX "ELEPHANT HUNT" PARTS I AND II BY WILLIA~E. WELLS FOR LUSEY STRIKE ROUR JANUARY i~, 1953 J
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"TH~ ~)DERN BABON MUNCHAUSEN" EPISODE XIX "ELEPHANT RUNT" PA~TS I AND II EY WILLIAM K. WELL8 CHAPACTERS : THE BARON ........ . ............... . ............. JACK PEARL CHARLEy ..................... . .................. CLIFF HALL NOTE: ThiR property is duly protected by copyright and ~y not be used in any manner without the authority of the owner thereof. It is authorized for broadcast over National Broadcasting Co.@any, Ync. facilities only on the date first indloated herein. i
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CEAI~y : BARON : aHAPJ~EY: BAI~ON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : EPISODE XIX PART I Now Jus~ a moment~ Baron, I -- NO Sir~ I donlt care what you say. It's no use -- But youlre all exsltsd over nothing| P1ease~ ask you] Control yourself. You ~onrt have ~o ask me! It11 ask you one question and that's all. Very well - whatl8 the questlon? Was you thsrep Sharley? Was I where? Any placeJ NO! I was not! Th~'~ all I want to know! Then we san prooeed without any further controversy. ........... hello? I said~ then we can oon~inue our us~l argumentatlv8 oycle of conversatlon without interruption or disputationJ ......... WEIRE OFFI I see youlre ~II dressed up for huntlng~ BAron? 8ure -- (LAUGH) I don't try to fool anybody. Why are you dressed fo~ hu~ting? Because I'm nor golnE fishi~,
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CHARLEY: BARON CNARLEY: BA~DN: CHARLEy: BAgON; CHARLEY: BARON: CgABL~Y: BARON: 0NABLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CNARLEY: BARON: CHAP~EY: BARON : O~R~Y: Wh~t are you going hunting after? After ten. After ten what? After ten oIclock. I mean wh~t animal, beast~ denizen of th~ forest? .., ..... could you play that again? What mammal or blzd - zoological or ornithological speolmen a~e you going in pursuit of? We lze off twice| Coms, BAront tell meI wh~t are you hu1~tlng for~ Elephants. Elephant~ I suppose ¥ouTr~ ~ii equipped for the expsdition? Bur8 - I got my dlrector~ camera m~ ~/%d two pan~s preBse~So PantB p~es~rs? I mea~ Dress agents. What ~bo~i your guns? I don't need gun~ - mF wife is going with me. YO~ dont% need guns heo&use your wlfe is golr~ with you? YeB, when she shoots off hsr mouth svcn elephants drop. Have you 8v~r been on ~n elephant h~t before~ Baron? Have I? (LAUGH) One day, for th~ months I was on an elephant hunt for two y®ars. On~ day fo~ ~hree month~ you were on an elephant hunt for two y~a~s?
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BARON : CHARLEY! BARON : CF~NLEY : BARON : CHARLEy : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CBARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHAEI~Y: BARON : Yes - Thatls rather confusing, BAron. I hope so. ~y cousin ~go was with me. Your cousin H~go? Yes° IJve heard you speak quite a lot about this cousin Hugo - whatls his last name? Ee was .... hello? I said, wharfs his last name? (LAUGH) Ths one hels got. NO, no, BAron - hi~ surr~me. Oh - the back pazto Ye|. What is it? Katz~ Eatz? Yss -- I wish he would change it. WhF? Every time he sees me he yells, "I:m your sousln Bugo Katz! Hugo Katzl Eugo EatzZ Hugo Katz° NO - I go nu~s. I mean his name is Hugo K&tz. Y~S° Nhat doss he do for a llvimg? mean what is his vocation? The last two weeks in July.
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CHAP~Y: BARON : CHARLEy : BARON; CHARLEY : BARON ~ CHARLEY: BARON: CIHPLEY: RAW~0N : CHARLEY : BARON: OHARLEY : HARDN : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARIEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: -4-- Please ~derstand me~ Baronj how is he employed° HOW does he earn his dally bread? He donlt eat breadd He don't eat bread? Why not? .... NSlS a cake eater. Why are you ~a~ing him on your elephazt hu~t? Beoause he's a blg g~me hunter~ A big Name huunter? yes -- What big game does he hunt? Crab gamesI card games ~- Hold on, Baron -- what have or&p games and card g~me8 got to do with elephant hunting? (LAUGH) AS if I =are~ One day I said, "}9/go~ where I go, you gos hS/yo" and he s~id "Where you go, I go. SO HUgO and I now g0 wherever I go - So we go -- PleaseI Baron - if you donlt ~i~d~ let US drop your oo~sin HU~O, ([~UGH) I've been trying to do that for years. Letls Net b~ck to elephant hunti~4~ -- what do you say? Shirley, tonight I oould say anything -- I fell in the mud. YOU what? I -~~ are you deaf or just dumb? I heard what yo~ s~id~ Baron b~t llm 8~re yo~ ~re in error. You said you fell in the mud - where,8 I know you meant you fell in the mood. Was you there, Sharley? Was I where?
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BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARSEN : BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: C f£%RLEY : B~.RON : OH~ RLEY : BARON : OF~RLgY: BARON: ~5~ In the mud? No! I was notl Sn I f~ll in the mudl I see. You met Wlth an accident. Yes - an ox-ident. An acoldent. An ox-1 dent. The word is r~accldent." ..... who cares for words? T say It was an ox-ident. How dld it happen? I was walklng up a street and there In front of me was a Bud muddle. I was -- A mud puddle. • ....I said there in front of me was a Bud muddle - B/~d I was -- Pardon me, Baron but you have the ca~z before ~he horse. Sure. I ---did I say I was driving a wagon? NO, I mean you no doubt Intended to say "Mud puddle" whereas you said "Bud muddle" - you had it baokwards~ (LAUGH) That's the way i was walking. YOU were walking backwards? Yes - it was a one w~y street and I was walking the other way~ Baron! Words fail me. (LAUGH) Thank goodness for that! I was just going to cross the street when I was stopged by ~ silver. A silver? A gold~ a tln, a lead, a zinc --
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C~ARLEY : BARON : C~ARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEy ~ BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: C~I%RLEY : BARON: CHARLEy; BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHAROEY : BARON: CHAB/~Y : BARON: CBARLEY ~ -6- I wonder if you mean a coNNer? Thatls It~ A copper~ ~o do you think it w~s? I haventt the faintest idea. My cousin Hugo. My wordL My cousln~ Is he in again? (LAUGH) Try and kQep him out~ Has k~/go got anything on you, Baron? No -- but tonight I got three things on hlm, Tonight you have three things on him? Yes. What? ~y coat, vest and pants! Anyhow I tripped and fell in the mud. I didn't know where I was. YOU didn't know where you were? No - I was all muddled up. There in front of me was eight hundred elephants! What did I do? I -- Whoa! Baron~ Please~ What happens d? That's what I~d like to know! YOU were telling me about crossing a street, and falling Into a mud puddle and suddenly 7ou say in front of you were elght hundred elephants, I'll take that hack, Sharleyo Ilm glad to hear ~t. There was nlnc hundredZ Nine hundred~ Yes sir. Why Baron thatls Ineoncslvahle2
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BAF~N I C ~.AP~LEY: BARDN: CHAP~EY: BAI~ON: CHARLEy: BARON : OHARLEy : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : 0 HAFdSEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHA~EY: BARON : CSAP~LEY: BARON : OHAP~EY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON ; -?- i, ....... Could -ou come back? I says that's inconceivable! No - it was in Africa, How in the world did you get to Africa? Did you take ms? NO: So what do you care? ~±ere was the elephsmts and there was mei I looked for my gun and couldnlt find it, YOU looked for your gun and couldnlt find it? No slr - So I picked it up and I -- Walt: You Just said you looked for your gun and eouldn:t find i% and then you say you picked i% up, Sure -- I just found it. I give up. Not me~ I jam~sd a shell into the keg, The keg? The hogshead, The what? Wait~ This hime I find the word myself. Let me see -- what did f ~a±d? YOU said ~0u jammed a shell Into the keg, the hogshead- (LAUGH) I got i~ What? The barrel~ Oh, the barrel of th~ gun. Yes -- I pulled the trigger and killed the whole bunch. You killed nine hundre~ elephants with one shot? Would you like me to make it more?
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CHARLEY: BARON~ OHAF~LEy: BARDN: CHAHLEy : BAPON~ C~L~RLEY ~ BA~ON : CHARLEY : BARON : ~RON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY,, BARON 0HARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : _8~ I should say not: So keep quict~ Did I ever tell you about the tlme I got dixteen elephants with a rope? NO~ and if you t~ll me I won't b~lieve it~ Would you believe i got fourteen alligators wlth a oa~ openGr. No, Fifteen chim-pa~-zigg-zaggers with a soup spoon? No, So I got zixteen eJephants with a rope. All right, you got sixteen elephants with a rope~ Now, tell me, how did you get them? One time I caught eighty flve hlppc~bottom-busters with a fountain pen and I -- Hold onl Baronl Yo~ s~ill haven't explained how FO~ got the elephants? I wa~ ..... what elephants? The sixteen elephants you caught with a rope~ How dld you get them? Where will you be Tuesday? T~esday? I ,~o~I~ !~c~ Why? Because I ii h~v~ to look it up. Frankly, Baron. I donlt believe ¥o~ ever caught or shot an elephant. Is that so? Well here is a picture of my wife standing beside ~n elephant I ~hot. A very good picture. Yes - ~y wlfe is the one standing up. Your wlfe Is the one standing up? Yes - I missed her.
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARIE7 : BARON; CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0 H)_RLEY : BARON : CHAR~Ey: BARON: OHAB~EY : BARON~ OHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: -B- How did you get the elephant, Baron? I was w~l~in~ down The ~treet 8nd she fllrted with me° The eZepha~t ~r~i:~ ~t~ you? I wasn~ r~r~!u~ to your wlfo - I was refe~ring to the elep~au~, How did ~ou get him? Nell~ I wa8 hu~tin~ T~edos. YOU were hun~r~ ~r Ta~edo~ Dinner sui~8~ Oh~ dino~o1~rs ~ ~he s~b~ol&B~ o~ oxtlnct reptile. (LAUGE) 8~ca e~c~t~n, I vras hunting Bor dlnnor But th~ &~e ~o mo~e Dinoso~rs~ B~ro~I Sure not~ I killed them all~ B~t they only existed ~hou@a~d@ of years &go~ Don~t tell me[ itls true~ Baron~ And it only seemB lik~ yesterday. We~l e~r - I was hu~ting ~or those -- w~h&t w~ 8poke &bout -- when I ~ame to ~ b~u~i~Z house~ &ma~Iflo~nt house. A~ eleg&~t hoa~e~ NO - a~ ele~h~ ~ -~ of Co~rse ~t first I dld~I~ k~ow it w~s &n elephant house, HOW dld you f~nd out? There w~@ 8om~ trunks on the poroh. I r~g th~ bell ~nd E~l~ e&me to the door - 8o I 8~id -- Ella? Ella ~h~ Ell~ Phaa%t° S~ I s&i~ exouse ~e mis~ but 18 your popper in?
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OI~RLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEy: BABDN CHARLEY; BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BA~ON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON ; -10- An elephant came to the door and you spoke to her? Sure ~- If you t]J~ Till bc!i~ve that I hope to die. (LAUCH) ~su!~< d~u b~ you:re too lazy to l~y down, So I 8ald 'Ils pop in?" and before she could answer out came lolly. Lolly who? LOIIy POp! SO I took him to a speak easy and I -- You took him to a speakeasy? Ridioulous~ I never heard of ~ speakeasy in Africa. llm surprised on yo~ Everybody has heard of "Afrloa Speaks." What happened then? He got half shot. He got half shot? Yes -- end then I got him outside and gave him the other half - but just before he passed out he charged me, He charged you? Forty dollars -- Charged you forty dollars for what? Because he ran to cover. Because he ran to cover? Yes -- that was the cover charge -- so I Jumped on his hack. YOU Jumped on his hack, ,o,, .... ,upstalrs. Was he equipped with a howdah? ......... who did what?
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CP~ARLEY ~ BARON CHARLEY: BAEON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CB/HLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: -Ii- I said was the elephant equipped with a howdah; a covered pavilllon - a partially enclosed perch, where one can nestle, sojourn or tenant comfortably at the highest point. (LAUGH) Please, Sharley! This was an elephant - ~0~ a penthouse, W~S it a 8e~t on the elephants back? YES~ and that's why I Jumped off. WhM did you jump off? Because -- I never take a hack 8eat~ Did you g~t down off the elephant? ...... did you drop something? I said, did you get ~9~ from the elephant? (LAUGH) Shame on you: Wh~t do you msan~ shame on me? YOU donlt get down off an elephant. You dOnlt! Never| You got down from K goose~ Oh, Baron! Oh, ~h~rley! (END OF PART I)
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CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BA~$N: CBaRLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: "T~ k~DERN BARON ML~OHAUSEN" EPISODE XIX "ELEPHANT HUNT" PART II You say you lntended to go fishing instead of hunting, Baron? That was the duplicato of my oonvorsation~ Sharley. ~ell, what made you change your mind? I didn't have ~ho argument. YOU dldn~t have the what? o....~some time I must mcct you without ~ ~ppolntment, All joking aside, Baron -- ~ust what do you mean by saying -- you decided not to go fishing because you didn't h~ve the argument? Because I di~hnlt have the ~gume~i~ the reci~&~ion, The recitation? Lect~r~, speech -- Is it possible you mean debate? That's it| I d~dnlt have dehate: Oh, the halt| The necessary adductlve lure most Important to deoo¥ and charm members of th~ ~qu~tlc famlly into capture... weTre going ~omepl~ce ~galn| SO in view of ~he fact tha~ you did not have the ~ustomary angling oontrlvances, devloes and contraptions req~lred to ~ntlce 8~id memhsrs of pis~&tory to you hook you deoid~d to be ~ ~imrod.
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BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CKARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BAF~N : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : OHAHAEY : -13- (LAUGH) I wish I l~s a judge. Why do you wish you were a judge, Baron? Bo I could give you a longer ~entence than you give me. Tell m@, B~on, Just h@w muoh expe~ienoe have you had hunting elsphants~ Well to he truthful -- (LAUGH) What's the matter, B~ron? Something stuck in my thr~at, 8omethlng stuok in your throat? ~es -- I ~s s&yir~g s~me words and one of them stalled¸ on the way down. I was saying to be -- what was Z saying? Yo~ were sayin~ "to be truthf~l" I believe. You bslieve that? Yes. (LAUGH) Happy new year. Once I was hunting el~phants when I came to a T~vcr. You Ca~@ t~ a ~!fer. Yes ~- this rlTer w~ sixty miles deep. 81xty miles deep? Yss Bir~ TBAtlS som~ ri~sr~ old man. You're talking to him. Talking to who? Old man rlverJ Youlre ~ll of puns tonight, Baron. ........ could I come baok? I s~Idp youJre full pf p~ns.
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BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BA~ON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON : OMARLE¥ : BA~ON : CBARLEy : B~RON: CBARLEY : B~ RON: CFARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : -14- (LAUGH) Knd coffee| What abo~t this deep, deep river. It was sixty miles deep. You ~old me that twice. So it w~s a h~dred and twen~F miles deep - %here on the bottom I saw laying a crooldile| Just a moment, }~ron~ If the rlvez was that deep how could you see the crocodils? It was low tide, There he was taking a sun bath. The c~ocodile was baking in the sun. He was -- I beg your pleasure? I said the orocodlle ~as baking ~n the sun. (LAUGH) This was a orooodile not a cookZ I tried ~o pass hl~ by but I couldnlt. Why not? 8ome day Itll find out. Wi~h me I had flf~een hundred mus%ash slapp~rs, Fifteen hundred m~stash slappers, Whiskers hitters,flg beard punoherso Bush beater~? That's It! Bush beaters! You know, Sharley~ you got to have good ones - otherwise you waste time, How do you waste t~m~? Beating about the bush. Anyhow we got on the other side of the ~Ivez and there in the jungles I saw the railroad of an elephant. Wh~t in the name of cow,non sense ~8 the railroad of an el~phant? Th~ ~raoks -- I followed the tr~oks for eight years, For how long?
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BARON : CHARLEY: BAPDN : CHARLEY : BARON:: CHARLEY : BAR~N: CHARLEy: BA~ON : CHARLEY: HARDN : 0HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON" CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY : -15- A few hours -- and I came up to him -- but just as I ~s going to shoot him spots ca~e before my eyes. A dizzy spell, go - a leopard, A leopard, Y~S ~- What did you do? I took a club and knocked the spots out of him. Good for you. Sad for him. What about the elephant? He w~it ed. He waited until you got through w~th the leopard? Sure - he h~d no place to go. And then I suvpose you dlspo~d of him. .. ....... what came in7 I said I supoose you then disposed cf the elephant, you put him hors de combat? No - I killed hiM. How big was he? Just a small one -- A small one. About ninety six tons. Itm sorry~ Baron, but I cantt go for a ~inety six ton elephant. You do~rt have to go for him - he comes to you. What other~%In~is did you come in contact with? Cuff buttons. Cuff buttons.
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BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CBARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY: BARON : CHAF~EY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: K&RON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: -16- I mean lynx. Also bdb~keepe2 shakes& Bookkeeper snakes~ Burs -- adders. And once I went after lions, You went after lions? Yes - but I d~du't get one~ NO llon? No lien, For ~ change, Ye -- please~ The Baron makes the wise snappers~ It mush be nice to stroll through the jungle. Sure - ms and my ~ous~n F~O dad thls every day. You took a tramp through the jungle? Please! Donlt insult mY cousin. You mlsunde~stood me, BAron. I dldnlt mean to insult you~ cousin Hugo. (LAUGH) You eculda't. Well, B~ro~ ~e m~/oh ~B I h~t~ to, I have to leave yo~. Well, Sharley, as ~ch ~s you hate to - I'm glad you h~ve %oo. Just one more qale6tlon and fill be off -- Without the question -- you are! Please, Baron! R~ yourself. Sharley~ if I was to really ever be mysslf you and me would st~rvs| ~cre you ever really ¥ouree~f~ Baron. Yes ~i~. Last night~ Last night? Just before ~his mornlng~ I was walking by myself along Broadway and I met two fellers.
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11 CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BAF~0N CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY : BARON : 0HARLEY : BARON: CHARY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BANON : -17- You were walking along Broadway by yourself ~nd you met two fellows? Yes - azd one of them w~s me. And one of them w~s -- no hold o~ B~ron~ ThKt is th~ llmlt~ You couldn't be walklng ~iong by yourself ~nd m~et yourself~ Wasyou there7 Shirley? At what time? .............. W~duesday~ Yes~ .... and 80 Was my whol~ f~mily. I1m pleased to meet them. Tell me~ Baron did you ever shoot a j&gu~r? ............. is somebody slok? I s~id, did you ever shoo~ a Jaguar? A yagso - w~s? A jaguar. Wag yow jow ~- NO~ no~ A jaguKr~ Did you ever shoot It~ Shoot it~ (L~UGH) I can't even s~y it~ Oh, Baron~ Oh, Sharley! (~I~ OF PART II) WILLIAM K. WESLS/chilleen ~/n/ss
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the worlds |inest Dance Orchestras and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TUESDAY • THUI~SDAY J " T'rTr'~'D'T'C'O SATURDAY 10 to ll P.M. "~ d/ J.~ tJ ~,.[~. A.~, h.~ WEAFandAS,~OCIATED .~ ~ ~ have CHARACTER,, SATURDAYI JANUAKY 14, 1933 ( ~USICAL SIGNATUre) HOWARD CLANEY: Ladies and gentlemon~ the LUCKY STRIKE Hour presented for your pleasure by the ~nufKctu~ers of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes - sixty modern minu~ss w~th the worldrs finest 4~nce orchestzas~ and th~ famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills ...... ToniEht the Magic Carpet will tKke US into the l&nd of romance with GlKdys Rice and Robert H&lliday, OUr singers of romantic songs. ..... Alsop from New York weill d~nce to the nn/sle of Tsd Weems and his Orchestra ~nd Vincent Loper will Join the festivities from 0hicKso. Let's visit the windy sit7 first, Vincent and his boys from the Cengr~ss Rozel are waiting for us..:... out where the West begins so -- ON WITH THE DANCE VINCENT LOPEZ..(WHISTLE)..OKAY CHICAGO!
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-2- VINCENT LOPEZ: Hello~ everybodyj Lopez spe~kin~. the dancing with -- (TITLES) .) .) ) ) ) VINCENT LOPEZ : The i~gic Calq0et flashes back fzo~ the shores of HOWARD OLANEY : Fines Vincent. North~ easf~ south~ west, folks enjoyed dancing to those tune~. Down in thc Southl~md th~yIro pr~tt~r careful oonnolsse~rs of tobacco ~ they know what ~k~s & cigarette re&fly enjoyable. In all ~he s~art resorts of Dixi~ you'll find that LUCKY 8TRIK~ is the ci~arci~te~ for down thore the~ know fine tobaccos. They know that none b1~ the finest of ~e~der~ fr~gran% leaves are chosen for LUCKY ~TRIKZ ..... thc~~ know that ~hose rich, deliclo~s tobaccos &re blended with the choleest Turkish leaves by the only real blcndlng method known -- by the famou~ r'TOASTING" Process which ~elds those fln~ tobaccos into a dclioiaus~ truly mild, well-filled cigarette. And ~specially~ folks who ~re fastidious ~bout their h~nds and d~test fln~er~stain, are careful to choose LUgKIES only. Really, ladies and gantlemon, LUCKY STRIKE gives you so ~ch enjoyment ~ so much real s~okin~ pleasure. And now~ at tho new low prfce your dealer offers7 thcre~s really remarkable smoklng v~111~ iii~Iti~ for yoll -~ %n~nt~five ce~s brln~s yo~ tl"ro p~cka~s Tonight we start Lake giohigan to the Atlantic Oce~n, (WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YOBE~
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(FOUR BARS OF "ROMANOE" UP FULL -- FADING DOWN FOR BACNGRS~D:) HOWARD 0LANEY : Welre entering the ~glc C&rpet The&tre as the strains of "Romance" s~g~l the a~p~ar~nc~ of Gladyg Rice and Robert Halliday. Their first song is "THE WALTZ DUET" from the W~ltz Dream by Ztra~Be, Perhaps you r~mo~er that ~ellghtful show... it was first produced in 1SOB° Th~n the scene changes to the setting from Ir~ew ~oon" whirs the d~ck of a privat~ ship and the ~lue of the op~ sea form the baokgrou~d..,.as ~iss Nice sings IfLOVER CO~E BAOK TO NE°I' For th~ %hlrd song ~r° Halliday has chosen "ROSE L~ARIE" f~om ~he g~eat Fri~ operetta of %he same n~me. SO there goes the curtain ~nd th~ spotlight fall~ on Gladys Rice and RDbert ~lllch%y. (~ISS RICE AND ~R. FALLIDAY SING: HOWARD GLANEY: "THR WALTZ DUET" I'LOVNR COI~E BACK TO ME'r ~' PDSE ~RIS" ) Our romantic young couple Gladys Rice and Robert Halliday~ leave us to return a little later in this LUCKY STRII~E HOUR....and now it wozlt take long to mak~ the next hop. ~err~ flashing to Ted Wee~s and his orchestra from the Hotel Pennsylvania. ON WITH THE DANCE TED WEE~S...,(WHISTLE)..°OKAy A~ERISA|
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~4~ TED WEE~S: Rood evenlngI i~dle~ and Sentl~e~. Wee~s greeting you flrst wlth -- (TITLES) ( ) C. .) C / C. .1 C ) TED WEEMS: This Is Ted We snap the N~glc Carpet b~ck to the Pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAY NSW YORK~ HOWARD CLANEY: The Clear vi~o~ the s~re judgment ~nd masterf~l Organizing ~billty of Cl~renoe H. ~aok~y have glvsz Amcrlo~ one of the woridIB ~reat~st communioatlon syBtem~ -- th~ huge Pogtal Teiegraph-Sabl~ Company and its ~Sfiliat~d organizatlon~ in the Intern~tlon~l Syste~...& llvlngj growing trlbut~ to ths busln~ss g~nlus o~ this a~f~ble~ pLs~s~n~ a~d unass~dng m~n who is loved by ~very empl~yee~ who keeps ~ finger On ~ve~y vlt~L p~Ls~ of the vast network of Postal Telegraph ~y~emo (MR. CLANEY ~ONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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HOWARD O~ANEY: (00NTYW~S) Because hE IS one of America's great business leaders, we have just sent this Postal Telegraph wire direct to the home of Clarence E. Mackay: 3 EAST 7STH STREET N~ ¥OP~ CITY SIR: YOUR GREAT ORGANIZING ABILITY HAS PROVIDED EVERY A.qERICAM WITH SWIFT SURE SOEMUNICATION SERVICE AT I~[0DEBT COST -- AND POSTAL TELEGRAPH SERVICE HAS BEEN PARTIOULARLY VALUABLE TO US SINCE RECENT ANNOUNOEMENT OF N~W LOW PRICE ON CERTIFIED CREI~CS J~S ~I'['USNT FLOOD OF TELEGRAPHED ORDERS FROM DEALENB ALL OVER COUNTRY,...WE TO0 STRIVF TO GIVE UTLi0ST IN SERVICE AND QUALITY BY OFFERING A REALLY FINE CIGAR AT PRICE WITHIN REACH OF ALL ..... CERTIFIED CREMO AT FIVE CENTS STRAIGHT TEE FOR TEN CENTS IB HOW AVAILABLE AT EVERY CIGAR COUNTER IN A~IERICA AND MILLIONS ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF OPPORTUNITY TO OBTAIN FINE CLEAN LONG-FILLER CIGAR AT N~V PRICE....WITH THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE WHICH HAS ENABLED US TO SUPPLY EVERY DEALER AND WAPJ4EST PERSONAL REGARDS... (SIGNED) VINCENT RIGGIO VICE PRESIDenT IN CHARGE OF SALES T}~ A~ERICAN TOBASC0 SOl,PANT Ladies and gentlemenl that wire has Just been sent by Postal Telegraph direct to Clarence H. Mackay. The news contained in that telegram is important to ~ who enjoys a fine cigar: Certified Crsmo with its delicious long-filler quality is now offered at fiv~ cents straight, three for ten cents. ............................ STATION BREAK ..........................
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HOWARD CLANEY : -6- Now letrs ride the sky....The Z~ic Ca<cot is hurling us westward again...far be~ow the li~hts of the cities ~re flashing by. Wetre bound for Chloago and Vincent Loper so -~ 0N ~ITH T}~ DANCE VINCENT...(WHICTLE)...0EAY CHICAGO~ VINCENT LOPEZ: And this time, from 0hioago, we play -- (TITLES) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) VINCENT LOPEZ: The ~aglc Carpet shoots out of Chicago and speeds back to the Pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK~ H0~ARD CSANEY : (FOUR BARS OF "R0~ANCE' UP FULL,FADING DOWN FOR BACKG~0UND) The stage is set for romance. In the center of the Magic Carpet stand Gladys Rice and Robert Halli~ay, who bring to these Saturday night programs the hit songs from musical comedy ann operetta. From "Princess Pat" they sing one of the outstanding songs of a score that has lived down through the years, "ALL FOR YOU." Just a few seasons ago "Spring is Hererf was produoed on Broadway. 5iss Rice and Mro Halliday sing a number from that show which every one will remember - ~WITH A 80NG IN L~Y HEART.l~ Then we borrow again from Victor Herbert - this tlmo from ".Wose of Algiers" and the song is "ROSE OF TH~ WORLD". So shut your eyes, sit back, and take a trip into the land of rr~he~belisve, ms wc bring Fou the voices of Gladys Rice and Robert Nelllday. (~I88 RICE AND ~R. EALLIDAY SING --'tALL FOR YOU" WITH A SOnG IN L~ HEARTr~ "ROSE OF THE Ar0RLD")
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-7- Thank you. Miss Rice - thank you, Mr. Halllda[. ~hils youlre reaching for a oig~rette~ folkst did you eve~ notioe this? ..... Nhen you light a LNCI'Y~ thereto only a quarter of an Inch at a tim~ that is Important....&nd th&tls the softly glowing tlp -- the burning end....for that is the real Pleasure Zone. It Is in that red, glowlnE zone that your enjoyment centers during tho~e ten minutes or so of smoking pleasure with a LUCKY. And it is right therew ladies and gentlemenI in that glo'Ning "pleasure zoneII that LUCKY STP~IKE is reve&led as so nuch different from other Oig~zettes. For LUCKIES are ~d~ not r~er~i? ~o look right - but to bur~ right. Prom that small pleasure zone y~<~ draw in the bmooth. fragrant s~oke of thc finest of Tur~ish ~%~ domestic tobaccos ........ tobaccos sealed Into & perfect~ harmonized olend by Zhe only really scientific blending process -- by "TOASTING." It is this exclusive LUCKY STRIKE process that Mires to those fine tobaccos thelr dellclo~sI mellow mil~%ess~ and that slow~ flrm~ cver-hurnlng ~sh which never drops sparks on dainty gowns. And in t~syear of 19S3 Itls surely good news to you that your tobacconist is offering you two packs of LNCKIES for Z5 ce~ts .... an extra increase Of value in the mildest~ most enjoyable of olgarettes ~- LUCKY STRIKE. And now bac~ agaln...where melody awaits us....to Ted Needs and his versatile boys.....So letls not del~y. ON WITH THE DANCE TED WEE~,{S....(NHISTLE)....OKAY AMERICA~
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TED WEEMS: TED WEEL~: The dancing continues with -- (TITLES) Cli~nb aboard ~he ~&glc C&rpez everybody, (WHIgTLE) OKAY I[RW Y0~! HOWARD CLANEY: And thaz, ladies ~nd gentlemen, brings another LUCI'Y STRIKE Hour to a close. Please rememoer on ~csday night weIll ~re~ent a dr~iz&tlon of ano%her &cruel c&se ~rom ~he ~eder~l Riles in Washln~ton, D.C. this ease is c~lled I'T~ DOPE S~U~GLER'~ and is ~aken from the filo~ of the United States ~re&u of ~arsotics. Also on ~hat ni~h~ werll danoe ~o the ~slc of Anson ~eeks° Until ~esd~y then - ~oodni~ht! ( :JUSICAL SI@!:A T~ ) This ~rogram aas comae to you from New Yo~k 01ty and Chicago, Illinoisi through %as facilizles of the N~%ion~l Bro&dcas~Ing Company.
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchesh'~ and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills 'I'iFESDKY • THURSDAY l "TTTt"~VT'I~t~ SATURDAY 10 to 11 P.M. ~. ~ ~// ~L' U ~"~"L r'O WE~,md&SSOCIATED _~ ~ ~_ have CHARACTER TUESDAy, JANUARY 17, 1933 (MUSICAL SIGNATURE) HOWARD 0LANZY : Ladies and gcntlemen, th~ LUEKY STRIKE Hour p~escnted for your pleasure by the ~nuf~cturer6 of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes - sixty ~od~rn minutes wlth %he worldls finest dmnce orches%r~e~ and %he famous LUCKY 8TRINE thr211s ...... Tonlght in the l~ag2c Carpet Theatre we bring you a thrilllnE dr~matiz~t2on of "THE DRUG SMUGGLER'~ -- a real caee taken from ~hc files of the United S~at~s Bureau of N~rcot~cs ~t Washington, D.C.~ but before the stage is seti ~e~ll dance to the music of Anson Weeks and his 0rohcstra from tho S~a Nl~d~s of the Hotel 9t, Regis. Her~ we ~o -- so enjoy yourselves, ON WITH T~ DAN~E ANSON WF~Ng... ,(NHISTLE~,..OKAY A~ERICA~ ..... r ......
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-2- ANSON WEEKS: Good evening, every one -- this Is Anson Weeks invltlng you to dance to -~ (TITLES) ./ ) .) ) .) ANSON WEEKS; HOWARD CLANEY: We flash the ~%gic Oarpet b~ck to the Pilot. (%VHISTLE) OF.AY NEW, YOP~: Women who are careful in their choice of ~ smart, fashionable gown are caref~l~ too, not to choose just ~ cigarette~ you'll find LUCEY STRIXE Cigarettes tucked in so many dainty evenln~ bags~ or in the Dockets of costly evening wraps, because women have found that LUCKIES not only glvo them a finer, smoother taste...a ~ilder and more d~lisious clg~re~te....b~t they have no%iced that LUCKIE8 burn slowl¥ ~nd evenly - that LUCKIES resist the tendency to flake ~nd drop ashes~ Therens a ~ood reason for this. LUCKIE8 are always well~filled -~ full ~eight -- with long shreds of smooth~ tender tohaecos, and, as you can q~Ickly find o~t by zunnlngyour fin~er along the 8moo%h3 even surface Of the paper, LUCXIES are free fzom stems and chunks that causo uneven burning and flaking ash that falls on dainty gowns. (~R° CLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-3- HOWARD CLANEY: (CONTINUES) 80 l~ave it to a woman to discover the extra qualities of LUOKY STRIKE'S even burningT sr~ooth blended tobacco! .... Extra qualities, my frlends, brought about because LUCKY STRIE~ gives you none bat the flnest of choloe, s11ky Turkish and domestic tobaccos - tobaccos welded Into a delicious, mellow-mild blend because "ITtS TOASTED~" And now, you can obtain two packages for twenty-flve cents~ of this even-burnln~, ~ mild cigarette - LUCKY STRIKE -- a superlative quality -- a supreme value| Now Its curtain time in the 3~gIc Carpet Theatre, and the flrst act of "THE DRUG S~UGGLE~L is about to unfold. This case w~s taken from the file8 Of the United States Bureau of Narcotics at Washlngton, D°C° Special Agent ~ve i6 listening for orders and InstluActtons from headquarters are fla6hlng through the (WHISTLE> ON WITH THE SHOW~ (FIRST PART -- "TRS DRUG S~"JGGLEH")
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-4- SO,ASS OLA~EY~ There you have the first act! Popenik~ allow Terzo to escape with his ills? outcome of this, later in tonlght~s prograz. Will the snr/gyler, We'll learn the Right now~ however~ we're on o~r way to Anson Wseks who is w~Itlng ~o dance ~s over the alr Waves with the n~slc that made him one of Califo~nlats favozlte sons and now the f~ir-halred boy of New York Doolety, ON WITH T~ DANCING' ANDON..,(WHISTLE) OKAy AMERICAS ANSON WEEKS: we play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) ANSON WEEKS: Carpet. As the ~glc Carpet settles down on the dance floor~ Back to the n~an at the controls dashes the }Jaglc (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YO~K!
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-5- HOWA~L90LANEY : Every brakeman~ engineer, train dispatcher, freiEht loader~ slgr~l m~n~ pasBonge~ &gentj oonductor ~ in short, every man whose dsvotlon $o ~tF m~kes the r~llro&d syBtem of America the grea%est in the world, will be Interested In th~ telegram which we h~vs jus~ dlsp~ohed to General W° W, At~erburys PreBident of the Pena~Flvanla Rail~oad° Transpor~atlon~ efflclency, movement in fast rotatlon -- what man in Americ~ re~lizeB reductlon in cost made possible b~ large productlon more than General Atterbu~y? I am privileged ~o ~sad ~he ~eleg~am to yOU:- GENN2AL W. W. ATTERBURY PRESIDENT, PENNBYLFANLE BAILROAD, BROAD STREET STATION¸B~ILDING PHILADELPHIA, PA. SIR: YOUR RAILF~AD CAREEN ~ORE PAN~ENGER~...HAULS ~ORE FREIGHT .... THAN ANY O~EER IN AMERICA. o..CONSEQUENTLY NO ONE KNOWS ~ORE THAN YOU WHAT VOLU~E OF BUSINESS MEANS IN IMPROVING TRE QUALITY OF ~ERVICE WRECH A~ INDUSTRY OAN OFFER....YOU CAN WELL UNDERSTAND ROW OREMOS ENORMOUS HALES ENABLE US TO GIVE UNIFOP~ NIGH ~UALITY IN THIS REALLY FINE REGAR FINISHED ~NDER GLASB AND TO OFFER IT AT TRE UNIQO'E PRICE OF FIVE CE~TS STHAIGHT THeE FOR TEN CENT~....~ELLIONS OF THAVELE~ ARE TAXING ADVANTAGE OF THE PENNSYLVA~IAIS EEOELLENT TRAIN SERVICE AND ~ILLION~ OF SMOKERB ARE ENJOYING CREMON NINE QUALITY .... DEMONSTRATING THAT QUALITY AND SERVICE ~RE ALWAYS APPRE~IAT~BY THE PUBLIC....COREIAL~¥ YOURS VINOENT PJ GGIO VIOE-NRESIDENT IN CHARGE OF 8ALEg TRE A~RICAN TONACNO O0~PANY (MR. CLANE¥ OONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-8- HOWARD CLANEY: (SONTLNLNES) That teleNram~ ladies and gentlemenj has just now been sent to Gener&l ~. W. Atte~buryj Nr~slde~t of th~ Pennsylvania R~ilroad. May I remind you again~ fellow-ci~&r smokers -- you c~n now obtain a flne~ high quallty oigaz a~ modest oost ~- S~rtified arums at five c~nts str~igh~ ~hre~ for ten cents, ............... STATION BREAK ............. HOWARD CLANEY : WeIll 8t~t the 8eoond act o~ our d2~r~ in & moment or twoj but while you stroll ~o~ to your se~t~ i~ the l~gic Carpet Theatre~ the rr~uslc for the ~ntre ~ct~ wI~l be furnished yo~ by Ansan Weeks ~nd his talented l~ds fro~ the Hotel St. R~gis, Letls be on our way~ ON WITH THE DANCE ANSON WEENS...(WN~STLE) OKAY AMERICA~ ANSON WEEKS: This time w~ play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) > )
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-7- ANSON WEEKS : The Maglo Carpet is on its way.T (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK~ HOWARD OLANEY : Now if everybody is settled comfortably, wet11 begin the final act of "THE DRUG S~UGGLER" ..... an ~ctual case from the files oN the United States Bureau of Narootic~. You remember In the first ao~ how Terzo, ~he Federal under-cover iron, tri~d to gain the oonfldenoe of the dope sn~/ggler Popenlk, and ~ow he ~naged to take the toy ooldler from the smuggler. Th&t ingenious little toy contained powdered morphine, and Terzo was just telephoniug his dls¢overy to Earcotic Agent OIConnell when he was confronted by Popenlk. Now thB second act Is about to begin ...... Special Agent Five is listonln~ for orders from headquarters. (WHISTLE) ON WITH T}~ SHOW~ (SECOND PART -- "THE DRUG S~UGGLER")
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-S- HOWARD OLANEY: There you have the complcte story...The Fcderal Agcnts rlsked their lives to ~ecure the ±ncrimln~t~n~ evidence ~g~inst Popenik,..,b~t they got It~ and he and his thnscrupulous crew wound up behind the b~xs, Next Tuesday night ~eIll present ~ dram~tizatlon af case fro~ the files of the United States Bureau of Investi~tion, Dep~rtme~t of J~stlc0, b~t no~ itTs t~me for ~nother dance~....Anson Weeks and his boys are re~dy and w~Iti~g so letls give them their Og ~',~TH THE DANSE ANSON WEEKS,.. .(WHISTLE) OKAy A~ERICA~ ASSON WEEKS: The d~ncing continues with -- (TITLES) ) 9 ) ANSON WEEKS: Here goes the Magic Carpet. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YOHE5
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HOWARD CLANEYi Just examine for a moment that LUCKY STRIKE cigarette of yours -- not as a cigarette~ but as a miniature ~toreho~ss of many~ many kinds of fine tobaccos. In this llttls storehouse of tobacco goodness you111 find longi evenly out shrsds~ flrmlF paohed~ smoothly rolled.....full weight of fine, tender, silky leaves, never any heavy partlclss or large~ bulky pleoes. Tha_.__~t, ladies and gentleme~ is why LUCKIES al~ays buru so evenly... ,.why theylre chosen by people who dislike cigarettes that drop ashes on clothes or fine rugs. LUCKY STRIKE gives a smoothly flavorful, perfect blend of flnei fragrs.nt leavss*...Blended, my friends, in the modsrn~ scientific way to achieve a really harmonized blend -- by th~% "TOASTING" Process which welds these fine tobaccos together, and m~kes every long, delicious shred in your LUCKY a true fellow with every other shred~ It is "TOASTING*' that gives you in every LUOKY STRIKE cigarette real mildness y- mellow-mildness, And your dealer now offers LUCKY STRIKE at two packages for twenty-flve cents -- ~ new and greater value in smokin~ pleasure| Before we dance again, may I remind you t~t on Thursdny night, Jack Pearl, radicTs hilarious clowni will again don the guise af the Baron Hunch~usen. On that same night Abe Lymph will provide the music.~.~And speaking of music~ Arisen Weeks and his Hotel St. Regis Orchestra have another load of melody..~.~se get ready Amerlca~ we're going places -- 0g WITH THE DANCINi ANSON. ; .(WHISTLE). ;.OKAy A3iERICA{
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AN80N WEEKS: • -- ~ • - ~ 8verYbody dance to -- (TITLES) ( ) ( ) AN80~ WEEKS: HOWARD CLANEY: We take that short and speedy hop tack to the Pllot. (W~ISTLE) OKAy N~W YOKK~ And that, la6ies and gentlemen~ concludes another LUCKY STRIKE Hour.,,..Join us On Thursd~F night for Jack Pearl, the Baron ~Junchau~en....,and Abe Lymph and hls 0rch~s~ra, Until Thursday then -- goodnlght] (MUSICAL SXGNAT~) This is the National Broadcasting Company. AGENCY/chIIIeen 1117/33 .
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EPISODE XI I'T~ DRUG SMUGGLER" PARTS I AND II FOR LUCKY STRIXE HOUR JANUARY ~ 19~ /7
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8U-174-XI SPECIAL kGENT FIVE EPISODE XI "TH~ DRUG SEUGGLER" PANTS I AND II OFFICIAL STORY BY GEORGE F. ZII,;ILER DRA/ATIZATIOE BY FINIS PARR AND GREGOB~f WILLIA/~NON CHARACTERS: POPENIK GEQP~IAG (SAILOR) TERZO PaULON (SAILOR) KSAUS AGENT OrCONNELL ERS. TERZO AGENT SCOTT JOHNNY DOBERMAN (AEERISAN DRUG DEALER) NOTE: This property i8 duly protected by copyriRht and map not be used in any~anner wlthout the au~horlty of She ownor thereof. It is ~utborlzed for broadcast over R~ional Bro~do~stlnS Company, I~c. f~cilltie~ only on the d~te first indlcat@d h~rei~,
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~U-174-XI SPECIAL AGEI~T FIVE EPISODE XI IPTHE DRUG SMUGGLER'l (WIRELESS BUZZ) VOICE: CLEAR T~ WIRES..,.CLEAR T~ WI~ESJ...SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ..... T.~OUGH COURTESY OF J. EDGAR HOOVER ....... DIREOTOR [~IT~D STATES ~URFAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... DEPARTI~'T OF JUSTICE ..... YOU ARE PErmITTED TO RELATE AUT~NTISATED STONY OF "TH~ DRU~ S~UGGLgR" ~ ..... BASED ON CASE NO ............... FILE3 OF UNITED gTATES BUreAU OF INVFSTIGATION.... ~DNPARTY~NT OF JUSTICE. ~ .......... WASHINGTON, D.C ..... SPECIAL AGENT FIVF~ PRD~EED ....... (WIR~,LE~S BUZZ) SPECIAL AGENT FIVE: Spocial Agent Fivs talking....the story of "The Drug S!nuggl~rIr ..... real peopls.....re@l places ..... zoal clues ..... a rcal Case.....foz obvious rcasons~ fictitious ~ame8 are ~scd throughout.... our case begins in ~ew Yor~ Citv~ at the office of Narcotic Agcnt O'Oonnell. (WIP~LESS BUZZ)
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O'SOSNE~LI TERZO: O~CONNELL: TERZO: O~SONNELL: TERZO: O,CONNELL~ TERZO: SCOTT: O'CONSSLL: -2- ¥ouIll be risking your llfeI Mr. Terzo. I want you to realize that. Yes~ sir. I understand. If you get into a jamI we may not be able to do anything for you. I dontt mean that welll forget you. Ear from it. But in this game, you never Snow what will happen. YOU might find yourself in a sport where you Couldn't get word to this offioe~ Yes, sir. Iim telling you this because I want you to know what yourre Setting into,Terzo. I know what it is, all right -- I know what these people have been doing. .Flooding the whole United States with poisonous narcotics~ making dope ~ddiots of self-respectlng citizens. Heaven only knows how theylre getting the stuff in. ALL I can tell you is -- wait a second, and fill e~ll for OUr reports, (LIFTS TELEPHSNE REOEIVER) Hel~o - ask Agent Scott to come in, olease. And tell him to bring the file on case ......... Thank you. (REPLACES P~CEIVER) I want you to know this chap anyway, I'd be glad to. (DOOR OPEN AND SLOSE) (COMING IN) Hello - whatls on your mind~ OIOonnell? Some One lld llke you to meet. Agent Scotti this is (AD LIB BRIEF ~CENOWaEDG~ENT OF INTRODUSTIONB)
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O~CONNELL: TERZO: 01COI~ELL: SCOTT: O'OONNELL: TERZO: O~CONNELL: TERZO: OtCONNEL5: SCOTT: OtCONNELL: Scott7 Mr. Terns is going to act as our ~nderoover m~n. Eels going to try to help us get the goods on Popenlk. Pop~nlk? ThatSs the name of the man who~s the biggest drug Source w8 know of. Hotels the file on him, 01Connell. You asked to have me bring it in. Yes, th~unks. ITll pick ~ut the main facts for Terns before he starts out. In the first place, the fellow we want 2s a Greek -- that's why youIll have a little better chance of success than our re~lar operatives. Irm sorry hess a countryman of mine. All the more r~ason to turn him up. Hers certainly no credit to your race. Yes - thatls true, slz. Well....here~s the n~nls full name, Vantcho Popenik. He~s fourth officer of a freighter called ~t. Athos. But so far, altho weirs certain of what hels been doing we havenlt been able to ~ez a dlmsls worth of evidence against him. We know hels supplying drug d~alsrs in New York, and all over the United gtates. But how he gets the stuff to them -- and where he obtains his supply~ we havsnrt the remotest ides. But itls most reasonable to suppose that he picks up his stock at some port ~here the Mrs Athos puts in -~ Constantinople or some other Turklsh City, possibly. SO you see, Terzo- (EECHANICAL FADE)
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SOUND INTERLUDE: KRAUB : POPENIK: KRAUS : POPENIK: KP~US: POPEHIK: KRAUS: POPENIK: KIWAUS~ POPENIK: -4- i. STEA~ BOAT WHISTLE AND WAVES. FADE OUT. 2. MUSIC BOX EFFECT - FEW BARS - FAHILIAH FOLK OR CHILD TUNE. (FEIENDLY CA"JCXLE) HO -- ho, ho. He is beautiful, neln? Iss he not a brafe littl~ soldier? De best in Constantlnople| You hav~ done well~ Kra~8. Ach, Herr Popenik~ i% iss iny pride always to do yell. ~Ine va~er und hls va~sr before him -- ~hey w~re ~sters of de toymaker81 gl/ild back in Nuremb~rg~ All right, all right. Let ~ lock at the soldler~ Hc~e he IsI Herr Popenik. How does it work? You press de button on do bottom of hls co~t. See -- It is concealed - YO~ ~st know where to look for it - the~ w~en you pr~s~ the little tune Plays ~- and ~t the 8nd of de ~une de oompartment in his knapsack falls open. The In/iron -- llke this? Jah. Das ist do ono. And ~hen -- (~USIC BOX TUNE AS BEFORE) Yes, youlr~ right -- the oompartment flies open. Good, Krausj goodZ Yo~Ive o~rried OUt my idea exactly a8 I told you to.
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KRAUS: POPENIK: KRAUg: POPENIK: SOUND INTERLUDE: POPENIK: DOBERNAN: POPENIK: DOBEPd~AN: POPENIK: DOBEP~AN: POPENIK: I VaS glad to get de order. Herr Popenlk* Nero is not m~ch deu~nt for European dolls here in Constantinople. Dey llke better deir own kind, jab, Well7 my ~lend~ you will be ~n/sy now. Illl want a gross of thess dolls. Twelve dozen, you understand? And if theylrs as useful as I think they'll he, 1111 order more next ti[~ my shi~Is in port, Danke Soho~t Herr Popenik. D~nke sohon. Waste no time j gra~s -- the Mt~ Athos sails in a week, and I wan~ to take the toy soldiers with me --(EVILLY) to amuse my little nephews and nieces -- in New Yorkl I. STEAKBOAT WHISTLE. 2. WIND AND WAVES. 3. LIGHT CAFE BACKG~0UND. Listen~ Doberman. Youlre sure this place Is all right? (OFF-HAND) Sure* O'course, I don't know New York so well -- and I don~w want to get in trouble with the police or Federal men. Nobodyls gonna bother yo~ here, Popezlk, This is a speakeasy. Just right for you and me to talk business. Well, sit down Dcberr~n and be quiet. I put you wise, Before you start~ get this: IIm practically out of stuff. I'm selling my lest dozen decks of coke tonight. If you s~n't fix me quick II~ going to another wholesaler. Wait a mlnute~ my friend, ~alt ~ minute, When did I fall down on the Job~
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DOBE~MAN~ POPENIK: DOBERMAN: POPENIK: DOBERMAN: POPENIN: DOBERMANi POPENIK: DOBEPJ~AN~ POPENIK: DOBERI~AN: POPENIK: DOBERMAN: POPENIN: DOBEF~AN~ POPENIK: DOBERMAN: -6- Not yet. And you ain't going to if I can help it. Th~trs the way to talk -- you qot to protect yourself. And me, I have go~ to have pro~ectlon too~ Doberm~n. How~ ~on~y. In advance, Yeah? How do I know itts O,K~? Whole going to guarantee you? Listen my friendl I h~ve j~st come from aonstantinople~ I have cooalnej gum opium~ morphine -- all you can ~seb Not m~ p~rsonally~ I donlt go for klckin' th~ gong around° For your oustozers. YOU have just toli me you have no mo~e to 8ell. Well, you got to find some w~y qo get it to me. hast time we w~s nearly oaught. Think of a better w~y to deliver or we C~nlt do b~sin~ssb ~Isten to mej Dob~maz~ I h~ve now a w~y to del~ver that will never be discovered - never~ Gr~at. Spill it. (HEAVY KNOCKING OUTSIDE) ~hat~8 that~ Sit still6 It donlt concern us. Welre only customers Is it polic~? Is it polioe, you think? I donlt know. Sit quiet and nobod~ wlll bother you. (DOOR OPENED) Irve got to get out of here~ I~ve got to get out - De quiet, you dumb Splg. You want to attract a lot of attention?
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AUTHORITATIVE VOICE: DOBERMAN: POPENIK: DOBERMAN: POPENIK: TERZO: POPENIK: TERZO: DOBE~iKN: POPENIK: TERZO: POFENIK: TERZO: POPENIK: TERZO: (OFF) Keep your seats, everzbody~ Take it easy, now. (CALMLY) Itls only a prohibition raid. But I wouldn't llke to be searched, at that. So keep it quiet, Popenlk. ~y frlendj I am serious, live got to get out -- They can't keep me here| Shut up. You want to get us both in a jam? Doberman, I'm zelllng you. I c~n't stay here, It is stupid tc take risk8 with the Federal Agents. They -- (FADING IN) I bee pardon sir -- I could not help but notice you. You wish a way OUt of this place? DO you k~ow one? This way -- quleE. Follow ms. (FADING) Thatls good -- ~et him out of here. GO on. (FADING IN FAST) Thzough this door? Yes - hurry....Before they see us, (DOOR OPNNED) NOW - right down these stairs. (DOOR CLOSED) (liEN gUNNING DOWNSTAI~ SHORT DISTANCE) Wait -- I dropped my coat! In i% is something of value I~ll pick it Up for you -- here. Donlt stop. We are not yet clear. Thanks. Which way now? This door - in here, (DOOR) It is a private dlnln~ room. They won't look here. Some o~ in.
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POPENIK; TEBZO : POPENIK~ TERZO: POPENIK: TERZO: DODENIK: TERZO: POP~NIE~ TERZO: POPEDIK~ TERZO~ POPENIK: (FADING IN) Well~ my friend, I thought I was in trouble that time, Thanks to you, all is well. No thanks at atll. The Prohibition men wculdnlt have bothered you. You have not been long in New York I Not long, You s~e~ IIma merchant=~n - fourth officer on the freight ship ~t. Athos. I was afraid the police might take namesF and I wouldn't want my captain to know I'd been drinking in a speakeasy,..It's lucky for me you turned up, (SUDDENLY) Say - why you bother &nFway? Because I see you are my countryman. I too am a Greek, ~y nsrte is Constantin Terzo, Terzo. Terzo eh? Well '~ou have done me a service. Vanteho Popsnik is the name. I am delighted to make your acquaintance, San I help you any furthsz~ Well, I donlt sup!pose so, I only want to sllp out ~he back door - or someway I will not attract attention. Perhaps Tou can help me, friend Popenik, In what way - friend Terzo? Lately, I cannot sleep. I need somsthlnS for my nerves° ~st....~aybe a few dreams? What are you talking about? (EARNESTLY) Listsn Popsnlk - I am sick -- slck,..My ~ealerrs out of stuff and Itm crazy for a deck,.. Dreams - rest - you understand me? (VERY COLDLY) No, I donlt understand you, I don~t get what you mean, friend Terzo~
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TERZ0: SOUND INTERLUDE : MRS. TERZOI TERZO: JOHNNY: TERZO: JOHNNY: TERZO: J0}nTNY : MRS. TERZO : TERZO : MRS, TERZO : TERZO: MRS. TERZO: TERZ0: ~RS. TERZO: -9- No? NO? Well, forget it, forget it....Look. You can go out this door here. ~t leads to the alleyj and no one will see you,°..Good evenins, friend Popenik. I, DOOR OPENED AND CLOSEDo 2, AUTOMOBILE AND STREET NOISE BACKGBDUND. 3. DOOR OPENED AND CLOSED. Sit dovrn, 0onstan~in - s~pper w111 soon b~ re&dy~ ItI8 good to rest3 ~fe. Wherels Johnny? (FADING IN) Here I am, father. Ah~ good - good, YO~ been a ~ood boy today - oh? Sure~ father. You be~ your llf~o Thatls good~ oh? Well~ r~n and play now - ~other will oall you when Itrs tim~ to e~t. (FADING) Sure thing, pop. He gets more llke Am~rlcan boys every day~ Co~stantln. He will grow up to be & good eltlzen, I think so. Yes. And T would be very happyo...excep~ for one thing. Wh~t is that? This work that yo~ do. Oh~ Const~ntin - it is ~. That terrible m~n. Ke would kill you if he knew - he would kill you! Don~t worry, g~ wonlt know~ I h~venlt s~n Pop~nlk sinoe I helped him get out from that sR~akeasy. You s~ -Itd been trailing him night and d~y since he landed ~nS the% w~s r~ ~irst chance to get friendly with hi~. ~riendly wlth ~ man llk~ that~
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TERZO : MRS. TERZO : TERZO : MRS. TERZO : TERZO : MRS. TERZO : JOHNgY: TERZO : JOHNNY : TERZO : JO}~NY : TERZO : JOHNNY: TERZO: JOHNNY: T3RZO: -lO- I sup ose now ~Iii haqe to go dovau to hls ship and try to see hlm again. We hav~ no evidence against him yet, DidnI~ you say you tried to buy dr~gs from him? Yes. Theu he must suspect you - ShI Constantln~ tell the sovernment msn you eanI$ go on with this job - Itm afraid. There is nothing to fear. Fopenlk pill never suspect hi ov~ countryman. (DOUBTFJLLY) I hope not (SUDDENLY - SNIFFS) Oh - the supper is burnlng~ (FADES RAPIDLY) (DOOR IS CLOSED) (FADING IN) Father - Look! Look what Irve found. Is this for me7 What is it, Johnny? What have you got? It's a soldier - a little ~ooden soldier! Johnny - put it down- you mustntt play with that! (SURPRISED) Didntt you g~t it for me, Father? No~ I did not - put it down, son! All right, Father, I~ll put it on tho mantelpiece. (~USIO BOX EFFECT BEGINS TS WOHN) Listen - it plays a tune~ SO it does....funny. (WHEN TUNE COMES TO AN END) See thers~ Johnny| That ¢o,npartment in its back has opsnodl The music plays, and the knapsack flies open~ (EXCITED) Oh, gee, yes -- and look whatls inside- a lot of whirs powderj Tather...what is it~ Is it sugar? Is it sug~r~ Father? Wait - let me look at that stuff. No~ JohrLny - it is not sugar - But it is evidence.
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JO~NY: TERZ0 : JO~NY~ TERZO : NOPENIK: TERZ0: POPENIK: TERZ0: PONENIK: TERZO : -ll- ~hatls evlde~ce9 Father? Joh1~ny, please be quiet - I'll explain to you later. (LIFTS TELEPg0NE REOEIVER) (DEAD NUMBER TO BE WRITTEN IN EATER) Drydock 4, 81~5....(NAUSE) Hello, Narcotic Bureau? Agent O10onnell, plezse,.,Hello? This is Constantin Terzo speaking, gr. 01Connell, I h~e important news!.. Last night I got acquainted with Popenlk....Yes, sir... Nhile we were going down Bome stalrs, he dropped his overcoat. A wooden soldier fell out, and I picked it up wlthout telling him,..l have Just opened the wooden soldier ~nd I find that it has a hidden co~gaztment ..... (BUZZER RINGS ABRUPTLY) Thatls some one ~t the front door. Shall I go father? Yes son...Excuse me sir - my son interrupted....as I was Saylng - there is this hidden comp~rtment, and it is filled with powdered morphine. Row much? Oh about a~ o~nce - I - ~h--- (HANGS UP ABRUPTLY) (FADING IN) Donlt cut off your conversation on my account, friend Terzo. Popenik~ How did you g~t here? I look~d yo~ name up in the phone book, my friend. Nhaz do you want? Last night I lost a keepsake - a little souvenir I car~y with ms. A souvenir?
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SOPENIK: TERZO: POPENIK: VOICE: -18- A little wooden soldier ..... (NATORNS SIGHT OF IT) 0h-- I see that you found it and brough% it home.,,Very consideraZe of youj friend Terzo.,.l appreclaZe that, (WEAKLY) Not at all.,.not at all... - I -- But wharfs this? What's this? Som~ one has opened the little soldie~Is knapsack? Some one has tampered with Itj eh? Friend Terzo - that is an attention which I do not appr~olate! (WIRNL~SS BUZZ) WHAT WILL BE FATE OF INVESTIGATOR....WHO UNCOVERED EVIDRNCE AGAINST INTERNATIONAL NARCOTIC SL~UGGLER ..... STAND BY LUCKY STRIKE HOUH.,. .FOB TENSE CONCLUSION ..... ( WIP~E LESS BUZZ)
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$U-174-XI SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE XI "TEE DR[~ SIq/GGLERS" PART II VOICE: (WIRELESS BUZZ) CLEAR THE WIHES,....CLEAR THE WIHES..,~SPECIAL AGENT FIYE.,..STORY OF I'THE DRUG SMUGGLER".,.~.BASED ON CASE NO ............... FILES OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... DEPART~HET OF JUSTICE...~ WASHINGTOn, D,Co..,....PROCEED WITH CASE,, ...... AT OFFICE OF NAROOTZC AGENT OrSONNELL°..~DE ~EW YOHE (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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0~CONNELL: TEHZO: O~CONNELL: TERZO: OtOONNELL: TERZO: O'CONNELL: TERZO: -14- Yes...I was sure something had gone wrong Terzo~ when you hung up the telephone so abruptly. I hoped you would -- Of course, I ~snlt sure. For a minute I thought Popenik was going to shoot me in cold blood. (~EGRETFULLY) Well, Itls too bad he slipped through our fingers -- 8co%~ and I came to your house as quickly as we could -- but It wasn't quite qulok enough. Yes -- and I had %o let hlm take back his wooden soldier too, That soldier trick is very Interesting. Very, very ingenicus~ (KNOaK AT DOOR) Come i~. (ooo~ opg~s) Oh~ hello, Scott. Sit down. (DOOR CLOSES) (FADING IN) Thanks. Hello, Terzo -- too bad our men got a?n~y, We were just talklngabout that. It looks as though welre as far froz getting the goods on Popenik as When we started out. Mr, OIConnell,I think I have & scheme to s~toh him. Yes? What is it? Well, when he came to ~ house~ at first he was very angry because the wooden soldier had been opened, But flnallv I make him believe what I try to before -- that I am an addiet~ a dz~ig userp and I told him agaln that my dealer was not able to s~pply me,
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_15- SCOTT: TERZO : O'OONNELL: TERZO: POPENIK: TERZS: POPENIK: TERZO: POSENIK: TERZO: POPENIK: TERZO: POPENIE: TERZO: POPENIK: (INTERESTED) What did he say to that, Terzo? At first nothing, Mr. Scott. Then he say ~ybe he oo~ld get me soms of the stuff I 1~nted° Ah. good. Excellent. And then.~..I do~ided maybe I could make him admit some more!...so I picked ~p the wooden soldier~ and put It in front of him on the tabls° Popsnik looked at i~ for a while, and then he said: Why do you stare at ms llke thatj friend Terzo? I think you want to tell me more, Popeuiok. What gives you that idea? Look -- ~ou know Y san b~ trusted. I hel~ed you get a~ay from that speakeasy in the prohibition raid. I have tried to be your friend. (CONSIDERING) True ..... true~ And this llttl~ soldier...with the white powde~ in his knaps~ck.~.. What about him? Friend Pop~nik, I think maybe you have more of these soldiezs on your ship? 0ouldnlt you let ~e have som~ of them? Listen~ Terzo, fill see that you get what you needI for yourself. I advle~ you to let the matte~ drop risht there. Never mind about me or what ~Ive got. Yes, but -- (STOPS HI~SELF SUDDENLY) Wellj coms on, What were you goinS to s&y?
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TERZO: POPENIE: TERZO: POPENIK: TERZO~ POPENIK: TERZO: O'OONNELL: TERZO: O'CONNELL~ 800TT: OICONNELL: SCOTT: TERZO: -lg- Why donrt you meet ~ dealer. He says he c~ntt get any ~re stuff. The Federal Agents caught the wholesaler who supplied him, They did, eh? Well, the Federal Agents do not get the smart ones. Only those who are stupid. (OHUOELES). You might be able to do some business - he has many customers, this dealer Of ~ine. Has he got money? Oh, plenty -- I know for sure. All you want in advance, and cash. H~fe a good one to do business with. I tell you wh6t I'll do. YOU bring this one to my ship -- the Mt. Athos tomorrow night -- and I~ll talk to him. That is all I have to say to you right now. Good evening, Terzoo (PAUSE) (FADING IN) And then he w&ik right out of my houee~ Mr. Olaonnell. and I donrt see him again. But you think Popinek was finally convinoed~ Terse? Yes, I do. And he thinks I can bring him a drug dealer to buy from him. Well, Scott, therels where we get the evidence th&tts going to convict thl8 fellow. But we'll need somebody to impersonate ~ narcotic seller. Well - how about me~ elf? That's the point. Youtre just the man I had in mind, 8oott. O.Ko -- when do we move? Pop@nlk said ZO come ~board hls ship tonlght~ gentlemen.
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0'00NNELL: SCOTT: O'CONNELL: TERZO: O'CONNELL: SOUND INTERLUDE: POPENIE: SCOTT: POPENIK: S00TT~ POPENIE: SCOTT: POPENIK: SCOTT: POPENIK: SCOTT: POPENIg: -iT- Then you'd better start right now* Get some flashy clothes ~nd so on~ so youtll look in characterj Yes sir, thatlll be no trouble. Where's the Hr. Athos docked, Terzo? Pier S$, Brooklyn, All right thenI Scott. AS soon as youlre set,arrange to meet Terzo at the pier. And be very o~reful -- remember this Popenik is a thoroughly dangerous m~n, 1. AUTOKOBILE RUNNING THROUGH STREET~ STREET POISES. 2. WHISTLES AND FOG HORNS. S. SHIPtS BELL. Well....how much you want? Letls see..~cooaine and gum oplum..~how much you got? T can let you have nine hundred ounces of coke. Well....how about the opium7 T sot seventy-flve pounds of gum for you -- thirty-one dollars a pound. Why the extra dollar, Popenik? Listen. I got plenty of people that wants to buy this stuff at any price. I only talk to you anyway because my friend Terzo introduced you. If you don't like It you better go somewhere else, Well....how soon can you deliver? Soon as you get the money. How about later on tonight? Thatls all right -~ ~ny time. You just get the money here - I do ~he rest.
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SCOTT: POPENIK: SCOTT; PCPENIK: TERZO: POPENIK: SCOTT: POPENIK~ SCOTT; POPENIE~ SCOTT: FOPENIK: SCOTT; POPENIK: SCOTT: POPENIK: -IS- Will you be on the ship all night? YeB -~ Itm i~ charge of the crew that guard8 her4 That ~k~s iS convenient for everybody. But say ~ don~t ~ut ~o t~y to l~ik OfT this p~er with ~ lo~d of dope. You got to get m~ some other ~y to o~rry the stuff off~ I got ~hat fixed too. How i~ thatj Po~enlk? You w~it t111 about th~e olclock this ~orning~ Most nights th~ police boat stop~ patrolllng the river before that tlme~ Then what? YOU ge~ small motor l~unoh~ Very smallj ~nder~and? All r±ght~ Th~n you tak~ electric torch* An slec~rlc ~oroh? Wha~ for? Fl~sh o~¢~i my frl~d, O~e Tl~sh~ you ~d~rstand? That i~ ~he signal -- and I will b~ ~atohlng on d~k he~e~ When I see th~ light~ I w~ll ~nswer wi~h the shlpl~ searchlight, O,K. ~- w~ll look for that si~'nal. You will oo~ up ~long th~ Billboard Bid~, T~ the first port hole. Th~n I will collect th~ money -- and h~v~ ~ couple of ~ll~r8 io~ the ([rugs on to gc~r launch. You get m~? Perfectly* Oo~ ~o~* I w~ll See yo~ with th~ mo~ey b~e~n three ~ng Tour this mor~ng~
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SOUND INTERLUDE: OJCONNELL: SCOTT: TERZO: O'CONNELL: SCOTT: OTCONNELL: SCOTT: O'CONNELL: TENZO: SCOTT: O ' CONNELL : -1$- i. FOG HOF~S. S. WASH OF WATER. 3. PUTT-PUTT OF LAUNCH ENGINE. This i~ going to be a ticklish Job, 8cottl Yeah. We~r~ ~aklng plenty of chances. But I do uot think he suspect~ smything~ sir. This Popenik7 he is greedy -- All ho thinks of n~w is the Well..4donlt forget~ hels also oleve~q WeSll havo to avoid going on that ship if we can~ (FRETFUL) Hang it. I wish I could have brought a strong party of agents°..Bllt ther~Js ~o room ~or the~ in ~ small bo~tj and if he Hot wind of a r~id~ he might b~ able to dump the stuff, DO you know I~ there's a ~olloe boa~ ~earby, Scot~? It usually ~tops patrolling about this time of night, accordin~to Popenlk. Just our luc~, and ~f w~ should llne ou~ up to stand by, i~ would mak~ hi~ suspicious, ~ ~ppo~e. I1m ~fr&id so~ sir. Word bettor ~ut OUt bets o~ Terzors plan ~nd L~v~ the police to their ~galar All there is to do~ I guess. There shs is~ ~r. Scott -- ~he ~J Athos. Guess we'd better ~hut oft the engin~ and dzi~ alongside. (ENGINE NOISE OUT) Not that flashlight, $oo~t?
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SCOTT: 0'CONNHLL: SCOTT: O'CONNELL: TERZO: SCOTT: TERZO: O'SONHELL: SCOTT: 0'CONNELL: TEREO~ 0'CONNELL: SCOTT: GEORGIAC~ SCOTT: GEORGIAC: SCOTT: GEORGIAC: SCOTT: GEORGIAC: SCOTT: 0'CONNELL~ SCOTT: 0~CONNELL: YesI sir. Then give your signal. Hight, One flash° There~ Does he answer? Yes, There it is. See? He blinked the searchlight. Welts alo~gslde nowptoo~ (HOLLOW BUMP) P~sh off....we're sczapinS the 81de of the boat, Right. H~re's the first porthole. ~r~b It, We~v8 stopped -- wetll stay alongside, There's somebody at the porthole. ~se? Hello -- Hello in thers, (SLIGHT DISTANCE OFF) Hello~ (ASIDE) Ztls a sailor. Popenlk say -- please to give moneT for cargo, Oh no -- Tf you think [rm going to give ~y~ the money, youlre mistaken~ H8 say -- glve money pleasso Go b~Ok and tell him that wonft do~ Irve Hot to see the stuff before I pay, All rlght~ I teLL Popenlek wh~t you say. (YADES) Say.,.the sailors lu~st be in on ItI toop O*Connell. Yeah...I guess this little guard crew is Popenlkls gKng, Looks llke we'lL have to pick them up toot then. Pepenlk is the boy we want most. Letls be s~re of him first, (SOFT T~) What w~s that?
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S CO TT : TERZO: POPENIK: SCOTT: POPENIK: SCOTT: TERZ0: O'CONNELL: TZRZ0: O'¢0NNELL: SCOTT: 0,00NNELL: GEORGIAC: -21- A rope ladder~ Somebody threw it down from the ship/ (DISTANT OALL) Hers oallln~ us -- Popenlk° (OFF) You down there. What is it, Popenlk? Come on deck -- a~d bring the mo~gy. (LOW VOICE) What do you say, O'Oonnell? Wait.,..let me go up, ~r. O'Connell. Itll get one load of the drugs -- th~n I~ll tell him to co~e down here to collect his money, ~t is safcr~ Good scheme, Terzo. Then wedll have prisoner and evldsnce on this boat where we gant ~m. All right then. Up I go -- up the rope ladder. (FADES) I~ll t~ll him to show me the drugs° I llke ~h~ fellow:s nerve, 8cot~. Yeah, so do I~ I hope Popenlk f~lls for this. I can • think of lot~ of places lld rather be ~han the deck Of ~hat vessel. (QUIETING HI~) Wait - be oareful~ (SHORT DISTANQE OFF) Pleas~. O'CONNELL: GEORGIAC: SCOTT: GEORGIAC: SCOTT: O'OONNELL: Itls the ~y in the porthole as~in. See wh~t he wantsq Popen±k w~nt ~eest~ire S~ott to com~ on deck please. With ~he mo~eyj I suppose? He say bre~ng half the money ~nd he geeve you stoff° (LOW VOICE) Well....I guess ~hat's the best we ozn do. Itrs up the rope ladder for me, too, I ~uess. All right, Scott, llm afraid we canlt play around any longer, Make him hand you the dop~ himself, and %hen grab him.
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SCOTT: TERZO: POPENIN. TERZO: POPENIK: SCOTT: POPEFIK: SCOTT: POPENIK: PAULOS: POPENIK: PAULON: SCOTT: POPENIK: SCOTT: POPENIK: -23- (FADING OUT] Yeah...If I don~t...fall off this ladder...Into the ~ast River .... (BRIEF INTERLUDE OF RIVER N01SES) (FADING IN) .... very well, if yo~ insist~ friend Fopenik...,he will give you half the money h~reI on the desk. Thatls bett~r. Yo~ ~e~ those bags over there? Th~trs dope -- all dope. The~eIs enouNh there to hop up everybody in New York. ¥oulre right~ sure~ Well~ you will get thln~s all settled now, Sere is ~iB%er Scott, SO you flnally Come ~pon deck, eh? (FADING IN) Li~t~n, Popenlk, HO~ much longer do I have to wait for my order? You donlt hav~ to wait at all, my friand. Then whatls holdlnI up Sh~ parade? Nothing. (0ALLS) Paulos. Yeahl Get ready to load this feller's boat for him. 0all th~ rest of th~ boys to help you. Sure thing. (CALLS) Geo~giac: Zalat~s| Val~mes~ (CROWD EFFECT: GREEK SAILORS CROWDING ROUND, AD LIB.) Well -- why don~t they get going? First you pay ~If the money. Then ~e load the bo~t for you~ and you pay other half. Thatls all right with ms, Were you are~ Popenik. Half the jack. YOU got ~he rest too? Let me see it.
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SCOTT: POPENIK; SCOTT: TEHZO: SCOTT: POPENIK: SCOTT: POPEN~K: SCOTT: POPENIE: TERZ0: SCOTT: TEDSO: POPENIK: O'CONNELL: TERZO: POPENIK: All right. Take a look. Now start IoadinI my boat. (BARKS IN GREEK TO SAILORS) Terzo -- what's that? What's he saying to them? (QUICKLY, LOW EXCITED VOICE) ~r. Scott - wefts in d~nger! He~s telling the sailors to rush us and grab the rest of the money~ Grab a package of that dope~ Terzo, and well1 stop this right hsreA All right, boFso Get lem. Get that money. (SAILORS SNOUT) Never Mind that. P~t yo~r hands Up. What is this? What is the mes~qlng of this? Nopenlk, youtrs under arrest. Ilm a Federal Narcotic Agora. Don~t make me laugh. ~r. Scott - ~rJ Scott - look out in back of you -- duck -~ duck -- ~hat---?? (HEAVY METALLIC CLANK) That sailor -- he throw a crowbar a~ you~ My GOd, he nearly hit yo~, too~ ~en -- out the ladder -- cut the rope ladder so he cannot get back to his boat~ Too bad you cannot cover with the gan two ~aNs at once, ~r. Agent~ All right, boys .... (FADING IN) Keep backl Keep away from the top of this ladder, or I'll flre~ OrConnell~ Mr. Scott -- Itrs Mr. O'Connell~ Who ~re you? Where do you come from?
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0'CONNELL POPENIK: 0'C0~ELL POPENIE: OJCONNELL TERZO: O'COHNELL: POPENIK: SCOTT: O'CONNELL: POPENIK: SCOTT: 0'CONNELL: SCOTT: ~24- Never mind that~ Hoott~ you keep Popenik covered, and Itll keep my gun on the crew. All right -- back up -- go on -- move back th~re~ YOU double-cros~er~ You ~re another Federalp oh? Thatls rightP Popenik. And if you know whatls best fo~ you~ yourll submit to arrsst q~letly~ Arrest~ ken, you hear that? SPEAKS TO ]~EN IN GREEK) SAILORS GROWL Terzo - wharfs he telling them? He say they are ten to three. He say rush us and get the guns, but be careful not to make noise on account of the police. He did, oh? (THREE GUN SHOTS) (SAILORS SEOUT) Those shots were in the air. A warning~ But well1 drop the next ~u who makes a move toward us. Terzo -- Scott ~- back over this way ~ keep lem covered -- He is only blufflng9 men. He is afraid to shoot| Come -- all together now -- we -- C gA~LORS ~XAOT) WhatJ~l we do, 0fConnell. Hold lem off as long as we can, You and Terzo keep Close. Come on, men~ (POLICE BOAT SIREN FADES IN) Hey - do you hear that. Itfs a siren| You bet it is. And yourd better figure out where you stand, Popenlk| T1~at sirenls on a police boat, heading for zhis vessel.I Fire in the air, Scott, so they;ll keep risht on coming. O.K. (TWO SHOTS)
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POPENIK: OrCONNELL: TERZO: SCOTT: O'CONNELL: POPENIK: O'OONNELL: TERZC: SCOTT: O'CO~NELL: ~25~ Police boat| But look here~ What's the matter with you. Youlve got ~othi~ o~ me -- you can prove no case agalnst me. SO ~hatrs what you think, eh? Well, just l~t ~e ~- ~r~ CIConnell ~ look out~ Eels rc~hing for so~thins~ 01Connell ~- A ~un~- Hold it, Pop~niko Oh, no. ~t~ not a gun~ Itrs just something he doesnlt want found on him, A little toy soldier he hoped to throw Into th~ river. This cinches it~ Pop~nik. ~elve got a case against you~ all right. It is a toy~ Only a toyp I tell you. I dontt agree with you. (~USI~ BOX EFFECT) This is a con~alner for smugglln~ narcotics. And when th~ tun~ is f~nishedi the toy soldlcrI8 knapsack opons -- llke this -- a~d w~ hav~ the evldeno~ that will convict all of you~ T~rzo, r~n forward ~nd h~il ~h~t polIc~ boat. Ask th~ to oom~ alongs~ds~ Right ~ow~ ~r. O~Connell~ S~T~ Chtsf -- ho~ did you know th~ patrol boat was in ~he n~ighbo~hood when you fired %hos~ first shots~ We~nlt yo~ asklng me abo~t that as w~ came out he~e? Yes, ~ w~s~ S~O~ bu~ ~s it turned o~t, Pop~nlk hi.self gave ~e the ~nswer -- whe~ h~ told his cre~ not to make noise on ~count of the police. I thought ~ ~Ight be ~ oh&nee worth ~ing, and it s~e~s to have turned OUt all ri~t. W~Ire out of a bad fix and we'll have this crowd look~d up in plenty of time for breakfast.
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VOICE: VANTCHO POPENIK AND DISHONEST SAILOI~S....aONVICTED,... SENTENCED TO PENITENTIANY ........ 0AZE NO,.. ........... UNITED STATES BUREAU OF II~VEZTIGATION ...... DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE ..... CLOSED ..... AZSIGN~[ENT C01~PLETED ......... (~I~LESS) ...... Th~ LONG AR~ OF mHE FEDERAL LAW REACTS EVERYWP~RE ..... 0R~}~E DOES NOT PAY...,,,~.. .... (WIRELESS BUZZ) FARR/WILLIA~SON/chl lleen ll'313z
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J THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modern Minutes with the world's finest DaEnce Oral'tetras and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TU~SVAY • TH~mSDAY l ~ "LUCKIES SATURDAY I0 so II P.M. ~ ~ J" NEAFa~wI~.,~OCIATED ~ ~ ~ have CHARACTER. THURSDAym JANUARY 19, 1933 (MUSICAL SIGNATUP~E) KOWAP~D CLANEY: Ladies and ~ontlemen~ %h~ LUCKY STRIKE Hour presented for your pl~asure by the manufacturers of LUCKY STRIKE Oigare~e~ ~ sixty modern mln~tes with the world's fines~ danc~ orchestras, a~d th~ famouB LUCKY STRIKE thrills ...... Tonlght the ~aglc Caxpet Is loaded to the edges wi~h music and l&ughter. Jack Pearl, the B~ron ~uncha~senI with his capable a~sistant, Sharley~ will apply the laughing gas. But first ~e~ll dance to th~ tuneful m~lodies of Abe L~man ~nd his 0rchest~° SO her~ we go! ON WITH THE DANCE....(WHISTLE) OKAY ~ERICA!
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-2- ABE LY~AR: Good evening, everybody~ this is Abe Lyman invitinq you all to dance to -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) ABE LYKAR: Carps t • HOWARD SLANEY: Back to the ~n at the controls speeds the ~/agic (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK.r Arc you going to Florida this winter? They tell me thousands of people from all over the United States are gathered do~"rn there enjoying the warm sunshine and open air. Wc have just reoelved this m~ssage from a qamous resort hotel -- the Carllng of J~cksonville~ Her~I~ what it saF~ "LUCKY STRIKE is the most popular olgarett~ w~th th~ gu/e~ts ~ho stay at this hotel and i~ uscd at approximately D0~ of the banquets ~erved here. An outstandlng banquet recently was that of the ArmF and Navy Club at which LUCKY STRIKES were served excluslwly.' (SIGNED) C. D. ~cIlwalne, Manager Oarllng Hot~l~ Jacksonville~ FLorida. You k~ow~ itIB natural to fi~d poopls all ov~r Amerloa liking the smoothj sven-burnlng tobacco milddl~s they got In LUCKIES ..... theylve found, in Florida as in Mai~e~ that LUCKIEB a~e mild~ always well filled with lo~g~ silken tohaceos...they notice partlcularly th~ absence of ~tems and ~Ichunks~ which c~use tuu~v~n b~rnln~ azd drop ash On elothi~. (~R~ CLANE¥ CONTINUES O~ NEXT PAGE)
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-3- HOWARD CLANEY: (CONTI}~IEE) That rich~ smooth texture is due to the fine, expensive LUCKY STRIKE tobaccos ..... and also to the fact that those fine leaves are "TOASTED~r.,..made eve~-burnlng as they are ~de mellow-mild, LUCKIEB offer you the finest of clg~rette guality -- and now your tobacconist offers you the greatest of clga~ette value whon he gives you two paok&ges of LUCKIES for twenty-flvs cents. Well, my friends~ here COmeS Jack Pearl and Cliff Hall, or in other words, the Baron Muncha~sen and ~harley, Tonight the Baron outs ~ SW~Eg~r figur~ iz his cowboy outflt,.,.he looks like one of those strong silent men from ths western plains ..... so now ladies and gentlemenj may ~e present ...... his modesty., .... the Baron Munchausen~ ( FIRST PART -- tr0OWBOY.)
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-4~ HOWARD OLANEY: That ?ra~ ou~ own royal co~sln~ the Baron l~unchausen~ HeIII jolu ~s again in a short while~...and now it18 ABe Ly~nTs %urn to spe~k~ and hels folng to say it with music, Og WITH THE DANCE ABE LY~N.. .(WHISTLE) ...OKAY ANERICA~ ABE LY~N~ ABE LyMA~: HOWARD CLANEY: This tlns we play - (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) The L~agic Carpet dashes back to the Pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YOR/~ A more sacred duty cannot be entrusted to ~ man than that of defcnde~ of public heal~h.,..and it is larfely through the co~ragebus clq/sading spirit of men llk~ Dr. Rc2~n NJ B~ndesen that a gre~t awakening has taken pl~ce throughout th~ leng%h ~nd broadth of America to the importance of health prevention and sanitary workln~ conditions. As President of the Board of Health of the great clty of ChIcago~ Dr, Dundeson has fought with every power at his co~nd for absolute s~Lnitation i~ n~ufacturing methods~ and fgr the banishment of archaic rules of health. (~R, OLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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NOWAP~D CLANEY : -S- (CONTINUES) Because of Dr. Nundesenls devoted public service we Let me read it to you: have just flashed a wire to hlmm DR. F~RNAN N+ BUNDESEN PRESIDENT, BOARD OF HEALTN CHICAGO, ILLINOIS SIR: YOU ARE INTERESTED IN PROMOTING THE BENEFITS OF PUBLIC HEALTH TO THE CITIZENS OF CHICAGO AND THE NATION....NE ARE INTERESTED IN PROMOTING T}~ SALE OF CERTIFIED CREKO CIGARS TO THE S~OKERS OF AMERICA....YOU WILL BE INTERESTED IN KNOWING THAT CERTIFIED CREMD IS ~ADE BY THE NeST MODERN METHODS AND IS THE ONLY CIGAR IN THE WORLD FINISHED UNDER GLASS....AND NOW THROUGH THE UNIQUE PRICE SF FIVE CENTS STRAIGHT - THREE FOR TEN CENTS - ~ILLION8 SF SIGAN SNOKEBS ARE ENJOYING T~ BENEFITS OF 0REM0'S BIG VOLUHE SALE8 WHICH MAKE POSSIBLE CREMO'$ FINE TOBACSO QUALITY AND SANITARY CLEANLINESS...CONGRATULATI~ AND BEST WISHES FOR YOUR CONTINUED GOOD WORK, VINCENT RIGGIO, VICE PRESlRENT IN CHARGE OF SALES T}~ AHERICAN TOBACCO CO~PANY Ladies and gentlemen, this telegram is now on its way to Dr. He~n NI Nundesent President of the Board of Health of the City of Chlc~go. Rememberl if you w&nt an immaculately clean, delicious hlNh-quallty ClNar -- ask for Certified Cremo at five cents straight, three for ten cents. ........................... STATION BREAK ............................
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-S- HOWARD CLANEY: WeEre on OUr way ag~in...,The Magic CarPet is rdshing us over Manhattanls forest of skyscrapers....to ~ke a 3-point landing right at the feet of Abe Ly~%n and his boys from the Paradise Restaurant. ON WITH THE DANCE ABE LY~AN...(WHISTLE)...0KAY A~ENICA! ABE LY~k[AN: Everybody dance to -- (TITLES) ) > ) ) ABE LYdiAN: HOWARD CLANEY : Climb aboard - here goes the Magic Carpet. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YOP~K! Thank you Abe....now you can sit down and listen to Jack Nearl~ who~ ~',e all know as the Baron Hunchausez. HaTs ready to tell you in his o~m fluent language more about nls ranchlng experiencss ...... Baron, therers the microphonc....so ride lem cowboy~ (SECOND PANT -- "COWBCYj~)
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-7- HOWARD 0LANEY: Amid the laughtez ~nd &pplause the Baron bows his way out of th~ floodiights..~.He~ll be back ~t thls ~ame time next week~.~.and ~o~ b~fore you da~oe again~ m~y we re~i~d you that o~ Saturday ~ightt ou~ ro~ntls young c~uple~ Gladys Rice and Robert Hailiday~ wlll bring us th~ hit ~ongs from th~ musioal comedF and op~rett~ s~ag~. Sen Bornic~ th~ old m~estro, will supply th~ d~n~s mu~is and hls i~mlt~ol~ o~atter,,...but thatI~ ~turday night .... tonight Abe Lyman is the ~an of th~ ho~r..~.so ~r~ w~ go for another foxtrot. ON ~ITH THE DA~0E ABE LY!L~N...(~HISTLE~,..OKAY A~ERICA~ ( ( ABE LYL{AN: on its way. The dancing continues with -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) The Magic Carpet flashes over our heads and starts (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK1
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-8- HOWARD OLANEY : How about %hat clgarette you are smokln~? Is it ~d~ to resls~ the tendenoy to fl~ke ~nd dr~p ashes? ~illions of smokers have discovered tha~ LUCKY STRIKE i~ this pro~otion. You may have noticed that LUCKY STRIKE burns with a long, white ash -- a firm ash that doesn1~ fall. Do you know why? Run you~ finger along a LUCKY and notice how smooth and even it is -- how free from jagged stem par%ioles. Ex~mlne the ends of your LUCKY ~- notlo~ how well packed it 18 and free from loose onds ..... And if you wer~ to cut open that LUCKY STRIKE, you'd notice how long the fine ~±iken tobaooo • hreds are. B~ more i~ort~n~ -- these ¢holce ~rkish ~nd ~omes~ic tobaccos have been "TOASTED~" purifled so that when ~hey bur~j they burn evenly and leave a whi%e ash -- a firm white ash that tobacco men recognlze as ~he sign of the finest tobacco quality. It is this sup~rlor quality that makes LUOKXES s~ dellc~ous to the taste-- so mellow-m~id. It is this supericr quality ~hat e~bl~s you to enjoy a LUCKY without worrying abou~ flaking ashes ~- so ruinous to lovely gowns. And las~ bat not least, it is the gr~at d~nd for this sup~rlor quality ~h~t enables your d~l~r to offer you two packag~ of 5UOKIES for only twenty-flve cents -- a 1933 value in th~ world's flnest olg~rett~o Th~s still p~ty of time for da~i~°~Ab~ ~n ~ h±~ ~o~ o~ ~ ready ~ ~illin~ to play so ~ ON WITH T~ DAN~H~T~I.~O~A¥ A~RICA~
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ABE LYMAN : AS the !~aglc Carpet settles down on the dance floor, we play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) ABE LYMAN: HOWARD CLANNY: We shoot the ~gic Carpet back to the Pilot, (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK~ So, ladlss and g~ntlemen~ another LUCKY STRIKE Hour comes to a close, Please remember, on Saturday night ~e p~esent Gladys ~iee and Robert Halliday and the one and only Ben Berniel Until Saturday then -- goodnight! (~NSICAL SIGNATURE) This is the National Broadcasting Company. AGENCY/ehilleon 1/19/~3
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FEATURING JACK PEARL EPISODE XK "C 0 W B 0 Y" PARTS I AND II BY WILL IAI~ K. WELLS FOR LUCKy STRIKE HOUR JANUARY IR, iS3S
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"T~ ~ODERN BARON ~UNCHAUDEN" EPISODE XX "COWBOY" *** PARTS I AN~ II BY WILLIA~ K, WELLS ~ABON ~UNCBAUSEN.... , ........................ , .... , .JACK PEARL CHARLEY ........................................ ,... ,CLIFF BALE NOT_~E: This property is duly protected by copyright and 1~ay not be used in any ~annsr without the authority of the owner thereof. It is authorized for broadcaa$ ove~ Na~io:~al Broadcasting Company, Inc. facilities, only on the date first indicated ho~eln.
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"THE IIODEEY BAR6N ~UNSHAUSEN" EPISODE XX "SOWBOY" PART I CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BABDN: CHARLEY: BARON: CBARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: I say, Baron - that:s a rsal smart looking cowboy outfit yourrs wearing. (LAUGH) Itts bully. But why are you carrying boxing gloves? I~m going West to punch cows. But you don~t punch cows with boxing Eloves. Is that so? Well, I got high class cows and you gotter handle them with gloves. I dldnlt know you were Interested In bovines. .......... hello7 I said I wasn't aware that you were interested in bovines. The quadruped mammal bred and reared for the primary purpose of supplying meat, ............ WEIRE OFF~ Have you any big cows? Have I? (LAUGH) YOU should see my wife. Ifm referring to beef on the hoof. Thatls hs~ I Please understand me, Baron - I mean cattle raised for the beef market, Oh, that kind. Yes - do you go in for it in a big wag?
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BARON; OHARLE~: BARON CHARLEY: BARON: CHA~RY: BARON: OHA PJdEY: BARO~: OHAPJ~EY ! BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON : CKARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CFARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : Sharley, I am the biggest beefer in the world, You aoknowl~dge it. Sure I -- Yourre commencing with the comical snappers. Irm ~orry, Baron. NO offens~ intended. And being the biggest beefer in the world I ~ot the biggest oab$1e ranch, You would have, Yes and ---I don~t care so much for that snapper either Baron, llm afraid &t ilmes you don't get me. At times I donlt want you. I mean you n~soonstrue the purport of my cements. ..........enos ever, please? YOU labor under the impression that T intentionally phrase ~F vocabulary so as to make it sound ambiglous and equivocal, (LAUGH) Leils talk about cows. Very well. You know I have a raneh~ Baron, ~y goodness| I dld/l't know you was interested in boneyvlnes quarterback m~2nmys of the primary school meat m~rket, (LAUGH) See? NOW IIm off on my own hook, Good for you! For ~e too| 80 you dldnli k~ow I had a ranch? Never - how big is it? About four hundred acres, Your hundred aozes (LAUGH) Thalls not a ranoh - itl8 a back yard,
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0HAPIEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BABON : OHARLEY BARON : CHARLEy : BARON : CFARLEY ~ BARON : CWARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: -3- I suppose your ranch is bigger. I don't know exactlF how big it is - but I sent ten men out to measure it th~e years ago ~nd tbeylre not back yet* I canlt swallow that. I didn't ask you to eat it. Where is this ranch~ In TexaB. What part af Texas? ~y its -- er -- you know that '~Brother Cau You 8pare Me A Dims?" FtBrother 0an You Spare Me A Dime?fr Y~s~ the Pa~ ~ndle~ Oh, th~ Pan Handle DiBtrlot of Texas, YeB° I 8UppOSO you have a lot of oattlcT T~O million heads. TWO million head of cattle? What do you think - cabbage? Yo~ m~st employ a lo~ of oowb~ys~ How m~zy~ ~y Cousin ~ugo° YourCousln Hugol Alone| No ~ of cou~ not, I didntt think so, I holp h~m on 8atu~dnF night~° Az I supposed to believe that? Youlre ~upposed to believe anything,
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0HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0FARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BA~0N : CHARLEY: BARON : -4- Well~ I donlt. (LAUGH) It makes no difference. Hugo is a great cow~u~cher~ HOW did he beoom~ s~ch a great oo~qouncher? ~rink1~g milk punches. Nels a good roper too. A good roper. Yes -~ l~st week he roped me into lendlng him %en doll~rs. Is he a good ho~seman? I should s~y~ Why he even looks llke ~ horse. Looks llke a ho~se? And e~ts like ~ horse. And cats like a hors~! Yes and -- lays in the h~y all day. And you a~d he t&k® care of two million h~ad of ca~le7 And s~ventR five thous&nd horses. Oh~ BAron~ YouIll have to let up a llttl~. Yo~Ire getting in ~retty deep. Donlt worry, Irll swlm out. What is the blggest worry with c~ttl~p ~aron? Flitters. Flitters? Little flitters - flies. 0hj gnats. Flitters. Gn&ts. Filtrate. I s~y Its E~ Gnats to you - Flitters to m~.
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CP~RLEY: BARON : ~HAR~Y : BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: C HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARDN : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARIEY : BARON: -5- Let it go, Have you any prize stock? .,,....I beg your answer? HAve you any prize cows or steers, ? thought I h&d one hut I dicLnlt. Bow was that? A fellar sold me a steer that weighed over six tons. Six tons~ Thmt certainly should hays been a prize steer. Be s~id it was~ but it wasnft. It had only one ear, a broken nose and it was lame. The man put one over on you. Yes six -- he gave me a bum steer. It was my own fault and only goes to prove Bailey was right. Bailey was right -- you mean Barnum. Whatrs the difference - Itrs the same firm, With only you and Hugo watching the cattle are you bothered with cattle rustlers? • ...~ ..... did somebody move in? I said arc you bothersd with cattle rustlers - outlaws? No -- I'm only bothered with in-laws, Ey brother-in ~?~i, my slster-ln-law -- Hold on, Baron -- I mean cattle thieves -- who s~eal cattle. That's what they did. They stole cattle from you? Yes sir -- my tea kettle, my watsr cattle and my coffee cattleJ Please understand me, Baron. I mean cattle raiders, robbers, desperadoes, bandits. 0h~ Cow stealers?
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0HARLEY : BAFJON : 0H~RLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : CKARLEY: BARON: CFS~RLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: Yes - arc you bothered with them? 8ure~ 0he time me ~nd my cousin Hugo W~s trotting th~ OVen. Trotting the oven? Running the heatez, galloping the stove, Just a moment, do you mean riding the r~nge? Thatls Ito Riding the range! W~ was riding along when we r~n into a r~ttler. A snake? No - a seoonded handed oar. In the oar l~&s a feller named One Eye P~t~J 0he Eye Pete? Yes ~- he was acting ~- you know -~ 8oft of s~spicious° Yes - sup ~ish - u~, 8usB1clo~s, Soup-fi~hes -- buss ~- he was aoting fu_~ AS if he had done somethlng. Sure -- h~ was the kind of a foll~r wBo only looks you straight in the face when your back is turned° He only looks you straight in the face when your back is turned? Yes -- How can that b~ done? 6ult yourself. Well sir7 I said "One Ey~ Net~ what are you doing here On the radiator?' On the range. NO -- he was sitting on the radiator oN She carq Why was hc sitting on the radiator of the car? Would you like to know?
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CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : SHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: SHAR~Y: BARON CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: .7- I certainly wouldl Call him up and ask him, ~ontlnue, Ba~oD. Where was I~ You were asking h1~ what hc was doing on the radiator? Thatls right -- I said "One Eye Pete what are Sou doing standing here on the ground?" Wait a mlnute -- you Just said he was sitting on the radiator. Sure -- but he got down while we was talking. Some day youfll drive me tosses. (LAUGH) It'll So a short trip. So I said One Eye Pete what are you doing sitting in that car? Now hels sitting in the car? Sure -- he travels fast -- so I looked hlm straight in the eye. YOU looked him straight in the eye? Yes - the good one. And before I knew it he st~pped on the gas and was off. He evldentlg had been guilty of a mlsdem~ano~ or crime and wasn't taking any chances of being apprehended. .......... I beg your stuff? Proceed with your story~ Baron. He was driving ei~hty miles an hour with me and Hugo right behind him, Hsld on~ Baron - donlt tell me a horse can ru~ eighty miles an hour, Sure not -- Then hsw sould you and Hugo Bays been right behind hlx'
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BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON OHARLEY: HA~ON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEY: BARON: Because our horsas were each doing forty miles. No use. On we went -- I gol a little ahead wlth Hugo behind me. Bight on your ho~sels tail. ....... Hello? H~goIs horse was right On your horsels tail. (LAUGH) go -- my ho~se dldnlt have a tail. Suddenly I grabbed ahold of my loulsa. Your Louisa? l~y lassy. Oh your laseol M iof ro el I e~n/ng it ove~ my head - le~ I% go and it fell over the left wheel of the car -- One wlst of my twist and -- One twist of your wrist. A quick Jerk, and I pull him up~ Remarkable~ Zmposslble! We looked in the back of the oar and what do you suppose was there? I'm ready for anything. Youlll get it. Wha$ was in the car? Twelve cows. Twelve cows~ Yes sir. Was it a truck? No - a roadster. And twelve cows were in it? In the rumble seat.
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CHAR~Y~ BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEY : BARON: OHARLEy: BARON OBARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : OBARLEY : BARON: 0BARLEY: BARON : ~lat Is the most fantastic tale I ever heard! And you couldnrt m~ke me believe it if you stood on your head. The Baron don~t upset himself. No sir - that never could have h~ppened. Was you there, 8harley? No -- but my brother was. I ---p hello? I said I was not there but my brother was. Ahj ha~ Then he would know if there was twelve cows In the rumble seat. He certainly would. Where is your brother rIBht now? I believe he's somewhere In China. So there was twelve cows in the rumble seer. All right - have it your way. Well, we took Pete to the Sheriff and the Bheriff found him guilty of cow steallng and marked him in the book as a horse thief. Just a moment - if Pets was fecund guilty of cow stsalln~ why did the Sheriff write him in the book as a horse thief? He couldnlt spell cow stealing. That night the boys broke into the jall -- took Pete out to a tree -- To lynch him° Not to pick apples. They put a rope around his neck and one of the boys sald "Well Pete have you got anything to say?'I
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CHARLEY: BAROn! : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : -10- They asked him if he had anything to say. Yes~ and he said -- (LAUGH) Com8~ come~ wh~t did he say? Well, IT11 be hanged, Oh, Baronl Oh, RharlRy| (END OF PART I)
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~HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: NAF~N : ~RAPJLEY : BAROn: OHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHABLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON -II- "TF~ MOIIERN BARON MUNCHAUSEN" EPISODE XN "C 0 W N O Y" BART II I say~ Baron~ did you ever ride in ~ rodeo~ .~......Oould yo~ oome b~ck? I s~Id, did you ever ride in a rodeo? No -- I always use the subway. I mean did you ever do ann ~zlck ~iding or did you ever break horses? NO, but the horses ze~rly broke me. NOt race ho~ses~ wild hor~es~ mustang8 -- Oh~ bucking ~unoos. B~kin~ bronohos. Were you ever in ~ round up? Sure -- l~st night, Last night? Yes - then b~cked up ~hc Natrol wagon Not that kind of a round up| A cattle rOUnd Up - after which the~ hold roping and riding contests. Oh sure, in ~exico, th~tls wh~re ! bought thi~ hat. Sombrero. Some wh~t? Somb~ero~ Nom~ h~t. I boughZ on~ fo2 my wife ~lso. Fedora? NO ~ for Len&.
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CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: GHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : 0BARLEY: BARON : OHAPLEY : BA~ON : 0HARLET : BARON : OHARLEY: BARON: 0BARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : Did Sou t~ke part in any of the contests? Sure, there ~as a wild horse there ~o one could wide° A bad egg. No - a bad horse. I mean the horse was a bad egg. Sure - but I scrambled hlm. You ~ranqu111zed hlm. ....... Could YOU wing that again? You ~bdued, and conquered this wild, obstreperous~ voclferous~ rampa~t beast. llfe is a f~nny thing~ Contl~ue, ~aron. They cs/l~d him Oscaz. They called the horse Oscar? Yes - he was so wil._~d. But you broke him. In plecea! First I got my -- my -- er - let ms see-- Wh~t did I get, Shawisy? Ilm sure I donlt know, See~ You wasnlt there! Nop I was not° What? I dontt know myself yet. It starts with a "z". It st&~ts with a "Z?" ~es. I canlt think of anything connected wi~h horses that starts w~th a IIZ". I got It!
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CHARLEY: BARON : 0~AR/JEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : C~L~RLEy : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : -13- What? Zaddle! Saddle is spelled ~th an "S". ~y goodness - since when did they change it? Well, I put the zaddle on the horse -- Didn't you have any trouble doing it? Sure -- ~ had to chase him all over the plain. Fancyl No~ plain. But I ketched him - put on the zaddle -- ju~pcd on hls back and then the fuu began• Ne started bucking. And how! Then he went into his dnnce~ He went i~to hiB da~oe? Sure - his buck dsnce. But he dldnlt unbuckle the You 8tu~k~ Like ~lle~-slleh° Mucilege. (~lue, I guess he ~/Bt have made twent~ dollarBo T~enty dollars? Twenty buoks~ ~udde~ly h~ g~ve one terrible buck • I flew out of the zaddl~ and up in the ~Ir° He throw you off, NO slr~ Net me~ You ~ald NOU f~ew out of the saddle and up in the airj 8~re -~ but I held on to hi~ neck and took hlm up with
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CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEY: HAYDN : CHARLEY: BAF~N : CHARLEY ~ BARON: CHAR2~Ey: BABON: CHARLEy: BARON : CNARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: -14- Walt! Let's get this straightened o~t. Is something bent? I should hope to tell you. Are you trying to make me believe you could be thrown out of a saddle~ grab a horse by the neck and take him up in the air with you? For the Baron that:s nothing. Well you're not going to get away with it. Who wants to get a~ay? I llke it here. Perhaps you only went up a few feet? NO, we went higher. How high up did you go? I donrt know - but it took us two ~ys to come down. Two days~ Baronj you'll have me a nervous wreck. That's fine, HOw in the world could a man and a horse stay up in the air for two days? Theirs exactly what I asked the horse. Well, to make a long story monotonous I rode him until he said, "Baron, I quit, I give up4r' The horse spoke to you? Yes. Nonsense. Horse sense| He knew I was the boss, I took him to the stable - gave him his mother -- Gays him his mother? I mean his fodder~ and put him to bed. The next day I took him out -- Please Baron~ I donlt wish to hear any more about that particular horse.
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BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARO N : CHARLEY : BARON: OHAHAEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: -15- Not a word? No - letTs farget hlm. Okay~ Sharley~ h~ 18 the forNotten horBe, The life of a cowboy must be very fascinating, You hav~ no id~a~ Every night we use to sit in the wide open places, Pardon m~ R~ron - the wide open spao~s. No sir - thes~ places was wlde opine Bitting li~tenlng to the COwB mooi~ and weld all slzg th~ cow sonB. The cow song? Whatl~ that? Whe~ the 11~oo Com~ Over the ~oun~alnTI - add listen to ~he call of the coyoukels. Coyotes. And ~he whistling of the p~alrie dogs, Whlstlin~ of the prairie do~s? Yes6 What1~ a ~ew o~ on ~G~ ~tls ~ new one on anFbcdy~ IId look out on the ~ango and see cattle lying all a~ound. ~attle lying ~ll around? Yes. You felt right at home. ~ur~ I -- if you leave and n~v~r come baok it'll bc too ~0o~. ~ometlmeg wer~ go to oowboy d~nceso Ill1 b~t tha~ war a lot of fun. You s~id it -- they Nave R~zg~ for dancing - ~ee I got this medal for too danolng. FOB to~ dancing?
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BAP~N : CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY~ BA~ON : CHARLEy: BARON ONARLEy : BARON: CHAP~LEY : BARON: CHARLEY ~ BARON : ONARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: aHARLEY : BARON: CHA]~LEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY : BARON : CHAPLLEY : -18- Yes I danced with a glrl and stepped on her toes more times thananybody else. Nice medal. Nloe glzl - and from her feller ~ got a belt, A belt? Right an the nOS~o He struck you? Yes - and then he dld something that made me see red~ What was that~ He socked me right in the face w±th a b~g ~Qma~oe. I b~t yo~ were r~do l~ad! I was so mad I started shootlng~ 8hootlng~ Yes - first I Bhut ~wo dollars - he faded me and I made the pass° Here: HOld on~ th~I~ ~ trap g~me. llm gottl~g my 8hootlng mixed ~P. Well what happened? I ~tartod shooting - but I couldn't hit him. Why not? H~ wouldn't ~tand still, Then he ~tarted shootlng at mot He started shootlng at you. Did he hit you? No -- h~ didnlt stand 8till for me SO Just for spite I dldnlt ~tand ~till for him° How dld it finlsh? I hit hi~ a wallop and then we patoh~d things up. You patched things up? Y~s ~ hc patched hlB eye and I patched my nose. I ~ay~ B~ro~ - were yo~ ever ~a~ght I~ a stan~ede~
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BAF~N : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : S~ARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: -l?- No sir -- I never go i~ those kind of pl~c~s. Why Baron - surely you know what a stampede is? Sure I know~ Well, what is it? I~ts a -- kind of -- ~hat Is -- Itls a place - Itls a herd of c~ttle in a wild~ panlcy headlong flight. You took the words right out of my mouth. Were you ever in One? In one? - I started ons! You started ~ stampede? Yes sir. How? Well one night I was out on the range when a bull walked up and saidI "Hello, Baron" and I said -- gold on! A little while ago you were talking to a horse - now youlre talklng ~o a bull. Sure - why not? He was a nloe bull. I donlt believe it. So it has come to this - you dontt believe me. NO~ and nothing can convince me that you were speaking wlth a bull. WaS yOU theze~ Sharley? ~0~ I w~s hot. 80 i was sDeakln~ wlth a bull] Ridiculous[ Yes? Well, if you w~s there you could speak to him too. ~e? Speak to a bull? Are NOn erazy~ No sir - this bull was a cop. A policeman[
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BARON: OB~RLEy: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : OHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CBARLEY: BARON: -18- Sure - a bull|~ Well, Baroni ~ou put a fast one over on me that time. The I~ro~ is a fast putt~rr What about the sta~ede you started? If I tell you about it will you believe it? Yes BAron I will - for a change I~ll believe anything you tell me regardless of how absurd or implauslhle it r~y B~e~. (LAUGH) Then there:s no use telling it. Besides got to attend a telegraph wedding. A telegraph wedding? Yes, a friend o8 mine named Cable is marrying a girl named Postal in California. A friend named Cable and a glrl named Postal ar~ being united iu marrlage out in California? Yop. I se~, and l¢~y is that a telegraph wedding? Because ...... (I~U~H) Pecaus~ wh&t~ ItTs ~ w~stern union. On3 B~on! Oh, Shr ~ley[ (END OF PART If) WILLIAM K. WELLS/chilleen 1/18/33
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with ihe wodd's finest Dance Orchestras and Famous LUCKY STRIKE Lhfills rUeSDAX- TSUSSDAr J • "LTT~KTE~ SATURDAYI0tollP.M. ~ ~/ ,,,,v ,. ,~ WEAF~ASSOCIATED ~ ~ r~ ~e CHARACTER SATURDAy~ JANUARY 21, 1933 ( MUSICAL SIGNATURE) HOWARD CLANEY : Ladies and gontlemen~ the LUCKY STRIKE Hour presented for you~ pleaBure by the ~nuf~ctu~ers of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes ~- 81x~y ~oder~ ~i~tes wlth the ~orldls finest danc~ orcheB~ras~ and ~he famous LUOKY STRIKE thr~ll~ ........ Tonight fro~ Ne~ York, weIll hear Gladys P~ce &nd Robert Hallic~Ay, o~r ron~n~ic slngers of musloal comedy smd operetta Bongs and from 0hlo~o~ ~he one and only Ben Bernie....k~o~rn everywher~ as th~ old k~estro.~,..~o lctls travel ~o the shores of Lak~ ~Ichi~n and into the College Inn wher~ Bernie ~Igns 8~preme. ON W~TH THE DANCE BEN ~E~NIE...(WHISTL~)....OKAY CHICAGO!
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-2- (BEN BERNIE INTRODUCES FIRST ~USIC ~OUP) ( ) ( ) ( > ( ) C ) BEN BEP~IE : HOWARD GLANE~ : Here goes the haglc Garpet; (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW yOREI. Thank you. Ben--take ~ bow for the ~ppla~se of all ou~ te~ million listeners..... HereI~ an in~erestlng experiment -- ~ry i~! Hold a LUCKY STRIKE In your hand, then shut your eyes. Boll tha~ LUCKY b~ck and fo~h in your finge~s° Notlce how firm and well-nmde it is~- full weight. Notice how solidly the tobacco is packed° Run your finger down outside of the cigarette from tip t~ tip. See how smooth and even that little tube is -- there are no bumps ~w no sharp, ragged ohunk~ of stem -- just finely shredded, f~agrant tobacco. Now -- light that LUCKY -- and as you smok~ it see how ~venly it burns, how f~rmly the ash holds and what a smooth fine textured white ~sh it 18. Tba~ white ash, my frlendsp is the one grea% 81gn of the finest tobacco quality -- and millions appreclate how well that ash hold8 %ogeth~ and resists the ~endency to flake and drop on clothes. LUCKIES~t fine tobacco quality is born of the cholces~ Turkish and domestic tobacco8 and made extra flavorful and mellow-mild by ~h~t famous "TOASTING" Process. I~I~ "TOASTING" %hat makes LUCKIES ~he bette~ cigarette -- ~8 superlative in quality ~s it is in value~ for your tobaeconlst now offers yo~ two packs of LUC~I~S for only twenty-five cents.
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-3- HOWARD CLANEY : NOW GladFs Rice and Robert Hallidap are ready %o give us in eonU, a few ~omantIc gllmpses Of the ~heatreJ Perhaps you re~emb~r ~he show ITGolng i~)I~ -~ it was produced In iSl? ~nd brought forth the lilting melody that Miss Rise and Mr. Hal!Iday will sing first -- IIKISS MEEt• Then we go bask ~ few pears to IIFr~squltarl and the Franz Leh~r song~ IiMy LITTLE NEST.~t From one of the greatest P~mberg operettas Mr~ H~llldaU h~s chosen ~he BonE for which the show was named~ IITRD DESERT ~G.I~ Dr. g~tz~nrs orchest~ is setting the soene ~8 ~he golden chords op~n th~ curtain8 on Gladys Rice and Robert H~llldzy. (RISE AND HALLIDAY SING -- WK~SS ME ~'MY LITTLE NEST~ E'TF~ DESERT SONG'~) HSWA P~D OLANEY : ~ow weI~e westward boDnd agaln....to the d~nce fl~o~ of the ~ollege Inn ~nd the music and chatter of Ben B~rnle, the old ~est~o° So -- ON ~ITH TME ~ANCE,...(WH~STLE~...OKAY CHI~AGO~ (BEN BERNIE INTRODUCES SEOOND MUSIC GROUP) ) ) (. ) (. ) (. ) BEN BERNIE: The k~glc CarDer starts back to the Pilot. (WHISTLE) O[AY N~I ~OR/~
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-4- HOWA_ ~ CLANEY: Today, in every clty~ ~t&te and natloi~l government rhone ~11 who llnd~rBt~nd s~lle~ ~o~d~ld ~:/d practical eoQl~omy~ a~e the great leaders. And thatts ax~c~ly why that great man of llllnols, ~elvin A. Tr~plor~ is look~d ~pon today ~s on~ of A~rioals outst~aud~ cltlze~8o Ni~ position as President of the First Natlon~l Bank of 0hlcago w&s &chle~ed by const~nt~ pains~klng p~ctice of the ~rinoiples of s~ne e~ono~y -~ beglr~u~ng when he w~s ~ b~refoot boX ~n the h~lls of Kentucky -- prlncip1es he put into effec~ when he w~ ~ rough-and-ready bank clerk in ~ sm~ll Tex~ ~irn, Today, fin~nolal ~utho~ities in ~ashington consult ~iv~n A~ Traylor re~/larly on money matters -- a~d th~t~ ~hy we h~ve j~st sent him this t ele~ram~ MELVIN A. TRAYLON~ PRESIDENT FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF ~HICAGO CHICAGO, ILLINOIS SYR: YOU KNOW E~0NOMY FRE~ TRE GROUND [DP AND THE~FORE I NNOW YON WILL BE INTERESTED IN ~ERTIFIED CREMOI$ E00N01~Y PLAN TO GIVE EVERy ~ICAN S~ONER ~0RE FOR HIS ~ONEY.~..THI~ F~NE C~GAN IN NOW OFFERED AT FIVE NENTN NTRAIGHT~ T-~N FOR TEN CENTN~ GIVING EVERY I~AN A REAL HIGH QUALITY ~IGAR AT SUCH ~MELL 00ST THAT HE CAN PRACTICE REA~ ECON01~Y ANN BTILL ENJOY A FINE CIGAR~ I~4ACULATELY CLEAN m THE ONLY ~IGAR FINISF~D ~NER GLANN. •. ~AN YON WOULD EXPECT NUON GREAT VALUE IN BEING ACCHAIII~ED BY ~ILLIONS OF F~/OMERS~ .. ~BEST W~$HEN TO YOU AND TO ALL FRIENDS IN NNI~AG0. (SIGNED) VINCENT NIGGIO VICE~PRE$1DENT IN CHARGE OF NALEN THE AMERICAN TOBACCO COI(PARY (fiR. NLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-5- HOWARD CL;d~EY: (CONTINUES) Thls~ ladies and gentlemen~ is the t~l~gram that has been sent from this ~tudlo to ~elvin A. Traylor3 President of the First National Bank of Chicago, In it we have giva~ the news that has made millions of cigar smokers happy -- the fact that Oertifled Credo is now five cents s~r~Ight -- three for ten osnts. ........................... STATION BREAK ........................... HOWARD CLANEY: The Magic aarpet is rushing us off to Chicago -- look below -- thatls Lake Michigan -- therets Grant Park -- and over there are buildings of the great new Worldrs Fair -- and herets the College Inn - so thru the door we go -- to land right at Ben Bernle f s feet. ON WITH THE DANCE BEN BE~IE....(WHISTLE)...OKAY CHICAGO! (BEN BERNIE INTRODUCES THIRD MUSIC G~OUP) ) ) ) ) ) BEN BERNIE: Back to the man ~t the controls speeds the M~gio Carpet. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YO~
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-8- HOWABD SLANGY : As the ~agic Carpet settles down gently on the eastern seaboard and the strains of "R0~ANCE" fill the air. Gladys B/co and ~bert Halllday again step into the spotlight. Now let Four imagination carry you across the sea -- to a Hungarlan wayside Inn as ~iss Rice and ~r. Halllday sing "YOUiRE IN LOVE" from the Operetta "gypsy Love." Then we turn to a show which was the hlt of Broadw~y some seven years a~o - "gunny", -- and take frog the score the delightful son£, "TWO LITTLE BLUE BIRDS." The third number is one written by Victor Herbert from the fan,cue showp "The Red Mill"....Itls called 'I~ECAUSE YOUIP~ YOU." So those are the songs -- and here are the minstrel and his maid -- (RICE AND HALLIDAY SING: "YOU'RE IN LOVE. '~TWO LITTLE BLUE BIRDS" "BECAUSE YOUIRE YOU") HOWARD CLANEY: Th~nk you Miss Rice and thanks Mr. Halliday -- and here's a word to all those men and wom~n who have enjoyed songs of cur rome/file couple...,Itls not mere accident that ~o many~ many smartly gowned women smoke LugK-f STRIKES. There are some good r~asons for it. In the first place LUCKIBS have a finer flavor, ~ ~ore dellcIo~s taste~ a ~nlg~e mildness. But hotels an additional re~so~ ~hat is equally Important, These fa~tldious women smoke LUCKIE~ because they have discovered that LUOT~IE8 leave a firm, whit~ ash that resists the tendency to flake and drop on clothes. There are many reasons for this even-burnln~ quality. For on~ thlng~ we use only the ~ost e xp~nsive ~ th~ finest of do~stie and Turkish ~ob~cccs, (~R, CLAYEY OONTINUEg ON NEXT pAGE)
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-7- HOWARD C~NEY: (CONTIN~S) Then~ we to~st them~ whioh m~ans wc p~rify them, so that they will burn evev~u~, with a pure whlte a~h. And so~ when you light a LUCKY you are sure of getting ~ ~id, mellow, even-buzning s~ke....you ar~ sure that the ash will be whitQ --~ th~ ~i~ of tobacco p~rity....you are sure that the aBh will be firm -- a grea% pro~eotlo~ ~o olot~Ir~. Every ~F tho~s&~d6 of wom~ ~d me~ too, are discovering this fact about LUCKY STRIKE~S superloritF~ and are te~llng their friends &bout it -- ~ust as they are discovering and telllng their friends about LUCKY STRIKE'S great new 1933 value -- two packages of the worldls finest ci~rettes -- LUCKY STRIKE -- two packages for ~wenty-fiv~ cent~, (BEN BEF~IE LEADS INTO FOURTH ~USIC GROUP) 3 ) J J BEN BE~IE: We shoot the ~aglc Carpet back to the Pilot, (WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YOPX~
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-8- I. HOWARD SLANEY: Thank you ~uld~good night Ben.,~That brlngB us to the close of another LUCKY STRIKE Hour ladies and gentlemen~ but before saFing goodnlght~ may we remind you that on Tueshay we wLll preBent "THE SHE~ALE BANK ROBBERY" -- another actual case from the files of the United Sta~es Bureau of Investigation, Department of Justice, at ~ashinHtont D.O. The dg~ce music fo~ ~hat evening will be ~ished by Te~ Weems and his Orchestrar SO until Tuesday then -- gooCaight. (~USISAL SIGNATURE) THIS PROGRAM HAS COME TO YOU FROH NEW YONK 6TTY AND CHICAGO, ILLIEOIS THROUGH THE FACILITIES OF TR~ NATIONAL BROADOASTING 00~PANY , AGENUT/chilleen ~121133
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's [inesi Dance Orchestras and Famous LUCKY STRIXE thrills SDA - ro sDAY • "L*,,"KIE SATURDAY 10 to 11 P.M. ~ d J V ~ O V4"F.AF.,~ASSOCIATED _ ~ ~ b~,e CHARACTER TUESDAY, JANUARY 24, 1935 ( I,~SICAL SIGNATURE) HOWARD CLANEY : Ladies and gc~tlem~n, the LUCKY STRIKE Hour prcsent~d for your pl~as~r~ by th~ manufacturers of LUCKY STRIKE Ci~rette~ - ~ixty modern mln~t~s with the world's finest d~nce orohes~ae~ and th~ fa~us LUOKY $TRI~E thrills ...... In thc I~a~Ic Carpet Theatre tonight~ we brlng you vivid dzamatlzatlon of an actual case taken from the files of the United States ~ure~u of Investigation, Department of Justice at Waehin~ton, D°C~ This case is oalled ~ITHE CBERRYVALE BANK ROBBERY," and we can promlse you pl~nty of ox~itement when our drama get~ ~ndor way. But first Ted Weems a~id his Orchestra from ~h~ Hot~l Pe~nsylvani& have muslc for yo~ ears and rhythm for ~our toes so -- ON WITH T~E DANCE TED W~EI~B°..(WHISTLEI....OKAY A~ERICAI
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-2- TED WEEES~ Good evening everybody, this is Ted Weems. play first -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) TED WEEMS: HOWARD CLANEY: Toni~h~ we Here goes the h~glc Carpet back to the Pilot, (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORD~ Thanks Ted~ those tunes were good news for dancing feet....Did you see this bit of news In ths papers? -- the American people smoked twsnty million more cigarettes last month tl~n they did a year ago. That shows the trend of smokers everywhere -- and more and more people are discovering the enjoyment of that mild clgarstte -- LUCKY STRIKE. Her~'s another significant fact - more and more smokers arc discovering that LUCKIEE burn with a long white ash -- without coarse stems or chunky particles. Tobacco experts recognize that firm white ash as the sign of flnet even- burning tobaoco...uu~ tobacco -- patiently blended and given the benefit of that modern purifying process - "ITig TOASTED." IT is "TOASTI~TG" that gives you tobaccos that are mellow-mild ~nd flavorful... tobaccos that burn evenly and leave that firm white ash which is typical of LUCKIES only. Ladies ~nd gentlemenj in that firmly rolled~ full weight LUCKY STRIKE clgarette you will find tobaccos at their best -- and he~e's cigarette val~e at its best -~ so LUCK~EB ars now thirteen cents a package o~ two packages for twenty-flve oents~
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HOWARD aLANEY : Tow wetre i~ the ~agIc Carpet Theatre~..qthe curtain ±~ rising on the first act of "T~ gHERRYVALE BANK ROBBERY11 - a r~al oase taken from the fi1~ of the Rz~ed State~ B~r~au of Investlgatlon~ Dep~rtment af Ju~tlca at Washington~ D.Co Evcz now inst~dctlons are flashing through the a~r from headquarters and Speoi~l A~ez~ Fi~e is waltlzg to receive them. (WHIBTLE) ON WITH T~ SHOW! (FIRST PART -- liTHE CHERRYVALE BARK ROBBERY")
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-4- HOWARD CLANEY; So the first act ~nds~ The two thieving bankers seem to have m~de & clean steal ~ but why has Sheriff C~rfleld called In Federal A~snt Eranklyn~ Is this one of those perfsct crimes - or has the Sheriff discovered a flaw~ We'll flnd out a little later in the PrOE~am ~ and while the scenes are being shlftcd fo~ the flnal act, letts flash to Ted WeemsI who is a~l re~dy ~o s%art the music. ON WITH THE DANCE.. .(~HISTLE~ . . . .OKAy A~ERICA! TED WEE~$: The dancing continues wt~h -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) TED WEE~S: Carpet. B~ck to the ~t~n at the controls spoeds the ~ag~o (WHISTLE) OKAy NEW YO~<!
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-5~ HOWARD CLANEY : tithe Ide~l Al~leric&n soldier" -- ~ith th~se words Theodore Roosevelt once brlofly characterized that fearless l~ader of men, ~jor General Smedl~y D. Butlor, United States ~rlne Corp~. General Butler co[m~nded the famous camp at Bres% in France during, the ~ar, and Is the only general offioer to reoeive two 0on~resslonal Medals of Honor. He is know~% round the ~orld for hi6 darln~ and for his blunt, outspoken statement of the truth. In 19~4~ when he was ~Iven leave from the ~%rines to become Diroctor of Public Safety in Philadelphia~ he fought so ably and fearlessly that he h~d gangsters and bootleggers on the run within six months. Because hel~ a i~an of daring.,..bee~use he believss in blt~nt s%ate~nt of faets~ ~,~ hav~ just dispatched th~ following t~legram to his home -- GENERAL SI~EDLEY D. ~UTLER NEWTOWN S~UARE, PENNSYLVANIA SIR: BECAUSE YOU $TA~D FOR A~TION.. ,FOR DARING AND FOR BLUNT OUTSPOKEN STATEI4ENT OF FACT I ~NOW YOU WILL BE FIRST TO APPLAUD D.~RI~G IN BUSINES~ AND F~A~ STATE,lENT OF TRUTH ABO!~T Ai~Y AND ALL PRODUCTS ..... WE HAVE STATED BLUNTLY T~4AT A FINE CIGAR NF~D ~0T BE OF ~REAT COST AND WE HA~ DARED TO PROVE THIS FACT BY OFFERING CERTIFIED CREW0 AT UNIQU~ PRICZ OF FIVE CENTS STRAIGHT T.~LqEE FOR TFN CE~TS ..... AS RESULT OF THIS D~RING FRONTAL ATTACK 0~" HIGH COST OF GOOD CIgArS CERTIFIED CF~,~0 ~L~S WON ~0RE ~ILLI0~S ~F S~OEERS THAN ANY CIGAR IN COUNTRY....S~OKERS APPRCCIATE FI~E 50NG FILLER QUALITY OF CERTIFIED CREL~ AND I~3~CUL~TE CLEANLINESS OF 0~LY CIGAR FINISHED UNDER GLASS ..... WITH WAP~ST PERSONAL ~EG~RDS (SIG~;ED) VINCENT RIGGI0 VICE-PRESIDE!!T IN CHARGE OF SALES TP~ A~ERICAN TOBAC~O ~O~PANY (~R. CLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-S- HOWARD CLANEY~ (CONTINUES) Ladies and gentlemen~ that telegram is now on its way -- it will be received in a few mlnutcs by General 8m~dley D. Butler. In it are the facts that have bzou~ht good news to millions Of smokers -- Certified CremeI that fine ioug-fille~ oigarj is now five cents straight, three for ten cents. ........................... STATION BREAK ......................... HOWARD OL~NEY: There's still time for & few tunes before the curtain rises on the second act of our dram~. Ted Weems~ fiddlers have their bows set - and there's melody in the air - so letls swing into It. ON WITH TRE DANCE TED....(WHIgTLE)...OKAY ARERIOA! TED WEEMS: Everybody dance to -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) TED WEEKS: The Magic Carpet starts on its way. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORE!
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HOWARD 0LANEY: And now for the concluding act of '~THE CP~RRY~ALE BANK ROBBERY" - a dramatization based on a real case in the files of the United States Bureau of Investigation at Washington, D,C. 0osgrove and Thompson - president and cashier of the Cherryvale Bank. hit upon the novel idea of hiring the gangster, Lou Fsntont and his two henchmen to rob their bankI and so cover up the shortage in thslr acootunts. The robbery goes off without a hltoh, but Fenton~s two pals are killed in an atter:~t to hold up another bank later that same day, Only Fenton is left - and Cosgrove and Thompson feel much relieved. But they fail to reckon with Sheriff Garfield who has summoned Federal Agent Franklyn to Cherryvale. And now, Special Agent Five is waiting a~aln to receive orders from headquarters as the curtain rises on th~ final act. (WHISTLE) ON WITH THE SHOW~ (SEUOND PART -- ~'THE CH~P~YVALE BANK ROBBERY';)
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-8- BOWARD CLAgEY: Thstls the oomplete story....the Federal Agents do their work well~ as both Cosgrove and Thompson dlscov~red to ~helr misfortune. Fenton~ the only survivor of the bandits3 also was captured and seut to the Federal penlten~ia~y. Next Tuesday n~ght wcIll offer a dr~matlz~tlon Of anothe~ case from the filos of the Uui~ed States Burea~ of Investigation. But right now the program oalls for a dance so welre going to drop in on Ted Weems and his boys from the Hotsl Peunsylvanla, ON WITH T~ DANCE TED WEE~S....(~HISTLE)...OKAY A~RICA~ TED WEEKS: Without further ado we play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) TED WEEMS: The I~aglc Carpet is flying high. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK!
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HOWARD CLANEY: Thank you~ Ted...and hare is the th~nks Of every passenger on the haglc C~rpct ..... At midnight last night the great liner Augustus ~teame~ OUt of New Yor~ harbor for the West Indles~ c~rrying hundredB of h~ppy passenger8 with truDks f~ll of gay, summery olothe~ ....... white frooks and flannel trousers all ready for the enjoyment of ~ild~ sunny d~ys....of s~oking a mild, fragrant L~OEY STRIKE Ci~rette under a troplo sky. Women p&rtlc~larlyj wlth their g&y frocks and filmy evening go~u%s~ ~re al~ys grateful to DUCHIES, fo~ they have found that DUCKY $TRIKE I$ firm white ash re~i~ts ~he tendency to flake. That even~b~nlug, firm ~hite ash 18 the n~rk of the finest ~obacco quality -~ and DU~KIE~ are ~de of the finest of l~n~ silky s~rand~ ~f choIc~ ~obacco~ firmly rolled -- no ooarse stems or chunky particles. That's why DUCKIES b~rn evenly. DUCEY STRIEEI$ flne tobacco~ ar~ i~ellow-~ild a~d pure because theylre rITOASTEDII -- that ~xcl~ive puri~ylng process wh~chn~ak~ DU~KY STRIKE so doubly appreciated by f&stldlou~ women who d~t~t finger~staln. Light a LUCKY and enjoy pure smoking pleasure ~ ples~ure that will be Increased by the knowledge that !Tou c~n no~ obtain ~ package of LU~KIES for th~rte~ cent~ o~ two paokagos for t~enty-~ive cents. Tcd We~ms and his band will contlnu~ in a ~o~ent .... but let ~e re~ind you f~r~t that o~ Thursday night Jack Pear~ ~ better known a~ the Baron ~hausen - will take Fou into his confidence ~ai~ ~h~n he r~late~ some more o~ h~s fantastic adventures. Sharing the progra~ with the Baron will be the ~ver-popular G~orge Olden. But letI~ got b~ck to Ted Weem~...hels r~isin~ Dis ~aton now~ and w~l~ on o~ ~y~ ON WITH THE DANCE TED...,(WHISTLE)...~OKAy A~iER~CA~
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play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) TED WBEZS: HCWARD SLANEY: ~0- As the ~agic Carpet drops lightly at our feet wc Get ready pilot~ We're sendin~ back the }~gio Carpet (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK~ And sn ladies and gen~lenen~ this LUCKY STRIKE Hour draws to a close. Re~e~fo~r...,Jack Pearl and George Olscu wilL be w&itin~ to ~reet you on ThursdaF niKht and until then -!goodr~i~ht~ (MUSICAL $1GNATU~) This is the Natio~! Broadcasting Company.
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SPECIAL AGENT FIVE z~ tiTHE C~EBRYVALE BANX ROBBERY" PARTS I AND II ~-OR LUCRY STRIKE HOUR JANUARY B4, IS~3
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~rTHE Ch~RRYVALE BAEK ROBEENY" OFFICIAL STGR/ Bi G,;ORCE P. ZlihtER DRAi~A TI ZA T ~07~ PY FINIS FARR AND GREGORY WILLIA~SON OA$T : THOMPSON COEGF~FE LOU FENTON "SHINER" LONG "ALABAMA" MISS b~RLEY SF~RIFF GARFIELD AGENT FRANKLIN AGENT THATER JOE KOP~SLOON NOTE: Thls property is duly protected by copyright and maF not be used in ~ny manner withou~ the authority of tee owner thereof. It is authorizod for broadoaE~ over National Broadcasting Compan!y, Inc. f~oilltles only on the date first indicated herein.
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SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISOD~ ~III ~THE CKEBRYVALE BANK ROBBERY" PART I (WIRELESS BUZZ) VOICE: CLEAR THE WIRES.... ,CLEAR THE WIRES.....SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ..... SPECIAL AGEST FIVE ..... THROUGH COURTESY OF J. EDGAR HOOVER ..... DIHE~TOR UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... DEPARTmeNT OF JUSTICE ..... YOU ARE PER~ITTED TO RELATE AUTHENTICATED STORY "THE CHERRYVALE BAICK ROBBERY" ...... BASED ON CASE 29 - 1474 ...... FILES OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION .... DEPARTMENT 0F JUSTICE, WASHTNGTCN, D.C ..... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE, PROCEED .................................... (WyRELESS BUZZ) SPECIAL AGENT FIVE: Special Agent Five $&lking ..... the store of "The Chezryvale Bank Robberyr' ..... real people ..... zeal plaoes.....real clues.,..a real case...,,For obvious reasons, fictitious names are used throughout ....... Cur case bcgins in the office of the Presiden~ of the Central National Nank.....&t Cherryv~le, Kansas.. ............. (WZHELESB BUZZ)
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COSGP~VE : THOMPSON : COSGROVE: THOI4PSON: COSGROVE: THO~/PSON: COSGROVE: TRO~8ON: COSGROVE: THOMPSON: COB@ROVE: THOMPSON: COSGRO%rE: TKOMPSOE: COSGROVE: THOIAPSON: COSGROVE: THOI~SCN: Tho~mson? Come in, ooms in. (OFF) Yes, slr. (EOOR 18 CLOSED) (FADES IE) What did you want to see me about, ~r. CosFrove? Bit down. [ 3! te]i ¢OU. (NERVOUS) !{~F~ szr, I, ah -- (CUTS HI~ OFF ~RISKLY) One minute. Thompson, you've be~n stealing fro~ the bank. Uh...no, sir~ you must be wrong. Ohj no, llm not. This b~nk is small enough for the prcsldent to have time to look over his cashier's ~OOOLSIZB. Bat -- Of course, you might have gone on for years without being caught. I just happened to strike the trail yesterday ~fternoon. Now how much is it? How Rmoh do you owe the Central National? If I -- if I make a clean brexst of it will you go e~By on me? Come on, now -- how sn~ch did you take? Only -- fifteen humdred dollars. F~fteen htmdred, eh? You sure thatls all? Yes, elf -- and Itll put ~t all back. I was going to anyhow, honestly I was. Put it back -- donlt be absurd. Then yOU won't have any mercy -- ~ercy! (Ch~JOELES) Listen, don't you think it's about time for you to ~v~ke up? Wh~t do you moan, sir?
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COSG~VE: THG~IPSON: 00 S GR0 VE: THOMPSON: 00SGBO~: THOI4PSON: COSGP~DVE: THOMPSON : COSGROVE: THOMPSON : COSGRO~: TH0~PSON: COSGHOVE : -3- You donJt think my adcounts will ~tand up under examination, do you? You the President? (CALLOUSLY) Yes, of course. From now on weJve got to have each otherrs confidence, Thompson. But ~r. Cosgrove -- Sit do~n~ Therers nothing to be nervous about. I'm your friend, Tholr©son! I won't hurt you. Why~ we're going to be as thick as a couple -- (CHUCKLES) of thievesl I guess youlre right. Certainly l~m right. This bank is going to be robbed- thoroughly robbed~ How? I'm going to hire it done. Itrs the only way to keep the deDositors from finding out what You and I have taken, (IN AM~ZEIy~NT) But, sir, s-- I was thinking of exposing you, Thompson. but unfortunately you havsn't taken enough to account for the total shortage, So the only thing to do is stage a fake robbcry and include what we've stolen in the lost, Whorll -- who'll do it for you? I'ii show you. (FADES) in the inner office. (OPENS DOOR) Come in, Mr. Fenton. (CLOBE8 DOOR) (FADES IN) Thompson[ There's a gentleman waiting YouIll want to meet my cashier - Mr.
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FENTON: THOi~SCN: FENTCN: COSGROVE: THOMPSON: COSGROVE: THCI&PSON: COSGBDVE: FENTON: COSGI~OVE: FENTOE: THOMSON: FENTON: C08GI%OVE: FENTON: COSGROVE: -4- (FADES IN) Sure thing, ~r. Cosgrove -- How arc yah, pal? Hr. Cosgrove -- in the b~nkj sir, this ~n~ Why -- Yo~Ive hear~ about mo~ eh? Come on, Tho~eon~ wetre &ll ~ogether now. This is LO~ Fenton, bank robber &nd leader of %he Black ~ask gang. Oh~ my god--- ~r. Fenton has d~cid~d itls easier -- and safer -- to rob banK8 when the owners are in on tho deal. Hels going to drop round tomorrow with t~o of his frisnds, Thompsoz. Tomorrow~ Wha$ time? When ou~ bookke~per~ ~iss Harley, is out a~ lunch. 8he might punch the burglar al~rm~ and that wouldn't do, A few mlnutes after %welv8 olclock noon would be abou~ right, Fenton, O.K. - I'll bring two boys~ "Shinerrl Long and ~Al&b~ma." And theyrll know wh~t to do~ of course? 8urn. S~re~ Thero ~ thera wonlt be any shootlngw ~ill ~here? ~ot ~nless somebody trles to stop us, Thompson° Tell th~ boys ~o pick up everything tha~Is loose. Well1 tak~ care of tho rest, They're hiding up outside of towm. I'll go fetch 'em now in the flivver. All right; we~ll be ~xpccting you - ~t lunch ~Ime
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SO Lq~D INTERLUDE.~ THOMPSON: MISS H~RLEY: THOMPSON: XISE HARLEY: COSGROVE: MISS HARLEY: COSGROVE: I~ISSHARLEY: TRO~PSON: EISS HARLEY: F~NTON: ~ISS HARLEY: FENTON: -E- l. FLIVEER ENGINE ~NSSES OVER ROAD AND OUT OF EARSHOT S. CLOOK STRIKES TWELVE. S. OFFICE BAaKGBOUND - PJEfT}~gIC PUNCHING OF ADDING I IACHINE. Ah....arenlt you going out to lunsh ~ow, li~ss HArley? (NACHINE NOISE STOPS AS SHE ANSWERS) ~{ave to run these cheeks through first, lit. Thompson. Well, ysu shouldntt wsrk in the lua%ch hour~ ~Iss HArley. We donrt expect you to do that° Oh, thatls quite all right, Tit. Thompsou*...letrs see... thatJs. .... (PUNCHES MACHINE) (FADES IN* INGRATIATING) Nhatls this, still at the adding machine, Kiss Harley? Donlt you ever eat l~chT (~'~CHINE CONTINUES) Just as soon as I get this total .... (}~ACHINE STOPS AS ~{ISS HARLEY SCREAMS) Why -- wharfs the ~atter~ Those men coming in the door. Itrs a hold-up, sir drop on the floor, ~iss Harley~ fill do no such thin~. (FADING IN) All rlght. CO~ onj boys -- gather up this coin! ~hoylro wearlng .masks~ Black masks. Come on, Alabar~ -~ move quick there~ Get these people covercd~
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ALABAMA : FENTON: 8HINERi FENTON: SHINER: FENTON: COSGRO~: THOLiPSON: MISS HARLEY: COSGROVE: MISS HAP~Ey: COSGROVE: FNNTON: MISS HARLEy: FNNTON: COSGROVE: SHINER: COSGROVE: ALABAMA: FENTON: SHINER: FENTON: ALAHAHA: -S- Get lem up thah~ folks -- hold rem up l)m movln~ hlghl Shiner -- Yeah? Freeze onto that dough~ Theso bags, Lou? Yeah, pack lem in that poke -- mover move~ Theylrc dosperate Men, Thompson ....hold quiet or theyBll shoot. Yes, sir -- th~ylve got the drop On us. ..... Mr. Oosg~ove.,... Yes, yes. What is 1~? The burHl~r alarmj under the window -- ¢ouldunlt we -- Don't risk it. Donlt .... (QUICK) What are you talking about there~ You...you...~hlef! I'm going to -- (BUMPS INTO OOSGROVE) Oh, ~ro ~osgrove I bumped into you~ NeeR ~ay from that burgl~r ~larm, sister~ You mu~tn!~ take the oh~noeI Miss Harley~ All set, boss. Careful, Miss HArley. B~ck up to the dot you fellehso I'll keep you Covered. That's right, Alahama. You hold ~ cannon on thl8 crowd. (FADES) Come on, Shiner. (FADES) Right with you, bo~s. (OFF) All right, Alabama -~ come ~long -~ run! (FADING RAPIDLY) I'm a-comin~ (DOOR S~AiX~ED)
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liDS HARLEy: 00BGBOVE: THOMSON: ~18S HARLEY: SOUND INTERLUDE: SHERIFF GARFIELD: COSGR0~rE: GARFIELD: COSGROVE: THOMPSON: GARFIELD: COSGROVE: GARFIELD: COSGROVE: -V- Well! Of all thlngs--- Hurry, Thompson~ hurry - we must -- we must do somethlngl TMe Gontral Na~ion&l has been robbed, WQ mus~ do something -- Good lordl Sit do~, sir -- here, Miss Harley -- Net him a NlaSs of water -- IIii -- IIll telephone for the sheriff, (MOTOR HORN OUTSIDE) Yes, quiok, ~r° Tho~oson -- quickly. There ~hey go| I. AUTOMOBILE TF~%RING ALONG OVER ROUGH ROAD. 2. BANK DAOKGROUND. And you Say there was just the three of you here in the b&nk when it happenedj ~r. Cosgrove. Th&tls right~ Sheriff. Where~s the young lady -- the bookkeeper? I s~nt her home~ Sheriff C~rfield. ~he was all in. F~om th~ ~xcite~t~ you ss~. I reckon there was plenty of excitement while those b&ndlts were solng through the sash. Speaking of that, Sheriff, Ilve a partial list hero Of what they carried off. First, in Liberty Bonds, there was -- Just a mlnute, please, ~r. Cosgrove. lld llke to have some description of the robbers, flzet. (SESI~S VERY FHah/) ~e]l l~d ~ay the me~ were -- were just ~ height~ Sheriff. What would you say, Thei~pson?
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THOMPSON: GARFIELD: THO~PBOg: 00SGBOVE: GAR21ELD: OOSGROVE: GARFIELD: THOLIPS0~: GARFIgLD: GARFIELD: COSGROVE: Yes~ lid say average. Of course Zhe thing thHt struck ~e ~s -- the ~sks. All im~skedI oh? How m~y men were the~e? There were just three -- ~oI no, could~It really say, we were so exoited~ Sheriff. There might nave been two9 there might have bee~ more. Now, as to ths b~nkls losses: this list will show -- Hold on a minu~e~ ~r. Cosgrove. If there was only two men they wonlt be ~ble to put up much of a fight. Th~ &larmls out to ~top te~ now, a~d iuy g~/ess 18 th~ylve headed for the Oklaho~ border, go ~ m~ be able to check those Losses with the robber~I loot~ some time before sLu%down today, (DIGNIFIED) I know what was taken, Sheriff. AS prosldent of this "Dank it*s my duty to begin checking up the losses bofore the robbers arc caught. If they ar~ caught at akl. Of course, of course~ I'm not donyir~ that, Nr. Cosgrove. (AS THOUGH LOOKING ROUND) Say, which way did the robbers come into th~ office enclosure here? Right through that swinging gate. I see. And Zhey ran out right through the side door here? (THOk~PSON GRUNTS AgSENT) Too r~ch of a hurry even to lock you gentlemen in the vaulZ~ I suppoB¢? (SHARPLY) What do you moan?
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GARFIELD: COSGROVE: GARFIELD: COSGROVE: THOMPSON: GARFIELD: THOMPSON: GARFIELD: COSGROVE: GARFIELD: COSGPOVE: GARFIELD: THOI,~SON: GARFIELD: THOI4PSON: GARFIELD: COSGROVE: ~RFIELD: -9- Thatrs what they uS~IIy dO. YO~ gentlemen ~re lucky. ~ot ~ch air in ~haZ vault, is there? go. We escaped that, anyhow. Hmm. Well3 *t ~wonlt hurt to have ~ look round. Sure -- go ahead. Did you say the ~lar~ was out for the bsndlts, 8herlff? Yesj o'course. (FADES SLIGHTLY) Just thought Ild g~t everything cleaned up here before I go out myself. Hrlmo ($~ES ~D~EY) Say~ Look h~r~ (FADES BACK) H~rels some oI the bc~nkls money -- looks like a s,mrt handfull of it too! Where - wher~Id you find it? Over by the window ~ I guess th~ bandits must hay@ dropped it as they r~n by~ Well -- thatls q~!te a find. I congratulate you~ sheriff. Six packages of ~ thousand each and one of five hundred. Therels sixty-flve hundred that never even got out of the b~nk. Pretty good luok, I oall i%. Yes -- yes indeed. And &ll due to your sGarp eyes, sheriff. (STILL ~CONCEP~TED) Uh-huh. Well, g~/es~ them b~ndlts m;ast be getting near the Okl~ho~ line by now. Sure hope t~ey donlt get through. (SERVOUSE) Where are you going, Sheriff? is? Down to the telegraph office, What for? Iim going to send a wire for the Federal men. Federal men? Federal ~gents~ you me~n? Thatls right.
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OOSG]~OV~: GARFIELD: SOURD INTERLUDE: FENTON: SHINER: ALABAMA: FEN TON : SHINER: FENTON: SHINER: FEN TON : SHI}ER: FEN TON : -10- But youlrs doing splendldl¥ -- we have no complaint to Fake of the wan youtre handling the case, I just want to be sure, Mrs Oosgrove. Well -- mood dayI gentlemen. i. DOoR OPEN AND CLOSED. 2. AUTO ~OTOR RUNNING OVER ROUGH ROAD, STOPS. What you stoppinH for,Shiner? Itm gslnT to pull into this paTklng sp~oe. Weirs OVer the Okl~hon~ llne now -- I iv~nt to a~toh my breath. ~ too. lid ruther of run all ~he way than ride ~his car. I feel llke I'd took a good whippin'. All right, boys. We're in no hurry. This looks like a nice little to~rn. Wetll cool off for a few minutes and then scare ~p some gr~b. We ainlt HOt no other pl~ce to go~ anyhow. What go you mean7 Shlnsr? How abo~% golnt on to Kansas City~ and spendlng our cut of this job. Our cut o~ ~hls job! You could put it in your eye~ YesI but ioo~ how easy it was~ And s&feL Saf~ for those other guFs, y~ah. But ~he cops out loo~i~~ for us was flrinI re&l lead. Dontt yo~ forget it, Bu~e~ b~ welts 0.K. now -- and that ba~k presldent111 fix it so we wontt be bothered. ~he old boy gr~bbed his shar~ long a~o. Ho won't dare let I~m try to trace what we took.
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SHINER: ALABANA: SHINER: ALABA,~ : FENTON : ALABAMA : SHINER: ALABAMA: FENTON : ALABAMA ~ SHINER: ALABAMA : SHINER~ ALABAMA: FEN TON : -ll- He better not. ~ay boys, what town is this? Why....It Ipe~rs to be called "Plche~. Oh7 ysKh.,..l see the sign now~ oveh on the bank theh, "Plcher N~tional Bank.rl YOU donrt need to worry about the baDk~ Alabalm%. NO? Listen~ Shiner -- lets stick it up~ The bank? Yeah....come on, get o~t~ We busted open one bank today -- lels make It%vo~ YOU guys are crazy. Stay in this car, Shut No' face~ Newton. 8hlner anI me will k~ock oveh this little bank without half trylnr. That rlght~ Shiner? All right, ~Im with you. Row do w8 work it? J~st walk in ~d tell ~em to get I~m ~P~ Then yo~ grab the mo~ey off the oountehs -- a~d wetll be b~ck in the car headed out of town in anoth~h minute! All riNht, come on. (FADES) Be readv to grab the dough when I draw mah g~n, (CALLS AFTER T~M) Hey, you crazy ~uNs -- (SEES THEY HAVE WALEED OUT OF EARSHOT, CONTINUES TO SELF) if you think l~m ~- gonn~ drive this car for you -- (FLIVVER ENGINE STARTS) pair oI dimwits ..... (IN NACKGROL~D: YELLS ANN SHOTS) (AUTO IN GEAR)
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ALABAMA : FEN TON : ALABAMA : 8OUND INTERLUDE: THOI[PSON : (R~q~NING IN) Fenton -- they done got Shiner ~- They op~ed up oh ns -- Hey, ~onto~ -- l~it -- wait -- Go to the devil, you sap! (NDTOR SPEEDS UP, HORN) (FADING) Fenton....Fenton ..... wait ..... l, NDTOR FAD~S OUT, 2. OFFIGE EFFECT: RUNCHTNG OF ADDING ~ACHINE, Ten thousand in U,$. Liberty Bonds not reglstered...~ (ADDING ~I~OHINE) Six thousand In ~egistered United States Treasury Savln~s Cer~±flcat~s ..... (SOUND AS BNFORN) and County~ state and r~/nIclpal n~go~lable bonds~ thirty thousands .... (SOUND A8 BEFORE, AFTER WHICH STDE LEVER FOR GRAND TOTAL IS PULLED DOWN) And therels our total loss~ gentlemen: slxty-elght thousand flve hundred dollars -~ th~tls app~oxin~te..o w~ h~venlt checked over th~ p~tty oash as ~etI sln¢~ we s~n~ our bookko~per hom~. I think youlre doln~ well to b~ ahl~ to ge% that close~ AS it b~ppens~ we were checklng over ~ tx./st ftund when robbery ocourred~ ~r, Frank~yn.
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FRANKLYN ! OOSGgOVE : THOMPSON : COSGROVE: THOMPSON: C0SGRO~: GARFIELD: THOMPSON : -13- I see. (TURNS TO SHERIFF1 TO tell you the truth, Sh~rlff C~fieldp there doesnlt see~ to be much for me to do here. ~r~ Cosgrove and ~r. Tho~pso~ apparently have observed ~e care In pro%ectlng the f~nds~ Without ~ violation of the National Bank Act, the Bureau of Investlg~tlon would have no ~urlsdlctlon. (ON OONSIDEBABLE DIGNITY) My dea~ sir, that'~ my opinion exactly. As for violation of the Bank Act, why ~ ~r. Cosgzove~ please. Donr~ t~y to shush me~ Thompson. I want to know what Sheriff C~rfleld means by bringing a Fedezal Agent into thls case. If Shere was any suspicion of coll~sion or oonspiracy~ it should have be~n brought out into the open! (TRYING TO CAIn4 TRINGS DOWN) ~r. Oosg~ow -- NO use getting exolted° No~ si~! I have believed in plain speaking all my life. Now then~ 8heriff: o~t with it. What is it about thi~ oase that you donlt und~rstand~ Well, ~. CosgroveI youlve ~Bked fo~ fraD/<ness. ~--- (TELEPHON~ BELL RINGS) (RECEIVER LIFTED QUICKLY) Yes~ Thls is the Central National Bank. This is the Oashler. Special Agent FrankiTn? He's zSght here. (TUP~8 BAO~ TO FRANKLYN) I~t~ for you, ~r. Fran~lyn.
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FRAEI(L~ : COSGROVE: FRANKLYN: COSGROVE: FRANKLYN: COSGROVE: FRANKLYN: COSGROVE: FRANKLYN : CO S GRO "~'E : FRANKLYN : COSGROVE: F RAI~KLYN : COSGROVE: -14- Thanks. Speclal Agent Frankl.vn speaking. Oh~ yes, Thayer. Yes. Two men, you say? "Shi~er" Long and "Alaban~o"....and both dead? I see. In Pioher, Oklahoma. U~. All right, Thayer, tb~rnks a lot. Good bye. (TURNS TO OOSGROVE) Well, ~r, Cosgrove, two of those bandits won't bother banks any more. How's that, slz? They tried to pull another robbery o~er the border in Pioher, Oklahoma. Both shot dead. PIow1d tlleF know these men were the same ones? A few notes issued by your batik wer~ in their pookets, The ~in hodF of the loot must be hlddon somewhere. ~o ~en, you say7 Well now7 let m~ see....there were only two he~e~ ~r. Franklyn. Did/~t t~ey have a drlver? I remember distinotly now,...The two men who held us up were alone. One ef them acted as driver afte~ they got in their car. In that casej th~rels not mUCh to be done. .... YOU mean the case is closed? So far ~s the h~n~Its go, yesq (PUP~I~G) Both of them dead. Tbat is rather final. Of eoursej weIll do ou~ best to trae~ the stolen bondB a~d money. But I tacit g~arantoe how ~ch weIll recover -- Or how soon weIll be able to do it. (VIRTb~US) That's qult~ all right, ~z. FraDkl~,m. I shall advise ~y depositors that everything possible is ~elng dono, and that the c&s~ is p~ctlcalI¥ concluded.
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VOIOE: -~I5- (WL~ELESS BUZZ) WILL GUILTY BANKEP~.. ~..EZCAPE PENALTY FOR CONSPIRACY AGAINST OWN INSTITUTION ...... FOLLOW ~EDERAL ~GENTZ .... IN LUOKY STRIKE HOUR ..... OVE~ TRAIL OF DETECTI0~. ~ ..~ TO TBRILLTNG CL!~i4X ................................... (WIRELE$8 BUZZ)
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-16- SPEJIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE XIlI ~'THE CHEP~YVALE B~K ROBBERY" PART II VOICE: (WI~ELESS BUZZ) CLEAR THE WIRES ..... CLEAR THE WIRES....SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ..... ,STORY OF "THE OHER~ALE BANK ROBBERY'~ ...... BASED ON CASE NO. 29 - 14?4 ...... FILES OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE ..... .WASHINGTON, D°C.....pROCEED WITH CASE .... AT HIDEOUT OF BAN~ ROBBER LOU FE~TON....IN OZARK MOUNTAINS .......................... . .......... ~ ........ ( WIRELE88 BUZZ)
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FEN TON : EORNBL00~: FENTON : EORNBLOOM: FENTON: KORNBLOOM: FENTON: KORNBLOOM: FENTON: KORNBL00M: FENTON: EORNBLO0~: FENTON: KORNBLOOM: FENTON: KORNBL00~: PENTON: KORNBL001: -17- (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Whols there7 (OUTSIDE) Itts m~ -- Joe Kornbloom. Oh, Wait a mlnut~. (DOOR ~BARRED AND SWDNG OPEN) aome in~ Joe, (FADING IN) Nice place you got, Fenton. ~Nic~ to hide out. That's what I meant. Well~ come on -- haw about it? Any dovish? I got you fifty dollars, Lou. Fifty dollars: What'll I do with fifty buck6? Throw it at the birds in the trces? LOU, you ge~ nutting with that kind of talk. Be calm, Oh~ fer-- Lou, I'm telling you. Those bonds are plenty ho%. And ve-ry hard to get rid of -- even for %venty percont. Youlr~ lyi~j you crook. And I k~ow it. You canlt h~ve any trouble with those bonds. Old Cosgrove pro~scd me hlmself they wouldn't try to trace ~em.' That's the trouble. You tlought it vas up to Co~rove to say. Listen. They nave c~lled already the Federal Government on this job.i Who done that? That's no~ my business. (CHUaKLES) And the F~derals donlt know Ko~nbloomI either, llm ~ b~slno~s man. I got to be careful. What should I do? Try to ~ash my bonds in W~shington? Youlre b~ing funny~ h~h?
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FENTON: KORNBLO0~: FENTON: KO~N~LO0~: FENTON: KO~BLOOM: FEBTON: KORNBLOOM: FENTON: KOPG~BLO0~: FENTON: -18- A ~re~t fence you tur~ed out to be. Lishen, I v;ant to take it On the laIlt. I w~nt my dough for those bonds ~nd I want it quick: You get it for me~ go now itls orders you're glving~ ITm supposed to rot in ~hls shanty while you sit back and do nothing. Not ~ch. (.~ENAOING) Ths, t's enough. Trying to do you a favor, itrs no ~se. You alnrt smart enoughj LOU. Get it through Foul" head now: you're just & gunman, K crook. Tim a business m~n. YOU want the dough quick OUt Of them bonds and IIm telling you it c~nlt be done. The Federal men might g~t after me: then thsreld be no doughj for nobody. Better even I should have kept the one bond I sold already. WellI that sounds on the level. Honest, Joe -- nh~t should I do? Ah~ ~ow yo~Ire taking a leetde h~dwiceI bah? go Kay. YOU stay right here. Forget about them bonds. Huh? Look, hou....in tnls job, who gets the big money? It ~in't the poor boys that vas shot, &lid it ainlt you. Itls them bankers i~ Kansas. Yeah, but ..... Listen. This could be a vonderful r~cket -- if it was vorked right,m Kaoket ~
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KORNBL00~ : FENTON: XORNBLO0~ SOUND INTERLUDE: FRANKLYN : SHERIFF: FRANKLYN : S~Z~RI FF: FRANKLYN: SHERIFP: FRAYXLYN: SHERIFF: -19- I'm talllng youi We ~t alraddy two business men thatls vo~kin~ with us -- that c~shier and prasident. No Kay. (MEYACT['GLY) I'm yoink to have yet a conference vith those guys. It looks like maybe we all go into partnership tog~ther~ How about me? YOU stay right whore you'r~ at, Louo Ilm going to talk to those guysi I'm leavink now. So long, Lou. Irll write you m letter from Oherryvale. l~ TRAIN R[E~TING OVER TRACKS. WHISTHES. 2. DOOR CLOSED. Well, 8herlff...,we'vc made a little yrogress~ it ~se~8~ Howls that, Kr. Fr~nklyn~ On~ of those Btol~ bonds turnBd up in Y~nsas Sity~ Well~ now! RowTd you get It~ That certainly is remarkable, Not ~ all. Federal ~gent8 h~ve been on th~ look-out ~ll ovsr the country. Sooner or l~t~r~ w~ were bound to turn up some of that loot. SO I~ve ~ome b~ok to 0herryv~le to bring the good news to ~r, Cosgrove myself. (NONCOE~TTAL) Thatrs fine~ The bond ~e spotted had been disposed of in K~neas Slty by ~ f~nce n~med Joe Yo~nbloom, Well~ why donlt you arrost him~ th~n?
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FRANKLIN : S~RIFF: FRANKLYN ; S~RIFF: THAYER: SHERIFF; THAYER: FRANKLYN : S~RIFF: THAYER: SHERIFF: THAYER: SHERIFF: -50- Werre doing better than that. Welze trailing him. One of our agents has been detailed to do nothing but follow Kornbloom everywhere he goes. go far as we can tell he doesnft know wolfe on to hlm. So therers a chance heIll lead us to th~ source of the stolen money and securities. But the two bandits were killed, Mr. Franklyn. Yes -- two bandits. That's the point. (KN0aEYNG AT DOOR) 0ome i~. (oooR OPg~o) (FADING IH) Sheriff Garfield? YeS1 sir? I'm looking for -- oh, hello, Franklyn. Couldn't see yOU from the doorI there. Hello, Thayer. Sheriff, thls is Special Agent Thayer, the laan detailed to follow Joe KornblaomI the Kansas City fence. Glad to see youj ~r. Thayer. But what are you -- What am I doing here? Well, Eornbloomts in townI Sheriff. In factI he's right across the street -- in the Central National Ban~ -- talking to the cashier. With Thoznpson? Tha~Is rlght~ Sheriff. Look out here -- you can see thee through the Dig plate glass window of the bank. Well, gentlcmen~ What woulS you say about this? I
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FRANKLYN; SHERIFF: FRANKLYN: SHERIFF: FRANKLYN: SHERIFF: FRANKLYN: SHERIFF: FRANKLYN: SHERIFF: FRANKLYN: SHERIFF: FRANKLYN: SHERIFF: FRANKLYN: -21- About Thompson? R~member~ hels an official of the bank. Itls his duty to get those securities back. Kornbloo~ may be offering to tell him Bome information as %o their whereabouts? ITII bet there's more to it than that. (KEENLY) Sheriff, what's ou your ~nd? Well~ slr~ llve had a tal~ ~Ith Mi~s Lucky Harley, the bookkeeper. Yes? She tells me that there was three bandits in the job, Not two. C~n you t r~s% her? Shels ~ mighty l~vel-headed wom~n. ~f ~he says three~ threels ~ighto Then o~e bandit survivedI in spi~e of what the b~nkers said. ~md this man Kornbloom -- He had one of ~e bond~ Hers the tnizd bandi%~ ~h? No~ no. Just the third b~ndltls agent, I think. Xornbloom's been suspected of disposing of stolen property for years~ b~t live never heard of his being involved in the robberies. I wonder -- I wonder &bout what he'B sayinE to Thompson. What ar~ you driving at, Sheriff? (HELUOTANTLY) Well~ I'~ at fault, I gu~s~. You remember when you first oame to tov~ ~° Franklyn, you s~id th~reld have to be a viol~tion of th~ Nation~l Bank Act b~fore you could do anything. Course, I knew that when I sent for you, Is that so, Sheriff?
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SHERIFF: FRANKLYN I SHERIFF: FRANKLIN: SNERIFF: FP~%NKLYN : TIiAYER : FRANK~YN : THAYER: FRANKLYN : THAYER: FRANKL~7~ : You seeI when I first went to the bank~ I fo~L~d sixty-flve hundred dollars loose that the bandits hadn't carried away. At first I was suspicious, then when I got to thinking I figured it was only a happen-so. But maybe I ought to tell you first where that money was. All zlght....go on .... It was iu Mr. Thom~son's hat~ What! Yes, sir. It had just been hidden under it like, and the hat had been knocked off the window sill. What do you thi~k, Thayer? Looks like werd better have a talk with Thompson and his friend Joe Kornhloom, Franklyn. Sight. Walt~ Thompson and Kornbloom are coming out of the bank now. See theml Irll run out and - (TENSE) No, we mustn't put them on guard. Give me that phone -- (LIFTS REOEIVER) Three-eight, please. (TO THAYER) We'll find out where theyrze going, Thayer. But itls Netting dark, Theylve no reason to run away. Hello, Central National SanE? Niss Harley? Thle is Speolal Agent Franklyn speaking. I'd like to talk to ~r. Thompson, please .... oh, I see....on business, eh? And Nz. Cosgrove went home early,...l see. NO, itls all right, thank you. Good bye. (HANGS UP RECEIVER)
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FRANNLYN : (CONTINUES) S.~RIFF : FRANKLYN : SHERIFF: FRANELYN : SOUND INTERLUDE: KOBNBL00~: THOMPSON: KOP~BLSOM: COSGROVE: NOF~NLOOM: COSGSOVE: EOUNBLOOM: CONGBOVE; (TURNS TO OTHER ~/EN) ~iss Harley says Thompson has taaen Nornbloom out to inspect some property on the old Winslow estate. Winslow? Thates right, the bankts the ~,dmlnlstrator. NO oriels living there now, but therels a house and some grounds. The banMs kept She place from getting run-down looking. H~mm. Where is this property? Four ~iles north of town. All right, Sheriff. You and I and Thay~r had better go and inspect that property, too. 1. ANTO~OBILE RUNNING OVER BUMPy ROAD. ~, WIND NHINE. FAINT Nell, you got electric lights. That's something. Thls ~in't such a good place to talk as your office, Tho~ipso~° ~r. Cosgrove suggested we come here. I dunlt llke it, Cosgrove. Well, ~'m not going to talk with you at the bank and that's flnal. I can't afford to be publicly mixed up with youI Kornbloom. Thatls all right, pal. Prom now on, welts partners, bah? In what way? Listen, big boy. Youtre in the racket now. YOU can't just pull one job and qult. YOU got to go on. Who says so?
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NOFNSLO0~: THOMPSON : COSGROVE : KORNBLOOM: OOSGROVE: KORNBLO0~: OOSGROVE : KOF~NBLOOM: C 0 8 GROVE : KOBNBLOOM: THOMPSON: OOSGBOVE: KORNBLOOM: COSGROVE: THOMPSON: COSGROVE: KORNBLOOM: ~4- (HEAVILY) I do. But vle donlt want to have anything to do with you° Yo/%te got to get out of town, IIm not SO sure of that, Thompson. We'll hear your propositlon~ Kernblsom, ThKtts right~ pal, Listen, you got to branch out. What aro you driving ~tI Ifm tellln~ youI itrs a ~onderful racket. Take over some banks in other town8 around here, Sle~n them out just the w~y you cleaned out the Central Natlonal~ How do we dispose of the loot? Donlt worry~ Cosgrove, YO~ leave ths.t to me. I donlt know b~t wh~t youtve got an idea~ V[Dat I got from Centr~l N~tional was already gone ~- all cover-~pw if you see whDt I mean. V~qyI if w~ lined up a ohain of little banks and cracked them all the s~m8 day there might be millions in it. Thatts rlghtj pal. Youlr~ g~tting thsre. ~r. Cosgrove,I We did on8 job -- y~s, we had to, to save ourselves; but why go on? GO on~ weirs got to go o~. This man is right, (AUTO NOISE FAINT) You're tailing me? (HEARS NOISE) Hey,~ Whatls that? Sounds like an automobile. Good lord: Lstls get out of here~ Keep still, Slt tight. (AUTO NOISE O0iES UP AND STOPS) Sosgrove~ wha~ you got there?
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SOSGROVE: KORNBLOOH: FRANXLY~: COSGROVe: FRANKLY~q : COSG~W:' FP~.NKL~'N : SHERIFF: FRAEKLYN: KORNBLOOH: FRANKLYN: SHERIFF: THOMPSON: FRANKLYN: SHERIFF: THOmPSOn: -25- A gun, k'eep qulet, now. The car's stopped and theylre co~ing In the house~ ~eln gott. P~t it away. You should be like (NOISE OF FOOTSTEPS OUTSIDE) Sosgrove, II~ talling you....hold on with that gun~ It means t~oubleI ~Te. ( N::V: N::OCN) (OUTSIDE) Hello in there. Whols there? Wh t do you wa~:? (DOOR OPEE:D) (OFF) I want to talk to you people. No you dontt! H~y~ he switched off the lights, Sheriff, Turn your flash ~n the room, quickly -- (GLASS CRASH) All right--- Some one ju~©~d out the ~indow~ •here you are! Donrt shoot~ ~ister~ Come on in~ Sheriff. Wherels the light swltch? (FADING IN) I found it. Here we are. (SONND - OUTSIDE - SHOTS) Listen -- Tnayer must have spotted the other one.r Are zhey -- are they shooting at him? Just in the air, probably -- but donlt ~ men try ~nythlng. lira right sorry to see you ou~ hereI lit. Thompson. This is bank property, Sheriff. Why -- Why shouldnlt I be heze? The rest of you stand
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TEAYER: 8~NIFF: COSGROVE: FRANKLYN : COSGROVE: FRANKLYN : COSGROVE: FRANNLYN : COSGROVE : FRANKLYN : T}L%YER: FRANKLYN : SHERIFF! FRANKLYN : &28- (FADING IN) All right, Yr. Cosgrove. Thru the door and into the room° (BADLY) Cosgrove, sh? (FADING IN) Whazfs the meaning of this, Sheriff? I~ll have you proseoutedj all of you! Oh no -- i think that will be the other ~y round, Mr~ Cosgrove. You mean that we can't come out here to show a client some property~ What idea of the property would he get after dark? Thatls my business, you interfering busy-body~ Well, ItJs bad business Ilm afraid, Er. Cosgrove, and you made it worse when you tried to escape through the window. See here~ nowI yourve no zi~ht to infer -- Walt just a moment, if you please. Was ~r. Gosgrove armed when you took him, Thayer? ~ertatnly. With ~hls revolver. All rlght. Why would an honest banker meet a known disposer of stolen goods, secretly, in an unoccupied ho~se~ oarryin~ ~ ~u%? On top of that~ why would s~ch ~ bamker -- if he were honest~ flrsZ attempt to escape when officers of the law appeared, and th@n1 try to gloss the whole thing over -- r~ks it look like a legiti~te buslness deal? What would yo~ sayt Sh~rlff? It looks to me like a dead give-away~ Mr° Fzanklyn. And I'm afraid it Is~
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THOMPSON: COSGBD~: FgANKLTN : VOICE: .7 But ";~e dldnlt mean to do anything -- if we heip you, you'll go easy, won't you -- listenj ~r. Franklyn, l--- Thompson~ Shut up, you fool. We'll get out Of this allrlght, yet. That remains to be seen, sir. My ~sss says, "No" -- not after the auditors have examined your books. And now -- gentle~n, if you will come with me, we have car waiting. I think we can assure you of a comfortable rid~ -- back to town~ (WIRELESS BUZZ) DISHONEST ~ZERS TRIED;....CONVICTED;...SENTENCED TO PBNITENTIARY.....$URVIV~NG BANDIT ~APTURED, CONVICTED.. OASE gO. 29 - 1474 ...... DNITED STATES Bt~AU OF vNVESTIGAT~ON..~..DEPA~TI~ENT OF JUSTZCE~;.~CLOSED..... ASSIGNMENT BOL~LETED.~.!...(WIRELEZB)...~;~.THE LONG A~ OF T~ FEDB~%L LAW REAC}~S EVERY~RE.~;..CRIk~ DOES gOT PAYo....~..~.......;~..i~...~.~.~.~.~ .... .~ (WIRELESS BUZZ) *** *** F.~RR/?IILLI.4~$ON/ohilIeen ~lizl3~
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchestras and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TUESDAY * TH~,TI~DAy J " TYTt'q'D'T'I~t~ SATURDAYIOtoIIPtlVL ~ ,d~ ~Lr'O THUESDAY~ JAI<UARY ~6, 1933 ( ~USICAL SIGNATURE) HOWARD CLANEY : Ladies and gentlemen, thc LUCEY ~TRI~(E Hour presented for your pleasure by the r~nufact~rers of LUC}~ STRI~E ~Ig~rettes - Bixty ~oder~ ~inutes with the wcrldI~ flnest @~nce orchestras, and the falaous LUOEY STRIKE th~ill~ ...... Tonight ~e bring Vou J~ck Pe&r1~ the Baron I~nch~sen~ who take~ over th~ microphone on these Thursday night latL~h jubilees and mln~es no w~rds. Goor~e 01sen and his Orchestra will ~har~ the honors ~oni~ht w±th the Baron ~nd provlde the dance i~ic. ~o here we. eo~e, ~eorge -- lift up those t~n/~po~s and play. ON WITH T~ DANCE...,(WHI~TLE~...,0KAy, A~RICA:
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GEORGE OLSEN: (TRAIN SIgnATURE) floor as we play -- (TITLES) .) ) ) GEORGE OLBEH: All Out, all out on the dance The Magic Carpet speeds back to the P11ot, (WHISTLE) OKAy~ N~ YORK~ HOWARD CLANEY: Those tunes were fl~c George, thanks. ..... What & thrill of pride for a Wo~n to invite her frlo~d~ fo~ a fori~Al dirauerj whe~ ~he h~s gl~minE lin~, ~ beautiful tableoloth~ every appolntment perfect for her tablel And wh~t a tragedy if her guests droR ashes on her lovely tablecloth: It is beo~u8~ womeu know the con~equenoeB of cigarettes th&t burn raggedly -- that fl~k~ and drop &shes ~ that they have turned ~o unlvers~lly to LUCKIES~ Leave it to a woman to discover that LUO~IES burn with a firm, solid ash that resl~ts flaking and dropping. And next time you ~oke a LUCEY ~ notlce e~peoi~lly that ~hs ash of LUCKY STRIKE ~s white - th~t~ th~ Bign of the worldls finest, ~8t fragrant tobaccos -- c~refully blended &nd purlfi~d by the ~ost ~dern Bt~p In elg~tte m~nuf&eture ~ the "TOASTING" Proc~8~. Only LUCKIES are 'ITOASTEDI' - th~tls why LUCKY STRIKE burn~ e~enly -- gives you a ~&ld, smooth~ mellow smoke -- glve~ you a d~liolo~s, flavo~T~l ~ro~. With all these sup~rlor quallties~ Isnlt it gratifying to know that ~u ~an now ob~aln thss~ choicest of cigarettes - LUCKY STRIKE - at thlrte~n sent~ a packago or twe packages for twenty five osnts.
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3- HOWARD CLANEY: Now stepoing out of Zhe win~s are Jack Pearl and Cliff Hall knoTm the country over as the Baron Munohausen, and his sparring partner, Sharley. Tile Baron has an ax with him tonight but he doesn't intend to use it to win any arguments with ~harley~ I~Is zerely local color for the Baron's dlscu~sion of his life in a lu~cr ca~. So we give you now -- his modesty -- the Baron Xunchausenl ( FIRST PART -- i, LUNBERJACKSr' )
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-4- HOWARD 0LANKY: There ~$ that old l~er2ack - tho B~ron /unchause~ - but he's not ~ of the woods ~ct - he'll be baok a :ittle later with more fueI to ~ar~ the cockles of your heart~ In th~ mean~hile~ therols Oeorg~ 01s~ and his tal~ted troupe to consider sa let's pick them up! OR WITH T:4E fiaNCE, GFORGE 0LSEN...(WHISTLE)..0KAY A~£RICA~ GEORGF OLSEN: We play this time - (TITLES) ) ) ) ) .) GEORGE OLSEN: The M~gic Carpet flashes baok to Zhs ~tartlng point, (WHI~TLE) OKAY R~ YO~
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-5- HOWARD CLANEY : F~mo~s business leaders who ride on that world-famous train~ ~he Tl'~entleth C~ntury Limited, will toll you that Fred E. ~illlam~on, President of the New York Centr~l LinesI is one of America~s greatest rallro~d ~xecutlves. But ~f you w~re to ~sk ~ny cQnductor~ any brakeman o~ engineer along the f~mous W~ter Level Route, he Ir~rOuld tell you more -- h~Id tell ~ou that Fred E. Willla~son i~ democr~%ic..,~ood-n~t~red,~..and most important, he can be depended ~pon to go right to the point, ThatTs ~hy we have jus~ s~nt him thls wire:-- I/R. FRED E. WILLIA~80N~ PRESIDENT NEW YORE CE}ITREL LINES NEW YORE CENTRAL BUILDING ~30 PARK AVE~NUE N~ YORK SIR: EVERY0~IE F~COGNIZES TP3~ FA~0US TWE~TIETH CENTURY LIMITED AS A STANDARD BEARER OF ~OMFORT SPEED A~D LUXURY IN A~RICAI$ GREAT TREI~S....THANK~ TO YOU THE A~ERICA~ PEOPLE CAN ENJOY TH~ UT~DST IN QUALITY TRA~SPORTATION AND SO I KNOW YOU ~ILL ~E INTERESTF~D IN GOOD NEWS OF ANOT}~R GREAT I~DUDTRY ~HICH IS DETTI~G A NEW HIGH STANDARD OF QUALITY FOR AI~ERICA....k~KERS OF CERTIFIED CREDO CIGARS ARE NOW OFFERING THIS FINE LONG-FI~LER CIGAR AT FIVE CENT~ STRAIGHT THREE FOR TEN CENTD AND ~ILLION$ OF $~0KERS ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE DF THIS DERVICE TO GET A TRULY FINE HIGH-~UALITY TWE~TIETH CENTURY alGAE -- CERTIFIED 0RE~0 -- AT PRICED WITHIN REACH OF ALL ..... AS YOU HAVE D0 ABLY SHOWN I!:ITH THE TWENTIETH CENTURY LIMITED I~R WILLIA~SON IT 18 THE ~UALI~q OF SERVICE THAT ~OWNTS....IN THANSPDRTATIO~ AS IN FINE CIGARS....CORDIALLY YOUR~ (SIGNED) VINCE~T RIGGI0 VICE-PRESIDENT IN 0HARSE OF SALES THE AI~EHICAII TOBACCO ~O~PANY (I~R~ ~LAHEY COi,TTII~UX8 O1~ NE~T PAGe)
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HOJARD CLANEY: (CgNTI~UES) This wire, l&~ies and gentlemenI was sent just two ~inutes a~o to ~r. Fzed E. Willlmmson, Pr~id~nt of the New York Central Lines. Every cigar smoxer will recognize the i~o~tancc of the news it contains - that Certified gremo Cigar~ are now five cents straight - three for ten cents. .......................... ETATION BEEAK ......................... HOWARD CLAYEY: Let's have another dance before the Baron co~es out of the woods ~- wolfe on our way to that combination of rhythm ~nd melody headed by George 01sen. gN WITH THE DANCE°...(WHISTLE).!..0KAY A/ERIGA! GEORGE OLSEN: Swing your partners ~o -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) GEORGE OLSEN: HOWARD CLANEY: Here goes the ~agic CarPet. (WHISTLE) OKAY HEW YOP~{I Thank you Georg~ thatls ........ well~ look whols here - the Baron ~unoha~sen....~h~t ~l&In-spoken gentleman from the forest... Go aheadI Baron~ (SECOND PART ~- "LUMBERJAC~~')
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7- HOWARD CLANEY : And so Jack Pearl, the Baron ~unohausen~ leaves us untll this same time next week. Incidentally, this genial ambassador of good-will is starring on Bro~dw&y in a new show by the Gershwlnrs -- entitled "Pardon MF Engllsh3" where he dispenses hilarity to the laughter-loving theatre-goers of Ne~ York] Now therels baton-wavlng to be done~ ~ng George 01sen is th~ ~n to do it -- so get ready George~ welre going to land right on your doorstep. ON WITH TLE DANCE ..... (WHXSTLE).,..O~AY A~ERISAI GEORGE OLSEN: We now play -- (TITLES) ) ( > (. ) ( ) ( ) GEORGE OLSEN: Carpet, Rack to the man at the controls speeds the ~gic (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK~
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-8- HOWARD OI~EY: Thanks ~orge~ that was flns, weIll oail on Fou again in ~u~t a moment~ ..... Today hundreds of p~ople thronged to see the ~oores of glist~nlng oTaft on diBpla¥ at ~ew Yorkls ~mou~ Motor Bo~t 8how....a8 they i~spocted th~ gleaming bra~s a~d ~hogany~ the shlnlng ~lleys and cozy d~oks of modern motor o~is~rs~ you'd notloe that th~Be p~ople are paFin~ p~rtlc~iar ~tte~tion to thi@ ~r~s ~ew val~s. And if ~o~ w~r~ the2e today yould ~otlce~ tOO, how of~ ~ch ~eopl~ with a~ ey~ to the finest in value, ar~ ~moklng the finest in oigarett~s -- LUCKY STRIKE -- the cigarette that offo~ you the ~r~at~t vaiu~ in rloh~ rip~, ~xp~siv~ tobaooos -- the cream of Tmm~y spien~id tobaoco orops4 8~elng i~ b~llevizg~ my f~i~ds -- a~d if you w~r~ to ~xamln~ th~ i~sido of a L~C~Y yo~rd notice lon~, ~iken strands of fiavorful tob~oco -- full w~ight -- fir~ly p~c~ed. And ewry gold~ shred in that delicio~ blend is ~de m~llow-mild by that exclusive "TOASTINGII Proce~. 8~eing is bel1~i~g -- a~d when ~ou 2igh~ a LUCKY you ~e~ th&t it alwayB bur~ with a long~ firm a~h that doe~nlt t~nd to ~lak~ and drop on your cloth~so.°.a white ~sh th~t~ th~ ~ure sig~ of finest ~obacco qtu~lltF. Aud uo~ in i~33 LUCEY $TRIEE brlngs yau ~n extr~ m~asuro of ~alu~ - for ~ou oan now obtaln LUOKIE$ for thlrt~ez ~ents ~ package or two D&ck~ges ~r ~ q~mt~r.
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GEORGE OLSEN: GEORGE OLSEN: train is leaving. We play now -- (TITLES) HOWAS~ CLAI~EY: the home stretch. (WHISTLE) O!~Y NEW YOF~{~ That~ ladies and gcn~lemen~ concludes this LUCKY STRI~E Hour. On Saturday night, weIll brinE y~ th~ voices of our romantle young coup±o, @la~ys Rice and Robor~ ~lliday~ singing the hit songs from ~he ~sioal comedy and opsre~ta s~ye.,..also cz that program weIll dance To ~h~ m~slc of J&ok Denny ~n~ his Orchestra from New York CitE and ~l Kempls orchestr~ playiny in Chica~o, Until Saturday then ..... Soo~igh~. ( Y~U8 ICAL SI GEATUF~ ) THIS I8 ~ NATIONAL ~ROADCASTI~G COY~A~Y. All aooard Doys....yather up your ins~ruments..,.our (TRAI~ $IGNATL~) The Xagic Carpet dashes down
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FKkTURING pEARL EPISODE XX! "Lb~BER JACK" PARTS I AND II BY VIILLIAM K, 7fELLS FOR LUCKY STRIKE HOUR
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"THE ~O~PJ~ BARON I~U~CF~USEI~" ~pIS0DE ~Zl . LU~8~HJACK" P~ BY ~;ILLIA~ K. ~ELL8 CHARACTERS: T~ BAIiON ................................... , ...... JAOK pEARL OHARI~Y ........................................... ,CLI~ HALL ~OTE; Thi~ prope~¥ is duly pro~ec~od by copyriEh~ and m~y not be used ±n any manner withou~ the authority of ~he o~ner thersof, I~ is ~u~horlzed fo~ bzo~dcas~ ove~ ~atlonal Broad~ast- in~ com~ny~ Ino.~ f~oilitles onl¥ on the d~e flrs~ indicated herein.
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"T~H~ ~0DERN BARON ~CEAt~" HA_~L~ CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: 0~L~RLE y: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: Now look here, Baron - just because you sap its so, doesntt make it SO, Is that so? Well I say its so - SO i~s so| All right its so, I sap I am a It~ber-jake. Pardon me, Baron - not a It~uberjake - a It~nbsrJaok. In mp country Jack is Sake, You look like a luuberje~k as far as pour attire is concerned but where is the balance of your accoutrement? ........ ~hello? Where is the balance of your paraphernBlia) equipment, gear -- ~z~lemsnts necessary in the felling end dismantling of the prodUCts of the timberlands? ...... ~...You're oonm~noing earlyJ ~n other words) where is youl axe? Did if %~Lke all those words to s&y "axe?" NO, that's just one. ?{nere is your axe? What axe? The axe yOU USe tO shOp down trees* My goodness} Do you have to have an axe? Oertalnly~ and where is your cant hook? Nho cant hook what?
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0HARLEY: BARON: GHAPLEY Z BARON: GHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHAR~y: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: QHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: OKARLEY: BARON." CHARLEY: BAR0~: CHARLEY: Your cant hook - the implement used for ~t£ng or turning logs over~ And where is your saw~ and your peavey? .o~.....,Could you o&ll up ~gain? I said where is your psavey? (LAUGH).... ~ she,s home. Home: Sure ~ and ~as she peavey thi~ mornlng6 8he said Baron m Hold on~ Baron ~ Ilm talking abeu~ a peavey - anothe~ logging implmne~. (LAUGH) I thought you meant my wife. Well~ l~here is ye~r peavey~ and your axe, end yo~r ss~v and your oant hook and your -- Thatls all you say~ where is your ox~ where is your B~V,D's, where is your pants hook -- where is this -- where i~ that ~ and you don~ ask me where is the most important thing of all. What I s that? My 0ousin ~ugo~ ~elij wher~ i~ you~ oo~sln Hugo? In the sl~mbe~ camp. In the lumbe~ ca~p~ No, the slumbe~ e~mp - he~s still asleep~ IS he also a lumber~aok? No - he's a lumb~ joke. ~oes he know anything about l%~nbe~? 8~1r~ -- h~Is got ~ gre&~ h~d for w~od~ I mean does he know any~hlng about trees?
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BARON: O~ARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HAF~EY: BARON: 0RARLEy: BAP~N: 0HARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: ~0N: 0HARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: Helm only interested in two kinds Of trees. Two kinds of trees? Yes~ pantries and poultrlos. If he doesnlt know anything about trees, what makes him so important in Four IL.aber ca~p? He has charge of the ax~s - and you know wh~t they teach you in Geography. What? That the whole world revolves around its ~xQs. But I will say this for Hugo ... Wherever we h~d to go to chop down trees he accompanied us, He accompanied you? Yes . o on the harmonica. He must be a card| (LAUGH) Herb a whole d~ck. One time he was -- please, Baron - if you do~It mind - live b~d enough of FOUr Cousin Hu~o. 8o h~ve I. L~ts get back to our oriEir~tl subject. Wh~t do you s~y? 8ure -- its my favorite subject ~ud I like to talk about it. 8o do I, Thetis fine. I -- ~at was we talking about? Why, logging and lUrAber, Thatl~ rlght~ Logging and lu~ozlcz. Lumbo~J L~bulm - b%U~ler -- L~mb~r~ B~mlt~n - bl~Uboz -- b~u -
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CHARLAY: BARON: GHARLEY: BARON: OH~LEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BAHON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: cHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: ~natlo the matter, Baron you've been ~ying "Itmaber" right along, why can't you say it now? I got a splinter i~ my tongue. You,ve got a splinter in your tongue? Yes -- must be from that sandwloh I ate. A splinter f~om a sa~dwioh? Sure -- a club sand~ioh. Well, getting back to logging and l~nber -- I upsnt a season in a logging camp where the pines were over one h~udrsd feet high. ( LAUGHS ) Toothpicks J Toothpick mY Sure -- i~ my cotmtry we got what we call trees. Hew high are they? gems are zeventeen hundred feet. Seventeen hundred feet high? The baby ones. Baby ones~ B~.u~e -- the old ones are much higher. The older trees are higher? Oh, muchsrJ 0nee a boy started to olimb one of the trees when he was zlx years old mud by thB time he zeaohed the top his whiskers got tangled up i~ the brs-uches . . DO you expeot me to believe anything as fantastioal as thatT (LAUGH) You never disappointed me yet. I~ sorry~ but I can,t go for a boy climbing a tree and by the tir~ he ~eaehed the top he had whiskers.
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BARON: CHARLEY: BARN: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BA~ON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OKARLEy| BARON I CHARLEY| BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON ~ CBARLEyz BARON: CHARLEy: Gould you go for a mustach~ NOJ So he had whiskers. All right - he had whiskers. I suppose a tree of that height has a lazge circ~nference. .......... V~hat~s the order? I said I suppose a tree of such magnitude has an enormous oirotm%ference, perlpherF, the perLmeter of 8, clOSed azes,~ .,,.,.,.,,who p~Shed me. Itll make it plainer, Baron - the measurements aro~%d - Oh, the ~ist lineZ All right, wetll call it that. What is the waist line? T~enty two. tight at the hips, straight llne effect, inverted plaits at the front and back~ p~ffed sleeves 8A%d -- Hold on~ V/nat are Fou? A It,,berjask or a dressmaker? ~hats the difference? What do Fou mean whatls the difference? After looking at mF wifels dresses, a lumberjack could bs a dressmaker and her dTessm~sz should be a lunbsrjack| You still haven't told me the circmuferense of the tree. 8harley, I1m afraid ¥ou wouldnlt beli~ve it. I Im afraid I wouldn i t. So I won't frighten you. Z had one tree that was so high I didnlt want to chop it down. You dldnit want to chop it down? NO, but I wanted some of the woods 80 I suppose you chopped a piece off the top?
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BARON.~ CHARLEy: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0H~LEY: BA~0N: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEy~ BARON: CHARLEy: BARO g: CHAKLEY: BARON: 0HA~LEY: BARON: OHARLEY: NO sir - I took 5 piece from the middle. That was silly, hecauss the top part fell just the same. No sir~ it didn't. It stayed ~ight who~o i~ was. DO you mean to say you cut away the middle of the tree and the top part didnTt fall? Exactly. Thatms utterly ir~ossihlo, Itfs against the law of gravitation. ....A..~..oould you he,co that back? I said itms against ~hs law of gravitation. (LAUGH) They donlt h~vo that law in my country~ I beg your sxcelloncyls pardon, but I regret to say that your statement is preposterous. Is it posslblo you think I am fibbing~ falsifying or otherwise? Do you w~nt mo to be f~/~j Bmron? o,....i.o.Ooltld yo~ come a~in? I said do you ~nt me to be frank? No ~ I want you to be my Sharley - my good friend 8ha~leyQ Baron, you touch ms. I wish I could - but no foollng, I me~u it~ We have our Quibbles and qUabbles, but I like youp 8harley, and there is nothing I weuldntt do for you. Thank you~ Baron - I assure you I app~eolate your attitude. In this day when on~ is surrounded by n~levolent~ ~d ranoerous humans - it is a source of satisfaotion and gratifio~tion plus delsction to know - ?;air a minute~
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BARON: GHAKLET: BARON: CHAFFY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON : OHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : OBARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY= I take it b~ck! (LAUGH) Iill take that with a ~zain of salt, It11 t~ke m1~e with mustard. About these lazge trees, B~ron, how did you fell them? Oh, we had a lot of good l~mbcrj~key - but the best and ths strongest was my brother-in-lawo Youm brother-in-law? YeBo l~thatls his name? His n~gne is -- now ain't this percooli~ ~ he~s my brother-in-law and I oanlt thimk of his name° That Is peculiar. That's because I haven't seen him in a long time -- l even foxget his face° Then you wouldn't know him if you s~v him? Oh sure - I would knc~ him. How? Hels got my suit on, But you oanlt think of his name? NO -- let ms see -- it starts with a "Y". A "Y" - Yatss? No. Yale? No -wait| I got it~ Wha$ is it? Yes,' Yce~ Do you mean Joe? That I s it| Yes| Pazdon me, Baro~I but you spell Joe with a "J".
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B.,khO~: CHARLEY: BARON: OEARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHAP~EY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: ~BARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BiKON: CHARLEY: BARONi gBARLEy: 80 Four brothez~-in-law Joe was tlle strongest l~uberjack of th~u all? Yes sir -- he could take an axe and wi~h one chop he'd knock down the biggest tree, With one chop| And french fried potatoes~ One chop and french fried potstoes? (LAUGH) gxeuse me - I was thinking of ~othor chop. A pork ehop~ (LAUGH) Not in mF ho~se. Joe must have been quite a ohoppsr? Thatrs nothing -- one day he hit a tree so hard -- the axe went right through -- came off the handle - fl~v through the air and chopped down another tree five miles awayj ~ron I1rn spinning, Donlt worry old top --(LAUGH) I1m spinning too, Did I toll you about the time he pulled up two trees by the roots? NoJ And I donlt w~ut to hear it, All right - so fill toll you. One day he was ~ralking in the Woods looking for a pair of shoes. He was walking in ~he woods looking for a pair of shoes? "{CO. V~nere did he expect to find th~u? On the shoe tree -- Well sir, he couldn't flnd shoes - but he got a nice set of ful, s for his wife, A se~ of furs?
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BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHA~RLEY: BARON: OHARLEY| BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY~ BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0KARLEY: BARON: O}5a.RL~Y .' BARON~ 0KARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : O~Y: Y~se From a fizz tree. SO you was there, 8harley7 Why yes. Didu:t you see me? uYas you wearing a green sweatBr? Y6s, And a yellow woolen sap? Yes, And high laced boots? Black ones? Yesj And did you have a red axe with a white handle? Yes. (LAUGH) I dldnlt see F0U. I diduft think you did° I ~usss you was looking for your £~nily tree? HF i~nily tree? What kind of a t~ee is that? A Hall treel ~ell si~ whe~ Joe couldnlt find the shoe t~ee hs was terrible ~d° He was ex~spsratsdo ........ .,I beg your stuff? He was in a ferment, a t~ntzum, wrathful, piqued and ~o r irloniol~S e ......... .HOW you gamble wi~h lifo. Pros~edp Baro~l~ He was so mad he took a tree in sash hand and pulled thou up by tho roots. Bome feat| 9ome roets~ HC ~ahbed one tree by the suit cabs -- By the suit oaso?
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BAEOI:: 8HARleY: BARON~ CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OEARLEY: BARON: -lO- The %rttnk -- 8/1d the other One by a leE. A leg? A limb| Smacked th~n together and ~he air for miles around ~aB full of s&wd~st~ Eooey.I No -- ss~vdus~ Baro~ that so~dB llke a Paul Bunyan episodeo • ..,.o~4.~Gould Y have a 8eoond portion? A Paul Bunyan tale -- youlve heard of Bunyan, haven't Fou? 8u~e -- I had so m~/%F one time I couldnTt walk. No~ ncJ Paul Bunyan - the Munoh&usen of ~he Timberlands. The Munchaus~n of the -- dQnrt tsll me thiB° It's a faotp Baron° YOU can gst his book at the libTary- Is tha~ so? He -- th~ ss~n~ a~ mo -- a Munoh~usen - a -- H~ canlt do it. I~ll stop hlmJ He f~lled t~ees with his ~r~ hand~ - Ke broke tremendous logs over his knee -- he killed grizzly boar~ with a blo~ of hi~ fist -- he did thlr~B you never ~hought o~ doln~. ~as you there~ ~harloy? 80 he dldnlt ~o ItJ Oh, Baron~ Oh~ 8harloF| (END OF PART l)
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O~Y: BARON: OHARLEy: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BA~ON : *'THE L~OI~RN BARON IAITNOHA~E2~' EPISO~ XXl "LL%G3ERJAOK" PART II Baron, I suppose the life of a iLwnberj&ck is rather hazardous. You see, 8~ley, I what was that you thr~v at me? I said the life of a Itm~berj~ck is hazardous, precarious, perils'as - &l~ys in jeopardy. (LAUGH) ....... and then came the dawn. Were you ever in a jmu~ Baron? 8~tre - this morning, This morning? Yes - my wife found a letter in my pocket. I meo~l a Io~ j~Dl. Oh, sure| One day I chopped down two million trees and I was -- How ~y? ........ nonlt you hear good? Yes - but I want to r06ke sure I heard gou alright. I said one day I chopped doom two million trees. Two million trees - - in one day? Y~Bo Piffle° ~o - pine~ V~hen I chucked them in the river they jellied.
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OHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BAKON: CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: I~RON : 0~tRLEy: BARON: OBARLEg: BARON: 0~RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: They what? Nhy don't you just listen? llm so~y~ go on with your story, I said the logs got in a jelly, a preserve~ a marmalade. Oh, a jsm. 8~r~ -- yOU ra~k~ suoh a fusB oVs~ O~e word, V~aat happened? The jam was a half a mile high. A half a mile high? Yes - - - this ~ had to spread out. You had to spread the jam out? Yes° Youtro very good at spreading the jam. 8ure I ..... sometimes you alnzt so fu~uy. 0ont ~nue, Baron. Just then a boo~ came along. A boer? (LAUGH) I mean a logger. He wanted to help ms but I said "No." YOU said "No.jl YSS - - - for muall jobs llke that ths Baron don:t need any help. Breaking up a jam of two million logs is a small job? gharley, I gould have done it with one hand tied behind my back. ~hy didnlt you?
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BARON: 0HARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HAHLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: B2~0N: 0KARLEY: BARON: (LAUGH) I didnlt have any rope. Well, to bri~ a long story to a slobs up, I picked up those logs and threw them right and Isft~ up and down~ back and front J And in five minutes I broke up the jam. Baron, if you expact me to believe that you must think Ilm a fool. 8harley, I expect you to believe it. Well, I don~t - no living nma% ~nder ths sun could - single handed--break up a j~n of ~o million logs. was you there~ Sharley? NO, I W&S not* 80 single handed I broke u~ a jam of tyro million logs~ I wonlt waste time arguing. Tell me, what is the biggest boom you ever saw~ ~y Cousin Hugo. Hugo? I said boom,I A line of coruuected floating timber used to oonflne logs -- a boom. (LAUGH) I thought you said I'B~n". Nowj now~ Baron thatls not a nice way to talk about your Cousin Hugo. I was only joking. Hugo is a good fellow -- he's got a heart of gold. A heart of goldJ Yes -- aud a head of ivory! But even so, one time he was one of those big silent men of the woods° %Then was that? The day I knocked him speechless with an axe handle. ~y wozdJ My bandle ~
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CHAF~LEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BA/%0N: CHARLEY: CHARLEY: BARDN: CHARLEY: BAKON: CHARLEY: BARON: OKARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BAKON : OHARLEy: You know~ Baron - in looking yQu over I miss something very important to a lu~nberJack. {~nat ? ~Tsllt what do l~berjacks have in their boots? Feet. Po - Z mean On the bottom of the boot. Bol®~. NO, no~ On the Bolos. ~ud! Evidently you donlt know, so fill tell you - on the bottom of th~ boots are calks. Go,ks| (LAUGH) Don~t be silly. Go,ks are for bottles - not for boots. Not corks -- calks Not corks - eorks~ -- You're good too. Oalks.I 0-A-L-K-S. Sharp metal points to prevent slipping~ Oh -- corks| YeS. Thatls what I said. You did not. ~ell -- I mesmt to sap it. In my l~ubsr camp I had a special man to put on the corks. ~Wno go you think it %va~? Don~t tell me it was your cousin Hugo~ Sure.l ~ho told yo~? Seems we c~It get aw~,y from KUgo. Nobody can. Is he good at attaching corks?
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BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEy: BAKON: OHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEy: • BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : C~R~Y: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: HARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: (LAUGH) HeIs a oorker~ But he should have been a stone cutter. V~y should he h~ve been a stone cutter? Eels such a great chiselez~ By the wayj where is this logging camp of yours? In Kitty lawn mows~, Kitty la~n~ rnowe~. Jenny Shovel, Edna rake -- Donlt tell me you mean Id~hoJ Thatls it~ Id~hoJ Up there I got all kinds of trees~ What is yoU/ favorite tree, Baron? Cl~m chowder. Ol~ chowder.I Thatls not ~ tree. ~at do I care. Thatll my favorite, My favorite tree is the cherrF tree, I once hopped do~ a cherry tree with one slap of a hatchet. You chopped down a cherry tree v¢i±h one stroke of a h~tchet ? Yes slz -- you know george Washington chopped down a cherry tree also, I kn~v - b~t he did~Tt lie about it. ThatTs right I -- who let you in? %wa~t de you think of ~ple~ Baron? ghe:s all right but I like Sophie better. i mean m~ple tre~s. (LAUGH) I thought you v~s talking about ~ple Bush. Itle ftu~ny how girls h~ve names llke trees. It really is. Y know a glrl na~ed Hazel,
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0HAR~EY~ BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: OHAP.LEy : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: Hazel? Yes - she's a nut. you kr~w, Sharley, life is just one tree after the other. Now do you figure that out, Baron? Well a glrl flirts with a feller - thats coquetS, he buys her dinmer - thetis gallery, they fall in love -- thatIB pect~j thcylre r~ade one by the ministry, they build a home - thatls industry, ~ud a year Later -- ~Wnat? Infaut~y. Right you are, Baron, but getting back to timber - without any joking - according to statistics the annual out of 1Lm~bcr in the United States from 1923 to 192~ was approximately thirty seven billion board fs~t - Of which thirty one billion was of soft wood and six billion of hardwood. Floss ....... Keep out of my departm~t. But itls a fact .... what do you think ef it? (LAUGH) Looks like we,ve been eating more soft wood tha~ hardwood. Think of the v~nderful uses It~uber is put to. Wood is used in the manufacturing and building of everything from a toothpick to a sky scraper. From a I~ sZeak to a political platform. What would the wo~id do without wood? ~Vhat would cooden weddings do without wood? Furniture, chairsp tables -- I dontt 1LEo tables. YOU donlt like tables?
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BAR0~: cHARLEY: BARON : CHAR~Y~ BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: B~qON: CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : GKARLEY: BARON: G~ARLEY: BARDN: OHAR~Y: ~N: 0HARLEY: BARON: Dining room tables. ~Wny not? BeoauBe a dining room table brings a dining zoom and a dining zoom brings relations. I could talk for hours without exhausting the uses to ~hie~ i~ubsr is put. But you forgot one very important thing. 1~t WaS that? Jig Saw puzzles, gig saw puzzles~ Theytve become quite a fad~ havenlt they? Yes - I had one last niEht that had me jigging. A h~zd one to put together? Three hundred pisces -- but I got it.I You succeeded in putting the pieo~s together properly~ Yes sir -- and I had ta~entF eight pieces left over. Twenty eiEht pieces left over.t gums. What did the piotu2e look like when you finished? I eouldnlt tell whether it was a battleship oz a cow. I suppose, Baron, youtve had some Inte~estlng experiences during you~ career as a l~nberJack? More as I could ooUnto One day I was walking aroUnd the cmup when I sew my cousin HUgO -- Cousin Hugo is ~ith us again. You can't lose him. Is HUgo Four cousin on yOttW fathe~I8 side or you2 mother's s~de? Give Hugo s meal and hers on anybodyls side.
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CH~LEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: RA~ON: C~L~RLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY~ BARON: He likes to eat? Likes to eat| There is only one thing he likes to do better than eat a meal. ~Vhatls that? Eat two mealsJ In ~he morning he eats breakfast, and by the time he is finished its time for l~uuoh, and we gotta wl~it for h~ to get through eating lunch Be we can set the table for supper. ~as he eating the ~ime you met him iu the can~? No - he was boring a hole in a t~ee. Boring a hole in a tree? Yes ~ I said ICCuzziei' -- Cuzzie? Yes, I call him cuzzie -- ~hy do you call him c~zzie? Guzz - he like~ it. OuchJ Double ouohJ I said, "Cuzzie what are you making a hole in the tree fo~?Ip and he said "I want to get something OUt'I. The sap. Ye --please. You donTt have to call him us~ne~o I wasntt calling him names. I was referring to the sap of the tree -- Sap oOm~S from tree6. B~pS comes f~om all ove~. Well, anyh~, sure euough OUt come dripping something sticky all over Hugols ~nds° The sap° The sa ~ I say he is not a sap~
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OEA~EY: BARON: CHARLEY: HARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: HARO~: 0HAZY: ~%RON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: B~AON : I didnit say he w~s, Bharley, n%y ears are not sound proof -- I heard what you said, All rlghtj ~o on with your story. The sticky stuff w~s dripping out and .... I donlt like anybody to call my cousin Hugo a sap because he is not ~ s~p, All right, hels not a sap. Plo~se donlt forget this. I wont. V~h~t about the sticky stuff? It was dripping all over my cousin Hugols hands. Dripping all OVer his hands? Yes - so I said "Take you~ hands ~ay, you big sap.~ You called him a big s~po gurs, But just a moment ago you s~id he w~snrt ~ sap. I changed my mind. Just then I looked up and ~hat did I see? What did you see? A bear~ A boar| Y~s, A oinammon hoax? ..........once over, plo&se? I said, was it a ci~n boar? I donlt know l,d~t w~s his flavor -- ~ll I kn~v is he stsrtod sniffing. He smelled the sap. Yes -- I go± ~ whiff Of him too.
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Y / CF~RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLZY: BARON: CHARLEY: HARON: OHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : Be~rs ~re crazy about sap. I could tell that the mlmute he jt~nped dowm. Ho~ could you tell? He sta~%ed r~uu~ing after Hugo. He started¸runnlng after Hugo? Yes - and Hugo didurt stop running till he got home. ~S he going back to the logging camp wiZh yon? NO ~ ~ HeIs got a good job now. ~at is he doing? H~S a b~r'o~ in a drug store. A bar~er in a drug sto~8~ YSB. ~{ha~ &~ his g~ties? He .... (LAUGH) Com~, HAron~ tell me wh~t are HugoIs duties as a "~rber in a drug sto~e? He shaves the ice for the soda fountain: Dh, BazonJ Oh, 8hat ley~ IEND OF PART II) WILLL~I K. ~LLS/D
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchesh'as and Fcanous LUCKY STRIKE thrills ~A.Y • TIt-u-BSDAY l " TTTt~ I~'T'IC'~ SATURDAY 10 to 11 P.M. ~ J~ ~W/ .L., ~.~ ~.., .D,. 1 .E., 0 WEAF~ASSOC~ATED _~ ~ ~_ have CHARACTER SATURDAY~ JANUARY 28, 1933 (~U$ICAL BIGNATURE) HOWA~D CLAI{EY: Ladle~ and gentlemen~ the LUOKY STRIKE Hour pregcntod for your pleasure by the ~nufacturors of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes sixty modern mlnute~ with th~ worldls finest d~nce orchestra~7 and th~ famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills ...... Tonight the ~gio Carpet speeds ~s between New York and 0hlcago ..... ho~ in New York we hav~ Gl~dys R~C~ a~ P~b~rt Halliday, our romantlc ~i~ers o~ musical ~omedF and o~r~tt~ h~ts, a~d Jack D~n~F azd his o~c~stra~ ~ho w111 b~i~g ~s th~ da~e music from the W~idor~ Astori~ Hot~l, Right ~t this I~m~t o~t in Chicago~ Hal Ke,~p &nd h~ musical ~oys are waltin~ for u~ to joi~ them ..... so letls be off with a flip of ~ ~witch. ON WITH THE DANCE HAL KEI~P....(WHISTLE~...0KAY C~IC~GO~ i
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ANNO~/NCER: -- (~ITL~S) ) ) ) ANNOUNCER: -2- ~l Kemp and his orchestra greet you from Chlc~o with The ~glc Carpet is eastward bound out of Chioago and back to the Pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YOP~KI HOWARD OLANEY: Did you ever think of th@% little LUCK~ ~TRIKE Cigarette of yours as the meeting place of doze~ of the worldrs fln~st tobaccos? To a tobacoo e~psrt~ th~tls what it la ~ and If you w~re to as~ hlm~ h~Id open up that llttlo Cigarettc a~d point out to you in thoBe lon~ Bilken ~tr~d~ ~he cholce~t~ tenderest tobaccos - every ~olden shred blending p~rfec~ly wlth its ~to.,..ev~ry fra~rsAnt ~tr~nd a~d and ~ellowed with the c~r~ and p~ti~nce of m~n who know and lov~ ~ob~ccos, And wh~ ~ou light a LUCKY~ a tobacco ~uuwould point out to ~o~ in the firm~ ~n~e a~h the ~ur~ slg~n of fi~s tobRcco q~allty ~ and this flr~ w~ite ash is especially ~ppr~clatod by wom~n who wi~h to avoid ashes dropping on filmy ~ow~s~ I~ LUCKY STRIKE th~ fln~st tobaccos ar~ brought to p~rf~ction by t~%t famous ~TOASTING" Proc~s.~.~the procss~ that imparts flavorful m~llow~mildne~s. And evory LUCEW iB packed full weight~ and firmly rolled to glvo you the utmost smoking enjoymont. Wh~ Fou consider all the w~alth of p~e tobacco ~oo~es~ that goes into that littl~ LUCKY STRIKE Of Vours - itI~ really rema~kab1@, i~nlt it, ~hat s~eh ~ truly fine ci~arsttc can b~ offered ~t thlrt~en cents, or two packages for twenty fiv~ c~nt~:
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(FOUR BARS OF 'IPJD~NCE" UP FULL= FADING DOWF TO BAOKING AS ~R. CLANEY SAYS:) Hsm:!ARD CLANEY: The bows and strings are ble~dlnS that melody into a setting of ro~nce~ as Gladys R2oe and Robcrt Halliday ~ke thoir In their firs~ song tonight they take you back in memory to ~he year of 191S whc~ the show "M1s~ Sprlng~i~eI~ wa~ plaFin~ On B~oadway. Pc~hap~ yo~ can ~call ~h~t ~oene in ~he Becond act, and ~he lovely waltz ~ong ~IN THE GA?~NN OF R0IAAN0~," Then from th~ gr~at ~o~berg operetta iIN~w Moon" Miss ~Ice si~g~ that d~lightful mclody, "ONE KI~S." 8ome of you ~y not r~e~r that ~how of 191S~ 'rTHE GODDESS OF LIBERTY" but n~arly ~v~ry one will recognize the unfo~settable song -- "I WONDER WHOIS EI~$1NG HFR N0~°r~ The footlights are com2ng up and silhouetted in the ~p0tlight~ against the backdrop ar~ Gladys Rice and Robert Halliday. (RICE AND HALLIDAY SING ~- "IN T}~ GARDEN OF ROMANCEII "ONE KISSIr '~I WONDER WH0~S KISSING P~R NOW'T) HOWARD CLANEY: ~iss Rice and ~r. Halliday will join us again a little later in thi6 program~ but me~nwh±le th~ ~agio 0arp~ is restless azd mu~t be going placcs and doi~ ~hln~,,..~o letls all p~y a visit to Jack D~nn~ who is e~t~rta~inS tonL~ht in th~ Empir~ Roo~ of th~ Waldorf Astorla.,,.H~r~ we go~ ON WITS THE DANCE JACK DENNYo,(WHISTLE),,OKAY WALDORF ASTORIA!
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-4- JACK DENNY: Good evening, ~v~ry on~. This is Jack D~nny invlt~nN you to ~uce to -- (TITLES) > k) ) JACK DENNY: ~ok ~o the Pilo~ up to~ and &cross ~o~rn, d~shes the Magic Carpet. (WHISTLF) OKAy NEW yoRE~ HOWARD CLANEY: NO name ~t~nds higher In the ~nnals of Ancrlcan industry ~han that of Charles ~. Sch~&b. As &n executive h~ is ~amir~d; ~s a philanthroplst~ he is f~med. He is an incurabl~ ODtil~ist~ b~cause he beliGves flr~ly in the good common s~nse, th~ ~billty ~nd th~ sanity of the avera~ Am~rlcan. Because of th~ t~aits of ~r. Schwab's and b~oaus~ Of his notabl~ inslstenc~ on "a sQ~&re deal" in associations ~ith his e~loyees, we h~ve j~st sent hi~ ~ telegram, It left here a~ I0:~9 E&stern Standard Timc~ I will read the message. It says: (Y~. CLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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N~AR~ CLANEY: (CONTINUES) NR. CHARLES N. SCHW~B, 73rd STREET, RIVERSIDE DRIVE NF~ YORK CITY 81R NANY TItaN YOU H~VE BEEN QUOTED AS BEING TIDLNKFUL FOR TP~ GOD-GIVEN GIFT OF BEING ~BLE TO SEE THE GOOD IN CT~R PEOPLE ~ND I,LaKING THE~ SEE THE GOOD IN YOU....YOUR F,~ITH ~ YOUR FELLOW ~EN AND YOUR C~AI~PIONSHIP OF THN SQUARE DEAL WILL ENABLE YOU TO ~PPRECIATE THIN WELCO~LE NEWS TO THE ~KERS OF A~IERIC~ ..... T}~ NIGHT ~RTICLE AT THE RIGHT PRICE WILL ALWAYS DO BUSINESS AND IN OFFERING CERTIFIED CP~O AT T~ UNIQUE VALUE OF FIVE CENTS STRAIGHT THREE FOR TEN CENTS WZ GIVE AI~ERICAN S~OKERS A SQUARE DEAL....CERTIFIED CHEI~O OFFERS FINE QUALITY..UNIQUE VALUE ANN IN £INISHED UNDER GLASS ..... TODAY CRE~ SALE~ ARE THE LARGEST IN CIGAR HISTORY JUSTIFYING OUR BELIEF AND YOURS THAT GOOD CO~ES FRON DOING GOOD, ..WITH SINCERE REGARDS .............. (SIGNED) VINCENT RIGGIO VICE-PP~SID~#T IN CHARGE OF SALES THE AMERICAN TOBACCO COI4PANY That telegram, ladies and gentlemen, will in a few minutes be delivered &t the home Of Cb&rls8 ~. Schwabb Its message is also a mc~sage to every ci~r smoker in America - the ~ews that you can now obtain flne~ lock-filler Certlfi~d Cremo clg~r8 at five oents 8~raightI three Nor ten c~nts. ......................... STATION BREAK .........................
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-8- HOWARD OLANEY : This is where wo rid~ again.•.0ver New Yo~k, New JErsey and PennsylVania ..... and there's Elchlgan and Illinois....and now welre coming into Ohlc~go. Hal Kemp and his boFs from the Black Hawk Restaurant are rlgh~ down there, so ~- ON WITH THE DA/~CE HaL KEIiP...CWHISTLE)... .OKAY CHICAGO: ANNOUNOER: Once again fror~ Ohlcago, Hal Kemp and hic orchestra play-- (TITLES) ( ( ( ( AN)TOUNCER: The Magic Carpet speeds from the shores of Lake ~lohlgan to the Atlantio Ocean. (WHISTLE) OFAY NEW YORK~
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-7- (FOUR 5ARS OF "ROIiANCEr'L[P FULL, FADING DOV~N FOR BACKING AS ~R. CLAICEY SAYS: ) HOWAP~D CLANEY: The stage is s~t.....and the orchestra In the pit, conducted by Dr. Katz~n is playing the overture as the curtain rises on ~nother pleasant interlude of romance. Gl~dys Rice and Robert Halllday, our romantic young couple have chosen first Of all the song "I LOVE YOU", a~ltlng melody from the show "Little Jesse James." Following that they will reminisce again as they sing from that great success l'Mada~e Sherry" the hauntln4~ song, "EVERY LITTLE M0"/EMENT HAS A 14~ANING ALL ITS OWN." Those of you who can remember 'I~adame 8henry" will also recall another successful show which was produced the sake year....'Sprlng ~aid" and the melody taken from that soore...."DAY DREAMS.lj (RICE AND HALLIDAY SING: r'l LOV~ YOUr' "EVERY LITTLE MOVE/LENT HAS A M~ANING OF ITS OWN" T'D~Y DREA~S")
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HOWARD CL~NSY: Here's a press dispatch from Ol~h&, Nebraska: Students of Creighton University who smoke were found to have an average of 87 per cent in their studies, while those who do not were found to have an average of SS per cent....that is, says the survey, the smokers stood higher in their classes. Now, ladies and gentlemen, of course none of us who relish a fine cigarette pretends to believe that s=mklng makes us more intelligent. But the fact is, the most aleTt of todayls young people have pretty generally discovered the pleasure and relaxation there is in a fins, truly mild cigarette. Modern coIlege men and women have found dqlightful enjoyment in the smooth mildness and delicious flavor of LUCKY STRIKE -- the modern cigarette. The fine~ rich flavor they enjoy so much in LUCKIES is born of the choicest tobaccos -- the cream of rsany tobacco crops. That delightful mellow-mildness is blended into every long, golden strand of your LUCKY by the exclusive, scientlflc~lly exact Toasting Process. And when you light a LUCKY, you'll be glad to find that it burns with a long, firm ash.....a solldI white ash that resists flaking and fslllng on your clothes. That pure white ash is a sign of the fine tobacco quality that's packed so firmly into every LUCKY STRIKE ~- the cigarette that brings you the utmost smoking enjoyT~ent, as its new price -- thirteen cents or two p~ckages of LUCKIES for a quarter, brings you the utmost in cigarette value.
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HOWARD CLANEY: It wonlt take long to m~ke the next hop...,the Waldorf Astoria isnlt r~any blocks away and right there Jack Dermyrs ~aalc fits perfectly into the subdued surroundings of the beautiful Empire ROOF.° Youlre on your way now, SO open wide the doors Jack Denny... wefre going to land right on the dance floor. ON WITH TP~ DANCE, JACK DFNNY..(WHISTLE)..OKAY WALDORF ASTORI~ JACK DENNY: This time we play -- (TITLES) ( ) C ) C ) C I ( ) J~OK DENNY: Carpet, back to the pilot. (WHISTLE) HOWABD CLANET: Over l~anhattan~s bright lights speeds the Haglc 0KAY~ NEW YORK~ And so,'ladies and gentlemen, another LUCKY STRIKE Hour draw~ to a close, On Tuesday night ~o'll present "The Barton H~othersI" another s~se ts~ke~ fro~ the files of the United It~t~s Bureau of Inve~tIgatlon~ Department of lusticej ~t Washington~ D.C~ The dance musio for that evening will he furnished by Anson Weeks a~d his Srch~strg. . Until Tuesday then -- goodnight! (HU~I~AL SIGNATURE) Thi~ progr~E has come to you fro~ New York City and Chicago, Illlnols~ through the faoili~les of the Natlon~l Broadoa~ting Co~pany. • ~Gl!iCY/chi!leen 1/28/33 ****~*****~*
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---
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes wlth the world's finest Dance Orchestras and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thr//le TUESDAY * THURSDAY J " LTT,,"~ '~'V'r","~ SATUHDAY l0 to 11 P.M. ~. J~ ~// U ~'~'£ r"~ WEAF~ASSOCIATED ~ ~ ~ b,n,e CHARACTER., TUESDAY JANUARY 31, 1933 ( ~USICAL ~IGNATURE) HOWARD CLANEY : Ladies and gentlemen, the LUCKY STRIKE Hour presented for your Dleasure by the manufacturers of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes - s~x~y mod~rzJ mi~8 ~%~b ~h~ ~orldls f~nsst d~oe orchestra~ and the famou~ LUCKY STRIKE thrills ....... We b~ing !.ou tonight a ~h~illing dramatlzatlon of au ac~u&l ¢a~e from ~hc files o~ ~he O~li~d ~ta~es ~dreau Of Investi~ion~ Dep~rtme~t of J~s~ice at Wa~hin~on~ D.C° Thls ~a~e is called ,ThT/ ~RTON ~ROTHE~87~I &nd concerns the most vlciou8 t>~p~ of crimlnal....th~ ruthl~ss ~iller ..... ~u~ before the cu~taln ~ise~ in th~ ]~glc Ca1~et Th~atr~ we'll take ~ auick trip to th~ danc~ floo~.....Anson Woek8 and hi~ Orchestra from th~ Se~ Glad~ of the ~otel ~t. R~is have a pl~ntlful supply of m~lody...so l~s call for i~° ON WITH THE D~NCINI ~i~SON.... (WHISTLE)...OKAY A~E~ICA!
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ANSON WEEKS: Good evenlng~ everybody. greetlug you with -- (TITLES) ) ) ) .) ) ) This is AnBon Weeks ANSON WEEKS: The Magic Carpet speeds back to the Pilot, (WHISTLE) OEAY, NEW YOEKI
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HOWARD CLANEY : T~tls flne~ Anson~ I C~n just s~e th~ milllo~s danoi~g to those tuneB ..... and say°....Did you see that news story tellln~ Of n~w~ olosely-guard~d experlmezts in televlsion~ and predlctlng a~ amazing development in 19337 I wish those secret ~xperlme~ts w~re Buoc~sful ~Igh~ ~OW ~- I could show you~ right before your eyesj an important fact ~bout the clgarettes y0~ ~mok~. I would open up a LUOKY STRIKE clgarctte....and Zld point out to you that eve~ whez that oi~arette i~ opez~d~ th~ tobaccos ret~1~ their flrm~ cyli~drlcal shape° Try it yours~1~ ~ ~eeing is b~llevlng~ You'll notlc~ that ~very LUCKY STRI~E is well packed, full weight; that it contains long, uniform strands of tobacco -- ~o coar~1 bulky pi~c~ ~o l~rge~ hard stems. Th~ tobacco in Four LUCEY STRIKE is th~ flnest in the world, bought without regard for ~xp~nse; ~d ~d ~le~ with ~h~ u~mo~t ~arc~ ma~ extra flavorful a~d i~llow-mild b~ the f~mous I~TOA~TINGII Proo~ss. But ~eelng ~s beli~vlng -- and youtll ~e~ th~ proof of ~ll those f~ct~ right before your eyes when you light ~ LUfiEY....For LUCKY STRIKE burns ~ith flr~ solid aBh that ~Ists flakln~ a~ dropping on your clothe~..~°a white ash~ my frlend~ that ~s the unmistakable si~ Of th~ fizest tobacco quality. With a~ oi~rcttc~ the proof is in the ~mok~ng°,.when you ~oke a LUCKY~ you'll ~i~ ~ it~ firm white a~hI i~ it~ smooth~ mellow mil~n~ss~ th~ proof Of th~ utmost ~igarotte quality -- ~ow yours at the utmost in cigarette ~lue~ for LUCKY ~T~IKE is now two p~ckages for twenty-£1ve cents.
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HOWARD C~EY~ -4- Now welre In the Naglo Carpet Theatre....the footlights brighten the edge of the ¢u~taino...a~d a hush falls over the ~rea~ audience. The dra~tlz~tion which we ar~ abo~t to bring you is oall~d "THE BAR~ON BROTHERSl~ ..... a real case taken from the files Of the United States Bureau of Investigatlon~ Department of Justice~ at WaBhington, D.C~ Even now Special Agent Five is receivlng instzuction~ as theF flash through the ai~ from headquarters. (WHISTLE) ON WITH THE 8HOW~ (FIRST PART -- "THE BARTON BROTHERS")
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HOWARD SSANE~ : The Federal Agents are spreading the net for the Barton brothers. Will they succeed in stopping the wild dash of these two gunmen? In a few minutes w~'ll present the second 8md final act of this dra:~, but now you have time for a few dances, so letls join Anson Weeks and his boys~ ON WITH THE L~ANCE....(WHISTLE).°.OKAY AMERICA| ANSON WEEKS: ANSON WEEKS: We play this time -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) ) Here goes the }~agic Caz~oet. (WHISTLE) OKAY HEW YORK! HOWARD SLANEY: A pioneering son carries on the pioneering spirit of his illustrious fatherL Kermit RooseveIt, President of the Roosevelt Steamship Oompany, Vice-Pr~sldent of the Intsr~tlolml Mercantile Marine Cor~pany, and an official of the United States Lines, continues in the spirit of his father, Theodore HEosevelt....to send the Amcric~ Flag on great liners to every oornsr of the globe. It was under Kermlt Rooseveltts regime that the great new S. S. Manhattan, largest ship ever built in America, lws successfully launched; ~a~d her sister-ship, the S. S. Washington, is now being completed. (IDR. SLANGY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: 0HIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: 0HIEF: Where? (LOW VOICE) In the car -- that man. Where? Oh7 I see now -- itI8 only ~ trampl asleep. E tran~o? Y~h° Should I sook him and wake him up? NoI letls move ~lo~g. (FADING) Try this next car, huh? (FADING IN. DULLY) All right. Take a look. Say, what ails you, chief? Nothing. W~II, then -- B~m--- Huh? Soma back here. Where to~ That o%her boxcar. What for? (THINKING HARD) That tramp, ~sleep. H~'s not a tr~mp -- and hels not ~sleep. 0h~zley? There was something fa~illar ~bout ~he sleeve of -- the sleeve of hls coat. (FADES QUICKLY) lhrry~- Hurry! (FADES IN) Herets the torch -- flash the light on him. (WOODENLY) Yeh. Flash the light on him. It's Oharl~y, all ri~t. And -- (HORROR) Good lord, Sam~ -- look what they done to him.
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HOWARD CLANEY: (CONTINUES) ~cause he is a re~l plo~l~....because h~ ha8 carried o11 ~he finest traditions of American buslnesB....we have just sent ~r. Hermit Roosevelt this telegram:-- ~R. KERMIT ROOSEVELT, PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT STEAIASHIP C01~PANY #i BROADWAY NEW YORK CITY SIR: WE SALUTE YOU AS A FELLOW FIONEEBo.,oJUST AS YOU HAVE DEVELOPED A GREAT STEAMSHIP BUSINESS FOR THE A~ERIOAN FLAG SO HAVE WE PIONEERED IN THE CIGAR INDUSTRY BY OFFERING A REALLY FINE CIGAR AT LI~TI~ 00ST....CERTIFIED aRE~O AT FIVE CENTS STRAIGHT THREE FOR TEN OENTS,, ..0ERTIFIEN CREMO PIONEERED IN MODERN L~ETHODS OF ~ANUFACTUF~ THE FIRST AND ONLY ONE TO BRING SI~OKERS THE CLEANLINESS OF A CIGAR FINISHED UNDER GLASS....NOT ONLY YOU BUT ALL CAPTAINS OF YOUR SHIPS EVERY PASSENGER AND ~ENBEB OF YO~R CREWS CAN NOW ENJOY THE UTMOST SIGAH FLE~SURE AT LOWEST OOST...BEST WISHES FOR SUCCESS OF YOUR GRE~T NEW STHE~SHIP THE E S WASHINGTON ..... WITH KINDEST FNREOHAL REGARES ......... (GIG~Z~) VINCENT RIGGXO VICE-PRESIDENT IN CHARGE OF SALES THE AI~ERIOAN TOBAO00 COMPANY Ladies and Gentlemen this telegram is even now on its way to Ker~ft Roosevelt~ Prssident of the Roosovelt ~teamshIp Company. It Gontains news of an Important ~d~nc~ in the olgar industry ~- OBRTIFIED CREHE, that fine long-filler ciga~ is now fiv~ cents straightI thre~ fo~ ten sents~ ........................... STATION BREAK ............................
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HOWARD SLANEY : Thercls lots of m~81c ~nd exaltcm~t ahead,..weIll have the thrills in jus% a minute,,.but Anson Weeks an~ his Hotel St, Re~is 0rchestra have %he music ~ight now, so ~- OH WITH T~ DANaE ANSON WEEKS...(WHISTLE)~.0KAY A~ERISA: ANS0N WEEKS: The ~amclnH contlnucs ~ith -- (TITLES) ANSON WEEKS: Carpet. Sack to the m~n at the controls dashes the ~gic (WHISTLE) OKAY HE~ YOF~I
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HOWARD SLANEY : Again we sit before the great stage in ths l~gic 0arpe~ Tbeatreo....a s~g that Stretches acrosB the whole oountry .... and the scen~ ±B set for the last act of qTHE BARTON BROTHE~B~, a r~al case f~om the filee of the ~ited States Bureau of Investigation. Kid and Floyd BArton, caught with an automobile they had stolen, were b~Ing brought back from Texas by the Sheriff of ~uscoges, Oklahoma and his deputy. ThBy overpowered the two officers, kiEled the deputy and left the sheriff chalned to a tree° Since that ti~e their ready guns hav~ brought swlf~ t~agedy to any one who opposed them. In Livingston, ~onta~a theykilled a police o~fio~r and left town with a girl named Louise who had joined them there. The Ba~ton B~others dlsoover that ~heF are wantsd by ~he Federal Agents and have declded to s~eal anothe~ car and keep travel~ng. I~s dangerous b~si~gg to stop th~s~ Eillers~ b~t now the F~deral Agents a~e On their trail Be le~Is watch them work. Special Agent Five Is waiting for o~d~r~ from head~ar~rs~ (WHISTLE) ON WITH THE SHDWI (SECOND PART -- I'THE BARTON BF~THERS")
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HOWARD CLANEY: That, ladies and gentlemen, dsflnltely proves agaln that cold steel is no match for brains. The Barton brothers trl~d to blaz8 a tzail across ths country with bullets but their mad career came to an abrapt end, Next Tuesday nlght we~ll enact another case from the United States Government files in Washington, D.C.~o..and now back to the business of dancingo~..herels Anson Weeks, that skilled weaver of danes patterns,.~.whose reputation as a muslo-maker has followed him all the way from sunny California to New York town .... hels ralsln~ his baton now....so letls give him his cue| ON WITH THE DAN01Nl ANSON..(WHISTLE),.OKAY A~ERICA! ANSWN W~EKS~ Swing your partners to -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) ) ANSON WEEKS: The ~glo Carpet is on its ways. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK|
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-10- HOWARD 0LANEY Th~nks Anson,.~.thatls another grand load of tunes .... we'll call on Fou again in ~us~ a minute. H~re1~ an interesting i~em abo~t one of Amerloals oraok trains -- the 'TOeorge W~shington" of %he Ohes~peake and Ohio ~il~oadj the only oompletelF ~Ir~condltioned train in the world~ TO add ~ little touoh of hospltality~ the dining car steward always p~sses a silvBr chest of LUCKY STRIKE CiEare~tes, offering every diner the enjoym~n~ of & fine elgarette at the conclusion of his or he~ mealo ~ow well the management knows that travelers llke to enjoy tne b~st of sm0oth~ mild~ even-burnlng clgaret%esl And by servln~ LUCKIES the fine lln~n napezy of the George Washln~tonts dining c~r is proteoted as ~ll - for you~ll notice that LUOKY STRIKE always burns with a fir~ white ash tha~ resists the tendency to flake and drop. That, my frlend~, is because every LUOKY is filled full weight with long~ silken strands of the fin~s~ pures%, mos~ ~xp~nslve tobaccos. And you oan bc sure that these choloe ~obaceos ar~ mellow-mild and d~liclo~s b~cause th~ylr~ rlqDASTEDI" Thatts why smokers who know ~n~tls what ~r~ so unlvers~lly in f~vor of LUOKIES ~ ~speclally so today when your dealer offers you LUCKIES at two packages for twenty-fi~e oents.
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Everybody out on the d~nce floor as we plan -- (TITLES) "<.-~ ( ) (. .) ( ) ( ) (. .) (. .) ANSON WEEKS: HOWARD CLANEY: Weirs off on that short and speedy hop. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORE! Thus~ ladies ~d gentlsmsn~ we come to the end of another LUCKY STRIKE Hour. Donlt forget Thursday night 18 laugh nighto...Jack Pearl. the B~ron ~unchausen will be there and so will Abe Lyman and his Orchestra. Until Thursday then, Noodnlght~ (~USIOAL SIGNATURE) THIS TN THE NATIONAL BROADOANTING COMPANY. AGENCY/chill~en
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SPECIAL A~E~,T FIVE EPISODE XIV ~rTRg BARTO~ BROTHERSjr PARTS I AND II FOR LUCKY STRIKE HOUR JANUARY ~i~ 19~3
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EPISODE XIV ~'THE BA~TO~ BROTHERS" PARTS I AND II OFFISIAL STCRY BY GEORGE F. ZI~ER DRANITI ZED BY FINIS PARR AED GREGORY WILLIAI4SOH CAST: FLOYD FARTON MID 3ARTON SHERIFF JACK [4AYES (~USROGEE) DEP[~TY SHERIFF TO~SII£~S (KUSEOGEE) LOUISE PRL~TICE OFFICER H~XA~L (LIVINGSTON, ~ONT.~ CHIEF OF POLICE, (LIVINGSTON) ASSISTANT CHIEF, (LIVINGSTON) STOREKEEP2R SPECIAL AGENT OARVER SPECIAL AGENT WORTERS OFFICER FLINT IvL%CKIE (PHOENIX ~ARSHAL FRASER (TEi~PE~ ARIZ L[EXICAN ~I~EPHERDER LUIS) NURSE DOCTOR NOTE: This property is duly prot~otod by copvright and ~y not be used in any mannor without the authority of the o's~n~r thereof. It is authorized for broadcast over National Broadcastln~ Company~ Inc. facilities only on the d~te First indicated herein.
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~F~VE EPISODE XIV "THE BARTON B~DTHERS" PART I VOICE: ( WIP~LESS BUZZ) CLEAR THE WIRFS ..... CLEAR THE WIHES ..... SPECIAL AGEFT FIVE....SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ...... THROUGH COURTESY OF J. EDGAR HOOVER....DIRECTOR UNITED STATES NTJREAU OF INVESTIGATION....YOU ARE PERbIITTED TO R~LATE AUTHENTICATED STORY OF t'Th~ BARTON BROTS~ERS" ..... BASED ON CASE NO. 2S-5190 ..... FILES OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... DEPART~LENT OF JUSTICE ........... WASHINGTON, D.C ..... SPESIAL AGENT FIVE, PROCEED ....... ( WIHELESS BUZZ] SPECIAL AGENT FIVE: Speeisl AEen% Five talking....the 8tory of "The Barton Bro%hers"....real peopl~..,.real places ..... r~al Glues ...... a real cas~. ..... for obvlo~8 reaso~s~ fictitious ~es are ~sed thro~hout....our case begins in She tovrn of Sanderson, Texas. (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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HAYES : FLOYD: SIL~H8: I~ID: 8 Iki~$ : ~L4YE$ : KID: KID: S ILIL~8 : EID: 81L@[S: HAYES: -2- All right, boys. Just get in the oar, ~nd don't m~ke %rouble. O.K., O.K., Sheriff. Don't hurry mE. We got lots of time. Yes indeedy. We got lots of ~ime to take you fellows where you're golng. Yeah? Where'~ that? You know ~ood ~nd well, Kid Barton -- 0klaho~a S~ate Penltenti~ry, for ste~lin' this car out of !luskogec. And welre t~king you and the c~r back together. Pretty C1/t~ Of us~ donlt you fi~'er? (LOW VOICE TO HIS BBOT~R) 8it tight, Floyd~ and ~elll show 1@m ~orB o~t~. What did you say? Nothin'. Nothin'. Th~n get in zhe back se~t~ H~ye~, yo~ and Floyd ~et in front. YIII sit beslde you, Kid. You'll h&ve to, if you don't want one Of our ~rms tore off. (CLINK OF HANDCUFFS) You have to keep this 8hackle on my wrist, Sherlff? Yes, I hav~ to. Sit down. (AUTO DO0~ CLOSED) All set up in front, Hayes? (SLIGHT DISTANCE OFF) All rlght - I've got Floyd right here where I ~eckon he can't do no har~. Le~'s get started then. (AUTOM0~ILE ENGINE AND GEARS STARTING) The f~mo~s B~rton b~other~ -- On a one-w~ ~r~D to ~hskogce~
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SO[HiD INTED~SUDE: SI~S: KID: KID: HID: SIC{S: KID: KID: KID: FLOYD; KID: i. AUTOHODILE EFFECT AND HORN. (FADES ON SIGNAL) (FADING IS) What's the matter, Kid? Can't you sit still? No use fi~gettin' around. We got a long way to go yet. I wish yould take the iron off my wrist, Sheriff. Not a chance, Kid. Forget It. Well, you ainlt got any on my other hand. I don't need it -- I just want to be sure you donlt take wings and fly thor's all, (VERY DEADLY) Ycah? Well, that's ~herc you made a b16~ ~llstake, brother. Here -- what !~ou doln!! Drawls' yo @9!n out of th~ holster, with my left hand~ Hayes -- Rayes -- look out----for the love of --- (TWO SHOTS FOLLOWED BY GF~AN FROM HAYES) I Hot hlm~ I Hot him in the back, Floyd. Grab hold of the wheel, qulok~ If you think youlre goinI to get away with this -- Shut Up~ Sheriff, if you dontt w~nt to So% plug~sd too. (AUTO STOPS) Nice lonely stretch of road here. Is Hayes dead? Yeah, sure. Kld Barton, tha~ was cold-blooded n~rder~ If you think yo~Ire going to get Kway with It~ youIll have to murder me too~ Shut up7 Simms, I told you once. Get }L%yesI keys, ~loyd.
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FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: KID: SI~8: KID: FLOYD: KID; FLOYD: 8IWWB: FLOYD: 81k~18: KID: 81~S: FLOYD: -4- I got 'cm. Turn yourself loo~c. (OLINKING ~TAL) That's what I'm doing. All right, get me out of this handcuff. Hold still. (CLINK OF HANDCUFFB) ~lere~ FO~ 60, Kid. Tou - you pair of -- Never mind about that, Simms - we know what we ate. Get out of this maohlnc. What ~re you ~olnN to do~ 8hoot me in the back too? We'll sec. Get out of th~ car. (OFF) Come on off of the road too, Sheriff. (FADING I~) H~re's what to do, Floyd. Ohaln him to this trc~ with his own handcuff~. I'll drag tho dead one out of the oar to keep him company. F~t Four armB aro~nd ~hls ~re~ behind Fou, 8herlff. Going to le&ve me ~crc to st&rve~ hu~? (OLINK OF HANDOUFFS) Welre broadmind~d, Simms. ~Ve don't care whathaDpenB to you. You don't need to tell me ~hat. But l'll tell you something -- youIll never get away with ~hi~. Youtr~ on top now~ b~% 8o~h~r~ 8om~ d~F -- (FADING IN) Yeah? 8ome daF what? The law will catch up %o you. (KID LAUGHS) Don!~ ~alk to him, Kid. Th'ow the de~d one down and let's hike. We~ve got business up the road.
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BABE: SOL~D INTENLUDE~ CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: .5- Yeah, business. But we won't hlks. Wefts going to ride from now on Floyd -- ride llke the milllonai~e~ do. Some on~ ~et in the c~. 1. EOTOH CAR STARTS AND HUN8 ALONG. 2. PHONE RINGS. (RECEIVER PICKED VP) Police Department -- this is the Chief speaking. Yes, ~ood ~rning~ sir. Yes, I heard about it First thir~ I e~me in. It m~ke~ the fourth robbery in three weeks. Well~ you bet IIm goinI to do sozothln~ soon as I g~ a l~ad to go on. All right, sl~. I~ll let you know when I do. Goodbye. (RECEIVER CLICK) By Jiminy1 that 1J~kes me ~d, Who was it, Chief? The Mayor. Yourd thi~k I arranged them b~r~laries. Well, folks are gettinI sort of on their ear 8.bo~ Thatls wh~t makes me s~re iris out-of-town crooks doI~I the ~schief~ Sam° In a city th~ size ol Llvingston~ with ~very on~ on the w'a%ch~ w~ld of heard of ~ny suspiolouB str~ng~rs. ~y guess says ltls p~of~s~ional thiev~s, a~l th~yl~e tra~ellinI in a fast c~r that ~ets ~e~ out oI r~nge 01 the alarm. Wh~t you goi~I to do about itj Chief? (KNOCK ON DOOR)
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CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: K~XALL: ASSISTANT: HAXALL: CHIEF: HAXALL: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: CHIEF: I got Charley Haxall oomin~ in. Hems just a kid, but hels smart, (HNOC~) Want me to go to the door? NO. ~okon l~Is CharleE. (CALLS) Come in. (DOOR OPENS) (FADIN@ IN) Kornini oAief. Hello, Sam. Hello, Charley. W~erers your u~Iform? Chief told I~e to l~vs it home. ~faatls ~p~ sir? Same thing. Another b~rglary last night. Charley, Itm puttlnI you On plain clothes det~ll. Fine. ~t do I do? Just snoop arced for the time being. Cover the auto-camps ani the jungles where the hoboes hang out in the daytime. Then go down to the freight yard at night and keep your eyes open. You think theyrll tr~7 anothor box~c4~r robbcry~ Chief? Eight. Anyway~ the freiHht-yard's a place where theE been ~ couple oI times before, so we wan~ to watch it. Understand, Charley? Sure, chief. If theyrre still around, I~]I get a line on lem. ThaZls the boy; you come in here each morning and give me a report. Livingston, HontaD~ ainlt a very big city, but we got hose sense, fill be switched if wsJre goln~ to hav~ orim~s wlthout tryinI to find out who done lem. ALl right~ son -- heat it -- and good l~ck to you,
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SOUND INTERLUDE: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ~'3SISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: AESISTART: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: CHIEF: ASSISTANT: -7- 1. DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS. 2. ~IILROAD ENGINE STARTS AND FADES INTO DISTANCE. Doggon~ Doggo~ej whatls the matter with Charley~ I gonlt k~ow~ Chief. He didnlt report ~his morning. I kno__~w you don't know] Do~gone. Now we got to t~amp through these f~eight yards ~ll night looking for him. I wonder if Gharle~, could have hung up with any trouble. Trouble? What do you think we got? Two more boxcar robberies last night~ Y~ah~ I know about that. (LONG ~ELANSH~LY BLAST OF LOCO~OTIV~WHISTLN IN DISTANCE, FADING) Wharfs that? Reckon thatls the northbound mldnlgh~ mail. Ehols been out Ibout fo~ mln~tes...tlm~ to blo~ for Crawford~s ~illo Ycah. that's rlght~ Donlt yo~ think we better look through this cut oI I 8upRosE so. This doorrs open...Irll flash my torch inside. Soc anythlng~ No. (FADES) Tzy this one. (FADING IN) O.K. (PAUSE) Say~ Whatls the trouble? Who's that in there?
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SOUND INTERLUDEZ FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: LOUISE: FLOYD: LOUISE: KID: LOUISE: FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: KID: -$- I~ TP~IN WHISTLE LONG AND MOUP~FUL IN DISTANCE. 2. MOTOR CAR RL~[NIEG OVER ROAD. Listen, kid. What do you have to have this dame with us for? %~hy do you always drag her alonE? Itr~ begging for trouble. Ah, forget it, Floyd. 8o far Itts cops thatls had the trouble -- not us, You ought tolve left Louise back in Livingston -- Itm telli1~ you. I don't see why we had to leave 51vingston. The ladies at the auto oa~ were real nice. Real nice, huh? Nell, itls too bad the cop in the freight-yard wasnlt the same way -- Real nice, huh? We ought to have left you back there. Oh, is that so5 you cheap gorilla| Never mind Floyd, Louise -- I wonlt ditch you. Course you wonWt~ honey boy. (RENEWING THE ATTACK) Listen, Kid -- this dame is just one more way the p_qlice have of tracking us. Supposing they get to Looking for two men and a wo~n-- thatls e~sier to find than just two men. Well~ thatts one oi the bre~ks~ Floyd. You c~nlt get 'ez all. Itls llke how was we to know a kid would come along and turn loose ~hat Muskogee Sheriff we left handcuffed to tho tree? (REGRETFUL) We could have shot hlm~ That's what IIm telling you. We ought to pl&y safe ~nd -- Cut ~he beefin~, Louise stays.
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FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: XID: LOUIRE: EID: STOREKEEPER: LOUISE; STOREKEEPER: LOUISE~ STOREKEEPER: LOUISE: STOREKEEPER: LOUISE: STOREKEEPER: LOUISE: -io- Is that rlght? Well, you get a load o~ this- - Wait a mi~u~e~ therels a general sto~e by the road. Reckon I'll pull up for a second. (CAR STOPS) ~[hat you want in the store? k~tches. I want a smoke. Louise, run in and get some m~tches, willy~? (FADING) All right~ Kid. I'll be right back. (FADING) Sure. S~e, Floyd, I get service. You donlt. (SCREEN DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS. S~LL BELL RINGS) Good day, wbat c~n I do for ye? (FA~ING I~) All I want Is a box of matches, mister. Tobacco counterls yondor, ~Iss. ~tches are there. Step ovcr~ will you? (FADING) What you got over here? A postoffic~, too. Yes~ malam - a~d I be th~ postmaster. (GASPS) S~y -~ those posters there on ~he bulletin board -- az8 they ~- I mean -- well--- Wbatls the trouble? Recognize any o~ then fu~itivcs from the law? (CHOKING DO~ FRIG'~T) Uh -- uh -- wbat~s this one right he~? Let me see which one ye mean. Well~ young worn, that therers the regIlar gov1~ent handhill~ posted against ~hese Barton Brothe~s from ~uskogeeI Oklaho~° But how can the government know about them?
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S TO RFXEEPER: LOUISE: KID: LOUISE: KID: LOUISE: KID: LOUISE: KID: STOREKEEPER: KID: STOREKEEPER: LOUISE: MID: LOUISE: Violation of the Motor Vehicle ~%eft Act. That makes le~ fugitives fro~ Uncle Sam, no ~ter wh~t else they done. And I ~iderst~nd those fellows done ~lenty. (HORN IS BLOW~I OUTSIDE) (FEVERISK%Y) Just a minut~ - Just a miuute ~- (OUTSIDE) Wait a minute~ Louise -- llm oomin' in, too. (-RAISING VOICE) Keep out~ Listen ..... (SCRE~ DOOR aND BELL AS BEFORE) (FADING IN) Hush Four fac~, before I smack it fo~ you. Heyj there~ old-tlmer. Fetch a p~ck of razor blades~ (LOW VOICE) Kid -- look up there. You ~ot to get out -- beat it -- (WONDERIiiG) What's --- (CATCHES SIGHT OF POSTER) Oh~ that handbill° You been talkin' about it? Yes. I had ~o know w~hat it was. Where's your brains~ you bi~dhead? (TO STOREKEEPER) N~ver mind the zazor blades. IIvo d~cided I don't ~ed a ~have. Don't need the shaw, young feller? What do you think? (SUDDENLY BECOMING CHATTY) Well, Itll have to take you~ word for it° It~ so dum nearsighted~ yo face ainlt ~nythinI but a blur acro~t th&t counter to mo. Y~s, s±~. ~y f~th~r was tho sa~ way~ (ALMOST COLLAPSING W~TH RELIEF) Then hc can't r~co~nize Fou ..... oh~ Sh~t ,~p, ~n for the c~r° (FADING) All ~ight -- Com~ on, qulc~ly.
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STOREKEEPER: FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: EIH: LOUISE: EID: VOICE: (SCFAEN DOOR AND BELL) (FADING) Say -- don't you want the matches? (FADING IN) Well, wharfs eating you two? (BEGE~q~I~G TO ~ET OVER SHOCK) Listen, Floyd. We'rc Federal fugitives now. Huh? Th~F got the hand bills out for c~r-ste~llnI• That means ther~Is Feder~l AEents looki~4~ fo~ u~ in ale 48 8t&~es, WhatIll ~e do? Just what we been dolnI! They canE% ~et us if we shoot flrst~ They all fold up when the old equ~llz~ hits lem~ Got i~ the car, Louise -- we'll get away From this ~tor~ f~st. ~o did too much taEkln' Inside. Here I am. All rlght, Floydp step on the button -- WEE11 ~t out oI ~hls ~t~te and pick up a different oar to ~o on with. And God h~lp the flrst guy th~ tri~s to slow us up. (~OTOR NOISE SPURTS UP AND OUT) (WIRELERE BUZZ) HOW WILL FEDERAL AGENTS HALT ORI~E CAB~ER....OF RECKLESS YO~G OUTLAWS?...,FOLLOW LUOKY STRIKE HOUR .... FOR FINIBH WITH TRAGEDY AND TREILLB.. ................. (WIRELBS$ BUZZ)
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-13- SPE01AL AGENT, ,FIVE EPISODE XIV tiTHE BARTON BROTHERB" PART II (WIF~LESN BUZZ) VOICE: 0LEAR T}~ ~IRES ..... CLEAR TH~ WIRES ..... SPEOIAL AGENT FI-WE ...... STORY OF "TUN BARTON BROTHERS11 ..... BABED ON CASE NO. 26-5190 ..... FILEB OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF IN~rEZTIGATION ..... DEPART~ENT OF JUBTICE .... WASHINGTON, D,C ...... PROCEED WITH 0ASE....IN CITY OF SPOEANE ~ ~ASRINGTON ............... , .................. (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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KIDi FLOYD: LOUISE: FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: LOUISE: KID: FLOYD: LOUISE: FLOYD: LOUISE: FLOYD: LOUISE: KID: LOUISE: KID: -14- O.K. ~~ Nobody ~r6und: 6pen up the garage door, Floyd, Yeah. Get suit& mE way~ Loulse~ ~nd giv~ me room. OhI stop Four bossi~ around. I1m o~tta the way. All right thsn~ look out. (GARAGE DOOR PUSHED BASK) Not so loud~ Floyd. DO yah want the owner down on usl Well~ what's the ~tter~ I thought you was the equallzi~I kid. DO you want this gazage opened ~p or don't 7ah~ (PUSHES DOOR) There. Now we san see. What sort of o~r is it? Nash tourlng. Pretty red -- but if ~nybody donrt like it, WSIII spray tom with equalizer. Well, Kid, you and me head south in this little bus, huh? H~ow about me? NO, LOUiSe, this time you loss, Meaning what? llve finally Not the Kid around to my way of thtnkln~. (QUIETLY) Is that right, Kid? Ye~h. (HURT) Then -- O.K. If that's the way you w~nt it, Kid, Itls O.X° Listen, Loulsc, it won't work -- we canlt go on llke this. It would Just put the whole orowd of us In ths hoosegow. Floyd and me they c~n't catch, beeause we move and shoot too cuick. With a dame ~long itts different.
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LOUISE: KID: LOUISE: KID: LOUISE: KID: SOUND INTERLUDE: LOUISE: CARVER: LOUISE: CARVER~ LOUISE: GAR~R: LOUISE: C~RVER: -15- Oh~ fill be seeinI you once in a while. Look. HerelB some dough -- a~d Irll send you more when thatls used Up. S~y, wheretll you be at, anyhow? I al~ost forgot to ask you that, I dunno. Naybe fill try the mountains for a while .... r~ybe Denver,. 6~Ire ~ Denver~ Colozado. A~y~he~els O.K. All rlght~ Loulse. When you g~t ther~ ~Toufll find old General Delivery shaking hands with you, All right, All right~ Any~hinE. Ah~ snap out Of it. 0o down and catch yourself a train, and have a sw~ll tlme in Denver. But first Ely8 Floyd and me a ohanc~ to l"an thls oa~ down the blook and make ou~ get-away° 1. ~OTOR SAR BUNNING OUT. 2. TRAIN. S, KNOSKING ON DOOR~ Who Is it? (OUTSIDE) ~±s~ P~ent~ce? Yes~ what do you ~nt? I~m a Federal &gent. ~ay I talk t~ Fou~ (PAUSE) Some in. The doorls not locked, (DO0~ HANDLE TURNED AND DOOR OPEEED) (IN DOOR) Ilm Special Agent Carver. Who~s the guy with yau? ~y associate, Agent Worters.
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~ORTERS: LOUISE: CARVER: LOUISE: WORTERS: LOUISE: WORTERS: LOUISE: WORTERS: CARVER: LOUISE: CARVER: LOUISE: WORTERS: LOUISE: WORTERS: LOUISE: How do you do~ ~iss ~9~n1±ce? Oome in -I taxe the w~Isht off your feet. We ~o~rt waste your time, l~iss Prentice, a~d I we wooer be forced to inconvenience yo~° HO~7 do yo~ mean "inoo~ve~ie~ce~TI Throw ~e i~to stir? (SENSE OF HUMOR) Now that's an u~ly exp~ossion, ~iss P~en~io~. ~Im sure it was~Tt neoessary to use it. (SNIFFS) Smart ~u¥. Spill it. What am ~ supposed to be guilty of? Nothing. But therers a man named Xid Barton ~ and his brother Floyd -- thoy'ro guilty of plenty. Come again, ~ister. Oh7 donlt stall. Welr~ not wastinS your time. Why should you waste ours? We want to sp~re you~ feeli~gs~ Louise.,.b~t we've sot ~o get informatlon. DO you understand that? ~uppose I said I kne~ Kid Barton ~- onoe. What wc 1~nt to find o~t is whor~ he is, Your ~ss is good ~s mlne. Come On, Louise ~ Why, only two months ago, in Spok~n~ you w~re ~r~velllnE together. He didnlt give you th~ air, did h~? ~or ~nc~ youlre right, smart guy, ThatI~ j~st what he dld° A~d sin~e then~ ~o l~tt~rs have come f~om him~ no money? Ah| What's th~ use| Sure. He hasn't forgotten m~ _L But I don't see how you Govern~en~ oo~s traced me to
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CARVER: L~ORTERS : LOUISE: WORTERS: LOUISE: ~ARVER: WORTERS: CAP2ER: LOUISE: CARVER: LOUISE: WORTERS: CARVER: WORTERS: LOUISE: WORTERS: LOUISE: -l?- Our job is to get Inform~tlon~ not pass it out, Louise. Bu~ it wasntt long after you and the Xid parted company~ bofore wc~d heard of it. And we fizur~d that held h~ve ~ou hidden OUt somewhere L_ in some ~edlu~ sized ~it~l in a second rate hotel~ on a quiet stree~ llke thls one~ ~O here We a~J Yeah. Youlve found me~ not th~ X1d. And I ain't done anything. Yo~Ive heard plenty. What about? The killing of that sheriff do~ in Texas! (~APZD FIRE) And th~ policeman in the freight yard &t Livin~s~on~ ~onta~ ~hat about t~e robberies in ~pokan~? Yourv~ ~ot ~ wrong. If ths boys ~alked± I didnlt get ~° ~ho~ are t~cy ~ow? HO~ should I know? ~SUDD~NLY) It's all rlgh~, Chlef. We can ~o now. Get it? Y~S~ Pho~z~ Arlzon~. ~igh~ ~Is~ ~rentlc~? Oh, yo~ n~edn:~ ~rab fo~ yo~r ~er -~ live managed to ~ead th~ dato ~nd po~r~rk already, Why do you lea~e things likc that iFing aro~knd when you kuow i~vestlg~to~ are apt ~o call on you~ (QUIET FURY) Get out of he~ you little ~at ....
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WORTERS: CARVER; SOUND INTERLUDE: ~ACKIE: VOICE NO. I: ~AOKIE: VOICE NO. 2: ~ACKI~: VOICE NO. l: -18- Please -- please -- have ~ been unpleasant to y~7 WortersI that letter from Phoenix can mean a lot to this case if we work fast. Werll notify the police departmezt thereI and tak~ steps to prevent ~iss Prentice from comm~nioatlng with the Hat,one. And one thing more -- l~hen the n~xt trai~ l~aves here for Arizol~a you and I want to make a point of being on board. I. TRAIN. Z. OFFICE BACKOR05q~D. Attention of all police officers on Phoenix force is called to possible presence in city of rod Nash touring car stolen and used by notorious Barton brothers, d~sperate Oklaho~ outlaws. All polic~ offioers....oautloned to memorize licence plat~ numbers ~nd model of oar. Hmm, Wharfs that? StudylnI to get the reward for the Barton Brothers, ~ckle? lid sure like to see those boys z~/n out of Phoenix ~- if theylre really here. Federal men say theylre around here. Theylre usually right. Say. Those Bartons. Theyfre a mean pair of coyotes, I guess. (MEDITATIVELY) Red Nagh touring o~r.... How about that reward~ Maokie? Send She kids to college, huh?
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~ACKIE: VOICE NO. 9: ~ACKIE: SOUND INTERLUDE: FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: KID; FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: KID: -19- (GOOD NATUREDL~) Sure~ if I had any kids. Well, got to get goi~k. Got a late beat this ~or~ing~ a~d believe me itts plenty da~k and chilly on those streets at 1 A.~, Tha~ ne~s around thi~ police statlon? No~ I guess not. 9o long, fellows. (AD LIB: 9o long~ so long, ~ckfu --) (DOOR 19 CLOSED) 1. MEASUP~D PACING OF POLIOEgAN19 BOOTS ON 9IDFIIALK. 2. FADE IN }~0TOR OAR EFFEOT. (DIALOGUE OVER ENGINE EFFECT~ The~els a cop, Kid. I c~It help It, Thi~ car ~onrt run wlthout gas. Welr~ getti~l low. If w~ stop at the f1111ng station thererll be trouble. Is there a l~w against buylnr a quart of ~s? Pull up and weIll find out. (CAR BRAKED TO 8TOP AND /OTOR TURNED OFF) Say. John Law iB looking our way, ~ll right. I~d llke to take t~t funny expr~sslon off hi~ pa~f ~ybe hcIB trying to ~pot us Or ~ho oarl I think Irll take a shot at -- Hey ~ hold that| (A~AZED) Huh? You ~&ght miss. Hels too far off. H@ wonlt be much longer; hels walking ~hls way. He donI~ know ~. R~1~ember, itls la~e, He~robably wants to bozrow a light.
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FLOYD: ~ACKIE ; KID: FLOYD: MACKIE: KID: MACKIE: KID: MACKIE: KID: ~AGKIE: KID: FLOYD: MACKIE: KID: FLOYD: -20- I donJt think so~ (FADING IN) Hey. You in the car. Yeah~ what do you want? H~% out here~ I want to t~ke ~ look at you. All righ~J (AUTOMOBILE DOOR OPENED AND CLOSED) You too, All ri~h~ donlt ~ush me. T~tls a stolen oar you guys are drlvi~g, What makes you thlnk so? IIm not going to ar~e about it -~ ITm te111D~ you. Hold out youz hands, What for? Youlll find O~o Gome on~ now. ALl right~ I won't make no trouble. (BRACELETS CLINK) Floyd ~- Quick -- while het~ fixin' the handcuffs -~ Yeah. I go~ hi~. (~OAN OF GUN) Jump in the car, Kid! (WOUNDED) Stand where you are -- hands up ~- or I'll-~ (AUTO ENGINE STARTED) (FADING I~) Let him have it again, Floyd. Ho'~ ~till on his f~ct. Yeah° (CRY FROi ~AOKIE) You drive, Kid, Step on the gas. (MOTOR)
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KID: FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: KID: FLOYD: SOL~D I~TERLUDE: DOCTOR~ CARVER: DOCTOR: WORTERS: -SI- Hey, that cop's picked up hi~ gun agaln~ (VOLLEY OF SHOTS) (GLASS CRASH) He hi~ the ~Indshleld -- get going, for God's ~ake, or herll kill us both! (VOLLEY CF SHOTS) (GEAR SHIFT EFFECT~ ~h~tIB the ~tter with thiB oar -- (POP ~D H~SS OF DEFLATED TIRES) H8 got th~ tires ~ weIll ~ as f~r &B ~e c~ ~nd then duok o~ on foot. O.Ko -- ~r~b that rifle and hold tight. Ye~h. Half the town will be out now. Judm~ Priest! Why couldutt that cop stay down? 1. AUTO ~IOTOR FADES OUT. 2. A~ULANCE BELL A~D I~OTOR. (FADIO~ I~) Gentlem~n~ do ~ou realize that from the 8t~ndpolnt of medlc~l $o±~nc~ tnis pollc~ offlc~r Fllnt ~ackie~ has absolutely no re~on ~o be ~live? As b~d ~s th~t~ Doctor? Yes~ ~nd~ed~ ~r. D~v~r -- his h~ngi~g o~ to consciousness Is the m~Bt &stoni~hizg cxhibit~on of We hate like t~e devll to bother him ~t all, Docto~ - b~t w~Ive got to g~t ~he m~n who ~t him here.
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DOCTOR: WORTERS: NURSE: DOCTOR: MAOKIE: CARVER: MASKIE: CARVER: NURSE: MACKIE: WORTNRS: MACKIE: DOSTOR: NURSE: CARVER: MACKIE: NURSE: -22- Donlt worry yourself about that~ ~r8 Worters~ The minute Flint Hackle feels that he has completed his Identification of his assailants he'll let go -- (SNAPS FINGERS) llke that. And a merciful thing :oo. His bony is a mass of major wounds. (REGRETFULLY) Well -- you know Offlcor Mackle spoke of having seen photographs of the two men on a long, narrow, cardboard circular. Of course hels referring to the handbill we issued to all police departments, and I have a copy of it here. Weld like to show it to him. Do you think it would be -- (DOOR IS OPENED) (SHORT DISTANCE OFF) All right, Doctor. Weld better hurry. This way, gentlemen. (FADES IN) Hello, Mr. Carver.-- Mr. Worters. Got a picture for me? Yes~ Y~ckle,a couple of them. Want ~e to look at tem now? If you will. Now just take it easy. Here Irll hold it for you. Dark. What did he say? Dark, too dark. Canlt see, Put up the shades, nurse. (FADING) Yes~ sir. Are we right~ Hackle? Is this FOUr long cardboard circular? I can feel it better tha~ I can see It. (SHADE ROLLS UP) (FADING IN) There the shade~s up -- now you can see whst Mr. Carver brought.
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~fACKIE: 0AFJ/ER: ~ACKIE: WORTERS: ~ACKIE: CARVER: I[ACKIE: WORTERSi CARtiER: WORTERS: CARVER: VOICE: CARVER: VOICE: CARVER: SOUND INTERLUDE: -SE- Irll -- hold it -- closer~ (PAUSE) Can you see it at all, Maokie? Yes. (PAUSE) This is the ~an thst did the shooting. (PARENT~TICALLY) Floyd Barton. This other fellow was with hlm~ drove the car away .... Thatls all we need to know -- we wonlt bother you any more now, Mackie. Good luck! (MUTTERS 80KETHING) What did he say? Never Mind. This way, Wetters. (DOOR IS CLOSED) Terrible, wasnlt it? Hels a brave fellow. Oh~ Mr. Carver? Yes, orderly? Telephone message for you from harshall Fr~zer out at Tempe. He says can you go right OUt - it's something important. ~sll~ if Itls ImportantI we)ll have %o go. Tempers just a few miles out of town. Letls hop in our carl Wetters, and see what's Up. I.MOTORCAR RUNNING -- 2.DOOR CLOSED. FRASER: Special Agent Carver? CARVER: That's right -- and this is Agent Wetters.
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FRASER: LUI$: FRASER: CARVER: LUIS: CARVER: FRASER: LUIS: WORTERS: LUIS: WORTERS: FRASER: -24- How are ye? Itm ~Yshall Fraser of Tempe. Sit down, gentlemsn, This dexlcan has something I ~nt you to h~ar. CO ~h~ad Luls~ 8i~ senor. Leesten to me. I have heard about men who ~hoot the Rolico~n las' nlgh~ in RhoenlxT (PARENTHETICALLY) I broadcast your g~neral alarm, Oarv~r. I Bee ~- go On. ~ow me -- I am poor sheeRherder, donI &mo~nt to damu~ no? But trees morning~ when T go on Tempe Butte for my sheep, I go by plaoe whe~ the light burn all day, ~II night, you s~be7 No, I dontt. Hc m~ans th~ Eternal Light~ th~ W&r ~mo~i~l out on Tempe Butte. ItI~ On a 01iff and vo~ san see it for miles. AnI while I go that way for sheep, I see two me~ -~ What did they look like? I donlt get so olose for that. hut I ~ee one theeng -- they h~v~ ~ rifle we~th %hem. And they ~ove round like they afraid for something. Th~ sounds SusRiciou~~ all right~ Car~er° W~Id bett~r look into it. Fraser, how do you get up to this Tempe Butte? (THOUGHTFULLY) W~ll....thcrc's thro~ t~ails.
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CARVER; FRASER; WORTER$ : SOUND INTERLUDE: LUIS: FRASER: LUIS: FRASER: LUIS: FRASER: LUIS: FRASER: LUIS: -25- In that oasc~ welll have to split, and e~ch ~ake one trail. Theret~ no time to lose, YOU can show us where to star~, If Worters Or I run into the men, we~ll grab them~ ~nd fire in the air for yo~ to come and take them into custody. If you get to them first, you signal~ ~nd wetll come and back yo~ up. Is ~hat agreeable? (THOUGHTFULLY) Yes, that sounds ~ll right. Ready, gentlemen~ You be~. Lefts get started. 1. DOOR CLOSED. 2. AUTOMOBILE RUNNING OVER ROAD. 3. WIND. 4. SOUND OF WALKING ON SHA~ (FADING IN) Ret ecs one steep trail, S~nor Fraser. Thatl~ rlght~ ~is. This is the steepest trail up Tempo ~te. But it's quick. (WIND WHISTLE8 AROUND CRAGS) Look you, Se~or. I am only ~oor d~mb ~e~Ica~o~ but I would not like to fall down thees clcef. Neither wo~Id I...but welre almost to ~he top. Gr~cias a Dios~ S~nor. I a~ only -- (SUDDENLY) Hu~h~...Be qulet~ ~omethlng~ Up ahead there....standing by the edge of the butte! (LOW VOICE) T~o hombres. Th~ ones I see thees mo~ning~ Look .,..you see the rifle?
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FRKSER~ LUIS: FRASER: KID: FRASER: KID: FRASER: KID: FRASER: KID: FRABER: LUIS; FRASER: LUIS: (GRI~) Yes, 5rid pistols too. 8hall I go for the other ones, ~enor Fraser? No time. (GRI~) Ker~'s ~hat I'm going to do ~ I'm goi~ to dr&~ down on lem cold with my rifle and the firet ~n that ~ovcs is a g~n~z. (SHARP OLEAN CLICK AS FRASER SETS AUTOmaTIC RZFI~) Look out for stampedes, Luie. (CALLS) You men over there~ Hands upl (OF~) Whatls that? DonTt r&is~ th&t rifle~ mlster~ or Illl drop you oold. (CLOSER) What is it? The Law? ~rshal of Te~pe,Arizona~ Eid ~arton. (IN FULL) ~y na~ ain't B~ton! Man, I~ve studded that government picture o~ you till I'd kno~ you in the dark. (SHARPLY) You can drop that rifle ~ drop it~ Oh ..... all right° (RIFLE DROPPED) Now Luis~ pull th~ guns out of their belt8 and ~hrow ~em on the ~round. (~UNS T~WN ON G~UND) And no~ you can kick that artillery -- right over the cliff~ Si. (LUI~ KICKS OVeR GUN8 -- THEY ~ATTLE AND CLATTER FOR A LONG TI~E AS THEY P~DLL DO?~ THE OLIFF.)
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FP~SER~ FLOYD: CARVE~R: FRASER: CARVER: PORTERS: CARVER: FRASER: OARVER: FRASER: -27- (DEADLY) Howld you boys llke to ta~e that little drop? (SCARED) Listen -- we+ve surrendered, haven't we? (IN RESTAECE) (FADING I~) Hi~ Hello there~ Have you got lem? Yes~ Er. Oarver, right over here. (FADES IN) Oome on, Wortcrs. ~ar~y. (FADING IN) Ifm risht wi~h you. Say...these are the boys all risht -~ the notorious Baz%on Erothors, ~y, wh&t a grand view you have up here. Take ~ good look at it, boys. You won'~ be back. M~rshal Fraser~ -- congratulations~ ~etve w~nted these men for a long~ time. (DRY) Well~ here they are, gr. Carver. (GETTING WISE) Say -- I ~ that w~s a mighty iong tr~il you set me on. Honestly now: dldnlt you tak~ a short cut up ~he butte? Woll, yes. (GRI~) You s~e, after what they done to Fli~t g~ckie in Phoenix last night, I made ~ sort of promise that Ild capture these fellows myself if I oo~id, ~eli~ no use to stay here lookinI at sconcry° ~et mov~nI down ~he trail, boys. Ea~ch~
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VOISE: (W~RELESS BUZZ) BU~AU OF INVESTIGATION AGENTS PP~SE~T FACTS TO STATE AUTADRITIZS IN OKLAHOMA, TEXA8y MONTANA AND DOL0~AD0°.. FLOYD BARTON 00NVIOTED OF MURDER OF PHOENIX POLICENAN.,. AND BANGED....KID BARTON OONVICTED OF ~UIRDER OF DEPUTY S~RIFF ..... AND SENTENCED TO LIFE Ih~RIS0Nk~NT ....... CASE NO. 26 - 5190. ,. ,CLOSED ..... ASSIGN~iENT CO~LETED... (7~I~LESS) T~ LONG AP~ OF TP~ FEDE~L LAW P~ACHEs EVEPO/WHEPJ{ ..... CRIME DOES NOT PAN .................... (WIRELESS BUZZ) FAP~/WILLIA~SON/chilI¢cn i12~13s
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchestr~ and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TUESDAY • THURSDAY J ,, 'r 'rv f','rrr Ir, o SATURDAYIO ~o n P.r~ \~V'~ ,-u~., r~ t ,%-~ WEAF~ASSOCIATED ~ ~ ~ ~e CHARACTER T~JRSDAY? FEBRUARY E~ 1933 ( ~OBICAL 81GRATURE) HOWARD CLANEY 1 Ladles and ~entlemell, the LUCKY 9TRIKE Hour prese~t~ for your ploasure by the 1~a~ufacture~s of LUCKY 9TRIKE ~i~aret~es -- slx~y modorn ~±nut~s with the l~orldt8 finest d~ncc orohestra~, a~d the famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills ....... Jack PearE 18 th~ leading man of tonlgh~Is sh~w and i~ just a few min~t~s~ het~ gol~9 to st~ to the front ~ga±n and blurt out some more of hi~ ~ru~y astoundln~ adv~ntureB ~ the Baron ~nchaus~n. In the meanwhile~ if yould likc to da~c~1 Ab~ LyI~a~ a~d hiB Orchestra a~ ~t your dlspos~l....letls drop in o~ them ~tght no~,l -- ON WITH THE DANCE ABE LYI~AN,. ~(WHISTLE)~..OKAY ANERICA~
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f ABE LYZAH : ~" Good evening, everybody, this is Abe Lyman greeting you with -- (TITLES) .) .) ) 9 _) ABE LY~hN: HOWARD CLANEY: The l~glc 0arpct speeds back to the Pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORZ~ I wonder how rz~ny of you are having a party as you listen toni~ht~ and dancing to Abe Lyman's r~uslc? Hotels something that sm~t hostesses always used to dread: cigarette a~h~s that fall unnoticed on fine upholstery and rug~ not through carelessness, but because some brands of oig~ettes burn raggedly. Itls for just that reason that women appresla~e LUCKY STRIKE so mush. For ~hen you light a LUCKy ¥ouIll notice that it burns wlth a long, firm white ash -- ~n ash that resists flaking and dropping~ No~icej ~Iso~ that this white LUCKY ash is not streaked with dirty gray and yellow spots- thatrs because LUCKY STRIKE contains only the fln~st of long~ even, silky shreds of choice tobaccos~ well packed, ~ -~ no Jagge~ stems or particles that sputtsr or burn raggsdly. LUCKY STRIKE'S p~rfected bl~nd of fi~e~ "Cre&m of the Crop~ tobaccos is p~rifl~d and ~de ~ven-bu~nlng by "TOAS?ING'I~ which purifies th~se choice tobaccos and makes the~ mello~-mildo I~'~ because millions of you have discovered LUCKY STRIKEr~ deli~lo~s, fragrantly mild smoking pleasure: perfected in every detail for ~our enjoyment~ that you san now obtai~ tnis ~ema~kable new value -- LUCKY STRIKE at two passages for twenty-flve oents.
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-3- HO~AIKD CLANEY : Now ladies and gontlemenj we present Jack Poarl, who, from ~h~t one can gatherI is known ~i~o as the Baron ~unch~usen,. and I might add that thc Baron is daily giving out laughs to New Yorkers in his new show, I'Pardon My English" which is now playing at the ~a~est±o Theatre o~ Bro~dway~...and just i~ ¢&se you don't know It~ the Baro~ has ~Ined an envlable place in soclety both here and abroad~.,,.few members of the ~ppe~ strata have eve~ been able to boast Of B~ch adventures ~s the Baron is going to 8pe~k abo~t tonlght,°...~y we now give you~ ..... hi8 royal shyness~ the Baron ~ncha~sen~ (FIRST PART -- "SOCIETY")
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HOWARD CLANEY: Th&t burst of applause ~ign~Is the exit o5 the Baroz ~nchausen but ~ontt be alarmed~ h~'ll be b~ck as soon as he oollects Bome mo~e d~t~ on his ~xperiences ~n high societF ..... and while hc~ ~oing ~ha~, ~e~ll flash over ~o Ab~ Ly~an a~d his t~lented tru~etcr~ fro~ the Paradise Re~taurant~ Her~ tames the whole oro~d of us~ Abe~...~en million 8trong.,..so -- ON WITH THE D~n~CE...(WHISTLE)...0F~Y A~EPXCA~ ABE LY~L~N: We play this time -- (TITLES) ( ) ( ) ) ) ABE LYI~AN~ Here goes the Nagic Carpet. (WHISTLE) 0~Y NEW YORK~
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HOWARD SLANGY: When he was sixteen years old~ Earl H. Gray got a job in a remote railway station of the Union Paclflo,...he p~Id the telegraph operator $5 to teach him the Morse Code,. ,he became Baggage ILRs~er~ expressman~ chief clerk -- from there the rise of Carl Ho Gray to the Presidency of the Great Union Paclflo Railroad was a *~%tter of applying his extraordinary oapabilit5 ~o every job that came to his hand, Today~ Carl R. Gray Is knova~ ~mo~g 1he r~ilro~d men as one of th@ greatest of transportation executives -- he literally'~nows the b~siness from the ground up." And because he is one of Am~ricals great executives, we h~ve just sent in the Norse Code he learned as a younLster~ thls wi~e to Carl R. Gray. ER. CARD R. GRAY, PRESIDENT UNION PACIFIC RAILWAY iEiS DODGE STREET ONAHA ~ NEBRASKA EVER SINCE PIONEERING DAYS WREN UNION PACIFIC TOOK THE LEAD IN LINKING EAST AND WEST THE GREAT RAILROAD OF I~HISH YOU AP~ PRESIDENT HAS BEE~[ RECOGNIZED BY TRE PL~LIC AS 8TANRING FOR THE UTMOST IN TRAVELLING C0~FORT AND CONVENIENCE ~OR ITS PATHONS,...CERTIFIED SREMC TO THE CIGAR SMOKER LIKEWISE STAEDS FOR TRE UT~05T IN QUALI~ AND VALUE....NOW WE ARE ABLE TO SHARE WITH THE SIGAH SMOKING PUBLIC THE BENEFITS OF LARGE SCALE PRODUCTION BY OFFERING CERTIFIED CREDOS AT THE NEW LOW PRICE OF FIVE CENTS STRAIGHT THREE FOR TEN CENTS .... CREMO TODAY IS LARGEST SELLING CIGAR I5 TRE WORLD PROVING THAT WHETHER IN TRAVELLING COMFORT 0N IN CIGAR VALUES THE PUBLIC ALWAYS APPRDCIATE5 TRE BEST ...... VINCENT HIGGIO VICE-PRESIDENT IN CHARGE OF SALES THE AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY ~I~R. CLANEF CONTINUES ON ~EXT PAGE)
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HOWARD CLANEY: (CONTINUES) That, ladies and gentlemen, is the telegram which just two minutes ago was sent from this studio to Carl R. Gray, President of the Union Pacific Railways. I would like to call o~ attention to the facts we have wired Mr. Gray -- that Certified Oremo today offers ~mokers the world's greatest eiga~ value at five cents straight, three for ten cents. ........................... STATION BREAK ............................. HOWARD CLAYEY: I%'s ~ime again for Abe LEman to parade his fiddles~ saxophones and oboes before the mierophone....just as he puts Shem through their paces on Broadway...so let's not delayL ON WITH T~ DANCEj ABE LY}i&N...(WHISTLE) 0KAy~ AgERICA! ABE LYMA~ : Everybody out on the dance floor as we play -- (TITLE$) ) ) ) ) ) ABE LEMAN : Carpet. Back to the n~n at the controls d~shes the ~io (WHISTLE) 0~Y7 PEW YORKL
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-7- HOWARD CLANEY: Thanks Abe,...now you can relax while we call on Jaak Pearl and Cliff H~ll...,but ~hose are th~irmaidez names.... every One knowB them aB the B~on ~u~chausen and Charley...,,th~ B~ron has bee~ dIB~sln~ a few hlghllghts of his soclal career, And no~ a dapper figure Ls steoplng out of the ~Ings..~.the spotlight ~hine~ ou the glistening white of hiB shirt Tront and his coat ~ails ~re dragglng behlnd him, Ah~ i~ oa~ be none other than the Baron M~noh~sen~ (SECOND PART -- It$0CIETY")
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-8- HOWARD.CLANEY: That was J~ck Pearl relating his adventures ~s the Baron ~unchausen. He lll joi~ us ~gai~ at this same %ime next w~ek,...~nd now before the d~noiDE starts ~gainI m~y we remind you that on Saturday night we'll have with us Gladys Rice and Robert H~lllday~ that young oouple who lend a touch of romance to the p~ogram,.,..also~ A1 Good~n~ foremost bandmaster of n~/sical comedy, will furnish the dance muslc.,.~but thatls on Saturday night. Tonight~ Ab~ Lyman is the n~n of the hour and hels ready and waltlng to set your feet tapping 8o ~- ON WITH TF~ DANCE, ABE LYMAN..,(~HISTLE)...OKAY~ A~EHISAI ABE LYI~AN : We invite you to dance to -- (TITLES) ) (. ) (. ) ) (. ) ) ABE LYMAN : The Maglc Carpet flashes ovsr our heads and 8pe~ds back to ~he pilot° (WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YORK!
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HOWARD OLANEY: Thank you, those tunes .... -9- Abe, I'm sure a lot of people enjoyed You know~ my friends, that little LUCKY STRIKE Cigarette of yours is just llke a little museum of raze~ expensive tobaccos° HUndreds of the finest tobaooo-growln~ csnters contribute to e~ery LUCKY ..... the or~&m Of thous&nd~ Of pl~nter~r orop~ i~ selectedI without regard for ~xpcnse~ then carefully ~ged and mellowed~ and firmly, ~ve~ly rolled into your LUCKY STRIKE. YoUrll notlce that LUOKY STRIKE con~ins full w~ight of finely shredded, long strands of tohaoe@j fr~e from j~gg~d stems a~d large pieces, And ~hen you light you~ LUCKY - you111 notice th&~ ti~ose evenly packed tobacco8 burn ~venly as well. They bu~u with a long, firm white ashj ~n ash that resists the tendency to fl&ke and drop On oloth~B or fine linen table clo~hso That f~rm~ ~ve~ly~colorcd white ~sh is th~ sign Of the fi~st of pure~ cholce toh~o~s~ tobaccos blended and made mellow-mild by the famous "TOASTINGI' Process - that ~tr~ pu~fyln~ treatment whl~h is so mn/~h ~ppr~ci~t~d by women wh~ deBpiSe yello~,' flng~rstai~s. ~om~n with ~ eye for v~l~es ap~olate~ too~ th~ fact that dealers ar~ now affer±ng LUCKY STRIKE ~t two p~ckages for twenty-flve cents ~r~at~r value th~n ever in th~ finest of olgarette~ HOWARD CLANEY: Now we go b~ck to th~ danolng lad by Abe Lyman~ a sm~llng young ~n who h~s rhythm and melody right at the tip of h±s baton,~..~ll right, AbeI t~ke us into a brls~ and sprightly foxtrot. ON WITH T~ DANCE..oo(WKISTLE) OKAY, AL~RICA|
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~1~1~ (" ( ( ( ( -OT" : i~qIAq Z~IV -) :NV~!/q Z[V
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"THE MODERN BARON ~U~OHAUSEN" FEATURING JACK PEARL EPISODE XXII iTS 0 C I E T Y" PARTS I AND II FOR LUCKY STRIKE HOUR FEBRUARY ~t 1983
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(B) ,'THE ~OHEDE BA~ON ~QEAHEEN" EPISODE XXII lib 0 C I K T Y" PART I AND II BY WILLIA~ Ko WELLS CAST: BARON ~CHAUSEN ....................... ~ ....... JACK PEARL gHARLEY ........................................ CLIFF HALL NOTE: This property is duly prozected by copyright ~nd may not be used in any msnn~r without ~he ~uthorlty of the cwne~ thereof. It is authorized for broadcast ove~ Natlon~l Bro&dcasting Co~any, Inc. fa¢211tles~ o~ly o~ the dat~ first Indlc~%ed her~in.
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"THE SOD~F~ ~AFD~ ~C~BNEN" -I- EPISODE XX~I CHAI~LEY : BARON: CHARLEY : BARON: 0HARLEY : BARON: OHARLEY: BARON : C~RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARD},* : CHARLEY: BARON : 0 HAP~LEY: BARON : CHARLEY: Well, Baron~ what do you think of this week end party? Its very we~kI Sb~rl~yj vetF w~k. donlt see how you can say that. We've played golf and tennis ~ been y~ohting and ~toring - dinlng and dancing ~- I knowI but t~ereTs something missing. Something missing? What? My Cousin Hugo° You feel lonesome for your Oousln Hugo. Y~sp ~d 8orry. Sorry, why? The last tlme I saw him things looked ~e~rihly bl~ok to him. ~hat happened? He fell iu a coal hol~. That's too bad -- but ~ettln~ baok ~o ~hls week end p~zty you will a~It we ar~ mingling with the elite. ........ hello? People of the upper strata, oxclusive~ coterie per excellence of eminent and distinguished oelebrltles of high soolal status. .......... WEIP/~ OFF| Don~t you think the people here ~re real cl~bby?
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BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BAROB : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy[ BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: OHARLRy: BARON: Yest but I was at ~ house l~st week where the people was more cluhhy, What hous~ was that? The station house, What were /~ doing in a station house? A feller had m~ arrested for givlnN him a high score in a bridge game. HAd you arrested for giving him a high score in a bridge game? Yes - I made a wron~ play - he called me ~ name and - And what? I gave him a~! Where did this happen? Last week end --- at the Van schnozels. At the Van 8c~%nomels? Yes -- they was giving a Coming out party for their daughter. A co~dng out party? Yes - and every time I looked at the daughter's evening gown I thought she would~ Would what ? Come out, -- Bhe was all in white. All in white? Yes - white gown~ white slippers, white stooklngs, white gloves - everythl~g was white, Everything was white! Yes -- except her neck, Her nook wasnlt white? (LAUGH) It was black.
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OH~RLEY Z BARON ! CHARLEY: BAHON : CHARLEY ~' BARON CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: C HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: -3- Row dO you account for that? My Oousln Hugo wag necklng with her when he oame out of the coal hole, He ~ho~Id h&v~ washed up. He di~hntt~ a~d now Nets wa@h~d up with the Va~ ~ohDozels. The Van Schnozel~ ~re bi~ @ocial llons~ ar~nI~ they? Big .... if they was ann b1~ge~ theyTd bc elephants° All the time I was the~e I dldUlt eat any breakfast or lunch. Why not? Because I only had dinner clothes. On Saturday night ~h~y ~ve a sp~olal dinner for me. Because you were the guest of honor? NO - because I was hungry. I hear they uBe different period dlnin~ roo~ furniture for every dlnn~r, Yes ~- last we~k ~very~hing in ~he d1~ing room was LOUIS the Fourt~entho Ev~rFthing ~a~ Louis the Nourtecnth~ Except the t~ble~ What ~s that? F~go the first, Hugo the flr~t? YeN ~ he was the flr~ one to ~et there. He ~ade h~meelf conspicious~ No -- he ~de him~81f a sa~dwlch, Between Hugo and ~e wa~ s~tti~N ~ cross-eyed ~O~D, A oross-oy~d woman? Yes - she ~as talking ~o Hugo and ~ating out of my plat~.
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BAP0N : CHARLEY: CFARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY ~ BARON ~HARLEY~ BARON : 0HAP~LEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: -4- My wordl My plate~ When they served the chlokeu she was gabbing about Taxi-~ox-~rocerles, She was gabblu~ about what? ~ ......... W~s we disconnected? IIm sorry~ Baroz~ but I didntt get wha~ you s~l~, I'll send It to you agaln, DQ. I said when they served the chlcks~ the orosB~eyed wo~ was gabbing about T~xi~nox~grocer1~sh 0hp TecKnoc~asy. Sure -- and Hugo was eatlng it up. Her convs~satlo~? No - h~r chicken, ~ho eIBe was there~ B~ron? W~ll~ there was ~r~, 8p~okyo ~r~, Spookey? Ye~. Bhe~ a Rrlt-u-llss-tlss, A 8pirltualist. A ~p~a~u-tlzzl¢-fist. Spiritualist° ~prit-a-tuller~lls~-tlss-lt L~ ~ayb~ we b~tt~r not ~alk about it. Bhe~s a ~plrltualist. Sure -- how many tims~ must ~ t~ll ¸you° Is ~he a go~d Splr~tuali~t? JuBt med±umo Did ~h~ hold a seance? 0ould I bo ~nqulsitive?
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O HARLEy : BARON: 0~RLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON : 0HARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEY: BARON : Did she bold a seazce- did she commune witb the spirits? And ho~ (LAUGH) We had to hide the bottle. No~ no. I mean did shc do any spirit slate writing and table knookin~ and so forth? Oh, sure - she told every one to put their hands on the table. Yes. And every one's hands was on the table except my 0o~sin Hugoqs. Where were his hands? In my pockets. What happened when you all had your hands on the table? It went up in the air and came down with a crash. The Spirits moved It! NO -- Hugo kicked it~ Also there was Nieky Anspaoh. Nicky Anspacb -- let's see; he married a Checker champion, didntt he? Yes -- and now every time he makes a move she jumps him. Is he henpecked? genpeeksd~ (LAUGH) Hers henbitten. Hers got matzimoni~l dyspepim. }~trlmonial dyspepla? Yes -- his wife doesntt agree with him. Sunday night we had a high time, A high time? Yes.
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CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEY: BARON: CHARSEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARO~ CHARLEY: BA~0N : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: What did you d~ We went up in an ~eroplaneQ Speaking of a~replanes ~- the girl who sat opposite you at dinner tonight is KathrynMoGli~n the famous aviatrl~J .......... Could you come inside? She~s a flyer. She flew around the globe. That's nothing -- Essle swam around the globe. Who's Essie? My gOld fish. And sitting next to her was J. Norman Montagae, a great bear hunter. Great bear hunter: Poof~ The Baron is the great bea~ hunter. DO you h~uqt bear? NO -- I always wear a fur coat. I mean bear -- the animal. Sure -- I remember one time I was hunting up i~ Lizzle Vichy. Lizzie Vichy? Julls Seltzer, Carrie White Rock -- DO you by any chance ~an Minne-Sota? ~innie SoHA~ That's it~ I was up in the woods of Minnle~oda looking for bear. Grizzlies? ........... Qould I have that again? Grizzlies~ grizzly bears. (LAUGH) Don't be zilly ~ grizzly wasn't a bear ~- he A man?
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BARON : CHARLEy: 2ARON: C HARLEY : BARON : C HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BkROH: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: C HARLEY : BA~ON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: Sure -- he said "Go West young man, go WesZ.i~ It was Oreelel who said that. Well somebody said it. And besides its got nothing to do with what Irm talking about. You brought it up, So Irll take it down again. Very well, proceed with your story, I was looking for a bear and as I was walking in a field I saw a false friend. A fags~ friend? A snake in the grass -- and 0h, Sharlsy~ was he a big snake? How many feet? Don~t be zillyo What do you mean~ donlt be silly? A snake hasn't got f~et, I mean what was the length of the snake? Oh -- a hundred and zizty feet, I should say. You should say? Yes - but I wonlt. I'm glad of that. Because it was longer. The minute he saw me he got fresh. He got freshl Yes -- he stuck his tongue out at me. Was it a venomous viper? ........ pardon my English? I said was it a v~nomous viper? NO - it was a windshield viper -- the windshield was full of snow and the viper wouldnlt work so I stepped on the gas and
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g}K~RLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY: BARON : CP~NLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY : BARON : OHARLEY: Hold on~ You were telling me about a snake and then you switched to an automobile. What's the idea? Was it your automoblle~ Yes! ........ what h&ppened7 YOU asked if iZ was my automobile a~d I said "yes." (LAUGH) That)s the time I tooled yo~. You fooled me~ Sure -- (LAUGH) there was no automobile there. I didn)t think there was. What about the snake? Didn't I kill him Net? NOr you did not. (LAUGH> My goodness -- I'm late. Well anyhow, the minute he stuck out his tongue I knew he was going to walk out on the job, ~le was going to what? .,..,.Why donlt you come on my side of the fence? You said the snake was going to walk out on the job~ now) just what do you mean? ~e was going to strikel OhI strike, Sure! H~ was ~ union snake. happened? I expect anything. You wonlt be disappointed. snakes to strike with him1 The snake blew a whistle? Twice. Thatls out| And what do you think Be wanted all the other -- so he blew a whistle,
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BARON: CBARLEY : BARON: C HAPoLEy : BARON: CHARlEy: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: -10w I'll brin~ it bask again. The snake blew ~ whistle and out of the woods came zeventy-flve thousand snakes, Seventy~five thousand snakes? YeS si~. Pardon ~ej Saron~ but were you imbibing that d~y? ........ hello? I sayI were you imbibing? NO - I was in Minnesod~. And you mean to tell me you saw seventy-five thousand snakes come out of the woods? Sure - That is the height of exaggeratlon and you couldn't make me believe it if you talked till doomsday. Was you there~ SharleyY No~ I was not, SO out of the WOQd8 cam~ seventy-five thousand @n~kes~ Seventy-flve thousand snakesJ And an alligator. I have ~y doubts. I have my snakes° When I saw them I was surprised. I don't doubt it. I said 'ISnakes alivelII You mean you said Sakes alivs~ Please -- the Baron knows what the Baron says, I said "Snakes allveZ" Why did you say T'Snakes ~llve?I' Because they wasn't dead. They surrounded me and started to wind up, TO soil. Yes -- and the minute I saw them coll I sot an idea.
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CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEy: BARON: CHARLEy ~ BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLFy: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHAR~Y~ You got an idea? Sure -- that could happen. What did you do? I threw a piece of wire at them, What ~ood did that do? The wire got mixed up in the coils -r made a short circuit and killed evsry one of them. Baron, IIm at a loss for words. (LAUGH) Donlt worry -- Itll lend you a few. Never mind - let it So. Getting back to the dinner table -- did you notice the lady sitting next to me? That ~snTt a lady~ That was my Aunt Sophlel Not on my right - on my left~ That w~s Nrs. Van Dyke -- youlve heard of ~rs. Van Dyke? Sure -- the bearded lady. NO~ no~ Mrs. Vsn Dyke -- you can find her in thQ Social ReglSter, YOU can always find my Aunt Sophie in the reglster too. The Social Register? NO -- the cash register. ~rs. V~n Dyke is the wife of ~ndolph Van Dyke -- the polo play, r. In fact h~Is ~n authority on polo. North or South? North Or South~ wh~t? POIO. Why~ Baron? Donft you know what polo is? Sure -- golf On horseback~ I once playsd polo with the man who invented the game. The man who invented the game? Who was that?
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BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHAR~Y: BARN: CHAR~Y: BA~N: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY : BARON: C HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: -12. ~arco Polo. harco Polo h~s b~en dead over six hundred years, That's his own fault° DO you know who was that man sitting next to me? You mean the bald headed gentleman? Yes -- that was Venltos -- the milllonalre, Not Gene Venires the millionaire furrier? gUHA -- ~nd wo~ld you bellevc it -- two years ago the ~olf was at his doo~, The wolf was at his door? Yes si~ -- thatI~ how he got his start. ~hat do you m~an? He let the wolf in -- killed him -- sold his ski~ ~nd we~t Into ~h~ fur b~slne~s. Tell that to th@ mazlnes! (LAUGH) I dldJ For a young r~an~ hels very bald. Itts funny how that happcnedo How did it happen? He was once chased by a pack of wolves, Chased by a pack of wolves? Yes -- h~ ran for miles and :~iles. For miles and miles~ Yes - a couple of times the wolves nearly got him but he kept on going, Kept going? Yes -- but he ran so far that when he got home he was bald. Wh@n he got home he was bald? Sure -- and i~ only goes to prove ~- (LAUGH)
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O~RLEY BAI~N: CHARLEy,~ BAl~ N : OHIPJ~EY : BAF~N CHARLEY: BARON : -13- 0nly goes to prove what? To pzove that -- (LAUGH) I don't see anything to laugh at. (LAUGH) You donlt know what I know. Oome~ on, Baron - the man ran so far that when he got home he was bald and that goes to prove what? Keep going a~d youtre hound to come out on top. Oh, BaronL Oh, 8harleg| (END OF PART I)
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CHARLEY: BA F~ON : CHARLEy: BAR0~: CHARLEY t BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: C~LRLEY: BARON: GBARLEY: BARON : CBABLNY : BARON : CHARLEY: -15- EPISODE XXII "S 0 0 I E T Y" N R_A~L!~ Well, B~ronp it sure feels good to be on Zhe crest of a wave in the whirlpool of society, bobbing up and down in the social swim, I had one this morning. Wh~t? A b~th. NO, no - l mean hobnobbing with people of culture and finesse -- people with lots of s~vslr-vlvre. Hello? S&volr-vivre, That's French for a lot of good breeding. Flooeyp blooey, What's that? That's English for ~ 10t of boloney, You dontt U/Idersta~d~ Baron -- to make it plai~e~ - discriminating people of sociological signlfIcance. (LAUGH) If ths, tls pl~in~r you might j~t as well ~eep it fancy. Surely you know what a polished gentleman Isj donlt you? Sure -- a feller who JUSZ had his shoes shined. 8psaklng of shoss -- I noticed you limping ~u whatls the matter~
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CHARLEY: BARON~ OHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BA~ON: CHARLEY: BABON: CHARLEY: -15~ "T~ ~O~N~ ~m~ ~¢HA~a~~ EPISODE XXII "SOCIETY" PART II Wsll, Saron~ It sure feels good to be on the Cr~st of a ways in the whirlpool of society, bobbing up and do~ In the soci~l swim. I had one this morning. What? A bath. NO, no - I mean hobnobbing with people of culture ~nd finesse -- peopls with lots of savoir-vivreo ....... .... Hello? Savolr-vivreo Th~tTs French for ~ lot Of good brooding. Flooeyj hlooey, What's that? Thatls English for & lot of boloney° You donlt understand~ Baron ~- to m~e it plainer - dlscrlml~latlng people of soclologlo~l signifloancs. (LAUGH) If th~tls plKiner you zlghZ j~st as well ~esp it fancy, Surely you know wh~t a polished g~ntlem~n 18~ don't you? S~re -- a feller who Just had his shoes shined, Speaking of shoms -- I noticed you limning -- what's the matter~
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BARON : CHA~LLEY: BARON ~ CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON CHABAEY ~ BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: OHARDEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BA~ON: -16- Ey shoes hurt me~ Aren)t ~hey big enough? Sure~ but not for my feet, Why do you buy shoes that are too big fo~ you? Theyrrs not my shoes, Not your shoes~ No -- Itm breaking them in for my cousin Hugo° Oantt ~/go break in his ~vnu shoes? Not todayo Why not?¸ (LAUGH) Hels breaklng in a pair of new sho~s for me° Yaulre breaklng in a p~ir fo~ him and hels breaking ~n ~ p~ir fo~ you? Yes -- (LAUGH~ We're giving each other a break. And speakin~ of breaks ~ you m~de a pretty b~d break at the d~nce this evening. I made a bust? YOu sure did -- when you came off the d~nce floor with Mrs° St~llion~ Mrs° St~llion? ---Oh| YOU ~ean that b~g horse I wa~ dancing ~Ith? She is rather sto~t, Stout? (LAUGH) Sh~s two of the finest women I I think she ha~ a o~se Of obesity° I s~i~ sh~ h~s ~ ~ase of obesity° I~ it pr~-w~r?
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BAPDN: 0HARLEY ~ BARON~ OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY ~ BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON~ 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARDN: 0HARLEY: BABDN : 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: -17- You donlt understand me~ Baron: I moan she~s obese~ corpulent, bulky. FAXT! Y~s, YOU know, 8harley - before the dance I tried to hug her around the waist, Did you sueceedT Yes -- but I had to make two trips. When she was dancing wlth you she seemed light on her foet. Yes -- (LAUGH) But I was expecting any minute shard light on her neck, Just the same you shoul~uft have made the break you made. What break I made? Wellj when you came off ths floor~ she said while she was dancing she felt like she was treading on air. Yes -- she said that. And what did you say? I sald -- (LAUGH) That wa~nlt alr you was treading on -- it waB my feet. Imagine her feellngs~ Imagine my feet| Luckily our hostess~ ~re. Skerstt saved the situation, She s~ved somebodyts job? NO| The embarrasslng situation -- She led Mrs. Stallion to the reception room and gave her a punch. I should have taken a sock at her myself. What do you think of our host and hostess -- ~r. and Mrs, Skerett?
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BARON: CMA~E¥: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARSEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY: BARON: CHAP~SEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: -18- I think they are Ve@~ hospital You me&n~ hospit~ble~ No sir - hospital - ~hey make me sick° llm surprised to hear you say th~t~ Baron, ~rs. 8kerett is well NOstSd on the conventionalities of soclety - 8he is considered an arbiter, ........... did you drop something? I said sh® is co~sldered an ~rbiterw arbiter| I donPt care who bit her! X don't like her - and I don't llke her husband either. I think he drinks mucilage? What makes you think he drinks muollage? He's so stuck up| He is a little stiff. ..,....once over, please? I say hels a little stiff, (LAUGH) Hers ~ big stiff~ Nut they did serve a great blg3 wonderful dinner, (LAUGH) A snack| A snaok~ Sure -- in my country I once served what you call a dinner. A course dinner? (LAUGH) Of cause. HOW many co%tees? fight hundred and zlxteen. Bight hundred ~nd sixteen oourses~ And two hundred hinds of dessert, Absurd~ Ridlculous~ Unheard of~ Unbelievabls~ Was yo~ thereI Shirley?
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O~RLEY: BARON : C HARI.K~ : BARON: CHARI~Y : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: -19- No, I was not| SO keep your mouth~ I gave a week end par~y that lasted two ye~rs~ A week end party that lasted two ysarsV I donlt believe it| Two months. I don~t believe it. Two weeks. I donTt believe it. Would you believe two days? Yes. 8o it lasted two years. Baron, you must think I have a clouded perception. .. ..... Could you refresh my memory? I said you must think I hav~ a clouded perception, - in a state of puerility, - senile dementia. .. ...... Itls my own fault. Xn other wo~ds you think IIma numbskulli (LAUGH) What a mind reader you are~ At this week snd party was over eighty million people. Eighty million people| Yss~ and they -- There arsn1~ eighty million people in your country. Did you count them? No, I did not. 80 don~t be so sure -- there was people there from all over the world. From all over the world? Yes -- even from Cups and Saucers, Cups and Saucers?
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BARN: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY : 8ANON : OHARLEy : BARON: OHARLEy : BARON: C~ARLEY : BARON: CK~EY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHABLBY: BARON: C HAP~EY: BARON CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: -20- Plates~ dlshes~ Is it possible you mean Chln~? Thatls It~ OhlnaJ ~rnat a party$ It started -- Pardon me~ B~ron9 ~t I oanlt go for that ])arty. I----who Invlted you? And if you donlt mind lid rather not hear any more about the party, Not even the first part of the party? No~ Or th8 s@oond 9a~t of the ~arty~ Then the contract is b~oken? What contract? Between the party of the first part and the party of the seoond part. Oh9 come, Baron -- letls get hack to the dinner. IIm not hungry, I mean the oonvers~tlon about th~ dlnner - did yo~ llke the hors dlouvers! • ,oo,.Oo~Id I borrow that agaln? I said did you llke the hors dloeuvers? Wh~re was they sittln~? The hors dtoeuvers! The appetlzers| To whet your appetite. wet my aNpeti~e before dinner, You did? Sure -- I Jumped in the ~imming pool How did you like the soup? SoUD~ (LAUGH) Dish wa~er| Dish water~ ~re - ~ ~unt Soph~ makes what you call zup! When i go to her house I have to eat ten o~ t~e plates°
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0~ARLEY: BARON : OI-IARI~S: BARON: CHARLEY: BAI~ON: C HA RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARDN: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: GHA~LEy: BArN: OHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: -21- Is It obligatory~ ,. ...... ~Mllo? Is it obligatory? No -- MulllgatavmeF° I think the soup we had tonight was delicious, and so war the fish, Fish? When did we have fish? Right after the BQUp, I dldnTt get fish| I got a pieo¢ of leather. Leather~ That was filet of sole. Mine wae file~ of heel. I guess you wouldn't know a good piece of fish if you ate i~° Is that so? It se happens I know all abo~t fishe~! All right, what's a trout? A feller who glves tips on race horseg. Not a tout-- a trout~ Sainbo~ trout, brook treut. broom trout .... Oh, trout|¸ YeB~ trout° I use to ketch them in ~iohiga~. Yeu c~ught trout in ~ichigan? S~re. Wha~ pars of Michigan? De-t~o~tl YO~lll sZ~y me y~t~ Thatls something to look forward to° I know about cod fish, and hallbut, and h~rring and -- Those are ¢ontmon~ everyday fish. How abo~t iarpo~t
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BA~ON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY Z BARON: CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: C HAItLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON: OEANY/Y: BARON : OHAP~LEy : -22- I know them backwardS! ~w about queen fish? Queen fish? Yes -- ~ very fine food fish caught o~ the Pacific Oo~st. Sure -- ~ know her well. Also I know what is kingfish. ~Wnat ? A friend of Amos and Andy° Letls forget the dinner, ~ tBe dinner is over~ Were you in th~ drawing room last night when Captain Dan Rowers was telling us the story of his llfe? NO - I neve~ ~o in d~wlng rooms. Whk not? I c~nft dr&w~ Now youSre joking. If I am I dontt know it° Well~ ~nkhow~ Captain Rower~ has the reputation of being ~he greatest whaler in the world. Who did he ever whale? He didn't whale people - he caught whales - You kno~ what a whale Is~ dnnt~ yau? ~re -- a sardine %hat got a break. A whale is a large oetaoes~n, a vlvaparous msm~1° (LAUGH) A fish by any othe~ name would ~mell just ~8 Swe~t • He was t~lllng us ~bout a whale that yielded over two hundred barrels of Oilo
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BARON : CBARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY ; BARON : CHARLEY: BABON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: -23- (LAUGH) A smelt~ A smelt| Sure -- ~ once caught a whale what was a whale of a whale. You would. I did4 0~ce I w~s on a whaler when we ran into a whale. Just once whalB| Yes. I thought whales traveled in schools, Sure -- hut this one w~s playing hockey, Well sir, I picked up my poonha~p. Harpoon! Poonharp! Pardon mep B~ron, but youlre saylng It b~okwards! (LAUGH) Thatts the way I was holdlng it. All rlghtp continue, I raised the harpoon -~ Now its harpoon, Sur~ - I turned It around - gave It a fling and twenty minutes later it landed in his back, TwentF minutes laterl Sure -- when I flung the h~rpoon he was twenty miles from the ho~t~ Baron, thatfs the daddy of them all, No -- it wa~ the mamma of them all. Well slr, to mak~ a long sto~y reduces ~ we got him on the boat - cut him open ~d what do you think we fottnd inslde? I suppose youlre golng to tell me you found Jonah inside.
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BARON: CHARLEY: BAROR : CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: Don't be foolish~ WslI, what did you find~ (LAUGH) Wh~t ~re you laughing aS? At what re found inside. Well, what did you find? (LAUGH) My Oousln Hugo. Oh. Baron! Oh, Sharley~ (END OF PART If) WILLIAM K. WELLS/chilleen z/3z/33
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchestras and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TUESDAY • THURSDAY * *~LTTt'~TT~O SATURDAY I0 to 11 P.M. ~ ~/ U ~.r/~./.~, 0 WEAF~A~OCIATED ~ ~ ~ ~ve CHARACTER SATURDAYt FEBRUARY 4~ IS33 (MUSICAL $1GHATURE) HOWARD OLAHEY: Ladies and genClemen, the LUCKY 8TRI~ Hour presented for your ~le~sure by the :za~facturers of LUCKY STRIKE Ci~arcttes - slxty i~.odcrn minutes with the worldls fizest dance or~h~st2~s7 a~d the fa~ous LUOKY STRIKE thrills ....... Tonigh% Gladys Rice and RObert Halliday load the Magic O&rpet wlth the splrlt of romanc~ as they bring us the song successes f~o~ the ~r~at in~eical 8bows of y~st~ryear. Our bandmaster tonlght i8 A1 Goodman who is famous for his iI1oder~ danes arrangements. SO letls call for the music and trip the light fantastic. ON WITH THE DANOE, AL GOOD'~AN~,.(~HISTLE),..OKAY~ ANEHIC~! m
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-2- ANNOUNCER: AI Good[i~n and his Orchestr~ begln~ the dancing with-- (TZ~LES) ANNOUNCER: controls, The N~gic Caxpet speeds back to the ~n at the (WHISTLE) OKAy, NEW yORK~ HOWARD CLANEY : Thanks, AI~ those tunes were great for dancln~ ........ There are houseparties and g~Yw good times on many coll~e campuses tonigh%°...itls the m~eek-~nd af%er final examlnat~ons and students ar~ taking full advantage of a few days' holiday. At ~hese gay dances youTd find that the girls have made a dlscov~ry -- they have a decided p~eference in cigarettes because theylve found that LUOKY ~TRIKE gives a welcome protection to their filmy gowns~ These college women have found that, ~nlike other cigarette81 LUCKIES always burn eve~ly~ with ~ lon~ firm ash that resists f~aklng and dropping on ~helr lovely frocks. ~oti~c that, next tim~ you smoke a LUCKY ..... and no~Ice~ too~ tha~ this solid, even LUCKY ~TRIKE ash is always white ~- the sur~ sign of th~ f~est~ mo~t Costly tobaccos. You'll find in your LUCKY none but these choice stzands ~f fine tobaccos~ never ~y l~r~ ~hunk~ o~ s~e~s...~very s~r~nd lo~ ~nd s~lky, every LUCKY p~cked flrlnly~ full weigh~. And ~hen you ~moke that LU~KY~ youTll discover the deliclous~ mellow-mild flavor that is bo~n of fln~ tobaccos made extra delicious and smoothly mild by ~he exclusive "TOASTING"Process. Every ~ellow-m~ld LUCI(Y i~ planned from start to finlsh to give you the ~eate~t ~ount of rich smo~Dngpl6ss~
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(FOUR BARS OF r'R0~ANCE" UP ~Jhh, FADING DOWN FOR BACKING AS L~R. OLANEY SAYS: ) HOWARD CLANEY : AS "Romance" fills the alrj Gladys Rice and Robert Ealllday turn back the pages of the calendar for memories of some of the famous ir~/sioal productions of Broa~ayls past, Their first sonS is taken from Act I of that success of lSi7 - 'll~ytlme.'l The SO@he is the meeting of the hero and heroine as they sing J'SWEETHEARTS.E' Thsn~ from rrLittle Kiss Bluebeard,It a production of a few years later, l~iss Rice has chosen the delightful melody 'IS0 THIS 18 LOVE,11 About three years ago Yr. Halllday was starring in a ~sleal show called 1'Princess Charzlting" and tonight he re-lives the part of the swash-bucking Captain Torelll as he sings "fiLL NEVER LEAVE YOU" just as he sang it in the original production. Dr. Katzm~n~s orchestra is setting the scene ss the spotlight shines on Gladys Rice and Robert Ralll day. (~ISS RICE AND MR° EALLIDAY SING-- ~Is%~gETHEARTS "80 THIS IS LOVE" r'IILL NEVER LEAVE YOU~E) B:OWA RD CLANEY : Our romantic couplep Gladys Rice and Robert Halllday, leave us until a little later in this Rrogram....and now weUre bound for AI Goodman, one Of the foremost conductors of musical comedy orchestras. Hers we go to land right ~t his feet, ON WITH THE DANCE9 AL GOOD~N..(SHISTLE) OKAY AMERICA!
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ANNOUNCER: (TITLES) ( ) (. ) ( ) (. ) ( ) ANNOUNCER: HOWARD OLANEY : -4- And this time A1 Good~n and his orchestra play -- The k%~glc Oa~pet is on it ways. (WHISTLE) OF/Y NEW YORK| Down in Virginia they call Harry F, Byrd IrThe greatest Governor slnce Thomas Jefferson,11 The leEislatlve session that followed his Inauguration as Gove~nor in 19261 was one of the most r~markablc in th~ legislative annals of th~ Old Dominion. Vlrglnlans were thrilled ~s Oove~no~ Byrd put through bill after Bill improving the state govsrnment....he carried everything before h~m and sffected a saving of more than $800,000. a Fear by consoli4ating lO0 different agencies into tw~lv~ deNartments~ By ~evlslng the tax system he b~ought more new industries to Virglnia than any oths~ stat~ in the Union. Vizglni~ survived i~31 wi~h a surplus and found it unneceBsa~y to increase any ~xeg for efficlont~ modern methods of government, We have just sen~ him this telegram~ (T/R. CLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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HOWARD SLANEY: (CONTINUES) H0~° HARRY F, ByRD WIV0HESTER, VIRGINIA SIR: YOU RAVE P~0VED THAT A GOVERN~,NT PHOPERS~ R~ CAN GIVE FINER SERVICE AT LEC8ER COST,,.,.WE RAVE PROVED THAT A BUSINESS OAN GIVE THE PEOPLE FIEER QUALITY AT LEBSER COST BY 0FFEBING CERTIFIED SREMO AT FIVE CENTS STRAIGHT THREE FOR TF~ CENTS... I KNOW YOU WILL BE IBTERE8TED IN THIS NEW VALRD STANDARD IN THE CIGAR INDUSTRY WHICH GIVES EVERY 8~OKEB IN A/4ERICA A FTNE LONG-FILLER CIOAH II~ACULATELY CLEAr AT MODEST C08T,...I AM SURE YOU WILL AGREE THAT COVERN~ENT AND BUSINESS ALIKE SHOULD GIVE THE GREATEST GOOD TO THE GREATEST NIf/BER. ,..WITH CORDIAL WISHES ....... VINCENT RIGGI0 VICE-PRESIDENT IN CHARGE OF SALES THE AMERICAN TOEASCO C01iPANY This telegram, ladies and Eentl~mcn~ is now on its w&y to the hom~ of Sx-Oover~or HArry F, Byrd of Virginia, Its message Is important not Q~ly to Governor Eyrd~ bu~ ~o every n~n wha enjoys a fine~ long-filler cigar -- the fact that Sertifled Cre~o is now five cents straightI th~eo for ton c~nts~ ...................... STATION BREAK ............................ HOWARD CIANEY : Climb aboard the l~agi¢ Oarpet to ride high over the bright lights of ~nhKtt~n....w~Irc clrollzC over A1 GOod!r~n ~nd his orchestra, ..and now we drop in where nelody a%vaits us. ON WITH THE DANCE, AL GOODKA~...(WHISTLE)...CKAY AI{ERICAI
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ANNOUNOER: Everybody dance to ~- (TITLES) ( ) ( ) ( ) ) ANNOUNCER~ Rack to the Pllot speeds the b~gic Carpet. (WHISTLE) OKAy NEW YORK~ (FOUR BASS OF ~'P4DMANOE" UP NULL, NADING DOWN FOR BACKING AS MR. CLANEY SAY$~ HOWARD CLANEY : For the next few minutes ~hc ~gic a~rpet takes fllght on th~ wings of romance guided by Gl~dys Rice and P~bert Halliday. First, they bring you cask to 1915 ~nd Xalmants great show ~IElss SprinEtimeII as ~hey slng "JUST A LITTLE BID FOR SY~PATHY.E~ Then well1 hear ~h~ ever-popular favorlte I~LOOE FOR THE SILVER LININGII which was the hlt song fro~ 11SALLY.~. •... ~Perh~ps yo~ ca~ r~mo~Rer that glorlouB show IIBLo~om Ti~e,II based on the llfe of tho composcr~ Nranz 8hubort~ ~nd that scon~ in the g~rden as the two younE sweethearts ~eet snd sing "T~ SONG OF LOVE~rf Those ~e the m~lodi~s &nd h~r~ ~e Giady~ Rtc~ ~nd Robert Halll d~y. (~ISS RICE AND M~. HALL~DAY SIHG -- ~JJUST A LITTLE RID FOR SYMPATHYI~ ~IL00K FOR THE SILVER LINIHG~f J~THE SONG 0P LOVE.'~)
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-7- EOV~A RD CLANEY : Thank you AI. On th~ backs Of ~gazi~ covers this w~ek~ youlll notioe a beautiful ~icture by one of Americaq~ famous artls~s~ Penhryn $~anlaws. Mr~ Stanlawsi paintlng brlng~ ou~ wlth the g~nlus that IB all hi~ own~ th~ dellghtful qualitF of a sparkling, lovely Amerlcan girld The title of ~he pic~ure i~ II~lldnes~ and Oh~Taoter~ and it is published bF the mak~rB cf LUCKY $TR~KE 0igar~ttes. That tltl~1 IrMildne~s a~d ~har~c~er~~ applle~ ~q~all~ my friends ~o LUCKY STRIKE -- as all of you who ~moke LUCKIE$ know so wello You've undoubtedly noticed it yourself - th~ fragrant~ full flavored, character o~ LUCKY ~TR~K~ fln~ exponslv~ tobacco~.i.°and the true ~iidu~ss that only LUCKY BTRIKE offers, Evory ingredient in th~ smoothI di~ti~ctlve ~UCKY STRIKE blend of choice tobaccos i~ chos~ bec~us~ of its fine~ st~rllng ~h~ract~r ~ A~ Short this tomptin~ deliclo~snes~ i~ enriched a~d p~rlfled by the famous IITOA~TI~G" Prooess -- tna~ exclusive treatment which makes tobao¢os really m~id-- ~ellow-Fdld. And ~hen Fou light a LU0~Y, you'll be pleased t~ find it b~rns ~Ith ~ flrm~ whit~ a~h ~hat rc~i~t~ dropping o~ ¢loth~ -- a whlt~ ash tha~ is th~ ur~nist~kable ~ig~ Of f±~ e~p~slv~ tob&cco~o NO ~ozde~ f~lks ~v~rywhero agree ~h&t L~C~Y 8TRI~E is the mcllo~ milde~t~ the finest of all clga~ett~s~
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-8- HOWARD CLANET: Before we go b&ok i~to th~ da~ci~ ~y I remi~ yo~ that on Tuesday night wet11 prosent a~other thrilling dr&~tlzatlon of an actual c~e handled by ~he a~ents of the United States Government. This oase~ kzow~ &~ 1'Thc T~cnty Ye&r Clue~" is t&ken from the files of the United States Bureau of Inv~stlgatlon~ Department of Justice at Washington~ D.C. With this dramatization on Tuesday, we'll hear the music of Jack Denny and his WaldOrf Astorla Orchestr& ...... but tonight we ire dancing to the syncopations Of AI GooQLman and his boys~ a~d welre going to c&ll on them again right now. ON WITH THE HANOE, AL GOOD~AN.., (WHISTLE). • ,OKAY A~ERICA! ANNOUNCER: A1 Goodman continues with -- (TITLES) ) ) .) ANNOUNCER: Here goes the ~agic O&rpet. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YOBK~
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-9- HOWARD CIANEY : Another LUCKY STRIKE Hour approaches its closeT On TueBday night wet11 brlng ~ thrilling dra~tiz~tlon c~ll~d "lh~ Twenty Year Cl~el" and for the danoe music on that progJ:am- J~ck Denny and his 0rchest~. Until Tuesday then -~ goodnight~ ~EUSICAL SIGNATURE) THIS IS THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING 0014PANY. AOEROY/chilleen 2/4/~3
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modern Minutes w'i~ he world's finest Dance Orchestras and Famous LUCKY STRIKE llrdlls TUESDAY • TH~DAY I '" LTT?'VT~ SATURDAY 10 to 11 P.M. ~ d ,d~ V'~.l.l~.,l.~O WEAFa~ASSOCIATED _ ~ w have CHARAC"TER TUESDAYt FEBHUAHY 7, 1933 ( EUSICAL BIGNATURE ) HOWARD CLANEYY ~ Ladies and gentls~en, the LUCKY BTHIKE Hour pr~sonted for your pleasure by the ~nanuf~ctu~ers of LUCKY STRIKE Cig&rctto~ - sixty i~od~ minutes ~Ith th~ worldts fin~8~ dance orchostras~ ~nd the f~:~us LUCKY STRIKE thrills ..... Tonl~ht ~ present liTHE TWENTY YEAR CLUE~ .,..~no~h~r in o~r series of draI~tlzatlons b~sed on aCtLtal Case8 from the fil~s In Washington, D°O°~ and while t~ audlon~e i~ ~lll~n~ th~ ILagic C~rp~t The&tr~ Ist*s ~o calling On Jack D~nny ~d hi~ grand b~d fro~ the Einpir~ Roo~ of ~he Hc~el Waldorf A~tori~. H~r~ ~c go ...... so enjoy yourself,~ ON WITH Th~ DANCE JACK DENNY. ,..(WHISTLE). ,..OKAY A~RICA~ Ii
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JACK DENNY: Good evening, everybody -- this is Jack Denny, Tonight wc play flrst -- (TITLES) ) (_ > ) ) ) The ~a~Ic Carpet epeeds back to ths Pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAY, NEW YO~! Thank yo~, Jaok, Well, Itus happened at last~ One of New York's best- known stores has ~us~ had a style show featuring - what do you thlnk? - trouser-suits for womenL A certain famous German movie sta~ Is said to be re sponslble for ~his f~hion....and the New York women who visited the show were certainly intrigued by the idea. It looks as if men canlt keep a good thing for themselvss any more* It w&s men who flrst dlscover~d LUCKIE81 yau k~ow ~ m~n who first To~lized how d~liaious ~ ~toastedIn cig~rette could be. And yet todayj they are womenns favorltes~ ~oo. Women ~h~v~ found OUt about LUaKIE8a dlstinotlvet ~lavozful goodness - the smooth9 rich quali%y of the finest tob~csos~ firmly p~cked - f~ll w~i~h%. A~ b~c~e ~v~ry dellc~ous shred is "TO~STED~" LUCKY STRIKErs choice tobaccos are truly mild - pure - be~er I~ ~very way~ Wome~ have dls¢ov~red~ too~ th~ LUCKIES ~lw~ys burn wlth ~ lcng~flrm ash tha~ resists the tendency to fl~k~ and drop cn thelr clo~hes ~ ~nd how welcome a quality that fir~ &sh is, whether a ~o~an be d~essed in the latest thing in tlve~ds c~ & ~&int y g°wn!(MR, CLA~Y CONTINUES O~I NEXT PAGe)
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-3- HOWARD CLANEY: (CONTINUES) When you smoke a LUCKY, no%Ice %ha% %his firm ~8h is white -- the unmistakable sign of really fine tobaccos° ~y not light up a LUCKY right now - enjoy all the smoking pleasure thatrs yours in that little tube of oholce LUCKY BTRIKE tobaccos| Row ~eTre in the ~±c Garpe~ The~t~o~hat g~e~ pla~RO~Be wRe~ ~ve~y on~ san view ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~R~ ~ ~ ~R~ ~ ~¢~ ~ ~HE ~y Y~AR C~R~ ~ Ju~e ~ ~R~ ~° Sp~i~ ~ F~ ~ ~e~E ~ru~ ~ ~h~F ~ ~ ~s ~ ~ ~e~o (FIRST PART ~# 'ITUE TWENTY YEAR CLUE'I)
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-4- HOWARD CLANEY: If there is any honor a~ong thlevesj John E!~mett never heard ~bout it, Now that the F~d~l~l Agents are on his trallt can he continu~ to vlol~te bo~h the code of the underworld and the l~ws of organized sooi~y~ Well1 learn the outcome of thls cas~ l~t~r in toni~tls p~ogr~mI but in the ~eanwhile~ welre off to Jack Denny and hls orchestr~ who are waitlng to flood your loudspeaker with ~elodyo ON WITH T~ DAKCK gACK DENNY~,~,(WKISTLE),.,.OKAY AIS~RICA~ JACK DENNY: Evsrybody dance while we play -- (TITLES) ( ) < ) ( ) ( ) ( ) JACK DENNY: Mere goes the ~a~lc Carpet, (WHISTLE) OKAY N~V YOP~!
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-5- HOWARD C~ANEY ~ 8ome men know Vinoe~t Astor as ~ vlgorous, ahl~ offlaer in the United St~es Navy ~rlng the war,...some kno~ nlm ~s a gre~t ~portB~n~ ao~modore Of ~he New York Yacht Club -- ~ho~o famous cruising yacht the ilNo~rr~h~itr is now o~ ~ fishing expedition off Nassau~ 8clentlsts k~ow Vincent Astoz for his ~ny expeditions and B~ientlfic crulse~. And ~ll who have met this stralght-thlnki~g~ energetic hc&d of the Astor f~mily in Amer±o~ know him as a hard, ~ontln~o~s ~orker whoB~ motto i~ "Follow a thlng through - and se~ that it is ~ell do~e.~r That i~ why w~ h~ve j~st ~ ~In~te ago sen~ this r~diogr~m to Vlnc~nt Astor. ~R. VINCENT ASTOR ABOARD STF~ YACHT ~INOUR~LI~ CRUISING OFF NABSAU BAHAMA ISLAND~ I~ ALL YOUR A~TIVITIE$ YOU MAKE ~URE THING8 AP~ DONE ~ELL F~OE BEGINNING TO END ..... BEGAUSE WE FOLLOW EXACTLY THIS PRINCIPLE IN ~UFA~TURE OF CERTIFIED C~EM0 ~IGARS I KNOW YOU WILL BE I~TE~STED I~ NEW FORWARD STEP IN 0FFERIN~ THI~ F~E CIGAR TO A~ERICAN PUBLIC .... CERTIFIED ~E~0 STA~T~ WITH FINEBT LONG-FILLER TOBACCO I~ ROLLED IN FA~0U8 PERFECTO ~HAPE T~N FINISHED UNDER GLA~ FOR SANITARY PROTECTION...A~D NOW TO GIVE EVERY ONE CHANCE TO ENJOY THIS FINE CIGAR AT LOW PRICE WE OFFER CERTIFIED CREDO AT FIVE~ CENTS STRAIGHT THREE FOR T~N CENT~...~THE FINAL STEP IN GIVING A~RICA~$ A REALLY FINE CIGAR AT L~DUN~T COST.~..°. CORDIALLY VINCENT RI~GI0 VICE-PRE~IDENT IN CHARGE OF ~ALES THE A~ERICAN TOBACCO C0~PANY (~Ro CLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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N0~ARD ~_~Y: (C0NTZNUES) This iS ths radiogTamI ladies and gentlemen, which is now flashing through the air on its way to Vincent Astor~ cruising off the Baha~ua Islands. In this message you will find the news that ]~%s brought Certified Stems leadership in the cigar industry -- the fact that Tins, lon~-filler @ertified Cremos are now five cents straight~ three for ten cents. ......................... STATION BREAK ............................ HOWARD CLANEY: The program calls for danoing and t~t means we're going $o drop in on Jack Dsnny~ the Kenlal ~mestro from the Hotel Waldorf Astoria. so -- ON WITH THE DANCE JACK DENNY... (WHISTLE)..0~AY AMERICA! JACK DE~IY: Swing you~ partners to - (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) JAOK DENNY: The ~agIc 0arpet flashes over our heads and starts back to the m~n at the controls. (WHISTLE) OKAY NFW YORK~
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-7- HOWARD OLANEY: Therels the curtKl~ c~ll.,...so let's leave the lobby of the i~a~ic Carpet Theatre and ~e~ back into those front row seats for %ho final ~ot of IrTHE ~ENTY YEAR CLUE~tr a dramatization Of an actual oase f~om the files of the IJnited StateB Bure&u of Investigation. John E[r~mctt iB bcin~ hunted as the le~der Of a trio of gunmen who ~hot down snd killed the Btorekeeper on an Indian re~orvation in ~outh Dakota. En~mett double-crossed his two henchmsn) Fred ~Ys and ~urley Lo~n~ ~d they~ captured ~y the ~edcral A~ents~ oonfcB~ed to their pa~t in the c~imeI naming Emmett a~ th~ ~ing-leado~. Fcdoral Agents D~vis and Osborne are ~earching the Indian reserv~tlon fo~ ~lues that m~y lead them to the fu~itivc. Mow 8oe¢lal Agent Five is ~eceiviD~ inst~tlon~ from headquarters. (WHISTLE) ON WITH THE 8HOW~ (SECOND PART -- "THE TWENTY YEAR CLUE'r)
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-S- HS!VAED CLANET : ~hen John E;c~ett changed his n~me~ h~ ~x~o~¢ted to b~ rid Of th~ Neder&l AgentsI b~t ~e couldnlt oh&nEe his oh~racter, and bib bl~stcri~g vazlty m~rk~d him j~Bt ~ clo&rly as t~o tattooed initials On hls ~rm labeled hi~ ~ thief and ~ ~rderer. Next Tuesday ~ight weill bring TO~ ~nother c&se from tho files of the United States B~r~au of ~nv~stigation, ~partm~nt of J~8~ic~ at Was~i~to~j D.0. ~ight no~ ho~ever~ weIll give yo~ the m~si~ that has ~de Jack De~y on~ of the big reasons wh~ membcrs of New York's I'~00~ flook nightly to th~ ~aldorf~Astor~a. ON WITH T~ DANCE JACK DENNY....(WHISTLN)°...OK&Y A~RICA~ JACK DEN~ Now we play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) JACK PENNY: The ~agic C~rRet starts On its way. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK!
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-9- HoI~rARD OLAN~Y : Did you kno~, ladies~ that the statics of the gay nlne~!es are going to be the latest thing in evening ~owns for 19337 Hc~els an ~rticl~ by on~ Of Amerlcals leading fashio~ exp~rt~ ~re@Icti~g ~!ffle~ and lace~ lustrous ~a,tlns and chiffon~.,~.what a joy to a woman to wear such a go'~ gag and colorful - a~d what a ~ragedy to l~ve ~uch a lovel~ n~w gown ~ined by f&lli~ ~sh ~rom & ci~arett~l If ~h~t h~s ev~ h~ene~ to ~ou~ vouTll appreGia~ the fact that LUCKY STRIKE leave~ a firm white ash that resiBt~ thc tendency to ~Lrop and fl~ke o~ clothes. Tobacco oxpcrts recogniz~ that fir~1 white ~sh as convincing proof of LUC-(Y STRIgE~ s~perlor q~alit~. ~o~e~ ca~zot ~y finer, mo~e fragr~t tob~o¢os than ~o into LUCKY ~TRTKE~..°.And monc~ cannot buF a more seientlfic methed of puzlfying these tobacccs...~of Impartlng delicious mellow-mlldness6 LUCKY STRIKE18 exclusive ~ITOASTINGII Pr~ces~ givo~ te those fine tobaoe~ th~ purlt~ that is espccially v~l~ed by wome~ who detest yello~ ci~rett~ stains o~ ~nty flngers~ ~s it any wond~ that i~o~eaelng ~±Ii~on8 of smartly dressed women as well as men smoke LUOgI~B? In all respccts~ LUCKY ~TRIKE gives you ~he utmost In ~moki~g pl~Bu~e|
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~JACK DENNY: ( ( ( ( ( ( JACK DEN~: ,iO- The dancing continues with -- (TITLES) The Y~ic Carpet flashes down the home stretch. (WHISTLE) OKAY N~r~ YORK~ HOWARD OLANEY: And that, ladies and gentlemen, brings us to the close of another LUSKY STRIKE Hour. Don't forget~ on Thursday ~i~ht, weIll bri~ you Jack Pearl ~s ~h~ Baro~ ~u~o,hau~en a~ Anson Weeks a~d his Hotel $t° Regis 0rche~t~a. Until Thursday then ...... goodnlghtl (MUSICAL SIGNATURE) THIS IS TP~ NATIONAL BROADCASTING COk~ANYo AgENCY/chilleen ~/7/33
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4 ~J ~9 J
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C b'RLEY LOGAN FRED ~D~Y8 JO~ EN/FE T T BR. KERWIN BRN. KE~IN UNCLE IXE SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE XV "THE TWENTY YEAR OLUE'~ PARTS I AND II OFFICIAL 8TOHY BY GEORGE F. ZIkgZER DRAMATIZATION BY FINIS FA~ AND CAST: HALF-BREED JOE LUCY BEAR AGENT OSBORNE AGENT DAVIS NREBX FF VOICES NOTE: This property is duly protected by copyright and may not be used in any mannsr ~ithout authority of thc o~er thereof. It 18 authorized for broadcast over B~tion~l Broadcasting Company, ~no, f~cilities, only on the date first indicated herelu.
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SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE XV "THE TWENTY YEAR CLUE" PART I ( FIRELESS BUZZ9 VOICE: 0L~%R THE WIHES....OLF~tR TKE WIRES.,.,SPEOIAL AGENT FIVE ...... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ..... THROUGH 00URTESY OF J. EDGAR HOOVER ...... DIRECTOR UNITED STATES BU~U OF INVESTIGATION....YOU ARE PER3ZITTND TO RELATE AUTHENTICATED STORY 0F "TRE TWENTY YEAR CLUE" ........ HESED ON CASE NO. 70 - 1307 ...... FILES OF UNITED STATES BUPJEAU OF ~N~rESTIGATION...,DEPARTI~NT OF JUSTICE ..... WASHINGTON, D.C.,...SPEOIAL AGENT FIVE, PROCEED ...... (WIRELESS BUZZ) SPECIAL AGENT FIVE: Special Agent Five talklng.,~.the story of "The Twenty Yea~ Clue" ...... r~l people ..... re~l places ..... real Clue6 .... a r~l ca~e,,,.for obvious ro&8o~8, fIc%itlou8 ~ameB ~re used througho~t~,...our Case beNins at F~pid City, 8curb D&kota~ in the year 191S ...... at a hall in which a dance is being held ............. (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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( ~iUSIC BACKGROUND: E~IL~TT : LUCY E~H~ETT : LUCY ; E *~UA T T : LUCY : EI~ETT : LUCY : E~U~ETT : LUCY: E~ETT : LUCY: EkO~ETT: LUCY: EIL~TT: LUCY: EVJ~ETT: LUCY: E18~TT: "OH YOU BEAUTIFUL DOLL" or "ALEXAXDERrS RAGTIR~ BAND.IE ORCh~STP~ IS PIANO, FIDDLE AND TRAPS WITH GOWBELL, ETC. VEF~ PROMINENT.) Hello, klddo. Why...I don~t know ~au. Sure yo~ do. Youlve just forgottcn~ thatrs all. ~Im sur~ IIve never seen you anywhere. Bklddoo .... just because I1m an Indian, you neednlt get fresh. WhoSs ~cttlng f~esh.? CO way back and sit down. Why, I think youlre a 8well doll. Say~ ~ got your nerve. A~ Lucy -- you canlt have forgotte~ me so soon. Here ~- look. Loon ~t what~ O~ my arm -- see? (~AsPs) Oh! (IN TRI~H) See? There's the tattoo i~rk -- the letters ~ou put there yourself. "J.E.'f -- and yourre -- youlre John E~qett~ Nobody else| And you're Lucy Bear~ Yes, but -- That was ~ight years ago when I was a co~pttucher. Remember- I got Caught on the r&nch by a snowstorm, and your father took me in -- Remember? Of course 1 do~ And how you tattooed my initials on my ar~ for me one aftez~oon~ Yes, indeed. WslI, here I am; on ~ way to Canada.
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BOUND INTERLUDE; KERWIN: MRS. KERWIN : KERWIN: b!RS. KERWIN : KEHWIN : MRS. KERWIN : LUCY: TO Canada? What fort Ei,UIETT: Irm going to join up in the army there and go across to fight Kaiser Bill. LUCY: (REGRETFUL) Oh. g~TT: You don't llke that, Luoy? LUCY: No....l donlto .... E~ETT: Well....maybe I might stay here....If I thought it was worth my while. LUCY: (NLq~URS) Worth your while~ John? (ZUNIC SWELLg) E~ETT: Listen~ theF*re playing a bunny-hug~ What do you say, baby doll? Letls d~nce~ LUCY:(F~PPY L~UGH, FADES QUICKLY) (NUSIC C01~ES UP IN BURST OF PREHISTORIC JAZZ, ~DES OUT) i, CLOCK STRIKES NINE TIldES. Nine slclock New Yearls Eve. Thatrs right, Alvin. Certainly hope IN31ill be a better year than 1SSS, We dldnlt do so badly, Alvin. The Lord b~ thanked. We~ve b~en mighty lucky, Clara, mighty lucky. The Indians have done a right smart lot OT Zradlng with us. And the townspeople, too, Therels an advantage having your store on Reservation territory, It gives the Indians confidence in you.
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MRS. KERWIN: KEEWIN: KRS, KERWIN: KERWIN: ~RS. KERWIN: KERWIN: E}~[ETT: KERWIN: E~rMA~ETT: CUP.SEY: FP, ED: E~IMETT: KERWIN: -4- (PIOUS) At least we've kept up our heads and not b~en b®holden to others for our ~eep. ~ pr~y God things will go as well next yea~o TOourse they w~ll. (FADES) Well, guess I'll lock the front door. (SOUND ON LOCKING -- ¢O~ES BASK) (OPENS CASH REGISTER) Now, soon ~s I finish ~ountlng todayls cash we o~n go to bed. Yes, Alvin. (SOUND ON KNOCKING AT DOOR) Who could that be? Say -- that must be the moat man -- holiday's made him late. I gu~. You let him in, will you~ Give me the key. (UNNOUNs DOOR) (DOORS OPEN) What in -- (FADING IN) Shut up. Both of you, Shut up. (BRAVE) Here, here now -- what's thls? Hop inside, Curlsy, Fred ~- (FADES IN) Coming up. Yeah -- And close that door~ (DOOR SLA//~ED) All right, both oI you old folks -- stick up your hands~ You get out of h~re, you no-account~ o~n~ry.
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E~TT : IRE. KERWIN : KERWIN : E~IETT : OURLEY : E~TT : FRED : KERWIN : ~R$. KEREIN : CURLEY : FRED: E~Li~TT : ~RS. KERWIN : EM~ETT : FRED: CURLEY : EK~ETT: SURLEY: E~METT: -5- Can that. Draw your guns, boys. Alvin, be carefulZ You Bcoundrel| Hey old man -- get away from that guu rack~ Heqs re&chlnI for the shoran/n, boss. Fred -- Ca~ley~ Cot him -- sock hlm~ I got him. l'll bust hi8 hcad with this revolver butt. (STRIKES TWO BLOWS) ¥ou....yo~ oanlt stop me, IIll~- Alvln~ He's still movin'. Hc's still goinI for the gun, boss. All ri~ht..Ict him have it then -- Both of you~ (FOUR SHOTS RING OUT) Alvin! Alvin! (FADEg) Oh....oh....msrclful Cod. gtop the old womb| ~h~re's she goinI? (DOOR SLA~S) Too late, boss. She ducked out the bs,ok w~y, Gone for help. She'll have the whole town down on our necks, Wo better soram~ En~ott. Not till I've got that dough ~- th~tls wh~t we o&n~ for and thatls what weirs going to g~t~ Hand ~m that axe~ O.K. -- here yo~ &re. I'll just -- (8TRIKES REAVY BLOW) break open -- (STRIKES HF~VYBLOW) this cash register -- ~d weill be on our w~y, (STRIKES HEAVY BLOW) There she is - scoop up that coln~ Fred,
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FRED: E~IETT : SOUND INTERLUDE: DAVIS: OSBORNE: DAVIS: ~RS. KERWIN : DAVIS: MRS° KE~IN : OSBORNE: MRS, KEENIN: OSBO~E : MRS. KERWIN: OSBOP~IE : -6- Right -- (JINGLE OF MONEY) Itts i~ de ~g. Good. Now we can Scram, Ourley. (FADES) Thle way, boys, Hurry it up. 1. MOTOR CAR RLK~NING OFF RAPIDLY. 2. AD LIB EXOITE~[ENT -- FADES. They shot h~ downj DavIBj murdered hi~j while he w~s t~ying to protect wife and hls property. (YOUNGER) Gity crooks, you think? Well, IIll tell you. Itt~ evident that ~- (LOWgR VOICE) n~ver min~ right now. Hotels the old lad~v. Oh -- how do you do, ~rs° Kerwin? Yesp thatI~ who I am~ young ma~. I'm Special A~ent Davis of the Bureau of Inve~tlgation, ~rs. Kerwln ~- a~d this iB my ~D~rlor~ Agent O~bor~. Since the crime was oommlt~d on Indian Re s~rv&~ion Territory~ ~rs. Kerwln~ we are ~n ch~rg~ ~f the investi~ationl Are you going to a~ me a let of queetions? (HU~ANELY~ No, ~r~. K~rwln, not just now. Except th~s. The three men Who o~me here ~- you had ~ good luck at them? (CONTROLLING SELF) Yes, sir ~ right under that light they were ~tandlng° You could Id~ntify them?
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MRS. ZE~IIN : OSBOP~IE: NRS. KERWIN: DAVIS: OSBOF~E : DAVIS: 08BOF~E: DAVIS: DAVIS: \ (STRONGLY) Yea, indeed. Fins, Then we won't bother you any more at pr@sent. You can look a~ anything you want in the sto~e, (M0lr~S AWAY) But I think lid bette2 lle dol,m now. (DOOR CLOSED) Pretty game, ±sn:t she? Poor old soul. Wel~ not much we can do for her now. ~Ight as wsl~ get back to work. Itll tell you one thing, Davis. There was head-work among the crooks who committed this crime. What makes Fen say that? The7 picked this store that deals mostly ,~th Indians~ a~d is located on the Rsservation. That puts ~em outside the jurlsdictlon of the local peace officers. 8o while we were geitlug here, they had time to complete a nice getaway. Ti~tls it. And m%other thing, I}avis~ this telephone is dead. And so is every phone in the te~ of Lead, South Dakota. Huh! How come~ They out the trunk line....fm/st have done it just before they pulled the job. So when Mrs. Kelvin was able to set help~ the phones were no good, Sounds like somebody was trying to brir~ in gang methods to the reservation, Osborne, HowIll we stop him?
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OSBORNE: SOUND INTERLUDE: FRED: OURLEY : FRED: CU~LEY : FRED: CURLEy : FRED: OURLEY : FRED: C URLEY : -S- Well~ if theylve left this oart of the eottn~ry~ thereto nothing you and I can do, at the ~ornent. So~ until we hear otherwise, wet11 work as if those murderers were hiding out n~arby. We'll cover every place that therels a chance of their going -- The pool halls, the pa~nshop, cheap lunch Joints. (FADES) 1. OLOCK TICKING. 2. ~OJR/[FUL SIEGING: "LET SIXTEEN GAI~BLERS C0!~ CARRY IS COFFIN -- IIM k POOR COWBOYt I KNOW I DOSE WRONG." (CURJSEY IS SINGING) Say, for Petels cake, Curley....cancha lay off that singing? What else Is there to dot Well....gst something cheerful, then. I donlt feel cheerful. Because I know I done wrong. How much longer do you think weIll have to walt for Emmett? Welv~ been here two d~y8. Two beautlful d~ysZ Illl say ~If-Bre~d Joels flop-house ainlt the ritz. AnN not K word from him, I wonder If Emmettls r~n OUt on us? (O0~VIROIN@ HINSELF) Ho couldnlt have -- we ~de him leave the dough with us, Ye~h. Ai~d itts ~ to still be hereI Fred,
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FRED: CURLET FRED: SUBLEY: FRED: SURLEy : FRED: CLrg~EY: FRED: SURL~Y: FRED: CURLEy : FRED: CUBLEY: FP~D: OURLET: FRED: -9- What do you mean~ Fapposed to be? Ilve been thinking.~..why would Ermnett h~ve to go o~ ahead of ~sp to fix ~p a getaway? Why co~idnVt we go together? We grabbed that dough together~ dldnlt we? Listen. That guy Emmett. He ls got a handful of "gln~ne" and a mouthful of "much obliged." (LAUGHING IT OFF) Agh, youlre 9rKzy~ Curley. The doughrs still right where it wasp in the cigar box under tl~at loose board, alnTt it~ Alntt it? (CASUAS) We might look and see. (PANIC) Say, if hsls double-crossed us. Lift up the bo~rd, Fred. Yeah. (PULLS UP BOARD) GOt the cigar box? Yeah -- l can just resch it. Here it Is. Letls take ~ look inside. EmpZy| That skuzk~ He*s ~un off 5nd lefZ us high and dry~ He out-s~rted us. We should have known. Ild like to get my hands on -- Illl tell youI Fred. Emmettls going to be kind of hard to find.- Well -- ainlt he some kind of relatlon ~o HKlf-Breed Joe7 Yeah -- by m~rlagej nhat I hoar. Hels a squaw-man -- married to an Indian woman. (VENGEFUL) Then we'll see wha~ we c82~ find out about white men with Indi~ wives. We~!g track him down|
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0URLEY : FP~ED: CURLEY: FP~ED: CLTRLEY: SOUND INTERLUDE: EMMETT: JOE: E~ETT: JOE: EM~ETT: JOE: EI~£ETT: JOE: E~£ETT: JOE: E~L~TT: -IO- All right, Fred. 0.K~ BUZ first we got to get a grabstake~ EmmeZtls left us sZoney* Ye&h, weTve got to eat, huh? And I know how wetll do it. Get your gun. ~y gun? Yesh -- thatTs right. moo Get your gun3 ~nd come with (DOOR CLOSED) 1. AUTOMOBILE DRIVES UP AND GTOPS. 2. AUTOMOBILE DOOR 0PYNED AI~D CLOSED. All rlght, Jo~° Gill get out here by the side of the r0ad~ Youlve glven ~m~e ~ good llft. Oh, thatls ~ll right, Yn~nett -- t~ll you the truth, ITm gl~d to get you out of my place° You dontt li~e to have me rottnd~ hey? Vrzat klnd of a tribe ~Id I r~rry into~ ~nyhow? I thluk yo~V~e one ~ad actor~ John. Sorry I m~rrle~ ~our cousin~ aren't you? W~llI take a look ~t this th~n° Wh~t? Five b~cks~ Joe. GO ~he~d~ t~ke it ~- itls yo~rB° Wh~t for? For giving m~ the llft. Well°..,thanks. Gay, that~ a big b~nkroll you got, Cousin John° (HA~D) Never ml~d about that! I gave you more than the rld~ was worth~ di~-nTt I?
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JOE: E~I~ETT: JOE : E~LETT : JOE: E~ZETT: JOB: EMMETT: JOE: E~t~ETT: JOE: SOUND INTERLUDE: UNCLE IKE: CURLEY: UNCLE IRE: FRED: UNCLE IKE: -ll- Forget the rest of it~ And say. Yesl but -- All right. Yeah? When you get back to your flop-house in Lead, you better throw those two kids out. You mean Curley Logan and Fred ~ys? Yap, throw ~em out° But wh~t for? (CHUOKLES) Ask lem for room rent and youfll find out. ~neytre broke. Say~ I -- Well, Joe, youfve done me a big favor. But you better get ~lsng now, l~aybe youtd rather not -- see which way IIm going. Understand? Oh -- Yes~ I understand, John. I get ysu. (~OTOR STARTS UP AND RUNS OUT OF EARSHOT) 1. DOOR IS OPENED. S. SHOP BELL TINKLES. 3. SOUND OF RAPPING ON GLASS COUNTER. (FADING IN) Vell. Be patient yet. IZm comink. Hurry it up~ Uncle. We ainrt got all day. Youlrs iRa hurry yet, young feller? So whatls so l~ortant~ bah? None of your business, Ikey. Look. W~natIll you give us o~ these? (TRV//P AS FRED PUTS GUNS DOWN ON COUNTER) (COLDLY) Guns, ha?
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CURLEY: o~ C LE IKE: FRED: UIICLE IKE: FRE~ : UNCLE IKE: FRED: ~CLE IKE: CURIEy: DAVIS: OSBOREE : C'JRLEY : DAVIS : C URLEy : -12- Yeah, we want to put I~m up the spout. How much? Hmm. Lot'~ take a look yet. Hmm° Smith and V~sson, fo~ty-four. Oy~ Colt~ forty One. !~mm~.~J. Well? Lees~, boys. I c~rt ~c~vo you nottiD~ on dose (UGLY) Oh, no? Geeve ~ look once in the weendow -- I got alr~ad~ hundred ~ns -- And Scev~ a lookI boysI on the odd~ sidee of tho Hey - Fred -~ those two guy~ are cops~ ZtarlnI in 8t Listen~ U~CI~j whe~els the b~ok door to this (DO0~ OPENED QUICKLY - SHO~ BELL JANGLES EX~ITEDLY) (FADING IN QUICKLY) Wa~t ~ minute boys -- don't rush off~ (ALSO CO~E~ IN RAPIDLY) And never mind ~bou~ those guns -- you leave them right whore they ~r~ -- on th~ count~. What i~ ~his a pin~h? (PLF~SANTLY) We'll hold you for questioning, sonny -- weI~e Fed~r&l Agents. Well is it & crime to be broke ~d go into p&wnshop~
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0 $20 ~TE : L<{CLE IKE: DAVIS: 0 SBO P~NE : FRED: OSBORNE: FRED: OSBORNE : OURLEY : OSBORNE : FRED: DAVIS: OSBORNE : -13- (WEARILY) Listen, son. You can forget all that stuff....it wontt get you to first baso in our league.. now, Er. Eargolies, these men were trying to pawn the guns on the counter? Dotls right. A forty-four and a forty-one. Exactly the calibres wstre looking for. The guns ought to check with the bullets from ~r. Kerwin's body. Yotl had the right idea, watchln~ the pawnshop. Osborne. When I suggested it, I certainly didnFt think these lads would try to pawn the guns they did the shooting with. That's a break for us, Listen, you cops -- this alnrt our fault. He told us to do it. Wait a minute, kid -- wharfs your n~me? Fred~i%ys. And whets this one? They call me Gurley. Curley hogan. Well boys -- how about the third man? Is he the one that ~told you to do it?" He told us that Curley and me woul~ be big racketeers. Itls his fault the old man was shot -- he said for us to let him have It. Sounds like this fellow is the one you were talking about, Osborne, who did the head-work. Yeah, and he left those boys in oF=g~d shape, didn't he? Well, let's get movir~ -- welll have to locate the big fellow before our case is closed.
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VOICE: -I@- (WIRZLEZS BUZZ) WILL FEDERAL AGE[~TG,.. ,SUCOEED II~ CAPTURI)~C, ........ MURDEBOU8 BA~DZTo ~...~HO DO~LE-C~qO$SED PALS ........ FOLLOW LUCKY STRIKE KOU~ ...... FOR CONCLUSION ?;ITK 5~EXPECTZD P~CHo., ......................... l ........ (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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JOE: E'~IETT: JOE: E~iMETT: JOg: E~METT: JOE: E~IETT: JOE: EMZETT: JOE: E~JETT: JOE: EMMETT: -16- (~oc~ UN DOOR) COme in, (DOOR OPENED) John Emmett| Are you crazyZ (IN DOOR) Shut up. (O00R CLOSED) (FAD~S I~) Ke~p quiet. You muse be crazy to come here -- listen, the Federal A~onts are in to~o SO I hear. YOU been talklnt to Tcm~ too, (CRAFTY) Yeah,...and maybe I got something you'd llke to know~ Cousin John~ Lotls have It, Well, the Federals pinched Cuzley and Fred. Yeah? And th~ told the cops that youfd had something to do with the killing dolmn at Kerwinls store. GO On. S~y~ Cousin John....dontt you thillk this is worth something? ~ayb8 you got another five dollars, huh? (COLD ANGER) Why - I'll show you what ouzQ9~~ get--- (SOUND OF CHOKING) John -- for Godls sake I di~bt mean nothing ~- youTre ehoklng -- All right~ Now give me the straight dope and forget about trying to sl~ake me down.
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JOE: EI~ETT: JOE: EI~ETT: JOE: JOE: VOICE; JOE: VOICE: JOE: EM~ETT: JOE: EI~ETT: JOE: JOE: E~ETT: -l?- Well, the Federal cops earze up here next mornln~ because the boys ~old rem this Was the hideout. And they talked to ms~ two Federal men, What did you tell them? I just said that Iid driven you up near Clearwater. Ye~h? What else? Nell, they ~nted to know what relation We w~s3 so I ~old ~em youTd n%~rrled my oousi~ Lucy gear. All right, they 08/% go talk to lucy if they want to. She ~intt seen me in ten Fears. Sure~ John, sure. (g~0cx og z~0~) Who18 there7 Joe -- goeX Yeah? The two Feder~l cops -- theylve come b~ck -- and theyI~e csminI upstairs. great grlsf| YOU hear that, John? Yes, I hear. The Federal [~n~ They'll be in this room in another minute. Y~s, hnt I wo~It be. 11~ goinr through this window~ Joe. Can you get away7 CanTt they follow you7 Listen, HalT-Breed. All they got on me is a name -- theylve never seen me, and they never will. Just a name? Ye~h -- John Emmet~. And from now on -- John E~ett is d~d! (FADE8 8LIgHTLY) Take a good look, pal. You'll n~ver s~s hlm ~g~in. ~e for the window.
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SOS~D INTEP~UDE : DAVIS; LUCY: OSBORNE; LUCY: DAVIS: LUOY: OSBORNg: LUCY: DAVIS: LUCY: OSBORNE: -18- i. WINDOW RAISED. B. HEAVY KNOCKS - FADE OUT. 3. IlOTOR OAR R~NING OVER BDADo 4. DOOR OPENED AND SLOSED, Your husband is wanted for a serious crime~ ~rs, Itm &fraid John n~ver was much good, But you ~nd~zstand~ I havenlt seen him for years, SO your cousin told us. Then w~t use o8/i I be to you? If you could just tell us anythlng abou% youz husband th&t happens to co~e to mlnd. Yo~ see~ all w~ have on him Is a description and a sligh% id~ of his character. ~hsn we ~atoh him, we ~y h~ve trouble ma~ing identlflc&tion. Well ..... John used to be very quick on his feet~ So~etlm~s he woul~ set into fights in 8~loons or pool halls. I remember ono~ he fousht two ~e~ and injured them hadly, He w&s 8o qulck~ you s~e. Rough-and-tumble expert, eh? And then he -- he always had big Ide&s. Sort of a promoter? Well~ y~8 -- ~nd he Bald g~ople w~re llslow" if they w~re hones~ Or worked h~rd, ~-h~. ~o o~,
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LUOY: OSBORNE: LUCY: OSBORNE: LUCY: OSBORNE: sOUND INTERLUDE: OSBORNE: DAVIS: 0SBOP~NE: DAVIS: -19- Wello...l cantt think of much more about him, Somehow I ~ust reme~uber ho~r quick he was~ and w~it a be~utlful dancer. We became engaged at a dance, you see. (DREAMILY) I didn't kuow who he was, till he showed me the initials tattooed on his wrist. His initialst J.~o Tattoo marks? Yes -- I put the initials there myself~ when I wag a ~irl, I s~ -- (ASIDE TO D~VIS) - all rlgh~, Davis. (CONTINUES TO LUCY) Thank you for your patlence~ I don~t know whethe~ Irv~ been any help or not. (FADING) Yourve be~n a lot of help. Good day, ~rs. Emmett, (BOor) MOTOR OAR RUNNING OVER RDAD. FADE8 LOWER FOR FOLLOWING DIALOGUE. That tattooing gag is goin~ to be our salvation ~h~n we catch him. If ~e do. Half-breed Joe tells us that E~qett has changed his name. Very wells But he can't change his character. You know that, Davis. Sure -- and we canl~ put his character in 3all, either
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0 SBO F~E : DAVIS: OSBORNE: DAVI$: OSBORNE: SOUND INTERLUDE: VOIOE~ EL~ETT: VOICE If: VOICE: -20- Consider this fellow. What is hB? A blowhard ~ho~s hLmg aroun~ cheap saloons all his life. Th~tls w~he~e he threw a~y the charm that a~t~aotsd Mrs. ~ett, And where does that put us? Well~ I figure Emmettls criminal career is motivated by vanity -- the same vanity that made him have the Inltlals tattooed on his a2~. He wants an ~udience -- some one to strut befo2~; thatfs ~lhy he went back %0 Jools lodglng-ho~se and ~imost go~ caugh~ forhls (GETTING IDEA) And now you think hels dug up a new gang of listeners somowhere else? ~xactly. We know he hasnlt a oar ~ so he canf% get out of this i~medlate rcgion unless he goes by train. All ~e need %o do is have the local peace officers keep a woathe~ eye on the railroad depots and the sort of places hels liable ~o frequent - ~nd I think we'll be talking to John Emmett before very long. 1. ~OTOR OAR 80bq~D SWELLS A~D FADES OUT. 2. POOL HALL BACKGROUND: CLICKING POOL BALLS,ETO. Therels ~ shot for yo~, B~ck~ Third{ you c~n make It~ Sure I c~n make it. ~alt a mlnu~e ~ ~omcbody hold my coat° fill hold it, BUOko Thatls ~ight, pal. Walt'll I roll up my sl~ews. Now Her~ yo~ a~e~ Buck?
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E~TT~ VOICE: E~TT: OMNES~ E~BAETT : OSBORNE : E~TT: OSBORNE : EL~TT: VOICE: E~TT: E~KETT: VOICE: EM/ETT: OSBORNE: E~hiETT: OSBORNE: EMMNTT: OSBORNE: 421- All right, chalk h~r up. O.E. And if I make this -- Till buy everybody a drinK! That's th~ stuff~ Good for old Buck~ Hots a card, etco Evo~ybody, see. And t.hat goe~ for you steP,Hers, too. Yeah? (SILENCE) Say....don't you thine I can ~r~ke tgis shot? Lls~en -- you ~wo guys been sitZlng there since dinzer t1~e. You ought to know by now I can make ~n~ shot: (EVENLY) All rlgh~, Just be sure you call it, that's all. Wherer~ that cue? Hight here, Buck. Glmme room -- glr~ne room~ See what Tim gonna do? (E~TT MAKES COL~PLICATED SHOT - CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.) (SliNKS - ENTSFJSIAN~) How about that~ boys? How about it? All right -- Let's have those d.winks, Benny. Coming right up, Buck. (AD LIB gENKPAL ENTHUSIAS~) (FADINg IN) Say -~ ain't you guys drinking? NO. Not tonight, Listen, I llke to know where Ilm at..°Are you guys with me or against me? IIm afraid we're against yo~. (WATCHFUL) Yes. You see, we're Federal Agents ......
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DAVIS: E~i~TT: VOICE: DAVIS: OSBORNE: DAVIS: OSBORNE: E~TT; OSBORNE: DAVIS: OSBORNE: DAVIS: EM~ETT: VOICE: DAVIS: DAVIS: OSBORNE: ~82~ (REACTION) And you're John E1~ett -- wanted for ~rder~ (DEADLY) Copsd ~ight have kno~rn. (ASIDE TO 0NDWD) K~ep back, fellows, ke~p out of this. (FRIGHTENED) There's gonna be sbootinI, There's gonna be .... ( 0RNWD QUIET) Watch it~ Osborne -- gels going to ~ke trouble. Duck. ( GSAS$ UPABH) Throwing billlazd balls, eh? Do you think thatts nice? Keep away. Keep away. fill grab hlm~ Davis, Fou -- G~t him ~ay from that table, gonlt let him kick you, Yeah, fill tackle him~ (~L~KES EFFORT AS THOUGH LEAPING AT E~/ETT) (EFAVY CRASH OF GLASS ~ND WOOD) There goes the cigar counter, gold him~ Osborne. Youlre goinI to get it -- both of you| (BREAKS BILLIARD CUE OVER KNEE) (SR0WD gUTTERS IN TERROR) (~iATTER OF FACT) Hels breaking a billiard cue .... look out~ Fo~ Fellers! Put that cuc do~n~ Emmett. fILL be~t your head off if you Come near me, Pu~ it down~ I tell you~ Donlt shoot, D&vls -- too many people here. (AS HE LEAPS UP BEHIND, AND SEIZES UPRAISED FRAG~NT OF 0LrE,) Take ~t e~sy, Emmett....easy~ Some on, Davis -- l~vs got Elm!
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:SIAVG
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OSBOPIE : VOICE: I thi~M that ~rs. Kerwin's widow ~nd your ZWO pals you double-crossed will be ~lad to idontify you, Emmet%, NOW1 Sheriff, iT you esn furnish ~ o~r I think wetll all go for ~ little ride. (WIRNLESE BUZZ) KILLER JOHN EI~ETT ...... AND TWO CONFEDERATES ..... TRIED ....... CONVICTED, ..... SEVTENOED TO LI~E IMPEINON~ENT .... IN FEDERAL PNNITENTIARY ...... CASE NO, 70 - 130T ........ FILE8 OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ....... DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE ..... CLONED ..... ASSIGNMENT C0~PLETED ....... (WIRELESS) ...... THE LONG AHN OF THE FEDERAL LAW REASRE8 EVERYWHERE ...... CRIME DOES NOT (WIRELESS BUZZ) FARR/WILLIAMNON/chIII~en :/RE/zz
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---
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchestras and Fmnous LUCKY STRIKE thrills n, ESDAY • nnmSDAX J - "LUCKIES SATURDAY 10 to 11 P.M. ~ ~ ~" WEAFar~ASSOCIATED ~ ~ r~ have CHARACTER ,, NBC STATIONS and MILDNESS THURSDAY~ FEBRUARY 9, 193~ (~USIOAL SIGNATURE) F~WARD CLANEY: Ladies and gentlemen, the LUCKY STRIKE Hour presentcd for your pleasur~ by the ~nanuf~cturers of LUO;[YSTRIHE O~garettes - sixty modern mlnu~eB with the worl~Is fizest dance oroh~B~ras7 and the famous LUCKY ST~KE thrills ...... J~ck Pearl is our privileged ~ucst tonight aB he a~ain m~kes his bow as the Baron ~unohausen....that amazing fellow who recite~ his an~%zlng adventure8 on these Thursday nlght programs° But flr~t of all~ hereI$ Anson ~s and hls orchestra from ~h~ ~a Ol~de of ~he Rot~l Hr. Regis to contrlbu~ th~ d~nce ~slc. ~o l~tls swing into their rhythmso ON WITH THF DANC~N~ AN$ON.°.(WHISTLE)....OKAy A~ERICA~ l
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ANSON WEEKS: -2- Good evening, every one~ this is Anson Weeks and his boys greeting you wi~h -- (TITLES) ( ) ( ) ) ) ) AN$ON WEEKS: We speed the }~agic Carpet back %o the Pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAy NEW YORK~ EONARD CLANgY: Thank you~ Anson. Although it doesnlt look so awfully co~llcated, my friendej actually a LUCKY dTRIKE Cigarette is Just about as delioately~ perf~ctly adjusted a~ a fine radio set.....When yo~ touch a n~tcd to your LUCKY~ you a~e~ in effectI tu~ng in on all the sto~ed tobacoo goodness thatts so fi~mly~ carefully paoked inside. The smoothI mellow flavor of ~olden Virginia tobacco springs to llfe- and th~ rich, winey goodness of choice leaves of Kentucky b~rley...,the ~ploe and ~roma Of fi~e~ Turkish tobaccos adds the 'Isa~oelr of the blend. B~t yo~ know~ ladis~ and ~entlement all thos~ firmly packed strands of silken tobaccos oouldntt give you their t~ule~ perfect goodness unless they were perfeotlF ~ted..,exper~ly blended together by ih~ finest blending method sol,no8 ever devised. (~R. CLANEy CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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HOWARD CLANEY: ( CONTINU~8 ) And the "TOASTINGII Proce~, -3- fellow smokers, imparts the pure, delicious mellow-mildness you know so well -- that rakes every LUCKY STRIEE such a joy to smoke~ Jack Pearl, the ~n of the hour, is standing just off stage witil his friend, Cliff H~ll. These two parti~er8 in azgument are affectlon~tely kno~ everywhere as the Baron ~unchausen and Oharley. Earlier thls evening the Baron thought back over his check,red ~reer and finally declded to discuss his Egyptlan exca%~a%ions. While the 3aron has never clalmed to h~ve known King Tut intimately, we have no way of definitely telling just how f~zbaok the Baronls ~emory goss.....so suppose w~ l~t him speak for himself ..... ladies and gentlemen~ his modesty, the Baron ~LLuohausen~ (F~RST PART -- "AROHAEOLOGY")
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-4- HOWARD OLANEY: Y~sI that w~s J~c~ Pe~rl~ th~ B~ro~ Mun~h~usen ...... hels leaving the ~tage now b~t netll be back in & shor% while, ...... and right h~re we turn OUr ~ttentlon ~o Anson Weeks....,Ansonts been expectlng us ...... so we'll drop th~ ~agi¢ Carpet right at hi~ fee%. ON TBE DANCE ..... (WHISTLE) ..... OKAy A~RICA~ ANSON WEEKS: ( (. We play now -- (TITLES) ) _) ) ) ANSON NEEKS: Here goes the ~agic Carpot. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK~
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HOWAND CLANEY : Fighting against the competition of foreign companies, Walter C. Teagle~ Preslde~t of the Standard Oil Cow, any of New Jersey~ preserved for America her rightful share in th~ wo~ldTs oll trade. And nowI Mr. ~e~gl~ haB ~on the gratltude of Arzer~can~ by his splendid direotion of ~he flght &~alnst the forces of depression. We have just dispatched a telegram to ~r. Teagle -- Itll r~ad it to you. ~R. WALTER C. TF~LE, PRESIDENT STANDARD OIL O01~PANY OF PEW JERSEY 26 BROADWAY N~ YORE 01TY SIR: ALL A~ERICA APPLAUDS YOUR ABLE DIRZCTION OF THE FIGHT AGAINST DEPRESSION ..... JUST AS YOUR COUNTRY~AN LOOK TO TH~ GREAT 0IL C01iPA~Y OF WHICH YOU ARE PBESIDENT FOR INDUSTRIAL LEADERSHIP S0 DO CIGAR ~i~[0KERS LOOK TO CERTIFIED CRE~0 FOR LEADERSHIP IN CIGAR VALUES ...... THEY KNOW THAT CERTIFIED CREDO ..... THE ONLY CIGAR IN TF~ WOP~D FINI~RED UNDER GLAS~ STANDS FOR TN~E HIGHEST CIGAR QUALITY ...... ~E FEEL CERTAIN YOU WILL APPROVE OUR ACTION IN SRENINC WITH ~0KERB THE BENEFITN OF LARGE SCALE PRODUCTION ~HIGH ENABLES U~ TO O~'F~R THI~ FINE HIGH ~UALITY CIGAR AT A NEW LOW PRICE OF FIVE CENT~ STRAIGHT THREE FOR TEN CENTS ...... ~INCEP~LY YOURS ....... VINCENT RIGGI0 VINE P~E$1DENT IN CHARGE OF 8ALES TP~ A~ERICAN TOBA~Cg C0~CPANY (~R. CLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-6- HOWARD OLANEY : (CONTINUES) This teleg2am~ ladies and gentlement was sent a low minutes ago from the studio here to Walter C. Teagle~ President of the Standard Oil Oompany of New Jersey. It conveys the news that Certlfied Cremo is now ~h~rlng the benefit of l~rge scale production by afferin~ thiB fine, long-filler cigar at five cent8 st~&Ight -- three fo~ ten ~ents° .......................... STATION BREAK ...................... HOWARD CLANEY: Lefts have ~nother dance before the Baron returns to the stage,...,weTre on our way ZO the rhythm ~nd melody of Anson ~eeks so -- ON WITH TRE DANCIN~ ANSON...(WHISTLE)...OKAY A/ERIOA~ ANSON WEEKS: Everybody dance -- (TITLES) (. .) ( ) (. .) ( ) (. .) ANSON WEEKS: Carpet. Back to the n~n a% the oontrols d~shes ~he ~aglc (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK~
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-7~ HOWARD CLA!~EY : Th~nk~ Anson) and now hsrels ths Baron 1~unchauBen. Hers about to launch forth In a lively di~cusslon of Archasology in all its phases and we might ze~rk that nothing phases the Daron,..,.we take pleasure in presentlng.....his Royal Shyness ...... the Baron M~chauson~ (SECOND PART -- "ARCHAEOLOGY'r)
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HOWARD CLA~ EY : Taat was Jaok Pearl r~minlscin~ agai~ about his life as the Ba~o~ ~[u~oh&usen. ~...HeIll joi~ us &t thie same til~e next week. Incidentall~I on 8atur~7 ~ig~ @l~g Rice an~ Robert HallidaF will bring ~s some roF~ntlc moments from t]~o theatre, an~ Ben Bernie, ~he old ~estro~ will be on h~nd with an abundant 8uo~ly of d&nce Y~usio a~d oheerful cha%ter.. ~, .but now there i~ d&ncing to be do~c ~nd ~ic to bc pla~red 80 we1-~e off ~o A~8o~ Weo1&s, O~ WITH THF DANC~,..(WH~STLE),..OKAY AMERICA! ANSOZ "~EKS: You dance while wc play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) ANSON WEEKS: Thc }~glc Oarpet flashes over our heads and speeds back to ira starting point. (WHISTLE) OKAY ~S~ YORK~
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HOWARD CLANEY : ~Inute. -9- Very goodj Anson~ weill call on you again in just one A cigarette is a friendly smoke~ isnrt It?,..,'~hen youtre gathsred together for a party~ Or ~ game of bridge -~ every s~oker knows the enjoyment there is in a good clgarette~ But very often youlll he~r some one oomplain of cigarette ashes that flake and fall unnoticed on clothes, Women particularly dread these little tragedle8 of falling ash ~- and so ~tts natural Chat women h~ve been a~ong the first to discover that LUCKIES burn with a lon~7 fir~ white ash -~ a white ash that resists the tendency to flahe and fall on lovely go~s. That flrmI even~t~xtured white ash7 my frlend~p means that the tobaccos in your LUCEX STRIKE are the very finest grol~n,....Tobacoos made mellow~mild and d~llclous by the f&~ous "TOASTING" Process, It is this modern purlfylng tre~tment~ you KnowI %hat is such a boon to women who detest ~nsightly yellow stal~s o~ the fingers, Wo~It you ~oln us~ right nowI in a friendly enjoyment of this mellow-mlld, delightful cigarette -- light a LUCKY~ We're re~dy for another fast trip back to Anson Weeks...,.A~ the smart Ho~el 8~. Regis, fashionable New Ycrkers dance nightly to Anson WeeksI ma~ic, but now the whole countrF is going to step to his liltin~ m~lodies. ON WITH TH~ DANCE....(WHISTLE).,,.0KAY AMERICA~
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w~ ~NWEEKB: ; , f: ~'/~ ~ow we aontlnu~ w~th ---- (TIT~ES) (. ) (. ) ( ) ( _1 (. ) ANSON WEEKS: The Maglc Carps% speeds down %he home stzetoh, (WHISTLE) OKAY, N~ YORK: HONARD CLANEY : Another LUOKy STR/KE Hour comes to a close. On 8aturdaF night, we pzesent ou~ ~omantlc couple Gladys Rice and Robert Halllday~ and the Inlmltable Ben B~rnle, the old Maestro. Until Sacu~y th~nt goodn2~ht: (MUSICAL SIGNATURE) THIS IS THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING G0~PANY. AGENCY/ohIIIe~n 21~I~
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JACK PEARL BY WILLIA~ Ko WELLS FOR LUOKY STRIKE HOUR FEBRUARY 9~ IS33
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~' THE I~0DEP~N BARON ~UNCHAUSEN't EPISODE XXIII IIAR O H E 0 L 0 G Y" PARTS I AND II BY WTLLIA~ E. WELLS CAST: BARON IfUNSEAUSEN .......... ~.......,~ .............. JACK PEARL CHARLEy ....................... ~.o.. .............. ,.CLIFF HALL NOTEE: This proper~y is duly protected by copyright and may not be used in any marn%er wlthou$ the authority of the owner thereof. Zt ls authorized for broadcast over National Broadcasting So!i:pany, Inc,,facilities only on the date first indicated herein.
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"TRE ~0DERN BARON LIUNCHAUSEN'E EPI SODg XXIII IrA R C HE O L 0 G Y" PART I CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CP~RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: Let me understand you~ Baron -- you want me to get you a shovel - is that right? Yo~ Shirley - I have got to have a shovel right a~ay, What for? ~y Aunt Sophie is giving a dlnn~r party and sh~ asked me to dig up a few friends. Why~ Baron - tRaiTs j~st ~ fi~/ratlve s~eech -- you dontt dig uo people - you look ~h0m up. Is that so? ~ell it happ~n~ I have d~ up people. You:re dug up people? Yes slr ~ in Eg~tl Oh -- mumi~ie~ Sure -- and pappies° I dldnlt Know you were a scholar of antiqu~rlanlsm, ........ hello~ I dldn~t know you were interested in archeology. The art that deals scientifically ~ith the re*~ins of ancient human acti~Itles -- thc excavatingI conserving and rcstorlng of antiquities for posterity, itls Co~o~clng.
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BAR/3N: CHarLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY ~ BARON : CHARLEY: BARON; CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : C ~%RLEY: BARON: C HARLEY : BARON : Do you know anything about ancient relics? (LAUGH) I married one. Please understand ~e~ Baron Irm rsferring to antiquated thlnEsj preserved~ pctrifledj ossified, Oh3 I know what you moan. WD~t7 My Cousin Hugo. Your Cousin Hugo? Sure -- was he ossified laat night| Just a moment~ Baro~ -- Will you do me a favor? Sure - how ~uch? No~ no - [ me&n dontt talk about your Cousin Hugo. Why not? Ro talks about me. I donTt care. Hels getting on my nerves, He ls boon living on his for years. Do me a favor and donlt mention his name tonight. All right -~ on one condition, What's that? That yo~ donat mention words that over ~ canlt Very well. If you chuck big words at me Iill chuck my Cousin Hugo at you. Agreed. Tonight =~ verbose vocabulary, colloquialisms and phraseology will be depleted of all academic grandilsqucnce. MY COUSIN HUGO! MY COUSIN HU@O~ MY -- Walt a minute~ I surrender~ I got another cousin I could ~alk about too. Another cousin? Sure -- I got a cousin in Milwaukee.
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CHAPLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: -3- Thatls a song. They wrote a song about Hugo also. What song? (LAUGH) Where you go - etc. When will you stop going into harangues about Hugo? When you stop going into huddles with Webster. Webster is a necessltyS But what is Hugo? A kibitzer. Being an archeologist, you no doubt know the origin of speech? Sure -- From the first word -- and I kno~ whose gonna have the las_._~z word~ What ~y wifol The origin of speech - (that is articulate words) - is speculative among linguistic scientists and etymologists. Do you want to hear some more about my Cousin Hugo? NOL Then throw these words back in the encyclopsanut Brittle Tannlsa and speak Ing-gulch~ Speak what? ., ..... See? How do you expect me to Understand your words when you donlt understand mine? IIm sorry, Baron - won't you repeat what you said? I said speak Ing-guloh! The Ing-~ulch lank-witch of what I speak verF flooey~ I see -- you know th~ King's English, Sure - so is the Prlnco of Wales.
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CHARLZY BARON : 0 HAIGLEy : BARON : CHARLEY ~' BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLFY : BARON ~ CHARLEy; BA~ON : CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: Now~ regarding the oriGi~ of speoch - do you wish to dlscus8 i~? Youlre wh&t? DIs~sted~ I don~t want to hear no ~ore speech about speech. All right - tell m~ of some of your flnding6 in your pursuits of archeology, Well ~Ir~ One tlme I w~ up in Asla ~nder eighteen. Asi~ under eighteen? (LAUGH) Asia Minor -- up there I heard where I could find an old fossil. An old fossil? Yes ~ And I1m not goinG to say it was my Cousin Hugo. Thank ~oodu~ss for that. (LAUGH) He'B ~ young one. What kind of a fossll was it? The fossil of a Bix hundred pound s&lami~ A slx hundred Bound s~lami? Y~6. Thatts a lot of sal~ml, S~o~ an~ -~ Blouse| The Baro~ SnapB the sn~ppy ~D~p~ers, I~m ~orry. ~her~ wer~ you told you ~o~Id find thi~ s~laml fossil? In Babylon, I~ tho ruins of Babylon~ Y~s ~- you ~e~ S~laml i~ boloney ~nd this bolo~ey bolong~d to th~ B~blonla~ Age. Babylo~ is in ~sopo~mi~,
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BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON; CHARLEY: BARON: CB~RLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : -5- hello? I ~ald Babylon is in ~esapo-potami~° ....... did you slip? I said Babylon is in Hesopotamla, In Hesopotar~a~ The way you say it It*s in a mess of somethlnE. To get theme I had to flzst go to Satchel Parent. Satchel Parent? Valise father -- suitcase papa -- Wait! Is It possible you meau Bagdad? That * s It~ Bagdad! (LAUGH) Bagdad, on the banks of the Tigris. .......... Could I come in? I said Tigris -- you know what the Tigris is, donrt you? Sure -- the wife of a tiger. NO, no! The Tigris is a river. (LAUGH) As if I didnTt kncwl Anyhow nhcn I got in Bagdad I felt bery comfortable. Why? Because itts the home of the ~L~glc Carpet° ~j word~ ~y carpet~ Some marvelous bas-reliefs have been found in Babylon. ,.,......o~ce over p~e~se? I said some ~arvolous ~cliefs have been found in Babylon. I got a great on~o You did? Yes sir -- I was digging for wceks and I got a terrible headache.
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON CHARLEY : BARON CHARLEY: BARON~ O HARLEY : BARON; CLARLEy: BARON : CHARLBY~ BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY; BARON : CHARLgY : BARON : C}~ARLEY: BARON : ~RLEY: BARON CF~RLEY: A terrible h~dache? Yes -- so I took and asperin and got it. Not what? A g~cat rsligf. l~m talking about tablet~ What do you think a~ ~speri~ Is, ~ w~t~rmcdo~? I ~e&n Bronz~ Copper ~nd stone t~bl~t8 -- old ~labs~ Old what? Old slab~ (LAUGH) Wha~ arc you laughing at? I thought you said so~nthing else. Did you dig up ann pottery? Sharlsy, I got the biggest pot what "~s ever got? A blg pot? Yes sir -- there wee over zlx h~undrcd dollars in the pot before I raised it and I ~- What are you talking about? (LAUGH) Excuse me - t~t ~as another pot, Another pot? A jack pot. "~fnat about thls particular pot you dug up? A T~v~r z." A "valse ~I~ A I~var z.I: A vaiz~. A varze~ A varzo~
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BA~ON : OHARLEY ~ BARON CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : OHAP~Y : BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : Vazz, you there. 8harley? No~ I v~rze not| 8o the varze We a valse~ All right - the varze was a vaIBe. Letls drop it. I dld. YOU did what? Drop it! And it broke in half. Too bad. Two plecesl And out of it dropped a piece of pollcer~n wire. Policeman wlre? What kind of wlre is that? Copper ~ provln~ that In thosc HAys they had telephone and telegraNh° Impo~slble -- wlre wasnlt inv~ntsd until the fourteenth century. Would it mak~ you happy ±f I dldnrt find wire? Y~s~ It would. 8o I didn't find wire. So th~ BabNlon~ans didnlt have t~lephone Or telegraph. Sure they dld. Ho~ could they -- wltho~t wi~e. (LAUGH) Nireless~ My dear Baron - de yo~ expect m~ ~o Nellev~ a ~al~ like that? Did you expect ~ to tell a tale like that? Yes. ~o welr~ ~Veno I remember one day I w~s diggl~g for nights. On~ day you w~re di~g~ng fo~ nlghts? Yes.
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CHAP~LEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : ~HARLEY : BARON : CHAR~Y : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEY: -0- I don't get ~hat o~e. Tha~Is yo~r fault. Suddenly I came to a lot of flouT, A lot of flour? Yes -- and out of the flour for days I dug nights. Out of the flour you dug ~? Yes -- and one of them had a cap. A cap? What kind of a cap? A night cap. A night cap? ~alt -- I tak~ back the cap. YOU take hack the cap? Yes -- it was a hood~ still don~t know what youths talking about -- will you repeat? .., ...... could you pass th~ ~stard? I said will you repeat? Did Shakespeare repeat? No. (LAUGH) go why should I? All right, donlt~ 8o I will, I said I has diggin~ in flour and I found a knight with a hood. When did all this happen? When ~nlgh~hood was in flower, Now, ~ust a moment, Baron -- there were no knights in th~ days of ~abylon.
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BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: OHAP~EY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OB~BLEY; BARON: -9- Sure there was no nights in the days -- the nlghzs was in the nights. It~ rsferrlng to Knights of ChivalryI brs.ve knights, big knights. I had one Saturday. One whst? Big night. I zean knights that ro@e the countryside on their ohazgs~s. I had a oharger g~turday night too. A horse? No - a taxi -- and oh: was it a cdargsr, Baron, I think ws better do with the knights what we did wlth the vase, drop it. No sir. Itm on the water wagon. On Zhe wst8r wagon? Yes, Not another drop tonight. What slso did you dig up, Baron? 01d jokes, live notlcsd tha~, Some of zhem sound llke the vintage of B.C, 8ome of them are B.H. B.H. Wharfs BOB.? Before Hugo° I thought you promised you wouldnlt zontlon Hugo again. I have to bocauso Hugo was with me when I ~las digging, Oh, is Hugo a good dlgger? A good digger| You should see him dig into a plate of goulash.
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BAPJDN: CRARLEY : BARON : CHABSEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON -io- ~nerc in the world did HUgo ever learn to ~at so if~ch? In college~ In colleEc~ Wh~ college? EtonL He took si~ Courses. Six courses? Y~s soup, fish, chlckon -- Baron~ Pleaee~ What in the world has all thi~ ~ot to do with archeology? Do you kn6w? No. So what ~re you pi~kin~ on mc for? I honestly donft believe you ever did ~ny sxcavating. I~ that so? Well I got moving ~Ic~ures to prove it. Archeology pictures? Be R.K.O. Pictures. I got one what show~ me painting by ~ho Pink Sea. Th~ Pink Se~? Do you mean thc Red Sos? YesI but when I w~s the~ it was pink. And I suppose you a~e going to tell me you p~in~ed it red. Donlt be zillT. But I know what I did to the Dead What? i -- (LAUGH) Well, well -- you what? This will knock you blow out!
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CHARLEY: BARON : CHIRLEY : BAROI{: CHARLEY: Knock me blow out? Flat! 0ome on, tell me7 what did you do to the Dead Sea? I killed itl 0h, Baroz~ 0H~ ~h~rlcy~ (END OF PART I)
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: "THE I~0DERN BARON NUNCHAUSEN" EPISODE XXIII "A R C B E 0 L 0 O Y" PART IT J~st ~ ~o~cnt~ Baron, You say you eal~ go a rIvsr and in the river was floating a head, Yes sir -- a head was floating in the river and it was singing a song. Will you pardon ~ Baron, if I say I doubt the veracity of your statementZ I don~t care what you say about my statement as lonN as yo~ believe IZ~ I say the hoad was singing a song, NowI what song could the head have been singing? I Ainlt Got Nobody, Where did you come across this n~raclo? ..... I beg your stuff? I eald where dld Ion come across this miracle? Who said anything about a ~nackeral? NobodB. I said miracle. Do you know vrhat a miracle Is? Sure -- a sr~ll mirror, Noneense~ A miracle is an almost unbelievable spectacle, & thau~turic phenomenon° (LAUGH) I guess we went to two different schools. Tell me, Baron, where did this happen? On the River Green, The River Green?
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BARON! CHARLEY: BAP~ON CHARLEY: BARON : ~HARLEY: BARON : ~HARLEY: BARON ; CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : GHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARO~ : GHARLEY : BARON : OHANLE¥: -15- (LAUGH) The Nile. You ~ere in Eg~0t, Yes -- but I didn't know iT until I hit the head of the river. The head of the flyer. Yes w_ r hit the Nilo right on the h~ad. Where wer~ you comin~ from? The 8ou~e. The South. No slz - the 8ousc. Wh~t do you meau - Souse? ~y Cousin Hugo. Bo Hugo was ~l~o in Egypt? Yes ~Ir ~ in fact he ~as the biggest in Egypt. Biggest what? G'~ Anyhew, to get to where we wanted to come to - we had to go to where we wsnt to to get to where we ~as going ~nd -~ Whoa~ ........ Hello? I said whoa~ Where is it? %~cro is what? The horse? Baron, youlre over my head. (LAUGH) I'll clirr~ down. You see I -- Wait a minute. ~ ~ere did ~Tou want to get to? The Susie Canal, The Suez Canal,
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BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON ; CHARLEY : BARON: CkARLEY: BARON: C}L~RLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: -14- Why not? But when ~ got there the canal boats wasn:t rum~ing and I couldn't get on the other side. YOU couldn't get on the other tide? NO - 9o I got on th~ other side an~ -- Hold on~ You:re just after tolling me you eouldntt get on ~ho other side. Surs - there ~vas no boats, Then how did you get over? I jumped over. You jumped over the Suez Canal? Twice. Twice7 Sure first to see if I could do it - and th@ secqnd time to make sure. But the Suez Canal is over t~;o hnndred feet wid@ - a man coul~It possibly make a leap like that. Not alvlays, but this happened to be a good year for leaping. A good year for lsaplng? 8urs - it was leap year. I'm sorry, but you oanlt ~ake ~e believe you jumped across the Suez C~nal. Suez you there~ SharleF? No, I Suez not. SO I jumped across the Suez Canal. All right, you juzped across the Suez Canal. With Hugo on my back. And when ,..le got on the other side we took an automobile and went across the Desert. The Sudan?
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BARON ; CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLNY : BAROi~ : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON CHARLEY: BARON: -15- ........ I beg your ianguage~ The Sudan? No~ it ~s a~ open o~r. NOj no~ I mean ire S~da~ -~ the deBert lu Bouthern Ngypt~ Sure ~- there is where I dug up a dog-a-brush. A dog-a-brush? A catacomb. A oatacomb ~ Tomb of a Pharoah. To Whom of a Zhat-o~ A Pharoah -- an Eg!~tian Xing, Of ¢o~rse, All ~ou~d me waB lying r~m!:lies, Al~ around you w~e lying ~ummieB? Yes° You ano~stor$, Sure I -- Am I being insulted? Itm sorry - tell me i~ it true, when they mummifled the Egyptian Kin~s th~v put their earthly belongings in the tombs? Absolutely. Tho!~ p~t in ~apon~ food~ ~,on~F -- Why money? To pay their way across the piece of wood. Acros~ the piece of ~ood~ Th~ poles - the walking ¢~ncs -- Wait a minute! Do you by any ohance mean the Styx? Thatls i~! The Styx[ And al~o they pu~ in a dried ha~ They call that ~, ~ammon.
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CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BAROh" : C~ARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY ~ BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARilY : P~RON: CHARLEY: BARON: -16- A dried I~am is a gammon. (LAUGH) I took one out and they made me put it back, You took out a gammon and they madc you put it back? Yes. and thatts the way the gape s~arted. What game? Backgammon. You oanlt :~ke me believe that. YO~ ~8~r Can, Never can what? Hake believe. One doesnkt have to !~ke believe when authentic facts are at hand. For instance -~ the unearthing of King Tut was a m~rvelous achievement. glng 9~t. Y~S. Tut, rut -- that was nothing. I SLkDpOSe youtVe done better, Yes sir - last n~ght. What do you mean? I got three kings and a pair of queens, I am not talking about cards. I~m talking about mummies - get my words right ~- (LAUGH) Okay~ ~ummlcs the word. What else did you find in the catacombs? I found eleven million lazy people. Eeleven million lazy people? (LAUGH) Idols|
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CHARLEY.~ BARON : OKaRLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : 0HAP~LEY: BARON : C HARLEy : BARON : ~,HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY BARON CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BAF4~N : CHARLEY: BARON: CHA~EY : B~RON: CHARLEY: -17- Oh, EgYptian DeitlesJ 8&Id DeitlesL Graven i~gesI Baal~ ~olochs Juggernautj Buddha+ ~LAUGH) That'B what they did ~o Aunt ~ophi~ when ~h~ sang last night. Booed her. Wait a m~nute, B~ron. How do you come to talk about yaur A~zt 8ophle when I+m t~iki~ about Deities? I should have spoken ~out my Cousin Hugo. Why Cousin Hugo? Because h~ onc~ had them, HA o~oe n~d wh&t? Th~ D,T+s, 0h~ wharfs t~ ~o. Whil~ you ~r~ i~ E~ypt did yo~ visit the Pyramids? I called on lem but they wasnlt ho~+ Th~ Pyr~mids~ The Py~mids~ That hav~ b~on ~tand~ng for thousand of y~ars. S~n~ing ~or tho~nd~ of yea~s? Y~S° ~y goo~ness~ Why don~t Shay sit do~n? L~t it go -- Did you s~ th~ ~hlnx? Y~S -- and I go~ ~omesi~k+ ~hy did you g~t homesick? It ~emlnded '~e of my Aunt Sophi~. The ~Rhlnx is consldered an ~nigI~ - i~ Sophie an
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BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHAgLEY : -18- (LAUGH) No -- anemic. ~aron~ youlre woa~in~ mo Out. Donlt worry - Irll ~e~r you in again° What wag th~ best thing you took out of Egypt? A t~aln. They didn't have a~y trai~s 5000 years &go. Did I Bay 6o? Yo~ o~rtai~ly did. You 8~id ~ou took a train out of Egypt. ~re. How do you s~p~oso I ~ot o~t of ~here, on roller skates? Oh, yo~ mea~ you left there by it&In? YeB~ beo~use I had to go to gravy° To g~avy? Fat~ lard~ suet. Now where ar~ you trying to get to~ (HAUG~) I got i~! Wh~t? Grooce! Wa~t did ~ou go ~o Greece fo~? Oh~ ~ou we~t to Rome. Yes, I wont to ro~m to G~eeo~ to ro~± ann whilc I Wait ~ minut~j B~rou. Youlr~ traveling too fast for i~ Ro~e. Rom~ is in Italy. Now Just wh~e w~ you? In Liitl~ Neck~ Littlo Neck, T~tls o~ Long IBl~d Sound°
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BAR0~: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : For year~. What were you doing in Little Neck? Thatts the home of the greatest diggers in the world. What in the world do they dig for in Little Neck? Little Neck clams° What have clams got to do with archeology? Do you know7 NO, I do not. Well~ when you find out, tell me. Whatls the matter with you tonight, Baron, youlre talking at random, illogical, incongruous, fallaciously and paralyoal? Stop! What's the ~tter? One more word and Irll chuck mj Cousin Hugo right in your face. Will you please get back to the subject. Just where were you and what were you doing? I was in Rome. That's the place where Cleopatra ~ade her X. Made her X. (LAUGH) I mean her mark. Oh~ hare Anthony. Also the home of Ben Ror, the famous chariot racer. ....... I beg your stuff? Ben Bur the chariot racer. Now donlt stand there and tell ins ~;ou donlt know what a chariot is? Please, I could stand anywhere and toll you what it is.
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CHARLEY: BARON : O}SiRLEY : BARON CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON~ CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARL~y : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: -gO- Well~ wh~t is a chariot? Something that begins at home. It wae in Bome where I dug up a whole city. What city? OhiC~O, Why Chio~go i8 not in RO~, it i8 In the United States. (LAUGH) That suits ~eJ ~o~ did you get fro~ Bo~e to Chicago? (LAUGH) You hove no idea how I travel ~hen I dlg. Are ~ou going to tell me that you dug Rll the way through the earth and game out in ~bicago? I was~ h~t yo~ s~ved m~ the troubleb Of course you kuew I donlt believe it, ..... Would you beiicv~ Pittsburgh? NoI I WO~id not, What to~ul would you believe I came out in? I wouldnlt believe you c&me out in any to~rn. You caurt buffalo me. ThatTs where I c~me out. Where? Buffalo. I give up. If you do, itTll b~ the flr~t time you ever di~. While I was digging I c~me to the place where they dug out the sausage, Wh~t s~usage?
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:N0~VH :X~q~VHD : KZIHV~0 : N0~VK : XZq~VH0 : ~OHVH : I~T6V~D :~q~VH0 :A~qHVH0 :~0~V~ :XXqH~0 :I~qHVHO :~0KV~
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Ck%RLSY : BAROh' : CPL~RLEY: BAR01[: CHArLey : BARON: CHARLEy: BAROH: -33- Why did zhey ohange their mind about Takin~ the ha~d twelv~ inches? Because -- (LAUGH) Beoause what? Be~aus~ if they Bid - (LAUGY) ?;~.y~ are you ~oing to f~in~? No! --~ ~r~! CU~ OU~ this nonsense, Bazon and ~c~l ~:e wh2 dldu%~t they m~ke the h~nd of th~ Statue cf Liberty twelve inches? Because ±f they did - (LAUGH! the hand would nave boon a fco~i Oh, 8h~rl¢y[ let the smelling salts WILLIAM K. WELLS/ohilloen ~/~/~
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i ~ III I THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchesh'as and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills nresr, AY • TmmSD~Y J "LTT*',KIEo SATURDAY l0 to U P.M.. ~ ~ j U ~ O W'F~.F~IA~ ~ ~ r~ have CHARACTER 8_ATURDAY FDBRUARYII 1933 (MUSICAL 81GNATURE) HOWARD CLANEY: Ladies and gentlemen, the LucKY STRIKE Hour presented for your pleasure by the manufacturers of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes Sixty modern minutes with th~ worldls finest dance orohestr~gl and the famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills. The ~agic Carpet tonight carries us swiftly bstween New York and Chicago. In New York we'll hear Hladys Fdc~ and Robert Halliday, singing ro!nantic songs from musical comedy and operetta. In Chicago~ Ben Bernie is holding forth in the popular College Inn... he's ready to welcome all of uS there right now and dispense his music and good cheer, so -- ON WITH THE DANCE, BEN BE~IE..,(WHISTLE)...OKAY, CHICAGO~
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-2- (BEN BERNIE INTRODUCES FIRST ~USIC GROUP) ) ) ) BEN BEP~IE ~ Hore goes th~ MaEic Carpet. (WHISTS) OKAY, NEW ¥0~I HOWARD 0LANE¥: Did you know~ ladies and gontlc~on~ that if you wcrc to try to bring together all the tobaccos that are assembled in ono LUCKY STRIKE S±~rette -- whF~ it would take you more th~n thre~ *months of constant trav~ling~ You would visit dozens of rob&coo centers in Vir~Ini~ the C~rolinasj ~nd Georgia ~- seleoting the finest af thelr smooth~ mellow leaves....Yourd travel clear to Turkey~r those $pic~ a~omatio le&ves that add BO ~uoh to LUCKY ~TRIKE'8 g~od~ss....Yould visit beautif~l KeDtucky for those rich, wince leaves Of choloe Burle~ tobacco ..... And even then~ my f~i~d~, yo~td h~ve to wa~t almost three ye~r~ wh~le those tobaccos ~o~e slowly ~glng a~d m~llowing ..... until the time came to give the~ that £!n&l ~nd ~ost ±mport~n~ ~teD....tn~ famous I'TOA~TING11 Proco~s ~hlch in~rts %ho tru~ d~llcious melmow~mildncss th&t1~ so ~ch ~ p~r~ of the enjoyment of LUCKY STRIEE. ~hen you con~idcr ~ll the time, and the car~ a~d th~ wld~ exp~ri~no~ that gooB into prep&r~ng one little LUCKY ~TRIEE for you~ enjoyment r~ ~hy, it's no wonder, is It~ ~h~t LUCKIES g~ve FOU so ~ch pleasure! LUCKiEr, ple~se~
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(FOUR BARS OF "RSk~ANOE" UP FULL~ FADING D0~q~ F0N BACKING AS ILR. CLANEY SAYS: ) HOWARD CLANET : We drift into the sgirlt of romance as Dr. Katz*u~n's Orchestra weaves the background for Glady~ Rice and Robert Halliday. About fifteen years ~go i'Niddlers Three" was one of the very successful musical productions on the Great Whi~e "[Ie~y, and tonight for their first song, Miss Nice and llr. PL%llldzy have chosen the outstanding number from that show, "Can It Be Love At Last?" 0oca~r Strauss' "0hocolate Soldier'~ was produced soon after the turn of the century and brought forth the lovely melody that will never be forgotten, 'IDly Hero.li Then we turn to a ~usic&l comedy of T¢ore reoe.~t years Cole Porterls great "Fifty Eillion Frenoamenjl and the hit song "You Do Something To ~s." Now the spotlight follows Miss Rice and ~r. Halllday to the confer of the stage. (MISS RICE AND WR, HALLIDAy SING ~- "CAN IT BE LOVE AT LAST" "~Y HERO" "YOU DO SOI~[~THING TO ~E"I HOWARD CLANNY : Thank you, ~Iss Nice...thank you, ~r. Halliday. We'll Nick yo~ ~p again I~ ~ little whil~ ..... now welre westward bound to the dance floo~ of the College Inn~ where Ben B~rnie relgns as the old maestro, so -- ON WITH THE DAN~E (WHISTLE) OKAY CHIC~O0:
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-4- (BEN BERNIE INTRODUCES SECOND MUSIC GROUP) ( ( ( ( ( BEN BERNIE: Pilot. The Ma&~c Carpet speeds out of Chicago and back to the OKAY NEW YORE! (WHISTLE) HOWARD OLANEY : All the ~orld admires and respects a thoroughbred. Marshall Yield III is prlm~rily known as ~h~ third generation of a famous lineage3 the founder of an tnternstlon~lly-knov~ b~nklng house, and a thoroughbred in the fullest sense. Breeder of famous horses and doge9 hunter and polo player of the first r~nk~ leader in philanthroplo and civic endeavor~ we are about to flash him this wire: (MR, CLANEY CONTINUE8 ON NEXT PAGF)
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-5- (CONTINUES) HOWARD CLANEY: ~A RNK&LL FIELD 38 WALL STREET NEW YORK CITY BIR: YOUR KEEN APPRECIATION OF FUNDAMENTAL VALUNB IS INSPIRING TO ALL WHO ENOW YOU AND SO IT~ SURE YOU WILL BE VASTLY INTERESTED IN AN INDUSTRY WHICH IS LIKEWISE ACTIN@ ON YOUR PRINCIPLE OF PROGRESS .... IKAKER$ OF CERTIFIED CREDO CIGARE ARE GIVING PEAL 1933 VALUE TO EVERY g~0KER BY OFFERING THIS FINE FULLY THOROUGHBRED LONG-FILLER CIGAR AT FrVF CENTS STRAIGHT, THR/E FOR TEN gENTS ..... EVIDENCE OF OVERWHELMING SUCCESS OF THI$ FORWARD LOOKING PRINCIPLE IS SHOWN BY TREmeNDOUS DE~AND FOR CERTIFIED CRF/~0 AT NEW PRICE*....ANOTHER PROOF....MR. FIELD~.. THAT YOUR POLIGY OF LEADERSHIP ALWAYS ~INO~ •..COHDIALLY ..... ~INCENT RIGGIO VIOE PRESIDENT IN CHARGE OF BALES THE AI4ERIOAN TORECO0 C0~PANY In just thirty seconds I'm going to send this telegram direct to ~shall Field~ Ill. With it goes a ~essage that!s important to every cigar smoker: Certified Oremo, that fine, high-quallty cigarI Is now five cents straight, three for ten ocnis. ........................... station break ........................... HOWARD GLANEY : The ~gio Carpet is rushing us te Chicago on the wings of the wlnter wind°...to th~ ~heerful warmth of Ben Bernlet8 humor and the brisk and sprlghtly tempo8 of his music° 0E WITH THE DANOE, BEF BERNIE... (WHISTLE)...OKAY CHICAGOI.
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-6- (BEN BERNIE INTRODUCES THIRD MUBIC GROUP) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) BEN BER~IE : Back to the r~n at the controls spoods the Magic Carpet. (WHISTLE) OKAY NE~ YO~ (FOUR BADO OF "ROMANCEIr UP FULL, FADING DOWN AS CLANEY SAYS:) HOW~RD CLANEY: Ner~ in New York the ~agio Carpet changes the scene to a setting of romance and again Gladys Rice and Robert ~llid~y are ready to raise their voices in song. First,thcF take you back to tb~t musical extravaganz& 1'Bambo and the unforgettable song ~rApril Showers.: Th~n Kiss Rice and Kr. H~lllday borrow from Victor Herbertls il0range Blossom'r as they sing the perennial favorite I~A Kiss In The Dark.~ It w~s just two seasons ago in June that New Yorkers flocked to th~ opening of that gay and colorful showj "The Band W agon~" and tonight from that presentation, wsIll hear 1~Donolng In Th~ Dark." Now, hero arc Miss Rice and Mr. Halllday. (MISS RICE LND ~Ro H~LLIDAN SING -- "APRIL SHOWERS't I~A KISS IN THE DARK" "DANCING IN T~ DAREII)
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~OWARD CLANEY: The campus of Dartmouth College up in New Hampshire is a scene of happy festivity tonlght -- It~s the climax of the famous Winter Carnival up there 0n the Campus -- skat~rs~ hockey playors~ skl jumpers and wlnter sportsm~n of all varieties have been cemp~tlng for the past two d~ys -- ~nd right now the c~rnlvalls windln~ up in a ser~es of g~y fraternity dance~. Bay~ you winter s~ertsmen -~ ~9~ know how well a flavorful, delicious LUCKY ~oes with the exhilaration of those outdoor wl~ter sports! And how well i~ goes~ too. with the enjoyment of a gay party~ ~omcn pa~tlcularly, with your beautiful~ partF govmR -- I know you appreclate LUCKY STRIKE -~ for you ha~c found that LUCKIEB burn with a firm, solid ash -~ an ash that resists the dangerouB t~ndency to flake away or f~ll suddenly on filmy gov~s~ and ~he &sh is ~hltee=- the s~re sign of the finest tobaooos~ smooth and mellow. Fine tobaccos for character -- IITOASTING~ for ~ild~ess -~ for these two reasons folks everywhere s~y "LUCK~EB~ ple~seo" Now welrc taking ~nother lightning trlp to Chicago. Out there in the College Inn on ~he shores of Lake M1chigan~ Ben Bernie is waiting with all the lads ~ so let's not dclay. ON WITH T~ DANCE9 BEN BERNIE...(WHISTLE}...OEAY CHICAGO~ (BEN BERNIE INTRODUCES FOURTH ~UBIc GROUP) ) ) ) ) )
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HOWARD O~iNEY : As this LUCKY STRIKE Hour draws to a close may we remind you th~.t on Tuesday night welll presont "~urdozs at Se~" -- ~noth~r thr1111ng c~se taken from th8 f11es of the United Sta~cs Bureau of Izvestis~tion~ Department of Justice ~t Washln~tonj DoS. Also o~ Zhat p~ogram Ted Weems ~nd 0rchestra will provide the d~nce music. SO untll Tuesday then~ goodni~ht~ (~USICAL SIGNATURE) This program has come to you from )!e~ York ~ity ~nd Chicago, Illinois, through the f~oillties o~ the N~ti~n~l Bro~dc&sti~ ~omp~ny. AGE}!OY/chilleeu 2/iII~3
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BW PREP SHEET Lov,,1 ~_ Itllllltlllllllfl[lll[llf~,~d°,oo~,° Level 2 illlUl~!H %~\ Levol~ tnunjtjm Level 4 ttillll|~Mit| Level 5 IIIlaplllli L~ve,~ tnmty~unu
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's [tnest Dance Orchesb~s and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills ESDAY • T mSD Y J "L, CKIES SATURDAY 10 to n P.IVL ~/~ ~ tJ ~F~AF~ASSO(:L~ _ ~ r~_ have CHARACTER, TUESDAy, FEBRUARY i¢, 1933 (MUSICAL SIGNATURE) HOWARD SLANEY : Ladies and geutle~e~, the LUOKY STRIKE Hour presented for your pleasure by the ~ar~ufactdrers of LUGEY STRII(E C1=~rettes - elxty modor~ mln~tes wlth ~he ~vorldls fincst dance orcheBtras~ and the famous LUCKY STRIKE th~llls ....... Welve ~eBerv~d ~eatB for 8verybody tonight ~n the V~St ~d±tori~m of th~ ~Ic Carpet Theatre ~d ~B soon as youlr~ ~ii seated comfort~bly~ w~ll begin IIMurders At S~II the dr&m~tlzatlon of ~u ~ctu~l c~s~ ~rom the fil~e of the United States Bureau of Invostlg~tion~ D~rtment of J~tlcc ~t W~shiogto~ D,Co..,.b~t now Te~ We~ms &rid his orchestra from th~ ~o~l PennsFlv&n~a ~re re~dy ~nd w&itlng°....so l~s give them their cue, ON WITH THE DANCE TED WEEI~S....(WHISTLE)...OKAY A~ERISAI
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-2- TED WEEM8: Good evening everybody - thls is Ted Weems inviting you to dance to -- (TITLES) ( ) (. ) .) .) TED WEEMS: HOWARD OL~NEY: We flash the ~agic Carpet back ~o the Pilot. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YOF~I You og/~ft Mistake character in K ~n - In a woi~Kn - or In a cigarette. In LUCKIES you get the character of the world's most fragrant, dellolous tob~ecos~ and you get the t l~ mildness that results when these fine tobaccos are enriched ~nd pu~Ifled by "TOASTING." Character and Mildness - that:s the LUCKY comblnatlon. And so for these two reasons~ Fou hear folks everywhere say ITLUCKIES, please" when ordering their clg~rettss, ~nd "LUCKIES,please" when smoking them~ Itls curtain %in~ in the laglo Csrpet Theatre and the stage Is set for the dramatization of "~urders at goa"....a real ease from the flles of the United 8takes Bureau of Investigation at Washlngbon, D.D, Even now Special Agent Five is receiving instr~cticr~ as they flash through the air from headquarters. (WHISTLE) ON WITH T}~ SHOW~ (FIRST PART -- "~URDERS AT SEA")
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-3- HOWARD CLANEY: The forces of organized crime have won the first encounter with the Federal Agents, but can they continue to go their ruthless pay and escape detection? ~e'll learn the outcome of %hls case a little later in the progr~m.....and here we leave the Magic Carpet Theatre and start back to the rhythms of Ted Weems and his talented trumpeters. Here ws come~ Ted~ so -- OK WITH THE DANOE...(WHISTLE).•.OKAY A~ERICA! TED WEEMS: Everybody dance while ~e play -- (TITLES) Q ) (_ .) 9 .) TED WEEMS : Here goes the ~glc S~rpe~. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK!
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-4- HOWARD CLANEY: In your newspaper today youIll find ~ gorgeous picture of a happy couple basking in the sunny warmth of Florida rs s~2test resort - beautiful Palm Beach -- that deligh%ful rendezvous of pleasure~se~kers. Itls taken by one of Amerlcals famous photographers, and the title is 'ILUCKIE8, Please~" "In every corner Of the wo~idj both hers and overseas~ whorover Tou find joy in llfe~ Iris always ~LHOKIZS Ple~se.~" And so at P~l~ Heach~ with its lovely gle&mlng sands~ its g&Yl oolo~ful caban&s set a~dd the ~heltering palms.....itls smart f&stidio~e folk who ~now how to en~oy the best.....As you strolled amon~ them on the smooth white be&oh, yould hear those ~wo word8 ~iguny &nd ~ny & ti~e -- IILHOKIES please~" "LUCNIE8 pleasei" -- the moment you light a LUCKY youIll reoogniEo the re&sons instantly - %he fragr&n~ full~flavored oh&raste~ of L~OKg STHIK~ fine tobaccosI and ~he te'.~tiDgI delicious n~llow-mil~ess that is yours because these fine tobaccos are "TOASTED." Only LUCKIES offer these two be~eflts, and for these two reasons, Oharacte: and ~ildzess. ..... "LUCNIES~ Please~" ............................ STATION BREAK ............................ HOWARD CLANEY: Now the orcnestr& is getting ready to NI~Y the music for the entret act led by Ted Weems of the Hotel Pennsylv~i& here in Manhatt&n, Imagine youlre there as we say -- ON WITH THE DANCE, TED WEEMS....(WHISTLE).,..0KAY AMNRIJA~
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-5- TED WEEMS: This time we play -- (TITLES) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) TED WEEMS: HOWARD OLANEY: Now the Magic Carpet starts on Its way, (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YORK I As we go back into the ~agic Carpet Theatre for the final act of "Murders At Sea," let's review the first act briefly. A racket~e~ called "Ten-strlkelq Chandler, ~stabli~hcd his headquarters on ~n isl&nd I~ ~e Bah~r~%s and ha~ smuggl~d ~erTthin~ forblddez into the United States, including ali~ns. Wnlle atto~tlng to bring in a load of six Ghinamen~ Ch~ndlerls hench~nj IISport" Du~canl was overhauled by a Coast Guard cutter. H~ black-jacked the leader of the Chlr~me~ ai~d thr~w him overboard with th~ othcrB w~o ~ers ~ewed up i~ burlap bags. The Coast Guard men found ~othlng when they se~rchod th~ slm~ggl~r~s cruiser~ h~/t IISportll ~i~can faos~ the ~ask of ret~rnin~ to ~h~ndler and ~sportlng the lo~ of th~ cargo~ Now Sp~lal Ags~t Fiv~ is r~ceivlng orders from h~adquart~rB. (WHISTLE) ON WITH Th~ ~HOW~ (SECOND PART -- r'MURDERS AT SEAI')
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HOWARD CI~NEY: Thatls another mile-poet in the ttnendln~ war between the Crlmi~ale and the Federal Agents. Chandler &~d Duncan who we~t their way~ c~su~lly snuffing out human lives ..... paid with their own .... and "Sq~eakerl" tholr ~coompIicej was sent to the Federal penitezti~ry. Next Tuesday night weIll bring you ~nother dramatization of a case from the files of the Unlted Btates Bureau of Inv~stigatlon~ Dep~rtmont Of Justice at WashlngtQ~~ D°C.....land here and ~ow we turn ou~ &tton~lon to th~ danoi~ which brings us to Ted Weeme ai%d his orcheetra,.r..8o letls not delay. ON W~TH T~ DANCE TED WEE~°..,(WH~STLE).°.OKAY AgERICA! TED WEE~: Swing your partners to ~- (TITLES) ) ) ) TED WEE~S~ The Naglc Carpet flashes over our heads and etarto back t~ the ~ at the oontrol~i (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW YO~/(~
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HOWARD CI~NEY: Weld like ~o take t~lB opportunity of thanking all you peopl~ for giving us that happy phrasey "LUCKIES Pleas~ Welv~ heard you s~y it th~ country over -- ~ jOyO~B expression of the pleasure youlve f~und 1~ LUCKT STRIKE Cigarettes -- I'LUOKIEB PleaseL'r Azd we~ve ~ken the ~ords ~lght o~ of you2 m~u~h....for nothing so we~l exDresses the enjoyment that awaits a ~±sc~imin&tin~ ~mok~r in LUCKY STRIKE. LUOKIES afford something no other cigarette giv~B you -- th8 rlch~ distinctive Character o~ choice, fragrant tob&coo~ p~rfectly bl~nded.....~nd the t ru~ mlldne~ that ~n only b~ lmp~rt~d to thoBe fine, golden leaves by the famous "TOASTING" Process° Fo~ thes~ two r~ason~ - Ch~r~ot~r ~nd ~ildn~ss - you h~r folks everywhere Say ITLUC~IE8 Please|II TED WEEM$: The dancing continues with -- (TITLES) ) ) ) )
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TED ~: Down the homestretch speeds ths ~gic Carpet. (WHISTLE) OKAY NEW, YORK~ HOWARD OLANEY : That, ladies and Gentlemen, brings another LUCKY STRI~ Hour ~o & clos~ -- join us on Thursday ~igd~ in ~ lo~d of laughs with Jac~ Pearl and ~ dancB ~ith Abe Ly~n. Until then -- goodnight~ ( ~,[USIOAL SIGNATURE) THIS IS THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY AGENOY/chlIIeen 2/14/3s
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SPECIAL AGENT ~IVE PARTS I AN~ II FOR LUCXY STRIKE HOUr_ ~E~RU~RY 1%, 1933
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON; CHARLEY: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy : BARON: CHAR~Y: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : , O RLgYi BARON CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: -14- Bis~rk? Sure -- I said "Bis~mrk.'~ WhO were you talking to? The herring. The herring? Sure ~- it was a Blsmark herring~ I said "Bi~r~ark~" was I flirting?~ and the herring looked at me and -- Just a moment~ Baron - I hope youlre not going to tell me the herring spoke to you. Sure not --- he couldm't. I know it. He was pickled| So my wife -- Excuse me, Baron~ but I donlt want to hear any more about your wife~ (LA~JGH) You haven't got anything on me. Let's get back to my question - did you ever find any wrecks - sunken ships? Sure -- more as I can tell you -- one time I was diving in the Baseball of Florida -- Th~ BasebaLl of Florida? The Tennis of Panacea. The Hockey of Cuba -- Ron~t tell me you mean th~ Gulf of Mexico! That's It~ The Golf of ~exico! I was walking along on the bottom when I met a chambermaids A ebambermaid~ Yes, What in the name of common sense was a ohaFber~id doing on the bottom of the ocean? Taking care of the oyster beds. YOu'll kill me yez.
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BARON : OHAP~EY: BARON: CHARLEy : BARON: CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : C~EY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: -15- (LAUHH) What could be sweeter. Speaking of oysters -- there's where pearls come from, ......... is that sot Yes~ do you know anything about pearls? (LAUGH) Zlm slightly acquainted with them, Then you know tha~ a pearl starts lifo as a parasite? (LAUGH) ...... Welre havlng beautiful weather, And when a pearl is cut in half it resembles an onion in stl~/oture, (LAUGH) ...... lefts talk about cl~ms. My favorite subJeot,...Cl~ms are a genus of marine bivalve mollusks having a soft unsegmented body protected by a caloerous shell. .*.*,,.~ybe its better we talk about cocoanuts. What have Cocoanuts to do with deep sea diving? What have yo~ to do with cocoanuts? NothinH, SO rest in peace. Baron, llm afraid weJve come to the parting of the ways, Whatls the matter? live come to the conclusion tl~at a Jackass and a horse cannot work together. Please Sharley ----don't call me a horse, Oh whatts the use~ Let's talk about something else. Something funny. All right - something funny - What will we talk about? (LAUGH) ~y Cousin Hugo. Oh Baron ~ please donlt get Hugo into this discourse.
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BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : gHAR~Y: BARON: CHARLEy: 2A~ON: OHARLEY: BA~DN : S HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON a~L~RLk~Y : BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: I must -- b~cause he was with me on my most important diving trip. What tzip was that? Didn't you heard about it? No9 I did not, How your education has been neglscted -- Well, it was this way -- one night about three otclock in the afternoon while I was having my breakfast one morning something happened in the evenings Wait a minute, Baron - did I ~tuderstand you to say that one night about three otclock in the afternoon while you were having breakfast something happened in the evsning? Sure. Thatls very confusing and it will have to be ironed out. Sure I .... ~at do you think it is? Wet wash? I mean you~ll have to decide just when the episode you are going to refer to took place° DO you care when it took place? No, SO what the --- Er. or! Burnle. Burnls. Lyman. Lyman. Now tell me what took plaae~ I was once diving for a bottle of schnapps. Diving for a bottle of schnapps? Yes. ,Where did you expect to find it?
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BARON : CHARLNY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CR~RLEY: BARON : C HARLEY : BARON : OBARLEY~ BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: -17 (LAUGh) IN Davey Jones' Locker -- Good night| (LAUGH) Pleasant dreams. When I got to the locker the locker was locked, The locker was locked| Yes~ it l,las just my lock - so I said to Hugo ...... Oh Hugo was there? Sure - (L~UGH) Hugo is every olace - so I said to Hugo - letls get a car and drive up to Albany under the Hudson River. Drive a car under the Hudson River? ~re .... What in the world kind of a car can you drive imder the Hudson River? • .....A Hudson. Well sir, Hugo drove that car so ~ast that it took ~ breath away° He drove you with abandon° Noj with 1~eo I mean he d2ov¢ you i~etuously, Imprudently. He drove you hard. he drove me nuts| Now, look hero, Baron -- I think IIve stood ~or a lot ..... and I'll be glad to stand for me - but when you tell me you drove on the bottom of a river in an automobile -- well -- I just won't believe it. Was -- you there~ Sharlsy? Yes~ .......... hello? I said 1 was there| And we dddnlt drive an automobile under th~ Hudson River.
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BARDN : CHARLEY: BARON: C HAPLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON 1 CHARLEY i BARON: C HARLEY : BARON: 0HARLEY : BARDN : CHARLEy : BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : 0HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: C HARLEY : -IS- What did we do? We went home and went to bed. (LAUGH) Sure .... and while you ~s sleeping I -- (LAUGH) You what? I drove the automobile under the Hudson River. Have it your wry. Then we came ~pon a E~dscoW, A sunken mudsoow? Yes - so instead of schnapps we drank milk. Where did yo~ get the zllk from? The muds co~; You got mllk f~om a mud sco~ Yes, And I suppose you got a oat from a cat boat, a light from a ~, a pie from a pilot shipj and beer from a schooner| Nure! ~LO told you? And do you know what I got from a motor boat? What? Launch! Baron, youlrs a scream~ What's the charges? I said youlre a scream. (LAUGH) I make myself heard. Anyhow I sald Hugo I want to go home in a hurry so "put on steam." You said rl~jt On steam.II Yes and Hugo- ..... (LAUGH) he's such a du~ox° What happened?
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BARON : CBARLEY ~ BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: -19- He looked at me so zilly and said "Steam?" and I said HYes - donlt yo~ know what steam loT" and he said -- (LAUGH) HC said what? He said - (LAUGH) This will knock you blzd olock. What do you mean~ knock me "bird olock?" (LAUGH) Coocoo~ Oome on~ Baron - when you asked Hugo if he kn~w what steam was what d~d he say? He said "Sure -- (LAUGH) S~eam is water gone ~y with the heat." Oh, Baron! Ok, 8harley~ (END OF PART II) WILLIAX K. WELLS/ohilleen • 21151~d
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~ ~ • ~1~r ~ ~wi~
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i THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes wlth the world's Jlnest Dance Orchestr~ cmd Fmnous LUCKY STRIKE thrills • rmmS AY • " LTT,"KI SATURDAY l0 ,o I1 P.M. ~ ~ ~ V~., X.,O WEz~a~4ASSO(NAT~ ~ ~ r~ have CHAIIACrER T[rZ~SDAY, F~RUARY ~i, 1933 ( EUSICAL SI @NATURE ) HOT{ARD CLANEY : Ladies and gentlemen, the LUCKY STRIKE Hour presented for your pleasure by the manufacturors of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes - sixty modern minutes with the worldTs finest dance orchestras~ and the famous LUCKY CTRIXE thrills .... In th~ ~gic 0arpet theatre tonight we'll ~nfold real and vlvld story called "KILLERS A~ LAHGE" ..... .a dram~tlzatlon of an actual oase which oomes from the file8 of the United Ct~tos Bureau of Investlgatlon, Department of J~stIce a~ WashingtonI D.C..... In jus% ~ few m~n~tes weIll begi~ the first act, but righ~ now w~Ire golnE to tak~ you ~ll to Don Bestor, the youn~ man who presides ovor the orchestra in the Cilv~r Grill of th~ Hotel Lexington her~ in Ne~ Yo~k. ~o l~tts ~ll ~roupe OUt on the dance floor and hear from ~r. B~stor.
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-2- DON BESTOR: Good evening, everybodyI this is Don Baster greeting you with -- (TITLES) ( ) ( ) ) ) ( HDNARD CLANEY : Thcre's a delightful story wrapped up in every LUCKY STRIKE ..... Itls a story of character....of the delicious, refreshing character of sun-rlpenedI t~nder tobaccos g~own with patient care in a thousand sunny fields, And itrs a story of mildness -- true mellow-mildness - achieved when these choice tobaccos are purified by "TOASTING.~ Character and mildness - only in LUCKIEg do they meet. Ohsrmcter and r~ldness - that's the delightful story in every LUCKY STRIKE -- a slory of cigarette enjoyment that millions of smokers sum up iz two woTde -- ~ILUCKIES PLEASE~rl Now ~elre in the Na~ic Carpet theatre where the stage is being set for the first act of "Killers At Large." ....... the dr~tization of a case from the files of the United States Bureau of Investigation at Washington, D°C ..... Special Agent Five is receiving instruction~ as they fl~sh through the air f~om headquarters. (FIRST PART -- T~KILLERS AT LARGE")
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-3- HOWARD CLANEY: Blair and Whistling Dan are still keeping ahead of the Feder~l Agents,..~nd answering all questions with the s~klng mouth of ~ revolver barrel. When will the Federal Agants pick up thei~ trail.....&nd can they sto~ them before they do more vicious shooting? Well1 contlnue this case l~ter in tonight:s program~ hut in the mes/qtime welre on OUr way to Non Besto~ and his Orchestra ..... All rlg~ Don, flood those loudspeakers with melody. DON BESTOR: We play now -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) HOWARD CLANEY: Virginia in the nDrnlng~ Bright and early, just as the sun is glinting over waving fields of tobacco, yould hear the stirring call of the hunterIs horn, the eager cry of the hounds off on a fox hunt in this lovely land - Virginia in th~ morning! In Todayls papers yourll see a gay couple watching the start of one of these hln~ts - a photograph taken in Alberlnarle County, Virginia - home of the Vlrglnia aristocracy and the world famous Virginia tobaccos. The happy couple in thi~ photograph are enjoying an early morning cigarette - for in every corner of the world, both here and overseas, wherever you find joy in Ills, Itls al~ays "LUCKIES PLEASEZ" (~R. CLANEY CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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-4- HOWARD CLANEY: (CONTINUES) And how well, throughout the Southland, they know the fine character of LUCKIE$I golden-brown tobaccos - that diatlnctive~ uru~IBtakable character m~de dekiclouslF mellow-mild by ~TOASTING." Character and mildness - i~Is for these two reasons that you'll hear that happy phrase ever~w~he~e - ~LUCKIES PLEA~E~c~ ......................... STATION B~AK .................. 2 .......... HOWARD CLANEY : Before the final act begins lu our ~/~gic GarRet Theatre tonight, let's have some more music -- music that flows smoothly under the baton of Don Bestor -- go ahead Don| DON BESTOH: We continue with -- (TITLES) ) ) .) ) _7 HOWARD CLANEY : Hotels the curtain call for the final act of "Killers At i~Irge'T...~ d~a~tlzed case from the files of the United States B~reau of Investigatlonj Department of Justice at Washingto~ D.C. Whistling Dan D@nton and James Blalr ~so~ped from a f~deral prison camp° After stealing a oar they wounded & Deputy Sheriff who attempted to stop the~ and later, i~ cold blood, killed the p~oprletor of a filli~S station. So far Blair has bee~ the leader of t~e pair~ but Whistling Dan is beglnni~ ~o fear th~ consequences of ~lair~ nervo~ trigger flnger~ ~ow as the c~rtai~ rises, Special Asset Five i~ receiving hi~ instructions fro~ headquarters. (SECOND PART -- "KILLERS AT LARGE~)
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: A~N~O G~VA~OH ) ) ( ( C
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-8- HOWARD CLANEY: (CONTINUES) Here may we remind you that on Thursday night Jack Pearl wl]l again take up th~ dlso~sslon of his adventure as the Baron ~unchausen|- On that niTht A1 Goodman will provld~ the dance music ...... But thatts Thursday nlght....tonlght Don Bestor 18 the maestro. ..... letls see what he has now~ in the way of ~lody. DON BESTOR: These are the tunes werll play now: - (TITLES) ( ) ( ) ( ) ) HOWARD CLANEY : Thank youI Do~%. And so~ ladies ~nd gentlemenI we conclude another LUSEX 8TP/KN Hour. Please remerrber, Jack Pearl and A1 Goodn~%nVs Orchestra will joln us on Thursday~ So until then -~ goodnight~ (MUSICAL SIGNATURE) THIS IS THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY. AGENOY/chilleen 2/21/33
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SPECIAL AGENT FIVE 'KILLERS AT LARGE" PARTS I AND II OFFICIAL STORY BY GEORGE F. ZI~MER WARDEN WHISTLING DAN DENTON JA~E$ BLAIR DEPUTY SHERIFF RICHARDS ACE GEET~ SPECIAL AGENT RANEIN SPECIAL AGENT BLYTHE VOICE I VOICE II NOTE: DRA~A~ZAT~0N BY AND GREGORY WILLIA~SON CAST: APPLEBAU~ (German) SALLY COY COUNTY DETECTIVE HANLEY RGLICE~AN LIEUTENANT VOIGE BHERI;F ALEX MCOP~I~/DN VOICE III This property is duly protected by copyrlgh% and *~y not be u~ed in ~ny ms~uner without %h~ authority of the owner thereof. ~t Is ~uthorIzed for broadcast over E~tlon~l Broadcasting ~o~ny~ In~, f~cilitles, only on the date first indicated herein.
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BPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE XVII "KILLERS AT LARGE" FOR LUC[<Y 8TRIKE HOUR FEBRUARY 21, 19Z3
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VOICE: SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE X~II "KILLERS AT LARGE" PART I (WIRELESS BUZZ) CLEAR THE WIRES ..... CLEAR THE WIRES ....... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ..... ~SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ...... THROUGH COURTESY OF J. EDGAR HOOVER ...... DIRECTOR...,UNITED STATES BUBEAU 0; INVESTIGATION ...... YOU ARE PEREITTED TO RELATE AUTHENTICATED STORY..',KILLERS AT LARGE" ..... BASED ON SAS~S NO. 54-1982 AND 54-1983 ..... FILES OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... DEPART~IENT OF JUSTICE ...... WASHINGTON, D.O ...... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ........ NF~0CEED. .................................. (WIRELESS BUZZ) SPECIAL AGENT FI~: Special Agent Five talking..,.the story of "Killers At Large" ..... real people ..... real clues ..... a real case ..... for obvlous reasons~ fiotltlous names are used througho~t.~....our case begins at a Federal Prison ca~p in a Southern state .................. (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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VOIOE I: WARDEN : VOICE II: VOICE III: WARDEN: VOICE IIl: VOIOE II: WARDEN: WARDEN: VOICE If: VOICE III: WARDEN: VOICE I: WARDEN: VOICE II: -2- (STEAM WHISTLE HOWLING IN 8MORT, FRANTIO BLASTS) (SHOOTING -- ~ BURST8 OF AUTO~ATIO RIFLE FIRE) (BARKING OF DOGS -- OFF) (~/EW RUNNING IN HEAVY BOOTS) An esoap~ T~O prisoners eseapsd! Cot out by the cook-house there~ Fetch those dogs her0~ Come on~ yo~ dogs~ Who was it ~- who got awayI Warden? Sam - Fred - brlnE those oo~ts herc~ (VOICE RDSPORDS) Let the dogs smell mem~ That's what you want, huh? Must b~. Reckon the fugltlves are off in tho bl~ash there~ They wouldnlt daro try the road~ (BARKING OF DOGS COMES IN FULL) All right| ~how these coat~ to the bloodhounds, Whoa there~ gold ~hem leashes! (DOGS MEME) Theylve got the trail Klready, goes =tght through the barbwire! Yes sir| Hold up the barbwire so the dogs can get through~ They sure got a hot trail~ Them oonvlots can't get far, not with these hounds after lem, (CALLING) All riEht, ~o after tom, Fred - Johnny - get your guns and go with lem. Yes, W~rdsn,
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WARDEN: VOICE Ill: WARDEN : VOICE III: WABDEN~ VOICE IIZ: WARDEN~ SOUND INTERLUDE: DENTON: BLAIR: I~NTON ~ (DOGS BEGIN TO FADE OUT) (CALLING AFTER TFJE~) If you have to shoot - shoot to kill~ Warden, the Sheriffrs on the phone. I got him out of bed to tell him about it. Oh. Thanks. Come on in the office, Slim! (DOOR OPENED AND CLOSED) Hello -- Sheriff~ You Net the ne~s? Yep~ ~e know who it was -- just finished checking OVer. Two men escaped -- Whlstling Dan Denton and James Blair. But don't worry~ SherlfE, we~ve already NOt their trail. All right, I~ll call you whsn we got more news of let. Right~ (REPLACES RECEIVER) Sheriff getting out a posse, Warden? Well, thatls up to him. Personally~ I'd say "Donlt bother about a posse,r' NO? No. Nobcdy~s ove~ escaped from this prison caznp -- and nobodyls going ZO. GeE your gun, Sllm~ and we'll go out wl~h the rest of them. i. DOGS BAYING - FADE OUT. S. AUTO EFFECT FADES IN. (FADES IN WHISTLING "FBANKIE & JOHNNIE") Well, that was easy. We were fools to stay there as long as we did. (WHISTLING) (COIAES TO WITH A JEUN) Wha'd you say, Blair?
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BLAIR: DENTON : BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DEN TON : BLAIR~ DEN TON : BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIN: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: -4- We were fools to stay in a prison camp of beaver board and barbed wire when itls so easy to break away and steal & oar, If you ask me. I think welr~ fools right now to be driving along the hlghw~y~ instead of izying low. We really ought to ~have pooket-money~ Danny~ and therels only One way to get it. 8oo~ as we do~ we can run for my home town in Kentucky. They've got some caves there that are good for hiding out. Say, have we parsed the 8tats llne~ yet? Bee~ i~ West Virginia sines dawn. Look around~ Denton -- how do you llke it7 Looks Just llke any other state to me. But keep your eye on the road. DonJt worry. Get OUt the map, and find out what tow~ welze coming to, All zlght....walt $ minute7 now ..... (SOUND - MAp PAPER WATTLES) Here it is....is this where welts ~t~ Yeah. ~qlen the next tovnl must be Point Rle&sant. Thatls where weIll stop and e~t. O.K, ~y stomach thinks my thro&t is cut, Rolnt Pleasant* Nice place - such a lovely name. Ah~ whadda yah talking aboutl (SEE8 DEPUTY) Whols Zh&t in ths road there? You better stop~ Rels waving at ~S~ Yes, hels signalling all right. If we donlt stop, ItIll look wrong, Blair.
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BLAIR: El 0~ARDB : BLAIR: RICHARDS: DENTON: BLAIR: RIOHARDB: BLAIR: RICHARDB: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: SOUND INTERLUDE: -5- Why not stop? Get your gun ready. (SOUND _ BRAKES CAR TO STOP) (FADES IN) Thatts right. I~all up, boys, and let me look you over. Brother, what's that rifle For? llm a deputy sheriff In this Bounty. Let me look at your drlver!s license. I don't remember seeing you boys before. ThaT's easy~ Welve never been here before° What should we do~ deputy? Get out of the car? Row about that license~ I'Ii Eet it -- itls right here - certainly - Rey~ Put down that gunL Why, sure - of course - (REVOLVER SHOTS) (DEPUTY SHERIFF G~0ANS Hang on, Danny -- we're moving! Nerels where we take a run-out powder. (AUTO ENGINE ROARS UP - FADES AS BACKGROUND FOR LINES) Say...dld you kill that guy? What difference does it make? (PROFESSIONALLY SHOBKED) What dlfferense~ The devil you ~y! l. DANNY WHISTleS S, AUTOMOBILE ENGINE SWELLS AND FADES. 3. SOUND OF DRIPPING WATER.
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BI~IR: DEN TON : BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON : BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: -6- Well, Danny -- itls cozy here. I'Ii say that for the place. (IRONIN) My old R~ntucky cave° It ain't healthy~ Blalr. Listen to that ~ter dripplr~ If you know a bett~r c&ve~ go to it. Huh? Let it pass. Care for a little double solitaire? Naw~ I hate cards. Oh oome On+ YOU canlt expect m~ to sit here with nothing tea muse ms but your whistling. Yo~re a fun~y guy~ Blair. I donlt get you. Really? I don't know. The way you shot that deputy back in We~t Virginiao~..~ What was w~ong ~Ith that, Sweetheart~ Well, perhaps, if weld talked to him° .... ~ho wants to talk? And I don't think we should have abandoned the ca~. After what we did to it~ no one will ever recognize that car. ~elre clear in another state and BaNe in thiG commodious llz~le hole In the ground. Eo~ are we ~on~a know what goes on out~ide? ~y llttl~ pal~ Ace G~nt~y will take car~ of it. Weaho Whatls his angle? Forgiv~ m~, Dat I thi~k hc ~dmires ms. Oo~e ~galn° D~y, Ace ~t~y i~ a h~ro-wor~hlpper~ Well~ you1~e looking at hi~ hero° Yoh~ Th~rcts just one thing I don~t like ~bout you, Blai~ ~ th&trs ~v~thlng. YO~IV~ got a lot of Eats to say a thing llke that ~o me.
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DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: GENTKY: BLAIR: GENTRY: BLAIR: GENTRY: DENTON: BLAIR: GENTNX: BLAIR: GENTRY: BLAIR: GENTRY: BLAIR: GENTRY: BLAIR: -7- Say, watch yourself now. Do~tt worry. If I shot you, Now ITll tell ~ -- (STOPS) I think itls my little friend. (CALLS - LOW) Is that you? (GENTRY FADES IN BREATHLESS) Listen, Jim -- Jim~ Wharfs the trouble? The devil playing sh~ckezs on your ooat-t&ils? dlm7 yo~Ive got to get out, g~ick~ %Vhy? Party of tourists coming through our cavern? No -- tbe Fsder~l men are in to~rn~ (BEGINS TO WHISTLE "PRISONERS~ gONGt') Federals~ YesI and theylre watching me too, ~aybc this cave tsnlt as cozy as I thought. Have you talked to them? If they try to get anything out of me, IIll shut up llke a gr&ve~ That's the boy~ Ace, When did the Feder~l dicks show up? This morning -- this is the first chance frye had to Net here, Theyrre in tow]u because thsy know I used to live here - tbatls sure, Look8 like I put the old burg on the map, eh? Rut the first place theyIll look for you is here~ Jim, Here in the caves! All right, Ase~ I can never thank you enough for this, it would be iu the back, Listen. Somebody coming, AOg?
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GENTRY: BLAIR: SOUND INTERLUDE: RICHARDS: RANKIN: RIO}L~RDS : RANKIN : BLYTHE : RANKIN : BLYTHE : RANXIN : RIGHARDg: F~NKIN: RICHARDS: BLYTRE: RIC~RDS: BLYTHE: Gee -- that's all right, Jim. Forget it. gome on, l'~uglo°" Get your hat. YOU and I had better piok up another oar and go bye-bye. I. WHISTLING FADES OUT. 2. WATER DRIPPING EFFECT -- FADBS OUT 5. MOTOR CAR EFFECT STARTS AND FADES AWAY. Wellj betels the car~ gentlemen. Frankly, I don't see how it could possibly be the one. The men that shot you were driviug a blue machine, you say deputy? That's right, Nr. Rankln. Nh~t do you ma~ of the car, Blythe? A r~p~in~ job if ever I saw one. Well, ohip ~he flnlsh a blt and see what you find. Right. When was this m~chine found, deputy? (SOUND - TAPS OF LIGHT HA~ER) Conple days &Tier the 8hootln~ ~r~ R~n~In. F~ct is, I found it myself° That bullet they shot into me Just hit my shoulder ~nd knocked me oVero That18 luoky; fro~ wh~t yon 8~yI thog~ boy~ weTe plenty tough. Ye~, sir, thatrs right -- But I don't think this is thei~ c~r. Thelr~ v~s blu~. Rl~e, eh? Well, ~ke a look. Where IIv~ been working. Well~ ~t do you know about that? Yes~ bu~ how abou~ thos~ licenses~ ~r. glythe? Thst o~r h~d North ~zollna tag~ ~ and the~e say Vir~inlao
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BLYTRD: RAHKIN: BLY T/~ : RANKIN : R/CHARDS : BLYTHE : HIC~4RDS: BLY TRD : RICHARD8: BLYTHE: RANKIN: RICHARDS: -g- Changing to stolen license plates Isnlt much of a trick. Got the engine serial number yet, Rankin? (SLI~HT DISTANCE) Itls been scratched e little, but I make it out. Here, Irve copied it on this bit of paper, Hlyths. Lotto see -- thanks -- hmm. O.K. It checks. Good stuff. What is It, gentlemen? H~ve you got a clue? Deputy, I thi~[ we know who the men that shot you were. Say~ you Bureau of Investig~tio~ fellows work fast. I don't see how you can figure it o~tI just from whatls here. Oh, thersls no great mystery about it. The night before you were shot, there w~s a break from a Federal prison camp in North Oarolin~. The men who escaped were two criminals known as "WhlsZllng Dan" Denton and James glair. How does that tie up? Hear the prison c~mp, same night as the escape, this c~r was stolen, The engine serial number tells us that. So it seems reasonable to suppose that the men who took it were the two escaped convlctsj don't you think so? Well yep, ~isss those wore the ~n all right. But -- excuse me, ~r. Blythe - I still dsnlt see where just findinI the c~r gets us. That donlt show where the men ~re.
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B~T~: RANKIN: BLYTHE : RISHARDS ; SOUND INTERLUDE: APPLEBAU~: MINNIE: APPLEBAUN: ~INNIE: APPLEBAUM: HINNIE: It gives us a lead, Because the highway through here is the ~I~in route to Kentuckyt and there's a town out there where James Blair used to live. We sent agents out several days ago, just on the chance he may have gone to earth nearby. But right now~ lid call that chance almost a certaintyl Don~t you think we ought to wire KenZucky to double up on the search~ now that we've got something deflnite~ Good idea~ Rankin, Hop in ~nd we'll run into town to the telegraph office, Coming along~ deputy? YOU bet I~m coming, Mr. Blyths. I want to help you fsllows all I can. I sure hope you catch them dirty crooks, 1. AUTOHOBILE STARTS AND RUNS OUT OF EARSNOT~ 2. DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES. So. There iss no business yet, Minnie? Sure, dummkopf. Ten gallons while youlre eating breakfast already. Sehr ~/tL Ach~ A vunderful location we got for a filling statisnj Hinnle. dah. All the time we ~ve good luck since we some to America. And you ~Inlt sorry the~? Sorry~ Aeh~ Herlm~n~ In Lelpslg how could we have already our own business and money in the bank? In Amezlca iss much better, jah~ (MOTOR CAR EFFECT BEGINS T0 APPROACH)
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APPLEHAL~ : MINNIE: APPLEBA~: BLAIR: APPLEBAU~: BLAIR: APPLEBAU~: DENTON! BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIRi MINNIE: BLAIR: MINNIE: BLAIR: DENTON: MINNIE: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: APPLEBAUK: -ll- Youlre a s~rt gi~ljMirS%ie ...... (MOTOR CAR EFFECT OOZES IN FULL AND STOPS) Herman-- lookI CUStomers. J&h. I got dem, (FADING) Good mornlng, sir. It's a nice morning~ jab? (FADES IN) YOU donVt saN so. Ten gallons, please. Jah~ right away~ sir. NO hurry, yo~nE fellow. (SLIGHT DISTANCE OFF) No, ns, I fix you right up. (GAS Bl~ ~F-~OT T}H~3NGH ~RE) (WHISTLING SAD TUNE) (LOW, SMOOTH AND IiATTER-0F-FACT VOICE) The manls an imbecile Danny. I wonder if he'll be cheerful when we stick him up? (WHISTLING STOPS) Watch yourself~ Blair, Just be helpful, Danny. Hello -- look at the Frauleln~ It iss Frau....Fr~u Appleb~um. Oh, ~rri~d~ eh? YesI please~ BOW do you look in black, Frau Appleb~m? For Godls sake~ Bgalr~ (A CO~ENT RATER THAN AN INTERJECTION,) (I/NCOMPP~NDING) Vas Iss das? You'll understand later. But I toll y~h, you screwsy guy, we donlt need to -- Quiet -- here he is* (FADING IN) Ten g~llons~ slz, all set. Shall I look at de oil? Therels no need for shooting, Th~tls all I ask of you.
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BLAIR: BLAIR: APPLEBA~: BLAIR: BENTON: BLAIR: APPLEBAL~: BLAIR: MINNIE: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: VOICE; (EVENLY) NO. Look at this. (GASPS) Herman -- it's a gun! Ke~p still you. Danny, take the dough out of that c~sh register. V~t iss - va~ iss Hurry it up~ Danny. (SLIGHT DISYANCE OFF) Don,t rush me. I got to ring it open first. (SOUND - 8TR/}LES CASH REGISTER KEY TO OPEN DRAWER 0hI Danny -- make it register "NO Sale." Itls robber8~ -~ verbreschen. Be~n| You c~n't get ~v~y vith dlss! Gst o~t~ Stop it~ Di6s is Amerloa~ All rlg~ht ~ ~i~ is the Fourth of July~ (VOLLEY OF REVOLVER SHOTS) (RCR~S) Come on, D~nnyp some on - yo~!ve got the money~ Show a little Intersst, will Foul (Sq~BRVED) Yeh but -- but -- you've killed hlm: (FEIGNED SbS~PRISE) NO~ Why -~ so I hav~. Well~ Isn't that ~ plty~ Davy? (~0TOR OAR EFFECT STARTS AND FADES OUT QUICKLY) (WIRELESS BUZZ) WILL KILLERS ...... FIND NE~V VISTIMS......BEFORE FEDERAL AGENTS ..... TRACE THEM DOWN ...... FOLLOW LUCKY STRIEE HOUR ..... THROUGH A~AZING DEV£LOP~ENTS ..... TO BR/ATB+ TAKING SOBGLUSION. (WIRELESS BUZZ) 4
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-13- SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE XVII r'~ILLERS AT LARGE'~ PART IZ VOICE: (WIRELESS BUZZ) CLEAR THE WIHE8 ...... CLEAR THE WIRES°.... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ...... STORY ON "KILLERS AT LARGE" ....... BASED O~ CASES NEE* 54-1982 AND 54-198S ........... FILES OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF IN~STIGATION .... DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE ..... WASHINGTON, N.Z ......... NHECEED WITH CASE ....... AT TELEPHONE EXCHENGE ..... B~LALL TOWN IN WEST VIRGINIA ........................ (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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SALLY: RANKIN: SALLY: RANKIN: SALLY: P~NKIN: SALLY: RANKIN: 414- Number please -- Yes, right away~ matam. Number please -- 70 - yes. Number -- (FADING IH) Can I get a llne right aw~y, Miss? I want to get ~hrough a hurry call to Bardsville. Yes slrI right away. Anybody in partloul~r you want to talk with? The chief of county police. Oh -- you mean~ D~n E~nley? Use that phone there. l~ll put yourlght through ..... Thanks~ ~Iss. Hells. Hello, Hardsville? Put me on 26, will you~ operator? (TO RANg[N) Just a minute. (TO TELEPHONE) Hello? (TO RANKIN) GO ahead~sir. (LIFT8 RECEIVER) Who's this? Chief Hanley? O.K. This is Special Agent Rankln, Chief. Yes. Have you a pencil handy? I've got important information for you. Are you all set? Well, according to the latest word, Whistling Dan Denton and James Blair are headed for your section of the country. Tes~ I thought you'd be interested. Well, herels the dope. Just a few hours ago two men answering thmir description, driving a grey Dodge roadster held up a filling station near here~ killing the proprietor. What? Oh, yes -- fine boys. But his wife got their license number ~- grey Dodge ~oads%er -- Number K--13-707. Yes~ thatls it. Keep your eye peeled, @hlef -- youtre the next good stop alone the highway~ And Danley, -- take oars of yoursd~ The boys would as soon shoot as wink ~t you. So long, (RECEIVER CLICK) Thanks very much, miss.
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SALLY: RANKIN: SALLY: RANKIN: SOUND INTERLUDE: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON : BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: -15- (DEMURELY) ~y nsme's Sally Ooy. Well~ th~nkB fo~ good service, Sally, What are the cha~ges? Gee -- ~re those ~wo ~irderer8 really loose ~round here, ~r, Agent? They're loose all right, And I've a fc~ling therels going to be %rouble before we t&ke them in, So flgurc up tha% toll llke a good girl, Sally. llve got to be stepping ~long. i. ~DTOR CAR RUN8 ALONG ROAD AND FADES OUT. 8° WTND BLOWING. Rhatts the m~ter~ IIm~sio~'I I havenlt Beard a trill out of my li%±le canary ~ll day. I% makes %hls sh~ck o~;~n mQ~ diB~l, Nev~ mind tha~ stuff, Blalr. (QUIETLY, DEADLY) Don't address me in that tone of voice, you b~d~temp~red thug. O.K. Itts time we had this out. I1m golng to tell yo~ somethln~, llm ~ll ~%te~tion, You m~y proceed, Yeh? One mor~ crack and fill -- (KNOCK ON DOOR) Whatts ~hat? Whols hs~g±n~ a~ound outside? That soundsd line a eopls knook to me~ Dento~. Bu~ how could they -- (COOL) Sozebody must have traced ~he Dodge, I told you that oar stuff would -~ ( ~{ORE KNOCXZ~'B)
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BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: HANLEY: BLAIR: HANLEY: BLAIR: HANLEY: BLAIR: HANLEY: BLAIR: HANLEY: BLAIR: DENTON: HANLEY: BLAIR! DENTON: BLAIR: -lg- Donlt argue ~ow -- get your gun ready. Yeah -- youtll shoot us both right into the hot seat with -- (MORE KNOCKING) Come In, That door isn't looked. (DOOR IS QUICKLY OPENED) (FADES IN) Hello, boys. Don't move either of you. And don't try any monkey ~asiness. Yes? Who~re you? My l~mels Hanley, boys, I'm Chief of the county deteotlves around here. Well, we congratulate you, of course. Perhaps that's whet you dropped in for? Now, now, cut it out. That you~ oar outside t%sre? Car? Listen, Chief -- welre just a couple o' poor, jobless fellows who .... (CUTTING IN) Put down that gun, 1~ister. I know how you got that filling station r~n. Now, Chief, be reasonable. How can I put down thl8 ~.un? Put it down or I'll shoot it out of your hand. All right. You get him, Danny~ ~re goes! (SO~D - SHOTS. HANLEY GROANS AND COLLAPSES.) You yellow---yellow---(COUGHS~ ETC. STOPPINg QUICKLY) Well, that's one for you, Danny. Y~ah. He's down all right. I donlt mlnd it, when it's got to be done. Is that what you were ~oing to'have out" with me, Tarzan?
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DENTON ~ BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: DENTON: BLAIR: SOUND INTERLUDE: 1111 say it is~ Listen. Blair, I'm tou~h -- but you -- youJre a so~n of a -- (BP~ZAKXNG IN) NhoIS keeping you here, Danny? YOU said it~ Nobody~ And Fou'ze leavlng~ Right now~ Those Federals have trailed our second oar and I~m blowing. We got to get out of these country places into some city where ~e san lose o~Belves. Stay OUt of cities, boy. Man was m~dc to frolic among the daises and the butterfllesl You wise hunk of boloney! Listen~ Denny, Itm heading for my old Kentucky home. They already looked there once. They'll never think of going hack. Act sweet, and l'll t~ks you with me. You111 take me no place. I'm going to hop a main line freiEht car for 0inolnn~ti, and hide out in the West End somewhere. What do you think of that? Why should I worry? So long, Danny. I hope you donrt burn. i. DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES. S. POLICE SIREN FADES IN AND OUT. RADIO VOICE: All police cars ..... stand by ..... all police cars, .... stand by,~...emergency report,,,.01nclnnat~ r~dio squads seven and eiEht proceed St onoe.,,,,to freiNht yard in West End...,Notsrlous f~gltive,..~nlstllng Dan Denton....reported in hldlng...near spur of B, & O* railroad....Thls prisoner must be taken dead or alive,,,,
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SOUND INTERLUDE: LIEUTENANT: POLIOE~AN~ LIEUTENANT: POLICEMAN: LIEUTENANT: POLISEMAN: LIEUTENANT: POLICEMAN: LIEUTENANT: POLISE~AN: -18- i. POLICE SIP~2~ FADES IN AND OUT. 2. POLROE SARMOTORSWITH BELLS AND SIRENS FADE IN AND OUT. 3. FREIGHT YARD BACKGROUND. ***** Go easy in herej boys. He might be hack cf any ot ~hem freight cars. Reckon he might try to get up that hank, Lieutenant? (PESBIRISTIC) Yeah, probIly. Auything to make it harder. Now get thls whole cut o' freight cars s~Trotmdedo He ls probably Bittlnr i~ one Of lem with a call,on aB big as your h~t. The boNN ~l~ady went ~ro~d b~ck~ Lieutera%nt° Wetrc all ~et to Net him cut -- iT heIs in there° All rlght, all right. YOU got papers to hold this fellow on? You bet l~ve got tem. Good. We s~ donlt w~nt him c~tti~I ~p arottnd h~re° Well, co~e on boys, let's get it over with. (FA~ES) Follow me. (FADING IN) One car at a ti~c, Lieutenant? S~sh~ (TRE ~[IP~FULWHISTLING OF DANNY DENTON IS BEARD° LOUDER AND LOUDER.~ (LOW VOICE) It's him. WhlstllnN I~nnF° (LOW VOICE) There h~ i~, setting in the sun by that bo~ car.
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LIEUTENANT: POLICEMAN: LIEUTENANT: LIEUTENANT: DENTON: LIEUTENANT: POLICE~L~N: DENTON: LIEUTENANT: DENTON: LIEUTENANT: Yeah. Look out, now, these punks wlll do anything. So help m~, if he reaches for a g~n I ainlt going to count up to ten. (0ALLS) Hey. Hey, Eood-lookln'. Yes~ you. Come over here! Look out, boys~ gels trying to get up the banE. (CONFUSION -- SHOUTS IN BACKGROUND) (CALLS) Pull him down offa there, men. Be careful now~ Tbatts right, Pack him over here, (AD LIB: NOLIOEI4AN DRAG DENTON UP TO POINT SHEBE LIEUTENANT IS STANDINg.) Nell. Arenlt you ashamed of yourself, trying to get &w~y like that? (SNARLING) Ah....can't a man tame a w~Ik~ Naw, Not toBAy. This the right fellowp Jerry? Yes slr~ I~ye looked at enough pictures of him to be SUre of that. Llste~, copper, Eou canlt hold me -- YOU got nothing to go on -- see? Don~t you believe it~ Nonton. Iive got a detainer right here that will keep you out of trouble until they get Blair under arrest, Then you can stand trial together. Howrll that be? Ah, for -- Come on -- come on. T win th~ argument~ whatever you say. Get Denton into one of these carsj boys, and letls go,
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SOUND INTERLUDE: RANKIN: ~cORI~/~ON: P~NKIN: BLYTH~ : McORI~ON : P~NKIN: BLYT}~: McCRI~ON: SOUND INTERLUDE: GENTRY: BLAIR: GENTFfI: -20- i. POLICE CARS SPEED UP AND DRIVE AWAY, 2. NIl~q] EFFECT HONLING FAINTLY. That the house up there, Sheriff McCrimmon? That's right, ~[r. Rankin. Ace Gentry[s cabin. Well, Blythe - there's a light in it. S0 f~r, so good~ ~n? But look here, Mr. Blythe and Mr. Rankin -- dust that light dontt prove James Blalrls Inside~ Well: Sheriff, there's no harm in taking a look. The stolen car they used in the gas station killinS Ms traced to this town -- Blair's old home, We find his pal, Ace Gentry~ hanging about with no visible means of support. When we try to question Gentry, he gets sullen and re~ses to answer, And that puts him in line for a second visit, Sheriff, It's reasonable s~spiclon, Yes, I think we might drop in at the cabin Up there on the hill, Nell, all right then, gentlemen. Let's t~ke a look then. The pathls over here. And wetd better go quiet as we com. i. i[Ei{ WALKING OVeN GRAVEL, 2. WIND. Golly, listen to that wind, Jim. (EASY AND COMFORTABLE) She blows, ACe, Sh~ blows. gee -- I wouldntt be s~ttin' there so cool, Jim -- not me, if there ~as a price on my head,
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BLAIR: GENTF~: BLAIR: GENTRY: BLAIR: GENTRY: BLAIR: GENTF~: BLAIR: SEN TRY: BLAIR: GENTRY: BLAIR: MoCRIY/~ON: BLAIR: GENTRY: ~cCRI~ON : -21~ Maybe the prise is too high for the cops to collect. Well, they dldnlt get anything out of me. That's a pal, ~aybe some day I can do somethinS for you, Ace. (LAUGHS) They can look through those caves till the water rots their bones -- I'll lie snug up here. TOSS on another log~ Yeab .... (SOUND - DROPS LOG IN FIRE) The~e. Now tell ms some more about your experiences~ Jim. ~hioh OneS? The time you was in the Klondike. (LYING) Oh, yes -- the Klondike. Well, there was a nugget, Ace, a nugget as big as -- (STOPg. PAUSE) Yeah? (EVENLY) Some one on the porch. Good lord -- what'll we do~ Sit still. But Jim -- listen -- quiet. (HEAVY BLOWS ON DOOR) (OUTSIDE) Open the door! Yourll have to let ;em In~ That doorls no good, Watch it -- her~ they come! (THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN) (HOWL OF WIND) (IN WHISPER) Stand up, Ace! What do you me~ wantl (HOWL OF WIND - DOOR IS SLAI~ED) Whots this fellow with you, Gentry?
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GENTRY: RANKIN: BLYTH~: BLAIR: ~oGRI~/ON: BLAIR: GENTRY: RANKIN: BLAIR: GENTRY: BLAIR: ~cCRIIC4ON: BLAIR: Pdd~KX~: ~cCRIM~ON: GENTRY: BLYT}~: RANKIN: Now Listen, ~his is j~st my Cousin from West Virglni&. That's all he Isl Be quiet, kid. Blair -- if youlve got a gun, put it on this table. And hurry it up -- we're not fooling. You men must be orazyl Look out, N~. Rankln! He has got a gun! All risht, Ace, boy -- stand up and take i~ Hey - Jim -- leZ go of me~ Donlt hold on to me~ He:s using his pal for a shield~ That's It! Hold still, Ace -- if they start shooting-- ~ou'll stop lead. Jim -- let g° of r~ -- I'll be killed| That's it! (SOUND - SHOTS) What do you think of thKt? You murdor~i (SOUND - SHOTS - YELP FRDH GENTRY) It looks like that w~s a good shot -- (CHOKES) (UNINTELLIGIBLY) ...... Sheriff ..... Got Blair all right -- Howls the boy? He ls all right~ Mr. P~nki~. He broke away when I plnk~d him. (AGGRIEVED) He held me in front of him while you were shooting~ Is Blair dead? H~'II neve~ com.,It a~other orlme, Elythe.
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GENTB~/: RANKIN : VOICE: -aS- (O~CO~ZE ~ITH DISILLUSIONMENT) God| And I though~ he was my pal. A fine pal you picked out. You~r~ lucky ¥ou're not dead~ Gentry, Come on, Blythe -- lefts get to a phone and tell tern they can stop looking for Blair. (WIRELESS BUZZ) SURVIVING KILLEK...,WHISTLIBG DAN DENTON....~TRIED FOR ~URDER OF COUNTY DETECTIVE,...CONVICTED....~.. SENTBNCED. o,.~oELECTROCUTED..,.,,BOY ACE GENTRY SENTENCED TO TEF~IN PRISON ..... CASES NOS. Z4-1~82 AND 54-1983..~°°°CLOSEDo...ASBIGNKENT COMPLETED ...... {WIRELESS) ........ T~ LONG AR~OF T~ FEDERAL LAW R~AO}~S EVER~REBE ....... .CRIRE DOES NOT PAY .......... (WIRELESS BUZZ) FARR~WILLIAMBON/chIlleen
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m, THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with f}le world's flne~ Dance Orchestras and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TUESDAY • THURSDAY l " 'T TT f'~ TT"'r'l~" ~ SATURDAY 10 to II P.M. ~ J/ .L, U %...B.. A .~.,, 0 WEAFar~ ASSOCIATED ~ ~ ~e CHARACTER and MILDNESS" THURSDAYI FEBRUARY 16t 1933 (EUSIGAL SIGNATURE) HOWARD CLANEY: Ladies and Kentlemen, the LUCKY STRIKE HOUZ presenZed for your Dleasu~e by the manufacturers of LUCKY STRIKE Cigarettes - sixty mode~ mln~tes with the wo~Idts finest d~nce orch~stras~ and the famous LUCKY STHIKE thr~lls. Tonight we are going to c~ll on Saok Pcarl who~ in the rol~ of the ~ron Munohausen on these Thurs~y night programs, distributes g~iety and mlrth all over the country, First of ~ll~ however~ we have a d/tie wlth Abe Lyni~n and his Orehes%ra~ so l~tls keep it. ~R. LY~AN: |
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-2- ~BE LYMAN: Gaod eveningI l~dies a~d gentlem~n3 this is Abe Lyman. Tonight we play first -- (TITLES~ 7 ) 3 ) ) HOWARD OLANEY: Th~nk you~ Abe Lyms/%, that w~ fi~e, Row oft~n~ when youlre i~ a o~owd~ youIve seen o~e man who stands out from the rest ~ whose clear~ oalm lookj the line of his jaw~ the set of his shoulders -- everything about him reveals an exceptional character. ~har~ot~ ~- itls a quality you can spot anywhere..,..~nd itrs charactez~ too~ that sets one ~±garett~ ~p~r~ from others. Youlll ~cognize it instantly in LUCKY STRIKE r_ the dlstinctive character of LUCKY STRIKE'S fine tobaccos, And how youtll enjoy the unique mellow-mildness thatls given to LUCKIE$ by the exclusive I~TOASTING" Process. Only LUCKIES afford ~hese ~wo dls%inctlve qualities -- Character 8nd ~lldness,,..,~d for those two reasons~ "LUCKIES Ple~e|II (FIRST PART -- "DEEP SEA DIVINGrj)
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-3- HOWARD OLANEY : Now ~ack Pearl and Cliff Hall are leaving the stage, Th~yIll return later in this program to continue their discussion.... And at this polnt1 we turn thlngs over to Abe Ly~n and his boys from the Paradise Restaurant.., .ItTs yo~ t~rn3 Abe. ABE LYe: Now we play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) HOWARD CLANEY : Thatls very nice, Abe Ly~aRe very rdos. How ~any of you people noticed in Four newspapers today that beautiful picture of a happy coupls on the famous Grand Canal of VenlceI Italy? Say -- donTt you wish you were there? What a thrill to ~lide smoothly ov~ the rippling waters of this enchanted spot, guided by singing gondoliers. Remanoe~....the joy of living| How flttlng that the title of th~s joyous picture is '~LUCXIES PleaseZ, In every corner of the world-- both here and overseas -- wherever you find joy in llfe, 'tis always '~LUaK~ES Pleas~" They please the tasteoo..they please %he th~oato Because LUCK~E$ have Characte~ and Mildness - the dlstlnctlvs character of the worldls finest tobaeoos~ carefully seleeted~ aged a~d mellowed, And the unlq~e mildness imparted when these fine tobaccos are "TOASTED°" For these two reasons, 0haracter and ~ild~ess, youIll he~r smokers all over the wo~id say "LUCKIES Pl~ase~" ............................. STATION ~ J~Lj , ' I| ~ ~' ""
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-4- HO WAP~D CLANEY: W~ hav~ time for a dance or two before the B&ron comes out of th~ briny deep,.....So weIll shoot ~he MR~ic Carpet right under the lifted baton of Ab~ Lyman. ~R. LYI4AN : We continue th8 dancing with -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) HOWARD CI~NEY~ Th~nk you Abe.....Now the Baron Munchausen is going to tell ~s more ~bout ~he s~range sights and sounds tha~ he encountered ~uring his marvelous explorations of th~ ooean floor ...... ItI~ indeed a pleasure to give you ...... His Royal ~odcsty ..... the (SECOND PART -- r'DEEP SEA DIVING")
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-5- HOWARD CI~NEY~ That 'iia~ J&o~ Pe&~l entertaining you as the l~ron "~lun~hausen. HeIll visit us ~gaiz at th~ s~me time next week ...... In the mean~ime~ the ~ron ~ontlnues ~o star in IrPardon ~F E~gllsh" playizg at the ~jesti¢ Theatre on Broadway ..... And now berets Abe LF~ who is also playing on Broadway,..,but as a master orafts~n o~ rhythm. ..... ~±ve us some of it ~ow~ Abe ..... ABE LY~L~N: This tlme we play -- (TITLES) ( ) ( ) (. ) ( ) ( ) HOWARD CI~.NEY: In the dictionary of smoking ~here are two words that tell the oo~let~ story of cigarette enjoyment. LUaEIEB PLEASE~ .... T~O words with a double meaning° LUCKIEr, please -- heard wherever ci~rette$ are bought -- and LUCKIE$ PLEAS~ -- heard ~erev~r ~igarette~ ar~ smoked. Whichever w~y yo~ ~a~ i~ -~ LUCKIE~ PLEASE - beo~s~ L~CKIES h~v~ character &nd mildness - the distinctive oh&factor Of the ~orld~s finest tobaccos and the trae mildness of "TOASTING°" It is for these two rea~on~ - Character and ~il~ess - that all the world says - LUCKIE~ PLEA~EI
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enls is Abe Lyamn ~ain, l&@ies a~d gef~!e~e~- - everybody d~.i! e to - (TITLES) ( ) ) ) ) ) HOWARD CLAZEY: Thus another LU@=Y STRIXE Hour draws to a close ..... ~onlt for~ct o]] Tuesday ni~h~ wcT1i hr!n~ you ~ dr~zization cf "Xillers At Lar~'~ - a r~a! c~ from the files of the United StatoE ~r~au of I~ves~i~tion, Dep~t~e~t Of Justice at ~as~i~ton, D.@ ...... Also o< th&t ~ro~r~m~ DO~ ~osz~r &nd hi~ 0~che~Ira ~ill ~!~y tho ;.~.~sic for ~h~ dR~cin~. $o until Tuesday ~hen -- goodni~ht~ (~USI@AL SIG:{%TUF;) THIS I8 T~ NATI0~AL BROADCASTING C01~AIFT. AQZ].CY/lilleel
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"THE L~0DERN BAF~N MUNOHAUSEN" FEA T 0"RI ~ G JACK PEARL EPISODE XXIV PART8 1 AND II I'D E E P SEA D I V I N@" BY WILLIAM K. WELLS FOR LUCKY STRIKE HOUR FEBRUARY 16,1933
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"THE EODE~ BARO~ MUHOHAUSEN~' EPISODE XXIV "D E E P S E A D I V I N G" PART8 I AND II BY WILLIAM K. WELL8 CA8 T____I: B~SON MUNCHAU~EN ........ • ...... o.°. ................. JACK PEARL CHARLEY ..................... ~ ...... • ................ CLIFF HALL NOTE: This property is d~ly protected by copyright and may not he used in any manner without ths authority of the owner thereof. It is authorized for broadcast over National Broadc&stlng Oompany, Inc. facilltfes only on the ~te first indl¢~ted herein.
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : CHARLEY: BANON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: O~L~RLEY : BARON : "THE MODERN BARON EUNOHAUSEN~E EPISODE XXIV "D E E P 8 E A D I V I N G" PART I Will you please tell me, Baron - Just what is the Idea of w~lking ~round dressed up in a de op sea div~r~ outfit? (UNINTELLIGIBLE DIALOGUE) Walt~ You canlt talk with that divers helmct over your hsad -- here: let me take it off* (SOUND - ~ETAL ON ~ETAL) ~h~2e you a~e~ Nazo~. Thanks $harley, (LAUGH) That'~ a big load off my mind, That divinN suit ~st b~ heavy, Baron. You have no idea - but there is ono thing I am thankful for. What is thatp Baron? That it ainlt got two p~ir of pants. NowI tell meI Baron~ why arc you w~aringthls doep sea diving outfit? Beoause I1m ~oing dlvlng. Where~ Over at my friend 8hult~els house. Diving? At Shultzels house? Yes -- he called ~e up and said he was In~ a~d asked me to help him out,
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CHARLEy : BARON: CHAP~LEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: ~RON: CHARLEY ; BARON : CHARLEY : HA~0N : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BA F~3N : CHARLEY: BARON : Pardon me~ Baron, but when 8hultz said he was in deep water he meaut he was in trouble° He s~Id he was 8UNE~ Wh~t seems to be the ~z~ttcr? I don't know - so I put on my diving suit. Why? Because I want to get to the bottom of it. Ouch~ Did I step on your foot~ NOT -- my intelligence. (LAUGH) Such a small thing to talk abou~o Did you ever do any real deep sea diving, Baron? Did IT (LAUGH) One time I was diving in the Pa-stlff-tlcket Ocean. The Pacific. The Piff-tlck-stlck. Paoific~ Pa-sick-s~ifftlok-- The Slipperyzlssis Rive~ The Slipperymissis River? The Misslssloppg, ~he -- Waft ~ minute| Now youlre getting into deep water~ Just where were you diving? In the Pacific Ocean or the Eiesissippi River~ (LAUGH) Pick out one and drown the other. I believe you are trying to tell me you were diving in the Pacific Ocean, Sure - how maey times must I say It? What were you diving for? Sponges.
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CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY BARON: -3- Do you know anything about sponges? Do I know anything about sponges? (LAUGH) Some time you must meet my reLatlves -~ they are th~ biggest spongers -- J~s% a mom¢~tp Baron~ IIm speaking of the species Euspongla. ......... heLle? Th~ elastlcI resilllont porous it~ss of interlacing fibers forming the interrg~l substratum of certain ~rlne anlmals, ..~ ..... HERE WE GO| I~ what part of the ~actflo were yo~ diving~ Baron? Off ~he coast of Are YOU Well -- Are you well? How have you been - how do you fesl -- Is it possible you mean Hawaii? Thatfs it| gowali| H~wal I Fi~s -- how ~re ~ou? Not so good, Th~tT@ fine too, Well sir, the first d~y I got there I oouldni~ dive, Why not? A school of halibut was swl:mntng on top of the water and I GouLd-lit get through them, HaLibut are striotly a bottom fish. S~re, Then how could Shere have been a school on top? (LAUGH) This was ~ high school.
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0HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEy: BARON : 0HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: aHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BA~0N : C~I~RLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: -4- What did you do? I waited till the next day, And then you did your diving? No - I couldnlt -- the waveB w~s too high, The waves were too high7 Yes~ one of them went Up a thousand feet, A thousand feetl Yes si~ -- and it stayed ~hers. I w~s -- ~old on! YOU s&y a wave rose to a thousand feet ~nd stayed there? Sure -- it was a per~nent wave, Do you %hlnk I believe that? (LAUGH) DO you think I care? The next day I dived down zlxty five hundred feet, Now ~±tt Baron, Yo~ oouldnlt have gone down sixty flve hundred feet and you knew I%. BO tell the truth, just how deep did you dave? DO you want the real tr~th~ 8harley? Yes, How deop did you dlve~ Z~xty flve hundred feet. All right - go ahead° And when I got to the bottom I met King Spitoon and he said ~ Whoa! NO -- he dldnlt sald "Whoa" he said -- W~it~ In the flrst place the n~me is not 8~itoen -- Its N~ and i~ the second plaoe you couldnlt have met Neptune b~oause hers mythleal, Th&tls what you sayo Yes,
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BARON: CH~RLEYI BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: PARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: -5- So Z met him, All right - you met him. He asked me to go to a ball game. A ball game| At the bottom of the Ocean? RidiculousL Donrt say that - they got more ball clubs there than we got here, More? Sure -- d±dn:t you ever hear of twenty thousand lea~ues under the sea? Yes~ but tD~trs a story. SO Is mi~e: And I1m going to stick to it. Let it go. Be had two tickets for the clam stand. Pardon me, Baron - not clam stand - grand stand. (LAUGH) That proves it. Proves what? You w~s~It there, Qulte true. So it was a clam stand. Next to me was sitting a sword fish, A sword fish was sitting next to you? Yes - and he was flirtlng with a mi~ow, The sword fish va~s flirting with a mlr4now? Sure - he w~s a gay old blade, I'll bet this Is going to be good. I hopo so, I got into 8n argament wlth him, About what?
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BAP~N : CHARLEY: BAF~N : OHARLEY: BA~ON : CHARLEY .~ BARON: C~ARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLZy : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy : BAROI~ : -6- In the second inning a llt~le shzlm~ made a wh~l__~e of a hit - but the ump£re who was an old sk&te~ made fluke by calling it a ~trike~ The swordfish started ~o crab - sald the umpire was a lobster and yelled "give that ~ pike the hook| What did you thlnk of the decision? I thought It smelt, A pretty kettle of fish. YS -- are you codding me? ITm sorry~ Baro~ oontln~e, Well sirI we w~s packsd in the clam stand llkc sardln~s and i~h~n the swo~dflsh started to flound@r around I yelled r'come off your e~ you~." ~or~ fish, NO - poor fish. With that he made a stab at me with his sword -- What did you do7 I Tan away. You ran away? S~reI ~ dldnlt have ~ gun or a knlfc on m~, YOU were in a precarlous position, ,.......whatTs the ~u~ber7 I ~aid yo~ were meD~cedI tmperill~d~ threatened ~Ith dls~st~o~8 ~o~seq~osB, (LAUGH) After I take care of the swordfish I'll tak~ He c~me after m~ -- The ~word fish pursued you, o., ..... maybe you b~tt~r go home.¸
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CHARI~Y: BAF~N: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy : BARON : O HARLEy : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : 0NARLEy : BARON : OHAP~EY BARON : -7- 1111 make it plainer - he chased you, 8u~e -- he was nearly up to me when I ran into a sunken woof, sbtnksn woof? Now wh~tls that? A shlff. A ship? Wh~t in the world kind Of a ship is a woof7 Its a -~- a -- what do~s a dog do? Ba~k, Thatls what it was -- a B~rk~ I climbed on the bark, ran into Zhe cabin and slammed the door in the swordflshls face, You were safe, NO sir~ Inside the oabln was Kn Octofaoe. An ootofacs? I mean - Octou~, An octopus~ Yes -- hs was glad to see me. How did you know he wss glad to ~ee you? He wanted to take me in his arms - but just by luck I fooled him, HOW? I found a ;~toh in my pocket - stx~/ok It and the light frlgh%esed him ~w~y. That was a lucky strike, Ye .... please~ The Baron makes th~ advsrtlsing of the cigarettgs. ~y ~pologies. My cigarettes, In the meantime the sword fish had sawed his way into the cabin.
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C HARLEy : BARON : O~R~Y: BARON: OHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BA P~ON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : ONARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY : BARON: OK~RLEY: BARON." -8~ Sawed his way into Zhe cabin? Yes - and was he sore~ BO was I~ Bo I pulled out my gun and killed him. Just a mlnute~ A while ago you said you dldnlt have a gun. 8o I killed him with a ~nlfe. YOU also said you dldnlt have a knife. Did I san I didnlt have a pln~ No, you did not! So Y killed hi~ with a pin. DO you m~an to tell me you killed a s~ordfish ~ith a pin? Sure -- and it only goes to show ~- ~hat? That the pin is mightier th~n the 8word. BaronI thatTs SO preposterous th&t I 82~ not goip~g to ~as~e anF time &r~Ing. (LAUGH) ~Fbe ~t's just a~ well. Tell me~ Raron~ how did yo~ ever com~ to t~ko up diving? It was born in m~° Born in you? Yes ~- from the day I w~s born ~ had water on ths brai~° I suppos~ you started diving at an eazly ~e? ~o _r I wait~d until I was two years old. Diving at the age of twoT I don~t bellcvc it. Would you believe four~ NO~ SIX, eight, ten, twelve~
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CHARLEY: BARON: CP~RLEY: BARON : OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON~ CHAR~Y: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : OHARDNY: BAI~0N : CHARLEY: -9- No| What ~ge would you believe7 Well -- about ~ighteen, (LAUGH) Itls the funniest thing -- What is? I was exactly eighteen when I stazted diving ~- suppose you started In diving ~t the bottoz and worked NOU~self to the top~ ~o 81rl I started from the topj and worked mF~if to the bottom~ But b~fore you got to %he botto~j from ~he ~op~ yo~ had to Bta~t at the botto~ didntt you? No~ ~ had to start at the top to Eet to the botto~ of the top| And I was on top when I was at the bottom and -- What are we doing? A ~ig saw puzzlo? Forget it, Regarding thc sponges you told me you wez~ diving for ~- did you get many~ About elghty-flve boat loads. Eighty~flve boat loads of spon~es~ Thatrs all What did you do with them? I sold all but oze -- it's the fineBt spongue you ~ver 8awo A fine sponge. Yes ~- Itls ~ii dried u~ ~ow, bat if you come to my ho~se I'll put it in water. Why put it in ~ater? I want you to sce something sw~ll. (LAUGH) Ketch on? Yes - I catch on. Put wh~t dld you do with th~ rest of the sponges?
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BARON : OHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: OBARLEYI BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : -lO- I sold ghe~ go bakeries. Bakeries? ~h&t do bakerios use 8pon~es for~ Sponge c~e~ I don't believe that, Baron, and Incidently I don't believe you ~ot eighty flve bo&t loads of sponges. Is that so? ~oll it h~ppens I had with me the greatest spon~e~ in the world. The ~reatest sponger in the world! ~ho was th&t, Baron? Its -- (LAUGH) 0ome onj tell me9 who is the greatest sponge in the world. (LAUGH) ~y Cousin Hugo~ Oh, BAron~ Oh, 8barley! (END OF PART I)
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CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY BARON: CHARLEY: BARON ~ 0 ~L~RLEY : BARON: CHARLEY : RABDN : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : -II- '~THE MODERN BARON HUNCHAUSENl' EPISODE XXIV I'D E E P S E A D I V I N G~' PART II Pardon me for being inquisitive, B~ron, but jus~ what is the idea of wearing that sport shoe suspended f~om your neck? Sha~ley~ that sport ehie is my college pin. Your college plu? YeB~ What college? ....... Oxford~ Oh, Baron~ Oh~ Bharley! Tell me~ Baron~ while diving did you ever find a wrsck? (LAUGH) I found a wreck wlthout diving, What wreck was that? If its all the same to you lid rather not talk about her. Who? My wife. Why~ Baron~ Donlt tell m~ you and the Baroness had "~o2ds. Sure - but she used hers all up - she dldnlt giva ze & ~n~ to u~e ~Ins~
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CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy : BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY : BARON : OHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: C HARLEY : BARON: 0 HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BAPDN : CHARLEY: -12- She dldnlt~ No -- I still got lem. 8o you're On thelou~s,rl No - weI~e o2 the 111nB°II Oh ~he "ins°" Bure -- Bhels got it in for me and Ilve Not it In for ~er, HO~ did it ~ll oome ~bout~ B~O~? Nhels jealous, Jealous? Of whom? The mermalds~ O~e d~y las~ week ~ c~mo ~p from the bottom o~ the s~& ~nd wh~t ~o you ~hlnK sh~ faLLnd On my shoulders? Donlt tell me she found ~ halr~ NO ....... a herrlng| A he~ing! Ye~ -- you s~e I went down In the B~ to ~ee ~ sea llo~, You w~n~ do~n~ ~h the ~e~ to e~e a s~ l~on? ~e~J I see° ~re I ..... ple~e~ The B~ron ~ke~ ~he funny ~nswe~o ~o whe~ I w~ ~o~ing ~rom the sea lion I -- Pardon ~e~ Ba~oz~ did yo~ say yo~ w~re coming u~ Nrom ~he s~ lylnr? YO~ oouldntt wait ~ntll you Rot ~o th~ top~ No~ I ....... ~re you looking for trouble? Ag~i~ ~ ~Rologize, proceed, ~O~o
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BARON : CHARLEY~ BARON: C[qARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEy : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : 0HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : When I came up she okososed Me of flirting with the--- Sh~ what? She ..... are we too far apa~t~ What did she doI BaronT I said she ckcoosed me of ~- Just a moment~ Baron -- the word is ~ot okooosed--- Itts ~ocused. ........ could you play that again? Accused~ accused, (LAUGH) That's all I want to know. What? Yo~Jve got a cold in the head, Well slr~ to shrink a long stozy -- she okooosed me of flirting with the mer~ids. She accused you -- a~oused you -- a~cused you, will you stop sneezing in my face. I1m not sneezing| llm trying to give you the proper pronounciation of the word, Please -- dontt le~s have words about words. I know how to pronounce words the same as -- as -- (SNEEZE) Ah~ ah -- ouesl AchuesE NO'~ youlve got the pronounslatlon~ Pronounclatlon my foot! Now I got a cold| On with your sfory~ Baron. Sure, I --- (LAUGH) Whatfs the matter? Wheat story was I telllug? You came up fro~1 the sea ~ith a herring on your shoulder and your wife accused you of flir~ng, Yes -- so %o prove I wasn't I s~id ~'Bis~rk~' ....
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SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE XVI "!IURDE~S AT SEA" PARTS I AND II OFFICIAL STORY BY GEORGE F. ZI}~ER DRA~L%TI ZATION BY FINIS FARR AND GREGORY WILLIAMSON CAST: SPECIAL AGENT RA~[DOLPH SPECIAL ANENT CLEVES COAST GUARD LIEUTENANT GORMAN COAST GUARD BOATSWAIN ~ALONE SAM DALY "SQUEAKER" "SPORT" DUNCAN "TENSTRIKE" CHANDLER CHINAMEN VOICE NOTE: This proper , is duly protected by copyright and may not be u~ed in any manner without the authority of the owner thereof. It is authorized for broadcast over National Broadcasting Company, Inc. facilities only on th~ d~te flrBt indicated herein.
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SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE XVI "I[URDER8 AT SEA" PART I (WIRELESS BUZZ) VOICE: CLEAR THE WIRES ..... CLEAR THE WIRES ..... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ..... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ..... THROUGH COURTESY OF J. EDGAR H00VER ..... DIRECTOR, UNITED STATES SURF~U OF INVESTIGATION ..... YOU ARE PERMITTED TO RELATE AUTHENTICATED STORE "~URDERE" AT SEAM ..... BASED ON CASE NO. 45 - 361 ...... FILES OF ~ITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... DEPA~TiENT OF JUSTICE ............ WAEEINGTON, R.C ....... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE, PROCEED ..... (WIRELESS BUZZ) SPECIAL AGENT FIVE: Soecial Agent Five talking..,.the story of "l~urders at Sea",....real peopls.....real places ..... r~al clues....~a real case....for sbvlo~s reasons, Fictitious names are used throughout .... our case begins in the clty of Mlaml, Florida, in the office of Special A~ent .Randolph .......... (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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RANDOLPH: DALY: RANDOLPH: DALY: RANDOLPH: DALY: RANDOLPH: DALY: RANDOLPH: DALY: RANDOLPH: DALY: CLEVES: DALY: RANDOLPH: DALY: aLEVE8: DALY: I couldnlt talk for publication, Sam, Why not, ~r. Randolph? WellI in ~he first place, we llke to keep the Bureau of Investlgatlon out of print. Then~ toe~ It might be p~e~ture. (IN ANNOYANCE) Ah~ Don't be so conservative. I will tell you in confidence~ Saly, I ~hlnk we've Turned back their boats, eh? I donrt blame you for liking the story. This man was established down there llke a pirate klng~ rulin~ little Treasure Island~ Which island w~s it? Somewhere in the Baham&s~ D~Iy. Yeh. That's a lot of help~ Yes, llke a ~Irate king. And IIll bet more thKn one poor devil had to ~ik the pl~nk, too. A~d yourre asking me not to write a story, ~r, RAndolph! Why, look .... (IN DOOR) Hello, Randolph -- hello there, Sam. Hello, Mr. Cleves. 0ome In, Jack. Daly hero 8~ys he wants to print a story about that 8m~ggllng rin~ in ~he B~hamas° They s~y therels one ~n bac~ of the whols thing. According to o~r information hels a big time racketeer from New York. ~Tens~rlke" Ohandler~ hls name is. "Tenstrikc", eh?
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CLEVZS: DALY: RANDOLPH: DALY: RANDOLPH: DALY: P~NDOLPH: DALY: CLE~S: DALY: Yeah. And thatfs What he thought he had down here. He set up his headquarters on one of the Islands and started OUt in the s~ggling business. What Was he l~/nnlng I~, exactly? Liquor, dope, stolen goods and contr~band~ ~llen stowaways and counterfeit U.S. ~oney. Thatts about all. "An Empire of 0rlme~" exclusive story by Sam Daly~ Poy~ I wish Fetid let r~ go ahead on it. Take it easy~ son. We think wslve smashed him -- hut in this gamej it n~ver pays to say youlre sure of anything. Well then~ what ~kes you think youlve queered Tenetrlkels racketI ~r. Randolph? The Ooast Guard Cutter from Fort Lauderdale is faster than any boat he has ~- and her Captain knows these waters better than any pilot Chandlerts been able to hire. 8o? SO welve relleved Tenstrlkefs men a lot of li~tle things they h~d no business h~ving. For instance -- there was a Crowd of Ghinamen; well~ theylre back in China now. There was about three tone of counterfeit money -- you nev@r saw such a laFout; and there was a shipment of dope we stopped only the other night. It certainly sounds llke you've smashed lem. How about giving me the go-ahead, Mr. Randolph~
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~DOLPH: SOUND INTERLUDE: SQUEAKER: DUNCAN: SQUEAKER: DUNCAN; SQUEAKER: DUNCAN: CQUEAKNH: DLrNCAN: SQUEAKER: DUNCAN : These crime trusts a~tzaot crooks and grafters from all over the world~ We think welve broken this one up, but for all vle know, "TenstrlkeII r0ay be rec~ulltlng new forces right now. So you'd better walt, Sam, ~ntil wolfe sure. 1. WIND AND WASTES. 2. 8TEA~OAT WHISTLES. 3. NAN WH~$TLING '~CASEY JONEC~. (WHISTLING STOPS SUDDENLY) Hey - where you going? Into this ho~se. Where'd you think? Bzother, wh~re you from? This house belongs to "Tenstrike" Chandler. Thatls who Ilm iookln: for. Get out of my road. GO elow~ brother~ You got to fix me first. Take it easy or I'll ram this knife in your kisser. Put up the frog stabber. You're not going to run me out of here. Is that right? Why, Zhis whole island belongs to Tenstrtke. Tonight, you can be laughlnI, gettinI drunk, and runninI after the girls -- but Tenstrikc says the word and in the morning youtre feeding barracudas. Tenstrike wonlt feed me to no fishe% buddy. No? Who are you? I don't tell ~y_q~. I tell the Big Shot.
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OHANDLER: DUNOAN : SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: DUNCAN : OHANDLER: DUNCAN : CHANDLER: DUNCAN CHANDLER: DUNCAN SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: DUNCAN: CHANDLER~ DUNCAN : -5- (8OFT POWERFUL VOIOE~ NEARBY) You're right fellow. Always got to the top if y~u can. Bring hlm up here, Squ~ker. What 18 this? That18 the boss~ you monkey. Go up on the porch. (WALKING UP STEPS) (FADING IN) Sit down, fellow. Squeaker, bring two rum Bwizzles° (FADING), Y~s, bess ~- right a~a~. GO on -~ ~It do?a%1 ~It down. The ~h~ir ~in~t wired. Sit do~n, I told you. You Tenstr~k~ Dld I ask you to c~ll me by ~ny name? All rlght~ Te~strik~. Huh? P~member Big Ang~lo~ ~nd the F~e P~rnts~ b~ok In New York? Big Angclo? You knew h~m? ~orked for him three years. He told me to loo~ you (FADE8 IN) Here'~ the drinks, boss. (GHA88 RATTLE) O.K.,..now get lost. (FADE~ OUT) Ye~h, bos~ -- ~ou tell Wem. How do you llke ~y valay? They call him "Squeaker" on ~ccotu%t Of his volc~. Where I come fro~ you ~et ~uys llke that for te~ cent~ on the doll~r, Is that so, Dunc~u? HUh?
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CHANDLER: D~CAN: C~NDLER: DUNCAN: 0HANDLER: DUNCAN: CHANDLER: DUNCAN: CHANDLER: DUNCAN: CHANDLER: DUNCAN~ CHANDLER: DL~OAN : CHANDLER: DUNCAN : CHA~IDLER: DUNCAN : O~L~NDLER: Db~CAN: -6- Bport Duncan. Am I right? Suro, that's me° ~It how Wait a mlnut~, Pal~ Do ¥ou think IId of let a guy Y didn't know all abo~t get this close to ~ The boys have bee~ watching you slzco yo~ bl~w i~to Havana~ I got your record f~o~ ~ay back. Y~ah? Yeh Sport~ I been looking for a mugg like you. Keep talki~I. just hadda fire my general managerd G~ner~l manager? Th~tts right - Itm organized liko a business° What dld you fire him for? B~oaus~ h~ dldnrt dellver° Ho w~s lettlni that Coast Guard patrol turn him b~ck. So I hadda fire hlm~ And when ~ flre 1~m th~F're through for good.°..get ~t? How ~oh does the job p~y? A hundred grand a year. Or two hundred thousand ~y Your money? Yo~ have ~o paBs It~ I'll take the hundred. Wh~tls th~ job liko? It's tough. I ain't lyln' to you~ And the Ide~ is~ you dozlt do ~o work yourself. You just sit here dri~ki~I ru~ s~Izzles and getti~~ faro Whadd~ you mean, fat? (TOLERANTLY) Look at the pot on yah -- ~ell I guess mo~y and e~y llvln' alway~ soften & g'cyl
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CHANDLER: DUNCAN: CHANDLER: DUNCAN: CHANDLER: DUNCAN: CHANDLER: SOUND INTERLUDE: DUNCAN: SQUE~AEER: Listen, Sport. Because ~ hire the h~nd-labor done, that donlt mean a thing. ~ got i~ organized to give me time for outside intsrests. Like tonight you find me readlnI, gow another nightI it mlyht bc ~rtI or ~sicI see? Euslc? Sure. Inside the ho~se ~here, I got ~h~t I bet yo~ ne~ SK~ before. Ye~h? Wh~t? An elestri~ vlolln play~r~ ALl you got to do ~s drop in a slug, ~nd it plays th~ fiddl~ for you, 'ITurkeg in the Str~w1'j "gelody in Y", and "My Rosary." What am I supposed to doj Tenstrlke? It donlt make no difference to me how you blow your coin. (OOLD) ~aybe not, Sport -- 11m just telling you. YouIll have plezty oI work to keep you busy. You c~n figure ~he jobls already s~rted. First thing I want yo~ to do, get the f~st cabln crulser tu~ed up. Then you'll drop down by Oalcos P~ssaye~ a~Id plek ~p a lo&d of~...next thln~ yo~B1l fun fo~...o~d..... (FADES OUT) lo ~AVES AND WIND. ~. THROBBING OF POWERFUL ENGINES. ~. WIND ON DE~K, HOwTS she he~dlnl~ 8quea~ez~ If it donlt blow no harder ~eIll hit the co~s~ in h~if hour.
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DL~NCAN : SQUEAKER: DUNCAN~ SQUEAKER: CHINANAN : DUNCAN: CHINAIiiN : DUNCAN : CHINAMAN : DUN CAN CHINAI~ : DUN CAN : CHINAT/AN : DUNCAN O H I NA~N : DUNCAN CHINAI~AN: DUN CAN ; Then we dulr~p six Chlnazen~ and bac~ to Bahamas. A hundred grand a ysa~° This racket is a pipe drea~. Surej Sport - if nothln' donlt go wrong. How can it? Beat it back to the engines nowI and tell that bess Chinaman I wanta talk to him. (FADES) Keep your fingers crossed. (FADE8 IN) Excuse me, please. Evlything all right now~ please? Sure. You couldnlt have a nicer day for it. How soon please Chinamen get United States? Half an hour, pal -- and thatls what I wanZ to tell yah abouto You know whaz you're suwoosed to do? Ohina~n Sewed Up in sack - you unload. When get dark~ Chinamen get out of sacks. That's it. Irm gonna put the others ashore at an old shack near Fort Lauderdale. You can hang around till night comes ~d then sneak in and turn ~e~ loose. Get it? That light, Mister Dlunsan° Your five boys all sewsd up in the bag? Yes, Mister Dluncan -- Chinamen all leady. Well, it may be a little stuffy but they san stand it. Ye8~ please. Something else -- if any boats come near us along shore, you keep low. They might spot you and get susplcio~s, YeS~ Mister DlunoanI all light, I do that. Oke. Now scram into the c~bln~ we~r~ gettlnI too close on shots as it is.
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-9- SQUEAKER: (FADES IN EXCITED) Spozt -- Sport. H~y - beat it, you chlnk~ (CHINAMAN FADES AD LID) DUNCAN~ ¥e~h? What's up~ SQUEAEER: Take ~ look over there. DUNOAN: Th&t boat? SQ[ZEAEER: Ye&h...Bhels & co~st guard cutter. DUNCAN~ Betwes~ us ~and the open sea.iia~d she looks f~st. $~UEAKER~ Plenty f~st. Tha~t~ th~ bo~t ~%t out u~ dowu before. Whez ~h8 t~k~s the bone lu her teeth~ God hcl~ you .... D~OA~ ~hels comlnI ou~ w~y, too. SQUEAKER: M~kin' r~ady to ~±l us when they ~±t close ~nough. S~e? Db~C~N: (MAKING UP HIS MIFD) All right, give m~ som~ specdl You o~n't run ~w~y from ~h~t ~overnme~t boat ~ ~hels greased lightninI. I~ bess her~ you ~t -- DO ~s I say~ Full sp~d ah~&d. (FADES~ You'll g~t & pound of lead through the hull, th~tt~ wh~t you111 get~ FOu b~an~picker° 80UND INTERLUDE: ROAR OF E~GINE$ EWELLS UP~ DUNOAN: (OALLS~ All r~ght, ~qu~kez..i.h~lf speed. (ENGINE NO~SE FADE~) DUNCAN~ (CALL~. Fang. He Fang° OHINAZAN~ (SLigHT DISTANOE OFF) Yes, ~ister Dlune~n? DIJ~OA~! Co~e let~ ~w I ~i~nt& show you so~ething.
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CHINAMAN: DUNCAN: OHINA~AN : DOg'CAN: OHINA~AN: D~NCAE: CHINAMAN: DUNCAN: SQUEAKER: DUNCAN: SQUEAKER: DUNCAN: SQUEAKER: DUNCAN: BOUND INTERLUDE; -IO- (FADES IN) What trouble, Mister Dluncan? NO trouble -- Keep on your hands and knees.~.Crawl aroL~d the deck house here. Keep out of sight. Y~s, please? Here are you pals~ all piled up in their burlap bag~, see? TheF be on Bhorc soon, ~Ister Dl~an? Y~ah, that's right. Look over the side ~here. Ye~, ple~se~ What is thatI Mister Dluncan? (D~LIBE,~ATELY) That's a blackjack. (~OUND ~ VIOIOUS THUD. SIGHIN~ GROAN FRO~ CHINAMAN. SCRAPING AS UNCONBClOUS BODY GOES OVER SIDE, AND A 8PLASEo Squeake~ -- Squeaker -- thIB way~ (FADING IN) ~hadda FOU ~an~? Hurry up~ yo~ du~y -- hurry ~P~ Help ~e he~vs ~hese other ~hina~en over the slde~ Heave ~e~ over~ Y~s~ that government boat will be alongside any min~e ~t i~ them b~gs the Chln&men can't ~wim| (OONTEMPTUOUB IRONY) You're telling me, Squoaker - you're telling me. Get busy, there~ I. WATER, WAVE~ AND WIND~ ~. POWERFUL DIESEL ENGYNES OF CUTTER FADE IN.
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GOP/~AN: I~ALONE : C~ P~AN : i(ALONE: GORMAN : [,~LONE : DUNCAN : GO Pd~AN : ~ALONE: GOR~AN : DUNCAN: GO TR/~AN : DUNCAN : NALONE : GOd,AN : 16~ LONE : GO 'PJ~AN : DUNCAN : GOPd4AN : DOq~CAN : -ll- Boatswain! Aye~ sir. Hall the cruiser. Tell him to stand by. A~e, sir. (CALLS IN DEEP VOICE) Nn bo-~rd cabin c~Iser~ On bo-a~d oabln crulser~ Stand byl Half speed ahead. (BELL JINGLEN~ COAST GUARD CUTTNR ~NGINE FADES) Stand by. Werre co~ng alongside there. (OFF) Come ahead. Who's stopping you? Jump on his deck ~- Illl follow Fou~ ~alone. (FADING) Right, sir. (WIND AND "NAVE FAhEN UP BRIEFLY) (SOUND: THUD) (FADING IN) All right, here we are. (FADING IN) Thatts right, boys. Come on board. Anything I san do for you? Anything missing? IIm Lieutenant German of the United States Coast Guard. ~ind if I take a look in your cabin? Naw -- look all you want, Squeaker, show the loo~y around. (FADING IN) Nothing there, Lieutenant...I1ve just been in. No use your looking too. Everythingl@ 0,g., eb7 Right, sir. Well, It seems that w~ Owe this gentlemmn an apology, Aw, thatPs all right ~- I know you haven't seen this boat of mine before. Thanks for your cooperation, all the sa~e. 0ome on, )~alone -- werll go back to the cutters No long, you guys.
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MALONE: SQUEAKER: DUNCAN: SQUEAKER: VOICE: (OFF) So long~ (SHIP'S BELL RINGS) (CUTTER ENGINE UP AND OUT) (FADING IN) We~l, the Coast Guard guy was right. Nothing On this boat now to make a pinch for. You're right. ZVm not going to Let the 9cast Guard catch me with the Goods the first trip out. Now we got it fixed so they donlt suspect us. What do you aim to do now, Sport? GO back to the Bahamas and report to the boss, Go on -- wive her the gun. (EERILY O~INOUS) AN- rite. BUl say, you look happy, Sport. When you tell Tenstriko Fou~ve lost thst load of Chinamen what de you think hcls gonua do....kiss you? (WIRELESS BUZZ) HOW WILL FEDERAL AUTHORITIES...PICK UP TRAIL OF RUTHLESS MURDERz~RS,...AND S!~UGGLERE ..... FOLLOW LUCKY STRIKE HOUR ...... TO SONCLUSIO~ OF ACTION AND SURPRISES. (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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-lZ- SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE X~rI ~r~URDERS AT SEA" _PART II (WIRELESS BUZZ) VOICE: CLEAR THE WIl~78 ..... CLEAR Th~ WIP~LS....SPECIAL AGENT FIbrE ..... 8TOF~Y 5F "MURDERS AT SEA~. •..BASED ON CASE N0. 45 - 551 ..... FILES OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVFSTIGATIOE ..... DEPART~IENT 5F JUSTICE...WASHINGTON~ D.C ....... PROCEED WITH CASE ...... AT HEADQUARTERS CF 81JUGGLER GANG ...... ON ISLAND.., .IN THE BAHEI~A5 ....... (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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CHANDLER: DUi~AN: CHANDLER: DUNCAN : OHANDLER: DUNCAN: CHANDLER: DUNCAN: OHANDLER: DUNCAN: CHANDLER; DUNCAN: CHANDLER: DUNCAN : CHANDLER: DUNCAN: ~l@- Come in, Bpozt. Come in. (OFF) Yeah, here I am. Shut the door. (OFF) Yeah. (DOOR IS CLOSED) Whatls the rowt Tenstrlke? Nothlnd. I just wanted Zo have a little talk with you. It was too b~d about those Chinamen, Ysah, theylre p~shln~ up the coral now~ huh? I can stand that. I was thinkinE of the money. Listen, Te~strlke, you o~n write that off. Now I got it fixed 8o the Coast C-uard thinks our cabin cruiser is on the level~ see? Sport~ you know Ilm beginning to believe you ainlt much of a business man. Riy overhead does on just the 8afl,e~ ~ou know. Whatls half a dozen Ohlr~%me~? That alnrt the right attltude~ Sport. When I started out did I look at things that way? I'll say I did SO what? So now I'm a rloh n~n with people to work for me and a dlne house to live in. Look around. That chair: Cost me four hundred dollars~ and itls worth it| Yeah, well....what~ Tenstrlks. Quit talklnI llke a butter and age i~an. I got business to attend to. Yeah....my business .... Whatls wrongI pal?
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C~L~NDDER: DUNCAN : SPLiNDLER: DL~NCAN: SgANDLER: DUNCAN : CHANDLER: DUNCAN : CHANDDER~ DUNCAN CHANDLER: DUNCAN: CHANDLER: -15- Wrong, pal? Why nothlng~ nothing. Itrs a pleasure to tale to somebodF from New York again, thatrs all. ~y other general manager was a Chicago boy. I tell you what weJll do. Rum sw~zzles end we talk about old timesj huh? Angslo7 Five Pernts? That's the boy~ (gALLING FOR IT) Sure Tenstrlke, I wouldn't mind a little drink. All right, so you do me a favor. What? See my mechanical fiddle player ov~r by the wall? Sure. IIm out of slugs. Put in e nlokel, will yah? Sure, why not. (OFF) Want some ~slc, hey? Yeah. Drop it in. The slot's down there at the side. Here she ~oes. (CLICK AND MOVE/ENT OF CLOCKWOP~. MECHANICALLY PLAYED FIDBLE BEGINS TO GRIND OUT "~KLODY IN F.'~) There Fou are, pal. Keep facin' that way, Sport. Keep faclnI ~hat way. (SEES HE~S OUTmaNEUVERED) yah wanta have my hack to yah, Tenstrlke? Is that it? Th~t~s ItI Sport. Donrt tur~ around. Ya wo~idnI% wanta look at me -- now. (ROAR OF REVOLVER FIRE) (GLASS Sh~ASHFS IN AWD I~CHANICAL FIDDLE-PLAYING STOPS ABRUPTLY. THE ~ACHINE HAS BEE~ BROW~N NY THE BULLETS.) (DOOR OPENED AND CLOSED HASTILY)
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SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER; CHANDLER: SQUEAKER; CHANDLER: SOUND INTERLUDE: RANDOLPH: GOR~AN : RANDOLPH: CLEVE8 : GO PJ~ N : -16- (FADING ~N RAPIDLY) Wharfs the mat%er -- what's the ma~ter~ boBe? I just fired my general ~&ger~ Looks llke barracuda meat. Thatls rlght~ Sque~ker~ And by the way~ order another oI them flddls machlne~ from Chlcago~ will yah? Sure boss. B~t say -- whole going to ta~e thls mug~i~ place? I ~ill. You, Tenstrlke? You heard ~e. Fro~ now on, It11 tak~ oharg~. And I'll ~ink that Ooa~t Guard patrol befor~ I 1~t 'era Stop me. l. WATER, ~AFE AND STE~NBOAT WHISTLES. 2~ OFFICE BAC~P~UND. You s~y youlr~ ~uspicious~ Lieutenant Gor~n. Th~n why d~d you allo~r th~ vessel to leav~ United Stat~s ~ll~ th~e w~ nothi~ &board h~r~ l~Ir. P~dolph~ and the men seemed all right, though they did look tough° It was ~hat w~ found afterward that live oom~ to r~port. Are FOU getting all this, ~l~ves? Absolutely. What was i~ you found, Li~ut~r~nt? Nell~ ~r. ~lev~s, just about s~ndo~n, we ~as~ed th~ Boatswaln ~lone was on look-out duty and h~ suddenly turned and called to me~
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I~ALONE : GOR/~AN : ~ALONE ; SORNAN : ~ALONE : GOR~AN : ~ALONE: GOTP~AN: ¥OlCE: /ALONE: GORMAN: /ALONE: GOREAN: ~ALONE: SOF~N: /ALONE: GOP~B: -17- (ENGINE AND WATER EFFECT) Lieutenant~ Lieutenant Gor1~an~ (CONING UP) Yes? WhaZ is it, Boatswain? Take a look out there~ sir. (STRAINING) Wait a mlnute....yes.,..hmm ...... Something floating, sir .... Youlre right l (CALLS) Give her half speed there! (BELL JANGLES - MOTOR NOISE FADES) Itll get a ooathook ..... Right. Turn off the englnesl AyB, aye, sir! (BELL JANGLES AGaiN) (ENGINE NOISE OUT. NO SOUND EXCEPT WATER AGAINST THE CUTTERIS SIDES.) Here's the boathook, Lieutenant. Stand by. Itrs drifting down on us. (R~GHINS) Irve -- go~ it-- Haul it alongside. Say - It's a ~nl Yeah .... (/AKING EFFORT) Hold my arm whilo I get hold of hi~- thatls it -- pull -- Here he comes. Dzo'~ed. Chinaman. Been dead for just a littl~ whil~, lld say. Bight, sir ~ as suT~ as I'm standing here. Hn~z. ~nm. Where could he have come from? ~aybe that cabin cruiser wasn't as innocent as we thought, Malone. I~m going to take this up with the Bureau of Investigation in Kiami. Letls get back to port right away. (CALLS) FULl speed aheaS~
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SOUND INTERLUDE: GORk~AN: RANDOLPH: COR~AN: CLEVES: GO F~4AN : RANDOLPH: CLEVES: RANDOLPH: CLEVES: SOUND INTERLUDE: -18- i~ BELL JANGLES, IOTOBS ROAR, 2. OFFICE BACKGROI~B. (VOICE FADES IN) ..... And so here I amt ~r. Randolph. ~y opinion i~ the people ou the cruiser had a load of alien Chinese aboard, and threw then into the sea to dro~ when we c~me up to them. If yo~qre righ~j whK~'S thei~ next move Lieuter~nt? They'll flgure they got a~ay with it so that you don't suspect their c~iser~ eh? That's it. They might open up and start operating more boldly. Thatls o~r chancs~ Randolph. Wc ought to go out ~ith Eieutc~nt Gor~u on his next p~trol. ~e ought ta m~ke sure who %hat Dolt belong8 to. I was hopin~ yould suggest coming out with us. NothlnI else for us to do ~- law says we have jurisdiotlon over orlm~8 oom~i~ted on the high seas o~ Board Am~rica~ vessels. (OAY) In Other words~ ~ s~a voyage ~he~d for yo~ ~nd me, Randolph. ~GR~PY AND ~TTER OF FACT) Y~ah. Get your hat. Cap, Randolph -~ yachting ~&p. Welre going on a ship, ~n -- no~ a trolley oar. i~ WATER, WIND AND WA~E$: $TEA~OAT SIRENS. ~° SOUND OF LOADING SHIP AT WRARF.
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OHANDLER: VOICES: SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER: CHINDLER: SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER: CHANSLER~ SOUND INTERLUDE: -iS- Come on, come on -- ~st moving. Set up those a~to~tic rlfle8 on the deck there. (HAOKGROUND RESPSNSE~ Those guns look like the real ~t~ff~ Tenstrlkc° You're t~lllng me, Squeaker? They're the latest mod~l~ air-cooled, If azy Federal meu hang~p wi~ ~B weIll t~rn the hose oz lem~ The other stuffls on board. How many ~a~es? Ten, I didnlt want to load us do~. Th~tls right -- it ~Inlt the lo~d It~ Interested in - I just waut to show those gays they tacit st~ m~L I alnlt gonna hav~ ~ shipments Interrupted. Thatr~ ~h~ w~y to t~lk~ bos~. B~t that Coast Guard boat iB ~ight~ fa~ on the water. Do~t forg~t,.~ What are ~o~, a ~s~ mozk~y ~II of a s~ddez? If I a~k for Fou~ ~dvi~e you~ll know llm cra~y~ ~h~t your yaup. No offense. I was just ~- (BREAKING IN) Le~ it go. Get on this deck and cast off that li~ You and ~ ar~ ~kinr thls x~/n ~io~, $queak~r. (SLIGHT DISTANSE OFF) OoK. Welre clear now. All right. Give h~r ~h~ gas .... (~OAR OF ~NGINES) W~fre comi~1~ Key West...a~ boli~ve ~e welr~ goi~S to ~t through| I. ~OTOR ROAR.. ~. ~OAST G~D SUTTEE ENGINES.
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CLEVES : ~/ALONE : RANDOLPH: GOR~AN : ~[A LONE : RANDOLPH: GOR/~AN: RANDOLPH: GOF~N : RANDOLPH: GOP~AN: MALONE: SLEVES: GORMAN: Right around here you talked to the other boat, is that right, ~alone? ThatJs right, ~r. Cleves. You can tell why they'd head this way -- there's a straight run ahead for thc harbor, and Palmetto Point thero gives lem shelter another half mile in. DO you see, Hr. RAndolph? Yes~ this must be the sTm/gglerst ocean lane, all right. (O0~ES IN) RAndolph -- Cleves! (RANDOLPH AND CLEVES AD LIB QUICK REACTION) The cabin cruiser up ahead thereL Just around the point, and coming this wayl Looks like hels running for the point, sir. Is he within earshot? HeTII know if we hail him~ of course. Then tell him to heave to, Lieutenant. (CALLS) On bo-ard cruiser -~ on board o~/isor! Heave to~ Some alongside. He lS not stopping. All right. Take that rlfle and Rut a few shots across his hows~ ~lone. Aye, ayej sirl (THgZE RIFLE SHOTS) He ls coming around now~ all right. Pulling right over to us~ se@~ (ENGINES OF CHANDLERJS CRUISER F/DAR UP) Say those fellows have ~chlne guns there~ Look out~ Look out~ (BURST OF ht~CBINg GUN FIRE) (FINN SHOUT)
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~L~LONE : GOR~AN : RANDOLPH: GO~4AP : ~LONE : CLEVgS : GOR~ : OLEVES : RANDOLPH: GLEVES : RANDOLPH: CLEVES: ORANDLER: RANDOLPH: CHAgDLER: CLEIrEB: CHANDLER: RANDOLPH: -21- They hit ~a~ 0h lord -- ~%lone~s do~ -- fo~ Go~ sake duckZ Dusk, Mr, RAndolph -- do~IrL% On ~he d®ok~ Howrs the boatswain,..? Irll see. (FADING) Malone, what'~ happened? Hit r~ in the shoulder, sir -- knocked me over -- Oonlt worry boy, weIll get iem. Look o~t ~ nels goin~ to m~ke Fast &lon~sidel Keep Four he~d do~n~ till we see what hers up to. Come on, Clevis. Lieutenant, you stay here and protect this wounded rt~n. Where we going, Randolph? Over the top of the deokhouse. Follow me~ quickly~ (RORA~L~) There thsy ~re -- keep those machine guns covered. (CALLS) You -- you by the ~achlne guns - get away from that. Come over here by the rail. (F~DIEG IN) Just go c~sy, fu~myface. Watch the fellow with the maohlne gun. Donrt take your eyes off him, Cleves~ (IF FULL) Well, wh~t do you punks w~nt? [ want $o ~sk you what do you mean by c~rrylng n~chine ~ns on that cruiser. Who do you think you are -~ the navy? I wouldnrt know who I was. Careful~ Clevss -- Look out! (REVOLVER 8HOTS) (GROAN -- FROM CLEAVES -- AND FALL)
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RANDOLPH: CLEVES: RANDOLPH: OLEVES: CHANDLER: RANDOLPH: OHANDLER: P~DOLPH: GHANDLER: GORKAN: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER: GORHAN: RANDOLPH: CHANDLER: SQUEAKER: GHANDLER: -3a- Good lord, Cleves -- here, Xdll pull you in back the do okho~ se. Thanks, P~ndo iph. How bad is Itj boy7 (BADLY OFF) It*s -- Itm all right -- go on and get those gdys. (GROANS) (FADING IN) All right - that should teach you something, wisenhelmsrs: Get up, Keep your h~ds in the ~ir. Look here.l Youlve killed this mann W~at about it? Keep those hands u~| Do you realize what youlve done? Hels dead-I [ % YOU -- you in the uniform -- movie usher -- All right -- what is it? Stand over here beside 'um. Keep ~ hands up too. Squeaker. Eeah? Come on over on deck here. I want you to hold the gun On these ~lys whil~ I see if they got anybody in the ®~glne room, I geZc~. Right with you, Tenstrlke. Tenet rlke Z Tenstrlks Chandler? Who w~re you ~xpeeting? ~iEhatma Ghand1? (FADING CLO$E) H~rs I ~m, boss. Keep my eye on these two~ oh? Yeh. It11 look below. I'm going to plant some dynamite do~q% there and blow this ship to the devil -- with a free trip to I~vy Jones Locker for all concerned,
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RANDOLPH: CHANDLER: RANDOLPH: OHANDLER: SQUEAKER: RANDOLPH: COPS/AN: SQUEAKER: RANDOLPH: SQUEAKER; RANDOLPH: GOREAN : RANDOLPH: CHANDLER: RANDOLPH: 0HANDLER: RANDOLPH: -23- (CALLING) Donlt sho0%~ boys -- we want him alive+ Itt~ Tens~ri~e Chandler! Huh--m~hat 're yo~-- Come on Gor~[:~ Take a chance~ Qulokl (SOUND OF SCUFFLE AND TWO BLOWS. A SHOT OR TWO) Giw it to lem~ Squeaker.~ Let lem have it.I I canlt.~ I can:t ~im, boss.r (GROAN FRO~ 0HANDLER) All rlght~ Gorman -- hers down -- go for %he othe~ one~ Drop that gun, you: Drop Itl Luvva ~ike -- take it -- take St -- Get down on the deck th~ze beside Chandler. Crimlny~ donlt you g~ys care about guns or nothinl? Howld this haopen7 Never mind the talk. Weld betto~ stay where we are7 Gorman~ and keep Tenstrlke covered. The effects of that sock I landed on his jaw seem to be wearlng off. (0HANDLER ~UTTENS INCOHERENTLY) Did he ~t 01eves, ~r. RAndolph. Yes. In the lung. (CONING TO) Huh. Where--where am I? ~hat~s haopened? No~hlngts h~pened yet~ Chs~ndler. Pl~ntyis goin~ ~o--- Wait,now. Wait! How abou~ a littl~ deal ~ you and me -- I~ll make thin~s right --- I~ll--~- Save your breath. YOU wonlt be making deals from now on~ Tenstrlk~. Ch~ youlre smart, all right. ~m~rt enough to ran th~ biggest smu~gl±ng ring in thc world and to shoo~ down a F~deral ~g~nt in cold blood .... but not qul~e smart s~ou~h ~o~ to ~u~n ~our h~ad when I yelled that the boys wer~ wa1~in~ for Vou with ~/n~--
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-24- C~NDLER: And they werenlt there at all, eh? All right, Xr* Ag~n% you win t!lis t~ick. Nut remember, ! got a s~ell raoket -- 11~ in a sport where I c~n ~- RA~DOLP~: Youlre in a spot wher~ you c~nlt do a tnin~. Welre p~t~Ing you on tri&l for ~rde~ --~rder o~ the high seas. rill l~&ve yo~ to fi%~u~e ~hatI8 goin~ to h~ppen to your swell racket. ~orr~n? GORL~N: Y~s, Mr. Randolph? P~4NDOLPH:Howls the boat~'~ain? Is h~ in sh~p~ to run th~ engin~ OORL~N: Oh, yes, oertalnly, H~ oonnectod ~ith ~ flesh-wound. But ~wrythin~'s s~t. P~NDOLPH: F~ne. W~lll r~.ke f~st to Ch&ndlerls bo~ &nd to~ it in. After ~h~, ±trs full spe~d ahead. We don't want to '~as~e time in getting those h~roes ashore. (WITLESS BUZZ) VOICE: LEADER OF ~UOGLING RIN~...PLACED ON TRIAL FOR ~URDER OF FEDERAL AGENT....CONVICTED....E~ZCUT~D ...... HI8 AOC0!~PL~CE....TRIED ..... ONVICTED....AND SENTENCED TO PENITENTIARY ..... CASE NO. ~ - ~£1....FIL~:$ OF ~I~Z~ STATES EUREAU O~ INVESTIGATI0~...~EPART.~T OF JUSTICE.,. CLOSED....ASSIG~D~NT COMPLETED.,.(W~R~,L~$8) ..... T~ LONG AP~! OF T~ FEDERAL LAW F~AC~8 EVER~3HE.~C ........ CRI!~ DOE~ NCT P~I .................................... FARR/WILLIA~SON/chiII~n
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orches~as and Famoun LUCKY STRIKE ihrills TUESDAY • THURSDAY J " L'r'rr','r.v'r'c,,~ SATURDAY 10 to 11P.M. "~ J~ J/ U ~.~ .t~./. ~.~ ,,.~ WEAF~ASSOCIATED ~ ~ r~ ~e CHARA.C'TER THUt~DAY, FEBRUARY ~3, 193~ ( ~USICAL SIGNATURE) HOWARD CLANEY : Ladios and gentlemen, th~ LUCKY STRIKE Hour presented for your plea~ur~ by the manufacturers of LUOKY STRIKE Cigarettes - sixty moder~lulnutes with the worldTs finest ~rch~stras and the famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills ........... Tonight Jack Psarl brings us ano~hc~ of hi8 almost ~nbcliev&bl~ ~xpe~icnces ~s ~h~ B~ron ~unchausen. But b~fore he takes over the microphone~ we~c going to call On AI Goo~, One Of tho foremost b~nd~st~r~ Of music~l Comedy. H~e ~ I$ ~ow, ~ll ready to swln~ ~ou into his rhythms.
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-2- A~qqOUN CER~ The dancing begins with -- (TITLES) ( ) ( ) ) ) HOWARD CLANEY : Thank you, AI Goodman, that was great, Cbaracter - the character of LUCKIEgI T1ne golg~n-brown tobacco...where does suoh temptlng~ fragrant deliciousness Come from? In the gouthl~nd they know. They know that only the flnestj most fragrant and d~llclous tobaccos are chosen for LUCKY STRIKE. aharacte~ - Itls in every appetlzing shred of LUgKI~Bt perfect blend~ And because th~se oholo~ ~obaccos are "TOASTED" ~ LUCK~gS are ~ade truly mildi Character ~nd ~ildne6s ~ ~tls you folk~ who hav~ discovered these two supreme LUCKY ~TRIEZ qualities, who have given the wo~ld that happy phrase "LUOKIES PLEABE~tl ===== Now here is the Baron Munshausen. He is aborts reveal some of his most amazing experiences as a gold digger....not of the Broadway varlety.....but of the hazdened desert type. 8o ~y we nov; present thKt grizzled prospector, the Baron lu~eha~ss~I (FIRST PART --"THE PR0$PECTOR")
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-3- HOWARD CLANEY: That was Jack Pearl and his friend Cliff Ball4.~.who are kno~ everywh~r~ as the Baron ~unch~usen and Sharley. Th~p~ll he back with us agai~ in a little while. And now welr~ off to A1 Good~n and his Orche~tr~...,.theyIve been walting for us~ so Let's not delay, ANNOUNOER: ( ( ( ( ( HOWARD CIANEY : Mr. Goodm~n, and his talented purveyors of melody! This time we play -- (TITLES) That was very nice indeed, A~ Good~an. The~e is nothing more hauntingly b~utlful than Lov~l¥ Lake Como~ that sparkling gem of Italyls pleasure 2esorts~ There youql find those happy folk who know the joy Of ~at~els beauty spots...~nd in your today's newspapers youtll see ~ust such a couple g~zlng out OVer the moonlit beautF of Lake Come as they enjoy an after-dlnn~r cigarette. Now appropriate tha~ this picture is called "LUOKIES PLEASE~" For in every corner of the worldI both here and oversea~ whe~ever you find Joy in llf~, ~tls al~ays L'LUCKIE8 PLEASE." What a joy it is to find that perfect eomblnatlon that means ~eal ei~retta pl~asu~e....the ~ and mll~ne~s of LUCKY STRIKE~ Oharact~r born of finest tobaccos. And mildness - flnc, smooth, mellow-mildness - that ~omes when the~e fine tobaccos ate "TOASTED." For these two reasons - character and mildness - "bUdgIE8 PL~SE~" ............................. STATION BREAK .........................
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-4- BOWARD OLAN~Y : The Baron will join us In just a moment or two~...but first wetll listen to ~he musical patterns of A1 Goodman, that sk111ful arranger and conducto~ of modern dmnce m~slc. All r1~ht~ Al. ANNOUNCER: We invite evsrybody to dance to -- (TITLES) ) ) ) HOWARD CLANEY : Thank you, A1 Gcod~n. Now you can sit down and listen to the Baron ~unchauseu ..... Hc is going to explain just how he Btruok gold i~ various parts of the country. The Baron has lived the ~ife of a real pro~peotor ..... tra~ping across deserts and over mountalnB with o~ly a frNin~ panj a curlin~ iron~ a pick and a ga~ ~to~ ...~...SoI ladles and g~ntl~menI may we gi~c you now~... his royal modestyl the Baro~ ~unchausen. ( SECOND PART -- "THE PROSPECTORr' )
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HOWARD CLANEY: That laughter and applause marks ths exit of the Baron ~unchausen until this same time n~xt week.,.,,he111 be with us then,.,o.so make a note of it ..... And ~ow letls get back to A1 Qoodman and his orchestr~...,,they~re ready and waiting $o set your feet tappingp so let them play| ANNOUNCER: And we do play. This time -- (TIT~ES) ( ( ( C C HOWARD C~NEY: Thank8 AI~ and thanks to all your ~sIoal troupe. ..... wenll pick you Up a~ain in a few seconds. Much better than I e~nj folks, your ow~ taste tells you that the~els a bl~ difference in oigarettes.....~nd your throat tells you the same thing! ~eu you light a LUCKY your taste says joyfully 'TLUOKIES have cha~acter~" Your throat says grate~lly, "LUCKIES are ~.~ Every LUCKY STRIKE you smoke reveal~ the delicious7 refreshing character of Smooth, flavorful tobaccos., ...... And every LUCKY STRIKE tells you of LU~KIES~ unique mil~e~s - achie~d when th~se choloe tobaccos are "TOASTED" -- purifled by LUCKY STRIKE~S secret process. For these two ~e~sons ~ character and mlldness ~ folks all over the world say "LUCKIKS PLEASEL" (~R. CLANEY CONTINUES OVER)
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-6 .... ~'k:.~. HOWARD CLANEY: (CONTINUES) ThereJs still plenty of time for dancing. A1 G~ochnan Is standing knee-deep in instz%unents, arrangements and vocalists ...... You playj AI, and we'll dance. ANNOUNCER: All rign~ then.....everybody out on the dance floor while we play -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) ) ( HOWARD SLANEY: And that, ladies and gentlemen~ concludes &nother LucgY STRIKE Hour. On Tuesday night we'll bring you a thrilling drau~ization of an aotu~l ca6e from the file8 of ~ne united StateB ~ure&u of Inves~ig&tlon~ Department ~f ~s~Ice at W&shington~ D.O, Also on ~hat program ~ill provide thc musle So~ th~ dancing. 8o until ~ue~day then, goodnightl (IUSICAL SIGNATURE) THIS IS T'-Z NA?IONAL BROADCASTING OOY~PAZT.
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PARTS I A~D IY BY UILLZA~ X. ~TELLS FOR LU~[<Y STRIKE HOUR F~BRUARY 23, 1933
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THE KODE~N BA~O# K~HAU~£}{' 11 EPISODE XXV PROSPECTOR" PARTS I AND II BY WILLIAM E. WELLS CAST: BARON i~/NCHAUSEN .............................. ,....JACK PEARL CHARLEY ........................................... ,CLIFF HALL NOT_~E: This property is duly protected by copyright and ~y not be used In any I~,~ler without the authorl~F of the o~nor thereof, It is authorized for broadcast over National Broadcasting Company, Inc. facilities only on the date first indicated herein.
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CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : C}i~BLEY : 'ITHE ~ODERN BARON ~CK&USEN" EPISODE XXV "T~ PROSPECTOR" PART I ~y dear Baron! Will you please tell me where youlre going with those four shovels? I'm going to a bridge party. What in the world are you t~king four shovels to a bridge party for? I wan$ to bid four spade s~ NOW you're poking fun at me. Please, Bharley -- I never took a poke at you in My life. True, R~ron - you never did. (LAUGH) Hut Zlm living in hopes. Come now~ tell me - d~st what are you going to do with those shovels? IIm goinN aftez gold. I sec ....... you're going prospecting. ............ what spsctlng? Prospecting - excavating -- in anticlpmtion that ultimately you w~ll unearth a profundity of that precious, ~etalllc element. .......... ~E~DE OFFZ Did you ever do any mining before~ Baron? For years. What did you mine?
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BA NON : CHARLEY: BABON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY : BARON: SHA~ILEY : BARON : CHaRLEy,' BARON : OHARLEy : BANON : CHAELBY : BARON: OF~HLEY : BARON : CHAPJJ~Y : BARON: My own business, I mean did you ever mine for metals -- for ores -- gold, silver, copper, iron ores? Sure -- and wooden ores. ~oo~n ores~ Yes sir, I was -- Just a momentI Baron~ Where in the name of common sense did you ever find wooden ores? In row boats! Will you please be serious? Sure -- I got nothing else to do. Did you ever find gold? Did I ever find gold~ Did I -- (LAUGH) Could you lend ms your face? Lend you my face? What for? I want to laugh in it~ Did I ever find gold~ (LAUGH) Well, did you? Millions of tons. Millions of tons of oE~._Id? ........ Are we talking about goulash7 No. SO I fotuud millions of tons of gold, I never heard of such a thing. Well youlre hearing It now! Where did you find all this gold? In Oh, loftyI ohl In Oh~ Lofty70h~ 0~ ~op3 oh -- Oh~ way UP, oh| --
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CHARLEY: BAROH~ CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BA R0 N: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : C~ARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: -3- Is it possible YOU mean Ohio? That's it! Ohiol B~t my dea~ Baron - gold was nsver discovered in Ohio, Bharley~ they dlscove~ed in Ohio what was even better ~ gold. Better than Bold? Ye~ sir -- because if they dldn~t dlscov~r what they dlscovered in Ohioj they ~ouldnlt have dls~overed Amerlc~° What ~s that? Columbus ~ Will you please come down to e~rth? .......... am I in a balloon? NO, but youlre talking as if you ~up in the alr. (LAUGH) At lastl What do you meanj at last? I~ OVer you~ head, Now -~ all joking aside -~ did you ever do any gold mining? 8harley~ I once had the biggest mine in Cannonville. Oannonville? I never heard of it. (LAUGH) Just a boom town -- I had a mine that I called my Gousin Hugo. You called your mlne "~y Oousin Hugo?" Yes. Why? (LAUGH) It dldnlt pay -- also Y had another one. ~nat was the name of that one? "fly Past."
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CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHAR~Y: BARON: 0}IIRLDY : BARON: C FARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: S HAP~EY: BARON : NHAP~EY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : ~4~ "~y Past?. Yes -- but ~ gave that up, Why? Well I .... (LAUGH) I didn't want people digging into my past, I see -- figuratively speaking there are pages in your past youfd rather not talk about? (LAUGH) Pages| Chapters~ But I didn't cazs because there was a lot of other mines to choose from, YOU had your pick. NO -- I had ~y shovel -- So ~ picked OUt a silver mire. A silver mlne~ Yes sir -- snd the first day I duE -- I dlgged out a fox. A foxI out of a silver mine? Sure -- a silve2 fox ~- and also I found silver in the stones. In quartz? ......... hello? Silver As fo~d iz quartz. You know what quartz is~ donlt you? (SAUGH) gure -- two pints. No, no~ Q~artz is a form of silloa in hezagonal crysZals or crystalline [r~sses. ......~..here we go agKin. Why did you plci out a sIZver mine? Because a man in New York asked me to rush some silver to him. Five minutes ~fter I found the silver he got it.
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CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : SHARLEY: BARON: SHAPIEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: SHARLEY: BA~ON: CHARLEY: BARON: GHARLEy: BARON: C HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: C HARLEY : BARON: -S- Hold onj Baron -- do you mean to say you found sllvez in Ohio and five minutes later If ?~s in New York? Sure 4- and the ~- How in the World did the silver get from Ohio to New York so @ulck~ (LANGH) If was quick silver. Also 1 had another mlns -- a gold mine, A gold [nine, Yes and one day I was digging and I came to a cave, A o~ve, Yes and what do you think it was full of? Gold! No -- silence. Full of silence? Yes -- so I brought up the gold -- Hold on -- you said the o~ve was full of silence and then you say you brought up gold, Sure -- itls the same thlnN. Everybody knows that, Knows what? Silence is golden, Bsron~ Ilm losing patience. (LAUGH) SO is my dostor, Frankly, I donlt think you know ~nythinN about mlni~g, I suppose ~ do. Yes sir - ~ ~m a mlner, Do you vote? Why y~s. The~ you are ~ot° Not what? A minor.
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CHARLEY: BA~0N : 0HARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY ~ BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : C HARLEY : BARON : CHARLEY: NAF~N : CHARLEY : BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY : I mean m gold miner| I worked in the best mine in the Ntate of Oregon -- the Evening Star, I worked in the Evening Ntar in Hoboken, A gold mine7 NO, ~ nswspaper. ~hK~ has a newspaper got to do with mlninE? DO you know? NO, SO what are you picking on me for? Let It go - b~t I still say Y donlt think you know anything about gold mining. Is that 8o~ Well I was once mining in a gold mine and I found fish. Fish? -- in a gold mine? Sure. What kind of fish? Gold fish. I was mlnlng there for years and was ready to give up when Just by lush I struck gold.~ YOU made a lucky strike. Ye -- pls&se| The Baron makes the p~blicity, Contlnue~ Baron, In this gold I found pieces of silver cotton. In the gold you rotund pieces of silver ootton~ Sure - I never heard of that, You never heard of silver threads among the gold? Yes - but - Nee -- youl~e st~rtlng to believe me, Well~ sir, out of that mine Y took tons oN gold, You struck a bonanza.
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BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: aHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: -7- ..... ..am I outslds? I said you hit K bonanza. Whols talking about fruit? Please understand. HAron~ a bor~nza is a mother lode. ........ gould I have that again? A bonanza is a ~other lode, the biggest lode ef all* (LAUGH) NO 81zj the biggest load of all was the one my Cousln Hugo had last Saturday night. A load of gold? No, a load of beer. Nonsense, Barons beer is a thgnN of the past. I know. but ItJll saloon be haGk. Oome~ Baron, letls get back to the gold mine. Just how ~oh gold did yo~ dig out? I dug out onelump of gold that weighed zeventy five thousand tone, geventy-flvs thousand tons~ Thatls lot of hooey. (LAUGH) Thetis a lot of gsld. Wh~t did you do with it? I g~ve it tO my Cousin Hu~o. ~hy? Because }9/go has been waiting on m~ fer years. Waiting on you for Nears? Yes and I figured he was worth his wai~ in gold. Ouch~ Two ouches~ Tell ms, Baron, besldee digging fo~ gold did you ever do any panning? Sharley, I am the champion panner of the world. Where did you do most Of your panning?
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BARON : 0HARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BAPDN: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: -8- In my parlor. In your parlor? You can:t pan gold in a parlor. I wasn't panning gold, I was panning my relatives. I mean panning for nuggets. Sure - that I did up in the nozen froth. In ~he where7 ...... Did you go home? I"m sorry, Baron, but I dldnlt get what you said. I said I was in the nozen froth. The frozen North. Sure - the Rosen moth, the ~oezin ClothI - the .... I was up where it was snowing. Th~tls okay with vs. ........Who ~sk you? GO on with your story, Baron. One night I got caught in a gizzard. A gizzard? You mean a blizzard -- you ran into a blizzard. No slr -- it ran into me. Some of the snow flakes weighed sixty Rounds and -- Whoa~ HAron~ Pull up. ........ 1 beg your remark? I said pull US. Whols fishing? You can't tell me the snow flakes weighed sixty pounds. I can't tell you. No. (LAUGH) I did| Just the same its ridiculous, a snow flake couldn't weight that much and you can't make me believe it.
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BARON : CHARLEY; BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY: BARON: aHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEy : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: C~RLEY : BARON: CFARI/Y: BARON : CHARLEY: BAPON : CHARLEY: Was you therej Sharley? No9 I ll,&s not~ 8o the snow flakes weighed zlxty pounds each. All rlght~ they weighed Bixty pounds. The s~all ones| Th~ small ones| Yes -- the big one~ weighed eightF nine pounds. Yo~Tre sure of that? Yes sir -- on~ of them hit me and knocked me down. A B~o~ flake hit you and k~ooked you down? Yes -- and for two nlgh~s I was lying under the snow. You were l~under tho snow! S~re ~ Even the ~now didnrt ~top you. Noj I ...... thatIB not so comlcalo accep~ your apology~ Baron.. Thank you, I -~ whols apologlzi~g? Will you pl~as~ go on with you~ s~o~y? Ye~1 b~t not more wise split~, Bplits? 0raokB. Very well. TO make small of a lazge story I came ~o a place and claimod a stakc~ You staked ~ olalm, • .°..~Tnols telling ~hls, you Or me? You ar~ ]>/t yo~ donlt olalm a $t~ke~ ~ou stak~ a ola~m~ Is that so? Well thls happens to b~ a rostaurant and I clalmed a ~te~ko Oh~ ~h~ dldn~t yo~ saF ~hat in the first place?
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BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : SH&RLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY : BA~0N: GHARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : C~ARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHAPJ3EY : BARON : 0HARLEY : I did sky that in the first place, but all they had was chops, I quit, You can't quit, Why not? The whistle didnlt blow Net. Will yOU please talk sense, Bharley, dontt I always talk sense? yes ---- nonBB~se~ Sure -- what is your favorite flower? Come on Baron, tell ms~ what did you do ~ftsz yo~ h~d your steak7 I ate ~ piece of pie. I mean where did you go? I called up my brother-in-law Moe. I dldnlt know you had ~ brother-ln-law named Moe. Sure -- hels one of the biggest men up in the North. Re~lly? Sure -- did you ever heard of S,K? S.Ko Who? Baron, Baron| }~v~ a heart. NO, thanks I just had a steak, Well sir - I got Moe and ho got a sleigh and dogs ~nd we went on our way. YOU went mushing? ........ could you push that at me again? I said you went [:~shlng. Donlt be zilly -- We had no tim@ for girls, but we had a big night. A big night?
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BARON: CHARLEy: BARON : OF~RLEY: BARON: OHAPLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: Yes, It was zlx months long~ and one day during the nlght the sleigh broke down. One day du~ing the night the sleigh broke down~ Sure and I -- Just a moments [ donlt want to interrupt your story, but I believe you said it was a night ann it was six months long. SO where does the day come in? (LAUGH) I forgot to tell you. Wh~t? All that night I was in a daze. Let it go, What did you do when the sleigh broke down? We got on an icicle, You got on an icicle? 8~re. Will you please tell me what kind of an icicle you both could have gotten on? An icicle built for two. Do you know what an icicle is, Baron? Do I know - do I - (LAUGH) Any child in kindsrgarton knows what an icicle is, What is it? A plsse of water frightened stiff. I wonrt azN~¢ th~ point. You couldn't, Why not? We broke it off, It must have been pretty cold up where you were? Cold - it was a hundred and zlxteen degrees dowa stairs up,
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C HARSEy : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: It coulctnrt be. The thermometer canlt ~o that low. You have no idea how low Arthur can NO. Arthur who? Arthur ~ometer° It was the lowest of the lowest. It was below zero. Who is it? I said it Ms below zero. Zero! YOU kn~ what zero is, donlt you? Sure - the feller who played the fiddle while Rome w~s b~r~ing, NOj no. That was Nero. I'm talking about zero. Zero. Nothing, (L~UGH) YouTre doing a lot of talking about nothing. Tell me, Baron~ just where did all this take place7 Up in -- in - It's the funniest thing I canlt think of the nan, s. But my wife knows it. Your wife knows it? Yes. I wish I could remember it. Why don't you call her up and ask her? That's it. What? Alaska~ Oh, HAron~ Oh, 8harley| (END OF PART I)
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CF~RLEY: BARON : CHAP~LEY: BA~0N: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: 0 HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : r'THZ ~IODEPI' BARON MUNCHAUSEN" EPISODE XXV "TE~ PROSPECTOR" PART IX You saF your grandfather was In the California gold Yes sir -- he was fortyeight of the fort)~nlnerso Fortgelght of the fortynlners? Sure° Will you pleas~ explain that? With pleasure -- you see some of the forfyniners was thlrtg fIversla~d so~e W~s %wentg sixe~st a~d o~e forty niner was a fifty twoc~ -- but my grandfather was a forty eighter going on forty ni~er so that made him a forty eighter of the lorry niners - bu~ he was as good as the twenty twoers and thirty flyers and could go fifty fifty with the forty nlners -- and ~- Wait a minut~i I~ll tak~ you~ ~ord for i~. Ee ~s what you call a cake in face, A cake i~ face? A b~ad in nose -- ~ pastry in eye. Is it posslble you mean a Pioneer? That's it! a~| He crossed the prairie in ~nd ope~ wagon, %~y dldnlt ne travel in a covered l~gon? He couldnrt afford the cover cha~goo
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OHANLNY: BARON: CHARLEY: BAROH : CHARLEY: BARON ; CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CPL%RLEy : BAR01~ : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : GHARLEY: -14- I suppose he traveled through Death Valley? (LAUGH) Hefore It was even sick. How did he make out in Californla~ I donrt know -- I havenlt heard from him lately. Donlt tell me hers still alive. Why not? Because if he was fortyeight years old in eighteen forty nine he would now be one hundred and thirty two years old. (LAUGH) Just a kid. You know, Bharley~ he could tell where there was a gold mine b!/ just reading the top of the ground, Ny reading the top of the ground? Yes sir -- he w~s a mind reader. Now just a moment, Baron -- bei~g & mind reader is one thing - But a mi~e readerI well tHAtls another matter. Thatls it! Thatrs what? ~[ind over In~tter -- Where ever was gold, he found it -- once he found gold in a goose. In a goose? Yes sir -- the goose what layed the golden egg and -- Pleasep Baro~ youlre becoming incoherent, Could I be inqulsltlvet You are talking inooherently -- youlre tal~ing at random. (LAUGH) Donlt be zilly -- Irm talking at you, Also he was the one ~ho discovered gold on dishes. Gold on dishes?
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BARON : C~RLEY : BARON : C~RLEY : BARON : OHARLEy : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON~ CHARLEY: BARON: 0~L&RLEY ; BARON; C}L~RLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: C~RLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: Nureb Now. wl~%t in the world kind of gold is gold on dishes? Plated. And besides that he found the burgs. The burgs? What burgs? The Goldbcrgs. My goodness/ My grandfather| Let's forg~t your grandfather. What do you say? By me that's my tailor. By you tllatls your tailor7 Sure. Now what!s this? By you that's your tailor? Suits meo Baron I'm afraid ~Im falllng to pieces. (LIUGH) PUll yourself to~eth~r. Only one thing more I want to tell you about my grandfather. All right. What is it~ One day he found a mine that tickled him° He found a mine that tickled him? Y~s. What klnd of a mine was that? A feather =~ns, A feather mine| Yes -- he was walking along when he tripped and fell in a hole and landed on zixtoen thousand tons of feathers° He fell in soft. Vc --- ~en have been hung for l~ss. Continue, Baron.
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BARON: CHARLEY: BABON: 0HAP~LEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OKARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: B~tRON : CN~RLEY: BARON: CB.~RLEY: BARON CHARLEY: BARON : C H.~RLEY: BARON: O HARLEy : BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : The £eathez w~s very crooner. Very crooner? Singer, Singer? (LAUGH) I mean -- Downey, That's done iI~ -- the next thing you:ll say is he found this mine In a Fa~dy ..... What do you mean, a RudN? A valley. Sure .... how you san dig 'em Up, Well sir -- Pardon me, B~ronI but do you realize =eTve drifted away from our subject? The Baron always realizes. Did you say realize or real lies? ....... Why donlt you write a joke book? Come on~ Baron~ tell me more now Of your mining experiences, Did I ever told you abo~t the time I was up in the Olowndlke? The Nlondike? Noj you did net. Up there Z was digging in a mine for cloven years. Eleven years? Y@s ell -~ ~i~ybe it w~s twelve. Twelve? Yes -- dozen mat~ero In oleven years you must ~have d~g up a lot of dirt, It ~&S 8oand~lous, What was se~nd~lous7 The dirt I dug up,
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CHARLEY: BARON : OS~RLEY : BARON : 0~ARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY : BARON : C HARLEY : BAF~0N : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEy: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: OHARLEY : BARON : 0HARLEY: BARON : I mean earth -- you must h~ve dug uN a lot of earth, You have no idea how n~oh I d~g up out of that hole~ What did you do l~th Itl I dug another hole. Another hole? Yes - and I put the dirt from the first hole in the second hole. What did you do with the dirt you got out of the second hole? I NUt it in the first hole. Just a second, NO, just the first. I mean -- ~z~ a second! If you Rut the dlrt from the first hole in the second hole and the dirt from the second hole in the first holeI I oanlt see how you got rid of the dirt. You donrt kuow the h~lf of it. The half of what? The whol~ Let it So, What I:d llke to know is after all this digging did you get any gold? If I told you how much you wouldnlt bellovo it, I donlt suppose I would. So I'll toll you -- I took out six hun~red million dollars worth of gold. Six hundred million dollars worth of gold? Yes. There isnrt that much gold in the United States Mint. I dldnlt dig it out of the mint -- I dug it out of the ~ine.
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CHARLEY: BARDN : CHARLEY: BARON: C~LIRIEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : OHARLEY: BARON: 0HARLEY : BARON: CHARLEy: BARON ; C~L~RLEY : BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: Baron, IIve had enough ~ I canlt stand it. Neither could the gold. Neither could the gold whai? Standard. Please talks sense or Irll go to the bug house. (LAUGH) If I talk sense you'll go to the poor house. Come on, get back to your story. Wher~ was IT Down in a mine digging up millions of dollars worth of gold. You don't believe that? No! 8o up I come~ Th~nk goodness for that! And wh~tls more Itm not going to toll you of any more mines I dug. Youlre not~ No sir - I:ll leave no more openings for you. From now on I only speak of the mining I did on top. Very well, proceed. One time I w~s mining for Kalsie. Kalsle? What in the world is Kalsie? Kalsle is what you find in Kalsomineso This mln~ was owned by my Aunt Tilly, Whets Aunt Tilly? My Unelels wife. Well whets your uncle? My Aunt Tillyls husband. Hers ~ Count. A Count.
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BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: CHARLEy : BARON : CHARLEY.• BARON : OHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON : 0HAP~EY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON CHARLEY : BARON : Yes before ~hey w~s married a duke~ a lord and even a king proposed to her. A duke, a lo~d and a king. Yes - but she turned them down and took i~ 2,5,4,5,g~ 7jg,9,10. What do you mean she took i,~,3,4,5,g,7,8,9,I0. She took the count. She took the Count? Yes -- their marriage ~s a knockou$. I'm not Interested in thclr wedding, Either was my Aunt Tilly - until the day the Count got blown to pieces° The Count got blown to pi~oes? Yes -- at the Kalsomine -- you see we had there one rock that was so big we had ~o use d~namite, Dynamite? The Count had a stick of dynamite in his hand and a cigar in his mouth. A stick of dynamite in his hand and a cigar in his mouth? Yes -- he llt the dynamite with the cigar and --(LAUGH) What are you l~ughing at? This is the blow off. What do you mean the blow off? He put the cigar u~der the rook and the stick of dynamite in his ~outh~ Good gracious - he must hay8 been hlo%~u to pieces, He was ~ his arms Was one place - his legs another place - his head some place else and (LAUGH) this w111 knock you a cork screw.
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OHAP~EY: BA~ON : CHARLEY: BARON : CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: CHARLEY: BARON: A corkscrew? A twister. WhatJs that? What my Aunt Tilly said. What did she say? She said -- Come onI tell me~ what did she saF when Bhe found his arms In one place~ his le~s ±u a~other plaos and so forth. She said -- What? That's my husband all over. Oh, Baron! Oh, Sharley~ (END OF PART II) WILLIA~ K. ~ELLN/chilleen ~/~/~
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VOICE: ~-~- (WIRELESS BUZZ~ CR~ fINAL JACK BUCKLEY ..... RETUF~ED YO PE~;ITEBTIARY .... POLICE RECOVER LOOT ..... CROOKED CIVILIAN E~LOYEE SENTENOED ..... TO TER~ IN FEDERAL PRISON .......... - ..... CASE NO. $5 - 9871 ..... FILE~ OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... SEPART}~NT OF J~STICK...CLOSED ..... ASSIGNMENT COMPLETED ....... (WYHELESS) ..... TF~ LO~G ARE OF ThY~ FEDERAL LAW REACRES EVERYWHERE ..... CRIMP DOES NOT PAY .......................................... (WIRELESS BUZZ) FARR/WILLIAMSON/chIIIeen 2/$4/33
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• v4
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THE LUCKY STRIKE HOUR 60 Modem Minutes with the world's finest Dance Orchestras and Famous LUCKY STRIKE thrills TUESDAY • THURSDAY J " TTT~'TII~4~ SATURDAY 10 to 11 P.M. "~ ~ ~t~ U ~.~.~.& £a 0 WEAF,=,aASSOCIATED _ ~ w ba~,e CHARACTER ( ~USICAL SIGNATURE) HOWARD CLANEy: LadLes an~ gentlemen, the LUCKY STRIKE Hour presented for your pleasure by the r~nuf~cture~s of LUCKY BTRIKE 01garettes - ~Ixty modern ~InuteB with the worldte finest d~nc~ crchestr~B and th~ famous LUCKY STREKE thrills. Tonlght ~e invite you to be our ~ests ~n the ~L~gic O&1~et Theatre where weIll ~resant "Cri~Iv~l and ~ife~!T a dra~tlz~cal or an actual c~se f~om the files of th8 United States Bureau of Investigatlon, Dep~tment cf Justice, at ~shington, D.D° BU~ flrst~ ho~ about a dance or ~o w1~h Anso~ ~eek~ and hls Orch~str~ from the Seaglad~ of the Hotel St. ~egls? ~tep out Izto the s~otl~ht~ A~son~ a~d meet ~ few mlllion llste~er~. eR~N.l~m
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-2- ANSON WEEKS: Good evening7 ladies and gentlemen, mF boys and I greet you with -- (TITLES) ) ) ) ) C RDWARD SLANEY: In some men and women you'll recognize it instantly - sharacter - yo~lll see it in all their ~ctlons, by every l~ttle gesture and m~nnerlsm. And in LUCKY STRIKE you'll recognize the fine3 Bterli~ C~r~c~er of eholcej golden tobaccos -- and ~ouBll see the proof of it in LUCKIESI firm ~alte ~sh. Every LUCKY STRIKE gives yo~ cha~acter~ and mildness -- true mellow~mlldness theirs made possible because only LUCKY STRIKE is "TOASTED." Character -~ ~nd mil~!ess. Thatrs why LUCKIES stand out from other cigarettes..,., and thatls ~hy folks everywhere say "LUSKIES PLEAS~" ~ow in th~ V~Bt ~gic S~rpst Theatre the ourtai~ is rl~ing ~ th~ f~r~t ~ ~ th~ ~h~i~ ~mat~ ~d United States Bureau of Investigation. Special Agent Five is reoeivlng instruotions as they flash through the alr from headquarters. (FIRST PART -- T~SRININAL AND WIF~'~)
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HOWARD CLANEY: So far Bl~ckleyls well-lald p1~ns hav~ been carrlod aut smooihly.....he has esoape~ fro~ priBon ~zd released his wlfe ..... but what wlll his nex~ step be? Wet11 learn that, ~nd more, later in toni~htls prog~am......~nd rlgh~ now letls all get Out On the dance floor and swing into the lilting syncopations of Anson Wee~ and his boy~. Go ahead An~ono ANSON WEEKS: This time we play -- (TITLES~ ) ) ) ) ) hOWARD CLANEY: Blue P~oiflo waters....a canter b~side the grim old o~presseB of that lovely 17-mll~ drive at Del ~onte~ California -- what a thrill of joy there is in this place o~ beauty ~nd lavish s~nshlne~* And in you~ ~ewspapers today~ youlll see a b~y oouple making the most of this delightful spot. Th~ photographer caught them a8 they were lighting ~ LUCKY and ~he picture i~ ~alled most ~ppropriat~dly~ tILUCKIES PLEASE.~i And ~o it i~ - in ~ver~ corner of the world, both h~re and ove~sea~ wherever you find joy in llfe, ItIB ~l~gS ITLUCKIE$ PLEASEoI~ In every friendly puff on a LUCKY Fou will taste th~ full, rich goodness of the cholce~t tobaccos - p~ti~ntly ~ged~ carefully blended - a character al~ their ow~° And in every f~lendly puff yo~ enjoy the ~ellow-~lldn~ss of fin~ tobaccos tha~ are ~ITOASTED'I -- pu~Ifled by LUCKY 8TRIKEIS f~mous Rroces~. B~ca~se ~ou~ll enjoy th~±~ mellow-mildneBs...4~nd appreciate their charact~r,...oyOU, too~ will ~ay~ r'LUCKIES PLEASE.rl
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-4- ......................... STATION BREAK ............................. HO~rARD CLANEY : Here we come Ans0n7 SO gather ~hose musical lads mround yo~ and play. Ladies a~d gentlemsnj the y0ttng n~estro from the Hotel 8to Regls....Ans0n Weeks. ANSON WEEKS: We continue ~he d~nolng with -- (TITLES) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) HOWARD SLANEY: As we file back into th~ ~agic Sarpet Theatre for bhe final act of rlCrlmlnal and wlf~" letlB g~nco over our PrONr~ms and review th~ first ac~. Jack B~ckleyI a prisoner in a federal penlte~tiar~ persuaded James D~wson, a civilian employeeI to help him escape. BuckleF s~cceed~d~ and Hewson was forced to fl~e with him ~o ~vold capture, Together they managed to release B~/ckleyts wife7 EdithI from the wom~nls refor~tory where she was servlng sentence. ~ow Buokley has plannsd a hold-up to mak~ ~h~m all rich. As the curtain rises, ~9~olal Agent Five is receiving instructions from headquarters. (8EOOND PART -- IIORIMINAL AND WIFErl)
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-5- HOWARD CLANEY: Tha~ oompl~es ~no~h~r c~se a~d One more &ssignment for the a~ent~ of the Unlted State~ Bureau of Investlgati~n -- Jack Buckl~y was r~turned to ~he Federal Penltenti&ry~ and James Dawson wa~ ~ntenced to a term in prison, Wext week at this sa~e ti~e welll bring yOU another thrilling story Of cr±~ and crlml~alsj a~d th~ forces of l~w and ord~rJ An~ h~re we go back to Anson Week~ who is waiting to brlz~ yo~ &~o~h~r io~d of m~lo~, It~ your turn, Anson~ AN$0N WEEKS: N~w w~ play -- (T~TLES) ) ) ) ) HOWARD CLA~NEY : What fun It is to come to a party l~nere every one seems to be gl~wi~ with the sRi~it of youth~ the joy of living~ ~t makes you feel joyously, vibrantly alive the moment you enter the door| And ~tI~ amon~ such ga~ joyous folk that !!out11 he~ ~ost often th~ happy parade ~ILUCKIES PLEASE.rl LWCKIE8 have character and mildness -- th~ deli~io~s oh~racter of choic~ to~coos.....And th~ ~ildn~ss of I~TOASTING"o Character ~ mildness ~ two v~ry good r~n~ ~hy I~LUCEIES PLEASE.Ir (~R. CLAEEy CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE)
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(~) SPESTAL A]ENT Fi'~ -PISODS XVIII ~'CRII::::~L AND :7-FZ" :~,RIS : AI~D T- 70R LUS}:- ~R::!- -OUR
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-6~ HOWARD ~LA ~_, (CONrII~U£S) nl.ht fro;: Jack Pearl, ~i ro:<'~-i saron from the House of ~£unchaasen. Alss or. ~:,~ to-ram, Abe i ~n and~ ~ famous Orchestra ~'i!l hrin~ ?oni,rh~ .-e ~+n of the hour :s Anson 'Te~-',~ ",±tn his Orchestra fro;~ ~]- Hotel ~. ~ rds. L sr :s'e :,~ ~unes. =<nson~ .~,~: SOi 7SEAS : HOT.4RE CLAI::Y : ~{nd ,% i !2 s _:c 7 nile ~n: h~s LUCKY STR!4E Hsu~ !~: ~! g~ ~ ~19~~ ~Onl~ >2U ~: D~L ~\~sd~v <~ c~ll ~ ~h ~ ( :~UBICAL S _-~i'~ -U~ ) --HIS iS r=~ ::~--:8!:AL BROADCASTI:7~ ~O:_~AaY £ $r![CY/chi!lcen s/ss/ss
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(B) SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE XVIII JACK EUEKLEY EDITH BUCKLEY JA~ES DAWSON WARDEN PRINGLE "HONEST JOHN" HANPHY CONVICT NOTS: rICRIEINAL AND WIFE" PARTS S AND ~ OFFICIAL STORY BY GEORGE F. ZTI~R DRAI4ATIZATISN BY FINIS FARE AND GRE~ORY WILLIA~SON CA S___~T: SPECIAL AGENT ROSS S?ECIAL AGENT LEONARD COLONEL I~ATTHEW8 JUPITER DETECTIVE LUDLAM OLD TRUSTY This property ig duly protected by copyright and may no% be used in ~ny manner without th~ authority of the owner thereof, It is &u%horized for broadcast OVer N~tional Broadcasting Co~any, Inc. facilities only on the d~to first indicated herein.
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SPECIAL AGENT F~VE EPISODE XVI!I "CRIMINAL AND WIFE" PART I (WIRELESS BUZZ) VOICE: CLEAR TRE WIRES ...... CLEAR THE WIRES, ..... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ....... SPECIAL AGFNT FIVE ..... T~0UGH COURTESY OF J° EDGAR HOOVER ....... DS~ECTOR ~ITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... YOU ARE PERMITTED TO RELATE AUT~RTICATED STORY "CRI~IN~L AND WIFE" ...... BASED ON CASE NOo 55 - 9871 ..... PILES OF UNITED STATE~ BUREAU OF I~VESTIGATION ....... ~EPARTI~NT OF JUSTICE ..... WASHI~GTON, D.C ......... SPECIAL AGENT FIVE~ PROCEED ..... (WIRELESS BUZZ) SPECIAL AGENT FI~E: Special A~ent Five talking ..... the story of "Orlmlnal and ~ifelt.......real people,.....real places ...... real clues, ...... a re~l C~se, ...... FOr ~vio~s re~o~s; flotltious r~eB ~ ~s~d throughsut...~..our case begins in a Federal penltenti~ry ....... the scene is the prison llbrary....~.. .......... . ..... ...., ......... . ..... (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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DAWSON: BUOKLEY: DAWSON; BUCKLEY: BUCKI.EY: DAWSON : BUCKLEY: DAWSON: NUCKLEY: DAWSON : BUOKLEY: DAWSON: BUOKLNY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: DAWSON: BUSKDEY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: -3- Oh7 itrs you, Buckley. Sur~ -- ttls me. (SLDEH, LE88 CERTAIN) You -- spend a lot of time here? You ~an in th~ library? Naturally I do. Tha%fs where they assigned me to work, Want me in the machine shop, ~orki~g fo~ you? I dare say you wouldn't find that so pleasant. It do~snTt m~k~ any differ~nc~ to me where they put mc~ You shouldn't take that attitude, Buckley. ~tlll Oh, yes it will. Right -- ou~sldo -- this prison. YOU shouldnTt talk that waF to ~e. Oh~ youlre only ~ civilian fore~an -- not a ~egular keeper. You kuow I don't get a chance to talk very m~ch -- to anybodyt in here. 2uckley3 you s~em an intelllgent man for a crlminal. Yeah -- and you seem falrly sln~rt~ too -- fo~ a sho~ shop forem~n. Wh~t do they paN youI O~ws~n? Why -- thir~y~thr~e hundred a year. And how lon~ did i% take you to ~ork up to that? Tc~ yca~so Ten yea~s~ live Not ~ idea I'ii show yo~ the color of some real dough. B~ckley -- yo~'re insane. I wonJt listen, How would you like to ~ke sixty-eight thousand dollars? Sixty-eight thou .... (OUTS IN) That's all I've got in o~sh -- hidden outside and it's all yours, ~awSOn -- if you ~ant it,
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DAWSON : BUCKLEY : DAWSON: BUCKLEY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: 80~ND INTERLUDE: DAWSON: OLD TRUSTY: CONVICT: DAWSON: -3- Oh, but I - I can't listen to this any longer -- What did ~ou come here for if you dldnlt think I had a proposltlo~? You know where we stand. But you ca~iIt ~e~ a.~lay -- itrs been tried before. Not by a ma~ with brains. What do you thin~ I~m going to do? glke over the wall and run fo~ it? Not m~. This is going to make trouble sure. W~it a min~te~ Ualvson. ~f ~oulre ~ot i~t~r~stcg in slxty~elght gramd~ you can forget the whole thln~. But lim ~oing to ~et out of this ~ail -- s~? ~nt to go t~ll the ward~? N-no. I1ve got a few jobs to do before th~F p~t r~ u~d~rgrou~d. You k~ow whero thoy~ve put my ~Ifo? In the Wo~enr~ Re for~tory. IIm goin~ to 8prln~ h~ if I have to blow up the joint. NO~ how about i~? Ifm offerln~ Fo~ big ~e~ Dawson. (OAPITULATING) Well ..... what do you w~nt m~ to do? Your part ~s slmp1~. Tomorrow night~ after the m~ch~ne shop closes down ...... (FAD~S) I. STEALS-QUITTING WHISTLE. 2. FEET OF CO~VICTS TRANPING OFF FRO~ WORKSHOP~ (AD LIB -- "Quitting Time.~) 3~ ~R BLOW~ ON NAILS AND WOOD. Nail h~r uP ~ood~ boys -- ~ail h~r up good. W~ ~i~Tt supposed to do this. WeI~e s~ppo~e~ to quit worklnI when that "~Istl~ blows. ListenI bo~s -- vo~ ~ui~ when I ~ay ~o~
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OLD TRUSTY: D~#SON: OLD TRUSTY: DAWSON: OLD TRUSTY: DAWSON: OLD TRUSTY: OLD TRUSTY: DAWSON: OLD TRUSTY: D~tSON: OLD TRUSTY: DAWSON: OLD TRUgTY: DAWSON: OLD TRUSTY: -4- I been a srusty round this prison for twenty years .... never heard ot anythin~ like this bcforc. Am I foreman of this shop? Sure. Then take your orders from me and ¥ou~ll have no trouble. Well~ what are the orders? I w~nt you boTs to paok ~hls box over to i~ house. Over to your house -- oh, no~ It1~ inside the walls, ain't it? All rlght~ alo6e your llp. Nope. Therels something wrong. Listen. If yo~Ive been a ~rus~y here so longj you ought to know the ropes. Now ~ can make it mighty easy around this 8hop for you boys -- or I can m~ke it plain hell. Take your pick. Either way~ it leaves the kid here and me OUt on limb, huh? Listen, Ill1 tell you whatls in that bcxo Itls nothing but a dynamo OUt of tho shop hcroo A dynamo? Sure. (FRANKLY) Yes, I'm takln' a llt~le ~rofi~ on the sidc. Why no±? It's only stealthT from the goverD/nent. And if you boys do me the favor of oarrylng ~he box over to my house~ ITll do you a favor Some d~yo Oh -- %he old army game. Thatls it. Now yo~Ire catching on. Well -~ all right. Wc got to do it anyway, kid. Lift up that ~nd of ~he box.
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CONVICT: DAWSON : SOUND INTERLUDE: ROSS : WARDEN : ROSS : LEONARD: WAldEN : ROSS: WARNNN: LEONARD: NARDEN : ROSS: WARDEN : LEONARD: WARDEN : -5- (LIFTING) Say -- how many dynamos you Sot in hero? Never mind -~ get movlnE. (FADING) fill open the door for you, 1. HEAVY SLIDING DOOR ROLLN OPEN AND SHUT° ~. TWO COI~VICTS FEET WALK HEAVILY OFF° S, OFFICE BACKGROUND. Warden Prlngl~? Yes? ~Im Bpoclal Agent Ross of the Unlted Stat~s B~r~au of Invostiga~ion. This is my ~ssociate~ Agent Leonard. HowTre yo~p Warden~ Youlre h~rc to cheok on the eso~peI Of Course1 gentlemen. Glad to se~ yo~. Nit do~r~. Thanks. I s~Npose Rout11 wan~ ~o start your imv~stlga~ion ~t onco? Itrs already completed, W~rden. What! Yes. Wo know how Jack Buckl~y got away. Why~ tha~Is hard to belleve~ H~ h&d a oonf~derate -- th~ clvillan for~an of the machln~ shop, Ji~ Dawson~ But look here~ H~IS a steadyI hones~ fellow, Are yo~ s~r_~e?
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ROSS~ WARDEN: ROSS: WARDEN : LEONARD: WARDE.~ : ROSS : -G- Th~ night Buckley dlsappcared, this fore:~n trade hls head trusty and another convict n~ll up a heavy box and carry it over to his house. Wow there isnlt ~ch doubt that Buckley was in this box -- and that later on the forman s~ggled him out. Tha~Is only conjecture. ~ybs Dawson can sxplaln. Tile two convicts di~llt like the looks of the job, so Dawson insisted that there were a couple of dynamos f~om the shop in the box which he planned to sell on the outside. Well, even if that was true, it isnlt so serious as helping a man escape, I'm afraid it wasnTt truer Warden. You seej werve coumted the dyna~s in the prison ~chlne shop -- and no~e of them a~e missing. Well= the only thing to do is bring Dawson in here and let him face his accusers. I still feel there must be some explanation. (TAKES UP TELEPHONE AWD LIFTS RECEIVER) Put me through to the m~chine shop. Yes. Warden Pringle speaklng....hello? Send the foreman to my office at once. ..... whatls that?.o....,~;hat?....very well. I see. (REPLACES RECEIVER) (SOLEIqNLY) Gentlemen, perhaps youlre zlght. Jemes D~wson hasnlt reported for work, and they havenlt been able to get him at his home either. Szlpped out alreadyI oh? Well, it wonlt be much of a job to find hi~. But as for Buckley -- llm afraid that's going to be a tougher proposition.
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-7 LEONARD:And the worst of it is, Warden -- nobody can tell what Buokley will be up to before we find him and h~ing him back. WARDEN: Wh~t course of aotlon will you t~ke7 ROSS: Notify Bureau of Investlgation Agents all over the country -- ~nd tell them to w~tch for the two ~en~ because probably Buokley and D~wson will stick together fo~ a while3 anyway~ Come on~ Leonard -- lefts ~et out the ~larm. SOUND II~TERLUDE: I. TELEGRAPH KEYS CLICKING° (FADES RUT) DAWSO~i: You m~an - the~ never w~ ~ny slxty-~ight thousand doll&rs, Buokley? BUCKL~Y: No~ of oours~ not. And oven if thore w&s~ what m~kes you think lid giv~ you ~ny? DA~ON: But you promised ..... ~UCELEY: ~y promise h~s nothlng to do with it. Your being fool OnRush to hel~ ~e get out of tha~ ~rlson was Just a br~k for me. To.ire a n~t~ral f~ll ~/y~ D~wson~ ~nd I was smart enough ~o se~ it. DAWSON: (PITEOUS) But you ~ren't ~oing to -- let me down, ar~ you~ BUCKLEY: ~0~ I guoss I c&n find~so for you. DAI~$0~!: But I mean -- even if it ~s only a little bit -- BUCKLEY: If ~h~t ~as only a littl~ hit? DAY, SON: Why -- if you could only give me a llttle somethin~ in c&sh -- eno~h to ~et me We8~ m~ybe~ for ~ n~w start.
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BUCNLEY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: D,LWS0N: BUCKLEy: DAJISON: BUCKLEY~ DAWSON: BWCKLEY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: SOUND INTERLUDE: BUCKLEY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: DAWSON: (LOW VOICE) (LOW VOICE) Swing it! -8- Say~ Irm ozly in this term because the refolnuatory~s here where they Not Edith looked up. Donlt get the idea we're going West? I mean°.,.ITve throvm away my c~reer..,°. Career! Well, it was all I had~ Till you came along~ And now youlre behind the eight-ball, oh? Yourw wet to help me -- yourvc got to help me, BucKley. Iill help you if you help me. ~t from now on youTve got to work in my racket, That honest pan of yours ~y come in handy. Oh Lord, why did I get into this? (UN~0VED) Donlt ask me, But werll cash in if you donlt forget that pious look. H~ventt you Not any heart at all~ Nuekley? Yeah....for my glrl.,..my wife. (BITTER) Locked in that reformatory. Weirs going to get her out Dawson... you and me ~- tonight. i. CLOCK STRIKES - TEN. 9. FAINT WIND. Keep swinging that saw. Somebody will hear ..... (SOFT NOISE OF SAWING BEGINS) Thatls good -- weill cut this l~st hat like cheese, If they spot us on ~his wall with the searshlight~ wet11 both be sho~.
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BUOKLEy : DAWSON: BUOKLEY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: DAWgON: BUCKLEY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: This alnlt a penitentiary~ Dawson -- this i8 refor~toryj for women. There arenlt any~chi~s g~s here, I wouldnVt want to take any chances On that. (rENEW) wait. (SAWING STOPS) A g~rd, (FOOTSTEPS PAS8) (WHISPER) All ~ight? Go ahead. ! (SAWING AGAIN) Itrs lucky for that keeper hc dldurt look this way. GO easy with that gun, please! (SUDDENLY) Thatls enough -- youlvc sawed through the bar -- Look out you fool~ (I~ON CLANK) Now youtve waked up the whole jointL There ceme~ that o~uard again -- if hc spo~s us Irll drill hlm~ (WHISPER) N~ep low| He ls flashint his light! Oh my goodness~ Essh! (FOOTSTEPS OOi~E BACK~ PAUSE, GO AWAY) W~II~ He saved his life~ keepin' that flashlight away from this wlndo~. Now you stand bYl Dawson -- ready ~ith that rop~ ladder. (RAISES VOICE SLIGHTLY) Edith. Edith. What's the matter baby? (FADES IN) Jack~ Quiet. (WIND ENF~ST MOANS)
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EDITH: BUCKLEY: EDITH: BUaKDEV: EDITH: BUCKLEY: DA~SON: BUCKLEY: VOICE: -i0~ (S~OTHERS COUGH) Whatls the ~atter? (SHIVERING) It's -- it's so cold, Jack. Coughing, eh~ kid? They must have be~n tough to you here! Jack, are you sure this is the right thing to do? I-- Cf course, baby. Now ws're set! Now welre together again, Werve got the whole world in our mitts. ~baddy~ say~ Da~son? Huh? (~UGHS) Wel~, hold that ~ope steady anyway ~- ~nd w~Tll ¢ii~ do~rno Then we~ll ~ke for the car and our get~way -- because live NOt a job llned up tha~ will put u8 On easy street fo~ life! Even you~ D&wson. All of us~ (WIRELESS BUZZ) NHAT IS ~ESPERATE SCH.EA~E,....OD ESOAPED CRIMINAL ....... WILL HE BE ABLE TO ~VOID CAPTUREo..,~BY AG~NTZ OF LAW ..... FOLLOW &UCKY STRIKE HOUR ..... FOR T~ILLING ~ONCLUSION ............................................. (WIRELESS BUZZ)
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-ll- SPECIAL AGENT FIVE EPISODE XVIII "CRI~INAL AND WIFE" PART II VOICE: (WIRELESS BUZZ) CLEAR T~ WIRES.o...CLEAB THE WIFESo....SPECIAL AGENT FIVE ..... STORY OF "CRIMINAL AND WZFB" ...... BASED ON CASE NO. 85 - 9871 ........ FILES OF UNITED STATES BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ..... DHPART~NT OF JUSTICE, .... WASHINGTON, D.C. ...... PROCEED WITH CASE ..... AT HESIDENCE 0F COLONEL HUB~RTBS ~/ATTF~3WS..,.LUCERNE, MISSISSIPPI....... ..... , ............... ,.. ........... (WIBELESS BUZZ)
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BUCKLEy: BUCMLDY: ~ATTHEWS : BUUKLEY: ~ATTHEW8 : BUUKLEY: MATTHEWS: BUSKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: MATTh~?IS : BUCKLEY: ~ATT~WS: EDITH: NATTHEW8: JUPITER: ~ATT~]WS : JUPITER: Are you Colonel M~tthews? That is correct~ sir, Colonel HubcrtuB Matthews~ Yeses? By Golly, Colonel -- put let there! IIm Tom Stewart from ~hc Lazy-J Ranch~ Pioncer~ H~braska~ Oh -- Yr. Stewart~ Oh, yes. Well, ~Im dellghtcd to see you. Wonlt you comc in for a spell? lid sure like to~ Colonel. And my daughterls outside in the ear. I remember her, I'll go out and escort her In. No~ no, Colonel. fill call her. (OPENS DOOR) Edith. (CALLS) Edith. (FADING IN) Yo~, dad~ Step up here~ daughtor~ I want you to ~ot Colonel ~tthewsp that your mother has talked of so rs/aho Why~ I donlt bsliev~ I recall meeting this young lady. (CHUCKLES) Thatrs ~ight, Colonel. This is my other d~ughtsr. (COURTLY) Well, w~ll, young lady. You ~re even more ~ttraetive than your sister. (TAINT COUGH) Thank you, Colonel. Wh~t~s the matter hero? Coughing? That *uon~t do~ Juptter~ Jupiter| (OLD FUNNY NHGRO) (FADES IN) Yassah, ~arse 1~atthews. Hurry now, Jupiter. I swear you're the slowest old n~%n ever lived. Yass~hI yassah.
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MATTHEWS: JUPITER: ~ATTHEWS: BUCKLEY: XATT~S: HUCKLEY: ~[ATTHEWS: DAWSON: BUCELEY: DAWSON: BUOKLEY: DAWSON: JUPITER: EDITH: BUOKLEY: -13- Fetch a cordial for this young lady~ And toll the~ therels company for supper. (FADES OUT) Yassah - she put the big pot in The little one dis time. I hope you donlt mind Jupiter -- hels a good old man. I sort of take care of him and he takes o~re of me. Well, no~ Colonel -- donlt go to any trouble on our account. Oh, but you:re got to stay for supper and tell !he how you happen to be in our part of the world. Well~ sir ~- :y daughter here has been ailing a little and we~r~ on an auto trip for her health. ~hen :~ wife told me how nice yould been to her Colonel, I promised myself if I ever passed through your to¢¢n Y1d stop off and thank you. (ROGUISH) Your wifels a mighty attractiw lady, Stewart. (FADES IN) Excuse me, boss - do you ,tlant me for anything right now? My chauffeur, Colonel. (RAISES VOICE) NO -- come back later, Dawson. Yes~ sir. Bu~ stay around so I know ~here you are° Thank you, sir. (CLOSES DOOR) (FADES IN1 Here you arc, Miss. You drink this. Old Jupiter know that fix you. Sh....thank you, .... Go on. Drink it1 my dear.
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I£ATTHL~;$ : JUPITER: BUCKLEY: ~ATT~$: BUOKLEY: EDITH: BDOKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEy: EDITH: A charming young lady, Stewart a charming young lady. ~cus~ r~, Colonel -- but dey askinI fo you in de kitchen. All right, Jupiter~ right away. If you111 forgive Why absolu~elyl I'll be back in just a mlnu~e. ~eanwhil% ~ake yo~r~clv0~ at ~o~e. ~ure thing3 Colonel -- weill do ~ha~, (~TTF~WS AND JU?ITZR AD LIB FAnE OUT ~XIT) (CHANGE OF TORTE) Now~ Edith ~ ~ctve got to work f~st~ Are you surc hers fallen for It, Jack? Listen~ thi~ is a pipe drea~. I tell you~ ~ith ~y own ~ars I heard him give the i~vitation. But he didn't invite us. No~ ~ soon ~s I heard hi~ a~k that dame ~nd her d~ugh~er On ~h~ ~r~In for their ~os I k~ew I was llstening to a~el voices. But he ~y havc seen you in the train ~n~ bo ~spiolous° ~aybe heI~ gone for the pol~ce~ no~, He doosnlt suspect anything ~ hcls just gonc out to s~ that they fix us a ~e~s of ~outhern frlcd chicken, This ~erve~ hlm right for speaklng to strange da~e~ on railroad t~ains. Howr~ he to know ~e ainlt relatod to the people he a~ked down hero? Oh, Jack, I still don't se~ the sense ~o ~ -- (COUGHS FAINTLY)
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BUDELEY : EDITH: BUOKLEY: EDITH: BUOKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: M.~T TH~IS : BUCKLEY : -iS- Here -- cut out that coughing. That dontt sound like a ranohuanrs daughter~ lill tell you the sense of Doming h~re. Right over in that littSe old-fashion~d wall safe is a collection of jewelry thatrs worth seventy-five thousand buoksL Oh.,..so ~elre.... You didnlt thi~tk we came for the Southern fry, did you? ?~atch the door for mo now while I pry open this old antique. Then we'll grab the stuff and scram. How san you be sure that's where hc keeps the jewelry, Jack? Listen, baby, IIm nothing if not thorough, Last nite while you was sleeping I came do~m here fox a look. That wall-safe is the only place in the house where yould put a piece if jewelry worth more than flvo bucks. So 111l -- just put these clamps on the door -- and set thiB lever - Good lord, Jack| Itls a can-oponerj babyI youlv~ seen lem b~forc -- Oh, look out -- somebodyls coI~ng~ I canlt help thato This safe comes open now~ Hold tight~ (MAKES EFFORT) (SOUND - SO ~REAK OF LKETAL AS "BAN-OPENER" DRAWS OUT BOLTS OF DOOR - IRON THUD - AS DOOR FALLS) Now -- lqt your eyes get a load of whaZ we came for, babyL (FADING IN) Stewart -- wh~tls going on here ~~ whatls the meaning of -- ¢1o~o your trapl yokel.
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~/ATTHEWS~ BUCKLEY: DAWSON: BUCKLEY: DAWDDN: I~ATTHKWE: BUCKLEY: KATTHEWS~ BUCKLEY: JUPITER: BUCKLEY: JUPITER: BUCKLEY: BUCKLEY: SOGND INTERLUDE: BUCKLEF: EDITH: -15- Er. 8te~art~ youTre a robber~ sir? What headwork| (CALLS) Dawson! (AFFF~ACHITG) Yes, sir~ Get the car read4" for a fast ~n curia here. (FADES OUT) All right, I'll start the engine. Put that jewel-case down, sir. Do you want to get hurt~ old iran? You scoundrell (DHOVIEG HIH ASIDE) Get out of my wayl (FADING IN) H~ah~ i~an -- don~t you hurt de Oolonell (AUTO ENGINE EFFECT OFF) Oh, the~els two of you, huh? Youlre not goin~ to ~u~ on me, you =urdercrsl (HE CALLOUSLY KNOCKS THF OLD MAN DOWN) Lock what yor doinI, white ~rash~ Maybe they donlt have blackjacks do~n here. Howld !:ou llke to ~met up with one? (SOUND OF BLOW - JUPITER COLLAPSES) {EDITH CRIED OUT) Come on, Edith, baby. None of that. Out to the ear quick. Dawson, get ready to step on nor. Letls gel I. AUTO EFFECT UP AND OUT. 2. TRAIN EFFECT - FADED OUT. 3. FEET AHE ~ARD RUNNING UPSTAIRS. DOOR IS FLUNG OPEN, Quick, Edith, we ~ot to beat it -- wc got to get out of Now Orleans! Whatls happened~ Jack?
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BUOKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: EDITH: BUOKLEY: EDITH: BUOKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: EDITH: -I?- (BP~ATHIY$ HARD) Let mR see if anybody's followed me. (PAUSE) No, I guess I shook them off. T~is to,mr8 too hot. But wh~tls the matter -- ~herels Dawson? (SNARLS) Hah,..it'~ all his fault~ You know my scheme to raise the cash ~o get u8 North where w~ can hock the jewelry? You mean about the check? Thatls it. We w~nt ~round to Dawson's lodge hall ~- Y&wso~ he w~s a llfe memb~r~ ~oo -- and I had tho phon~y check all fixed up to pass. What happened? They were o~ the look~out for hi~ -- it ~esms the Federals knew he belonged to the lodge ~- and probably tlpped off all the branches. YeTore I go~ wise, the place wa~ f~ll of cops~ Jack - wh~t did you do? How did Fou get away? I gays I~w~on a ~hove and yelled TiPtop thls~II a~ lo~d as I ~auld~ and then ran like ~he dovill ~ut did they ~r~st D~wson~ Yeahj ~ ~uess thoyrrs sw~atinI him now. Harry up~ B~by -~ w~rve got to lam~ ~here to? North. One of the big towns. But iE theyCve picked up Dawson, they can id~ntlfT you~ Pot when I t~ke a~o~h~r na~, ~aby. CCO~HS) Hey~ Cut that outl Just ohanEi~g -- your ~e -- ~onrt help --
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BUCKLEY: EDITH: BUCKLEY: SOb~ID INTZRLUDR : HONEST JO~2~: LUDLA14: HONZST JOPn~: LUDLA]~: HONEST JOUN: LUDLA~: HONEST JOHN: LUDLA~ HONEST Y0~]: LUDLAI~: HON~3T J0~N: LUDLAM: HONEST JOHN: LUDLA~: 18- This is diffcrsnt -- this isnRt any bum alias, I did some quick thlnklny in that lodg~ hall~ kid. I got a~ angleo But how -~ You'll Bee. live ~ot credentials no~. ~o get movlng, Edlth~ will you? That Crescent Llmlted leaves in hall a~ ho~r. ~ go~ to be on bo~rdb 1. TRAIN EFFECT. 2. DOOR BUZZER. 3. SPY HOLE OPENED. Well, ~h~dda you ~v&nt bore? A~e you 1~Honest Johnrr Han~hy? Then opon ~p. Como o~ IIma Philad~lphla pol~c~ offIc~ro 0h. Just a minut~ (UNBARS AND OPENS DOOR) Come In. What'~ the Idea of operatlny a Joint li~e this? Wolro qui~t a~r r~p~t~blo hcr~. T~ah ~ the I'qui~te~tlr ~ most ~rosp~tabl~" spe&k~sy in Phil~d~iphlao L~sten~ o~icer~ I ~ure do~t want to m~k~ troublo. Thon sit down and listen to m~. You ~v~r ~e~ ~nythlny lik~ this b~fore? Let's ~c. A lo~ butto~ alu~t it? We-ell ......... You b~lony to that lodge, don't Fou?
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HONEST JO[~[~ : LUDLAM: HONEST JOHN: LUDLAI~: HONEST J0 hZ[: LUDLAII: HONEST JOHN: LUDLAI~: HONEST JOHN: LUDLOW: HONEST JO~: LUDLAM: HONEST JO~: LUDLAM: HONEST JO~W: We-ell~ yes ..... A lot of the members co~e in h~reI donT~ theyT I wouldnlt saF no. How ~bout & ~omber named ~Ich~rd W~llace? Donrt stall. Ilm working with tho United $tatos Bureau of InvestIg~tion on this case. If you don't answer me youtll find yourself talking to Uncle Sam. All right -- I know a Richard Wallace. He identifled hlmself with a me~er~hlp card In your lodge? I wouldnlt havo let him in the joint if hc hadn't shown me som~thlng lik~ that. Well~ youtll be ±ntereBted to know hels an escaped convict. Ho and a pal of hls trisd to pa~s a bad check in the Hew Orloans branch of your lodge. Well, he was so smart that he stole a membership card off one of th@ offic~ desks ~- in the n~me of Ill chard ~all&ce. The Federal Agents traced him olear up here to Philadelphia by that stolen card° How do yo~ c~tch on? H~.. You know, hcuscd to be here every d~y -- just slttlng ~nd broodlng-lik~ ~Ith his drink. But la~oly he~s just been having mc s~nd the stuff over to him. What's th~ address? (~ND) Como on! (PA~KING D0~) All rlgh~ officer. No offense. Walt horn. Ill] get it for you.
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SOI:D INTERLUDE: ROSS: LUDLAM: LEONARD: ROSS: LNONARD: LUNLA~: ~DS8: LEONARD: LUDLA~: LEONARD: BUCELEY: ROSS~ BUCKLEY: ~SO- AUTOMOBILE PASSING THROUGH OITY STREET, WITH TgAFFIC NOISES. (QUIET) That's his ~oor, rlghtthere, I guess hers home too, ~r. Ross -- neighbors say he hasnlt gone out in weeks, except for meals. So far as he knows, thereto no reason for hlm to lie low° I dcnlt understand why hels stayed so close here. WeJll know more ~fter we~ve talked to him. Knock on th~ door, Leonard. Here goes....But remember Buckley's a touch one, so keep back....denrt let him firs through the door. (KNOCKS OK DOOR) Come on, in there. Open up~ (PADRE) Maybe werll have to break it down. Wait a minute, See if itTs locked. Thatts an idea. (TO~SK~OR) Well, fill be darned~ ItPs open| (OPENS DOOR) Look out there~ Come on in, qulcklK. (FADING IN) %~at are you guys after? Wolfe after you, Jack Buckley. The Warden wants you back in ~he penitentiary. Listen, i donrt knew who you are -- I~ve never been in a penitentiary.
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ROSS: BUCKLEY: LEONARD: RUCKLEY: LUDLA~: BUCKLEY: ROSS: LUDLAN: LEONARD: ROSS: BUCKLEY: LEONARD: BUCKLEY: ROSS: Sorry, Buekley -- we kuow your picture too well. ~y name's Richard Wallace. Donlt flash that lodge card -- we know where you stole it. That ~as zlght after the Matthews jewelry job in Lucerne, Mississippi, wasnT% it? Well, what am I -~p against? Tell me? I'm a Philadelphia detective, Suckleyo Why don~t you come down to police headquarters with me? To clear myself. Sure. Why not. I'll just -- Look out -- look out for the ~an~ (SOUNDS - SHOTS - SCUFFLE) l~ve got him -- grab that rod~ o.g. -- Ilve jot it. (WHISTLES) That v~s a close one, Say -- I think he's still going to put up a serao. (SNARLS) Ycah, you bet I~ll put up a scrap. Irll -~ (PAUSES AND COMTINUFS WITH SPIRIT GOgE) Oh, what's the use? I ~ess you gays are too s1~s.rt. And I thought I was the wise mo~oy. I took that chump Dawsou and I!~de a bum crook OUt of him -- and I hauled my ~ife around the country till 8he caught pneumonia and died. Died? Your wifels dead, BuckleF? She's burlod hero in Philly. You c~n ~heck it up if you ?;ant to. (BITTERLy) I even had to use an alias on her to~stong. Well1 cheek it alX right, Buciley, Rut probably it was the best way out, for her at that. Come on, boy~ come along. Lctls go bask and sec the Warden.

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