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American Tobacco

Television Continuity, Lucky Strike, Jack Benny, Oct. - Dec. 1954

Date: Oct 1954
Length: 274 pages
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AS BROADCAST AMRRICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE THE JACK BENNY TELEVISION PROGRAM SUNDAy~ OCTOBER 3t 1954 CBS EXTRAS : 0AS__~T: PROGRAM #i FINAL REVISION 4:30 - 5:00 PM PST JACK BENNY ROCHESTER DON WII~0N SPORTSMEN FPANK NEISON ERIC SNOWI~N (Not used) JOE BESSER GLORIA GORDON JESSYLIN FAX BEA BENAI~RET BENNY ROBIN SARA BERNER MADIE NORMAN PIERRE WATKINS BILLy HALOP MAUREEN $TEpP~ANSON INot usedI CAROLYN HORNE Not used Mary Benoit Stuart Hall Laura Anders Tommy Mann June Earle \ JG i 8TH01 0335?52
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f THE AJ~iERICa',N TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE TI~ JACK BENNY TV SHOW OPENIBO COMMERCIAL - TIME : CUT TO TITLE CARD: "THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM". OPEN - i 1:00 LIVE (MUSIC: LUCKY STRIKE TH~E UP AND UNDER --~) ANNOUNCER ~t From Television City in Hollywood-- The Jaok Benny Program f CUT TO TITLE CARD: "PRESENTED BY LUCKY STRIKE". CUT TO TITLE CARD: "BE HAPpy -- GO LUCKY, LUCKIES TASTE BETTER~'. presented by Lucky Strike (MUSIC : VAMP AND BE HAPPY -- GO LECKY -- SHORT VERSION. ) CUT TO #79 AN~%TION JG RT~OI 0335753
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opEN ON LONG ESTABLISHING SHOT OF CONCERT HALL STAGE WITH CHOKES ON IT, TAKEN FNOM MIDDLE AISLE. DOLLy IN TO MS. LIGHT DI~. A SPOT FALLS ON WING OF STAGE. ENTER SCOOP IN SPOTLIGHT, HE IS I~CULATELY DRESSED IN TAILS. HAIR IS SLICKED DOWN WIT}{ PART IN MIDDLE. HIS FACIAL EXPRESSION IS ONE OF EXTR~E IMPRESSARIO ALOOFNESS. BEAM OF LIGHT PANS WITH SCOOP TO CENTER STAGE AND PODIUM. ~E MOUNTS PODIUM, TERNS AND BOWS FROM THE WAIST TO AUDIENCE IN FORMAL r&~NNER. HE TURNS TO GLEE CLUB, BATON IN HAND. RAISES ARMS AND TARS BATON ON HEAD C~ A CHORUS ~ER. THEN }~ SWINGS DOWN A~ IN STRENUOUS EXAGGERATED FASHION ( COAT TAILS FLYING ) PUIL HACK AS SECOND SPOTLIGHT ~ALI~ ON STAGE TO RIGHT SCOOP REVEALING DOROTHY LIVE. SHE IS DRESSED ~N ~NG EVENING GOWN. sHE ~TARTS TO ZING AS ZNTRO CONCLUDES. DOROTHY WINGS FIRST 8 BARS WITH Sk~NGING BGUNCER~ ANIMATED SCOOP AND CHORUS C~G IN SWAYING IN RIGHT HAND SPOTLIG~ OPEN - 2 sou : oF LINq HAND~. SOUND: SCATTERED. DIGNIFIED_ EPPIAUSE. (SOUND: LITTLE %7{ISK SOUND) (MUSIC: BEGIN INTRO WITH CH ~BILL DOROTHY If you want better taste from you~ cigsrett~. JG r AT~401 033-5F5~%
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/ 0P N - 3 T}~ AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE #79 (CONT 'D) ON WORDS: nLUCKY STRIKE" LUCKY STRIKE BULLSEYE ZO0~&5 ON CURTAIN DOROTHY (LIVE) AND SCOOP (ANIMATED) CIAP BANDS. CUT TO WAIST SHOT OF VARIOUS SECTIONS OF CHORUS SINGING AND SWINGING. CUT TO MCU SCOOP SINGING. HE TURNS HEAD TO RIGHT SMILING AT DOROTHY. CUT TO DOROTHY. SHE SMILES BACK, NODDING TO SCOOP AS SHE DELIVERS LINE. DOROTHY (OONT'D) Lucky Strike is the brand to get. It's toasted to give you the best taste yet, It's the toasted ... .,, (CLAP ... CLAP, CLAp) ... cig - a - rette~ They take fine tobacco, It's li~ tobacco, It's mild tobacco, too. Then it's toasted ... Ye__~s, it's toasted .,. CUT TO IS OF DOROTHY AND SC00P. S~ EXTEND~ ARMS TO ~MPHASI~ COPy POINT "BECAUSE THE TOASTING BRINGS THE FLAVOR NIGHT TKRCUGH". SCOOP DANCES UP TO DOROTHY WHILE SINGING LINE. ... because tlm $oastln~ brines the flavor right through~ JG A 1"~0'1 0335P55
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THE AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE #79 (CONT 'D) DOROGHY SINGS AS SCOOP PIROUETTES UNDER DOROTHY'S OUTSTRETCHED L~T ARM. VIA STOP-MOTION, LUCKY STH E ) DESCEND6 OVER SCOOP. SCOOP RISES UPWARD THRU PACK AND DANCES ON TOP OF IT. SCOOP PUSHES 3 CIGARETTES BACK INT0 PACK WITH HIs FOOT. SCOOP BENDS OVER FROM TOP OF PACK, KISSES DOROTHY. THEN BOTH HOLD }~D2 TOGETHER. OPEN 4 DOROTHY AND SCOOP So to get better taste from your cigarette, Luc~Etrik~ is the brand to gst~ It's toasted to give you the best taste yet .,. It's the toasted ... ... (CIAP ... CL~P, CLAP). ... cig - a retie.' JG FIT ;gO 1 0335756
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m~ f (r VlSED) (AFTER OPENING C0~4ERCIALA JACK C0~B ODT TO "BE I~V~ IN BLOOM A~D AppLAUS~)(HE ~INGS A FEW BARS OF MY LOVE") JACK I~dies sod gootlemen, thatls really me - not a rooo~dlng. Thazk you, thank you, thank you...and welcome to the Lucky Str~ke Program. As you know, this is ~y opening show of the season, and what 6 hectic week it has been! It sure h~s been tough trying to rehearse with the World Series going on. Now no~mally I'm ~ot a gambilug man...bufi I made a b~t with so m~ny people that when I figured up all the bets I'd made, the total came to twenty-one thous~r~, five hundred and eleven dolL~re. Ten thousand, seven hundred and flfty-flve that the Giants would wln...and ten thoussnd seven hundred and fifty-si~ that the Indians would win. Now that may sound silly to you.,.but how else can you bet such big money, get so much excitement, and only lose a buck... And I don~t think I'm going to lo~e the dollar, either...because I made a bet with Dennis Day. I bet that not one of the games would be called on account of all the players having the mumps...It's a pretty sure bet. I looked it up in the Gillette Record Book and it very seldom happens. And besides the Series, another exciting thing that happened this week ~a~ the big pTemler Of "A gt~T is Bor~" starring Dusty Rhodes -- I mean "A Star is Born" starring Judy Garland. What a gala affair tb~t was .f 81-H01 0335V57
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JACK (CONTINUED) Hollywood h~sn't seen such excitement since the premiere of '~The Horn Blows at Midnight". That's one night I'll never forget. The Warner Brothers used over 150 searchlights...and six bloodhounds, but they still didn't find me. An~ay, getting back to my show...On tonight's show I'm doing something rather (YAWNS) ...Gee, I 'm sleepy...tonight we're doing something rather unusual. As a ~ule, on an opening show we... (YAWNS) ... we have a guest star of some kind but on tonight's ... (YAWNS) ... I'm terribly sorry... EXCUSe me . (JACK YAWNS ;ND STRETCHES...AND THEN EASES HIMSELF DOWN TO THE FLOOR) We're not having any guest star because (YAWNS) the script doesn't call ... (YAWNS) for it. So we,re just going to ... just going to... (JACK YAWNS HIMSELF INTO LUSTY SNORES. ) DON RUS}~S ON STAGE FROM WING. DON Jack...Jack...Wake up! Wake up: JACK SNORES, JG RT~01 0335?58
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V i¸ • -2- DON Jack ! ( TO AUDIENCE ) Oh for heaven's sakes. (TO JACK) Jack, wake up..Come on. (HE SHAKES JACK..JACK SNORES) DON ( TO AUDIENCE j EMBARRASSED This is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened. (TO JACK) Imaglue £aillng asleep on your opening show. (TO AUOIENCE ) ...Ladies and gentlemtn, I feel that we not only owe you all sn apology, but sn explsnetlon. I know this is ~idiculous..but it really isn't Jack's fault. You see, he~els how it happened.. He was...well..let me take yon back to this morning and show you exactly how it began. DISSOLVE TO THE KITCHEN OF JACK'S HOUSE. [ • BH f~l":~O 1 0335759
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-3, 4, 5, 6, ~ 7- JACK ' 8 VOI O~ (CALLS) Rochester -- ROCHESTER GOES INT0 THE LIVING ROOM. JAOI( IS BTANDI~} IN THE CENTER OF ~1~ ROOM HOLDING A SHOE IN HIS HAND. TB ROCHESTER Boss, I thought yould still be in bed. I wBs going to bring this trey up to your room. JACK Well...I couldn't sleep so I got up ~nd showered end sheved 8n~ reed my script 8 few times. There are a couple of changes I went to make. ROC}~ST~R Oh. Nervous ebout your opening show, huh? JACK Nervous? Don~t be silly. I've been in show business too long to be nervous. I just couldn't sleep so I got up and got dressed. (LIFTING HIS PANTS LEGS TO SHOW THAT }~'S ONLY WEARING ORE SOCK) By the way, Rochester, where is the sock that matches thls one? AYe01 0335260
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-B- I don't know. last night? ROCHESTER I laid St out on the dresser JACK Oh, you did, eh? (LIFTING HIS PA~TS I~S AGAIN) How many socks do you see? ROCHESTER (LOOKING DOWN A LITTI~ CLOSER) nO. What? JACK ROCHESTER You put both socks on the same foot. JACK (PULLING THE TOP SOCK DOWN TO SHOW TEE ONE UNDERNEATH) Well, I'ii be derned. ROCHESTER BOSS, are you su~ you~ not nervous? JACK Of course I~m not nervous. Tb-~s could happen to anybody. ROCHEST~R Sit down, Boss, and I'll he&p you. JACK SITS DOWN. ROCheSTER LEANS DOWN OBSTRUCTING THE VIEW OF JACK'S FEET FROM THE AUDIENCE. BH F~T ~01 0335761
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J -9- JACK Imagine me putting both socks on the same foot. No wonder I could hardly get my shoe on. ROCKESTER I'm surprised you got it on at all. JACK Why? ROC}~STER You put your socks on over your bedroom slipper. JACK ROC~S~R Boss, how c~N you say yontro not nervous? JACK ~cause IIm not nervous. IIve had opening shows before. I may be concerned..but certainly not nervous. Do you under,and? ROCHESTER Yes si~. Now if you'll just stop twltc~Ltng your toes, I'll put your other shoe on. JACK Oh, quiet. BY THIS TIME ROCHESTER HAs TAKEN THE SECOND SOCK OFF JACK'S FOOT AND PUT IT ON HIS RIGHT FOOTs THEN PUT HIS SHOES BACK ON. ROC~STER There you are. Thank you. JACK BH ~I"~01 033~262
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~S -iO & II- ROCHESTER BO~S~ why donlt you have you~ breakfast before it gets cold. JACK Okay. JACK SITS D~NAT THE TABLE. WHILE JACK REARRA~3ES SOME THINGS ON THE TABLE, ROCHESTER TAKE~A VASE~OFFLOW~ AND PLACES IT ON T}~TABLEq ROCHESTER ~! I'm sure you're going to have a good show today, boss. JACK Thank you. Ah,..roses. ...they smell wonderful. WHILE JACKUNFOLD8 THE NAPKIN AHDTUCEB IT IN, EOCHESTERSETS ANOT~ERVASE OF FLOWERS ON THE TABLE. BB ~1~01 0335763
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-i2 - JACK Rochester, why all the flowers? ROC}~STER I don't know how fresh those eggs are. JACK Rochester, If that,s your idea of being f~nny, you can 4- WE ?lEAR T~E PHONE RING IN TP~ KITCHEN. ROCHEST~ (HASTILY) Exo~se me~ boss. ROCHESTER GOES OUT TO THE KITCKEN AND ANSWERS THE PHONE. ROC~ST~q (INTO PHONE) Mr. Benny's residence. SUSIE'S VOICE Hello, Rochester, this is Susie. ROCHESTE~ Oh oh OH..Hello, Susie..What did yeu call for, Honey? SUSIE ' S VOICE Well, I'm get,lug a day off tomorrow, so I thought maybe we could go someplace. BA ATX01 0335264
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ROCHESTER / No, Susie° Tomorrow Itve got to wash the dishes, scrub the floo~s~ polish the woodwork, beat the rugs, paper the guest room and fix the roof. SUSIE' S VOICE Oh, Rochester, Mr. Benny couldn, t work you that haM. ROCHESTER Couldn, t, eh? You may not believe this, but each time Mr. Benny leaves the house he puts ohalk on the seat of my pants. SUSIE' S VOICE Chalk on the seat of your pants: ROCHESTER If he comes home and finds a white chair, I'm in trouble. JACK'S VOICE (IRRITABLY) Rochester.. ROCHESTER (Z~0 PHONE) l~ve got to hang up now, Susie, I'Ii talk to ~ou tomorrow. Goodbye. BB A 1)(0 1 0335?65
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-14 - ROCHESTER HANGS IrP AND GOES TO THE LTVING ROOM. ROCHESTER WhatVs wrong, Boss? JACK Everything is wrong. I have to do mF first television show tod~v a~d I can't oven get a deoent breakfast. I never saw 8uoh -- ROCHESTER Boss, bo88.,c~im dOWD, Do~It be so petrols. JACK I'm ~ot ~ervo~s. It's ~ust that the bacon was oold~ the eggs I ~ouldn~t to.oh ~t all..and the toast was so tough I could hardl~ eat it. ROCHESTER Toast?..I didn't make any toast. JACK (POINTING TO A pLATE) It was right here on this dish -- ROCHESTER BOSS, Sou ate the pot holder. "~LW n1"NO'l 0335766
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/ / S!¸ ~ : ~:z < • ,I :i JACK The Pot Holde~ Oh well, it's only ten calories. Rochester, I'm sorry if I screamed at you..It's just that when I do a show, especlslly an opening show..I want everything to be right. I even worry about the little details,..Let's see, my director is still home. Maybe I ought to call him and tell him to get down to the studio a little early. JACK STEPS OVER TO THE PHONE AND DIALS..WE HEAR THE INN2~ PHONE RING..A CLICK..AND AN OP~ATOR'S VOICE, SLIGHTLY FIL~. FIRST OP~PATOR'S VOICE (F~) The number you have reached has be~o ~ disconnected. You may have the wrong number in mind. ,or you m~y have dialled incorrectly. This is a recording. JACK (TO HEV6ELY) Record~ ng? FIRST OPERATOR'S VOICE (FILTER) On the other side is "Thr~e Coins In A Fountain". What? ! JACK SECOND OPERATOR'S VOICE (SINGS) Three coins in the fountain Each one seeking happiness Thrown by thmee hopeful lovers Which one will the fountain bless? JACK LOOKS AT THE RECEIVER UNBELIEVABLY, ~ S'~APS IT DOWN BA ~TH01 03357~?
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................................ / LW -16 - JACK That's the silliest thing I ever heard. ROCHESTER What are you talking abner, boss? JACK That operator on the phoue..she was sloging to me. ROCHESTER Boss, you're reBlly nervous today. JACK I~m Dot zervous! ROCHESTER Maybe you're imagining things. JACK I 'm not imagininB things. JACK PICKS UP THE EECEIVER A~D HOLDS IT TO ROC}~STER'S EAR. JACK Just listeD! ROCHESTER (AFTER PAUSE) Boss, I don't hear auythi~E. JACK You have to dlal..Go ahead, dlal HollHood 3-34~9. Okay. ROCHESTER ROCHESTER DIA~ THE NUMHER..WE HEAR INNER PHONE BUZZ..CLICK.. THEN ~ OPERATOR'S VOICE. FIRST OPERATOR 'S VOICE (FILTER) (W~ NICE) What number were you cslling? 8YM01 033S?68
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-17- ROCHEST~ Hollywood 3-3449, FIRST OPERATOR'S VOICE I '~ so~'ry, but that nuraber ks been changed. R00}~ST~q (TO JACK) BOSS, thst n~eD h~s b~eD changed, JACK Oh, no woudeP I had trouble, Give me t~t phone. (INTO PHONE) 0p~ratol,, wb~t ha~ that number been changed to? SECOND 0P~RATOR'S VOICE (SINGS) Tbmee coins in the fountain Each one seeking happiness T~own by three hopeful lovers Which one will the fountain bless. JACK SLAMS DOWN THE RECEIVER. ROC~T~ What's the "~atteP now? JACK Nothing, nothing! Rochester, I'm going down to the studio. If I just sit ~rou~d her~, Z ~ill get upset, JACK GOES OVER TO THE CLOSET AND GETS H~S COAT AND HAT. BA ~l'~O'l 033576B
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-18- ROCI~TI~ Boss, it's so esrly, why don't you ~alk to the studio. The fresh 81r and exercise will help calm you down. JACK (THINKING IT OVER) Yesh..that's a good idea, Rooh~ste~, I'll walk. So long, Rochester. ROCHEST~ HELPS JACK ON WITH HIS COAT. AS JACK GOES TOWARD THE FRONT DOOR, ROCHEST~ PICKS UP THE FEATHER DUSTER AND BE~DS OVER (BACK TO AUDIENCE) TO DUST THE LEG OF THE COFFE~ TABLE. JACK REACHES THE DOOR AND STOPS AS HE TPIINKB OF SOMET}~NG. HE WALKS BACKs PICKS UP A CONTAI~ OF POWD~qED CHAI~, AND FROC~S TO WHIT~ THE SEAT OF ROCP~STER'S PA~TS. TEAT DONE, JACK MAKES A SPIRITED EXIT. DISSOLVE TO STR~ SC~E. <, AI'~01 0335??0
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/ -19- A FEW PEOPLE WALK BY..THEN JACK STROLLS DOWN T?~ STREET. HE PASSES A LITTLE STORE. JACK STOPS TO READ THE SIGN ACROSS THE FRONT.. "ORANGE JUICE - ALL YOU CAN DRINK - iO CENTS". jACK Y~nm. JACK STUDIES THE SIGN, APPRAISINGLy, THEN MAKES UP HIS MIND AND GOES IN. WE HOLD ON THE FRONT OF T}~ STONE WHICH HAS A COUN~ER-TXFE SET-UP IN THE OFE~ FRONT. TRERE IS A L~E METAL CAN OUT FRONT WITH AN OPEN CHUTE LEADING FROM THE STORE AND ENDING OVER TRE 0FENING OF THE METAL CAN.. AFTER JACK HAS ENTERED T~ STONE, FOUR HALVES OF ORANGES THAT }lAVE BEEN SQUEEZED, SLIDE DOWN TRE CHUTE AND DROP INT0 THE CAN...THEN MORE SQUEEZ~ ORANGE HALVES SLIDE DOWN...THEN MORE .THEN MORE... THEN MORE...THEN MORE..THEN MORE..THEN MORE...THEN~MORE. FINALLy JACK F/KEEGES, PATTING HIS S~lDMACH. AS HE TURNS TO WALK DOWN THE STREET TOWABD THE CORNER, THE MAN FROM THE STORE WEARING AN APRON) COMES 0NT WITH A PAINTBRUSH AND BLACKS OUT QALL YOU CAN DRINK" AND GOES BACK IN AS JACK CONTINUES DOWN TOWARD THE CORNER, TWO OLD LADPES STROLL INT0 VIEW. AS JACK REACHES THE CORNER AND IS ABONT TO STEP OFF THE CURB, WE HEAR A TRAFFIC BELL. JACK Whoops. JACK STEPS BACK TO WAIT. THE TWO OLD WOMEN ARE NOW ABOUT EIGHT FEET REHIND H~4. EMILy SUDDENLy GRABS MARTHAIS ARM, AND THEY STOP. EMILy (EXCITEDLY) Marths - Ma~tha, look..Isn't that Jack Benny? MANTHA (EQUALLy EXCITED ) Yes - yes, it Is. Oh, Emily, isn't he h~ndsome? Steady, gi~i, steady. MARTHA I oanJt help it. Just ioo'~ at those broad shoulders..thst devil-may-GaTe tilt of his hesd. f~] M01 0335771
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4- -20- EMILY Oh, Martha, you say the same things 8bout F~snClS X. Bushman...But you kzow~ it's a shame. With all that talent, Mr. Benny hasn't been in a picture in 8 long time. MARTHA Veil, if they ever re-make The Shiek, hers a cinch. ~ILY You're so right. He has such greet public appeal. You know, every time therers an election I write in his name. As 8 matter of fect, I voted for him on many OCCeslon8. MARTHA You did? EMILY Three times for President, twice for Governor, and once for Miss Rheingold. EMILY MAKES A MOVE TO GO. MARTEA (STOPPING }~R) When th~ light changes, wait 8while or he'll think we're following him. EMILY At his age he'll walt for us. MS 8TH01 0335??2
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~- .I , -El- AS JACK STEPS OFF THE CIRB, A MAN IMMACUI~TELY DRESSED, STEIFE~ pANTS, CAB, ETC., AppROACHING JACK F20M THE OTHER S31~ OF TBE STREET STOPS HIM. MAN I beg your pardon, slz,..but do you know how to get to the Wellington A~t Gsllsrles? JACK The Wellington Art Gslle~les? No...No, I'm awfully sorry but I don't. MAN Well, ~ou go st~sight down for three blocks, left for two, then turn right st the traffic signal and you can't miss it. WITH THAT, T}~ MAN CONTIN~S ON HIS WAY..LEAVING JACK WONDerING WHAT IN THE NELL HAPPENF~D. SIGNAL BELL CLANGS. SS VE TO SS ROOM. A RTARDROBE MAN IS SITTING IN THE ROOM RIBBING CLEANING FLUID ON TNE COAT SL~V~fE OF ONE OF JACK'S SUITE. THE STAIN SEEMS HARD TO GET OL~ AND TNE MAN CONTINUES TO RUB VIGOROUSLy. JACK ENI~RS. JACK Hello, Joe. JOE Hello, Mr. Benny. I laid out your make-up end got you a new jar of cold cream. JACK Thanks, What are you doing? JOE This is the most stubborn stain I've ever seen. I've been rubbing and rubbing end rubbing end it wonJt come out. MS R/H01 03352?3
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2,¸_ f -22- JACK Greese spot?.,,On my coat sleeve?...Joe, thatTs the suit Itm supposed to weaP on the show tonlgbt., the o]~gnlng show.t...I knew things would go wrong. JOE This is nothlng. Welt till you see the rip in the curtain, JACK ~ (GETTING wORKED UP) Rip in the curtain? JOE It happened when ens of the big lights fell .... Smashed the ceme~a all to pieces. JACK (ON OF m iA) Smashed the oame~a? DON AND THE SPORTSMEN QUARTET ENTER. JACK (GRABBING JOE BY THE LAPELS) How did it heppon..Who did it?.,.Can they get it flxed?..Whst ere we going to do? JC~ I dontt know. I wasn't there. I was just told about it. DON Jackl JACK Just a minute, Don. MS R1"~01 03357?4
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-23- DON But Jack, the Sportsmen have a wonderful commercial for the opening show. It,s an idea where they welcome you back on the air. JACK Well Ioan. t hear it now. (TO JOE) Tell me, Joe, did they sew up the ourtaln?, i...Did they fix the camera? JOE But I ~asn, t there~ I. DON But, Jack, you.ve got to hear it now. JACK DO~ - - - DON Come on in, fellows. AIM01 0335P?5
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-23A- QUARTET Hello, Hello, Js~k. Welcon~ home, we're glad youfre back. We've missed you and your big blue eyes Hello, Mr. '~" Are you beck on sels~y You are looki~g st fou~ hun~ guys. We have even missed your Stradivs~lus When you tell a joke, wo'll be hils?Ious. So welcome, Mr. '~" Back to CBS TV Yeu are the one we idolize Hello, Lucky Strlke You will llke a Lucky Strike Light s Lucky, puff on it awhile Better taste you will get It's the toasted clgsrette. Light e Lucky, smoke it with a smile Lucky Strikes are made of fine tobacco They are toasted Yes sir, that's a fact so Hello, M~. '~" with 8n LS~?T We need you on the Bergly show, hello So once 8gain we say "hello"° ATe01 03357?6
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-2~- JACK Look fellows -- T~ LYRICS SHGUE INT0 C0#~EROIAL...~EN, GOING INT0 THE LAST CHORI~, THEy TAKE SUN BONNETS OUT OF THEIR POCKETS, pUT THEM ON, AND SING AND DANCE LIEE FOi~ CHORUB GIRLS, WITH KICKS, ETC. JACK Fellows, you don't hsve to dence..just sing..end I don~t went those hsts..Boys..hold It..wslt a minute..walt a minute..WAIT A MINUTE..WAIT A_ THE QUARTET STOPS JACK Out, everybody. Everybody out: JOE yeab, everybody out, outl Me, too: THE QUARTET AND JOE EXIT..LEAVING DON. DON Jsck, I don~t know whet youlre so upset 8bout. The boys were Just trying to have a little fun on our opening show. JACK A lot of fun weVre going to have. The curtain is ripped, the light fell down, the camera Is smashed..the oranze juice had plts in ft...And you ask me why I'm upset. MS ~V ATe01 03357??
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-24A- DON I'~ sure everything will be all right, I've got to get out on stage now. Just take it easy. JACK I hsve to call Rochester and tell him to hurry down with ~nother suit, JACK PICKS UP THE RECEIVER, AND AS SOON AS }~ FDTS IT TO HIS EAR, WE HEAR T~E OP~ATORr8 VOICE, y MS ATe01 0335??8
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#, / -25 -26-27- SEOOND OEg2ATOR'S VOICE (SINGING) Three oo~us in the fountsln Eech one ~eekin~ happlue~s. Thrown by three hopeful lovers kq~Ich one will the fountain bless. JACK SLAMS DOWN TRE KECEIVE~. JACK How did she know I wes here? (LoOKING AT THE PHO~) Well, she's gone too fsr this time. JACK PICKS UP THE RECEIVER ~GAIN. J~OK (ANGRILY) Operator - Operator - FIRST OPERATORI8 VOICE Number please. JACK (RAISING HIS VOICE) Never mind that "Numbe~ ~leese" bus~ose. IIv@ hSd ell the trouble I'm going to take from you: OPERATOR '8 VOICE Whet number were you ceiling? JACK I wasnlt calling any n~er~ And if you think I'm going to let 8 crazy telephone operator make a nervous wreck out of me on my opening show, you've got another guess coming,t MS AI"N01 033572B
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-28- OPERATOR But, si~ -- JACK llm coming down and mako a personal complaint. Where is the telephone office? FIRST OPERATOR You ~0 stralght down for three blocks, left fo~ two, then turn wight at the traffic slgnsl, d 8nd you esnTt miss it. JACK Oh, yesh?...That h8ppens to be the Wellington Art Galleries. FIRST OPERATOR %re're in the basement. JACK Basement .' F~ST OPERATOR (SING) Three girls in the basement, Each one seeking happiness, Thrown by three hopeful lovers, Which one will the fountain bless. JACK I don't know why 811 these thi[Lgs have to happen DON & J~E RUSH IN DON Jack.~ Jack| What's wrong? We just heard you yelling and shouting: ~1"~01 0335?80
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-29- JAOK Why wouldn't I shout'...I'm not going to take any more...l've hsd enough.~ DON What are you talking 8bout? JACK l~ll tell you what I'm talking ~bout. Ths$ phone..that phone has been singing to me. DON ~EYEING JACK SUSPICIOUSLY) The phone has been singin~ to -- (S~NLY) Joe, go get the doctor. JOE Oh, I will, I will, this men is hysterlcsl. JOE MAKES A HASTY EXIT. JACK Don, I don~t need a doctor. DON Jack, I know 8n opening show is a strain, but I hsd no Ide8 it would do this to ?ou. Co~e on, sit down and cain down. JACK I don't need to cslm down. Itm not nePveus : M$ ; ~ i"~'~ •~ • . • . ~ Rr ;~01 0335781
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-30- DON (T~I~G HIM BY ~ ~) Come on, J~ck. JACK Okay..okay.,I guess I have been under a strain. You see, I want to do a good show..I owe it to my fans. They've always been so loyal..One of them even voted for me to be pmesldent.. I wonder if Warner Bros. will ever make The Sbiek. I thinI( l'll call them about it. ~ISON KNOCKS ON DOOR. DON Comb ~. NELSON ENT~qS, WEARING A WHITE COAT, A STETHESCOPE DANGLING FROM AROUND HIS NECK. NEISON Did anyone send for me? JACK (wrm ~ GaOAN) I did. NELSON Wellllllll, so you're my little patient. Doctor, today Mr. Benny starts his new television Season and hels 8 nervous w~eck. JACE ( IIEFIA~LY ) I'm net nervous~ RI"H01 0335?82
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Last year ~ou were ~ousy. NELSON Wet1, you ought to be. JACK Look, I want a doctor~ not a critic. NELSON Ooh, all right° Open your mouth. OPENS HIS NOUTH. NELSON LOOKS INSIDE WTTH FLASH LIGHT. NELSON Wider. Wide~. Wider. JACK What are you delhi? NELSON I'm looking for the ~leveland manager. He must be hiding somewhere. JACK Look, doctor, it's almost time for me to go on. You were called in here to calm me down. Now do something. NELSON Very well, very well. (PICKS UP HIS BAG A~ Pb~S IT IN JACK'S LAp) I~ll have to wash my hands, so you open my little black bag. JACK What? NELSON Go ahead, open it. JACK OPENS THE BAG A~D A "JACK IN THE BOX" SPRINGS Ob~ WITH A BOING. ft 1",~01 0335783
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-32- JACK' Doctor...Dootor...what Is this? NELSON Just something to amuse you while I wash my hands. JACK Oh, for heaven,s sakes. NELSON STEPS OVER TO THE WATER BASIN AND STARTS TO WASH HIS HANDS. DON Doctor, all I wanted you to do was to give Mr. 4 Benny something to calm him down. Why do you have to wash your hands? NELSON I just performed an emer6ency operation..Forty- seven stiohes. JACK Forty-seven stiches: What did you do? NELSON I sewed up the curtain. JACK Don, if this dooto~ was supposed to make me relax, I'm worse off than I was. DON Doctor, when are you 6olng to do somethln~ to calm him down? NELSON Right now. A1"~01 0335784-
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i WHIIE JACK ROILS UP HIS SL~, NELSON TAKES A HYpO~RMIC OUT OF HIS BAG. DON It's getting close to sir time, I better get out on the stsge. -53 - DON F~XITS. NELSON (TO JACK) Now, hold still JACK W~it till I teke my cost off. NELSON It won't be nscesssry. JACK A long -- Ouch~ NELSON There you ere. JACK I hsve 8 long needle. Well, it's 8bout time. Ar~ you sure it ~iI cslm ~ down? NELSON Oooooooh, will It~ Thst 'll put you to sleep for ten hours. JACK (JUMPING UP) Sleep~? Doctor, I don't w~nt to go to sleep. I've got to do my opening show. lCnat kind of a doctor are you, 8nywsy~...All I wanted you to do wss -- ~E HEAR T}~ ORCHESTRA PLAYINE "LOVE IN BLOOM. " TB ATM01 0335?85
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I- -34- JACK Oh, my Eoodness, there,s my music. What am I going to do no~'..l o~t go out on stage now that I~ve had that shot..You purposely did that because I was lousy last year. But I,m not galn$ to JOE COMES RUNNING IN. let you get away with -- JOE ( EXC IT~gLy ) Mr. Bennyl...M~. Bennyl..Hurr~|..Mr. ~llson is calling for ~ou..The audience is waltlngl JACE But, this doctor -- JOE Never m~nd the doctor:...Hurr~..Hurry! JOE FUSES JACK OUT OF THE DOOR, THEN STEPS BACK TO NELSON, EYEI~3 H~M CONTg~PTUOUSLY. JOE You crazy you2 JOE AND NELSON GAZE AT EACH OTHER WITH A FIXED STARE: AS WE DISSOLVE TO ONE. DON A~ JACK AEE BACK IN THEIR ORIGinAL DGN And that, Ladies and gentlemen, is exactly what happened. Jac~ will be back io just a mlo~te, but first ~ word to cigarette smokers. '/out TO COMMERC~AL) A[~OI 0335?86
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THE AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRXE~ TED WILLIAMS TESTIMONIAL #85 (TIME: 1:30) OPEN ON FII~M CLIPS FROM RK0 TED WILLIAMS SHORT SUBJECT AS FOI/JOWS : WAIST SHOT OF WILLIAMS CASTING CUT TO ANOTHER SHOT AS TED REACTS TO A STRIKE LIME GOING OFF REEL. C~EI (NEW TRACK) ANDRE BARUCH (V.0.) Here's Ted Williams, one of baseball's greatest sloggers. Watch Ted go after a hard-fightlng bone fish off the Florida Keys. ,He's hooked one~ Look at that line peel offl CUT TO SHOT OF FISH BEING A good-slzed catch. Looks like an WEIGHED BY T~. eight poundem! C_ mA TO ADDIE OE) DISSOLVE THROUGH TO ~0 SHOT ...and it's all done with a glass rod. OF TE~ AND BARUCH. THEY AP~ ON PORCH OF FISHING LODGE. WILLIAMS IS HOLDING 9-FOOT GLASS ROD. BARUCH TURNS TO TED, CUT TO MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT OF TED. HE IS LOOKING AT ROD, SNAPPING IT AS }~ ANSWERS Ted's own company makes it. Ted, what do you call that rod? TED WILLIAm5 Well, it's a Ted Williams 9-footer. I~TNO 1 03357B?
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,[ THE AMERICA~ ~0BAC00 COMP#/C/ LUCKY ZTRIK~ TED WILLI#~ TESTIMONIAL (1:30) #85 (OONT' ) CUI' TO EVEN TIGHTER CLOGEUP OF WILL~.~ ~OLDING HIS LUCKY. CUT TO DIFFERENT ANGI~ SHOT OF WILLIAMS GUT TO BARUCH AL0~E IN MEDID;4 SHOT. }/E L00~ OFF C.~ TO WII/~A~ Hg TURNS AND ADDEESSES CAME~,. t~ HOLDS UP PACK CASUALLY. CLOSE 2 WZLL AMS (CO T'O) And I may be a little prejudiced, but I think it's the very best there is for bonefishiug. BARUCH I don't doubt it. Tell me, another thing, Ted. How do you feel sbout that Lucky you're smoking? TED WI~ Well, it's the b~st too. I switched to Luokles a oouple of years ago. While I smoke indoors and out, I probebly enjoy Luokies best in sn open boat. They give me just what I'm looking fom ...and that's better taste. BARUCH Well, millions of smokers wil agree ~Ith you there, Ted. Indoors and outdoors, e Lucky testes better for reasoos that ate printed right here on the pack. (MO~2) LF ~ ]':KO 1 0335?88
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/ THE AMerICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE TED WILLIAMS TESTIMONIAL (1:30) (CONT'D) MOVE INT0 MEDIUM CU OF BARUCH HOLDING LUCKY PACK. HE TILTS IT SO THAT BOTTOM FACES CAME~k. HE CASUALLY TURNS PACK TO FEATURE BULLSEYE. CUT TO TIGHT SHOT OF BULIS~, FEATURING '~IT'S T0.~STED". CUT BACK TO MEDIUM SHOT OF B/dqUCH. CUT TO MEDIUM SHOT OF WILLIA~ HOLDING A LUCKY. HE TAEXS A DRAW ~ CAMERA DISSOLVES OUT. CLOSE 3 BAt~UCH (COHTD) ...18/MFT, Luck~ Strike means fine tobscco...and then, that fine tobacco,., is toasted. It's Toasted is the famous Lucky Strike process that brings Luokia's fine toabcco to its peak of flavor... ...tones up this mild, naturally good-tastlng tobacco to make it taste even better, yes, a Lucky tastes better because it's the cigarette of flne tobacco and "ITIS TOASTED" to taste better. Cleaner, Fresher, Smoother. So, llke Tad Williams, Be Happy -- Go Lucky. WILL~4MS (ON C~MERA) Yessir~ Duckies taste great! if F~THO I 0335289
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-35- & -36- JACK COMES OUT TO ~JSIC & APPLAUSE) J~CE We haven't got much time. 1,11 be back here in two wee~s, a~d in the meautime be sure and watch Ann Southern. (JACK G(~S OFF TO MUSIC A~D APPLAUSE (cut To CReDiTS) RTHO~ 033~Z90
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(CREDITS) CARD #~ JACK BENNY PROGRAM CARD #5 DIRECTED BY RALPH IZVY CARD #6 PRODUCED BY HILLIARD MARKS CARD #7 WRITTEN BY CARD #8 MUSIC ~ SETS CArD #9 JACK BENNY PROGRAM -37- DON Appearing on tonight's program were: FPank Nelson, ~loria Gordon, Jess~iNn Fax, Joe Besser~- Pierre Watki~s, Bea Benadsr.et3 Sara Beerier, Madie Norman, Billy Halop, sod Benny Rubln. 1/4 ATHOI 0335?91
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CLOSING MEMO CARD #i0 / f. • CUT TO CARD #ii JACK BENNY pROGRAM SY ST~I CARD -38 - DON (VOICE owm) RemembeP - orJe week from tonightj on this same station, ADD Southern ret~r.~Js in "Private Sesret&r~. " Jack Benny's next television show will be in two weeks. In the meantime, be sume to listed to Jack Benny on radio every Sunday night over the CBS Radio Network. The Jack Benny Program has been brought to you by Lucky Strike, product of the American Tobacco Company, America~ s leading manufaot~Per of cigarettes. This is DOn Wilson, saying: "BE HAPPY, GO LUCKY!" This is the CBS Television Network. LW Z @ F~]'~01 0335, 9~
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AS BROADCAST SUNDAY~ OCTOBER 17, 1954 REVI~EDSCRIPT AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY I~CKY STRIKE THE JACK BENNYTELEVISION PROGRAM CBS 4:30 - 5:00 PM PST f CAST: JACK BENNY ROC~STER DON WILSON DAN DA ILEY KIRK DOUGLAS FRED MAC ~JRRAY TONY MARTIN DICK pOWELL CHARLIE B~GBY JOE HOWARD DON RICE ROBE --- SAM HEARN (Not used) RUBE'S WIFE --- MALDIE PRICKETT (Not used) USHER --- BILLY H~LOp JG A 1":409 0335P93
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O~N-I- THE AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCNY STRIKE THE J~CK BENN~ T~ SHOW OPENING COMMERCIAL - T~ME i:00 CUP TO TITLE CARD: "THE JACK BENNY pROGRAM". CU2 TO TITLE C~RD: "PRESE~I~ BY LUCEY STR~EE" LIVE ~MI~IC: LDCKY STRIKE THEME UP AND UEDER --~__ ANNOU~CER From Television City in Hollywood, the Jack Benny P~ogr~m with his special guests, Dan Dsiley, Kirk Douglss, Fred MacMurrsy, Tony Martln and Dick powell, presented by Lucky Strike, CUP TO TITLE CARD: '~iE HApFY - GO LUCKY, LUCKIES TASTE BETTER". (MLB~:VAMP A~BE~P~ -- GO LUCKY -- SHORT VERSION) CUP TO #84 RITA GA M J ~b BR Rr,~o I 03357,94
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,~ #84 - OPENING - RITA SAM - TIME 1:30 OP.EN -2- OPEN ON LONG 5HOT CF SUBTLY LIG]TYED AQUARIUN IN DA~KENF.D LIVING ROOM AS SEEN THROUGH C}~SSMEN ON CHESSBOARD IN TIGHT FOREGROUND. CHESSMEN ARE EXTREMELy lARGE AND BEAUTIfULLy CARVT~D. BEAUTIFUL F~ALE ~AND COMES ON. "TAKES" A ~ITE PIECE WITH A BLACK ONE AND LIFTS WHITE PIECE CFF SCREEN. START TO PULL BAOK SHOWING ASH TRAy WITH LIGHTED LUCKY AND OPENED BOOK SHOWING CHES~ PLAYS. CONTINUE TO FULL BACK AND TILT UP TO REVEAL RITA GAM A~REOTIVELY ATTIRED. ~RE IS THOROUGHLY ABSORBED IN TRYING TO pLAy A GAME AS OUTLINED IN THE BOOK OF GAMES WHICH LIES OPEN BESIDE THE BOARD. SHE HOLDS WHITE PIECE IN HER RENI~. RITA SPEAKS TO CA~. OUT TO DIFFERENT ANGLE SHOT AS BNE PUTS DOWN WHITE PIECE AND PICKS UP LIGHTED LUCKY. ANDRE BARUCK (V.O.) (WITH BRE~ENOE) This i~ gle~uero~B movie star Bita Gain. (ON CAntatA) You know wh~t I'm going? I'm studyin~ up on my chess. It's an intezesting thing about chess -- one move can mean the whole 6ame. That,s why I'm so careful with every move, I lime to sit and smoke and ~aiiy think it through. The cigarette, by the way, is Lucky Strike. (MORE) BB P,[H01 0335?95
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TI~ ~-M~RICAN ToBAcco COMPANY r #~4.- RITA C~ INHALES LUCKY AND Th~N PLACES IT ON LIP OF ASH TRAy. ~TCH DISSOLVE ASH TRAy TO AN ENTIRELY D~FFERENT AND MASCULINE LOOKING ASH TRAy WITH CIGAHETTE IN SAME LIp. BARUCH'S REND CONES IN AND PICKS UP CIGARETTE. PULL BACK TO MEDIUM CLOSEUp OF BARUCH. PICKS UP PACK. ?01NTS TO BULI~EZE. CUT TO EXTREME CU CF PACK FEATURING "IT'S TOASTED". CUT BACK TO MEDIUM SHOT OF BARUCH. OPEN -3- RITA (CENT ,o) Tb~t was an easy move to raake. I like their clean taste and their nice aroma,,. I love them. time. They're my cigarette every SARUCK (V,O.) Rita Ga~,s reason for smoking Lucky Strike is ... (NOW ON CAMEEA) ,.. the same one many millions of other smokers give -- they Like the taste of a Lucky. And here's why a Lucky tastes better. It's right bore on the pack,.."IT'S TOASTED". That's the famous Lucky Strike process that brings Luckies' fine tobacco to its peak of fiavor ... %h~ process that tones up %~,~s mild, ~tur~lly ~ood-tastlnS tobsoco to make it taste even better. That's our story pure and simple. A Lucky tastes better because it's the oISaZ~tte Of fine tobscco and IT'S TOASTED ~o taste better. Cleane~, f ~esh~P, smoother. A]'~01 0935?96
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T~E AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY #84- RITA GAM IN}~LES LUCKY AND T~N PLACES IT ON LIP CF ASH TRAY. MATCH DISSOLVE ASH TRAY TO AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT AND MASCULINE LOOKING ASK TEAY WITH CIGARETTE IN SAME LIP. BARUCH'S RAND COMES IN AND PICKS UP CIGA~TTE. PULL BACK TO MEDIUM CLOSEUp OF BARUCH. PICKS UP PACK. POINTS TO BULLSEyE. CUT TO EXTREME CU OF PACK FEATURING "IT'S TOASTED". CUT BACK TO MEDIUM SHOT OF BARUCH. OPEN -3- RITA (CONT 'D) That was an easy move to make. I llke their clean taste and their nice aroma... They~ my cigarette e~ery BATCH (V.O.) Bit@ GetuPs r~&som fo~ smokln~ I/ulky Strike is ,.. (NOW ON CAMERA) ... the same one many millionB of other smokers ~i~e -- the~ llke the t~ste of a Lucky. And here's why ~ Lucky tastss better. It,s right here on the pack..."IT,S TOASTED". That,s the famous Lucky Strike process that brings Luckles' fine tobacco to its peak of flavor.... the process that tones up this mild, naturally ~ood-tastlng tobacco to make it taste even better. That's OUr story pure and simple. A Lucky tastes better because it,s the cigarette of fine tobacco and IT'S TOAS~ to taste better. C1eaner~ fre~he~, smoother. A]'~01 0335P9?
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THE AMERIOA~ TOBACCO COMPANY DISSOLVE BACK TO RITA GAM ABSORBED IN HER C}~SS GAME. SHE INHALES HER LUCKY WITH A GREAT DEAL OF ENJOYMENT. RITA TAKES AN 0PPOSING PIECE AND PUTS IT DOWN BESIDE HER WITH A SMILE OF SATISFACTION. SNE PUTS IT DOWN ON TABLE WIE~ ONE FLUID MOVEMENT AT BR~ IN SONG. q OPEN -II- DO~o~mz (~ o~{o~s) (WITHOUT INTR0) So to get better taste from your cig-a-rette, Lucky Strike is the b~and to get. It's TOASTED to give you the best taste yet It's the toasted ,.. (OLAP .,. CLAp, CLAP) cigarette J RYH01 0335PgB
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-1- AFTER COmmERCIAL, JACK COMES OUT TO MUSIC & ApplAUSE JACK Thank you, ladies and gentlemen..Welcome to the Luok~ ~trlke program,,.As ~ouk-aow, this is my second television show of the season, add if you saw my first one, you'll notice that tonight I'm much more at ease. It's working up to that first show that really makes you nerVoUS, I mean.,the anticipation, the aDxlety, what will the critics say..what will they write about me?..Well, now that it's over I cad relax. The reviews came in, I read them, I buroed them, now let's forget about them...Of course, some of the reviews were exceptionally good..l ~Ve some of them right here. (he puts On glasses) These are contsct leoses..you hold them right up against the paper like this. That's probably the silliest thing I'll say today. HE TAKES OUT FIVE EEVI~W CI~IPpING~ JACK Here's ode in the Bi~eekly Chronlcal from Storm Center, Iowa...It says..."On JackBenny's first televlsleo show once again this master showman romped his way into the hearts of millions with his hilarious parfor~mnce."...Now here's one i~ the Daily Bugle from U-Turn, Nebraska..It says... '~aek Benny~s first television show that has been long awaited by the citizens of U-Tur~, was welcomed with hearty laughs and much merz'iment. It was a phenomenal suocess."...Kere's one from the New yor~Time8. LOOKS AT IT...THE~ PUTS IT AWAy R T,'~ 0 "1 0335299
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-2-3-4-5- JACK (CO I D) Now here's one from ~hlstler's Bend, Montsns... It ssys... "Jsck Benny through the medium of television csme o rompin' snd s stompin' into Whistler's Bend with a rootin' tootin' hslf hour of rip rosring eutertslnment. Yshoo. " Yshoo must be the name of the editor. Now here's one from the d Chicsgo HerBld Americsn. }~ LOOKS AT IT...MIDDLES ITS CONTENTS TO HIMSELF...GIVES A SILLY LAUGH AND PUTS IT AWAY. JACK And of course, I never llke to influence the critics in shy w8y...Although I will sdmit thet when I sta~te~ in rsdio twenty-three yeers ~go...l wss so szxious for my first show to get good revlews... thst I sent esch critic e doller. And ~fter my show, I must ssy they were reslly nice to me. They not only returned my dolldr,..but they sent m~ breed, canned goods, clothing..oh, so msny things.. Anywsy, isdiss end gentlen~n, we hsve s very fine show tonight. But much as I enjoy doing it for you, I em snxious to get home. You see, tonight I'm hsvlng s jsm session st my house with a lot of friends of mine who plsy musicel instruments. I'm the lesder....You know, when I first thought of s muslcsl csreer, I didn't know which instrument to take up.. but tb be~l~ out my fsther I decided to lesrn to play the violin, you see~ he hsd s combinsti~ teller shop end Gypsy Tee Room~ I used to plsy end mske 8 little extrs money for him. R'I" ~01 0335800
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JACK Oh, Don...Don Wilson. DON WI~ON COMES OUT IN NOT A HAPPY FRAME C~ MIND. (APPLAUSE) -6- & -7- JACK Don, it's time for you to do that co~ercial that ~s were discussing at rehearssl. DON Jack, I've been thinking it over and I feel the same way about it as I did this mottling ...I donlt want to do it, JACK What?...Wh~t did you say? DON Well, I certainly don't want to do it your way.,.and I,m not going to do it. JACK Don, you have a contract with me which says that you're supposed to do the commercial the way I want it done end that's all there is to it. DON Well, I think itrs ridiculous and embarressing. JACK Don, believe me, l've been in ~how b~siD~s for many years and I know a commercial must be unique and different and entertaining. And my way is all of tb~t. Now go get the props. DON Oh, all right. AI*X01 0335801
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-8- JAOK You know, l~dies 8nd gentlemen, I don~t mind a man being stubborn, but to be fat and stubborn, that's a llttle too much. I have more trouble wlth that guy over commerclals. DON COMBS BACK ON CARRYING A JUMP ROPE. DON Okay, Jack, let's do it and get it over with. JACK All right. (CAUS) Take it, boys. THE RHYT~ SECTION C~ BAN VAMPS AND DON SINGS AND JUMPS ROPE IN TIME TO MUSIC. NO~: DURING BELOW COMMERCIAL, DON TRIPS ON ROPE AND JACK MAZES HIM TAKE IT FROM TOP. DON GOES SO FAR, TRIPS AGAIN DON (SINGING) If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky $trlk_ ee Is the bz~nd to get~ IT'S TOASTED to give you the best taste yet, It,s the toasted (CIAP...CIAp, CLAp) Cigarette. They take fine tobacco, it,s ~ tobacco. It's mil__~d tobacco, too. Then IT'S TOAS~D, yes, IT,S TOASTED, because the toasting brings the flavor right tbmough go, to get better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the bz~nd to get: IT'S TOASTED to give you the best taste yet, It's the toasted (CLAP...CLAP, CLAP) Cigarette: THE BAND VAMPS AND DON SKIPS ROPE OFF TI~ STAGE IN (APPLAUSE) AIM01 0335802
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/ _J JACK (CALLS) Don...DOn come out here. DON COMES BACK ON AND TAKES A BOW. JACK You see, DOn..YOU se8. DON Yssh, I guess it wss all ~Ight. JACK The sudlence loved it. You ~ it wss ell rightJ Don, who knows..msybe tonight ASter is Born2...With you, it could be the Big Dipper...~Now remsmber...from now on eny time I 8sk you to do something, you csn teke my wor~ for it thst -- AN USHER WALKS 0UTFROM WINGS A F~4 ~T. USHER Psst...Mr. Benny..Mr. Benny. JACK Excuse n~, Don. JACK WALKS OVER TO T~ WINGS WHERE T[~ USHER IS STANDING. DON KXITS ON OTHER SI~. JACK Wh~t is it? USHER You're wanted on the phone. JACK The phone? Now? JG AT~OI 0335'803
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-i0- USheR you can tske it right here. HE PULLS BACK T}~ WING CURTAIN A LITTLE EEVEALI~ A T~I~PHONE ON A TABLE. JACK Oh, ~bsn~ you. Hello, Hello. ~ CUT TO JACK'S LIVING ROOM. ROCHESTgR IS AT THE PHONE. ROCheSTER Hello, Mr. Benny. This is Rochester JACK Rochester, I'm in the middle of s show, wh~t did you csll for? ROCHESTER Well, I wss thinking about those friends of yours who 8r~ coming over for your jsm session. I was wondering whet you'd like ~ to serve. JACK Gee...I Gon't know. Whst's in the ice box? ROCHESTER (BRAC INE) Well...~e,ve got three hems, two turkeys, s twelve pound prime rib, ~nd ten pounds of Imported csvlsr. JO 8YM01 033580¢
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-ii- JACK ( UNBELIEVABLY ) All tb~t wondorful food in our ice box? ROC~STER Boss, ~e,re on ~ psrty line, let's impress 'em. JACK I~ver mind. Just see that everything is regdy, snd I'll be home st EightI o'clock[ ROC~ STA~R yes, sir. ROCHESTER HANGS UP THE PHONE, THEN STEPS OVER TO THE OTHER Sl~ OF ~ ROOM AND STARTS TO ~ UP A MUSIC STAND. ROCheSTER Hee H~e Heee...Mr. Benny s~re gets excited sbout those jgm sessions. He said he,d be home st eight o'clook...Yep, tbst's whgt he sold... eight o 'clock ROCHESTER LOOKS OVER AT THE GRA~DFAT~SE CLOCK THOUGHTFULLY. THEN HE STEPS OVER TO THE CLOCK WHICH READS "TWENTY TO FIVE". ROCheSTER MOVES THE BIG HAND AROUND AND AROUND...AND JUST AS ND STOPS AT "EIGHT O'CLOCK", THE FRONT DOOR FLIES OF~N AND JACK HURRIES IN. JACK Well, here I sin, Rochester. (LOOKING AT THE CLOCK) My goodness, it's eight o'clock. ~rnere is everybody? JU 8]H01 0335805
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-12- KOC~STER They'll be here, Boss. I'm just getting things ready. JACK 0h~ good, good. I think I ought to go over the viollo rehearsal a bit before they get here. JACK TAKES OUT VIOLIN GIVES A FEW SHARP CADENZAS, THEN BEGINS TO PLAY VERY SOURLY, RO6~ESTER REACTS, THEN WAI~S OVER TO CLOCK AND TURNS CLOCK BACK. Rochester, JACK whet are you doing? ROCF~STER Setting the clock back to 5:40 headache then. - I didn't have a RT B]'XO1 0335806
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./ -13- C ,• y L~ 4, k~ ~AR THE FROI~ DOOR BUZ~ JACK I'll get the door. (SINGING) Hey, you with the smog in ~our eyes. JACK GOES TO THE FRONT DOOR AND OP2N5 IT. TONY Hello, Jse~. JACK Hello, Tony:...come on in. TONY ENTERS CARRYI~} A CLARIneT CA~. there, IT IS TONY MARTIN. TONY (ENTERING) Hello, Rochester. ROCHESTER Hello, Mr. Margin. JACK The rest of the fellows should be here ~ny minute, Tony. Mske yoursseF st b~ra. TONY Thenks. TONY OPENS HIS CLARINET CASE, TAKES OUT THE SECTIONS OF HIS CLARINET AND PUTS TE~M TOGETI~R. JG P~'i" ~01 033580P
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-14- q TONY I sure look forward to these jam sessions. Been practicing all week. JACK So have I, Say, Tony, what make of clsrinet is that? TONY I don't kno~J..but it ,~ust be 8 good one. I've been offered s hundre~ and fifty bucks for it. JACK Is that ell, e hundred on~ fifty ~ollsrs' I've been offered three thousand for my violin. TONY Wait ~ minute, Jack, ~.Pno wo~l~ offer you three thousand dolls~s for o~ violin? ROC}~STKR The whol~ neighborhood chipped In. JACK Roohester --- TONY Jsck, you m~sn when you play your violin People can hear it all over Bevorly Hills? ROC~$TER pert of the monsy came in f~om Anshelm, AzusB, and Cucamongo. JG RT:~O'I 0335808
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JACK Oh, stop. l~hy don't you go out in the ~nd finish msklug the ssndwiches? ROCh~STER Yes, sir. ROCHESTER EXITS. -15- kitchen TONY BLOWS A FEW NOTES ON HIS CLARINET. TONY Hm, my lips 8re kinds dry. ~URING FOILOWI~G CON~ERSATION, TONY STEPS 0V~R TO A CABINET, OPENS THE DOORS AND l'~ SEE T~E COE~ MACHINE. HE IN ~SERTS A COIN IN Th~ SLOT, ~XTRACTS A BO~ OF COKE, 0NENS IT, CLOSES THE CABINET DOORS, THEN GULPS OUT OF THE BOTTLE. TONY ~Y, Jsck, I heven't seen Mary in quite s while. How is she? JACK Oh, fino, fIpJg. She's going to be on one of my television shows pretty soon. TONY That ought to b8 good. (~E HEAR TH~ DOOR B~Z~) JG RT~01 0335809
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-16- JACK Thet must be one of the boys. ( CALLS ) come in. JACK OPENS THE DOOR AND ~ MACMURRAY ENTERS, CAP,RyING A 8AXApHoNE CASE. JACK Hello, Fred. FRED ~Iloo, Jack...Tooy. JACK Get out your instrument, Fred. I've got a new 8rrsugemsnt with 8 greet psrt for ssxsphone. FRED Fine, fine. (I~{ILE TAE~NS OUT HIS SAX) Boy, I thought I,d never get 8wsy from the studio. I hsd to look over ~ picture script. But I don~t think I wont to do it. TONY Vnst,s ths rm~e of it? FEED The Horn Blows st Noon. JACK ( Pmu~m UP) The Horn Blows ~t Noon? • JG RYM01 0335810
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~,,.,, / -17~ FRID yeah. The Warner Brothers ~ant to aee what ~t'll look like in the daytime. JACK Very funny, very funny. FRED I thought so. I ~a8 so busy I didn't have time for lu~ch. FRED GOK5 0V~ TO lARGE CABINET, OPENS DOORS BEVFALING APPLE MACHINE, HE TAKES 0DT MONEY, PUTS IT IN AND RECEIVES APPLE. JACK (EDLOING te A S~ OF ~0SZO) Say, Fred, take e look st this saxaphone psrt and gee whet you think of it. F~ Okay. TB A 1,~01 0335811
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-18- THE FRONT DOOR SUDDENLY OPENS AND DICK POWEIL HURRIES IN, CARRYING HIS INSTRUMENT CASE. TB DICK fellows, am I late? JACK, FRFD, & TONY DICK I would have been here earlier, but I had an accident. TONY No kiddlng..were you ~Jrt? DICK (0PENINGHIS TRUMPET CASE) No no, I ~mped out in the nick of time. FI]'~O 1 0335B 12
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+.,~++ ++. ,* ,~++~+.,~ ................. , in ,+r,l, ,, , , . / S -19 - JACK ~nat happened? D CK M~ Jaguar chased an M.G. up a tree. JACK Everybody has to come lu with a Joke: DICK GOES TO PIANO, GIVES HI~SELF A KEY, BLOWS TRUMFET SOURLY. + DICK Jack, your piano is out of tune. JACK (HOLDING OUT A SHEET OF MUSIC) It is not' Here..you better look your part ove~. DICK Okay, okay.+don't rush me.+you know, l'w been womklng all day long. Let me relax s litZle JACK Okay, okay, DICK GOES TO ANOTHER CABINET, 0PE~S IT REVEALING CIGARETTE MACHINE. HE PUTS COIN IN AND RECEIVES CIGARETTES. ~ TO GROUP. HmR DOOR BUZZm) JACK Colas in -- THE DOOR IS PUS~ 0PE~ BY A BAgS DBUM THAT IS HELD HIGH ESOUGH TO COV~ THE FACE OF ~ CAP~ER WHO IN ADDITION TO T~ PASS DRUM IS LOADED DOWN WITH OTE~ ~IEC~ OF P~CUBSION EQUIPMENT. HE F~IRLY STAGGERS TO THE CENTER OF ~E ROOM, AND, ~ RE LOWERS THE BASS DRUM, WE SEE THAT IT'S ~N DAILEY. TB RIXO 1 0335813
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, l, 'Ill [I l , i .il. : = • ..... . .... f ........ t -~0 - DAN H'ya, fellows. ADLIB Hello, I~n..H'ya boy, otc. JACK (P~IEVING DAN OF SOEE OF TEE TOM TOMS, ETC.) I'll give you a hand. WHILE JACK PIELPS DAN SET UP, TONY STARTS TO NOODLE ON HIS CIARINET, AND DICK BTARTS TO WARM UP HIS LIP WITH HIS TRUMPET. FEI~ Say, Jack -- (STEPPING OVeR TO JACK WITH THE SHEET OF ~BIC JACK GAVE HIM FARLIER) Jack -~ JACK Huh?. A~h~t Is it, Fred? TONY AND DICK STOP NOODLING. I've been looking over this new arrangement you gave me, and I don't see anything in it for mel All I do Is.. (VOCALLY) Da da, d8 de, da de, da de (A LITTLE ~QH~) De de, de de, de de, de de. JACK I know, Fred, but It'll sound great as e background when Tony tskes the solo. TB ,'~ ]" ,'~01 03358,14
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r -21- FRED (T~ BACK) You mean Tony has the solo? TONY I can handle it. FRED Thatrs beside the point. (TO JACK) Last ~eek you ssld that you were going to get s new arrangement and tkat I would have the solo. JACK it Just didn't work out that way, that's all. FReD FRED TAKES OFF HIS SAX, PUTS IT BACK IN ITS CASE, CLOSES IT AND PICKS IT UP. JACK Fred, ~hat are you doing? FRED (POUTING) I'm going home. I'm too big s star to be humiliated like this. (HE sTARTS FOR THE DOOR) JACK Fred -- (TURNING) Tony -- TONY Okay, okay..come on back..you can h~vc the solo if you want it. TB f~T.WO 1 0335815
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-22 - DAN Well, I think the arrangement should be played as it's written. FFd~3 Tony and I can settle this ourselves. TONY ~e ~on't need any advice from a dancer. d FFd~ Gee, thanks, Tony, you're a p~ach. DAN GOES OVER TO DAMP, PLUS PENNY IN CASE AND GUM BALL COMES OUT. DAN Hey, Jsck, ~ got ~ yello~ one. I gst a prize! T~3 ~]~0"] 0335816
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LWE HmR DOOR SUZZm) JACK Come in -- CHKRLIE BAGBy, JOE HOWARD, AND DON RICE ~TER. JACK This is some of our old gang f~om rsdlo. It's Bagby, HOward and Rice• (TO ALL) These fellows are from the orchestrm on my r~dle p~eg~am. ADLIB H'ya fellows. Hi• JACK Cha~lle, where's Frank Remley? I wanted him to play banjo tonight. CHARLIE Remley couldn't make it, Jack. you sec, he lives In Hollywood and you llve in Beverly Hills. JACK Well, what about It? CHARLIE He oan't leave Hollywood without repe~tlng to his parole board• JACK you missed that word parole at ever~ rehearsal. Oh..oh..Well, what are ~e going to do? TB 8r~01 0335817
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~24- 0HaPJ/E Jack. We called snothe~ banjo Don i t ~ oPr~ pleye~. He should be here soon. JACK Oh, Rood, Rood. D~C~C Hey, fell~s, let's not walt any longer. We ought to get stsrted. JACK 0kay, okay. Come on, fellows, everybody in their pleces. (WE HmR THE DOOR BUZZa~) JACK Oh oh, that must be the banjo player now. Come In. TB~ DOOR OF~S A/~D KIRK DOUGKAS ENT~. KIRK H~ys, fellows. JACK Well, Iill be damned. Kirk Douglas. ~ppLAUSE DURING G~EBAL GREETINGS AND BAND SHAKING) JACK Kirk, when you ~e~e over here last week fo~ our bridge gs~e, you didn't meutlon that you played e banjo. KIRK Nobody ssked me. TB F:T ~<0 ! 0335B~8
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-55 - f FRED (NOTICING SOMETHING ON THE BACK OF KIRK13 COAT) Wait a minute. (TO KIRK) The#e's e branch stuck to the back of your coat. FRED TAKES A BRANCH WITH LFA~SS OFF THE BACK OF KIRKIS COAT AND SHOWS IT TO HIMo JACK (TO KIRK) Ho~ did you get that? KIRK On ~ Wa7 down h@re3 some c~az~ J~guar chased ~y M°G. up a tree. JACK LOOKS UNBELIEVABLY AT DICK POWELL. DICK (wIT~ 0L~STRETCm~ ~NDS) Well, what do you want me to do, shoot it? JACK I thought you were kidding. TONY Hey, Kirk, I haven't seen you for a couple of weeks., you've gslned a little Weight, haven'~ you ? KIRK no..I weigh a hondred ann elghty-five..that's my regula~ weight. TB 8]MO 1 0335819
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-26 - TONY You look a hot heavier than that to me. A~e you sure you only weigh a hundred and eighty five? KIRK I think so. KIRK GOE5 OVER TO THE GRANDFAT~ CLOCK, 0PE~S IT, DISCLOSING A WEI~EING MACK[HE. BE INSETS A P~NY..TB~E IS A CLICK AND A CARD COME~ OUT. KIRK ( Pa~DIN~ CARD) There it is, a hundred and eighty-fivej ~ith benjo. TONY Whet's on the other side of the card? KD~K Bowling in the b~sement. JACK We'll get to thdt lste~: WHILE EVERYBODY IS TUNING UP, ROCHESTER ENTERS KITH A TRAY OF SANDWIC}~ AND PLACES IT 0~ THE COFFEE TABLE. .SACK Hey, fellows, if any of you get hungry, there are plenty of saudwiches. (TO RDOHESTER) What kind a~e they, R~cheeter? ROC~T~q Peanut butter and jelly. TB ATe<01 0335820
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TB -27- DAN (TO JACK) Only ,peanut butter and jelly? W~t about all that ham, turkey, pheasant, p~ime ~Ib, and imported oaviar? JACK ~Fnst? DAN I~m on your party llne. JACK 0h...oh. Well, we'll eat the jelly sandwiches, what's the difference? FRED Well~ next t~ wefll go to Tonyls house. JACK All right, all right. (HANDING SHEET OF MUSIC TO KIRK) Here, Kirk, here's your music. KIRK Music? I can't read music. The only thing I can play is "Bye Bye Blues". JACK But we have a special arrangement of Basin Street. KIRK But I don't know Bssln Street. All I can play is Bye Bye Blues. JACK Well fake it. Do som~thing~ KIRK All right.2 .~ ! AT;NO 1 0335821
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-28 - JACK (C0NT 'n) (RAppING HIS ~SlC S~AN~ WI~H All right, come on, fellows...Bas±D Street Blues! 0oe, two, three, four. (MUSICAL NUMBER) (AppLAUSE) DON Jack aod his guest stars will be back iu just a minute, b~t first here's a message from our sponsor, (CUT TO OLOSING COMMERCIAL) RT[NO 1 0335822
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T}~ AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY CLOSE -i- #31 DOROTHY COLLINS - TIME: 1:02 OPEN ON BULLSEYE DOROTHY (MUSIC: (A CAPELLA) ONE BAH INTR0 TO • STANDING IN FRON~ AND TO SCREEN RIGHT OF IT. "IT'S TOASTED SONG") CUT TO DOROTHY, CUT TO MEDIUM SHOT OF DOROTHY ~ BULI~EYE. DOROTHY (SINGING - ON CAMERA ) If you want better taste from your elgzrette Lucky Str~/<e is tbe brend to get~ IT'S TOASTED to give yolk!the best taste yet -- IT'S TOASTED (CLAp ... CLAP, CLAP) cig-a-rette They take fln___ee tobacco ... It's ~ tobacco ... It's mild tobacco, too ... And ITtS TOASTED, yes, IT'S TOASTED ... Because the toasting brings the flavor ~ight through.' So ... to get better taste from your cigarette Lucky Strike is the brand to get' IT'S TOASTED to give you the best taste yet: IT'S THE TOASTED (ClAp ... CLAP, CLAP) cig-~-rette : ~T'~01 0335823
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-- r, T}~ AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY DOROT~ COI~IN~ #51 - TIME: I~02 CLOSE -2- DOROTHY (SPEAKS) Friends, no wonder Luckes taste better. They're made of fine tobacco and -- the famous Lucky Strike process IT'S TOAS~ED -- tenes up Luckles' fine tobacco to make it taste even better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. So ... Be Happy -- Go Lucky.t BrX01 ~33BB2~
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-29 TAG (AFTER CLOSING COM~CIAL JACK COMEB OUT TO MUSIC & AppIAUS~) JACK Thank you very much, ledles ~nd gentlemen, If you think thst wss bs~, how 8baut Stenford yasterdsy. It wss a shsme to pull the curtain down in the middle of thst nu~nber, but I h~G to do it before the co~clol, becsuse I told ell those fellows this wea s benefit. It wss so nice for these fellows to corns over here end give their services thst I went them to co~e out end tsko s bow. Come on o~t~ fellows: (T~EY CO~ OUT AND TAE A BOW TO APPLAUSE) JACK I'd llke to psy you ell 8 compliment. You're the louslest mualclsns, but because they did come over here for nothing... FRED They didn't tell me thst. JACK Well, I'm telling you now, Fred. JG ~[~01 0335825
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-29 k- JACK Now, ledies end gentle~n, forget thst you,re looking st big personslltles... beceuse they csme here 8s musi¢i~ns... And ss you know, they're emsteur musielene,..Now I would like to give e five dollBr prize to the or~ thet you d think wes the best .... DICK you're covering n~, J~ck. JACK • ,.Iill hold my hend over esch one end you eppLe ud. (JACK HOLDS THE FIVE SOILAR BILL OVER EACH HEAD IN TURN AND THE AUDIENCE APPLAUDS...THEN HE HOLDS THE FIVE DOLLARS OVF~R HIS OWN }~AD...T~N POC~TS T~ FIVE DOLLARS. ) JACK Thenk you very much, Ledies end gentlemen...8o long, fellows. (THEY WALK OFF MAD AT JACK) JACK Well, isdies end gentlemen, thet ends snother specteculer, .,Do I h~ve time for one thing? Either in two weeks or four from now we.re going to do our version of the "Csine Mutiny", end our guest stsr is going to be Leo Durocher. In the meentlme, don't forget to wstch Ann Southern next Sundsy...Goo~night. (~SIC) & (APPLAUSE) (OFF2 TO CREDITS) ;~ 1">I01 0335826
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-30- ( CREDITS ) CARD #4 JACK BENNY PROGRAM CARD #5 DIRECTED BY RALPH LEVY CARD #6 PROSJCED BY HILLIARD F~EK8 CARD #7 WRITTEN BY CARD #B MUSIC & SETS ~r R[~01 0335822
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CLOSING CARD #!O CUT TO CARD #11 JACK BENNY PROGRAM S~BTEM CARD -31- DON (VOICE ouR) Remember - one week from tonight, On this same station, Ann Southern returns in "P~ivate Secretary." Jack Benny's next television show will be in two weeks. In the meantime, be sure to listen to J~ck Benny on r~io evemy Sunday night oveT the CBS Radio Network. The Jack Benny program has been brought to you by Lucky Strike, p~oduct of the American Tobacco Company, America's leadlnS manufaoture~ of cigarettes, This is Don Wilson, saying: "BE HAPPY, GO LUCKY'" This is the OBS Television Network. A]'~O'I 0335828
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FIX~M NO. I T~ ~ZCAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STR~E THE JACK BENNY TELEVISION FROG~AM (HOW JACK FOUND MARy) FIIIWJ~: May 28, 195~ ~ROADCAST: Octobe~ 31, I~54 JACK BENNY D0H WILSON MARy LIVINGSTONE ROY GLE~N JOE ~ARNS DAVID SAB~ SHELDON LEONARD BENNY RUBIN FRANK WILCOX I~%RBARA PEpp~ JUDy KELLEY PAULINE DRAKE BEA BENADARET RS "v ~FM01 03358Z~
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-f / OOTOBm~ 31, 1954 OPENING CO~OIAL - TIME: i:30 -I- CUT TO TITLE CARD: "THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM" CUT TO TITLE CARD: "FRESENfED BY LUCKY STRIKE". CUT TO TITLE CARD: "BE HAPPY -- GO LUCKY, LUCKIES TASTE BETT~R". LIVE IMUSIC: LUCKY STRIKETH~ UP AND UND~R ...... ) ANNOUNC~ From Television City in Holl~ood -- The Jack Benny Program Presented by Lucky Strikel (MUSIC: VAMP AND BE HAPPY -- GO LUCKy -- SHORT ~']~{SION) CUT TO ~75 R$ M f-NO~ 0335830
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T}~ AMerICAN TOBACCO COMPANY THE JACK BENNY TV SHOW 0CTOB~q 31, 1954 OPE_ 0P~ ON M~DIUM S}DT OF JIZ~Y HATL0 LOOKING AT NYMSh~F IN HAND MIRROR AT DRAWING TABLE. HATL0 IS INFORMAILX DRESS~ IN SH~RT - SIZI'VES HE TURNS TO TABLE AND M~ffgES A FEW LINES BEGINNING A C~/~T00N. (WE CANNOT SHE THE DRAWING). HE LOOKS IN MIRROR AGAIN ..... DRAWS AGAIN, ETC. THEN ME TURNS TO CAMERA AND WE OUT TO CU. HE SPFAKS AS NN WORKS. CUT TO CLOSEUP OF THE DRAWING HATLO HAS EEEN WORKING ON. THIS SHOWS AN ANGRY CARTOON CHARACT~ (WHO STRONGLY RESL]~BLES HATL0. ) CUT TO HATI~. Cb~ TO A CARTOON CHARACT~ LOOKIN~ SURFRIS~D. THIS CHARACT}lq ALSO ~TRONGLY RESEMBLES HATL0. ) CUT BACK TO FORMER SHOT OF HATLO AS HE PICKS UP A LIGHTED LUCKY. TO HETLO ADDRESS S AME SPEAKING EARNESTLY. H~TLO REACTS SLIGHTLY CASTING HIS EYES TOW~RD SpEAKRR, -2- B NOH (0Vm) Ladies and gentlemen~ the famous ca~toonlst ....... .... creator off LITTLE IODINE and T}[EY'LL DO IT EVERY TIME -- Jimmy Hatlo. {l £L~TLO That's the ~ay I gotta ~ork -- gotta use myself as a model. If I ~anna dra~ someone looking mad ...... I look mad ...... If I ~aDo~ dra~ someooe looking surprised ..... I look surprised. If I ~a~a draw somebody eojoylng a cigarette -- I eojoy a cigarette. A Lucky~ that is. Yep -- I'll do it every time -- light up a Lucky because they taste better. BARUOH (VO) That's the ~easoo people usually give for smoking Luckles Mr. Hatlo, RS RT~O1 033~831
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W ~;j ~ " .~ ~ ;~~ ,F% THE AMFIqIO~/~ TOBACCO COMPANY THE JACK BI~NY TV SHOW OCTOB~ 31, 1954 OPEN CUT T0 TIG~ S~T 0F AHO0~CUR. ANNOUNC}~ HOLDS UP PACK. CUT TO INSBRT: ~XTREME CLOSEUP OF PACK IN ANNOUNCUR'S HAND. HE POINTS TO "LS/~FT" ON BOTTOM. TURNS PACK TO FF~URB "IT'S TOASTED" HA P01NIS TO WORDS. CUT BACK TO TIGHT CLGREDP OF ANNOUNCBR HOLDING PACK CASUALLy IN HIS HAND. BE IS NOT STIFFLY TRYING TO SHOW THE BRAND. HE GESTURES WITH PACK AS }~ TALKS, CUT TO CLOSEUP OF PACK IN LI/4B0. "IT'S TOASTED" ZOOMS UP FROM PACK TO FULL SCRE~ SUPBR, AND "TO TASTE BE~T~qr' POP ON BENEATH "IT'S TOASTHE". -3- BA UCM (CONT,D) (ON CA~A) ..... they taste better. The reasons ~hy are right here on the pack. (VOICE OVa) LSAm~ -- Lucky Strike ~ea~s ~IDe tobacco. Fine, naturally mild, good-tasting tobacco. And then, this fine tobacco is TOASTED ... yes, IT'S TOAST~ to taste better. (ON CAM~) "IT'S TOASTED" -- the famous Lucky Strike process -- brings Luckies, fine tobacco to its peak of flavor .... tones up this light, mild, good-tastlng tobacco to make it taste even better ..... cleeDer, fresher, smoother. That's our story, pu~e and simple. A Lucky tastes better because it's the cigarette of fine tobacco and -- IT'S TOASTED -- to taste better. RS 8[)401 0335832
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T}~ AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY -4- J THE JACK BENNY TV SHOW 0CTOB~R 31, 1954 0PE~ QUICK DISSOLVE TO MEDI724 SHOT OF }IATLO REL~IlNG AND PUFFING ON ILIS LUCKY. HE IS DRAWING AND BOBBING HIS HEAD AND ~¢HISTLING (WE 0ANNOT HEAR THE WHISTLE) IN T~E ~ITH THE SONG. BATLO AT HIS DRAWING - STILL W~ISTLING AND K~EPING TIME. APPRAISES HIS WORK. HATLO TAPS PENCIL IN SYNC. • TH~ WINKS AT GAMMA AND TAKES A BIG FULL ON HIS LUCKY. DOEOTHE COLLINS (& CHORUS) (ovm) So to get better taste from your cigarette! Lucky Strike is the brand to get! IT'S TOASTHD to give you the best taste yet~ ITrS THE TOAST~ -- (CLAP .... CLAP .... CLAP) clg-a-rettel RS -N- Rl-~01 0335833
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,- FILM NO. 1 - ROW J~OK FOU~D MARY) SCENE : -I- EXTC~N OF JACK BENNY,S HOME. (THE ONLY pART I~ECESSARY IS A LARGE SINK WHICH ,IS FILLED WITH SUDS, WATER, AND DIS}~S. ) ROC}~STER IS WASHING THE DIS~S AND HANDING T~EM TO ROY WHO ROCHESTER (H&~DI~G ROY A DISH) It sure is nice of you to come over and help me clean up the house, Ro~. ROY Oh, that's all right, Rochester. Say, it must've been a real big party Mr. Benny had last night. ROC~STER Oh, it was, it was...He invited all his friends. ROY Were his neighbors Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Colmao here? ROCHESTER No. Mr. Benny sent them an invitation, but they couldn't come. They both had pneumonia. ROY Isn't that unusual for both of them to Get pneumonia at the same time? R00~STEN No, they sat out in the rain all night to ~;et it. ROY Oh. (ROY NOW STARTS WIPING SILVERWARE) ROCHESTER Let's not make too much noise with these dishes, Roy. There's ~ reporter in the den interviewing Mr. Benny about his career. RM AYX01 033583~
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-2- ROY Say Rochester, dldnlt Mr, Benny change his nsme when he went into show business? ROCHESTER Yesh. ROY Whet was it before he changed it? ROC~ Let me third...You know, Roy, I csn~t ~emember whet his nsr~ used to be. (ROY HOLD5 UP A KNI~ ~ IS DRYING AND LOOKS AT IT) ROY Was it Conrad Hilton? ROO~STER (~3O~XNG AT m~) Oh, thst...Mr. Benny took that knife as 8 souvenir one nl6ht when he was out to dinner. ROY At one of Mr. Hiltonls hotels? ROCHESTER No, st his house. (T~ PHONE RINGS...ROC}~STER nRY8 HIS HAND~ AND ANSWERS IT. ) ROCHESTER Hello. ,.Mr. Bennyfs residence. MARY r S VOICE Hello, Rochester. May I speek to M~. Benny, please? ROC~STER Yes, Ms'em. I'll call him. (ROC}~STER plf2S DOWN BECEIVER AND STARTS OFF SCENE) RM ~T~01 0335835
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In --3-- (O~ T0 lIEN.. ,JACK AND E~ARNB ARE SITTING [K~4N. EEARh~5 IS WRITING IN H OOK. JACK IS DRESSED IN SLACKS AND A ZIZ-ZAG STHIPED Wore you in eny other Broadway shows, Mr. Benny? JACK No, those were the only two. (ROCHESTER E~S) ROCHESTF2 EXCQSe me, Mr. Benny, Miss Livingstone is on the phone. JACK Thenk you, Roohsster..,Itll tske it in the other room. (TO XE~aNS ) EXOU88 ]{I~9° ,. (TO EDc~s~a) Rochester, brin8 Fro. Keerns som~ coffee. ( JACK GOES OO~f ) (DISSOLVE TO JACK COMING TO PHONE) JACK Hello, Mary, (COT TO MARy Z~ESSED MODERN AND GLAMOROUS AS SHE IS TODAy IN MARY Jack, I've got the biggest sur~rlse in the world for you...Are you doing anything right now? JACK Yes, Mary...a reporter is here interviewing me. Whet's the surprise? M~-~Y Well, Jsck...brsce yourself...this morning I got a brsnd new Cadillso convertible. %- RM 8TXO1 0335836
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,i i RM JACK A brand new --- Mary, that costs ever five dolls~s. MARy That's right. JACK But Mary...how con you afford s car like thst? MARy Well, after ell, Jeck, Itve been working for you for twenty yesrs. JACK I know, thoussnd MARy So lest week I went down to the bank, drew out ell the money I saved, bought a reffle ticket and won the car. JACK Well, congretulations. MARy And Jack, it's fully equtpped...rsdto, heste~, end everythlng...The only thing I have to buy for it is s spsre tire. JACK Msry...you mean the car didn't cen~ with e spare tire? No. ~CK Well, of ~ll t~ nerve.,.that's ~ful. AI~01 033583?
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2 M&~Y Whst do you w8nt me to do, go get my dollsr bsck? JACK No, but next time you buy 8 rsffle ticket, 1~esd it Carefully, that wsy you won't get stuck. MARy 0ka~...I'm so s~ixlous to t~y out my csr I'm going to hsng up now.. ~Goodbye. JACK Goodbye, Ma~o (JACK HANGS UP AND WAIES OFF SCEt~) (GU~ TO DEN. EE~NS IS HAVING S)l~ COFFEE. JACK ENTERS) JACK I'm sorry for the interrupter on, M~. Kes~ns. EEARNS (WIPING HIS MOUTH WITH ~% NAPKIN) Thst~s quite all right. JACK (SITTING DOWN) Now let ' s see...where were we~ (KEARN8 IS STARING AT HIS NAPKIN AND ~SN.T ANSWER) JACK Mr • KOSP~IS. ,. KEARNS Oh, Irm sorry, Mr. Hilton -- I r~n, Mr. Bemly. RM ~ ~. ~÷ ~1"~01 0335838
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-6- JACK Oh... oh...Well, where were we? KE~RNS Well, Mr. Benny, I think that while the sun is nice and bright, would you mind if we ~tepped out in your bsck yard so I could get a few pictures of you around your pool? JACK ~ A few pictures? NO no, net at all. (EEARNS PICKS UP HIS CAMERA OFF THE TABLE AND HE Am JACK START TOWARD THE DOOR) kEAENS Mr, Benny, by the way, that's a beautiful shirt you're wearing. JACE Oh, th~r,k you, it is nlee...it was guaranteed, too. (THEY EXIT. ROC~STER E~[fERS, FOLLDWED BY ROY. ROCHESTER PICKS UP THE TRAy OF COFFEE, THEN NOTICES JACK'S VIOLIN WHICH IS ON ROC~STER 0h-oh, Mr. Benny forget to put his violin away... 8~d he heros when dust gets On it. ROY Well, 2oehester...sh811 I dust it? ROCHESTER Well...I don't know..do you think you might drop it? ROY Of oourse not. RM RTH01 0335839
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I -7- ROCBESTER (PUTTING DOWN TRAy) Then let me dust it. ROY Rochester, msybe Mr. Benny doesn't play so good, but you shouldnlt take it out on hls violin. It might be e very valuable one..It could be a Stradlvarius d or Guanarlus...Do you know what kind it is? ROCF~STKR No.. ,How con you tell? ROY Well, the maker's name is 81wsys on the inside of the violin. (~ PICKS IT UP AND INDICATES THE F~ET HOLES) You can see it by looking through the holes. (ROy WAL~, OVER TO T~E WINDOW, pUI~ UP T~ $~ $0 THE~RE 18 MORE LIGHT, I~EN HOLD8 UP THE VIOLIN 80 THE LIG~ FALLS INTO THE HOLES TI~ HE SEES $O~,'~T~ING,, ) ROY Let me see...Yep, there it is. ROCHESTER What does it say? Th__%e .. ~ o&~X~. (WE I~E.~ T~ DO&R BUZZER) RM 20Y ROY I'Ii take the tray, Rochester. AT ~01 0335840
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-8- ROCHE~TER Thenks, ROy. (ROy TAKES THE TRAy OUT TO T}~ KITCHEN AND ROCHES~/I GOES TO TiLl DOOR. D_ON AND TEE SpORTS~N @U~/~TET COME IN) R OC}ZST~B Oh hello, M~. Wilson, hello, fellows. DON Hello, Rochester. ROCHESTER Ml,. Benny is out in the back ysmd..I'll get him fop F0U. DON No, no, Rcoheste~..°we dldnlt went to see him..we we~te~ to see yoD, ROCKEBTF~ Me ? DON Yes. You see, Rochester, the Sportsman end I worked out 8 greet nu~be~, but we need an extr8 voice. You ten sing, can't you? ROCHESTER An~thlng but soprano. DON Well, here's the music. (HANDING ROC}~STER A SHEET OF MUSIC) Is this too hard for yo~? RM RTN01 0335841
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-9- ROCHESTER L~tT~ see.,, (SCANS THE MUSIC BRIEFLY, THEN SAYS) Yesh, I think I can handle thls..csn we try it out? (ROCH AND T~ SpORTSF~N DO "OH BABY MINE" COMMERCIAL...EITHER IN T~E ENTRy HALL OR ON THE FRONE pORCH. IN ADDITION TO HIS SINGING, ROCHESTER WILL AIS0 DANCE A FEW STEPS. ) [A~ T~ NDMBER, DON AND THE SpORTS~N GO 0b~, ROCHESTER ~EAVES T~ DEN AND JACK AND EEARNS CONE ~ACK IN. ) JACK I hope those pictures turn out nice. E~ARNS I'm sure the~ will...Seyj Mr. Benny, I just thought of somethir~g thet I'm sure would be very interesting to m~ re8deP8. JACK Whst's that, Mr, Kearns? KEARNS I thought of it when you were on the phone with Miss Livlngstone...Shets been with you so many yesrs thst I " think my roaders would llke to ~ow how you first discovered her. JACK How I discovered Miss Livingstone?...Well, sit down, Mr, Kearns, and Itll tell you. (T~Y BOTH SIT DOWN) HM ATe01 0335B42
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-10- JACK Let's see, it was back in the thirties .... in the fall of 1932 ..... I had just started in radio ~yself ..... One day I ~as out ~alking ..... ~DISSOLVE TO ENYRANCE TO MAy COMPANY. ~E SE~ A CORNER WINDOW OF HE 91Ay COMPA~ IN IT. THE YEAR IS 1932 SO THE MEN AND WOMEN ARE DRESS]~D ACCORDINGLY. AGAINST THE STORE IS A NEWS STAND COMPL%TH WITH MAGAZINES, NEWSPAPERS, ETC. IN FRON# OF THIS, HAWKING HIS WARES, IS A TEN OR E~ YEAR OLD N~SNDY. ) KID Here y'are....Read all about tl. Election campaign red hot. Here Y'are. (A WOMAN STOPS, BUYS A NEWSPAPI'~, G~VES THE BOy A COIN, HE GIVES H~ A NEWSPAP~ AND SOME CHANGE, AND GOES BACK TO HIS YELLING) KID Read all about the ,election....The Literary Digest predicts Herbert Hoover victory. (HE PROFFHES }{IS PAPER AT THE PEOPLE PASSING BY. A MAN BD"/S A PAP~, AND AS THE KID IS MAKING CHANGE, JACK BENNY COMES ON S C~NE TURNING THE OORN~ INTO CAM~ RANGE. JACK IS DRESSED IN THE ~ZRIOD OF THE EARLY TF/RTIES, NOT TOO EXTREME OR RIDICULOUS. THE ONLY THYNG THAT REAI/X MIG~ BE T~ FUNNY IS A STRAW HAT HE'S WEARING WITH A LOUD S~fRIPND BAND. AS HE ~I~S, HE WALKS AROUND THE UNSEEING NE~SOy AND WALKS PAST THE NEWS STAND VEry CLOSE TO IT. AS BE PASSES T}~ STAND, HE gLOWS DOWN HIs WALKING TO A CRAWL 2~D CRANES AND COCKS HIS HEAD AT A RIDICULOUS ANGLE AS HE TRIES TO READ SO~ OF THE PAPHES ON THE ST~/~D. THE NEWSBOY HAS NOW SOLD TBE LAST PAP~ iN HIS HANDS AND TURNS TO THE STAND TO G~T A FRESH BATCH. HE SPOTS JACK RECOGNIZ~EB HIM. JACK ATTEMPTS TO REf~ PAPER THAT KID IS HOLDINg. JUST AS HE IS ABOUT TO SUCCE~, KID SELLS THE PAP~ TO MAN. JACK REACTS. ) KID (WITH OlSGUST) Look, Mister, ~hy don't you buy a paper? JACK RS ~I~01 0335843
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-ll- (JACK WALKS AWAY FROM THE NEWS STA~ TOWARDS THE STORE DOOR, MUMBLING TO ]~EL~. ) Smart Aleck kid. (JACK LOOKS INSIDE THE WINDOW. OF MENS WEAR. IN THE OENT~ IS "THE SH~r"~S IS THE SAME SHIRT JACK WORE IN THE FINST SC~E WHEN HE TALKED TO THE REPORT~. WE SHOW A CLOSE-UP OF THE SHI~T...IT IS A ZIGZAG STRIPED ONE,. TIfl~RE IS A LITTLE GN SAYING "SPECIAL SALE . FOPMERLy $4.98. NOW $1.99~" AND A LITTLE SIGN SAYING GUARANTY.r) JACK Say, that's really a bargain..Guaranteed, too...I think I,ll go in and let them try to sell me one. (JACK STARTS TOWARD THE DOOR. LEAN][NG AGAINST THE WINDOW NF~Aq THE DOOR IS SHELDON IZONAED. ~I~ IS DRESSED AS A TYPICAL RACE TRACK TOUT. HE IS R~ ~ P~, AND A CLOSE-UP SHOWS IT TO BE THE RACING FORM. HE MIG}~ ~,VE BINOCULARS AROUND----~NECK, AND ANY 0TH~ PARAPHANALIA TO IDENTIFY HIM IglTH THE RACE TRACK. ) SHELDON (TO JACK AS HE PASSES) Hey, Bub...Bud, JACK lluh? SI~LDON Got a match? JACK Yes, yes, I have. JAOK WE SEE A CLOSE-UP OF THE VARIOUS IT~4S (JACK TAKES A M~OHFROMBIS POCKET AND LIGI~S SHELDON'S CIGARETTE. SHELDON Than~s. (JACK ENTEnS THE STORE) RS ~T~01 03358&4
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-12- (CUT TO A CR0~ED DEP/~TMENT STORE, MAYBE INSET PROCESS SHOT OF AL~ DEP~I~TMFAT STORE. W~ HEAR USUAL DEpARTMEN/ STORE NOISES AND CHIMES, WHICH ARE REPEATED ~ JACK WALKS FROM P~i/DE TO PLACE STO . ) JACK (SINGING AS ~ ENTERS THE SrOEE) Just a gigolo, evez, ywhe~e I go, People know the part I'm playing. Boo boo boo boo boo ,, boo boo boo boo boo .... d .... That ne~ singer has a nice style, but he can't last...l wonder ~here the shirt departmeot is. (JACK SPOTS A SEMI-CIRCULAR BOOT}{, WAIST HIGH. ON THE ~RON~ OF WHICH IS PBYN2ED "INFO~MATIOE". ,~TANDZNG BEP~I~D T~I[S COUNT~, FACING JACK, IS BENNY RUBIN. JACK GOES GVE~ TO HIM.) JACK I beE ~our pardon, but I sa~ a shirt in the wlndca~ that Z llke...A~e they holding the shirt sale on this floo~? RUBIN I don,t kno~. JACK Well, ~here is the shirt department? ROBIN I don~t kno~. JACK Well, thls store Is having a shl~t sale, isn't it? ROBIN I don~t know. JACK Oh, for heavens sakes, if you don't kno~ anTthln~, ~hat a~e you dOlCE behlnd that Information desk? RS FITHO 1 0335845
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-13- RUBIN I had to get behind somethlng, I tore my pants. JACK 0h..oh..~ell, I'll find it mFself. I ~onder ~here -- (HE TURNS AND SPOTS A SIGN THAT SAYS "SHIRT &ALE - 5TH FLOOR") JACK Oh, it's on the fifth floor. (IJACK WALKS T0WAP~ THE ELEVATORS. ON THE WAY }~ PASSES A COUNT~ WITH 932 STYLE RADIOS ON IT AND A SIGN THAT SAYS: "BE THE ENVY OF yOUR h~IG~0RNDOD, BUY A RADIO. t,) JACK (LOOKING AT COU~R) Gee, I hope my redio p~ogram is a big success and lasts t~o or three year8. (JACK WALKS OFF SCENE) (DISSOLVE TO ELEVATORS...THERE ARE FOUR OR FIVE OF THEM IN A ROW.) (JACK STARTS WALING TOWARDS THE FOURTH ELEVATOR WHICH IS AT THE CORNER OF A WALL. LEANING AGAINST ~HIS CORNEq, READING HIS RACING FORM IS SI~LDON LEONARD. AS JACK APPROACHES, HE LOk~S HIS RACING FORM AND SHES JACK. ) SHELDON Hey Bud....Bud,.. JACK Huh? oh, It's you agat~? SHEIDON yeah, come here a mlnute. (JACK W~ OVeR TO HI~I.) JACK What do you ~ant? RS RTN01 0335846
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-14- (SHFS~DON LOOKS 0~I~ BOTH SHOKU_D~ AS THOUGH ~}~,S ~FEAID THE COPS ~/TE COMING...TI~ HE MOTIONS WITH HI8 HEAD) SHELDON Come here• ~SHELDON GOES A L~TTLE FART~ AND JACK FOLLOWS ~. SRELDON STOPS ND AGAIN LOOKS OV~ HIS SHOULD~q) SHELDON Where are you going? ~AOK Upstairs. SHELDON What elevator are you taking? JACK Nu~be~ four. SHELDON • .Uh-oh. J$:CK What? SHELDON Take NumbeP Three. JACK Why number Three? SIIELDON It'll beat four to the top by two aod a half floors. (A FAT GIRL GETS ON NU~ FOUR ELEVATOR) DM £~T)~O 1 033S84P
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W JACK But Numbe~ Four is about to go up. SHELDON I kno~, but It's carrying too much ~elght. JACK Oh...well, gee, •don,t ~now .... ~hat do you think about Number One? SHELDON Good post position but Itrs a local, can't go the dlstance, JACK H~...~h~t about number two? s zooN JACK SIo~ starteD, Well, look..all I ~ant to do is buy a shirt.. I~m going to take Number Four. SHELDON 0kay, it's your dough. .i DH RTN01 033584-6"
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~ .i ! 11,,¸ i ir~'i ~ i F- -16- JAOK Thank you. (JACK WALKS INTO THE ~UMBER FOUR EI~ATOR, THE DOORS CLOSE,) (DISSOLVE TO COUh~ER WHERE THE SH~RT SALE IS. TRERE IS A CLEBK TAKING CARE OF CUSTOMERS...JACK COM~ TO THE SHIRT COUNTER AND LOOKS AT THE SHIRTS FOR A FEW SECONDS W}~N THE CLERK COMES TO WAIT o~.) CI~RK May I hel9 you, slr? d JACK Yes, I'd llke to buy a shlrt...thls one right here. (JAOK INDICATZ~ THE SAME SHIRT ~E SAW ~N TR~ WINDOW) CLERK A very wlse selection, sir. This shirt is not only smart looking, but it's gual, anteed, What slze do you wea~? JACK Size?...Gee...It,s been quite a while since I bought shirts and I've forgotten. CL~ %~ell, that.s easy to find out ... the size is always marked on the inside of the colla~...Turn around, please. JACK HUh?...Oh, all right. IJACK TURNS AROUND AND HAS HIS HACK TO THE COUNTER UP AGAINST • c®NTER HE ANDoN O'VU~R THE COUNTER, cND~ s~oRTLY A"~$2~2~^~ A~O CAUSING ~ tO ~o TUHES TO F~CE }n~T.') ............. u~DS T~ C~ REHE~E~ JACK, CLERK You wear a slze flfteen...And ~ notice by the maaufactu~r,s label you,re had this shirt a lon~ time. MG
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-17- JACK Manufacturer? CLERK Yes, it was made by Hal, t, Shaffner and Geronimo. JACK Yes. Later Geronimo went in business by himself, he made Arrow Shirts... (DOES SILLy LAUGH) CLERK (PICKING UP SHIRT A~D FJTTING IT IN BAG) This is your size, sir. That will be a dollar nlnety-nlne. IJACK TAKES OUT HIS WALLE~, AND ~ OUT TWO BILLS ~ICH BE JACK Here you are, clerk, two dollars. (TBE CLERK TAKES THE BILLS FROM JACK AND WRITES OUT A SALES SLIP) CLERK (AS HE WRITES) A dollar ninety-nlne out of two. (HE FJTS MONEY IN VACUUM TUBE) CLERK (TO JACK} It will take a few minutes to get your change. JACK I'll wait. ITHE CLERK GOES TO WAIT ON ANOTH}~ CUSTOMER. JACK LEANS AGAINST HE COUNTER AND LOOKS AROUND T}~ STORE. ) MG ~TN01 0335850
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"V -18- JACK (SINGING AS ~ WAITS) Just a gigolo, everywhere I go. People know the part I'm playing. ~AS ~E IS SINGING, HIS FACE LI~S UP AS ~ SPIES S0~HING OFF CENE) JACK Gee, that's e nice-looklng gi~l behind the hosiery counter...What a chicken. After I Eet my change, I,ii go oven and try to date her up. ~JACK C0~INUES TO STARE AT ~R AS T~ SHOT DISSOLVES TO TI~ SIERY COUNTER. MARY IS AT THE COUNTER S G ~. A~r~HE NEXT C~R (LINGERIE) WE SEE SALLy. SALLY COMES OVeR TO MARY. ) SALLY Gee, Mary. I sure wish this day was over. MARY (STOPPING WHAT SPY'S DOING) Yeah. Star~ing up eight hours is murder. SALLY When I ~et home at night, my feet are all swelled up. ~t~RY Mine, too. SALLY I wish I were a secretary, or a stenographer so I could sit down all day. MARY I'd rather have big feet. MG ATe01 0335851
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-19- ~RY RESUMES STRAIGHTENING OUT ~ COUNTER AS SALLY LEANS 0W ON IT TO RELAX. SALLY SUDDENLY NOTICES SC~LTHING OFF SCENE. ) SALLY Say, Mary ... MARy What is it, Sally? SALLy Look at that guy over there...he's trying to attract your attention. (MARY LOOKS OVER AT JACK) COUETER (CUT TO JACK WHO IS LEANING WITH HIS BACK ON T~ SHIRT HR~VF~R AT MARy... FUSHES HIS BAT FROM THE BACK S0 THAT IT RESTS AT A JAUNTY ANGLE AND GIV~ MARY A BIG GRIN) (CUT BACI~ TO MARy AND SALLY) SALLY Say, he looks kind of prosperous, doesn,t he? MARY How can you tell...with those bell bottom pants, he could be barefoot. (A~T~ THE AUDIENCE LAUGH...MARY LAUGHS) SALLY What are you laughing at? MARY Get a load off the straw hat he'a wearing. SALLY Gee, look what he,s doing now...he,s really talented. MARY Oh, Sally, you say that about every guy ~ho can wiggle his ears. MG ATHO~ 0335852
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-20- SALLY Yeah, but look at him--one at a time~ Well, he certainly -- i~ THIS POINT AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN COM~ ON SC~E, ~L-DRESSED CONSerVATIVE LOOKING. i~lAl~ NOTICES HER AND ~OES OVER TO WAlT ON ~.) MARY Yes, Ma, am, may I help you? WC~N I hope so. I'm looking for some extra strong silk Btockings. MARy Extra strong? WOOLEN Yes, you see, I'm on the stage, and it's quite embarrassing if a stocking develops a run during a performance. (MARY PICKS UP SOME STOCEINGS OFF THE COU~TER AND HANDS TH~4 TO THE WOMAN. ) MARy This is ~ new three t~a~ead that's supposed to be extremely strong. WOMAN Let me see... (LoTHE WOMAN T~ES THE STOCKINGS, HOLDS T}~ UP TO T}~ LIGHT TO 0K AT TH~. S~ TUGS ON TH~ A COUPLE OF TIMES TO TEST THEIR STRENGTH. AS SHE IS DOING THIS, A STRAW HAT SKIMS INTO T~ SCENE OVER TIM WOMAN AND MARy'S HEAD, CIRCLES AROUND THeM SPINNING LIEE B0~MEHANG AND SPINS OUT OF SCENE. ) MG ~I"~01 0335B53
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21 : WOMAN ( STA~n~m ) What was that? . MARY Nothing, someone's trying to attract my attention. (CUT TO JACK AS HE CATCHES HIS HAT AND TAKES A BIG BOW. ) (CUT BACK TO LIN~RIE COUN~,ER) WOMAN Do you mind if I try these stockings on? MARY Well, it's not customary, but it,s all right. There's a dressing room right back there. WOMAN Thank you. (WOMAN STEPS OFF SCENE. ) SALLY (LOOEXNG OFF IN JACK'S DIRECTION) Mary, don,t look now but that guy is coming over here. MARy Oh, no~ SALLY Do you want me to take him? MARY No, I can handle him. (THEY CONTINUE TO STARE OFF SCENE...WE DON,T S~ JACK YET, WE HEAR HIS VOICE AS HE APPROACHES. ) BUT RlX01 033S8~4
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JACK (SINGING) Just a gigolo, everywhere I go, People know the part Irm playing. MARY Look, he's walking like Theda Ba~a. (JACK COMES INT0 TA~ SCENE A~D APPROACHES MARYrS COUNfER. STILL SINGING) JACK (SINGING) Paid for every dance, selling each romance -- Hello, Klddo, where have you been all my llfe? MARY Avoiding it. JACK Hey, you,re good. I llke my tomatoes with a -22- little spice...Ha ha ha...Say, baby, MARY Mary. Ma~y, what? }~ IS what~ s your name. JACK Quite contrary? (SILLY LAUGH) (MARY BHOOTS AN ANGUIS~ID~K AT SALLY) JACK Come on, you beautiful doll...what,s your full name? MARY Look, Mister, my name is Mary Livingstone, I was born in plainfield, New Jersey...I know I should be in pictures but I,m happy here at the May Company where they think I,m such a good salesgirl that they just promoted me from pots and pans to hosiery, and I have an excellent future here, now what do Fou want[ 8 ]" 2WO "I 0335855
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JACK Wait a minute, wait a minute, take it easy, Baby...You got me wrong. (ONE SHOT OF MARY, FZ4CLUDING JACK) MARY Oh, stop. wiggling your ears. JACK Look, Ma~y, I1m not trylng to get fresh. I ll~e you... (THE WOMAN WHD TR~ED ON THE STOCKINGS WA//(S UP, CL]~S UP ON THE COUNTER A~ DOES A SPECTAC57~AR LEAp Wl~ SPLITS ONTO TRE FLOOR. SHE GETS UP) WOMAN l"ll take these...they~re fine: (THE WOMAN WALKS OFF SCENE AND MARY, JACK AND SALLy STARE ~ HER) JACK Say, you sume get some strange customers around here, don,t you? SALLy 0h, you,re just self-consclous. (SALLY WALXS OFF SCENE) JACK What,s the matter wlth heP?...Anyway, Mary, llm not trylng to be fresh...I really llke you. And loo~ if I wait around till you get through, can I tame you home? MARY No, I don't thln~ so. BB A] )~O1 0335856
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y~ JACK Oh, why not? I've got a taxi outside. ~t~RY Mister, I went out with a taxi driver once and I~m not going to-- JACK I1m not a taxi driver..., ~look, Baby, don't F~bu know who I am? MARY No, thrill me. JACK Well, han~ onto your counter, baby, because I'm ~ to...I'm Jack Benny. ! MARY Well, wb~t do you know. (TURNS TO S~Y ~ IS AT HER own Hey, Sally, hers Jack Benny. (SALLy AT HER COUNTER NOW TURNS AROUND AND YELLS TO THE GIRL AT THE COUNT~R NEXT TO HE~S) SAILy HEY, JUDY~ HE'S JACK BENNY. J[~Y (TURNS ~ YF~ TO THE G]~L AT THE COU~I~R NEXT TO HERS) I~EYs PEGGY~ HE'S JACK BENNY. PEGGY WHO ' S JACK BENNY? BB ATNO'I 033585?
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~4 2¸ -25- i JUDy I dontt know... mo SALLY) Who's Jack Benny? SALLy I donlt know .... Whots Jack Benny? MARy I don't know, ask him. (DDICAT O JA ) JAOK AW, youlre kiddlr~g, Mary..You know who I am...l,ve been on the radio three months. You ought to go out with me. MARy I,ve got a l~ that,s been on the radio three ~ and I don't go out with that, either. JA0][ Your l~p...Say...ha, ha, ha...you're plenty fast on the trlgger...What ere you doing working here in a department store? ...I could get you on the radio. MARY (TO SALLY) %Chat did I tell you, Sally, I knew it Was COming° BB ~TMO~ 032515~
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r -'26- JACK What? My mother told me there,d be men llke you, but I thought they'd be much younger. JACK Much young--- Say, you,re terrlflc... But look, Mary, I~m serious. . .you ought to be on the radio w~th me. SALLY You know, Mister..when I saw you sall your straw hst, I knew you were in show buslness. JACK Oh, thetis something ~ used to do in Vaudeville.. Look, I'll show you a~aln. (JACK NOW REMOVES HIS STRAW HAT AND SAILS IT OUT OF CAMERA RANGE ..HIS HEAD WATC}~S IT AS THOUGH ITtB MAKING A CIRCLe, AND THEN HE PLUS UP HIS HA~ AND CATCHES IT AS IT SAILS BACK ~T0 T~ 5aENE. ) SALLY Gosh, thatls wonderful. JACI~ Aw, that,s nothin~..watch thi~...thls time Itll really s~il It, (~ TASTES T}~ HAND WITH THE HAT WAY BACK A~ND REALLY THROWS IT HARD AI~D IT SAIIS OUT OF CAMERA RANGE. SALLy WATCHES IT OFF SCENE, BUT THEN SHE TURNS TO JACK) SALLY I can,t see it any mo~e..Where dld It ~o? BB A~H01 0335859
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------ -- ..... ~,i,~ i q I I .27. JACK DonTt worry, it will come back. (HE NOW TAI(ES A PAUSE, TKEN SUDDENLy REACHES UP IN TKE A~R FOR THE HETURNING }~T. HE CATCHES THE HAT, BUT IT'S A I~ERBy. JACK, MARy, AND ~AILy REACT AS T}~K LOOK AT IT.) JACK Gee, this I don~t understand at all~ SALLy Mary, Why donlt you make a date and go out with him..he seems like a lot of fun, JACK (~O~C) Y~s, yes~ he does. Well... JACK Ilm serious, Mary..why donlt you Join up with me? ..l~ll get you places... you.ll be a big star. MARy 8ay..yeu~re not klddlng, are you? JACK Of course not..Why don~t you meet me for dlnner tonight and we.ll talk things over. MARY Well, all rlght...You know, the~els a nice cmfeteria acros~ the stree~ and we can -- BB A1:401 0335860
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JACK Cafeterla...not tonight, baby...You,re going out with Jac__~ ~n_~. SALLy ( mNn o NEXT COON R) Hey, Judy, whore Jack Benny? J~DY I donlt know..HEY PEGGY, WHO.S -- JACK (MAD) N~VER MIND:...Now Ioo~, Ma~y, tonight yourre going out with me.ja star...and weIll start wlth dinner at the Brown Derby, and afterwards we.ll ~o dancing at the Cocoanut Grove, and then we.ll go to a couple of swanky clubs on the Sunset Strip. When you're out with me, baby, money means nothlng...Why, 1111 take you to -- (TOWARDS T~ END OF JACKTS S~CH, T~ SALES CLERK WH0 SOLD JACK HIS SHIRT CONES ON A~ I~I~RRU~TS JACK) CLERK Pardon me, Mister, herets your penny change. JACK (TAKES PENNY) Thank you, why Mary, 1,11 take you anyplace you wan~ to go. BB . ,r ~]'N01 0335861
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-e9- MARY All rfsht..I111 meet you in front of the store tonight at six oIcleok. JACK Okay, baby, fill be waltins for you. (JACK PUTS ON DERBY AND WAI/~S AWAY) JACK d (WALKING jAUNTiLy AND S~GING) Just a SIsolo, everywhere I go, People know the part ITm playing. (HE DOES HIS LITTLE HOPPING KICK AND -- (WE DISSOLVE TO THE P~SENT...THE SCENE IS 0NOE AGAIN THE ROOM IN WHI~ IS SNTEHV~ING JACK. THEY ABE BOTH SEATED AS THEY WERE W}~N JACK STARTED TO TELL THE STORY, AND T~ MAN IS WELTING NOTES IN A NOTEB00K.) JACK And that, Mr. Kearns, Is the story of how I found Mary Livingstone. KEARNS It's very interesting, Mr. Benny, and I.m sure our readers will enjoy it. (GETTING UP TO GO) Well, fill be solns.~.I don.t want to take any more of your time. JACK Oh, thztls quite all right, Is11 walk to the door with you. BB I~ T .~0 1 0335862
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EF~S (AS TREY WAI~ TO THE DOOR) Mr. Benny...your butler took my hat, JACK Oh. (CA S) Rooheste~, b~Ing M~. Kearns hls hat, please • ROC~S~ t $ VOICE yes~ Silo You know, Mr. Benny...llll bet Miss Livingstone ls vez~y grateful to you, M~. Benny. JACK Yes, she Is..afte~ all, why shouldnlt she be? When I flrst found he~, she was Just a sales~Irl.,~and today she,s drlvlng a brand new Cadillac. (ROCHE8~ WALKS IN AND EA~D8 MR. ~2~RNS HIS HAT) ROGHES~ Herels your hat, s~. EEAHES Thank you• (JACK STARES AT THE HAT THAT ROCHESTER HANDS EEARNS.. IT IS OBVIOUSLY THE SAME STRAW HAT THAT JACK WORE IN THE STORE. ) ~ BB ~T%01 0335863
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JACK MY. Kearns..Mr. Kearns..~here dld you set that hat? KEARNS I was in the store that day, too, I was wearing a derby. JACK Well, I~ll be darned...Walt a mlnute. (JACK GOES TO THE CLOSET, TAKES OUT THE DERBy, GIVES IT TO KEARNS WHO GIVES JACK HIS STRAW HAT AND T~Y SMILINGLY SHAKE HA~S GOODBYE AS THE SCENE ENDS. ) BB ~T~01 0335B6~
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c, T~ AM~RICAN TOBACCO COMPANY T~ JACK BENNY TV SHOW OCTOBER 31, 1954 CLOSE 0PE~ 0R BULLSEYE, DOROTHY STA~ING IN FRORT AND TO SCREE~ RIGHT OF IT. CUT TO DOROTHY CUT TO MEDIUM SHC~ OF DOROTHY NFAR BULLSEYE (MUSIC: (A CAPPELIA) ONE BAR INTR0 TO rIIT'8 TOASTED SONGr') DOROTHY (SIRGIN~ - ON CA~RA) If you want bctter taste from your cigarette Lucky Strike is the brand to get! IT'S TOASTED to give you the best taste yet -- ITIS THE TOASTED (CLAP ... CIAP, CIAp) olg-a-rettsl They take floe tobacco ... It's li~tobacoo ... It's mil_~d tobacco, too .... And IT'S TCAS~, yes IT'S TOASTED ... Because the toasting brings the flavor right through! So ... to get better taste from your elga~ettel Lucky Strlke is the brand to get~ BA AI'~401 0335865
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f T~ AMERICAN TOBACCO OOMPANY THE JACK BENNY TV SHOW 0CTOBEN 31, 1954 CLOSE -33- DOROTHY (CONTD) IT'S TOASTED to give you the best taste yet~ IT'S T}~ TCASTED (CIAP ... CIAP, CLAP) olg-a-~ette~ DOROTHY (SPm~S) Friends, no wonder Luckles taste better. They're made of fine tobacco and -- the famous Lucky Strike process IT'S TOASTED -- tones up Luckies' fine tobacco to make it taste even better. Clean,r, f~eshe~, smoother. So... Be Happy -- Go Luck~L! BA AT~O1 0S35866
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~r -~4 - (TAO) (AFTER COMMERICAL, JACK AND MARY COME OUT TO MUSIC & APPLAUSE) JACK Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Mary, how did you li~e being on the television show tonight? M~2Y It was a lot of f~. JACK Wasn't that a cute story about how I found you at the MBy Co.? MARY Well, Jack, it was true. JACK Yeah, and I don't want to brag, but you're doing pretty well now, aren~ t you? MAEY Well .... JACK No fooling, Mary, it was a lucl~y break for you when I walked into the May Co. to buy that shirt for $1.99. MARY Remember when you were talking to me and the clerk came over and gave you your penny change. JACK Yeah. BA ~TH01 033586?
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-35- MARY Did you know that there ~as something peculiar about that penny? JACK There was. HE TAKES PENNY OUT OF HIS POCKET AND L00105 AT IT. It looks all right to me. (TO AUDIENCE) I kmew he'd still have it. SHE EXITS TO APPLAUSE. JACK I just kept it as a souvenir, Good night, folks, see you in two weeks, and don't forget, next week Ann Sothe~. HE EXITS TO APPLAUSE & MUSIC (OUT TO CREDITS) BA RI'~401 0335868
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-36- (CRY)ITS) CARD #~ JACK B~NY PROGRAM CARD #5 DIRECTED BY RALPH LEVY CARD #6 PRODUCED BY HILLIARD ~AREB CARD #7 WRIC~ BY CARD #8 MUSIC & SETS CARD #9 JACK BENNY PROGRAM DON Appearing on tonight's program were: Roy Glenn, Joe Kearns, David Saber, Sheldon Leonard, Benny Rubln, Frank Wilcox, Barbara Pepper, Judy Kelley, Pauline Drake and Bea Benada~et, BA V A T,~O "J 0335B69
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-37- CDT TO CARD #ii JAC< BENNY PROGRAM CLOSING MEMO CARD #10 SYSTEM DON (VOICE 0VE~) R~membe~ - one week from tonight, on this same station, be sure and watch AnN Sothern in "Private Secretary". Jack Benuyts next television show will be in two weeks. In the meantime, be sure to listen to Jack Benny on radio eve~ Sunday night over the CBS Radio Network. The Jack Benny Program has boen b2ought to you by Lucky Strike, product of the American Tobacco Company, Amsrica~s leading manufacturer of cigarettes. This is Don Wilson, saying "BE HAPFf, GO LUCKY'T~ BK 61THO 1 03358?0
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PROGRAM ,#~ REVISED SCRIPT "A$ BROADCAST" SUNDAy, AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE THE JACK B~NY TEI~VISION PROGRAM NOVEMBER 14, i~4 CBS 4:30-5:00 PM P ST CAST JACK BENNY LEO DUROCHER CHARLES DRE$SEN BOB LEMON BEANS RHARDON FR~3 K~NEY COMMISSION]~ .... . ..... WIL WRIGHT OLER~ ................. PAUL FREES 1ST BASEBALL PIAYE~...B~NARD DOER 9ND BAS~ALL PIAYER...MIKE MOORE YANKEE PIAYER..., ° ,...DON SHEldON A~NOUNOHE ............. JOHNNY JACOBS ~TRAS -- BAT BOY ..... TRAV]K~S DEVINE ORD~qLY ..... RUSS WHITNEY PIAYERS ..... JOE ROACH B~ POLLACK DUSTY RHODES .......... BRAD TRU~BUIL MONTY IRWIN, .......... ALPHONZO MILLER RA A'I" ~0 1 033_58?2
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02EN -i- T}~ AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE T}~ JACK BENEY TV SHOW OPE~IEG COM~OIAL - TIME i:00 CUT TO TITLE CARD: "THE JACK BENNY PROGR~M." CUT TO TITHE CARD: "PHEBE~T~D BY LUCKY STRIKE." (MUSIC: LUCKY STRIKE TH~ME ANNCR From Television City In Hollywood, the Jack Benny Program with Jack,s Special guest Mr. Leo Durooher.,. Charles Dressen, Fred Hane~, Bob Lemon and Beans Reardon. presented by Lucky Stmlke' CUT TO TITLE CARD: "BE HAPPY -- GO LUCKY, LUCKIES TASTE BETTER." (bYOSIC: VAMP AND BE HAPPY-- GO LUCKY -- SHORT VERSION) CUT TO: MG AI'M01 03 ~SB ?.~
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THE AMERIOA~ TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE FILM CON~YRCIAL(STORAGE - ANIMATION) #S8 REVISED FOR "IT'~ TOASTED" (1:30) 0PF/~ ON ANIMATED TOBACCO LEAF IN BEDROOM. HE TURNS DOWN T~ COVERS HOPS IN AND SNUGGLES DOWN INT0 BED AND FULLS UP T~ COVERS UNDER HIS CHIN. BALLOON 1 DIgS 0LVES ON 0V~ LEAF'S HEAD WITH CIGARETTE INSIDE BALLOON. LEAF JUMPS OUT OF AND ~,'IR/S INTO A CIGAEETTE. LAP DISSOLVE TO CLOSEUP OF ANNOUNC~ DISSOLVE TO SIGN. IT APPEARS AS IF YOU'RE DRIVING BY IT IN AN AUTOMOBILE. CUT TO Film{COLOR LIBRARY #129. ) LONG ~IIOT OF TOBACCO FIELDS. OPEN -2- SANDY BECKON (VOICE OV~) Here,s a smart tobacco leaf Lying down to rest. Sometimes he sleeps for several years He knows what is best. And when the time for waking comes His d~eams will all come true. For he'll become a Lucky Strike And find his way to you. A~OR (ON CAMERA) About that little poem, there,s a lot of truth to it. If you,ve ever driven through... ANNUM (VOICE OVER) Richmond, Virginia...chances are you saw thls fe~nous sign. ~'Q~let Please.t Tobacco asleep. Millions of pounds of fine, light, naturally mild tobacco aging bePe for Lucky Strike Ciga~et tes." Yes it is with fine tobacco that Luekies, bette~ taste begins. As everybody knows... (EDED) MG AI'H01 03358?4
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~_-~Zz --~Z L%%~,~,~F~I~Z~ Lk¸ .... ~ < z~ ~'<= ~ ~ L ~--=:~ : T~ AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIK~ FIIM C0~OIAL (STORAGE - ANIMATION) #88 REVISED FOR "IT'S TOASTED" (1:30) SUPER LS/M~T 0V~ FIELD. QUICK DISSOLVE TO ANOTI~R FIELD SHOT(COLOR LIBRARy #l-l) LOOKING DOWN ON ROWS. QUICK DISSOLVE TO ANNOUNCER. }~ IS AGAINST R~RJTRAL BACKGROUND AND IS HOLDING A PACK OF IJJCKXES. TURNS PACK.T0 FEATURE IT' S TOASTED CUT TO TIGHY SHOT OF WORDS ON PACK... CUT BACK TO M~DIUM SHOT OF ARNOUNC~ H01DING PACK. CUT TO LUCKY STRIKE CARTON. AND POP ON: "BE HAPPY -- GO LUCKY". MG ANNCR ~OICE OV~) (CONT'D) ,..IS/MRT - Lucky Strike means fine tobaCco .., tobacco that,s light, mild, ~ood-tasting from the very start, AWNOR (ON CAMERA) The careful aging and mellowing of the tobeoco are also impomtant to the better taste you get from every Lucky. But there's something else that happens to Luckies' fine tobacco to make it taste so much better. Just before it's made into Lucky Strike Cigarettes... It's toasted .... to taste better. The famous Lucky Strike prOCess "IT' S TOAST~.", brings Luc kies, fine tobacco $o its peak of flavor ..... tones up this mild, n~turally good-tastlng tobacco to make it taste even better. Yes, a Lucky tastes better because it,s the cigarette of fine tobacco and ... '~IT'S TOASTED" to taste better. Cleaue~... Fres her, Smoot he>, So.,. Be happy -- Go Lucky: ~TM01 03358?5
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-1- (A~TER COMMERDIAL, JACK COMES CUT TO MUSIC AND APPI~USE) JACK Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, and ~eleome to the Lucky Strike Program...Please excuse my appearance, but I have ~ very quick change to make...You see, this being a live show, under this robe I,m wearing a costume which you will see later. Incidentally, I bought this ro~e for television. I never use it anywhere else...just on television... That way it's deductible ..... Well, anyway, on my show tonight my guest star is Leo Durecher...the Manager of the New york Giants, the team that won the World Series in four straight games...And when I asked Leo how much money be wanted for appearing tonight, and without hesitating he said, "Ten thousand dollars." ... and you want to know something, I didn't bat an eye...l didn.t even move a muscle. I believe they call it temporary paralysis .... So I said to him..."Leo, I don't pay that kind of money. Now you.ve seen my show...you know how I work...you know how ~eh fun it is...Now what is it really worth to you to appear on my Program?" It took me over an hour to get him b~k down to ten thousand agaln...Naturally I wasn,t going to give him that kind of money, so we dickered. He came down a little...I went up a little...He came down a little more...l went up a little more°..then we finally compromised and I got him for two hundred and sixty dollars .... (MORE) MG ATe01 0335876
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g~c~ (CO~'D) It's amazing that a man who can be so tough and bard on a baseball field can turn so soft when you cry a little...When it comes to deals, I'm a regular Bette Davis .... Now tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to do ou~ version of Herman Wouk.s book, "The Calne Mutiny''. This book was so great that Columbia Studios made one of the most sensational and exciting motion pictures that you.ve ever seen. °.Mr. Stanley Kramer produced it...As a matter of fact, they made a stage play from the court martlal scene alone. Now our version of Calne Mutiny Is called the Giant Mutiny and it t~kes place in Cleveland, Ohio, during the fourth game of the recent World Series. The reason we're doing it now is because something happened during that last game that never happened before in the history of baseball. Even the sportswriters tried to keep this thing qulet...but when it came to my attention'last week, I decided to expose this shocking incident. Now, Leo Durocher willt naturally, play the part of Leo Du~ocher, the manager of the New York Giants .... And l will play the part of Alvin Dark, the shortstop and captain of the team....Now in the second pa~t of the show I have as my guests Bob Lemon, Chuck Dressen, Fred Haney and Beans Reardon ... So now, for our version of The Calne Mutlny,..we take you to the Municipal Stadium in Cleveland, Ohio. (CUT TO ANNOUNCER.S BOOTH, OR TO FILM CLIP OF STADIUM) MG ATIRO I OB ~-~SB F?
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%* ' V3- ANNOUNCER Yes, Ladies and gentlemen, there's ~ lot of excitemeot here at the Municipal Stadium in Clevelaod, Ohio, where the fourth game of the Series is in progress. As you know, the Giants, under the brilliant leadership of Leo Du~ocher, have won the first three games..aod should they be successful in winning today, it will give them four sames in a ~ow. This hasn't happened in the National League sioce 1914....From up here I can see both Leo DUrocher add the Capt~io Alvlo Dark ~lervously pacios the dugout..and Heo~ Thompson is at bat, CUT TO : THE DUGOUT OF THE NEW YORK GIANTS. SEVERAL BALL plAYERS SITTING ON TBE BENCH ANXIOUSLY WATCHING THE GAME OFF SCENE. WE HEAR CROWD NOISES AND DURING ApPlAUSE, LEO DUR00HER, THE GOTI~I T MANAGER, IS NERVOUSLY PA~ING UP A~THE LENGTH OF THE DUG0v~. - ALWAYS STOPPING AT ONE END TO GET A DRINK OF WATER FROM THE cooLER. AFTER HIS DRINK, HE WALKS BACK TO THE OTHER END OF THE DUGOTUT~ pUT~ HIS FOOT ON %~{E TOp STEp AND ALTERNATELY YELLS ENCOURAGEMENT T HIS plAYERS, OR CRITI01SM AT TNE UMPIRES. JACK IS h'EARBY, JACK (LOOKING TOWARD HOME PLATE) Come on, Kenry, get a good one. (SOUND OF BALL HITTING CATC~R'S MITT) UMPIRE'S VOICE (OFF SCENE) Steeerike two! LEO (ANGRILY) Strike? Why, you blind bum...at least wslt till the ball sets over the plate before you call it .... Come on, Henr~, stay with it. SE P~T K01 03358?8
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-4- LEO Knock it over the fence, Henry. (S(FJND OF BALL IN CATCheR'S MITT) UMPIRE'S VOICE (0.S.) gteerike three, you'me out. LEO Strike three: What,re you talking about? It was way over his head. JACK Yeah, it waa a mile high. LEO You shut up! JACK Well, that,s a fine way to talk to your captain. JACK TURNS AND WE SE~ "39" ON HIS BACK. LEO GOh~ OVER TO TNE WATE~ COOLER AGAIN... ONE OF T~[~ PLAYERS STANDS UP TO LOOK AT T}~ GAME. }~ HAS TRE WORD "YANKEES" PRINTED ACROSS T}~ UNIFORM. JASK (TO YAM pLAYER) Hey, you're with the yankees... you,re not supposed to be here. YANF]~ PLAYE~ That,s wh~t they told me, but I just csn, t believe it. HE SITS D0~. MG UMPIRE'S VOICE (O.S.) Come on...come on...batter up. R]'HO 1 033-~8 ?9
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-5- LEO Hold it, hold it...Time out. LEO STARTS PACING UP AND DOWN AGAIN. A BALL PLAYER GOES UP TO JACK. BALLPLAYER Hey, Captain..what's the matter with Leo today? JACK 1 don't know. He's gone crazy since we won the first three games. Now he wants to maMe it fou# in a row. I Dever saw him act like this before. He's going nuts. BALL2IAYER Well, what's he wo~led about? We got tbree mop o~ b~se. JACK I ~now, but we've got two outs, and he has to make a decision. (TO Leo, what'~e you going to do? LEO I'm going to send in Dusty Rhodes to pinch-hit for Monty Trvln. JACK What? LEO Yoa heaz~ me, I)~ 8endiog in Dusty Rhodes...Oome on, Dusty. DUSTY GETS UP AND COMES OVER. SE I~1 I".WO 1 0335880
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2 JACK~ Leo, are y6u crazy? You can~t send Dusty in. LEO Why Dot? JACK He got three hlts Io a row. What're yon looklng for...a miracle? LEO I'm looking for a hit...I made my decision and that Bettles it. Go in, Dusty. LEO SLAPS DUSTY ON THE BACK A~D A CLOUD OF DUST COMES BILLOWING 0[~2. JACK Come back here, Dusty...Leo, you're ma~ing a big mistake. LEO Don't tell me how to run my team. A BASEBALL PIAYER WITH HIS SYlRT TAIL STICKING OUT WALEB OVER TO I~O. SE 2~DBASEBALLpLAYER Say, Skipper, don't you thin~ it woald be better if -- LEO Hey, wait a minuZe. ~hat's the idea of your shlrt tall sticking oat? 2NDBALLpLAYER This happened when I slid ioto second base. LEO Well, put it back in..If you can't be neat, do, It 811de. ~1 ~335~1
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Yes~ siP, 2ND BALLPLAYER (STANDING AT ATTENTION) (HE WALKS AWAY) LEO Go ahead and bat, Dusty. JACK Wait a minute..Dusty is not going in. LEO What? JACK i said, Dusty is not going in...Leo, you're or~cklng up..I~m tagin~ over..snd I say Monty Irvin is goin~ to bat. How about it, fellows? BALL pIAYERS ALL AD LIB, -7- 'XEAK..YEAH..LET MONTY IRVIN BAT...YEAH.. LEO (BLOWI~G HIS TOP..TO JACK) Why, you miserable creep...I'm the manager of this team, you're only the Captain. You haven't got the authority to over-rule me. JACK I haven't, eh? Well, I just did it. SE ATN01 0335882
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I~0 DO you know what this action means? I'ii see that you,re b~rred from baseball fop the rest of you~ llfe~ JACK Ilm ~Ithln my ~ights. I k~o~ exactly ~hat I'm doing ..... According to Article 167, Section 12, Chapter B... (JACK PULL~ A SMALL BOOK OUT OF HIS BACK FOCKETAND P[Y~S ON HIS GLASSES) ...and I quote.. '~#nen the superior in charge is deemed to have lost control of an important situation, then it is the duty of the next in commaad to take over." Unquote. LEO (GRABBING BOOK FROM JACK) Wait a mlnute..what book is that? JACK Itls the 1954 edition of the Gillette Record Book...I paid a dolla~ fo~ it.. Now, Leo, get off the field, LEO Are you telling me to leave? JACK I'm not tellin~ you, I'm ordering you, TB ~r~01 0335883
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-9~ LEO Why, that's mutiny. (MUS IOAL ST ~Fa ) JACK I denlt care what it is.. Get up to bat~ Montey. LEO What? A COIDREDBALLPLAYER GOES IN TOBATWHILET~EBALLPLAYERSHOLD BACK LEO. LEO Listen, Dark, you blue-eyed mutinous rat...You,re not gonn~ get away with this... I,m goin~ to take you before the highest baseball court in the laDd. TB 033~884
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-lO - (OPEN ON COU~ROOM SO/~2'~. ) THIS IS A BIAOK-~ S~MI-CIRCDTAR ROOM. IN THE CENTER 0P TKE ROOM IS A HIGH, BACKLESS STOOL. THIS IS THE STOOL THE WITNESSES WILL SIT ON %.~N THEY ARE TO BE OROSS-~QLMINED. TO THE LEFT OF THE STOOL IS THE OOU~EL TABLE AND TWO CHAIRS. THIS IS FOR THE DEFENDANT (JACK). TO THE RIGHT OF THE STOOL IS TI~ JUDGES' BOX. IN THIS BOX WILL SIT THE GROUP 'WHO WILL DECIDE THE CASE. A SECBETARY,S TABLE IS NEAR THE JUDGES' BOX AND A C~ IS PRFS~TLY AT THE SECRETARY'S DESK ARRANGING SOME ~APE~S...THE CLEF~K W~/~5 A REGULAR BUSINESS SUIT. A DISTINGUISI~/D-LOOKLNG MAN IN A BLUE BUSINESS SUIT IS SIT~ING IN TH~ JW/DGES'BOX. HE IS RUSTLING THROUGH SOME NOTES. THE CL~RK LVIDENTLY F~DS ~PHAT HE WANTS, PIOES UP H~S L~T AND CO~S CENTER. CL~d< Attention...The supreme baseball Cou~t of the United States is DO~ i~ SessioD ..... Oomm~ss~onep) shell ~e brin~ in th~ accused? COMMISSIONER Yes, Clerk. CLERK orderly, bring in the accused. FROM THE ~ ~[IN3, JACK AND T~ ORDERLY ENTHE. THE 0~OERLY IS DRESSED IN k PIAIN BUSIN~3S SUIT, JACK IS STILL IN UN~0RM. THE O~D~LY ~3ICATE~ FOR JACK TO SIT AT THE DHE~NDANTIS TABLE...JACK DOES. CL~qK (~n~G) Cha~ge - Conduct to the p~e~udlce of ~ood orde~ an~ discipline. ~Pecificetion -- In that O~ptaiu Alvi~ Dark on October 2, 195~, in the City of Cleveland, did ~ilfully, and ~ithout proper authority o~" ~ustifiable cause, ~elieve from his conmmnd his superior, the s~eet and eve~-lovlng, easy-golng Leo Durocher... Captain Alvin Dark, you have heard the oha~Ee and specification against you. How say you, Guilty o~ not Guilty? RTF~01 033588S
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-ll- THE ORDERLY NUDGe5 JACK TO RISE..oJACK DOE8. JACK Not guilty, your Honor.. JACK SITS DOWN. CLERK I'm the clerk. JACK Oh. ~ CLERK ( ING) We will now seat the court martial board. The fl~st Judge to be seated is one of baseball,s greatest pitchers... Mr. Bob Lemon of the Cleveland Indians. BOB LEMON TAE]ES HIS ENTRANCE TO APPLAUSE, DRESSED IN BASEBALL UNIFORM. HE GOES TO THE JUDGES, B73X~SITS DOWN. A BAT BOY COMES OVER A~D G~ HIM HIS JACKET, WHICH HE PUTS ON AND T~N SITS DOWN AGAIN. OL~K Also assisting the court in its duty today is that great arbitrator from the National League .... the Dean of umpires... "Beans" Neardon. "BEA~S,. REARDON ENTERS TO APPLAUSE AND WA//~ TO TRD JUDGES, BOX. HE IS DRESSED IN T~ TYPIC~L--~,S COSTUME. HE PUTS ON A C~ST PROTECTOR AND MASK A~D SITS DOWN. C OMMISSI ONEE That isn't necessary. ~- MG P~]~O 1 0335B86
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TA~ OFF T~ MASK CI~K (READING) Sitting in judgment today, along ~ith out other distingu±sh~i personalities of baseball is that great leader of men, the present manager of the Ws~hlngton Senators, and the former manager of the B~ooklyn Dodgers, Mr. Charles D~essen. -llA- t M5 y I~l'HO 1 0335t3B P
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-12- Y DRE~SEN ENTERS TO ~ WEARIN~ BASEBALL UNIFOEM. GOgB TO HIS PLACE. C OMMISS 10N~ Mr. Dressen, are you fs2niliar wit[] the faots of this ease? DKESSEN Yes, sir. It i~volves a oase of mutiny between Alvin Dark~ a shortstop d and Leo Dorocher, the second greatest manager in baseball. JACK That's telling mem Chuck. COMMISSI0~R JACK SITS DOWN. Quiet, you mutineer~ JACK Hmm. COMMIBSIOkq~ Continue, Clerk. CLERK Also ho~orlngus ~ith his presence as an impa~tlal Juror is that great personality of baseball...the present Inanager of the Pittsburgh Pirates... Mr. Fred H&ney. HANEY, IN BASEBALL UNIFORM, ENTERS TO ~ AND GOES TO THE JUI~ BOX AND BITS. M~ RT~01 0335888
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C. -13 - C 0~MISS IONER Is Mr. Haoey the last? HANEY ~Im used to oomiDg in last, C ormmls 81crier. C 0MMISS ION~q (TO cn~) Well, now that everyone is here, Clerks please call in the terribly uofortuoate plaintiff. JACK H~m.unfo~tuoateo ..He must have a million razor blades. CLERK Now appearing before the court~ is that great, ~ leader of men...that astute, aggressive, competitive, couregeous skippe~o,tbe m~n~ger of the ~o~id ohamplon New York Giants... Mr. Leo Duroche~. LEO ENT~WS IN EZ$ BAS~ALL UN~0RM TO APPLAUSE...HE ~ ALL SMILES AND BOWB FROFU$~y. UPON LEO'S ~TRANCE, ALL TP~ JUDGES GREET LEO LIEE A LONG LOST RELATIVE, POUNDING HIM ON THE BACK, ~0. JACK Gee, I hope I ~e~ a fai~ tl, ial. LEO GOES OVER TO TEE WAT~ C00~ AND TAZE5 A DRI~K. ~B ~r RTM01 0335889
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Y rJ. MS COMMISS ION~ Will the plaintiff please ta~e the witness chair. LEO Yes, sir. AS LEO GOES TO T}SE WITNESS CHAIR, BEANS REAREON COMES 0VER AND DUSTS IT OFF WITH A %WHISK BROOM. LEO SITS DOWN. COMMISSIONER LEO) Plaintiff...for the benefit of the OouPt, please state your name. LEO Leo Durocher, affectionstely refer~ed to as The Lip. COMMISSIONER Mr. Du~ocher, why do they cell you The Lip? LEO Must I tell? JACK Answer the question...Why do they call you The Lip? LEO Because in the ~inber llm a best pilot for Hazel Bishop: C 0MMISS 101~ER Mr. Durocher, on October 2ud, 1954, during the final gang9 of the ~orld Series, were you in complete comnand of the New York Giants? ATe01 0335890
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-15- v LEO I ~as. C OMMISS ION~q And On that day, du~iog the strain of the game in p~o~vess, as you paced up and down in the dugout, what conditioD would you say you were in? LEO A little ~ater-logged, but otherwise SOUnd° C OMMIBS IOh~ A~d On October 2rid ~ere you relieved of your con~and of the Giants? LEO ( SLIG}~ PAUSE) You mean "by ~hom"j sir. C01~]BS ION~q Oh yes, I'm te~rlbly sorry.. ,By whom? LEO (STANDING UP AND POINTING TO JACK) By the accused...And I call it mutinyL (MUSICAL STING]RR ) M~ ~[~0] 033589]
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JACK Oh l~ah~ LEO GOES OV~ TO JACK A~D STICEB HIS FACE NEAR JACK'S. ¥oah i Oh yeah? Yeah ~. BOB LEMON STANDS UP. Oh, yeah? JACK LEO LEMON JACK Mr. Lemom, what,me ~ou buttlng in for? LF2MON I came all the way from Cleveland, I oughta say some~hir~ COMMISSIOE~R BANGS HIS GAVE~ COMMISSIONER Ordem...order...order (SW~LY) Mr. Durocher, please try to control your temper. I know aM ~ction llke this can be upsetting even to the most placid individual, but if you show patience, I promise you SNARm } by thunder, we'll ~all him. -16- 0335892
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9" -17 - 'LEO Thank you, sir...I'm so~ry if l've Caused any inconvenience. CQMM~S ION~ Not st all. Nc~ would you kindly step do~o from the witness chair? I'd like to trap the accused with a few load6~ questions. DUROCI~R NODS, GETS DOWN AND GOES OVER TO SHAKE5 HANDS WITH THE COMM~SIONER. JACK (SEEING ~) Hnmm~...I'd have a better chance if the Judge ~as Laraine Day. CLEPd( Will the accused plesse take the stan~? JACK GETS UP FROM THE TABLE, GO~ TO THE STOOL ...HE IS ABOUT TO SIT DOWN...HE L001~ UP AT REAI~DON. REAEDON Not for you. JACK Hmmm. JACK SITS DOWN AND LIG}~S A CIGARETTE. CO}~4ISSIONER Jus$ a minute...no smoking in the Cou~t?oom. THE JUDGES' BOX AND M5 13THO 1 033-'5893
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• \ ~18- JACK But, sir, this is a Luck~ Strike. If you want better taste from your cigarette, Lucky Strike is the brand to get. It,s toasted to give you the best taste yet. It,s the toasted (CLAP CLAP CLAP) Cigarette. C O~ISSIONER Oh .... well, that's different. T~ CC~ISSIONLR, AND ALL THE JIR)GES TAKE CUT LUCKIES A~ LIGHT THKM. COMMISSIONER Now, will you please state your name, rank, and present position. JACK Alvin Dark, Captain of the New York Giants,..Shortstop° How old are you? 61. COMMISSIONER JACK COMMISSIONER You admit you'r~ 61? JACK What do I care how old Alvin Dark is? C0~94ISSION]~ Now tell me, Mr. Dark, in the fourth game of the World Series, when you took eo~nand, why did you suddenly decide that your judgment was better than Mr. Durocher, s? F~I~O I 0335894
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-19- JACK Oh, I didnIt decide suddenly, sir. You see, fo~ moDths I sa~ Mr. Durocher make bluoder after blunder,.. and slowly it da~ned on me that the pressure was getting h~m, aod that he was cracklng up. COMNISSI0~ Can you be specific, Mr. D~rk, and tell us exactly ~hen ~as the very fi~st time you thought Mr. Durocher ~es golng to pieces? JACK Once ~hen the team sat down to dlnner and he couldn't find the strawberries. COMMISSIONER And on the basis of this, you thought he was a paranold? JACK Well, that wasn't all...shortly after that, I sa~ him smile at an umpire. M5 61]XO 1 0335895
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-20- LEO (JUMPING UP) That's ~ lie. JACK (SHOUTING BACK) It is oct. I ~as there when you done it. LEO That's did it. JACK What? C OMMISS ION~R I thought it was "whom". JACK That sho~s how much he knows. LEO Oh yeah? JACK Yeah, LEO Oh yeah. HANEY Yeah. I came all the way from Pittsburg, AI~01 0335896
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J JACK GETS UP. 21, 22, 23 CO~MISSIOh~ (Pounding Gavel) Order! Order! (TO JUDGES) A~e the~e any other questions, gentlemen? JUDGES No, sir. COMMISSIO~R You may step down, Mr. Dark. DRESSEN Mr. Commissioner, I think that Mm. Dark should sign an affidavit that all the testimony he has given is true. COMMISSIONER Clerk, have Mr. Dark sign the affidavit. CLERK Yes, sir. THE CLERK TAKES A PAP~ OVER TO JACK AT THE TABLE. JACK PICKS UP TWO P~CII~, TAKES A ~ PRACTICE SW/NC~, THEOWS O~ AWAY,, .STARTS TO SIGN...STOPS, FJ~OCKS T}~ PENCIL AGAINST HIS CLEATS..THI~ SIGNS ...AND SITS DOWn. C O~MISS lONER Will Mr. Duroch~r please take the stand again? LEO G~S UP FROM HIS SEAT AND ~ HIS PIACE ON TP~ STOOL. LEO Co~nlssloner, is this necessary? Can't we Just find the Captain guilty and be done ~ith it? COmmiSSIONER I'd like to, Mr. DnrocheP, but as long as this is a court of justice, and as long as we are fair men..I say, "Let's have a trial and then find him guilty." (JACK LOOE~ AT THE AUD~CE) ~]'~01 0335897
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L~ ~t JACK W~ll, that's falr. COMMISSIONER Mr. Durocher, iz your own ~or~s please tell us why your aubordtnant tried to rid you of you~ oommand. LEO Well, Comm~slonor, as you know, I've been in baseball practically ell ~ Iife. I kno~ nothing else. And to me, baseball i~ a sport..a game...It isn't a case of llfe o~ death. It's nine men frolooklng on a B~m~ &ft~noon....Well, an~ay, We won the first two games in N~w York snd the third game in Cleveland. Nc~ ~e had them three games to nothlng. I dldn'~ care whether ~e ~on the fourth game or not. Being to~ether ~ith the boys..~he feZlowsh~p...thatJs ~hat Z ~anted. JACK (JUMPING UP) Why, Co~Isslone~, he's lying. He ~ante8 - to ~In the fourth game. He wao~ed to ~in four games in a ~ow. COmmISSIONeR Order, order .... ~It down .... JACK SITS DOWN. BA R ]-KO1 0335898
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COMMISSION~ Now, Mr. Duroehe~, in all fairness, Isn't it true that winning the games is the most important thing to you, no matter ho~ you ~o it? LEO No~ ~o, Commissioner, ~hat difference does it make if you win or lose? It's playing the game that counts. As a matter of fact, everFbody kno~s that I'm a graceful loser. DUEOC}~q TAE~ OUT TWO BASEBALLS AND ROLLS AROUND IN HIS HANDS, ~ IA QUEEG D[~ING REST OF SCENE. LEO (Gk~ITINGNE~VOUS) To me, ~Innlng isn't everything. It,s ho~ neat and clean you play the game. If a fellow can slide into second base ~Ithout his shirt tail coming out, I'm happy....Everybody thinks I have a r~putatlon of picking on umpires and ba~ling them out and giving the~ the ~aspberrles. That's ~Idlculous..Itm a strawberry man. JACK ( S~ANDn~G UP) Look, Com~issloner, I think this ~hole thing is a ~as~e of time. COMMIS~ION~R (BANGING GAVEL) Order,.erder...srder .... I'm in charge here. JACK SITS DOWN. RS -25" F~THO 1 0335899
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-26- COMMISSION~ (TO ~m~G~S ) Have you any questions, gentlemen? BEANS RFARDON Commissioner, I~d llke to ask Mr. Durocher a fe~ questions. CO~MI SSIOM~q Go right ahead, ~4r. Reardon. Wait a minute .... I don't want any umpire questioning me. COMMISSION]~ I'm sorry, Leos but Mr. ReaSon is one of the judges and I must give him that opportunity. / Go ahead, Mr. Reardon. BF~.NS PUTS ON ES MASK, LEAVES JUDGES' BOX AND GOES OVeR ~'D STANDS BEHIND LEO BEANS Now, Mr. Durocher, you just made a statement that you never hollered at an umpire. LEO (STANDING UP AND YELLING) That's ~hat I said....I never hollered at an umpire in my llfe. BEANS (TAKING OFF HIS MASK AND YELLING) You dldo't, eh? What about that time in 1947 ~hen I called one ofyour players out as he slid into third base? You ran over to me ~Ith your fist doubled up...I never heard ~ such language in my life and I've been married for forty years. ~1"KO ~ O33~9OO
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-27- LEO (~ELLINO) Well, you had it coming to you. My magi ~as safe by a mlle. The third baseman dtdnlt even have his foot on the bag. IKEANS (~LLINe) say he did and you owe me an W811~ I apology. LR0 Apology. Listen, knuckle-head, ~hydon't you go bac~ to the Three Eye League, yo~ could use another eye. JACK (JUMPING UP) you see, you see, Commissioner, you see,,,,He's cracklog up.,.He's blown his top. That's ~hat happened all season. L~D (TO J;OK) you shut up! (TO BEANS) NOW, listeD, Rea~doD.,.I can take umpires llke you and break yo~ in half, BEANS Oh, you could, eh?...Well, youlre throDgh, Loud Mouth .... new get out .... out ...... ATe01 0335901
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- ,~ -28- BEANS PULLS HIS WATCH OUT OF HIS POCE~T AND GIVES LEO THE THUMB. LEO (YELLING) What? BEANS (YEUL~G) You're out...out of the court..Go to the sho~ers. LEO LOOKS AROUND THE COURTROOM, GETS UP...WALKS OVeR TC Ti~ WATER COOL,q, TAKES A I~INK~ WAI~ OVER TO JACK. JACK I'm sorry I had to do this to you, Skipper. LEO T}~OWS WAT~q IN JACK'S FACE....THEN WALKS OUT, DOWN T}~ STEPS, UP THE AISLE, AND OUT THE BACK OF THE THEAT~ ..... (MUSIC AND APPLAUSE) DON Jack ~ill be back in Just a minute, but first 7 ....... (Cb~ TO CLOSING COM~CIAL) RS RI'H01 0335902
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v THE AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY -4A- ALT. CLOSE -I- H.T. O0 C AL (l:oo HERBERT TARNYTON (AHgERN~TE) ANNOUND~ TITLE ON ~CREEN WITH V010E Ooo~ ne'~s for filter tip smokers OV£~: Herbert Tareyton is now two ~ys... TITLE BURST WIPES REVEALING TWO PACEB. "NOW 2 WA~'S'.' regular and filter... TITLE APPFARS ABOVE PAO~ AND '~KEGULAR" AND "FILTh" TIT~ APPEAR BELOW PACKS IN SYNC WITH VOICE...TITLE~ FADE OUT. "BOTH KING SIZE" TITLE "WITH ...both king size, both with ~enuine GENUINE CORK TIP" TITLE POPS ~0ICE SYI~C...TITLE~ FADE. FILTER PACK MOVES FORWARD TO Tareyton's famous quality... FULL SCRE~ AS CORK TIP PACK FADES. STRIPES APPEAR ON BACKGROUND, "NEW SELECTIVE FILTh" ...now comes to you with the new POPS ON. Selective Filter. The only filte~ of its kind, An entirely new concept in PACEAGE FADES WITH "NEW cigarette filtration. A filte~ tip SELECTIVE FILT~~' TITLE. PATENTS PENDING AND CRAWL of purified cellulose, Inoorporatlng COME UP FROM BACEDROUND. Actlvste~ Charcoal, a filtering substance wo~Id-famous as a purifying agent, notable fop ai~~, ~ater and bevorages, CUT TO ATTRACTIVE GIRL That's why Herbert TareFton with the HOLEING CIGARETTE TO I~PS MAN'S HAND cOMES ~0M EIGHT ne~ Selective Filter and famous AND LIG~ IT. Tareyton quality gives you real filtration and smoking satisfaction! SHE INHALFS AND SMILES Yes, Filter Tip Smokers~ He~e~s the HAPPILY ~ DISSOLI~. trl/8 tob~ooo taste you've been looking fo~. (MORE) BA RTNO1 0335903
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THE AMERICAN TOBAgC0 COMPANY -~B- H.T. C0~CIAL #4F (l:OO MIm) CIRCLE IS DOTTED ON SCREEN AROUND STRIPES ON CIGARETTE PACK. CIRCLE POPS OFF PACK LEAVING FILTER PACK ~N VIEW AND STRIPE BACKGROUND. "SUPEEIOE FILTER" AND "POPULAR FII/fER PRICE" POPS ACROSS CENTER OF PACK IN SYNC WITH VOICE. ALT., CLOSE -2 - A~NOUNCER (00NT'D) SO look for the red, ~hlte, and blm__~estrlpes on the package,., .,.they Idontlfy the best in filtered smoklng...Herbert Tarsyton, ..,a su e~ filto~ at a popular Filtor price. BA ~1+~01 0335904-
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-q (TAG) (AFTER CO~ERCIAL JACK CO~S OUT TO MUSIC & APELA~E. THE BA~hU3ALL UNIFORM) JACK Thank you veT much, ladies and gentlemen...Before I bring out ~I guest stars for a bow, I want to tell you that next Sunday night I'll be on the General Elect~Ic Theater over CBS ..... And now, once again, ITd llke to bring out my guest stars First - Mr. Leo Duroeher. to take a bow. (LEO 00~5 OUT TO APPIAU~E) BA A]~)~O 1 0335905 JACK Leo, it was a lot of fun having you on the show tonight....And all kidding aside, Leo, l watched the World Series this year and you did a wonderful job of managing the Giants. It Was spectacular. I want to tell you, in my opinion, you're one of baseball's greatest geniuses. LEO A fine genius - before the season started I wanted to trade Dusty Rhodes...And that's really the truth. JACK Well, Leo, have you any predictions about where your team will end up nezt year? LEO Well, Jack, you know how I feel. What's the difference if you win Or lose? To me baseball is a sport...a game...it isn't a case of llfe or death...It's --
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-30- JACK All rightl all right .... Now, ladies and gentlemen, the rest of my guests...Chuck Dressen...F1,ed Haney... Bob Lemon...and Beans Reardon. (THEY C0~ OUT TO APplAUSE) BFANS (NOTICING LEO) I thought I told you to get out...Out...out! LEO But it's only s play. BEANS I donlt oare,..out .... out .... out! (BEANS CHASE5 LEO OFF STAGE) JACK (TO BEANS) Now wait a minute, Mr. Reardon...Leo is my guest .... out ..... out: T~ ALL EXIT. APPLAUSE & MUSIC SNFAEB IN. Thanks, fellows! JACK Is the sho~ really over...Then what am I doing out here. Good night, folks. (cUT TO CREDITS) BA AI )~O I 0335906
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-30 - JACK All right, all right .... Now~ la~les and gentlemen, the rest of my gueBts...Chuck Dressen.~. .Fred Haney... Bob Lemon...sod Beans Reamdon. (THEY COME OUT TO APPLAUSE) BFANS (NOTICING LEO) I thought I told you to get out...Out...out. LEO But it's only a play. BFANS I don't oare...out .... out .... out~ (BEANS CHASES LEO OFF STAGE) JACK (To BraNS) Now wait a minute, Mr. Reardon...Leo is my guest .... out ..... out : THief ALL EKIT. APPIAUSE & MUSIC SNF~hV~ IN. Thanks, fellows! JAOK Is the show really ever...Then what am I doing out here. Good night, folks. (CUT TO credits) BA RIM01 0335902
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( CREDITS ) CARD #~ JACK BENNY pROGRAM CARD #5 DIRECTED BY RALPH LEV~ CARD #6 PRODUCED BY HILLIARD MARKS CARD #7 WRITTEN BY CA,m:~ #8 MUSIC & SETS CARD #9 JACK BENNY PROGRAM MEMO CARD #i0 CUT TO CARD #Ii JACK BENNY PROGRAM SYSTEM -31 - DON (VOICE OVF2) Remember - one week from tonight, on this same station, Ann Sothern returns in "Private Secretary". Jack Benny's next television show will be in t~o weeks. Io th8 meantime, be sure to listen to Jack Benny on radio every Sunday night over the CBS Radio Network. The Jack B~nny Program has been brought to you by Lucky Strike, product of the American Tobacco Compaoy, America's leading ~anufacturer of cigarettes. BA A]N01 0335908
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~'AS BROADCAST" SUNDAy, AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE THE JACK BENNY TELEVISION pROGRAM NOVEMBER 28, 1955 pRoe #5 EEVISED SCRIPT CBS 4:30 - 5:30 PM PST CAST: Jack Benny Rochester Don Wilson ~po~tsmen Quartet Western Union Man Miss Gordon Imishman Ssxy Girl Old Lady Joe . . . Jimmy . . Harry . . Mel Blanc Jean Willes • . Dick Ryan Lee Snowden Hillane Hill • . Jo~ Besser • Jimmy Baird Harry Shearer J ~ DH / • 8T~O1 0335909
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T}~ AMERICAN TOBAC00 COMPANY T~ JACK ~NNY TV SHOW NOVF~BER 28, 19~4 0PENIh~ COMMERCIAL -TI~ 1:30 CUT TO TITLE CAHD: ~'~E JACK BENN~ PROGRAM" CU~ TO TITLR CARD: "PBESENTED BY LUCKY BTRIEE" CUT TO TITI~ CARD: 'rBE HAppy -- GO LUCKY, DUCKIES TASTE BETTER". CUT TO #85 ANIMATZON -1- (MUSIC: LUCKY STRIKE THEME UP AND UNDER .... ) ANNOUNCER From Televisioo City in Hollywood .. The Jack Benny Program presented by Lucky Strike! (MUSIC: VAMP AND BE HAPPY -- GO LUCKY -- SHORT VERSION. ) DH H ~TX01 03359~0
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T THE A~RICAN TOBACCO COMPANY ~ JACK BENNY TV SHOW NOVEMBER 28, 195~ #85 OPENING COMMERCIAL OPEN ON FII~4 CLIPS FROM RKO TED WILLIAMS SHORT SUBJECT AS FOLLOWS: WAIST SHOT OF WILLIAMS CASTING. CUT TO ANOTHER SHOT AS ~D REACTS TO A STRIEE. LINE GOING OFF REEL. CUT TO SHOT OF FISH BEING WEIGHED BY TED. DISSOLVE THROUGH TO TW0-SHOT OF ~D AND BARUCH. THEY AY~ ON PORCH OF FISHING LODGE. WILLIAMS IS HOLDING 9-F00T GLASS ROD. BARUCH TURNS TO TED. CUT TO MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT OF TED. HE IS LOOKING AT ROD~ SNAPPING ZT AS HE ANSWERS. ANDEE BARUOH (V.O.) (HEw TRACK) Here's Ted Williams one of baseball's greatest sluggers. Watch Ted go after a hand-fighting bone fish off the Florida Keys. He's hooked one Look at that line peel off' A good sizea catch. Looks like an eight pounder ! BARUOH (Now ON CAMERA TO AUDIENCE) .... and Itts all done with a glass ~od. Ted's own oompaoy makes it. Ted, what do you call that rod? TED WILLIAMS Well, it's a Ted Williams 9-footer. And I map be a little prejedlced, but I think it's the very best the~e is for bo~efishing. BARUCH I donlt doubt it. Toll me, another thing, Ted. How do ~ou feel about that Lucky you're smoking? I~TNO~I 0335911
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~Y THE AMERIOANTOBACCO COMPANY THE JAOK B~ TV D}IOW NOVEHEER S8, 1954 #85 OPENING COMMEROIAL (CONT 'D) CUT TO EVEN TIGHTER CLOSEUP OF WILLIAMS HOLDING HIS LUCKY Cb~ TO DIFFERH~TANGLE SHOT OF WILLIAMS. CUT TO BAEUCH ALONE IN MEDIUM SHOT. NE LOOKS OFF CAMERA TO WILLIAMS. HE TURNS AND ADDRESSES CAMERA. }~ HOLDS UP PACK CASU&LLY. MOVE INT0 MEDIUM CU OF BARUCH HOLDING LUCKY PACK. HE TILTS IT B0 THAT BOTTOM FACES CAMERA. HE CASUALLy TURNS PACK TO FEATURE BULLSEYE. CUT TO TIGHT SHOT OF BULLSEYE, FEATURING "IT'S TOASteD". BUT BACK TO MEDIUM SHOT OF BARUCH. -3- TED Well, it's the best, too. I switched to Luekies a couple of years a~o. While I smoke indoors and out, I probably enjoy Luokies best in an open boat. They give me just what IJm looking for ... and that's better taste. PARUCH Well, millions of smokers will agree with you there, Ted. Indoors and outdoors, a Lucky tastes better for reasons that are printed right here on the pack. ...LS~FT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco ... and then, that fine tobacco .. is toastedo "It's Toasted" is the famous Lucky Strike process that brings Luckles' fine tobacco to its peak of flavor.. .... tones up this m~id, naturally good-tastlng tobacoo to make it taste even better. (zoRN) DH f'] 1"~0 t 0335912
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BARUCH (CONT 'D) Yes, a Lucky tastes better beoause it's the Ci~arebt~ of fine tobaooo and "IT'S TOASTED" to taste better. Cleaner, FresheT, Smoother. Soj like Ted Williams, Be Happy -- Go Lucky. Remembem, it's toasted to taste better. DH 81~01 0335913
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_5_ BA AFTI~ OPENING COMMERCIAL, DON IN FRONT OF Cb~RTAIN. DON And now, ladies and gentlem~n, let's go out to Jsek Beuny's home in BeverLy Hills. (Muszc±) DON A few Weeks from now Jack is golog to do a television show based on the story of his llfe. Jack has already written the script in pencil and at the moment, Rochester is busy typing it. OPEN ON JACK'S LIVING ROOM. ROCKESTE~ IS TYPING A SCRIPT FROM NOTES. ( o_E3 HE TAKES 0UT TYPED SHEET, BEGINS TO READ NOTES. ROCHESTER Mr. Benny sure put a let of personal information in this story of his life. • Well, I better read his notes before I tyDe any more. (READING THE NOTES) .... when I was eight years old, I received my first violin. Two years later I left Waukegan and attended the Conservatory at Chicago. ROCHESTER DOES A TAKE ROCHESTER Conservatomy~ Ham...Maybe Mr. Benny did go To a ~onservetory. Nobc4y oa~ conserve like he does without taking lessons. ~1~01 033591~
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ROCHESTER SeVeral years later I entered the Navy. Durlng my first week st camp I was t~mc~n into the brig for t~]subordination. Failure to salute a superior. How c~n you tell an officer when hers taking a shower? HE DOES A TAKE Yep, ROCHESTER thatls what he Bald, that's what the man said, he said that~ HE STARTS TO TYPE AGAIN. JACK ENT~. (APPLAUSE) JACK Rochester, hew are things going? ROCHESTER Fine. Almost finished, Boss. JACK LoPICKING UP SOME TYPED PAGF$ AND Rochester, look at the way you're typlng... Some of the words are so light I can ~ardly read them. ROCHESTER Well, boss, I've been telling you the same thlng for t~o yea2s. Buy a new ~ibboo. JACK Why should I buy a new ribbon? -6- BA F~I:RO 1 0335915
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7¸ BA -7- RCC}R~ST~ Because. Taking off the old one and dipping it in grape juloe is ridlculous. JACK Just hit th~ keys a little harder and eve~ythlng will be all right. You kno~, I'm co excited about doing the story of ~y l~fe, lJm going down to C.B.S. tod~y and do some casting. ROCHESTER Why don't you proof-read as much as we've got? JACK Yes, I better do that. SCRIPT) "The Life of Jack Benny"... Scene One ... The waltln~ room of the Waukegan Maternity Hospltal. Suddenly, the 4eo2 leading f2om the dellve~ room opene and the doctor steps into the room. Jack's father, excitedly grabbing the doctor by the lepels..."Doctor, Doctor..what Is it?" Doctor..."It's a boy." Jack's father - "A boyl That's wonderful. I'll cell him Jackle. Ho~ much do I owe you?" Doctor - "Nothing, Jaokle already pald me." (LOOKING UP FROM T~E SCP~FT) Eochester, this isn't the way I ~o~te it. Who Dut that in? ATHO~ 03359~6
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u~. ~ ~ ,~.. ,.. ....... ~ _~ _Z¸ -8- ROCHESTER I dld. I thought we should start off with a laugh, JACK Oh, for heavsns sakes, when you do a program, you don't bare to get l~ughs as long as you're interesting. d ROCHESTE~ We were interesting with Jello and they ~roppe~ us. JACK Oh, stop, will you. WE HEAR THE DOOR BUZZ~ JACK You keep typing. I'll get it. JACK GETS UP AND ANSWERS THE DOOR. IT IS DON WILSON AND T~ SPORTS~N. DON & SPORTS~ JACK Hello, Don, and the Sportsmen. Come on DON ENTERS FOLI~ By THE SPORTSMEN. JACK Sit down, Don, I want to tell you something. I finally finlshcd writing the story of my llfe. In fact, Rooheste~ is typing it. BA
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7" ir' .I Y Oh, it? "DON that's wonderful. -9- Do you mention me in JACK Well, certainly. I really dramatized it...when yo~ first came to work for me in those early days in rsdlo. Remember -- I gave you five dollars a week, and yo~ meals. Remember that, Don? DON yeah. Gosh, I wish I had that deal again. JACK Well, you'~e not going to get it, brother, With you, dinner could be a capital gain. Did you get a commercial idea like I asked you? DON Tbat'B why I brought the boys over. We got a sensationsl idea to fit in with the openin~ of the story, and it's all about you. JACK About me? Well, let's hear it, fellows. WE HFAR THE DOOR BUZZER JACK Hold it, Don, the~els someone at the door. JACK ANSWERS THE DOOR, DTIS A WESTERN UNION MAN. BA ATN01 0335918
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7 f "V -lO- MAN Telegram for Mr. Jack Benny. JACK I'll take it. JACK TAKES THE TELEGRAM, LEAVING T~ DOOR OPEN, AND EXCITEDLY STEPS BACK INTO THE ROOM, WHILE OPENING THE TELEGRAM. JACK (EXCIteDLY) ~ Don..Don, it's from the Mayor of Waukegan. It's an answer to a letter I wrote him. You see, I ~ant him to be on this television show. DON No kidding. JACK Gosh, let's see what he says. MFARWHII~, THE TEI~GRAHEMANHASWALKE~3 INTO THE ROOM, AND STA~ NEXT TO JACK. JACK (READING) "Deer Mr. Benny, it is a great honor and privilege to represent the City of Waukegan in the story of your llfe." Well~ ( CONTINUE~ RFADING) "To asslst me In formulating s suitable speech, ~. Benny, please send me the following inform~tlon...When were you born in Weukegan?.. How long did you llve he~e...Wheu did you leave, and what type of business are you lu?'~ .... Hmm. BA ~]'~01 0335919
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BA -ll- DON Jack, he doesn't even know you. JACK He does too~ He was always s groat kidder. (NOTICES T}~W]EBTERNUNIONMAN STANDING NEXT TO HIM) Are you still here? MAN d I hate to mention it, but when one delivers s telegram, it's customary for one to get a tip. JACK Oh, oh, of course...How much do you usually get? MAN Well, that's up to you. I wouldn't want to influence you In any way. JACK Well, let's see -- MAN Uh..do you miud if I use the phone 8 minute? JACK No, go right ahead, MAN WALKS OVER TO PHONE AND DI&IS. MAN Hello, Martha..thls is Herman..How's Graudm~?.. Not any better, huh? (STARTS TO SI~FFI~) Well, what can we do? We can't afford medlclue for the baby, either. But Ma~tha, if we spend that money on medicine, we won't be able to buy any food. (BTARZ~ TO CRY) What? ( MORE ) ~T~O~ 0335920
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J__ MAN (CONTD.) The l~ndlord was over?..What did he say?... He~s only gonna give us two more ~ys, ~h? ...Well, I'll try to see what I can do, Ma~tha...Keep ~p youP oourage....Goodbye, Martha. M~N HANGS UP, AND KEEPS SOBBING. JACK Control yourself, control yourself..Here~ I've got a t~p for you. MAN Gee, thanks, Mister. I -- Oh, ~o..no! JACK What.s the matter? MEL For a lousy dime I just ~asted a routine I could have used on S~rlke It Rich. HE STALKB OUT OF THE ROOM, SLAMMING THE DOOR ISEHIF~D H~LM. JACK Ko~ do you llke that? DON Jack, you mean you only gav~ him a dime? ROC~TER He didn't go to a conservatory fo~ nothing. JACK Oh, neve~ mind. BA A~O] 033592]
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k ROCHESTER (HANDING THE PAGES TO JACK) Here you are, boss~ I finished .typing the script. JACK 0h, good. Now I can go down to C.B.S. DON But, Jack, the boys ~ant you to hear the idea they have for the story of ~lour llfe. JACK 0h, yes, yes. Let's hear it, Don, DON fellows .... take it. Okay, THE SPORTSMEN DO " (APPIAUSEJ -13 - BA F1 ]~" ~0 1 0335922
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QUARTETTE: GU~NEY: (v2P) JACK: JACK: OUI~NEY: JACK: MG -14- YOU MUST HAVE BEEN A BEAUTIFUL BABY YOU MUST }~VE ~ A WONDERFJL CHILD, WHEN YOU W~ ONLy STARTING, TO GO TO KINDERGARTEN I'LL BET YOU DROVE THE LITTLE GIRL8 WILD. AND WHEN IT CAME TO WINNING BLUE RIBBONS YOU MUST HAVE SHOWN THE 0T}~R KIDS HOW I CAN S~ YOUR BIG BLUE EYES AS THEY HANDED yOU TP~ PRIZE I'LL BE~ YC~ MADE T~ CUTEST BOW. OH YOU MUST HAVE B~N A BEAUTIFJL BABy, BUT BRIBER LOOK AT YOU NOW. JACK: They call me Stinky. BUT BROTK~R, LOOK AT YOU NOW. WE GOTTA HAVE A LUCKY CO~4ERCIAL WE GOTTA HAVE A LUCKYSTHI~ SONG An THAT WAS OUR INT~TION, ~JT NOW WE HAVE TO MENTION THAT SOMETHING ~ A LITTLE BIT WRONG. JACK: Oh, fine. WE COULDN'T FIM0 A RHYME FC~ TOBACCO THAT SAID IT'S BErT~ TASTING, An HOW: WE TRT~n EVEEYTHING, YOU S~, EVEN LS M FT. WE THOUG~ THAT TEAT WOULD WORK SOMEHOW SO WE GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO SEeP T~ CGV~ERCIAL UP A LUCEX ow. (MO E) A]'~OI 0335923
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i JACK: COME ON AND JOIN US. LRTIS LIGHT A LUCKY RIGHT N0~:. JACK: ZTIS BRTTER TOASTED. LLT~S LIGHT A LUCKY EIGHT NOW. (THEY ALL EXIT OUT FRONT DOOR AS JACK GRABS HIS COAT) -15 - MG RT;RO 1 0335.~2,~
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-16- (APTI~q SPORTSMEN'S NUMBER, WE OPEN ON --) JACK'S OFFICE AT TELEVISION CITY. AMONG OT~ER THINGS, T~ERE ARE TWO DESRE. A SMALL ORE gRD A LARGE ORE. A GIRL, MISS CORDON, SITS AT TRE SMALL ORE. THE PHONE RINGS AND SHE ANSWERS IT. MISS CORDON (INT0 PHONE) Television City. Mr. Benn~,s office. Yes, Mr. Benny is holding auditions today, but he isn,t here yet. I'm expecting him shortly. Thank you, 1,11 toll him. AS MISS GORDON HANGS UP, JOE BESSER COMES IN. HE IS DRESSED AS A C.B.S. PAGE BOY. BESS~R 0h~ I'm SO nervous. Hasn't Mr. Benny come in yet? MISS GORDON Not Net, Joe. Take it easy. BEggER Take it easy.,.take it easy. Well, where is he?...He sent out a call for casting, and people are waitln~. They,re gettingim~tlent. MISS GORDON Well, he called and he,ll be here any minute. BESSER Well, why didn't you say so? Nobody ever tells me ~ Eve~ythlng,s such a big aecretL You know, sometimes...0h, boy... BESSEE EXITS. JACK I~NTERS FROM THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE OFFICE. JACK Hello, Miss Gordon. ~1"M01 0335525
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-17- MISS GORDON Wello~ Mr. Benny. Several ~eople are waiting in the outer office in answer to your cast~ng MG call. Good, good. JACK you can step outside and send them in as I ask for them. MISS GO.ON ( GETTING UP FROM DESK WITH A SHEET OF PAPER) I made up ~ list of all the characters you have to cast. It looks llke it's going to be an expensive show. JACK (TAEXNG Tlfl~ LIST) Let ~ see... (Pa iNo) An actor to play ~y father...an actress to play my mother...an actor to play the doctor...someone to play me when I was a boy...F~, this will be expensive .... (}~ TAKES A PENCIL O~ T}~ DESK A~0 CROSSES OUT sOMETHING) MISS GORDON Mr, Benny, you crossed out the doctor. A~en,t yo~ going to hire an actor Zo play the part of the doctom? JACK NO...I'll send for a real one and charge it to the Blue Cross .... Let,s see, what else is here.. ~]MO| 0335926
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THE DOOR OPENS AND BE~SER ENTERS. BESSER Miss Gordon, if M~. Benny doesn,t get here soon --- ( N~ICING JACK) 0h, there you sine, Why didnJt you say you ~e~e there. You,re a sneak. JACK 0. Oh hello, Joe -- Look, Joe... BESSER I,m getting blamed for everyShing....It's about time yon got here: waiting. I l~now, I kno~. The aotoms a2e JACK Now, Joe, you take this script up to Mimes and have them make moz~ coples...and hurry. JOE Hurry, hurry...everybody wants me to hurry,. hurry here, hurry there...when I die, I can just see my funeral,.evezTbody'll he on motorcycles. ~MAKES QUICK GESTUF~.S WITH HANDS ~J~ILE MAKING SOU~k5 OF 0TORCyOLES WITH LIPS, AS HE EXITS. JOE Oh, sometimes I wlsh... -18 - MG ~ k !:,¸ .f~!ii~ ~ :,L ~ .~:, • ~T~01 033592?
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-19 - JACK If he didn, t help breathe up so much smog, I,d get rid of him. JACK GOES %ROU~D DESK, BITS D~N A~D PRESSES THE BtFTON ON THE INTERCCM. JACK Miss Gordon, send in an actor to audition for the part of the father. THE DOOR 0FE~B A~ A NICE LOOKING MAN ENTERS. JACK Come right in and sit down. THE MAN NODS POLITELY, STEPS OVER TO T~ SIDE DESK AND SITS D0~NI JACK (PICI~ING UP A PENCIL TO MAE~ NOTES) NOw, you' re here to audition for the part of my father, you,re about the right height. What is your name? MAN Kevin O,Hoolahsn. JACK LOOES AT P~M..THEN PRESSES THE BUTTON 0NT~E I~TERCOM. JACK Next! (TO MAN) Don, t feel too badly about it, Mr. O'Hoolahan...Barry Fitzgerald won't get the part either. THEY SHAEE HANDS AND THEMANEXITS THROUGH T~DOORAT OT~E SIDE OF ROOM. MISS GORDON~T~S FROM T~ IN~q OFFICE. ~" MG ATX01 0335928
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-20 - MIS3 GOKDON Mr. Benny, there ~ren, t any more actors here to audition for the part of your father. JACK 0h...(L00KING AT A pAPER ON HIS DESK) Let me see...0h yeS.o.I want to east the part of Mildred Holmquist. MISS GORDON Mildred Holmquls t ? JACK yes. That's the glrl I had my first crush on back in Waukegan. Gosh... Mild1~ed Holmquist...she wasn,t very pretty, but there was something that attrBoted me to her. Of course, Mildred was much younger than I was. Do you have any girls out there? MISS GORDON Yes...one. 1,11 send her in. JACK Good. MISS GORDON STEPS TO T~ DOOR, OPENS IT AND MOTIONS FOR TRD GIRL TO E~ER. MISS GOEDON Will you come in, please? A SEXY-LOOKING DAME SHINES I~T0 THE OFFICE. S~ IS WEARING A VERY TIGHt, FORM-FITTING DRESS. MISS GORDON EXITS. MG AT.~O 1 0335929
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-21- ( Oc PEf ) Hello..Mr. Benny. GIRL JACK Hello. ~JACK TAK~ GLASSES OUT OF pOCKET, FUTS THEM ON, TAK~ TI~4 OFF ND wIPES T}~I, A~D PUTS T~4 ON AGAIN, TH~ SAYS): JACK Hello. GIRL Would it be all right if I sat down? JACK Well...you know that dress better than I do. THE GIRL SLII~{S O~ TO THE CHAIR AND SITS DOWN. GIRL I understand that I'm to audition for the part of yo~ first girlfriend. JACK Yes. Her name was Mildred Holmquist. GIRL Well...am I the type? JACK No, but I'm willing to re-wrlte the part. (SILLy LAUGH) That is...l mean...Mildred wa__~s an attractive girl. I remember the firs~ time she kissed me...it was very exciting. MG 8IM01 0335930
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-~2- GIRL (STEPPING OVER TO JACK Ak~ SITTING ON HiS LA2) Did she kiss you like this? SHE G/VES H/~ A LONG KISS. DURING THE ~SS, MISS GORDON P~-F~ER3 WITH PAPERS IN ~A~D. JACK AND GIRL TART. JACK I~ NUMB. THE PBOHE RINGS. MISS GORDON ANSWERS IT. MISS GO~90N I1ello? (LOOKING AT JACK) No, you can. t talk to him now. He's reminiscing. Very well, 1.11 tell him when be comes to, SHE BANGS UP AND E~XTS. GIRL Well, Mr. Benny, do I get the part? JACK The part?!~ What part?? Oh, yes, you,d get the paint if your name was Kevln 0 'Hoolah~n ... Now don,t worry about the part...we,ll r~hearse every day. GIPJJ Thank you. Goodbye, Mr. Benny. JACK Goodbye. GIRL EXITS. JACK FP~NSSES INT~COM BUTTON. JACK Miss Gordon. THE DOOR OFENS A~D MISS GORDON Eh~ERS. MISS GORDON Yes, M~. Benny? MG ~THOI 0335931
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JACD Miss Gordon, the girl is all set to play the part of my girlfriend Mildred Holmquist. The young lady who was Just in here is going to play it. MISS GORDON Cau she act? JAC~ I'll leave that to my dlrector....Let's see, no~ I have to cast someone to play me as a little boy ... and also an elderly lady to play the part of my mother. MISS GORDON Which one would you llke to cast first? JACK Er...my mother. MISS GORDON Yes, slr. SHE TURNS TOWA}~DD00RAND BECKONS OFF SCENE. Would you come in, please? OlD LADy ENTERS. MISS GORDON EXITS. JACK Would you sit down? OlD LADy How do you do? Thank you. MG (SHE SITS DOWN) JACK Now, you.re here to audition for the part of my mother. i~•~ :~ ~ ~i¸ !~ ~)~ RT~01 -23- 033_5932
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OLD LADY That's right. And I feel that I could play the part very well, because I came from Waukegan, too. JACK What a coinoldence. What,s your name? OLD LADY Mildred Holmquist. JACK (Anm A lDNG TAm) (STUDS UP) Mildred Holmqulst, Mildred'...Don't you reo ognlze me? THE OID LADy TAKES OUT }~ GLASSES FROM HER FJRSE, WALKS 0VRR FOR A BETTER LOOK. OLD LADy (WITH SUDDEN RECOGNITION) Why, Stinky Benny: JACK It's so nice seeing you again. What are you doing in California? OLD LADY I'm visiting m~ grandson. JACK Wonderful~ .... Well, Mildred, the part is yours, and I'll see you at rehearsal. OLD LADy ( GETTING UP) Thank you, Jack. THEY G0 TO DCOR. MG -24 - PUTS T~ ON, ~]'X01 0335933
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7¸ -25- JACK 0h, Mildred, before you go, do you remember the time when I asked your father for your hand? 01D LADY Yes, I hod a dollar in it. JACK Yes, I know. Well, goodbye. THE 0ID LADy F~XTS. JACK PRESSES T}~ INTERCOM BUTTON. JACK Miss Gordon, send in the little boy. DOOR OPENS ARD MISS GORDON BRINGS IN JIMMY BAIRD. MISS GORDON Mr. Benny, this is Ji~y Baird. He's been in pictures, radio, and television. JACK Hello, Jimmy. Hi. M~SS GORDON EXITS. JIMMy JACK Sit down, Jimmy. JIMMY SITS IN CHAIR. JACK Did they explain the pamt that I'm casting? JI~Z~Y Yes, Mr. Benny. I'm supposed to play the part of you when you were a little boy. ,! MG AT~401 0335934-
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-~6- That's right. well. Thank you. . JACK And I think you'll do very JACK Now, of course, we,ll have to discuss salary before we sign m contract. Do you have your mother o~ your father with you? JIS~4Y No, sir, they,re not here. JACK Oh. (}~ GIVES JI~VD/ A LOLLY POP) Now, about salemy... JIMMY you'll have to discuss that with my agent. JAOK 0h...0h...you have an agent? JIMMY Yes, sir, and he's here with me. JACK Oh. (}~ TAKES BACK LOLLY POP) JACK PRESSES INTERCOM BUTTON. J 0K Miss Gordon, send in Jin~y,s agent. THE DOOR 0PE~S, MISS GORDON STEPS IN, THEN TURNS. MG AT~O'! 0335935
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U + i -27- MISS GORDOH This way, please. HARRY SHEARER F~EBS, CARRYING A BRIEF CASE. JACK (SURPRISI~3 BUT NOT TOO UNHAPPY) you' re...You' re Jimmy, s agent? HARRY Yes sir...the name is Harry Shearer. (TO J]~4Y) Sit over there, I'll take over here. }~ STEPS 0V~R TO JACK'S DESK, AND %-ERY BUSINESS-I~KE OPENS HIS BRIEF CASE. JACK (TO MISS GOESON) Isn't he cute? MISS GORDON SMILES AND EXITS. HARRY Now, M~. Benny, I understand you want to use my client on one of you~ television shows. JACK (COYLY) Yes...yes, I do. Now, you being Ji~my,s agent...how much do you think I should pay him. That is, what do you think would be a fair salary? HARRY Two thousand dollars. JACK (AMAZe) Two...thousand...dollars? MG ATX01 0935936
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~ ;J HARRY Do you s~ill think I'm cute? JACK LOOKSAT AUDIENCE, TH~TURNSBACK TO HARRY. HARRY Well, don't 8tandthere bleeding, say something. JACK Now wait a minute'.. Two thousand dollaPs... that's a lot of money, why, your client is an unknown. He should come on my program for nothing. Think of the opportunities. If he,8 on my show, he'll be seen by millions of people. I'll make a big star out of him~ Why do you realize... HARRY Save it! We,ve gone through all that with Eddie Cantor! JACK I still say two thousand dollars is a lot o£ money. HARRY Sure it is, but you,re not getting an amateur. My client h~ spent h~ whole llfe in television. JACK His whole life? HARRY Sure, he was born on The Medic program. MG m -28- 0335'932
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~9- JACK Well, that I don't believe, The Medic has been on less than a year. JIMMY Harry, I told you we were stretching it. HARRY You stay out of thisZ (TO JACK) How about it, Mr. deal or not? Benny, do we have a JACK Well..I don't know.., anyway, donIt rush me ... let me think a minute. }[~RRY All right, but while you're thinking, do you mind if I look ove~ the clauses in the contract? JACK No no, not at all. (LOOKING AT TKE DESK) The contract...the contract... JACK PUTS ON ~S GLASSES. JACK Oh, here it is. WHILE HE HOLDS OUT THE CONTRACT FOR HARRY, HARRY TAKES OUT A PAIR OF GLASSES, EXACTLY LIKE JACK'S, AND PUTS T}~ ON. JACK H~m. HARRy TAKES T~ CONTRACT FROM JACK AND STARTS LOOKING IT OVER. MG .I¸ . A I",NO'I 0335938
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MG -30 - HARRY Hnml ..... F~nm. JACK What,s the ma~ter? HARRY I'd llke to odd some things to this contract. HARRY Any time my client rehearses for over two bo~r8t and a half• Time and a- - - I want him to be paid time JACK HARRY And should rehea~al go beyond six o~clook, then you have to pay for his dinner. JACK I have to pay for his - - - HARRy Also, taxi fare to and from the studio. JACK Wait a minute•. °first you want two thousand dollars for his appearance. . .now you want time and a half for rehearsals...free dinner • ..and taxi fare. Well, let me tell you somethlng...you are without a doubt, the most grasping, greedy, conniving, and miserly person I ever met! R T,'KO 1 033593'9
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!v< -31 - HARRY ..... wel___!iZ HARRY HOLDS THE POSE TO THE AUDIENCE..THEN TURNS HIS }~AD TOWARD JACK. JACK HARRY Come on,'Jinm%y, we eau,t do any business here. JACK Wait...wait...wait a minute...Don't go ...I just made up my mind. JACK PRESSES T}~ I~TRRCOM BUTTON. JACK Miss Gordon, would you come in and witness the signing of a contract, please? MISS GORDON ENTERS. MISS GORDON (TO JACK) I'm so 61ad you found someone to play you when you were a boy. (STEPPING OVER TO SHAE~ HANDS WITH JIMMY) _ Con~ratulatlons, Jimmy. JACK NO no, not him. (POINTING TO HARRY) Him____!.' -~il MG ~r~ol O3359z~O
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/ Him? boy? Am I sure3 and blood; MISS GORDON Are you sure you'ro casting the right JACK This kid could be my own flesh Oomo on, Hsmry, letrs sign -32 - the contract. HARRY Just call me Blue Eyes. AS THEY SIGN THE CONTP~CT, JIMMY ANDMISS GO~DONLOOK ON, AND THE CURTAIN COMES DOWN. DON Jack will be back in just a minute, but first -- (OUT TO CLOSING CON~iE~CIAL) MG -- Jii~ R1~01 03S5941
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T}~ AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY T~ JACK BENNY pROGRAM NOVEMBER 28, 1954 CLOSING C 0~IERCIAL TITLE IS ON SCREEN• TITLE BURST WIPES REVEALING %40 PACKS. "NOW 2 WAYS" APPEARS ABOVE PACES AND "REGULAR" AND "FILTER" TITLES APPEAR BELOW PACES IN SYNC WITH VOICE... TITLES FADE OUT. "BOTH KING SIZE" TITLE "WITH (~NUINE CORK TIP" TITLE POPS ON IN VOICE SYNC• • •TITLES FADE. FILTER PACK MO'v-/~ FORWARD TO ~JLL SCReeN AS CORK TIP PACK FADES, STRIFES APPEAR ON BACKGROUND. "NEW SELECTIVE* FILTER" POPS ON PACK IS SY~C WITH VOICE, ASTERISK JUMPS OFF Ah~ TRAVELS TO NE2Y FRAME. ASTERISK SPINS FROM "SELECTIVE" AROUND FILTER A~3 APPEARS BESIDE "PAT~S PENDING. " COPY ON PATENTS FERDING ROLLS ON SCREEN, THREE LINES AT A TIME. DISSOLVE TO FILTER PACK WITH STRIPES IN BACKGROU~• "NEW SELECTIVE FILTEr" TITLE APPEARS ACROSS CENTER OF PACK IN SYNC WITH VOICE• MG -33- ANNCR Good news for filter tip smoke~s~ Herbert Ta~eyton is now two ways ... regular and filter. • . . both king size, genuine cork tip• both with Tareyton, s famous quality •.. now comes to you with the new Selective* filter ... the only filter of its kind° An entirely new concept in cigarette filtration. A filter tip of purified cellulose, incorporating Activated Charcoa______~l, a filtering substance world-famous as a purifying agent, notably for air, water and beverages. Tareyton, s new Selective Filter ... .... has unusual powers of selectlvlt~ which holds back elements that can detract from the pleasure of smoking. (MORE) R]H01 033S9~2
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~F T~ AMBRICA~ TOBACCO COMPANY THE JACK B~NY PROGRAM NOVEMBER 28, 1954 CLOSING C0~RICAL CONT'D "REAL FILTRATION" TITLE APPEARS ACROSS C~IER OF PACK IN SYNC WITH VOICE AND CIGARETTES POP OUT OF PACK ONE AT A TIME. "SMOKING SATISFACTION" TITLE APPEARS iN SYNC WIT}[ VOICE BELOW "REAL FILTRATION." CIRCLE IS DOTTPE ON SCREEN AROUND STRIPLES ON CIGARETTE PACK AND HOLDS. CIRCLE POPS OFF PACK, LEAVING FILTER PACK WITH CIGARETTES IN VIEW AND STRIPE BACKGROUND. "SUP~RIOR FILTER'' AND "POPULAR FILTER PRICE" POP ACROSS CENTER OF PACK IN SYNC WITH VOICE. xAr~OR (O0/~2'D) The smooth easy-drawing Tareyton filter gives yo~ real filtration ... and .smoking satisfaction. Look for the r_ed_ed, white end blue stripes on the package ... they identify the best in filtered smoking ... Herbert Ta~eyton. The onnl~filter with a genuine cork tip. Eerbert Tareyton is a s~oerio~ filter at a o]~__~ filter price. MG ATX01 03-t $9,~ 3
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-35- ( AG) (AFI~ER C0~RCIAL, JACK COMES OUT TO MUSIC Ah© AppLAUSE) JACK 3us~ found out we,re in a terrific rush because the half hour is about over. I,ll be back in two ~eeks, and be sure and watch Ann So~the~n. Good night, J MG f~T ~0"1 03359~
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\ ,L (CREDITS) CARD #4 JACK BENNY PROGRAM CARD #5 DIRECTS) BY RALPH LEVY CARD #6 PRODUCED BY I~LLIAF~ ~RE~ CARD #7 WRITTEN BY CARD #8 4 MUSIC & SETS cAED JACK BENNY PROGRAM MEMO CARD #10 CUT TO CAED #ii JACK BENNY PROGRAM S~T~ -36- DON Appearing on tonlght~s program were Mel Blanc, Joe Besser, Jean Willes, Leigh gnowden, Dick Ryan and Hallene Hill. Remember - one week from tonight, on this same station, Ann Southern returns in "Private Secretary." Jack Benny.s next television show will be in two weeks. In the meantime be sure to listen Zo Jsc~ Benny on radio every Sunday night over the CBS Radio Network, The Jack Benny program has been brought to you by Lucky Strike, product of the American Tobacco Company, Amerlca. s leading manufasturer of cigarettes. This is Don Wilson, saying; ~'BE RAPPY, GO LUCKY." MG FIf ,~01 033 ~.q. 45
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'~A~ BROADO~T" DECEMBER 12, 1954 THE AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE T~ JACK ~N~ff TEL~VISION PROGRAM CBS 4:30 - 5:00 I~ PST CAST : JACK BENNY ROCHESTER DON WILSON SPORTSMEN QUARTET ROY GLENN F~ NEL$0N SBELDON LEONARD BENNY HUBIN ABTIE AUERBACK ELDERLy IADy ..... MAJOR]~ BRNNETT COOE3~ O~qL ...... J~ EARLE MOTHER ........... ANN DOPAN OLDER CHIID ...... BEVERLy WASHBURN LITTLE CHILD ..... DANNY HIOHARDS Extras :Betty Rome Ohna Ccnnors I~thleen OtMalley Nancy Duke Jeanne Blackfor~ Laura Anders Sheila M111er Leota Lc~ralne Pat Van Every FTank MoLure Don Durant Hans Moebus ChaPles ShePidan Susan Patrlola Miller Scot VanE very David DeF~ven {) T'~{O '1 03359~%?
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¥ Tb~ A~ ,ih~ICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCIVf STRIKE T.~J JACK BENNY TV SHOW OPENING CO~I~RCIAL - TD4E i:00 CUT TO TITLE CARD: "TBE JACK BENNY PROGRAM." CUT TO TITLE CARD: "PRESENTPD BY LUCKY STRIKE" CUT TO TITLE CARD: 11~w VT~l~r?xr ?~ TTT~?XT LUCI~IES TASTE BETTER." OPEN -i- LIVE (MUSIC: LUCKY STRIKE T}~24E UP AND U~DER---) ANNOL~$CEH :! F~om Televlslon City in Fmlly~ood, the J~ck Benny Pro~ra~l. presented by Lucky Strlkel (MUSIC : VAMp AND BE }'~PPY-- CUT TO: RT'~01 O3359~8
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T-~ A~RICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUOIOZ STRIKE FZI/4 CO~,IERCIAL (AUCTION) (REVIS~D~ WITH "IT,S TOASTED" STORY) 1:30 #86 OPEN ON LUCKY PACK IN L]~IBO. }~AD ON SHOT. CUT TO [~K~I~4 SHOT DOWN ROW OF TOBACCO I~AVES. MAN IS WALKING FROM CAMEra.. (FIE SHOT #1#-l) CI~ TO ~EDI~I SHOT OF P~LNDS GOING ~HEOU~H Z~A~S TO DO Tim LOOPING m0CFgS. (vn~ sno~ #31-2) CVf TO MEDIUM SHOT OF OPEN BARN DOOR, SHOWIN,3 STAOI~ STIO~ 0H BAClm INSIOE (F~ SHOT #41-1) opEN -9- Am~OU~C~R (v.o.) ~]at makes a Lucky taste better. A Lucky2s better taste begins on the fa~. Yes, better taste be~lus ... with fine tobacco. NaturallX light, mild, good-tastlng tobacco ... ... tobacco that gets careful handling ... from the very moment it is plcked ... ... tobacco that gets expert curing In the barns ... CUT TO ~iI~ SHOT OF GRADER SELECTING TOBACCO LEAVES. TEIS SHOT SHOWS HA~S AND LEAVES ONLy. SLOW DISSOLVE TO AUCTION SCENE. (PICKS UP FROM TV 46-A). GROUP OF BUYERS AND WAREHOUS~4EN AROL~ AUCTIONEER A~D BASKETS OF LE~. CUT TO BUYERS ONLY. T_~N MOV~ IN ON ONE. HE PICES UP BUNDLES OF LEAVES FROM ~%SKET, EXAMINES IT, TOSSES IT BACK. ... tobacco that gets sharp-eyed grading accom~lng to its quality. And then -- the tobacco reaches one of the most colorful and exciting events in tobaccoland. The auction! (sou~: ~ IN L~DER) ANNOUNCI~ Thls is a typical auction where tobacco is publicly sold - sold to the highest bidder. There an ale~t tobacco buyer has found s basket of exceptional quality. (MORE) 8TH01 03359@9
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T~ AMF~ZCAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY ~TRS~ AU mN) 86 MCU OF BUYER SIGNALliNG BZID, Tf]!CN TWO OR THREE BUYERS, BIDDING BY SIGNAL, PASS BY CAMERA. CUT TO CLOSEUP OF AUCTIONEH~. CUT TO CLOSEUP OF BASKET OF TOBACCO BEING TICKETED WITK CARD MARKED "A". A MAN'S HANDS HOLD OUT ~WO LEAVES. QUICK DISSOLUTE TO ANDRE. HE IS HOLDING UP PACK OF LUCK]~S. OPEN -3- Ammm on He signals his bid. But other buyers want this prLme, llght leaf. The prloe ~oes higher and highe~ -- but when the top bid is resale, it is SOLD ... (SOUND: BRING CHANT UP FULL) AUCTIONeeR (CHANT ENDING WITZ ... "Sold American:" (UNDER FOR) mRUOM (V.O.) • .. sold to the American Tobacce Company, the makers of Luck~ Strike, another basket cf fine, naturally gcod-tastlng tobacco. (ON CAMERA) You know, there,s something "extra" thet happens to Luckles, fine tobaccc just before it,s made into Luck~ Strlke clgarettes. Somethln~ that makes it taste so much better. IT,S TOASTED tc t~ste better. (MORE) fll'~O'l 0335950
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T~ ~R~Ai~ TOBAcco O~IpAiq~ ~rLUCK~ STR]~ AUCTION) 86 CUT TO TIGI~ SI;0T OF WORDS ON PACK. DISSOLVE TO CLOSEUP OF PACK IN LIMBO. oz,~N -~- (owa) IT'S TOASTID is" the f&mous Lucky StP1ke process that tones up the tobacco ... brln6s It to lt8 peak of flavor ..0 makes It taste even better. Cleaner{ fresher, smoother. So, f~lends, Be Happy -- "lq~'S TOASTED" ZOOMS UP FROM PACK TO SUPER ABOVE PACK. "TO TASTE BETTER" POPS ON BEneATH PACK. Remember: "Itls Toasted" -- taste better3 to %. RT~01 0335951
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/ -1- (AFTER COMMERCIAL, WE OPEN ON... SCENE: KITCI~N OF JACK'S HOUSE. AFTER WE ESTABLISH THE KITCHEN, JACK ENTERS THROUGH THE DOOR LEADING TO THE LAVING ROOM. HE IS WEARING A DUST CAP AND APRON..HIS PANTS 12/3S ARE RO~ UP AND HE IS CARRYING A MOP AND BUCKET. K8 PUTS DOWN THE BUCKET AND STARTS MOPPING THE, FLOOR. AFI~R A FEW SWABS, HE STOPS. JACK Hmm..I didnlt know a floor could get this dirty. HE SWIS}~S SOME MONE, TNEN STOPS A/~ W~PES HIS BROW Wlq~i HIS ~DREAFM. JACK Whew~ What else Is on that list of thlng8 1 have to do? (TAKING A LIST WRITTEN ON A SLIP OF PAPER OUT OF HIS APRON POCKET, HE READS. ) I already dusted the bedroom, turned the mattresses, changed the linen on the beds, ... Oh well .... ( ~:ONE RINGSh JACK STEPS OVeR TO THE PRONE IN THE KITCHEN. JACK (INTO PHOHE ) Hello. CUT TO ROCHESTER IN A CORNER OF COUNTRY CLUB LOCKER ROOM. HE PHONE A~D IS DRESSED FOR GOLF, HOLDING A DRIVER NONCHALANTLY OVER HIS SHOULDF~. HT~O! 0335952
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-2- ,! EC ROCHEST~ Hello, Mr. Benny, this is Rochester... JACK Rochester, what do you want? ROCHESTER Oh, nothing. I thought I'd tell yen I just finished eighteen holes of golf. JACK Oh, you did, eh? ROCHEST~ Yeah...Did you wash the living room windows? JACK Yes, yes. ROCHEST~q Did you put out the gsrbage? JACK It's out, it's out. ROC}~STER Did you scrub the kltQhen floor? JACK I'm dolug it. ROCHESTER Good. When will dinner be ready? JACK Seven o'clock and it's the last time I play gln runm~ with you .... Rochester, let me ask you something: Why is it when we played thet game of cards, you insisted on wearing thBt Chinese kimono? A 1"~01 0'3'3~9~3
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ROCHESTER For three ~easons..Itrs becomi~g...it~s comfortsbl~..and with those big sleeves I Ga~Tt 1088. JACK Oh, so that was it. That's how you beat me.. The kimono wlth the big sleeves. ROCHBST~ Oh, boss, dou't get mad. I was just playlng a little joke on you. JACK Joke or no joke, I'ii remember that... Goodbye. JACK HANGS UP. JACK }~m..next time I play cards with him, I'm going to make su?e he -- JACK There's the doom. JACK GOES OFF SCENE T}~0UGH DOOR LEADING TO LIVING ROOM. THE FRONT DOOR 0P~. Oh, I'm sorry, DON'S VOICE (OFF SC~E) Madame, I thought this was -- JACK'S VOICE (OFF SC~IE) W~ }~AR Don, it's me...Come on in. (SOUND oF DOor CL0 n g) R ['~01 033595~
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-4- JACK AND DON ENTER THE Kl~CHEN...JACK STARTS CLEANING ~ FLOOR. DON Jack...Jack, why are o~ clean1~g the beuse? ~here~s Rochester? JACK Don, I1m in no mood t~ discuss If you want to stay be~e, quiet. Well! lt. NOW sit down and be DON I havenlt seen you this upset since 1933 when they closed the banks. JACK Closed the banks, closed the banks...I wasnTt exolted. A little ~usslan Roulette and you make a blg thing out o~ it...Now leave me alone. DON Jack, I don~t know what this is all about, but obviously, youlve been working too ha~d. Why don~t you sit down...take it easy... melax..Come on, fill Rlay ~ou a game oC cards..some gln ~ummy. A T'HO'I O~35955
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/ . J -5- JACK EXITS. CARDS, JACK Look, Don, I don't want to --- gin rbumny? DON Yes, Jack..come on..Where are the cards? JACK There's a deck right ~here in the drawer. Deal them out...I'll be ~ig~t back. DON PULYS OUT A DRAW]~ AND TAKES OUT A DEOK OF SITS DOWN AT THE TABLE, S}D~gTLES AND DEALS. DON Jack..come on. JACK Coming. JACK RE-ENTERS TEE ROOM AND WE SEE HE IS WEARING ROC}~STER'S CHINESE KIMONO. JACK 0kay, Don~ let's get going. DON Jack...what's the idea of that Chinese kimono? JACK This? Oh, I always wear this when I relax. You see, I play better when I'm comfortable. Come on, pick up your cards. DON & JACK PICK UP T~IR CARDS. DON (SURVEYING HIS CARDS F~PPIIX) Boy, what a hand I've got. ATe01 0335956
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~q / - j -6- JACK You're gonu~ need it, h~othsr.~ AS LDN AND JACK START PLAYING CARDS, ~ DISSOLVE TO -- IDCKER ROOM AT GOLF COURSE. ROCNDSTER IS SEATED ON A BENCH. LE HAS TAEEN OFF HIS GOLF SHOES AND IS PUTTING ON HIS REGULAR SROES, WHEN ROY GLENN ENTERS. ROY Ssy, Rochester, we ,re all wslting fo~ yoD. ~gsin. I chsnged my mind. I'm going back home. I just hate to stick M?. Benny with sll that housework. ROY But you plByed him s gs~e of gin rummy to get the dsy off. you won it fsir and square. ROCE~STER Well, cot exactly fsir snd squsre. wor~ e Chlnese kimono. ROY A Chinese kimono? ROCRESTEE Hee, hee, bee. ROY Whst ere you laughing st? RR ~T~01 033595,"
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• h • 7, r t -7- ROCH~ST~R At one time I hsd csrds so fsr up my sleeve I he8 to go sfter them with speir of chopsticks. ROY Oh, Rochester, you shouldn't do thet to Mr. Benny. ROCNEST2R We elw~ys use little tricks to win from eech other...Lest week we pleyed Scrsbble end he beet me with the word "Mshze It ov". ROY Well, Mshzeltov mesns Good Inok. ROCHESTER Not to me it didn't .... I better cell Mr. Benny end tell him ITm coming hom~. ROY Well, we'll go on srouud 8gslu. I'll see you, Rochester. AS ROCheSTER STEPS OVER TO THE WALL PHONE AND STARTS DIALING, WE CUT TO -- JACK'S KITC~N. JACK IS NOW ALONE AT THE TABLE, STILL D~ESSED IN TEE KIMONO, EATING A SANI~;ICH. THE PHONE RINGS. JACK (CALLING) Oh, Don....Don .... DON ENTERS PROM THE LIVING ROOM, ~S~D ~XACTLY AS JACK WAS WHEN J ~ NE WAS CLEANING...~UST CAP, APRON, HIS PANTS LEGS ROLLED UP, AND ~> CARRYING THE MOP AND BUCKET. nrgol 033595~
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-8- JACK Don, you're supposed to answer the phone j too. DON Oh .... ell right. (STEPPING O~ TO THE PHONE AND ANSWERING IT) Mr. BennyTs residence. Don, the downstsi~s ~Id Speskir~, o. ROCHESTER i S VOICE M~. Wilson, this is Rochester. Can I speck to Mr. Benny. DON Just e minute. Jsck, it's Rochester. He wsnts to talk to you. JACK Okay. JACK GETS UP AND GOES TO THE PHONE. JACK Hello. ROCHESTER' S VOICE Hello, Boss, I'm on my wsy home, JACK Well, it's 8bout time .... The Christmas Csrds hsven't been 85dressed yet, the gifts hsvsnlt been wrsppedj and the merketlng hssn't been done for our big Chrlstm~s dlnDe~. BR ~1:40 ! 033~5959
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• I J -eA- ROC~STER T S VOICE Well, if you like, I'll stop off st the market on my wmy home. JACK Oh no you don't, that's the easy wsy out. You oon~ home end address the chrlstmes cer~s...llll do the shopping. ROCHESTER'S VOICE Okay...snd don't forget to get s turkey. Remember whet hepper~d Thenksgivlug. It wee embsrrsssing. Eighteen people sitting 8round your teble 8n~ nothing to est but meshed potstoes end cranberry SeUO0 • JACK Rochester, I tried to get s turkey. ROCHESTER Well, this time buy one.,.you csurt deper~ on raffles. JACK All right, all rIght...goodbye, JACK HANGS UP, AND STARTS TAKING OFF THE KIMONO. JACK Let's see, I need to get s turkey... DON Whet do I hsve to do sfte~ I finish the dishes? BR ! I ATN01 0335960
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-9- JACK Well, you heve to wsx the floor then you hsve to wssh the kitchen windows, end clesn out the gersge. DON ( SARCA S~IC ) Is thet ell? JACK No, st seven o~clock you here to cook dinner for Rochester. He ordered hem hocks under 81sss .... I'm going to the msrketo..So long. AS DON FROWNS UNHAPPILY, WE ~ TO -- T~E SPORTSMEN COME OUT IN "ONE" ~ND DO A C0~ERCIAL BASED ON JACK GOING SHOPPING. "TH~ LITTLE PIGGY WE~T TO MARKET". I APPmUS~) BR R1H01 0335961
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: ! QUARTET TO MARKET WE MUST GO TO MA~T WE MUST GO HIGH THOUGH THE PHIOES BE TO MABEET WE MUST GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING, COUNTER HOPPING RUNNING HERE AND THERE HUSTLE, BUSTLE, BUSTLE ~STLE PEOPLE h~yWHERE. OH, HURRy MUEBY, BUY THAT TURKEY BUY IT BY THE POUND YOUR MONEY FLOWS LIKE WATER BUT IT MAKES A DIFFERENT SOUND (SOUND C~' OASHREGIST~R) CB QUARTET JINGLE JINGLE. THE MA~T WHERE WE SHOP IS PACKED FROM MORE TILL NIGHT THE PEOPLE LOVE TO PUSH AND SHOVE IT ~S E~ALLy QUIT~ A SIGHT YOU COTTA FIGHT YOUR WAY AROUND THE STORE AND HELP YOURSELF BET WHEN YOU GET WHERE YOU SHOULD BE THERE'S NOTHING ON T~ SHEIF (REACHING IN CAB AND HOLDING UP EACH ITEM AS THEY CALL IT) (M0 ) -gA - ~'~~01 0335962
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QUARTET (CONT 'D) PORK AND BEANS, TURNIP GREENS CHICKEN SOUP WITH RICE TRY TO FIND SOME BACON RIND OR COFFEE TEA OR SPICE CAVIAR BY T~ JAR, WHAT A RITZY STORE ~0RE YOU MOW YOU'VE SPENT YOUR DOUGH THREE HUNDRED BUCKS OR MORE (souND oF CASH RESISTER) (ROLLING OUT LONG SHOPPING LIST LIKE A PAPER TOWEL) STOP AND CRECK YOUR SHOPPING LIST BE SURE YOU DON'T FORGET BUY YOURSELF SOME LUCKY STRIKES THE TOASTED CIGARETTE YES, PUFF A LUCKY, PUFF A LUCKY WE KNOW YOU'LL AGREE LUCKY STRIKE MEANS FIRE TOBACCO iS~T ISM, IBM, IS~T IT'S A FRESKSR CIGARETTE THE ONLy SMOKE FOR ME, XES, WHEN YOU'RE pUFFIN', THERE IS NOTHIN' LXE~ A LUCKY STRIE~ ROUND AND FIRM AND FULLy PACKED IT'S LUCKIES YOU WILL LIKE. (APP[AUGE) "~ CB L -9B- AI-~01 0335963
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-10- SCENE: A ~JP~R MARKET CUSTOMERS ARE WALKING AROUND THE STORE, PUSHING THEIR WIRE BASKETS WITH CANNED GOODS, ETC. SO~ OF THE WOMEN FJSHIM3 BASKETS HAVE A LITTLE CHILD SITTING IN THE SEAT ATTAC~D TO TKE BASKRT. ~ WOM~N WITH CHII~EN REAPPEAR FROM TIME TO TIME. TWO WOMEN CUSTOMERS COME IN AND EACH EASILY TAKE A BASKET FROM A ROW OF BAS~S. JACK ENTERS T~ STORE AND CASUAILY PULLS AT ~ ~XT BASKET. IT WONrT CO~ OUT. BEGINS TO PULL AND YA~ AT THE BASKE~ WITH NO ~JCCESS. EVERYBODY IN T}~ MAR~ IS LOOKING AT HIM. ~ARRASSED~ JACK STOPS AND PULI~ GENTLy ON THE BASKET. IT COM~S OUT VERY E~SILY. JUST AS JACK IS GOING TO PUSH THE BASE~T TRROUGH THE MAE~ AN EL~/%LY LADY ENI~RS AND COMES UP TO JACK. ~%~RLY LA~ Do you mlnd? SHE WHEELS ~ BAS~T AWAY, LEAVING JACK STANDING THERE. JACK TAKES OFF HIS COAT AND BANDS IT TO BENNY EUBIN, THE FRUIT MAN, IN PREPARATION FOR ANOT}~R STRUGGLE. AT THIS TIME A BA~T POFS LOOSE AND ROLLS OUT IN FRONT OF JACK. RUBIN HANDS JACKIS COAT BACK TO HIM. JACK TAKES OUT A LYST AND BEGINS ~CKING IT. JACK Now let's see...wh~tls first? (READING FROM LIST) M~So Grssses Noodle Soup...D~d's 01d Feshior~d Root Beer....Grsndm~ ' s cookies...Gee, the whole fsmilyrs womking...A csu of corn...I think I~ll get thst first. A CLERK (FRANK NELSON) HAS BEEN WORKING HIS WAY TOWARD JACK, WORKING ON THE SHELVES OF CANNED O00DS. JACK TURNS TO HIM. BR ~1"~01 03~596~
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JF -ll- JACK Oh, Clerk - Clerk -- NEISON Yesmsss? JACK Hm. Clerk, where is the corn department? NELSON (STARING D~qECTLY AT JACK) I1m looking at it! JACK What? NEISON I saw that act 7ou put on with those baskets. JACK I wasn't putting on any act. It,s just that I... I couldn't pull those baskets apart. NEI~ON Well, that,s strange..Aren~t you Bernarr MacFadden? JACK Now, cut that out! All I want to know is where I can get a can of corn. NELSON Oh, all right. The canned vegetables are At the end of the Aisle. JACK Thank you. A]*~O'I 033S965
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-12- JACK PUSHES HIS BASKET TO THE END OF THE AISLE. }[E STOPS, PUTS A SMALL CAN OF CORN ]IN THE BASKET AND GOES A~OL~ BEHIND THE END OF THE COUNTER. ~N HE REAPPEARS IN THE NEXT AISLE, WE SEE ~E HAS SEVERAL OT}~R THINGS IN HIS BASKET. °HE PASSES SHELOON LEONARD, WHO IS LEANING AGAINST A SECTION READING A RACING FORM. SHELDON H1ya, bud. Huh? JACK S}ELDON Long time no see. JACK yeah yeah. JACK PUSHES HIS BASKET AWAY. JACK Everywhere I go I run into that race track tout. JACK PUSHES HIS BASKET TO A S~ff~L FRUIT AND V~DETABLE STAND WITH VARIOUS FRESH FRUITS AND VIDETARLES ON DISPLAY. BENNY RUBIN IS TENDING TKE STAND... '~ RUBIN (SLIGHT ACOENT) You like to buy some fruit maybe? JACK Yes...yes...How much are the o~anges? RUBIN Forty cents a dozen. JACK P~m...how much are the apples? RUBIN Well, today we have a speolal price. J Five pounds fo~ onl~ a quarter. JACK ~- That's reasonable. I'll take a pound. I 81"~01 0335966
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!% ! / "4 -lJ- RUBIN Okay. One pound of apples comiuB up. RUBIN PUTS SOME APPLES IN A PAPER SACK, THEN PUTS T~ PAPER SACK OF APPI~S ON A SCALE. RUBIN ThatZll be six cents. JACK S~x oentsJ You said those apples were five pounds for 25~. One pound should be five cents. RUBIN ThatIs riBht, but these apples weigh just a little more. You see?...One pound two ou~oes o JACK Well, I don't want a pound and two ounces. I want exactly one pound. EUB~ 0 kay. RUBIN REACHES i~0 THE SACK, TAKES OL~ AN APPLE, OCT OF IT, DROPS IT BACK IN THE SACK. JACK }Ir~m. RUBIN TAKES THE SACK OFF THE SCALE AND THROWS IT IN T}~ WINE BASKET. RUB~ One pound of apples. Five cents, please. JACK HELUCTANTLY TAKES OCT A NICKEL A~D PAYS HIM. JACK MOVES ALONG, T~N STOPS TO CONSDI~ HIS LIST...I~ STRAINS TO RF~D SOMETHING...THEN I~S ON HIS GI~SES AND READS IT. TAHES A Bl~fE 8T~O'| 033596?
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i , -14- JACK }~um. Romanoff Caviam...It's not so expensive when you buy it in a market. I think 1,11 buy four or five jars... then Irll go over to Romm~off's to eat it. JACK L00E5 AT HIS LIST AGAIN. NELSON STOPS NEAR JACK AT A SIGN THAT SAYS - "ALPHABET SOUP - 18 CENTS A CAN". NELSON CROSSES OUT T~ "18" AND WRITES THE NUMBER "3", JACK NOW letls see ... ~hatls next...Ohs Clerk -- NELSON Yes? .... Can I be of assistance? Oh, it's you ~ain, I didnTt mecognize you. A~e those ~lasses or are you weamln~ ~ Wrap ~Pou.nd windshield? JACK Don't be funny. Just tell me where I can -- (NOTICING SIGN) Hey, wait a minute. Why did you make such a drastic reduction in the p~ice of the alphabet soup? NELSON The company just found out that the "M",s are missing. JACK The "M" ' s? A]'M01 0335968
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/ in' -15- I~I~ ON It almost drove them crazy. People are ~J eating their soups, but couldn,t spell / out "Mahzelt ov." JACK All right, all ~ight ... Just tell me wh8t kind of soups do you have? ~LSON Chicken, vegetable,~%snd Scrabble. JACK Oh, neve~ mind. JACK WALES AWAY WITH Rig BASKET, DISAPPEARING BEHIND SHELF. A GIRL (SALESGIRL) STEPS UP BEHIND A SMALL COUNTER ON WHICH IS A CAKE AND PIES. S}~ SETS UP A SIGN NEAR THE CAKE THAT SAYS "FREE". A WOMAN CUSTOMER PASSES BY. GIRL Would you like to sample our cake? THE WOMAN NODS TA~ A COOKIE OUT OF T~ BOWL, AND GOES ON WAY. JACK C~S BY AND NOTICING THE WO~ "FREE" NEXT TO THE BOWL, HE STEPS UP TO THE ~OU~T~, TAE~ THE BOWL OF COOKIES, PUTS IT IN HIS BASKET AND GOES ON HIS WAY. THE GIRL LOOES AFTER JACK ASTONISh, THEN PICES UP THE "FREE" SIGN AND EXITS. JAC~ MEANWHILE HAS GONE AROUND THE SHELF, AND COMES BACK IN THE CI~AR AGAIN. HE STOPS ONCE MORE TO CONSULT HIS LIST. A WOMAN AND TWO CRiLDREN WALK ON SCENE. OLDER CHILD Look, Mo~my...isn, t that J~ok Benny? MOTHER Why, so it is. LITTLER CHILD Is that the Jack Benny we watch on television all the time? MOT~3~R That,s right. A~~01 0335969
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~ i.E~ • " -16- LITTLER CHILD Why does Deddy slways get so ms~ when he says he's thirty-nlne? MOT~R Because your dsady is thirty-niue.. Thst's the reason. 0LE~R CHILD Mo~mny, csn I go over snd get his autograph? LITTLER CHILD ~, tOO. MOTHER Yes..go shesd..l,ll wsit here. THE TWO CHILCREN WALK UP TO J~CK. 0L~R CHILD Mr, Benny...Mr. Benny. JACK Yes. OLDER CHILD Msy we hsve your sutogrsph? JACK Certainly. LITTLER CHILD You can write it on our comic books. JACK 0kay. JACK TAKES THEIR COMIC BOOKS AND STARTS TO WRITE HIS AUTOGRAPH. J BB Pt l;ffO 1 033~9 PO
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! 0LDE~CHZLD You know, Mr. ~nny, yo~'re ou~ favorite comedian. JACK Thank you. LITTLER CHILD We thln~ you're funnie~ than anybody. OLDER CHILD Yeah ... we llke you even better than Captain Jet. JACK Captain Jet? OLDER CHILD Zoom! JACK Oh, him. LITTLER CHILD You know, Mr. Benny, you,re so wondemful on radio and television, why haven.t you eve~ made any movies? 0LDERCHILD Yeah, why dontt you make pictures? JACK Why don,t I make pictures ... But kids. I made --- (HANDING THeM BACK THEIR AUTOGRAP~B) Well, here are your autographs. T~YGOBACK TO THEIR MOTHER...S}~COMES OVER TO JACK. MOT~R Isn.t that wonderful, Mr. Benny...A whole new generation ~rowlng up that'll never know. STY01 -17- 03359 P 1
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JACK Yes, yes. MOT~L~R Goodbye, MI% Benny..snd tbsnk you. JACK You're welcome.. JACK CONSULTS HIS LIST AGAIN. JACK H~. I still have to go over to the mest department snd get a burkey. AS JACK STARTS TO GO, SHELDON LEONARD PASSES BY. SHILDON Hey, bud...bud... JACK Huh? HI~LDON Con here a minute. JACK ~Cno, me? SHELDON YeBh. JACK STEPS OVER TO HIM. ~LDON Where ere ~ou going? JACK To the meat depertment. -18- BB P] T ,'~01 03359?2
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:< SHELDON What are you going to get? JACK A turkey. SHELDON Uh uh. JACK What? SHELDON Get a rabbit. JACK Rabbit? SHELDON ge~talnly. Turkey may look good at the start, but before you know it, its legs axe gone. JACK Gee...I don't know what to do. I was in Mlke l~vman,s restaurant on Thanks~ivlng, add turkey W~s very popular. VI~(~ MG AT~{O 1 03359V3
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% • CB x" 'SI~LDON Maybe so but rabbit Mas the favorite in the Derby. JACK Are you sure? sm mON Well certainly, just look at the selections... (POINTING TO RACINGFORM) Rabbit is first choice. JACK Who picks him? SHELDON Chef Milanl. JACK Oh...Well, look, I'm going to get a turkey. SHELDON Why? JACK (IMITATING SHELDON) Come here a minute. SHELDON Xeah. JACK I don't mind the cooking, but I don't llke to carve rabbits. -20- RTl'f01 03359?4
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-21- SHELDON Why? JACK I hate splitting hares...So, if you donlt mind, I'm going to get a turkey. SHELOON Okay.. it's your gibbets. SHELDON WALKS OFF AND EXITS. JACK WHEELS HIS BASKET OVER TO TWO TABLES ON WHICH ARE STACK~ PYRAMID FASHION AN ASSORTMENT OF LARGE CANS OF VEGETABLES. 0V~ THeM IS A SIGN, "SPECIAL TODAY..T}~XE CANS FOR 50 CENTS". JACK Oh, there's what I ~ant. I need some spinach. ~E TAKES OFF A CAN, AND ONE CAN DROPS. ~E PICKS UP CAN AND PUTS IT IN THE BASKET. JACK A dented can, that's half price... HE TAKES A CAN OFF THE BOTTOM OF THE PYRAMID..THE PYRAMID STAYS INTACT. JACK Pork and beans.... TAKES ANOT}~ CAN OFF THE SAME ROW..PYRAMID STILL STANDS. TAKES ANOTH~ CAN. HE CONTINUES TO TAKE VEGETABLES OFF THE SAME BOTTOM ROW AND THE PYRAMID STILL STANDS. HE FINALLy TAKES THE LAST CAN OFF THAT ROW, WHICH IS IN THE MIDDLE AND PUTS IT IN HIS BASKET.. THEN THE PYRAMID ON THE SECOND TABLE FALLS, SCATTERING CANS ALL 0V]~ THE FLOOR. ~.14"~ CB ,, J RTX01 03359?5
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.5 -22- JACK (LOOKING AT CANS ON FLOOR AND PYRAMID STILL STANDING) Well, that I don't understand at all. (LOOKS AT HIS LIST) Let's see..the meat counter is right down hope. JACK WHEELS }{IS BASE~T 0V~R TO HE MEAT SECTION. AS JACK STOPS TO LOOK AT THE SECWOASE, MR. ~ITZEL ENT}~qS FROM THE BACK ROOM WITH A ~AY OF MEATS. JACK Isn't there another butcher here... Oh, butcher-- ARTIE I'll be ~Ith you in just a --- Well, Mr. Benny~ JACK M~. Kit zel~ JACK M~. Kitzel, I didn't know you were ~orklng in a butcher shop. ARTIE I am only helping out du~ing the yuletide festivities. JACK Well, ~ell.. (POINTING TO THE TUR~S) Did you kill all those turkeys? ARTIE I only killed three of them, the smog got the ~est. ~1 ;~0 ~ 03359 ;~6
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/ JACK M~. Kitzel, youlre ~oking. ARTIE ( LAUG~ ) .... My. JACK I thought so. ARTI]~ Mr. Benny, what is your pleasure if I can be so acoormnodatin~? JACK Well, Mr. Kitzelj Ttd like to buy a turkey. ARTIE That's ~lhat I like. A man Who knc~is what be ~ants- JACK What? ARTIE The last four peopls ~ho came in to buy turkey s~itched to pabbit. JACK ~M~n...Not me, brother. I ~ant a turkey. HOW much are tbese? ARTIE Sixty-three cents a pound. -23 - J BB ~tl'~O 1 0335922
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JACK S~xty-three cen~sL ..... Thatts a lot of money for turkoys. ;~qTIE Say..they have to live, too. JACK I supposo so. But I can't help being sentimental. Just look at those turkeys lying there..so cold and still° Just think - a few days ago they ~e~e happy, oarefree ~nd gay. NELSON ~PH~IS A CART UP TO T~ BUTC}[~ SHOWCASE AND STARTS PUTTING SMALL PACEAGE~ ON TOP OF TH~ S~D~ASE. JACK Mr. Kitzol, bo~ old ~ere these turkey8 ~hen they ~e~e killed? ~TLE About ten months. JACK Hmm,.dld~'t ~ven have ~ ohanoe to live. I feel terrible. ~NEiSON Yourd feel a lot worse if they were seventy-three cents a pou~]d. iJ BB R]'MO 1 03359?8
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-25- JACK I wasn't talking to you .... so mind your own business. K~,S0N Oh, yo~'~e al~ay~ so crabby when you'1~e spending money. JACK I think Z hate him. ~_RTiE I don't blame you. ]~ pUTS THE LAST OF HIS PACKAGE5 ON T0P 0P THE SHOWCASE AND ~IALKS COT OF VIEW, ARTIE Mr. Benny, could you please make up you~ mind? JACK Believe me, Mr. Kitzel, I'm tryin~ to..but when I see that turkey lying there l~e that, I just can't help but think of its mother. Ho~1 lonesome she must be. ARTIE Do~' t worry, that's her laying next to him. 81"~0| 03359?9
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~L -26 - JACK Oh..oh..Well, in that case, I,ii take them both. I'll plok them up later..I still have some more shopping to do. ARTIE Than~ you, Mr. Benny, and a happy yuletide to you. JACK MOVES AWAY FROM THE SHOWCASE AND GOES BEHIND A SHELF, AS NEI~0N CONES OUT INT0 VIEW FROM BE~ZND THE SAME SNELl. JACK'S VOICE (0.S.) Oh, cler~...clerk .... NELSON (LOOKING BACK) Oh, i~'~ yOU again. (W~J~KING BACK ~HIND THE SRELF) What is it now? JACK'S VOICE Clerk; where are the paper napkins, the frozen foods, the ketchup, mayonnaise, and the canned peaches. NEISON 'S VOICE My goodness, No, I can't~ • 13 can't you find anything.. JACK'S VOICE THE CUSTOMERS IN THE STORE STOp TO LISTEN. JACK'S VOICE And itrs your job to help me do my ~hopping. ATN01 0335~B0
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-27- / NELSON ' S VO ICE Well, if that's what you want..okay.. Irll do your shopping for you. Give me that list! JACK'S VOICE (~XC~Z~Ly) Clerk...Clerk, get your hands off of me..put me down..put me down. NELSON'S VOICE You wanted me to do your shopping for you, so I will. THE SHOPPING BASKET COMES ROILING OUT FROM BEHIND T}~ SBELF. NELSON IS PUSHING IT, A~D JACK IS SKATED IN THE CHIID'S SEAT. JACK Clerk, Clerk, this is ridiculous. I don't want to ride in this...Get me out o9 hereJ WHILE JACK OONT~UES TO COMPLAIn, NELSON DETERMINEDLy DROPS GROCERIES FROM THE SHELVES INTO ~ BASKET, AS WE... DISSOLVE : DON Jack will be bank in just a minute, but first a word to cigarette smokers. JP 81M01 0335981
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-< L T}~ AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY HERBERT TAREYTON HT-3F (1 MIN. ) TITLE IS 0b SCREEN, CLOSE -i- TITLE BURST WIPES REVEALING TWO PACKS, "NOW 2 WA~/B'' APPEARS ABOVE PAOKS AND "REGUId~" AND "FILTER" TITLES APPEAR BELOW PACEB IN SYNC WITH VOICE., TITLES FADE OUT. "BOTH ~NG SIZE" TITLE tIWITH GENUINE CORK TIP" TITLE pOPS ON IN VOICE SYNC...TITLES FADE. FILTER PACK MOVES FORWARD TO FULL SCREEN AS CORK TIP PACK FADE$ STRIPES APPEAR ON BACKGROUND. • "NEW 8ELECTIVE" FILTER" POPS ON PACK IN SYNC WITH VOICE, AST~ISK JUMps OFF AND TRAVELS TO NEXT FRAME. ASTERISK SPINS FROM "SELECTIVE" AROUND FILTER AND AP~ BESIDE "PAT~S PENDING". COPY OF PATENTS PE~OING ROLLS ON SCREEN, THREE LINES AT A TI~E. DISSOLVE T0 FILTER PACK WITH STRIPES IN BACKGROUND. /- ANNCR Good news for filter tip smokers~ Herbert Tareyton is now two ways ... regular and filter ,.. both king size, both wit~ genuine cork tip. Tareyton's famous quality ... now comes to you with the new Selective* filter °.. the only filter of its kind, An entirely new concept in cigarette filtration, A filter tip of purified cellulose, Incorporatln~ Activated Charcoal, ~ filtering substance world-famous as a purifying agent, notably for air, water and beverages. Ta~eyton's new Selective Filter ... (MOR ) £Y~01 0335982
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' ; HT 3F (i MIN.) ANNCR (EONT'D) "NEW SELECTIVE FILTER" . .. has unusual powers of TITLE APPEARS ACROSS CENTER OF PACK IN SYNC WITH VOICE. ~f "REAL ~LTEATION" TITLE • APPEARS ACROSS CENTER OF : '" PACK IN SYNC WITH VOICE ~ AND CIGARETTES POP OUT .i OF PACK ONE AT A TIME. "SMOHING SATISFACTION" TITLE APPEARS IN SYNC WITH VOICE BELOW ~IREAL FILTRATION. " CIRCLE IS DOTTED ON SCREEN AROUND STRIPES ON CIGARETTE PACK AND HOLDS. CIRCLE POPS OFF PACK, LEAVING FILT~ PACK WITH CIGARETTES IN VIEW AND STRIPE BACKGROUND. "SUPERIOR ~LTF/R" AED "POPULAR FILTER PRICE" POP ACROSS CENTER OF PACK IN SYNC WITH VOICE. selectlvit[ which hold back elements that can detract from the pleasure of smoking. The smooth easy-drawing Tareyton filter gives you ~eal filtration...and smokiu~ satisfaction. Look for the ~d, white and blu_ee stripes on the package ... they identify the bes___tt in filtered smoking.. Herbert Tareyton. The only filter with a~!enuine cork tip. Herbert Tarexton is a superior filte~ at a o~_q~ul_~arfilter price. AT~OI 0335983
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}i~ -~ 4¸ ~ i•' -28 - (AFTER COMMERCIAL, JACK COME5 OUT TO ~IC & A~PIAUSE) JACK Thank yo~ very much, ladies and gentlemen, you know, I don' t do my own marketing very often as you can ;~eeo Two weeks from tonight, the day after Cbristmas, we11"e ~oing to do our show from San Diego Trai~iDg 5t&tion. We ~ill have about ~0,000 sailors watching us. i~m sure of that, because that's an order. And don't forget to watch Ann Southern next Sunday, and we will be back in two weeks. Of course, I'll tell you sometbing.~. Itve hod the most awful time this Christmas trying to figure out gifts for people. You know I have to buy so ~ny gifts for everybody...for instance, everybody on my ~adio crew, everybody on ~y television Crew.°.you see, I have to buy presents for ~ll those people ...... I've spent about ¢28.00 alre~dy..°.aod X'm only b~if tbrough. It costs you a fomtune....But the big problem I bare every Chrlstmas is t~ying to buy a gift for Mary. You knew, shahs got everything. But last year, it was no problem. By a ]uok7 coincidence her ~ quit, and Mary had to Jo her own housework, so I ~ve her a mink mop....She still b~s it, and it's very practical• She can mop the floor ~ith it in the morning and ~ear it to Circle at night .... Of course Don %[ilson is no problem. Yestezday I went down to the store and bought him a beautiful belt...Gee, there are only thirtee~ more days till Christmas...I hope they get it rolled up by then ..... Oh, I hear music. I think we're at the finish, so Mel~ry Christmas. BB ,/i ~'r~01 033598~
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~'VlSF.D S~IFr "AS ~ROAD~AST" (Remote from San Diego, Calif.) AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY THE JA~ BENN~ TEIEVISTON pROGRAM SUNDAy, ~pEMBER 26, 1954 CBB 4:30 - 5:00 PM PST CAST: Jsck Benny Rocheste~ Don Wi~son Sportsmen Quertet Mel Blsno HyAverbeck LeighSnowden Joe Besse~ Benny Rubin J • i ~ ]" ;WO "1 OB359B5
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i, TBE AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIKE - 12-26-5~ OPENING COMMERCIAL CUT TO TITLE CARD: "THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM". CUT TO TITLE CARD: "PRESENTED BY LUCKY STRIKE". CUT TO TITLE CARD: "BE HAPPY -- GO LUCKY, LUCKIES TASTE BETTER". JACK BENNY TV S~Ob OPEN -i- -~- LIVE~ (MESTO: LUCKY STRIKE THEME UP AND u~ --- ) ANNCR From the Nsv81 Trsining Center in Ssn Diego, .Cellfornie, The Jsek Benny Progrsm.. Presented by Lucky Strike.' (MUSIC: VAMP AND BE HAPPY -_- GO LUCKY -- SHORT VERSION). J TB AT'~01 0335986
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THE AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY IDCk'Y BTRX~ - 12-26-54 RITA GAM TESTIMONIAL - ~84 -IA- OPEN ON MCU OF CHESS BOARD. BEAUTIFLL I~-~,,MALE HAND CO~S IN AND MOVES CKSSB PIECES. START TO PULL BACK SKOWING PACK OF CIGARETTES, ASH TRAY WITH LIGHTED LUCKY. CONTINUE TO PULL BACK AND TILT UP TO REVEAL RITA GAM ATTRACTIVELY ATT]~{ED. RITA SPEAKS INTO CAMERA RITA PICKS UP CIGARETTE, ,> CUT TO CU OF RITA AS Ih~ALES. SHE INHALES LUCKY AND THEN PLACES IT ON LIP OF ASH TRAY NEXT TO LUCKY PACK. MATCH DISSOLVE ASH TRAy TO AN ENTIRELY DIFFS~ENT AND MASCULINE LUOKING ASH TRAY WITH CIGARETTE IN SAME LIP. / JACK BENNY TV SHOW OPEN -2- BARUCH (v.o.) (wi H SSNCS) This is glemorous movie stem, Rite Gem. BETA CAM A) you know whet I'm doing? I'm studylng my chess. Ttls sn interesting thi~ shout ohess on~ move osn mesh the whole gsme. Thetrs why I'm so careful with eveTy move I mske. I llke to sit sn~ smoke sn~ reslly think it through. ~he cigsrette, by the wsy, is Lucky Strike. I like its clesn teste ... nice s~oms ... ~t's my c~g~ette eve r~- time. BARUCH (V.O.) Bits Gsmrs z, esson for smoking lac~ Strdke is ... (MO~) 81"KO I 033598P
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r~ THE A~RICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIK~ - 12-26-54 81TA GAM TESTIMONIAL - ~84 BARUCH'S HAND C0~S IN AND PICKS UP CIGARETTE, PULL BACK TO MCU OF BARUC~L PICKS UP PACK. POINTS TO BUI~SEYE. CUT TO F~M~ CU OF PACK F~A~JRING "IT'S TOASTED" JAOE BENNY TV SHOW OPEN -3- BARUCH (CONT ' D) (NOW ON CAMERA) the ssme one thst msny millions of other smokers give -- they like the teste of s Lucky. And here's why ~ Lucky testes better. It's right here on the peck... "IT'S TOASTED". Thst's ~h~ famous Lucky Strike process thst brings Luckies' fine tob8cco to its peek of flevor... CUT BACK TO MEDIUM SHOT OF BARUCH. the process thst tones up this mild, nsturelly good-testing tob8cco to make it taste even better. Well, thst's our story pure end simple. A Lucky tsstes better becsuse it's the cigarette of fine tobecco ~nd IT!S TOASTED to taste better. Cleeuer, fresher ~ smoother. DISSOLVE BACK TO RITA GAM ABSORBED IN I~R CHESS GAME, SHE INHALES RER LUCKY WITH A GREAT DE~L OF ENJOYMENT, / TB DOROTHY (& CHORUS) (WITHOUT INTRO) So to get better teste from your cig-~-ret te Lucky Strike is the brsnd to get. (~ORE) kl I" ,'4 0 "I 0335988
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• I ~J, T}~ AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY JACK BENNY TV SHOW LUCKY STRIKE - 12-26-54 OPEN 4 J RITA GAM TESTIMONIAL - #85 nOROTHY (& CHORUS r~ COh'~ ' D ) RITA TAKES AN OPPOSING PIECE AND PUTS IT DOWN BESIDE k~R WITH A SMILE OF SATISFACTION. SHE PUTS IT DOWN ON TABLE WITH 0~_~ FLUID MOVEMENT AT BREAK IN SONG. SHE I~HALES AGAIN. IT'S TOASTED to give you the best tBste yet It's the tossted ... (CLAP ... CLAP, CLAP) clgsrette : TB AT~<O'! 0335989
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J --i~ "/ (AFTER OP~ING COMMERCIAL, JACK COMES OUT TO MUSIC & ApplAuSE) CAMERA PAYS OVER AUDIENCE. JACK Good evening, ladies and ~entIemen, and all of you fellows here at the San D~e~o Naval Training Center. For the benefit of you viewers ~ let me explain that there are twenty-thousand sailqsrs taking training here and they are not allowed off the base for thirty days .. After that tlme, they get their first liberty.. They all line up at the gates, an air raid siren is blown, and the civilians evacuate the cit~ .... Anyway, to all of you fellows here I want to say that I hope you had a real nice Christmas. I know mine was Just great. And I got some of the most wonderful gifts. And the nicest present of all was the one I got from the boys in m~ orchestra,. You ~ow, they've been with me for years.. And this Christmas they went all out. They knew that I had been in the Navy so they all chipped in and bought me a beautiful picture frame., for my tattoo.. You see, my tattoo is the Statue of Liberty. Of course ItJs upside down....I did it myself .... of coumse I ~ad to bu~ a p~esent fom the ~o~est~ boys, too, a~d I really dldn~t kr*ow what to get t~e~ ..... 81",~0 "| 0335990
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I kept thinking and thinking and wracking my , bralos.,What can I get the boys in the orchestra.. And suddenly it came to me in a flask -- I mean a flash...Well, ~ow that I said it, thatrs what I got for them.. And I want to thank the United Air Lines for fl~ing all these muslciaos down here.. This was the firs~ time in history that the passengers were higher than the plane.. (M0 ) IN AT,~O 1 03 L~5~ 1
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-3- JAOK (CONT,O) And now, fellows, letrs get on with the show.. I think we,ll start out with a little musical entertainment. I brought aloeg a quartet that yo~Ive heard add seen mar~, ~a~ times on radio and T.V. Shows. ~tb8 Spomtsmen, INSTEAD OF TK~ SPORTSMEN, DON W//~50N COMES OUT AND WALKS OVER TO JACK. JACK Don, where's the Sportsmen Quartet? DON Jack, that's the reason I came out here. The Sportsmen are no lon~er a quartet..They're a trio now. JACK A trio..how come? DON Well, they took a short cut over here to the auditorium and ae they passed behind one of the barracks, they saw a group of sailors. JACK Uh huh. DON These sailoPs were k~eoling in a circle, so the Sportsmen ~neeled down to see what was happening, and by the time they stood ~p, hhe~ lost twelve dollars add the barltone. LW H t-:frO I 0335992
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~ [ No! -4- JACK DON It's just a little game to while away the time..We used to do the same thing when I was in the Navy. JACK d You? Don, I didn't krJow you were in the Navy. DON 0h, I ce~talnly was, Jack..I was on a submarine.. the U.S.S. Missouri, JACK What? Wait a mlnute, Don..the Missouri is not a submarine. DON It was when I got on It. JACK 0h, oh..I see what you mean..Well, Don, I don't ~DOW whethe~ yourre ~Iddiog Or not, b~t I really was a sailo~...I was stationed at Great Ls~es Naval Training Station io 1917. DON 19179 Jao~, how old a~e you? JACK Thirty-rJico, .And now, fellows, I thin~ it,s time we -- DON Just a mlnute..hold it a mlnute...Jac~, if you're 39 now..that meats you wore in the Nav~ when you were two years old. I~THO 1 0335993
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4. .... i • JACK Yup..I don't know how my father talked them Into it..but he did....Whet a career I had ,. During my first week I was a Seaman First Class • .Chief Petty Offlcer..an Ensign, and a Lieutenant J. G. DON Jack, for heaven's sakes..how could you be all those things in one week? JACK Don, when you,re two years old, they change you every day...Now let's not get into any arguments in front of these boys. DON Oh, I wouldn't want to do that, Jack...I consider it a privilege that they let us come down here and put on our show for them today. JACK You're right, Don..Just look at them. !AT THIS POINT, IF DESIRED, A CAMERA CAN PAN AROUND T~ AUDITORIUM AND SHOW THE AUDIENCE. ) JACK All of those young fellows here for thei~ boot training...And each and every one of them volunteered to get into the Navy. GH B 1",~0 1 O33599~
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DON OCT AT A I OEi They al~l volunteered? J CK Uh huh, Hold it, Jack, Huh? DON (POINTING WAY OUT TO BACK OF AUDITORIUM) ~ Well, what about that sailor slttln~ in the back row..he's all tied ~p with ropes. JACK Where?..Oh, him..He was a little slow in volunteering...Anyway, Don, I think -- DON hold it. JACK DON I think the cameraman ms trying to get 2o~ attention. JACK I Looin~ OFF) Oh, f~r he~veo~ 8~kes, hh~-t18 Joe~He~s so exciteable. DON Loo~, he's cominK over here. ~ ~ ~;~ ~7¸¸ .r~p ~ ~ • . P~]MO 1 O33S99~5
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f7 ON HIS HEAD COZES! ~: ~ - .. HE WALKS IS IS A PIAR 6F EAR PI[GHES AND TEAILING BEHIND HI , . A LONG, LONG ELECTRICAL CORD ATTACHED TO THESE FAP~PHONES. AS HE , . COMES OVER TO JACK & DON, JACK SPEAKS. .... JACK What's the ma~;ter, Joe? Mr. Benny, for heaven,s sakes..You,re staring into the camera. I kept telling you all during rehearsal..Don't stare at the camera. JACK Look, Joe -- JOE LW You don't have to ~eep watchln~ the camera, nobody's going to steal it. JACK But I though% -- JOE You came down here to entertain the sailors, well entertain them, not the camera. JACK But -- JOE Look out at the audience, the audience, not the camera, the audience. JACK (MAD) All right, I'ii do it..now get back to ~our oame1~a . AI-~<O I 0335996
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~r -8- / JOE But I onl~ came out here because I thought--- Oh, ~ou...Okay, Iill go. BESSER STARTS TO WALK OFF STAGE IN WRONG DIRECTION..THE CORD ATTACHED TO HIS EARPHONES IS ONLy A LITTLE LONGER AND AFTER HIS FOURTH OR FIRTH STEP AWAY FBOM JACK THE CORD TIGHTENS, AND pULiS HIM BACI~gARD8. HE TURNS AROUND AND LOOKS OFF TOWARD THE CAMEPA HE CAME FROM. i~ S/K01 033599?
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f -9- JOE (DISGUSTEDLY) Oh, crazy me, I weot the wrong ~ay. }~ WALKS BACK IN RIGHT D~qECTION WITH JACK & ~N WATCHING HIM. JACK NOW, Don, do me ~ favor, ~ill you? ItTs time for the quartet.., .Will you please go out and get d them? DON Okay. DON ~ITS. JACK you know, Don wasn't klddi~g...He really ~as i~ the Navy....Can you inmgine him io a ha~ock? The guy ~ho had the han~1ock uodor him got the Coogressional medal of hol]or. • ..Well, an~ay~ fellows .... I wasn't kidding about myself, eithee... Duriog the first World WaP, I ~as stationed in .... HY AV~RBACK E~S DURING L~ST S~TE~CE, DRESS~ AS A CHIEF pETTY OFFICER. JACK (NOTICING ~) Yes? Mr* Beony, RS HY I'm Chief Petty Officer Joces. --~,~ ~ ~'~i~ . 4,• ~.• A1-HO! 033-~998
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!i • ~J G~ -±0° JACK How do you do, Chief Jones. HY My job iB to see that you'~e well taken care of during your visit here..Ncw, is there anything special you would llke fop dinner~ JACK Well..er...er...let me see. HY Could you hur~ylt up, Mr. Benny? I,ve got $o go around and ask all the sailors what they'd llke to eat. JACK Oh, oh, I Bee...Well, what do the boys stationed here usually here? HY Oh, some of th~ o~der crepes suzette. JACK Uh huh. HY Others prefer Cavla~ on Melba to~st followed hy fllet mlguon aaute with a wins 8~uce, ' JACK I see, BY Then there ere these who are partial to Baked Pheasant unde~ glass. AI"~O 1 0335999
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!f, HY LEAVES. JACK Gee...Is that the klnd of food the eollsted meo get io the Navy? HY No, but as loog as ~e're on television, let's do a little recruiting. JACK Oh, oh, 0H...Wellt l~ll have the same thing you gave me fop breakfast...Beaos. Hy Very good, sir. You kmo~, everybody does so much kidding about the food the sailors get...Well, I ~aot to tell you somethlng. The eolfsted men io ~e Navy get exactly the same food the Admiral gets...The ooly d~ffe~ence is that the Admi~al,s is cooked...And no~, fello~s, you're gOIDg to be entertained by the four boys who have been ~Ith me fo~ years on my radio aod television sho~s... The Sportsmen Quartet. JACK EXITS. SPORTSMEN COME ON TO APPLAUSE. (SPORTSMEN' 5 NUM~ ) (APPLAUSE) L/ -ll- 0336000
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-12 - (A~TER SPORTSMEN IS NUMBER, JACK CO~S OUT. ) JACK Yes, fellows, that was the Sportsmen Quartet.. And I want to than~ you fellows for returning the baritone so they could do that number. LEE SN0~CC~N STARTS WALKING ACROSS STAGE DEESSED IN TIGHT FITTING DRESS AND WAVE CAp. JACK I m~st say that these fou~ guys are really versatile. They not only do the commercials and pop~la~ songs but they also--- Oh Miss, Miss...just a minute, please. S~ STOPS, .TURNS AROUND TO FACE JACK..~D JACK WAI~CS OVER TO ~R. JACK Miss..Miss..do you mlnd telling me why you Walked across the stage in the middle of my show? GIRL My commanding officer told me to. JACK your co~m~ndlog officer...Oh, oh.. ,then you1~e ~ Wave. f-] Y ~01 0336001
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(8h~ EXITS) DON COMES OUT. GIRL yes, sir. JACK Then why did he tell you to wear thet dress? GIRL He said as long as ~e're on television, let's do a little recruiting. JACK Oh, oh. I see... JACK Isn't that nice...She joined the Navy end let the world see her,..Well, the show must go on. (cA s) Oh, Don...Don. DON Yes, Jack. JACK Don, it's time for a conm~rclal. DON Before we ~o that ~here's so~thing I think I better tell you. f~l,~O 1 0336002
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• I I. DON EXITS. JACK What? DON Well, last night I vent to a nlght club in TiaJuana and saw a Mexican guitar player ~ho ~as just great., .So I took the liberty of hiring him to ~o~k ~Ith the Quartet. JACK Oh, you took the liberty of hiring him, eh? DON Yes, a~d I hope you l~ke him. JACK I hope 8% too, Don, because if I don't, you CaD teke the llbe~ty o~ paying him... No~ if I understand correctly, you want this guitar player to do the commercial ~Ith the quartet. DON Yes...l'll go get all of them. -14- j • ~I~ I__ ATe01 0336003
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-15-¸ JACK You know, There's an 8nmzing thing ebout Don Wilson. He always likes to go ~round discovering people. He's sort of ~ fst Eddie Csntor .... But st lesst it shows thst he tskes 8n interest in my program. ~L BLANC, AND SPORTSM~N ENT~B FROM TH~ SI~...THEY ARE I~ES~D AS M~XICANS WITH A SEREPE AND SOMBRERO AND MEL HAS A GUITAR STRUNG 0V~R HIS SK~....}~ S~PILY AND LAZILY WALKS OVER TOWARDS JACK. JACK Oh ..... 8re you the Msxicsn muslcisn thst Mr. Wilson hires d ? M~L Ei. JACK (POINTING TO MEL'S GUITAR) And you plsy thst guitsr? MEL Si. JACK And you'd llke to plsy s number for the boys be1~? ~L Si. JACK %4hst~s your nome? MEL cy. ,/ TB FtTMO'I 0336004
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-16- Si! JACK MEL JACK All rlgbt, all right. Come oo Dooj let's have the D~ber. DON Okay, you better tune up, Cy. QUARTET GETS BEHIND MEL. MEL TAKES EIS GUITAR PICK AND PLINEB ON T}~ STRINGS. A TRICK GUITAR STRING ON IT SNAPS A~D BREAm° JACK (L00EXNG AT GUITAR) What did you Do? Break a st~ing? MEL SI. JACK Which ooe? MEL Go ~CK G? MEL Si. SE AI~O 1 OL~ ~ 6005
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-17- f JACK (TO QUAR~T) Well, for hesvens sskes, fellows, do the numbe~ sneak. (TO MEL) ADd yOU see if you csn get the stm~ng fi~ed. ~L Si. THEY START THEIR NU~. MEL KEEPS BUBy TRYING TO FIX HIS GUITAR STRING. [, ~J A'I" ~01 0336006
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(ORIGINAL FI~T CHORUS) / QUARTET Everybody's smoking Luckies Eet's the smoke that ~ou should try Whe~ yoaTre puffing on a Luok-y With delight you!ll surely sigh J'ACK Sigh? MEL Bi. QUARTET LSMFT is the best smoke we agree MEL Si, QUARTET It haB that better taste we llke MEL So QUARTET Io my adobe hacienda We are smoking Lucky Stri~es F~om La Jolla to Monte Del Vista Therefs a Lucky in everyooe's fista Aod they please every Misses aod Mista MEL My uncle my aunt aod my slsta -1TA ~r
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I QUARTET ISM, LSM, ISMF IBM FF FFF FF I~M LSM LSMF L$M FF FFF T MEL Si. QUARTET T. ~L Si..Si. QUARTET MFT MEL Si. (AppIAusE) -17D- ~'F~O 1 0336008
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.% -18 - (A~2ER SPORTSMEN 'S COMMERCIAL) JACK And now, fellows3 1 Jve got a surprise for you. I~m going to play a violin solo. ArenZt you glad you enlisted? .... But in this ~umber I~m going to use some of the bo~s In-- BENNY RUBIN COMES OUr DEESSED AS AN OLD SAILOR41TH A BEARD. HE HAS HASH ~.~RKS ALL THE WAY UP BOTH SLEEVES. ~ CARRIES A PHONE. RUBIN There's a telephone call foe yeu, Mr. Benny. JACK For meJ..Thanks ..... Say, how long have you been in the Navy? m/BIN I donlt remember, but I was in the first warn. JACK The first World War? R~IN No, the first wa~. RUBIN EXITS. _.I¸ . l .'J ~- LW A T240 'l 0336009
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(I~0 pHONE) EOCHEST~tS VOICE (0.8.) this is Rochester. JACK Rochester, when did you get in from Los Angeles? ROC~STER t S VOICE Just a few minutes ago. JACK Well, you~me late. HOG}~gTER ,g VOICE I know, but Itts hard to mgintein a perfect tlme-tsble when you're hltch-hlklng. JACK I~m sorry I mode you hitoh-hike, Rochester, but there ws8 no more ~oom in the car. ROCHESTER OH, that's all right .... it wasn't so bad ...... and that was good sdvice you gave r~e, -19- LW fll'ZO 1 0336010
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JACK Whet edvice? ROCHESTER I£ you lie down In the middle of the hlghwsy, nine out of ten cers will stop. JACK Certainly. ROCHESTER But when that tenth car comes along, it better hsve e high crank case~ JACK }Mm~m....Where are you now? 20O~STEa I~m in your room st the E1 Cortez Hotel. JACE Good...Did you bring my grey sult along wlth yom? ROCEESTER yes, slr. JACK Well, I'll wsnt to west it tonight, so bring it right over here. -20- \ R~I-;K01 0336011
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• i i Okay .... goodbye. Goodbye. ROCHESTER JACK HE }~ANGS UP RECEIVER AND pUTS DOWN PHONE. JACK Now fellows, gett~g oo wlth the show. TonSgbt we're ~olng to... ROCHESTER CONES OUT ON STAGE. ROCI~ESTER Here I a~ Boss. (ApPlAUSE) -21- LW A1~01 0336012
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Ik 3 Rochester, so fast? JACK how did you get here from the hotel ROC~STER I jumped co the back of a sailor with his first week-eod liberty. JACK Oh...Well, wherefs my gray suit? ROC}~STER Well, on my way over here, I passed behind ooe of the barracks where there was a group of sailors k~eellng io a circle. JACK And you lost my gray suit? ROCHESTER If I couldlve made a four, you'da had two hundred blue ones. JACK 0h...Well, l~ll talk to you about this later. No~..Rochester, I wa~t you to go to my dressing room a~d get me my viollo. ROCHESTER Your violin? Are you going to play that thing out here in f~ont of all these sailors? JACK Certainly...why sho,11dD*t I? ATMOI OL~ B6013
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f -23 - ROCHESTER Why should you.. ,you've already got the purple Heart. JACK Never mlnd..~ust go get me my violin. ROCHESTER Okay.. ,And.,er....Mr. Benny.. JACK Yes? ROCHESTER Well... or..I have a girl friend here in San Diego..and.,er,.Well, I thought maybe you'd let me use your car tonight. JACK Why sure, Rochester...So you've got a girl in Sac Diego, eh? ROCHESTER Ye~, sir, and shots beautiful, bossj beautiful. JACK Wha$ does she look like? ROCHESTER You wa~t me to describe her to you? P~T~O 1 £)336014.
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YeS • JACK ROCHESTER (SLOWLY AND DREAMILY) Have you ever seen a Cal£forola sunset...~ast as Mother Nature extinguishes its last gelded glow add it sinks below the tranquil waters of the blue Paclflo? JACK Yes. ROC~ESTER Well, put a sweater on it and that's her. JACK Oh, I see.,.~ell, okay, Hoehester...~ou can have the oar. ROC~STER Thanks, Mr. Benny. ROCHESTER STARTS TO EXIT AND JACK CALLS TO HIM. JACK Oh, Rochester...~ou and~our girl have a nice time but you be bac~ at the hotel by nine oiolook. ROC~-S~R i~ ! i' LW 03360')5
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-25- JACK I sald be back by nine. ROCHESTER (AFtra LO~ pAUSE) .... Want me to describe her to you again, BOSS? JACK Never mind. ROCHESTER EXITS TO AP~. JACK And now fellows, as I sta2ted to saN..Itm Koin~ to do a violin numbe2, assisted by some of the boys in the orchestra... (CAU ) Come on up here, ~ellows. SONSER. RICE, ~ BAGBY AND REMLEY COME OUT ON STAGE WITH THEIR INSTRUMENTS A~D GET ~ TO plAy. R'I"HO 1 0336016
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~ II • 4: -26- JACK (CA~) Rochestsr, bring me my violin. 20Cf~STF~R C0~S 0DT ON STAGE CARRYING JACKIS VIOLIN AND BOW..Tf~ RESTING ON A LARGE, ORNATE, BEAD~]~UL VELVET PILLOW... JACK TAKES Tf~ VIOLIN FROM NO0~STER. JACK Look Rochester..l told you you sen hsve my csr tonight..you don't heve to fletter me by bringing my violin out on s velvet pillow. ROCHESTKR It's not thor, I Just didn't wsnt my fingerprints on it. JACK Never mind..All right, fellows, let's give them our hot humber...s-0ne, two--Hit it. ~Y GO INT0 THEIR NUFI3f~. °.D~ING T}~ 2ND CHORU~, LEE 8NOWIIEN ONCE MGRE WAIXS ACROSS THE STAGE WITH H~R WAVE CAP ON..AS SEE pAsSES ~ (IROI~STRA, WAY~S SONGER STEPS OL~ AND FOLLOWS BER, STILL PLAYING HIS INSTRUMENT..S~ WALES OFF STAGE, ~ FOLLOWS f~lR, AND BY USE OF BI~EAKAWAY CLOTHING WHICH I8 IMmedIATELY P~MOVED FROM HIM, f~ WAI~S RIGHT BACK ON STAGE, STILL PLAYING HIS INSTRUMENT, BNT NOW HE IS WEARING A SAILOR UNIFORM. ,IN~ING THIRD CHORUS, HOCHESTF~R cOMES OUr AND SINGS AND DANCES FOR A FINISH. (ApPLAj) DON Jsok will be back in just s minute, but first s word to cigerette smokers. (CUT TO CLOSING COFB~ROIAL) J AI"HO I 03:-'~601P
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Y: L" > :: .ii~¸ AMERIOAN TOBACCO CO. HT -4F 1-MINUTE. TILT ON SCI~EN WITH VOICE OVER : TITLE BURST WIPES REVEALING ~WO PACK~. '~OW 2 WAYS" TITLE AppEARS ABOVE pACKS AND "REGUIAR" ~ND "FILTER" TITLES APPEAR BELOW PACKS IN SYNC WITH VOICE .. TITLES FADE OUT. 'TBOTH KING SIZE" TITLE 'WITH GEhUINE CORK TIP" TITLE ~-~ IN VOICE SYNC TITLES FAIIE FILTER PACK MOVES FORWARD TO FULL SCREEN AS CORK TIP PACK FADES. STRIFES APPEAR ON BACEDROUND. "NEW SELECTIVE FILTER" POPS ON. PACKAGE FADES WiTH "N~@ SELECTIVE FILTER" TITLe. PATENTS PENDING A~D CRAWL COME UP FROM BACKGROUND. CUT TO ATTRACTIVE GIRL HOLDING CIGARETTE TO LIPS. MAN'S HAND COME FROM RIGHT AND LIGHTS IT. SHE INHALES AND SMILES HAPPILY. DISSOLVE OLO~E -i- Good news for filter tip smokers~ Herbert Tareyton is o~; two ways... regular add filter ..,. ...both king size, both with genuine cork tip. Tareyton,s famous quality ... ..° now comes to you with the new Selective Filter, The only filter of its kiod. And entirely new concept io Cigarette filtration. A filte~ tin of purified cellulose, i~Joorporatlog Activated Charcoal, a filtering s~bstanoe world-famous as a purifying agont~ notable for air, water and beverages. That!s why Herbert Tareyton wlth the Dew Selective Filte~ and famous Ta~eyton quality gives yo~ real filtration and smokln~satisfactlo~. yes, Filter Tip Smokers! Here's the true tobacco taste you've been looking for. (MO ) 8r~<O I 0336018
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AMERICAN TOBACCO CO. HT-4E (CONT~D) CIRCLE IS DOTTED ON SCEERN AROUND STRIPES ON CIGARETTE PACK. CIRCLE POPS OFF PACK I~AVING FILTER PACK IN VIEW ~ND STRIPE BAC~ROUND. "SUPERIOR FILTER" AND "POPULAR FILTER pRICE" POPS ACROSS CENTER OF PACK IN SYNC WITH VOICE. So look for the yed, white and blue stripes ou the package ..... • .they identify the best in filtered smoking....Rerbert Tareytoo. ... a~erlor filter at a popular Filter price. d k :ff QH AIM01 0336019
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• t L~ (TAO) -~7- (A~TER COMMERCIAL, JACK C0~S OUT TO MUSIC & AppIAUSE) JADK Thank you very mu~h~ fellevs...~nd now I2d llke you te meet the boys In ~ little swing baD~;..... (THEy COME OUT) The bass player is Don Rice, and the guitarist is ~ooe other than Frankie Remley..oFrankie isn't just a guitar player..he has hls own baod...It's called Frank Reml~y and bls Internatiowal orchestra... Iotezmatioual meaning it,s just as well known in SaD Diego as it is in Tia]uaoa,o .Now the clarlnetIst is Wayne Sooger, and the accordiau player is Cha~lie Ba~by...Charlle has been on his good behavior today...usually I have to warn the first fo~u~ rows to watch out when he starts squeezing his accordian, ...Sometlmes that thi~k is filled with draft beer....You thick I'm kiddlog, but you'd be surprised at what these guys do with their instruments .... Remley hes ao eleotrlo g~itar that makes ice cubes..What a bu~oh,..Now finally, we have our drummers Sammy Weiss, a~d I owe him an apology because he doesn't carz~ on like the rest of them...He leads a ve~ norm~l life. years ago he got married and had four childreo..Unfortunately these (WAVES PAND TO I~DICATE ~F~4LEY, BAGBY, RICE AND SONGER1 are the ohildrew...But ~ammy is au excelleut musician, and would have been very famous today if he hadn't gotten bald..When he had hair, he used to be with phll spltalr~s orchestra ...... (MORE) AT~{O 1 0336020
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. I1 JAc (CO 'D) Before we leave, I WSDt to thank Captain J.R. Clark and Lieuteuant J. E. Mote for luvltln~ us down here...l'll De back oo televisloD in tWO weeks a~d oext week be sure to watch A~D Soutbero...And now on behalf of ~ spo~Jsor and my entire cast I want to wlsb you fellows here add all of you at borne a very happ~ New year. Goodni~ht, folks. (APPIAU~E AND MUSIC) (CUT TO CREDITS) \ -28 - AFX01 0336021
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L I%. (CREDITS) CARD #4 JACK BENNY PROGRAM CARD #5 DIRECTED BY P~LPH CARD #6 PRODUCED BY NYLLIARD MARE8 CARD #7 WRITTEN BY CARD #8 MUSIC & SETS CARD #9 JACK BENNY PROGRAM -~9 - DON Appearing on tonight's p~gram weee: Mol Blanc, Hy Averback, Joe Besser, Benny Rubln, and Lee Snowdon. GH ..... .~ ~L~¸ ~ ~=~!U ~'7¸ ~• .~ .... A I'~0'I £)336022
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/ CLOSING ~MO CARD #i0 CUT TO CARD #ii JACK BENNY pROGRAM DON (VOICE OVER) Remember - one week from tonight, on this same station, be sure add watch Ann Southern in "p~ivate Secretary". Jack Benny's next television show will be in two weeks. In the meantime, be sure to listen to Jack Benny on radio every Sunday night over the CBS Radio Network. The Jack Benny program has been brought to ~ou by Lucky Strike, product of the Amerlcao Tobacco Company, ~merlea ,sleadlng manufacturer o£ cigarettes. This is Don Wilson, saylng 'BE HAPPY, GO LUCKY": SYSTEM GH ATH01 0336023

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