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American Tobacco

Radio Continuity, Lucky Strike, Jack Benny, Jan. - Mar., 1945

Date: Jan 1945
Length: 277 pages
ATX01 0236135-ATX01 0236410
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10004026
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1432898

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& .,b,o ~.c,..*o~ .~ 44 RUTHRAUFF ~3 RYAN Inc. ADVERTISING RADIO DIVISION REBROADCAST: 9:30-10:00 P~. P.W.T. CLIENT, K0, , A~ICAN TOBACCC COMPAh~f 3RD. REV. #25 LUCKY STRIKE - L.S./~].F.T. DATE: JAN. 7, 1945 PROGRAM: THE JACK BE~Y PROGRA~I NETWORK: DEIMAR : RUYSDAEL: RUYSDAEL: RUYSDAEL: SHARE : RUYSDAEL: DEIMA~: I OPENING NEW YORK \ TI~ JACK BENNY PROGRAM' Quality of product is essontlal to continuing success. (CHANT - SC~ A~ICAN) Ltck~ Strike men~s fine tobacco -- so round, so firm, So fully packed, so f~ee and easy on the draw! (2 &3, 2 a:3) LS - ~T Od~ ccn lrsc~. You sa~d It[ Strike me~r.s fine tobacco -- so round, so firm, so ful]y packed, so fmee and easy on the d~aw! (mEE) Ft 1" >¢0 "l 0236'13P
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JACK BEZ~.CZ PROGRA~ #15 SaD m~. SHARBUTT: (CHANT - SOLD AMEriCAN) Inlepende~t tobacco experts - auctioneers, buyers and warehousemen, - know tobacco. They can see just who buys what tobacco. These expe~ts preseat at the tobacco auctions can see ~ucky 3t~ike select ~zd buy the fi~er, the ll~uter, the r~aturally milder Lucky Strike tobacco. So smoke ÷Jaat smoke of fine tobacco - Lucky Strike - so ~ound, so flr~, so fully packed~ so free ~ud easy on the ~aw. (SWITC~D~ TO HOLLYWOCD FOR JACK BE~NZ~Y PROGRAM) ATH01 023613~
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LOON: DOff: JAOK: -:- #J5 (F~ST ROUTIh:) .,q n~ (AFTER O<I~G~CT~A~: I'~$IC UP AND F/tiDES) TI~ ECEIkY ZTRIt~ PROU~PH...ZTARRING JACK BEI~,...q-~-H [~9\P~ LIWUIgfSTDIYi, ~l/IL PD'~RRIS~ ~,OCF~ST~ LApJUi ~,E~ S ~I~D "YOLKS CRLV~Y" DON ~IILSON. (AppLAUSE v IgCSIC iT A~ FADF~5 ODOr) W~fZLL, IJJD~S A~ g~NT~tM~,..ZEKT SL~DAY NIG}~ I[~E WILL BE BROk~C~JbT=qG FROM N~; YORK CIkY..'A~IE]~E JACK BEI'DiZ .... IS ~,IN<~ ~0 O~TK Tr~ I,'~.RCH OF DIMES IN:. NT±LE PAP~%LYSIS DRrTE...50 .LET_;S GO TO JACK' 5 HCUZE !D] B~GiRLY HILLS :}~E r~ is BUSY ~REPARING FOR THE '_%CTP ... 1.[ . I V~E:~ - ~ THE L:TTLE ~0%'I~S LEAVES ~Z] riz4.P,~ BRG:t~_4...LA ~% :A LA T~ LA..SWEET C÷ECRGLA BROV~ . .. Oh boy, New v-~.~ m.~ B~ight lig'~zs.. B~oadway...There's SQ lau.ch emolte~r_t /]~ Nmw York...subways, taxicabs, peop;e rushim~ [wisur_d...And th~t~s where ymi see all the old valiO~evi~e aqts . .Powers Elephants ShmrkeF the ~r~ir~d Seal, Finks K~les, Frsd A]Uea. T ~'~ ~-~-~ ~ check when I get to New York, but I~ll need. so~ money on the train...!~d bette~ fi&mre o~t how :~ach l'il need., dl~hsrcrll he nine meals in the dlmsm a~fi~'~$ cents a meal...that's four Pifty..,ffmm~n. m~ybe I should get Rochester to pack some sa:dwiches... Nabluh, how often do ?ou go to New XoPk...~esides~ you g~t jelly all over th~ bemth.. ,AnyWay, nlme meals, that's fom~ flfty...ye~ thet'%! cove~ it ni~ely..But to be o: the safe sloe I'ii take f:ve 4ollars...I better get it out of the safe now. RTH01 0236139
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;u JACK: KEAR~{B : JACI<: EI~RI'IS : JACK: JACK: KEA~¢ Z : JACK: K~&RNZ : JACK: JACK: Y3~ARNS: JACK: RT'ZO'I O,~3e, l~O
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JACK: JACK: Y~ARNS~ JACK: RCCH~STER: JACK: ROC~ST~R: JACK: ROC bUdS% E!{ : JACK: ROC~STER : JACK: (HAN~!~ ~NS...I~RRIFIC ~rI'YAI~ W}[ISTI~E$ heirS, K~C) Uh darn iz, i forgot to turn off the a]arm..Eow iet~s see.,,Oh therers a loose five dol]s~ bii!,..Yep.. that's all I'-~ ~eed. (FOOTSTEPS) SO iorg, Ed, !'I! see you In the spring .... Take i~ easy. So ic~. (!OvAVY IRON DCCR CLANGS SHUT) "~le!l that takes care of that .... Now if I ear. get finlshed packing. (EXCIT_~D) OH li'S YOU, BeSS .... I HFARD YC~R BL~a~R b~ARKG0 OFF, S~ - RUSHED RiGh~ IN FRC~ ?I~ GARAGE. Oh...You ~e~l you could hea~ it way out there? ~kR i? .... ~<~DY IN BEVERLY HILLS IS DIGGI!$' A FOXHOLE~ '~ell, i l~ke t~ he on the safe side .... ~nT~ay, l:m glad you ca~ in, Rocnester, ! want you to fir.ish ~ack~ng my tru~k. Yes sir .... )h s~y boss -- 7 ~acked your tcrDays in that hat box. try t~pays? %. RTHO1 023614,1
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ROCHFS~ER: JACK: ROCI~ST~]R : JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: ROCH~STE4 : JACK: ROCHEST~R : JACK : ROC }£ESTEq : -4- #15 yeah,..l put in the blonde one~ the ~ark one, the curly one ar, d the two with the Dar lining. Good, DO you waist to take the one wlth the cow-i~ck? Cow-licko Yeah...You kI_ow...THE ONE YOU SAY ~KES YOU LOOK LIF~ VAN JOHNSON. No, never mi~d that one..I'l] be associating with an older croci in New York...By the w~y~ Rochester, have you finished your o~r~ packing? I didn't do any packln~, I'm travellinr light -_his year. Light~ Yeah...0ne of ~air of shoes .... two pair of shorts.. three pair of sox ..... Al~ FOUR PAIR OF D!CE~ D~ce[ .... I s~ould have kno~ .... I suppose you thit~ youTre goln~ to New York ar_d clean out the to,~-~ I SU~ N~, BOSS, BCT I'LL A~IT WAIL STREET HAS i,~ A LITTLE %~DRRIED. V~at do you mean? I~,~LL I CAN BRING BACK THE ~?PEYI~SELF, BHT KL W ~,i I GO~D~A MOVE THOSE BUILDINGS? 8TH01 02361,~.2
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JACK: JACK: JACK: lARRy: JACK: LARRY: JACK: R OC~8TER : JACK: I~y: JACK: LARRY: JACK: lARRY: JACK: JACK: JACK: PHIL: JACK: #15 Now you're just being silly...Look Rochester, get my suits out of the closet and -~ (DOOR BUZZER) Co ahead, ~ochesterj I'Ii ar±swer the door. (COUPLE OF FOOTSTEPS, DOOR OPENS) Oh hello Tarry, why aren't you home packing? Oh I'm packed already..I just came over to see if I could help you. Oh I'm getting along all right, kid. Gee, Mr. Benny, I'm all excited...I've never taken such a long trip before. You'll love New York..won't he, Rochester? Yes sir' Especially this time of year..you'll see all that snow..and the air is so crisp and so cold. yeah, and don't forget, Larry, we change at Chicago. Oh I won't F~ve to, I've got mine on already! harry, I mean we chsng~ trelns..That's where we get off the Chief and t~ke the Twentieth Century. Oh. Say kid, what are you going to sing on our first program in New York?..~%ve you got it all set? Yes...would you like to hear it, Mr. Benny? yeah, I want to see if it's o~y. (PHO~ RINGS) Hold it a minute, kid, there's the phone. (CLICK OF RECEIVER) Hello. Hi ~, Jackson. Oh hello Phil, IJm busy packing..a~e you packed yet? [~TM01 023614.3
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f PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: R OCBES~R : JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: JACK: -6- #15 Well I would be but my laumdz~y hasn't come hack..my shi~ts and things. Well for heavemEs sake, we're leaving in two ho~,s,.. haventt you ~uy othe~ shirts? Nor those were the only ones I lad. 0h..well that's different...ROCHESteR, LET ETERYTH~IG ELSE GO AND FINISH YRON~G ~. ~ARRYS'S SHIRTS ~ ...HURRy IT. But boss, you promised Miss Stanwyck you'd got her stuff out first. MISS STANWYCK CAN ~IAIT, THIS IS AN E~'NCY..All ~ight Phi1, we~ll bring it to the station. O~ay, see you later, Jackson..I'ii meet you on the Chef. That's the Chief..the Chief..~het's the r~me of the t~a, in. I_ kn~% I pulled a switch:...}~ HA HA ~\..0H yAP~IS, Y0U 011gL¥-I{EA~EED CLAN..WI£~T IG~EpS YOU ~0M GOII~T H!G~ HAT? YOU BOY YOU: Because you can't ~et ~ high hat on a low br~v,..Now goodbye. (chiCK oF ~cE~) 0~y lar~y, letls hear tP~t song you'~,e going ~o do, will yoe, kid? (APPLAUSE) (SEG~ ]~T0 lARRy's N~F~R) (APPLause) /'t T ~0 1 023614.4
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<, JACK: LARRY: JACK: LARRY: JACK: JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: R OC~ESTER : JACK: R 0CHESTER : JACK: PAT: JACK: PAT: JACK: PAT: -7- #,~ {SEC~D Ro~yrT~ ) Yes sic...yes a~ee .... ~11~t~s swell, ~rry..Th~t sop~g ~ill be fine for next weekrs program..larry, I~Ii meet you at the ~nt~ Fe Statloa a P~if hour before our tr~q leaves. Okay..say IMp. Bennyj when youtre on this ~arch of D~les toum, will you want me to go along and s~g? Oh sure, sure, kid, I ~s depending on you..Now run along and I~iI see you later. 0~y, goodbye. go long, L~r~y. (DOOR CL Xg) ~,V Rocheste~ -- Yes boss. As long as we're going on this tour, do yom think I should take my violin to New York? YOU DO AND THEY'lL RUN YOU UP TH&T %P~EE T}~T GEC~Z IN BROOKLYN' They will not..Now go upstairs and get my viol'in. 01~y. CO~ I/~. (DOOR OPENS) ~rdon me, ~re you Mr. Benny? Yes ! My ~me is Wi~lbish....~icoLm Wi~bish. Uh huh. I heard you were golm' out of town for a while, and I thought n~ybe you'd rent me your house. P~ 1" ,~0 '~ 0236 I~5
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JAG~K: PAT: JACK: PAT: JACK: PAT: JACK: PAT: JACK: PAT : JACK: PAT: JACK: PAT: JACK: PAT: JACK: PAT: JACK: PAT : JACK; RQOI~STER : JACK: ROC~TER : -8 - #~5 Rent my house?..No, I don't think so. But gee, M-~. Benny, I -~aven't bad a place to live since T got here..The hotels are crc~vded, and you c~n't get an apartment and theylre always painting the Benches in the park. Well look --- Why last night i even tried to sleep on a streetcar. And you couldnlt sleep, huh? I eouldnft...Clang clang clang went the trolley. Wbat? Ding dlng d~g went the bell. Look --- Buzz b~zz BLIZZ. Went the buzzer? No, tl~a gu~ next to me, ~as sna~Img. Gee, Mr. BeD,my, i gotta flr~d a place to llve. I ain't got no place to sleep. 'N~II T'd llke to ~ent ~0~ ~ house, ~iste~ ~imhlsh~ but I:ii be back in jnst ~vo months. Well thatrs all z,i~t, I ought~ be &~ke by then. ~Nell..under the %i~um~i~ce~.ek~y, I~ii ~ent you th~ house. Tbanks..I~iI look around and see if I llke it. Oh oh...Well just ~nde~ %hy, ough the house, and if there's anything you don't like, let me kr~ow. That I will. (~cggone it, ~ith all the~e inter_~uptions, I'ii never get finished racking. ) Oh ~y boss -- Rochester, did 7o~ find m7 violin? Not yet, and I look~d every place. RTHO~ O236 I~6
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JACK: RO 6~HES~I~R: JACK: JACK: JACK: JACK: PAIZ//~E: JACH: PAULI~ : JACX: ~2~ ULIh~ : JACk<: PAULINE : JAOK: JACK: -9- '/19 Well did you look in the violin case? bq~ hd~..I 0?E~D ~ CASE, A~ ALL I FO[~ WAS PCL~ SdRIKG$ A}D A FAT TEP~ITE. What?..A termite ate L~g violin? NOT O},U~Y ~/AT..;~{EN I PEEK£D I%T VE S~IT q~TE ~RLTGE A~ Rochester, that's a big flh ~lld }~ou go it -- know ~t... Now go arJ fl/id my viol//1. (sooR BUZZER) Oh llov,~ wb~t ~s Jr...@0~E IS{. (DOOR C~S~) Hello. Ch Mr. Beruuy, <Em 2aul]ale, %ales LivingstoueEs maid. Yes 7es~ I know. Well [ came ove-~ to tell i~u that ~J~ss Livir~sto~e has a bad Cold..so Lnstead of meetJm~ 7fou ~t %~ bouse~ she~s ~oir~ right to the station ard get on the train. Oh, Miss Livlmzstor~ has a cold..tb~t~s too bad..Did you I tried to~ Ym. BermE~ but she~s tickl~sh. ~Tell, ~hat about ~b~ doctor? He~s ticklish too, ]'Io no~ Paul!r~..[ m~an what did ~e doctor sa~ about he~ cold? Well b~n, said she could go to h~ew -fork as long as she go~ rizht It_ b_er bert~ ~nd stayed there. Oh..Well +~mnks for comi~g o~er e~nd tellir~z me. You~re welcomm..Oh Mr, Betray -- -/es. RT,w,O'~ 0236, 14-7
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PAULI%TE : JACK: JACK: PAULI~: JACK: PA ULI%]E: JACK: PAULII~: JACK: P#T: JACK: PAT: JACK: ?AT: JACK: PAT: JACK: -I0- ~'.$15 ¢~at is it, Yaulir~o? ~at is ik? M~ss ~ivir~tone d~r.~t have roo~ for¸ £I! b~r ~ings~ so she ~ants 7ou to p~t this..(~IGG~S)..in you~ suitcase. . .Uh .this? ~s.. ([IC~2LES AGAIN) But Paul~le~ I ~OTJt waist to take tl-at..I ~lean suppose r~ suitcase falls o~e~ ~ ~ople see ~t, .l ~ean..~at would they thh~? Well they could thim3{- it's yours. M£1e donrt have t~ose cl~ps for the stock~m~£s .... Yow ?au]i~e, you bettel~ rmn down to the tr.aim..14iss i,~v~ngst~-~e ~a~[ r~ed you..Goodbye. Goodbye. (DO@ CLCZ~) PA[U~iI,~ ~AUL---Dh~ she took the ~irdle w~' !~-e~% .Good., Gosh, if I could J'/sz fi~Ish-- Say Mr. Be~<~ -- ~_uh?...Oh yes, yes. I looked aro~zd tLe hous~ ar~ it looks ~rett7 good, hut tell iae, do you have a~ inice? ~4ice? Well..! Lave to admit tkat we do have a few. Good, i baLe ~ live miomo. Oh ~h. I~iI go look at so~m of %km otheP ~ooms ~ow. v _es; make yo~self ~.t ho~...(][[%~ he~s a demooratic sort of a @zy isn't he?)...Oh say Rochester, I just Imp~ened to thlrk of somethlr~g..l~ve got to ~mke some speech~s at. several b~quets, so I hatter take along my %u~edo. PITHO'~ 023614-}3
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ROOHES~ : JACK: ROCPIESTEP : JACK: RO~STER : JACK: ROC~STER: JACK: -ll- Oh oh. "~tgzat ~ S the ~-ctez,? Well I was preBslz~~ your pa,lts~ and iron on a wee bit boo ~o~g, Oh my goodness..Did you burro__ a hlg hole ir~ ~em? BOSS~ IF ~I~E~S~.~C~mD HA~ ~QU~ A HOLE LNAT SIZE, ~TD HAVE SCORED A TOUO~DO~@L %~at? HOUG%U~Y, YCU ~E~ BIYHKED OUT ON -~E I~A--Y~RD L~T! Well iook~ maybe ! carl wear m~-- Y tl,i~ i ]~ft the ~k JACK: JACK: DON: JACK: D0}h JACK: DON : JACK: DON : JACK: DON: JACK: Oh, just ~b-er~ l~m im a hurry, (CLICK CF RECEF~ER) ............................. Look Do~-, l~m trying to get packed..what is it? l~,le got some terrible l~w$ for you, Well I b~te to tell you this~ but yesterday I lost the morey ~,ou gave me for, ~ne railroad ZicksLs ..... Oh for Leave~~ s sake..~e leave in less than an ~-our.. Did you put a~_ ad in the pa~er? Yes~ Jack~ I went down as soon as it ha~pened,.! wrote out an ad that said..LOST SATURDAY, I<ON~ FCR TICI~ITS YOR~. Good, ~ut th~ newspa~r said ~.t was too long, so I put it down to..LOST SATURDAY~ I~O~[E~/ FOR TIC~D~TS. Lost Satu~day, money fmr tickets. ,Well tl~t~s all ric~lt. ~ 1- }{O'I 0236 I&9
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DCN: JACK: D01~: JACK! DON: JACK: DON: JACK: DON : JACK: DON: JACK: ROCZESTER: JACK: PAT: SACK: ~AT: JACK: PAT: JACK: -12- .ID ~'% they ~aid 5t was st~il too ]ong, so I just used the in tJ~Ts I~w,~T. -- s ISV~T!..But Don, how will you get the homey batik?..LS!PT star~ds fo~~ LUC~T Strike means fine tobacco. ~f~%, DUC~/ STRI~'q ~{~A~ FINE TOBACCO. I know, I..But dig you get an ar~we~ to the ag you put L~ the u~per? IreS, one ~l~Tl oa]led U~ Good, .?~at did he say? ~e said..(DOES AUCTiON~Y~G'S CHA~, EB~I~G WIll SOLD ...... AMERICAN) ~AY. DON, Y0~ ¥£iA~- A }~AN CALLED Y0C UP JUST TO ~ ' .(DOEZ ~{AT~S ~'£-~AT !~ SAID, THAT'S %HAT I9~ I~N SAID, ~ SAID TIIATI V~AT? K~u, .l,~isg~]q~ scarJl]g ~e like that. ,Bllt t~e~ Don~ s kited of cute in hi~ fully packed ~,ay...GOCF~STEG, YOU BETTER START TAKING 0DT Z~ BAGS] WE~-TE GOTTA LFA\~ RIGHT ZO~'I. 0~Y, BOSS," C~Ay. I~ll just put or my Lie a~d my coos, ~ then I~ii be -- ready almost any time now.. • Say Mm. _~e~nr@- -- Oh yes, yes, I forgot about you. • lo~ked arourJ t~e house a~d I !~<e it a]] r~,t, but I tul~r~d on tb~ i'aucets in tho kitchen and ~fme hot ,a, ater r~Dr~ told and the cold water rD_ns rusty. RUSTY! Yesh. YOU~E IN GAL~OP~TIA~ BO~, I~[AT'S 0BA~IGE ~fICE .... _~OW HEREIS UlqE ~J~/...CO~ CN~ ROCHESTER, LETIS GO. ~T~O'I 0236150
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J, JACK: ROCHESTER JACK ; JACK: DCL~ : PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: ~EL: JACK: DON: JACK: -l>- k15 (CR~VD NOISES, TPAIT; BELLS) Oe~j the statiou ks orow~ed.~.Rochester -- ~res~ boss. Put on yelp red ¢&p a~d carry my bags to the trai~ .... I've gotta meet my gang. (OVER P.A.) TRAIN 7PAVING CN TRACK FIVE. ,FOR #~AHE]~. AZUSA AND CUCA~OKGA., .TRAIN J/%%VING (IN TRACF_ FIVE..FOR ANAIIE]~I, AZUSA F,I~D Cl-Cf4~Oh~GA! Gee, ~e wer.e ~Ii sappesed to meet here at the h-Por~tlon desk...l wonder,,,Ch there they rare.,. HEY PHIL, DON" -- fn~ILC JACK. HI v~ JACK~0N. ~y fello~'s~ Mary we~.t right to the traln~ sheZs ~et a cold. Oh tl#&~'s too bad. Say, what are you carrylr~g there ander your arm.° Well I heard ir~ was pretty cold in New Yo~k, ar_d i wa{~ tc be on the s~_fe side. BL~ JACK$CN~ A ~gb3~GE-POT! '¢lell~ llm no~ taktc~ any chances, ya know.,. (P.A.) TRAI~ L~.VINQ CN %RACK FI-~..FCH ANA}~]]4: AZUSA AND CUOAMONGA., .DCES ~YBCD~ WANNA GO TO ~NAHEI}4, AZUC~ ¢R CUCA~IONGA ? Say, Don, have you got all the tickets? Well, not quite, Jack, ,.At the last m~ute Phil sa~d ha nae~e~ an extra one. Phil, who are you sneakir~ on this tPiD with ~eu? A]'H01 0236151
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JACK: RrJBI~T : JACK: RUB!I~ : JAO~t: RUB]HI ? JACk: JACK: RDB]]~ : - 14- ,~z:. PHIL: Well, it's Framkle, my gaitar player...I go,ha take h~m aiomg on accounfi of the r~agazi~es. JACE: The magaziaes l F~L: "feah~ he reads to me.~ JACK: Oh for goodmess sake, mow I have to buy s,nother ticket. RUB!N: Hi ya, Jack..Where y~ bee~..l ai2't seen ya arourd. JACK: V~rb&t?..0h heliD, hello, PHIL: Whols tb~tj Jackson,? JACK: Oh heTs a r~,ce track toub b~ L~ed to h~,~_g aroun~ Holl~ood Park you kac~,i. I~ii meet yoa ~ter, fellows.. Now !et~s see..the ticket window oagbta be -- WA~D~, O0 TO ANAHEI~ AZUSA OR C~C#~C~NGA~ JACK: ~ow let me see..the tic'~e~ window oughta be -- R~BD~: (CON_~ID~TTIAL) ~iey Jack..Zack..come hcr~ a mir~ute. JACK: Huh?..Oh i~:s ~ a~ai~...what is it? RUB~: i dldn~t w~.t to say aay%hlm~ while yo~ ~ere with )-our friends..b~.t, .where you Zolm~ ? ~I-Bt train y~ takimT ? The Chief. Uh ~b. Whz, wh~t~s th~ mabter? Take the E1 Capitaa. But I li~e th~ Chief. Come b_e~oe a mimube. T&k~ my tip~ b~d..the E1 C~91te.~ ~ill belt the Chief irfho Kansas City b~r three lec_~ths. RTH01 0236152
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JACK: RUB~T: JACK: RUB]:':: JACK: R~IN: JACK; RDB~r: JACK: RUBIN: JACK: RUBle: JACK: RUB~ : JACK: Y~L: J~OK: NELSON: JACk: -:5- #:5 Wilt? Acco~OiF_g to ~este~da~z8 perforr:~Ec~ it OaLlt :£1S~, Well lookj l~m sorry, but l~m takiL:B the Chie£. Lcok..oor¢e here a minute. Huh ? I was t~ikinI to the engineer whets z'idln~ E1 Capitan: a~d be tells me that ~ ~he~s ~. Well..I dom,~t k~,ew-- m , A:d look ~,t tae b~eeding.,El Capita9 is oy T~em,~teth C~nturF o~t of Golde: grate Limited. Well, thanks for t~e tip, bu: i'm golf4{ to stlcL-< tc the C blef. Why? Come here a mimate. Domlt noise this aroL~nd, see, NO... But I four.d out tae Chief is ~ s:~eper...lqow so leng~ fellah. C~ay, okA~r,,so long. Now let:s see..ths tic-~t wil]dow should be -- A2~ CUD#Afi~GA..(CXZl-~,~) l~0K, 'JZ~RE NOT ASK~iO ~,[JCH.. T~4O OF YOU..OR ~T CN~] OF YOU, .JUST S~BODY TO K~P THI] ",~GII~R CC~IPAN~f~. ~'4ere~s the ticket window. Ok ~don me~ ~re you the t iclo~t clerk? Well what do you thi~k I am it- this cage, a eatery? Well do~.It get ~Tfy about it, all : wa~t is a ticket On tile Chlof. F~TH01 0236153
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NELSON : JACK: NE~ON : JACK: NELSON : JACK: NELSON : JACK : NELGON : JACK: . NELSON : JACK: I.~L : JACK: _~E LS ON : -16- ,'/z5 0h..Would you like the sixty dollar ticket or tn~ h'dndred and forty dollar ticket? Well..ub,.~hat's the differenoe? Well, with the hundred and forty dollar ticket you ride ~ell uaturallv I W.a.nt to ride o9 the Inside...After all. IJm not as young as I used to be. You're not as young as ~ used to be. Now donlt ~et fre~kh..All I waut is a ticket to Ne~ York. Return trip? NO, o~e W~y. NCW CUT THAT (!iT..And stop wastlug time, ! have to get to New York by Thursday. I1m sorry, but our trains are all booked ~p. Well thi~k man: think, there must be one train tb~t has room for me! (P.A.) liI~VI%[O ON TRACK FIVE..FCR ANAI{Er~, AZUSA AND CUC~4CNGA... (GOES CRAZY) LOOK, LOOK..~ERE ARE F_m£E THCU~ND PEOPLE i~ TT{IS STATION..ISN'T Tf~ERE SC~BCDY,. 8/~60DY..AP~£ T~ERE ANY VOLbgYTEERS?..pLEASE PLEASE P~SE, ItLL GET FIRED IF I DON~T GET S~ ON ~7{~ TRA]9~ FgE ANA~IM, AZbSA Ah~D CUCAMONGA.z LOok, clerk, I~ve waited here long enough, and youZve just gotta -~ Well well, you're lu luck, BI~e Eyes..I found one ticket on the Chief. Good, I~ll take it. (NkqGAPHONE EFFECT) ~ri~ CI{IEF, LEAVING FOR N~ YORK, ALL ADOA~D ! o2 s s4
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JACK: RCC~STER : JACK: N~L : JACK : BAI/~; IN : T~FY: JACK: JACK: BAL~W IN : JACK: E~L: JACK: DON : -17- #15 kWRRy UP..HURRY UP~ WILL YOU, OLCRK? T'r~NKS.. BOBS, BOSS...BOOS00COOSSOOOOSSSSZSS I. 1 .I (TRAIN WHISTLE I4]~4ICS ROC}~STER) I~ coming., .i:m comia~... (P.A.) (CRYING) TRAIN LEAVING ON TRACK /I-VE..FOR ANAHEI]~, AZUSA AND CUCAMONGA HAS JUST BEEN CANCELLED. (cRn s] 11~ C~4~G, FELIAS, IIM CC~G..WAIT FOR ~E~ ~b.IT POR I~g. (TRAn~ EFFECT L?) Goodbye, ~arlaa. Goodbys, Bill. LOCK, THIS IS NONE OF ~Y BUSINE~, BILL, BUT YOUID BETTER HURRy TOO{ What for?..~y tPain doesn't leave till AT~il! APRIL.: Goodbye, ?da~iar_. Goodbye, Bill. Well I:ll be -- 7~ JACKSON, V;%IP~ NOVI'~..'~'Uf~Y UF~ (MUSIC CC[dCS IN AND S0[~CD OF T~AIN PULLinG OUT WIT;{ ,~L EFFECTS ) IiM CGMING..I'M C~G. J~AIT FOR ME: (~USIC UP FULL..TRAIN UP WI~ W]<ISTL~) (APpIAUSE) Well, Jack will be back in jus~ a mlnate~ bat first here is my @ood friead, F. E. Booae. AT)401 0236155
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BOONE : RUYSD~KL: D~: RUYS~%EL DEIM : RUYSDAEL: TIOK~R: RUYS~EL: JACK BENNY 2ND REV. ~ROCR~M #15 (SWITCHOV~ TO NE~ yORK FOR CLOSING CON~CIAL) V CLOSING C 0M~RCIAL (CHANT - SOLD ~amlc~) Smoke that smoke of fine tobacco! SmOke that smoke of fine tobaccov. Yes, ladies and ~entlemen~ smoke that smoke of fine_ tobacco ... LuckV Strikef. Fo__rr Lusk~ Strike mea~s fine tobacco ... and in a oi~amotbe, it's the tohacoo tb~t counts. It ~kes fins tobacco to make a fine c~amette. P~o~mb~r - Lu~k~ Strike means fine tobacco -- so rotund, so firm, so fully p~cked, so free and easy on the drawI. The famoDs tobacco auctioneers heard On tonight's program were Mr. L. A. (Speed) Riggs, of Goldsboro, North Carolina (CHANT - SOLO AM~qICAN) and Mr. F. E. Boone, of Lexingt~u, Kentucky (9HA~T - SOLD ~ICAN). This is Basil Ruysda~l spe~klr~ for L~ck~ Strike. (2a3, 2&3) LS-~ LS_ - Smoke Lucky strike -- the ci~rette that msans fine tobacco, yes. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, so round, so firm, so 9tully packed, so f~ee and easy on the dmsw~. (SWITC"~aV~ TO HOLLYWOOD F~ JACK BE~ SIGN 02F) F~T~O 1 0236156
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JACK: PAULINE : JACK : PAULI~T~ : JACK : MEL: JACK : ~[ZL : JACK : Mh~L: JACK : - ig- (}15 (TRAIN RUNNI~fG S~OCTHLY AND WHISTLE) Pauline, howls 14iss Livingstcne? ~%, shels fine. Can I 60 in the c~artment and see r~er? Well shels asleep ~Ig~t now. Oh..Well I;ii see her later...Say, conductor -- Yes sip? i{o~" leng before ~e set to San Bernardino? Ch, itIli be abo~ two hours, sir, Twc ho~..why so long? First we gotta Zo through Ar~heim, Azusa a,~d CucamonZa. Gh..that guy gct h~s wa7 an~ay., .Goodnight, folks. ARM01 023615?
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RUTHRAUFF ~ RYAN Inc. ADVERTISING CLIENT: PROGRAM: RADIO DIVISION AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRIEE - L.S./M,F.T. THE JACK B~NNY PROgrAM REBROADCAST: 9: 30-i0: OOPM,pWT STA: KPO, KOMO~ ~/J, , ~: nOADC~.~EV. #16 ~8, DATE: JAN. 14, 1945 NBC NETWORK: DEINAE: RUYSDAEL: BOONE: RUYSr~EL: TICKER : RUYSDAEL: SHARB T: (Ex. ~ RIIYSI~L: INIZ~: SHARBUTT: I AS BROADCAST THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM: Quallty of product is essential to continuing success. Luck~ Strike means fine tobacco -- so rotund, so firm, sc fully packed, so free and e~sy on the draw! LS - ~T 18 - ~@'f L$ - ~T Yes, sir'. Sure thing: That' s right ! Lucky Strike means fine tobacco -- so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw! (~o~) RTHO? 0236158
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JACK BF$~ 5TH P~,f. PROGR~4 #16 RL~SDAZEL: RIGC-$: That reaL, deec-do~a smoking enjoymeut FOU ~t i< your Lucky ~rike c~ be desc~ibe~ i~ j~st f±~e wo~ds -- ~ Strike means fine tobacco~ Yes~ Fou get ~e~l dee~-do~m, smoking e~jo~lem% because of that fine~, iighter~ natu~ally milder L~cky Strike tobacc3. So, smoke that smoke .of #ine~ j~_obacco -- Luc~z~j Szrike. (Cl{<~ - SOLD .<~c~RICA~N) (Z~ITCHO~rER TC HOWL ASTCff, [ Y~ FOR JACK BE~Yh~ ]~RC CPZM ) A ]'RO'I 0236159
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DON : DON: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: ,,ACK: D0N ; - • #;L6 {FIRST ROUTIrE ) LUCF~L STRIKE PRCGRAM...CO[<ING TO YOU FROM T~ ASTOR HOTeZL IN i$~9 YOPd~ CITY...~ARRII,!G JACK ~3~]TI, ~VITH )~RY LIVINGSTO~ rYlL ~RRIS~ ROCHESteR, LARRY STE~7~S~ AI~ "YCD~S TRULY" DON WILSON. (APPLAUSE) (k'~SIC tm AND FADES OUT) AI~D l¢~J~ D\DIES A~ GEOL--, Z ~RZNG yOU A ~AN I/~!0 COT ON A ~1%~I~ L'I ~OS ANGEZ~S A)© CA~ TO N~'i yOf~K BY INAy OF A~ia2~!I(~ AZUSA AbTD C%CAMONGA~ I~Tsa t scer~ry~ ADD ~ ~ IS,~ .T~E STAR OF OD~ b~HCTN...JACK BE.,I'~FI/.~ (APPLAUSE) T~ak you, fiharZ< you, thark you...H¢II~ agaln~ this is Jack Bs~aTy ~alk~ng.., .And Don~ when I arrived in New York, now ycu wench believe this, • got official welcome...Zn fact~ I¢~yor LaGuardia war, ted ze to be with hEa so much, he made ire a~t honorar~ flre~n • ..Gosh, wha~ ~ home~ ~t was ~o meet M~yor LaGuardla.. There h~ was; dressed up im his fire hat arJ eve-~thir~ •..And Dsn, when he shcQk ha~nds with me I was chilled. Jack, you r~eaz~ tbmilSed, No, ohi!led,-- he stuck a cold nozzle ~ my ha~d.. ~elZ~ ar_yway~ Dcn~ here we a~ ii~ New york...~at a tovu~...i dealt ~ow what it is, but it's So different from Waukegam....Yes sir: you r~al!y icve New York, do~-l~t you, Jack? We[i... I... ~ like it...yo~t _kr~o~... Like J~...Why Jack, when we arrived here the fimst thlmg you did when you stepped off the train was ge~ do~n ~r~ kiss the gz~u~d. ~ T~O'I 0236160
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~ 9 ~ 9[:L;:O I 0},~,7 ~l :]lUffs' : l{OO :XO'. :XOV[' : ~]0@ :~OVL" :NOG : ]I0@ :~OV? :~OV[' :~OC :~[)V["
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JACK: I knew whez~it is, you bin fathead...All r~ght, lP~n~ ! ir~de ~ p~omise &r~d IFm goi:~g bc stick ~¢, ~t.. /&,u can ] bee at the Waldorf. ZiON : Thanks. JT\CK: ~r~l be~z,e~a a !m~lfui ,' r~/oRe] s. you }~low wber'e to oat.o.No 12re sfiandir~ in ii~le fo~' change. ~r - - T T PHIL: ALL RIGHT~ _~Ol}[S....[ {NO~ TI{E TEI~ERATURE DROPPED ,_~f: BUT HAP~IS ±o HERE TO "iE&T UP THIS JC!N2 .. HI YA, FTE}LTA~iS! ,,APPU~YSE ) .A6K. Ph11~ 7o,J don~t have to bust in here like ~ he~t wave.. H~rris ~s 2e~e to ws,~m up the j,_,i~...!b's lot that col( in New Yok. l~Hil,: [I; ain't huh? JACK: No. P~L: We]i, it's the ~zrst time I eve~ seen the ot~u~ ' L~berty blowir~Z on her hands .... HA HA HA ,, ~K P~.RRiS. YOU JOY ~]Y...YOU~E~ RI£££T PRCM DIXIE AHD ~U HE I~'} .~ ciR. Y()L~ CUPS. you ~rID: "IV;S, ~ ,:;A{]K; Phil~ stop with thcs~ si ly ,~ags...Ever~yhody wh@ ~ea~t stam~ the ccid r~-kes up jokes about ~t,, ,if you were red blooded llke ! am, you co~id st&nd th~s bype t f weatheP. HIL: Oh sure, sure.. ,TACK: VT~8,t do yogi Irezrl~ oh s~ii~e; ~uPe? PHIL: Remember the other morning when 7fcu wer~ sh~vfi.r~ and cut yourself? JACK: Yeah. PHIL: Your Blood came out, we~t hubba hubba and cra'~led ~, right bac~ in a~ai~. ~] ]'RO I 0236162
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jACK: JP~GK: B~K: JACK: -~EC K: JACK: BECK: ,)ACK: SECK: ,lACK: BECK: ~ACK: P~K: ;~K: JACK: JACK: BECK: -++ +~++16 W+L]_ th+t P,~Dp+~!+d whe~l ~ f'Jz++t '~L ]le_~e+ Rut I~m ge ttir~.,. (~],10cY ON l:0R I COw~ IN, (oooR oP~',~s ) Mr. Benr~+ l'd ]ike co :Li~t,~+oQuc+ myself.. +l'm +i,]-+. E+ck+ tho mafla~e~+ of +he ?-stor Hote7, Eow do you do, sir+ At~O skc" ++ou+>e honoring us by bro~dc£st+P~ ++;+ore D:+ }:allrocm, I w~lt %o m~k+ inure thB+t nobhillg ~r'terferes with your p-~'ogr--~a. ~/e]l th,~p~k you+ tharLk ~r,Dll.++ .[[ou+pe VBPy CoDsid~P&te. Are i311~ mioropbop~s work~+~ &:l.] ~i~ht? Yes yes. I better ~mk< sure, np two thi~ee four~ One "~wo tbr~ee ~@]~', s-~LLO MQM~ o,:'-e tw(, t~_~'ee four One two thl~ee fotr+. f~ok, !.ook t~G ~ic!'oDho[~es sre ,%1] !~]ght. Good, because i don t w~nt anyth±~ to ]_ntepfere with your program. orchestra :s Solr~ %o - play s. rmmbe~... i[s ~he piano ~n tune~ Yes~ the pia:~o~s iu tune .... (lAST al'£m~G OF PXAN0 £EyS] T.COK, TI£~ PIAN(NS IN N~N~ I~'S ]~ TU~,I (MORE HITTING 'F PIAIP KEYS) . BgCK, WILL YOU ~Vg}%SE -- FN'H01 0236169
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JACK: BECK: JACK: BECK: JACK: JACK: (PIANC PiAYS DARKTO%_~- STRUTTERS %ALL~ ~ZRY CORN~) MISTER BECK...MISTY~ BECK. •.MISTER BECK....Believe me~ everything is aL! rlght. Oood, because i don't want ar~ythlng to interfere wlth your program. I know, I know, everything is fine. Well then I'71 be running along...Ar~ if there's anyth~l~g you need, just -- LOOK 0~, LOOK CUT FCR THOSE STEPS! ~. BECK~ (TERR~F-C BI~ CP~.SH) I knew that would happen, I knew it. Play, Phil. ( APPLAUSE ) (SE~UE If~"Yo BAND ,~<N]~] (APPLAUSE) ~THO? 023616~
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JACK : PHiL : rACK : PHIL : JHCK: PHI L : PHIL : JACK: PHIl,: PHTL: bCN: PHIL ; DON : PHIL: JACK: P:{IL: Nr Tb£t was AcceaLuace the Positive'~ played by ~h£i Z£~i~i8 New T srk~ Net{ {avetl art3_ Xt ~houb~rt l~p~er_ LO .~.rtz'ePd~ orohessPa...T[~tls the O[lO I w&r-Led ~&~-? to hear s~ heme...Say, P~il, ~ love tb~zb ~.g...wheP~ ~ld you ~Lck up ;hese :o-{s? Wh~t az'e $,~I~ tslk!~ ~houz, th~s ~S mZ "~m~U-&~ oechestr&, i brought %m zPom Ho~lT~lood. ~om Ko]l?m~ood? "~h,. YDLI ,jtlSZ ~CC[~Z PeeO~tJIZe [era~ the3-tre weai~l'~ Shoes? <h~ yes, they &re...P~il, h~ it_ the V~OP±~ (iiJ- :[ told :et~ it w~s a p~bliclty stunt. Oh Ch.,~We!L &~e ~hey 9~vit!g fa~ here LC:. New Ybrk' L~eil~ their fee h~z-~ ~om, but thev~t~e .%avin: a ~lccr~ bime. Th~t~s fins. ~ow about 7o:~ Denzy..are ,~ou e~joy£mg your stay i~e~-eY I SLm~ am~ Hzil..especiaLly si~c~ my wife is ~;ith ,:e. 0b_ yeah~ Z fez%or, this is your ~tlm~ve'~sa~'y~ isn't i.: i~.ppv ~mmLvers~rq/~ De~. Well taanKs.. ,And :;c~ ko_ew ~b~, Fh~l? NO~ ~,'lLt~ D ? J~ck ~s ,p~_ying aii t,~e expenses Pop my wife ar~ me ~ the Waldorf Astcrla. Say.,tbat~s ~,re~b.,.J&ck who? J~cm ~e_, hhabls J~ck who...£~m p~yiag all tb.e e~er, ses for DO~ a~d, his /~fe w~i!e ~hgy~ tm New (et~k, .it was ray 0~ i.Ele&, It cam% be ta~ heat, it's oolc~ here. R'r'H01 0236 ;697
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q, JACK: DQ~[ JACK: DON : JACK: PHIL: JACK: DON: P~IL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: DON : JACK: DON: JACK: PHIL: JACK: -7- #i6 All right, It:s cold here. By the way, Phil, I saw yea ias~ a£ght at Prank FayZs new show...Did yea ~ee it, Jack? ~rauk Fay?...Not yet, Den. Well dealt miss it, he's a sc~eam..(IAUGHS) I tell you, Jack, my sides still ache. Oh...Frank Fay, ~uh? Yeah..ycm should have been there, Jaok~oa.,.You know, Don laughs louder at F1,ae~ Fay t~n he does at yomo Oh oe dees~ eh? What else did yo~ see, Phil? Ch Iive seen a lot of shows...Yo~ know I*ve been goin~ to t~e theatre every night. Frao/~ Fay, huh? I saw Blaeme~ GirL, I saw laughing Room Cnlyj Mexican Hayride, and then I saw e -- thtr~ -- called -- ~TST A )4IhT-TE, PHIL...LISTEN WILSON. WEATIS $0 ~Y ABCL~T FRANK FAY? WELL TO ±~ELL YOU THE TRUTH, ~+ACK, I THINK HEIS ONE fF THE GREA.ImEST CC~JEDZANS I'VE EVER SEEN. CH YCU De, L~? %YELL TI~F~ GET H~___i TO PAY YOUR WIFEIS EXPENSES AT T~ WALDORF...Z Im no sucker. But Jackscn, you don:t expect Don to ~o to a show and not la~l~h at it, do you? No, b~t he doesn't have to keep raving about Frar~ #ay sll th@ tlm6. RT~01 0236166
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D0Z¢ ; ~;APK; DON : ,FACE : PHIL : JACK: I~IL : JAC K: ~HIL .,A,,K. )nN JA(~ K__ : 0P,N : JACK: EARRY: JACK: ~. JACK: ]: wasnEt t'avimZ abcut him. Z just said ]i like~ ill,c:. All right, you !i~ ~im..~h~t :~oesriIt t~eaL2 yctt have ~c ~o a-~,cun~ Be]l~.n~ r~epie that ~jl washed {~..~<ev ~= £~or_~_&... Z t%< £%~2, ~[ " . • I I c,zn re~£ %etweei~ [;he lines, brothe2.~ Whst ~re Zou talkiP~ ~hou.t? TITs] MT2%U'L~E HE t}±TS [~ Tr%~N; Hk]IB GOTTA R[~ }~[G~T (\'ER AND SEE F~ANK FAY iS iK[]~ • How wait & mi~_ute; JacksoL] .... '['-~m~ :Z~ (]CW~S TO "£~ PRCIDRAIJ AND ALL HE, T!&l~5 ABCUT =3 8RANK 9AY. P~ANK ~-'~; FPANK FAY,..TbY~T S ALL E i:E&R, FRANK FAy, Flq6['[K FAT, ..... W~[] ~NbAt 8boliL _,, K ,%q~] K,9 R~.SON ;OR PAYTNG b IR8. WZLBONIS II~L re'IT : :lU.,. .~ . , DON, 3h ho[f~ i[ wish -~ ce[lid ~et o'=t of inn [{i~d!e ti~t e~8],. ,e~er mired the ,iekes..2o,ill~e heP8 to de the ccms:epclR2. %rid Ltrs hime we <s~i oLe...so {o ,9!~e&d with }S. Well J,zck, 21 ~i- • • e =Om=A ~,~e tt1~r~SiOL2e4. this tO to:A, b'~t ~e sponsor tc].~ [<e that t~hile "~e!f9 i~. New KoPk 2ei% like little v~rfet[[ cr the cor~'~ercfais~ so he:s se~&i~ OVer' r{ SDeC~l p2!o_otlf_eer tO rlc Ie~. Oh~ oh, .we].2 he ~11 ~)robAbly shct~ up...That ~s s~ramge~ t, Pi~'~,in~ in &ncthep ~,2~ou~oer...i i~cGdel~ ~'--- Ke!lo, :/(t'. F)eRm7. Oh hel]% f£~fmy. [{ow ~re ~Ot~ APPL%USfE ) Well, !~rry., 7ou got here just~'- time to do rout son~, ~ ]"HO I 0236 16P
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JACK: ,JACK: TAP~: J;CCK: ,TACK: JACK: JACK: MINNIE: ,/&CK; k~CW, ~I~ Tlm FO r_e]2VOUS..[trcl sang ia New fc~,k. ,'aS Well i cam u[aderstaud ;xw you l'e~ [dd.,Z~l uever fcr~et ~he ±'L~s~ t~me i p~aye~ ~t~ ~io~!!L her~ ~ Ne~ Y~rk, ° ,! was just acout Fou~ a~e~ at_& ± was j~st ~s Well ~o!~ shc~l~:ve b~@i1 with those rndla~ ~hccti!~~ i~. Now g~ &hea~ &~#~ ~i~g~ kii~ ~!~& &o~I% worr~ ~[(~Rfi bhe i~&iau$,. ,I meam d~u:t ~orry about amythi~ (,kay. (S®~ND: ~CCK £N rC0R) Hc!d it a mimute~ ki~...CCf~(E r~. (s~D: DOOR e~RtS) res ? ~r. B~y, i am comir_g here to ~elcom~ 7cu to ~[ew igor~, ~lu resambli~ ~&The ~he Bloomer [}i~,~? Ob_~ ~c~ ~i&ve a #esbB~ii~8,~lt'J 4r, ~ f:N~<O I 0236'16B
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MINNIE: JACK: MINNIE: JACK: MINNIE: JACK: ~YNN IE : 4AOK: MINNIE: ,JACK: MINNrE: JACK: MINNIE; ~AOK: MINNIE: , JAC~ : 7 Yes~ ~nd ~L~t a -,~ I!~ntic pl&oe~..We feature soft lights ~tld imz~ ~aiaml, Well~ _'ll be '~e~y happy to drop Jn..o~it ] didn% ]'~lOW yC~l We~ .~r~ t~ 7'eZt~l~flt bllsiness. This is Girly of ~ -~cent i~ture...i h~ve ~,t~n ~:Lr~r-ing ~hls z~staure-<_,~ only since i ~toprea wor~ing for... yoi~ should ~xouse the expl~sslom .... FI~d Allen~ Oh...Oh...OH.~ I see .... !{oh o~_y is mire r~t~uran~ s~rving tb: i~,et fpo~t deiioae~es, hub we are also ~%&turing <~ floor sh©w which wuul@ ~mJ<e Hei~m/z Biillngsley tllrn ~reek wish en\~. Oh, j~ou have a f]ot~r show too? Ues, a~m Ibm my feature attraction D*ext week I a~ tl~Jing to ge~ Frar/~e~rf. ($1Cr~) you mean Sinatra? YOU IELL YZ V£N~ VE SHOUz/D V~_ET AGAIN .... I um tell in$ him im~tar~tly ! Mrs. Nussbaum .... Arid "~-han he is sin~ing 'Don~t ~noe ~ In,' ~ ~.. already waitlr~ %t the g~te. Well, ~rs. Nusshaum, I~ll be very ha~my zc cc~s tc your ress&ur~-nt .... but how do I ~!st the~e? F~rst you are t~kin@ the suow&y... Th~_n you ~re cross!r~ the bridge, and you %re firdin~ yourself in...you should excuse t~he ~,xpressior~... 8roe klyn... Oh .... f% ]'~{01 0236169
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-z~ - #z6 }~I]~L~iZ,; Ana Mr. %ar~y, ~,cu ~hould re~l~ze bow iuoi.~ar yo~ aL~@ ~rt :ilTVitin~- ~rOiA 5'0 ll!iP_O i~DSt~9~Lr~l]~ cn ,4 -- ~ttr±da;i. MINNIE: Ve!l~ L wi]J, cLar.t~- .... in mir~ peEt~iurant. ;n Konda,ys we ar{~ ~mv~ng ~ieat]ess l" eaday. 'his is -o]Icwed "0%~ Ity'h@ar~y-!es~ Wednosd%.y, JACK: Tya h':h. c]Fde _~8 ~z'Jd£;,...~rli Sci~&-~.. suPgr --~ + "': " d:< ~ ,~- ,:I~a~ • - . -<l,~ vel! 7{cni el,lie Cn JACK: Why? [/IT}$~7~: BaqJ3At~)m O{ ST%]]By. • ,, o .... (DOC-a sh%~% ) ( APFTJ\U$E ) JACI<. WeLl, ZB was 06~I'Lg.~IL-[; ffllO@ 888119@ ~'~- NIISB~LtI~IZ 9,galn...All right, ka~i,~g~ gg s.heg, d ~nd sgn~. E'kRi{t-: 0h. say, ~r. ~nny, i meant ho ~-ts.< ~o,£,.?;~@Pe's Hiss Livit.gstcne ? to the o~o~arl %c the hotel.,.ilm s~are sher!i he + #9' W[~h !is rleX~ g~e~K, %ell, ~[r. PeTS<y, ~'culd it t~ aii right !f i dedicate cry muraber to her? (th thattd ~ ve~r lliee, L%l~r5-, %r/i Lira %rare ~he~ll ...... m &head and sing, kid. ( AppLAUSE ) (3EGTJE INTO IARRY~S, i'K]MBER) #91"HOI 0,..,6 ~, <,
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JACK: LARRY: JACK: LARRY : JACK: LARRY: JACK: lARRY : JACK: JACK: FRED: IhCK: T~CK: F}~ED: JACK: -12- #16 (THIRD RO~ INE ) That was "The Night is young ar~ youlre So BeautifulF sung by Lar~y Stevens. The candy bar kid,...And, Ifm sure Y~ry liked...Say, LArry, this ~s your first trip to New york, isn't it? Well, hay8 you beer, ~t]~whe~e~ ~ve you seen a~y of the sights? Well, I wsnt to Central Park cmd the Bronx. Zoo..Ar~ yesterday ,nhen I was walking along the street, I saw the ~mpire State bdildlng. Oh, you know that's the tallest building in the world, ya know. I know, so I tcek an elevator a~ went all the way up to the top. Well: Did you look doWn at the street? What forj I just camm from there. That calls for mo~e kind of an answer there..Larry, the only reason people take the elevator to goupto tr: (.~.~CCK o; DOOR) C Oi~ IN. (DOOR OPENS) Hello, everybody..Gsod Evening, ~r. 9~r2~y. (APPLAUSE) Why, Fred...Fred Allen, how are you? "Nell, I haven't ti~e to banty pleasantries, Mr. Benny, This isn't a social call, I'm here on business. ~/slness ? Yes, your sponsor hired me to read the co~rclal. Oh, so youlre the guy...But Fred, I thought radio was through with .... I mean you we~ through with r~io. AT~O'I 02361;:'1
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FRED: JACK: FRED: JACK: F_RED: JACK: FRED: JACK: ~RED: .-ACK: P~D: "ACK: I~ED: -'aSK: Well I haven' t got ~ own program a1~y mo~@~ but ! dq odd jobs..A com~erc~al here~ a sound effect there~ and ~r. occasional sob on rrJohnTs OtI~' Wife," And by that you ~age to eke out a living? If it floesn't make you too u~±appy.,yes. Hmm. Ar:d here I am tonight, s]~r~£:~ on ~,oar ,=!~owo Slu~ing~ Poz, your ~_~'or~tior., Allen, ~ program is right up oz~ top. On top[ Listen Be~y, you~r~ progr£~ I~ so low gravity will have r_othi~g to do wi~ it~ YOU won' t fL~-d it there. I called it_ a l!Ltle writer that was goirlg by on the street. And further~,ore. (He gave me this hz case d~e other or~ didn't go) Furthermore, your prog~am is so full of corn It's rating goes up az~d J~n with the gra~ r-arket, That's the one we gave you. Yes, ~-~d a~other thing..I don~ t believe ~az~ Livirdston~ is sick at ail..You just ~a~e her stay home so you'd be 8~/'0 of Ol!e listener. All ri6ht~ all right.You came ~e-~e to read a commercial so do it and get out of hese. Oh, Mr. Bermy, you're losing your temper. I am smt losing my temper! Well you~ forehead is getting red ri~ht un to th~ ~.oot~ Of y@ir taupa,y. Listen, AIIon.,i don~t kno~ why ray spor~o~ had to send you over..Doesr~~ t he ~uw that I pay Don Wilson a big salary to ~ead the commercial? Can't Wi]son r~ad it? RT',401 02361P2
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FRFD: JACK: FRED: JACK: FRED: JACk: FF~D: ~CK. ,ACK: J#CK: P~D: JACK : -14- .}16 Yes, Jack, hut your spor~s@i. Feels []bAt ~ith the local "~Lttche_~ olI strike~ it i~r-Tt r~ 8~iJ ±~r all that boer to linger too !or~ in one ~ot. Well the~ all right~ rea~ tha co~t~ercial a~ ge~ out of All right...Well ~ow, will you ~%ep . ~-d., Mr. ~rmy. I "o~e big words anJ m&k~ g~sh~o,~ -~!il ~..< a Lot of ~oom. Will you ~t~p back fr.ci! ~he r:IcPor~ong~ All ri~t~ all ~1~bt_~ ., go ahe~d~ ~]a~i{ you. < ~LL~ ka~o FINE TOB.,CL,~. Click Click C]ick click c~c~: Slick "lick -- C]ick Click Click• .Click click-click click click. Wait a minute -- are you ~oiug ~ co~merclal, o~ do you have lower ul~te wobble? Nic~ to get or, e in myself • ~re o'n.ce i~ awhile. Quiet..Dlease, Mr. BerJ~y, ~hlm may be ~r~ b~g oD~ortur~ity. Click Click -- Click Click Click. YES SIR SURE %HIKG! T£~TIS RIBI{T~ OH BOY! V~HC0! LUCI<Y '~t diction. SO ROJHD, S0 FlRff~, 1~']9 LIKE ~. BR'~H/~IS ~t~LLEI:, SO FT/LI~ PAC}]~D. NOW look --- BUT U~I~ I~. BEI~PZ:S WA/I~T, LUC~ S~RIKES ABE ~ A~D EASy ON ~ DRAW. Now wait a mlnut~ -- WIll{ ME~~ WHO }U~OW TOBACCO B~gT, iTIS !~CK~S TWo TO Ch~: ~hat~ s 'oette~~. ~]*~f01 02361P3
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-15- i;d5 FR2~D: A}J) ~i~ A~'~ it~_C ~JC~ CSA~D/AKS ~EST~ ITI,~ A~L.,L,I',~4., A,L.. L,~,~'L JACK: IT'S B,Z..K,N.Y...B ,E--N,N,y. FR'D: (STARTS AUCTICIK~'H CFA?~) JACK: Free], that ~s enouch. JACK: FRED, THAT'S ENOUGH. FRED: ( CONTItTOES CHANT) JACK: FP~D[ FRED: LLNrT STOP ~,JACK, UP 'TIL NCW THIS IS T}~ CLT%-EB~ST DIALCGL~ ON YOD~ SHOW. JACK: 'A~IA T? FRED: (CONTIh~CES CHANT, ~OKING AWAY FROM f41KE) JACK: FRF~D, I~r~RE ARE YCU GOTNG? FRED..LCOK OUT FOR 97{0S~- S TEPS (BODY FALLING D0~% STEPS3 THEN TEPRIFIC CRASH) JACK: F~D...FRED, ARE YCU HURT?...FRE~, SAY SO~TH~O! FRED: (OFF MI~) SOLD A!,~RICAN[ JACK: "~5%T A GUY[ JACK: You kq~ow, Phil~ I c8/%I t ~nderst~n@ the sponsor sen~ing a guy l~e that ove~ heme to ~o a corr~¢lal. X{!L: Oh I don't know, Jackson,.Allenls a pretty sharp apDle.. You know he was on Information Please. =ACK: So ~hat.~. .live been on with the Quiz Kl6s three t~zes .... shar9 apple. ' PHIL: Oh that:s rlght..I remember the last tlms you were with the Quiz Kids, you got sore at SchleDpe~man. ~,, JACK: That's KupDerman...Joel Ku~erman,..I had a riKht to ge' mad at him, because he use0 s~uare root to figu/~ out ~ age end I wasnIt supposed -- RT~01 023612&
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JACK: JACK: ROCHEST~: JACK: ROC~ESEER: JACK: ROCEES~ER: JACK: R 0CHESTER : K~CK: ~ 1) CHESTER:: i 0CY~STE~ : lACK: R0~=~STER: } 'CT<: -C~ESTER : ~,CK~ : :~STE-R : 'UK: 16 I~ll get it. (CLICK OF RZCErv~R) Hello. Is that you, Rochester? Rocheste~ where are you? !~m i~ Harlem. We3] why is it eve~7 time we come to New York, I l~ve Lhe ~ame trouble with you,..l didn't eve~ see you when we got off tb~ traim. I J~9~PED OFF THE TRAIN ~EN IT PASSED l]5th STREET. off~ f=~ i LI~ ~C GET A RUbbinG ~TARm Rochester, yotRve @or the keys to ~y t~, ar-d you've been gone four day~..I~ll bet you~r~ on some kh~d of a wilJ pamtF. YollI~e ~ot± Oh°. Oh no~ sir..IIM ~RE VTSITE~G ZY...G~A~OTHER. You~ what? I~ GRAh~IO~R..S}~'S EZGZ[TY-E!~{T Y~4RS OLD. Eighty-eight Fears old? Yeab~,S~TEST LITTLE OLD IADY YOU ~R SAW. ~el!! (Oh Gra~2-~ pour me a~other cup of bea~ will you please?) Now Rocheste~ -- F1T),~O'I 02361PS
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JACK: B OC~[BSTER : JACK; R 0C}mSTI~R : JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: ROCHEST~ : J&CI£: ROCHZS~ : JAC~: ROCI~ST~: JACK: RCC~ST~ : [ 0CH~ESTER : JACK: 20CIKBST~: --17- , f_ JUST A ~W2FEj BOSS. ,IPub an oliw i_u zt~ homey.) 01ire, .Rochester, v~.t did you say abou~ an olive? I GOT A COUSIN N~ED PIMENTO! Rochester, you're not tell~ me the ~ruth, And i just, happened to remember that your gz,a~ndmothe, r lives in io~ Az~{eles. OH TF~.TES ~H~ GRAh~LIJCTPP~ 0N ~0/ FA~'S STI~...~!_{IS IS THE C~Tg C~ ~ MOTHEET~ SIDE. Well what about the g~andmother you said you had im Chicago~ SH-~ J01~D THE~ "~&CS! There you are, Rochester..you got yourself all mixed up.. ~o~ ca~It have t-~fee ~a~@rothe~s. WN~T DID Y3U SAy, BOSS? • said, You caner have tb~e~ ~ra~iG~other~. A~E YOU SLURry? Of course. OKAy...(You'II b--=w to get off my lap, ho~ey, we ain't related) . I~0~¢ Rochester, yo-a;re not foolzr~3 me~ ! kr, ow you're at a party. ,And I want you to be at .¢c~ hotal 2~ ~r hour,,, Goodb.ve, BT~ BOSS, CANIT I STAY JUST A I~LF LONGER?., .IF I ~- NOW !TELL BREAK UP ALL THE FUR, Why...hew rmz~y people are there at Lhe party? ~lT~0t 02315 '1 2'6
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JACK~ ROCHEST~, J~CK: R OCI-IESTER : JACK: ROCI~STER : JACK: DCI}I ; -i0-. ;!~ 5 Twer_ty-two~.. ,Th~n how oarl Four i~vimg i~ke ~ri~ dif fsi'e.~c e ? BECAUSE TW~TY-[f~-~ ,0F ~ ~J~E GJ~II$! Twellty-or.e of ~ ez:~ are girls and you~ re the orgy ~m?.. ilow ca.~i yo,a oali ti~t a party? OH BOGS, C0fI~ 1lOW! I donlt wa~t to heaz, at_other word about it.. Goodbye. Goodbye. ,( m~cE~Ti~ oi~oi0 Wary time I Co~e to New York ttais b.~pp611a...oveDy ti~..~ 2lay, Phil. (APilAUSE ArID ~%glC Tj2 TO Fi~IISK) J~ok will be back in a minute, but first he~'e is my good frlemd~ i. A. (Speec0 Riggs. 0236 I~P
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RICGS : BELVIN: DLIJ~AR : RUYSDAEL: TICKER. RUYSDAZL: 51{~RBUTT : ('Imp. Tag DE£MAR : SIiARBUTT : JACK BE~ 6~ REV. PROGRAM #16 (SWITCHOV~ TO STUDIO FOR CLOSING CO~URCIAL) v CLOSING C0~RC IAL (CHANT - SCl~ ~L~-RICAN) l've soent thirteen years buying tobacco. The a@vantage I have over most strokers when it comes to selectir~ a cigarette is that I know tobacco so well. And at auction after auction I have seen Lucky Strike buy quality tobacco. That's why I've smoked Luckies myself for twelve years. This is what Charles Belvtn of Durham, North Carolina said. And when a tobacco expert like Mr. Belvln gives eye-~itness testimony as to who ~ys wha___t tobacco - you .know Lucky Strike means fine tobacco! Y_~e~, Lucky Strike means fine tobacce~ The famous tobacco auctioneers heard on tonight's program ~re :,!r. F. E. Boone, of Lexington, Kentucky (CHANT - SOLD ~N//~ICAN) and I~@. L A. (Speed) Riggs, of Goldshoro, North Carolina (C_£an%T - SOLD AMERICAN). Basil R~!ysdael speaking for L~cky Strike. (2 3, 2 3) LS - MFT LS_ - I~FT LS - MFT YOU bet! And how! Lucky StriKe means fine tobacco. So smoke that smoke of flne tobacco - Lucky Strike - so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. (s~rITCI{0VH~ TC HOTEL AZTOR FOR JACK B~ SIGN OFF) FJTH01 02361;'8
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JACK: FRED: JACK: FRED: JACK: ~RED: JACK: FRED: JACK: ~RED: JACK: -19- #!6 ~ed, I want to thar~k you for coming over,.It was nioe of my spcnsor to have you do the commercial. And I want to tb~ri~ you too, Jack. Tb~rk me?..A~ for? Well, your sponsor aald youTd pay me. Om. Ch..OK~ There he goes aga~%, folks, with tb~t 'iCh Oh Oh". .For twelve years now heEs been gois~ "Oh Ch Ch"., .Ycu k~cw some day h~Is goir_8 LO ~d llb ~ fo~Pth iloh/I a~d his writers will go out a~id drop doad in ~ body, lCllrffri~ . You hear that, rolks?..He said ilmun...R~at a cb~ge of pace! -Lcok Fred, instead ~f sending you a check, ITII be a gaest en your pregr~u. But Jack~ I haven't any pro~ma. Well then I'll just walk sm.o~_d with you for a half hou:' some day....Ooodnlght, folks, FIT~O~ 0236 ~ 29
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RUTHRAUFF ~ RYAN Inc. ADVERTISING RADIO DIVISION REBROADCAST: 9:30 1O:00PM~PWT CLIENT: PROGRAM: AMERICAN TO][Y{CC O CO~]~,ANY LUCIC# STRIT~ - L.S./M.F.T. T~ JACK ]~ PRQ~BAM STA: KP0~ KOMOj ~J~ KHQ~ KGW, BROADCAST: KFSD, KFi. DATE: jlqD. Y'~W.: NETWORK:JAN. 21, N~gC DEINAR : RUYBDAEL: RIY~$: RUYSDAEL: TICKER: RUYBDAEL: DEINAR: (m. B) SHA~ : RUYZDAEL: TI:~ JACK BE[[~/ FROOPA~d Quality of product is essential to continulr~ success~ (CF~%NT - SOLD i~FJLICAN) Lu~ Strike mearls fine tobacco - so r~und~ SO fl.~a, so fully Lacked, so free and easy on th~ d2aw.r (~a3, 2a]) L5 - /ViF~ L3_ - i¢~T ~-~T YOu said it.~ Yes, si~: ~_~ Strike means fide tote.eGo - so .round~ so fi~m, %Q fully packed, so free sod easy cn the draw.~ (MORE) ~T~O~ 0236180
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5~ P~. JACK B~'~I ~]~,CG~)~ ,!17 BOOI~: DE~Z R : (G=ANT - SOLD Af,~VCAN) It takes f~ne tobacco to mak~ a fh,e cigarette. And Lucky Strike mea~ fir~ to%acco! Yes~ at tobacco auctions n~w o~en ~n~epe~ent tobacco ex~ts can see t~e makers of L~ck%- ~t~i~e ~onsistently select anJ buy the fis~r, the lighter~ the naturally m!l~r Luc~ Str~e to~accc. Zo~ smok~ tha~ smoke of fine tolaacco -- Lucky St~e. ~[~011 023618~
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(FIRST ~0UTn~E ) -I- (A~I~R CG~MERCn4L, MUSZO UP AND FADES) DCN : RCCHESSER: JACK: ROCI~S%~R: JACK: ROCHZST~R: 0ACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: BOC]~/$T~R: @[Z FROM N~N ~DRK C~TY~ Tf{E FIRST STOP ON THEIR MARCH 0P DZ~ES TOUR, WE BRLNC~ YOU TI~ LUCKY 8TRIEE PROGRN~ .. STA~I]~G JACK ~h~Y, ~IT~ MARY LIVINGSTONE~ PHIL H~,~_']!S, RCC.~STER~ IARRY STEVENS AND '~/OURS TRULY" DON WII$~. (APPiAUSE - N~SIC UP AND FADES OUT) AND N(%% iAD~S A/~[D G~TL~, '¢£E TAKE YOU TO JACK B~q~Y'S ROOM AT T]~ S;~ERRY ~E~RIA~ HOTEL..JACK IS WAITING FOR TJ~ G~ND TC SHOW UP AS THEYI~ ALL GOING ICE SEAT]I~} IN C',£~ITRAL PARK. (~USIC T~ANSITION - "SIDL~IALKS OF I~%~ Y0~'I) (SI~GS) EAST SI~E, W~ST SIU2 ALL AROL~FD T~ T~~ YOU~LL BE ABIE TO SEE IT WH2~ T~ SN~'! IS OFF THE GROIneD. Rochester -- HAIL ~h~ SN(%~ TOGET~{dR ICE ALL 0VZR T:{~ WALK~ YOU SLIP AND yOU SLOP AND YOU FLIP AND YOU FLUP ON T}~ SID~'~AL~ 0F ~Vm~ yORK. Rochester, stop singinz..Yoa know l~m goin~ ice sk~ti~c=~ so ~-cu better ~et my Zhings ready. Ckmy. Dy zhe way, did ye~ [~ve my ice si~tes sharpene,~. llke I told yo~ to? I sd~e did~ boss...I had it done yeetePdmy when I vJas up i~ i~rlem. Good...Ape they nice and sharp? ~_~..WHAT DO YOU T~INK I ~A~4L~D yOU WITH THIS MOP, lING ? RTHO1 0236182
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JACK: R£CffESCER : JACK : ROC~SfER : JACK: ROCI~STER : JACK: ROCI~STER: JACK: ROC~ESgER: JACK: RCCI~STER: JACK: ROCI~STER: -2 - ,'I 7 Rochester, stop helmZ so sllly an£ get my thim3s ready. As !on~ as Z~m getr_~ sl~tins, I want you to ~et cat m2 k~icke-,s and press t~e,i. Boss, you bette~ wear ~ r~-ts, yet~ dorz~t look goe~ in k~iokers°.yo~ le~s &re too s~tp-p_y. My logs are ~p~ s~mo.y. Thcs" 8in't? RemerCoe~~ t~hat time yoa Dlayed F~mlet a:_:: ~d tc "~,ear those tights ? Vkzat a'cout it? TfUq ~TRE VANAGER TCOK CNE LOCK AT yOU AND SAYI].. , "IF T~CSE ~LEGS 1~,~ AI~/MUSCLES T!~EY ,~UST bE _~o~ 3)HE BCNT~,. " YOU ]{~Q TO ~%-2 K]¢OTS ~ YOUR ~LsGS TO YAYZ~ IT LOOK LIKE YCU FAD ~,~S ! I don~t ca~e., v'm goio~ to Wee.i' my i~tickers.. Now ~e~ t[%e~Y, o~t ~-c~d press le[~. But boss, you kr~c~ they have vale~ service in this hotel, ~oI'~s you? I kac~ I know...B~t what do yoga bmink I~vo got o~ for? Well,. listed alphabetically° °A~TE~'II&NT, ACTOR, AUTO bZ~CI~NIC ~ ~ARI~R -- RT',401 0236183
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JACK : ROCHES I~R : JACK: ROC~LSTER : JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: ROC~S~R : JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: JACK: RCC~STER: JACK: JACK: -}- ;~17 Look -- BARTEZ{HER, B[~L£~ 3CD~ GUARD, ~Lk~Op, BUS BOY -- l~ck, Rochester -- COCK, CHALTVEL~± CC[~rANICN, CHAR W~IAN, C~/~RMAID -- Rochester. thetis enough. GCTMORE BtTtEAUS ~qAN THE FEDERA~ GOVER~NT~ Rochestem, sto~ with ~hat talk and stert Dressing my h~Ickers. Ok~yo..(Dool~an, dish washer, duster, dog walker --) Oh Rochester, stop co~plainlng, you denlt ~e so much. All I know iS.,A/[YT~[@ St~B~Dy ASK$YZ ~0 SHAKE NOW yOU k~C~ L~DIS not true...Anyway, iIve aorta get -- (D00R B~qZ~R) Rochester, put dc~_ ~ae iron, the Whisk bDoo~1 ~ the shoe brush and answer the door. ~het? Oh never miad~ ~¢ press ~e door..[ mea~ the k~ioke~s.. And it's going to be pretty cold in the park, so go% out my !ong under.ear. (DOOR BUZZER ~AE{) C~ME ~. (DOOR OPENS) F~T~O'~ 0236 184.
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~AC K [&~RY: JACK: :~ARY : JACK: MARY : IACK: . ~ARY : JACK : JACK: MARY: JACK: MARY : JACK: r . JACK: MARY : #17 WELL . .~LL0 ~ARY,. }ELL0 JACK. Gee I~'ary~ Y:m g~aJ. you're over your cold.. Are you ~ure it's all r,i~ht for yo~ to be out today? Yes, Jack~ the doctor told ~.e I wa~ colapietely well. Good, Them he kissc:d me zocdbye a~d said i~Ii see you tomorrow. The ~octor kissed you ~oodbye] Wasm~t that awful? It certaimly was..flue doctor..Whet he kissed you, why dtrl.L~t yo~ SI&O %Is face? 7~ could I..I was ~_oldic~g his b~ for him. C"~, I ~et t~, .You ~ited him to kiss you. ca~c~ on fast, C~anlt you, Jackgom? ffmm, Jackson_ye' ~. .',Isll look, Hary, you dou:t b~ve tc ~,~]<'e ~.y o~tsiJ.@ ~ates. Jfhila We~z,e iu Kew York --l~m ~oo t.o~ to ta~e' you aroumd. C,h s~re, jusb liks last yea~. E~fore we left Ca!ifcr~ia yo~ sai~, '~lary, when we get to Kevl York, I~m really going to ~how No'/ the town.'~ Yeah~ from the top of tde Empire State Bul]dt~g. Well, they ~;on~fi let yo~ up tb_ere for nothlm~ s£s~r ..-% R1"~01 0236185
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JACK: JACK: ~I~Y: JACK: R0C I~ST~KR : JACK: RCC ['EST-~ R : JACK: i~ARy : ROCI~3ST~R : JACK: -5- :/17 What are you lau~hln~ at? Wher~ vie P;ot to the too~ yott lool~d over the e~%e, sa~ a ~_ickel oIJ the ~tdewa~¢ alzd waabed to j~m~. I did Lot want to j~T~..An~,ayj I ~as just brassie:% ~bout my e~esizht..!L~s prettZ ~ood whe~ yo~ can see mlckei from th~ top oP the Emplr~ Sba~e B~ildir~. Some eye~izht~.whe¢~ ~ou Sot d~,E ~o the streeb~ ~'OL~ fouE@, out it was a ms.nhole cove~,. Yeah. ,I ~is~ f ~ou!~ fled trmt wise ~uy that rmlnted a b~ff'alo o~ it. A~ay, ~[~is time, ~,r~, ~ou &ud i will reall~ ,;o plmces. SlaY, SCSS,.0h helle, ~4iss i,ivln~stoue, it's goe~ tc see you. up a[~d a~eu.:~ again. Tba~ you~ l~m fe~!i:~ fLEe ~ow. Whab d=d you wa!_t, Rochester? Zour sLi~'ts just ca"-~e back f~cn tme lauad~y. Yy shirts? Good. SaT, that's v¢or~derfui ~lervloe,.~,~heu d~d you se~d ~em OUt7 0o-~ fez' heaven's sake..ar~l I thouga~ they were lost. Roc'aeste~ a~'e t.=ese ths shil~t~ We seI~t out im 193~~ C 0 ~L!ARS ! Oh, thcse.,.~ell pL<t ~em a~{ay~ i~ll give ~em to my w~iters for Christ~s..,Sa7 Rocheste~ Rocheste~ ~::[ is my breatcCast coming ~p? Did yo~ order it f~'c,n ~00m Se~ViC8 ? R T~40 ~ 0236186
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ROC~STER JACK: JACK: MARY: JACK: ~t4/T/: JACK: i,I~i9 Z : JACK: -TACK: JACL: ,TACK: POE~ORE: JACK: ~L MARY: ~: #17 Vest, a lomg t~me ago. De you want something tc eat, Ma~,y, befoz,e we go skmting? No thank~..Say Jack, [ canlt get over you livi[:g at such a classy hotel as the Sherry NetherlaEd. r ~ell eve ~ other time you came bc Ne'~ York you stayed at tbe...at the -- The AGile Plaza, Oh yes,..what & c~reepy joint tllat ~as. Well I~!i admit it wast_It the best hotel in New Ycrk~ ~y but it certmimly was ccm~e~--~er_t±y located. You're ~clt klddlmg., .All you Y~d to do was walk up one flight cf steps ~nd you were in the subway. OhHary~ ib ",~sm~t that f~ dowa..Avb~t g~,ve you bi~t 9 ±des. ht ~t~.e end of tb~" iobb~ they :~re miming cc~l, Th~g were Itct. ~ ~EY DID ALE YP~ t~LL BOYS Y~VE ~MPS ~C TZ~IR~ ' ~ '~l letls d~op it. VIII! you? COME ~'. (DOOR O~S) Your breaP~'ast~ ~m. Ber~r~v, (~L~ oF nzs~s) Oh good; good...Fur it right ove~ here on the Zable .... Sure yo~ dom~t Want amytb~g~ 14ary? No thanks. P,T NO I 02361BP
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JACK: POL~4ORE: JACK : BOCHESTER: JACK: ROCSZ~STER: JACK: ROCHFSTER : JACK: POKf,,ORE JACK: P0~40Yd3: JACK: JACX: PO~4ORE: JACK: P01~ORE: -7- #r~ (Tm~r Be~ SET ON ~LE) Gee, Itm hungry. There you are, s~m..,and here's the check. 0h...Hand me my glasses, RocLlester. Fei"~e you a,_~e, Thar/<s.,.l want to see if they have these prices rigat. YOU WA~ N~ TO CAll[ YOLTR ACC0tUTTANT~ BOSS? No~ I can ~nd]e this n%yself...Now let's aee...V~T?... N~[ETY_ FIVE_, O~S ?,, ~V~, THAT ' S OI~RAGECITS. YOU W6_~'2 ~ TO CALLyOUR IA¥~]~R, BOSS? NOT YET...flow in the world could this be nir_~ty-five ce~_ts? Let's see...Twenty cents for orange j~ice,.. IsrPt tb~t awfully high? Well you see, sir, ~,~e don~t grow oranges here~ they're sb~g~ed it_ from California. So ~hat? Postags straps ~re ths s~e p~'ico la Califorr~a a~i ~ come f~om Vtashing~o~t. i~m just the waiter~ .~b. Benr@~ I don~t b~ve arjt~ir_g to do with t~ pm~ices. A~d lock at tb~is..Twc eggs, forty cents...~y do yru z~ealize that's twe~_ty cents s,m egg? YeS si~. Yweuty cents ~or one little egg...'~Ii-=mt's it. en egg t~ could make it worth twenty ce~ts? Well~ itls a W~le day's wo-~k fcr a ~n, sir. Te~ cents for coffee...~lell, thatls all right~. ~-~¢~, , Hey what's that extra quarter for? That's a twenty-f lye cent ob~zrge fo~ serving meals in the rooms sir. RTNOI 0236188
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JACK: P OLN 0 RE: JACK: POD~0RE: JACK: PO~,~CSE: JACK: JACK: ZARY: JACK: ROCP~ZTER: JACK: ROCHZSTER: JACK: JACK: ~ lARRY: -8- #17 0H...WELL OP~N THE DOOR, -TiL ~AT If' 0DT I~ T~E HAL~. That wor-lt helD, sLr...But if yo~ domtt v~.r~t the broakfaat l~ii tak~ it ~ck. No~,.Nu ! guess iL isnlt your fault...h~Tmm~ nAroty-flve cents.oHere, waiter, hero~s ~. dolla~...You c~.m keep the ohS,r~e, ~ere o Oh tba~/< you sir. ~ .Ncw I can hLy that farm in Connect J ~ut. Look, just go~ will you? (Doom s~s) rJaryj are you sure Fou dorPt war=t anyShi:~g?.° .if you do I can call t~ waiter ~sck. Neve~ mim~. I wou!dr-~t go tbmou~< that again for eight_ million dollars. Yeah...~Vell I :nm~bt as we ~ eat • You %ett~r hurry UD, Jack~ the 6sn6~ll he here p~etby 80OZL. H~n, there's somehc~r at the se~-v~ce enzrat~ce..0P_... RCC~STER, ~UZT A ~lI~7~fZ, ~CSS..1%~ IRONING yOUR LONG B~ -TIE~-I~.~I~%B~, ~VELL 0~ ~ BACK DOOR. I CAN'T YOU'VE GOT IT SE%~D UP FCR THE WI~E~.~ THAT'S NOT THE 0N~E I I ~Ef~.,.0h well~ never mind. o.CC#/~ IN. (DOOR O~,~S ) Oh hello~ L~r~y. ~iio, Mr. Benny. (APPIAU~) NFN01 0236189
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L~ : [YAF~: IAHRY : JACK: ~RRY: -9- ~!17 Hello ?~Iss T~vingsto~ij lha ~l~d you're over yo~r~ cold. Th~.~ you~ l~r~y. Ap~ by the way, I wa~t tc tb~rf~ you fo~ dedicating tb~t so~g to me last week...i% was sweet of you. I was glad to do it, ~iss !AvingStone...Wo~ald you like to hear the one l~m going to sir~ next Slu~day? Yeah~ sing it to ,~s~ larry~ wb~le I fir~Ish my breakfast. Okay. (APpmUSE) (SZGD~ INT0 IART~TS ~&~ER "STraNGE ~JTCSEC") F~T,~01 0236190
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st JACK: YARY: JACK: LARRY: JACK: ~Rv: JAQK: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: Jt - lo- ;,:17 (SECOb7) ROUTI~ ) Ah that was swell, swell kid...very good. Say larry, I meentto tell you...You were wondePfu! on the March of Dimes show we dis at Carnegie Hall last nigiut.. Yes, Larry, you were really good..And donZt forget, on Tuesday our March of Dimes show will be at the Academy of Music in Philadelphia..and the following ~1onday at the Symphony Hall in Boston..so kid if you haven't seen all the sights in New York Vou better do it in the next few days. Oh II%~ been arour,3 quite a blt~ ~,Ir. Benny...I went to Rockefeller Center, the Statue of Liberty, and yesterday I went to Grantls Tomb. Grant's TOmb, eh?..C~e, that's funr~v..l remember the first time _I came to ~'Tew York you know i went to Grant's Tomb too. Yeah but Grant wasn't in it yet, Grant wasn't in it yet -- Grant wasn'~ in it yet. Very funr~, very furm@-..Look ~4ary, the minute you cone back on the program you start right in with -- (KNOCK ON DOOR) C0~ IN. (m0n OPENS) HI YA, JACKSON. }IEi~, PHIL. (APP~USE) Say Jackson, now that I~m here weld better gmab cur skates and..WEIL N~RY, YOU pRETTY BABY..HOW ARE YOUR EYES, EARS, NOSE AND ~GAT? RTH01 0236191
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~'HRY: JACK : PHIL : JACK };A RY : JACK: JACK: JACK: ILN: PCN: JACK: DON: J/,CK: ~HIL: ,:,JACK: -ll- #17 Oh I'm fine~ YES SIR, Sg~S FIT AS A FIDDLE AND I'M HER B~AU..NA PA ]~A HA..OH JACKSCN, YOU BLUE-~YED BUFFOON..YOUIRE HOT AS A FIRECRACF~R A],~ YOU STARTED IN AS A PU}CK ...... Hey Phil, I certair.ly stole that one from you, Jidn't I? You stole it from. soc, ebody, I ~ow you didn't ad lib it. Donrt worry about me, brother, I can think ppetty fast. Oh sure..you rode ao and do%~1 in the elevator all day because you couldn~ tad lib the floor you wanted to get off at. It wasn:t that at all..It was just a nice day ar_d I thou~it I'd enjoy the ride thatEs all.., (D;CCK ON DOOR) CO[~ IN. ( DOOR • P =~,~ ) HELLO, DCN, HI~ YA F~IIAS~ 7ZLL0 MARy, 3lAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. (A}PLAUSE AND GANG GRITS DON) Well, kids, l've got my skates with me, are we ill set? Pretty, soon, Don..i:ve gotta get into some warm clothes. You better, it's cretty cold out. Say Phil, did you tak~ my advice an~ see the new Frantic l~ay show? Frark_ Fay, Frank .ay.. there he goes again wiZh taa< Frank Fay. Yeah, I saw it last night, Don, but first I went to +he Stork Club and had about five cocktails..then ~ ":'n ['' E1 Morocco and had about ten cocktails...then ! v~ent to the Twenty-0ne Club and mmtohed tha_~t number. Oh..Then you went to the Frank Fay show. ATM01 0236192
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PKIL: IABR¥ : MARv : tARRY : MARRY : PHIl: JACK: PHIL: JACK: ~IL: JACK: niL: JACK: milL: JACK: Z{iL: JACK: GANG AD LIBS: ~4ARy: ~' JACK: -12- ply Ye&h, it's called K~rJey. Harvey?...Am I old enough to see it? Why Certaz~ly, Larl:~,..ihatls the r~w s'-'iov~ in which F~a~J Fay glays the part of a fellow who~s alt~ays a ±truce dl, unk, ar±d he imagines he keeps se81/ig a white rabbit six feet tall. He ~ it? Yes. K~Y, WAIT A MZ<UU~E, WAIT A }:I~%-'IE..SO~THINC~S Z~ONG! ~lq~t~ B wrong? I SA}'__! TK~U RABBIT. Phi!, Phil, that's an Imagi~r-g rabbit, ard nobody c£n see it. ~J~IAT A~ YOU TA~Nr ANOUT,..]~ CAD~ OFF THE~=~,~v SAT DO%~ BESIDE ~,.~ A~ A~}~ED ~ ~IAT I LiKeD ABCUT ?HE ~£,U~-r. Ph m@- geoCness[ TF~K TILE rABBIT GOT I,'AD AR~O WALT~D A?~Y, Well, T doD~t <~am~ hlm..He wa~ probably jealotts because Four eyes were pirker than his. I~V!T~ S ~nXACTLY WK~T }!APPE~NE© Exactly what happened...Phil, we Rze been trying to exDlair~ to you That ~--n that plaF there is no ~' %bit. I DU!~C, !KEY;_~ TA~., iN PIiZhq~/ OF L~TTUCK .,~ F:~ ~C~ OFFICE..HA HA HA..CH ~%RRTS -- Oh shut u~...Now if ~,~e're goiDg skating, let's cet started. Yeah, letls ~o.,Letls get going. Oh gosh-- ~at~s the matter, ~ar~? F~TH01 0236193
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J,~CK: ]~CK: MARY: JACK: [v[b~IEL: JACK: P,~JRIEL: JACK: r~IEL: ~TAC~: ~gtrRIEL: JACK: }~ORII~L: JACK: ~Cb~IE£: JACK: JACK: ~r JACK:
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(5TBEET NOISES AND CAB EADING IN) MARy: I~LE COR~S ANOTHER CAB, JACK. (TIO[I ~OmOR UP) JACK: ~AXI...TAXI (CAR C~ES RIGHT BY) JACK: Gee, it's tough to get a cab ill New York. (ANOTI :R AXI JACK: TAXI... ~AXI { JACK: E~mm.. tb-at~s foum~gen that passed "as already,, iGcsh~ ~ould tb~r~{ theyld he g]a,d to pick ul] fames from a swarak-j hotel l~ke the Sherry Netherlan~ PHIL: Hey Jackson~ herc comes anothel~ one. (TAXI ~IOTOH FA~S IN) DON: Yeah. It: s pullls:g up here! (CAB PULLS Ul; A}ID S"OPS, .DOOR O~S) JACK: D~.iver, take us to - BAC~JS: l~m sorrj~ bud, dis cab ain't for hire. ITm through for tL~u d~. JACK: Well~ wh~ did you pull iJp in front ~f this hotel? NACKUS: I ilve here! (Z~ DOOR STA~ /~ND CAB~ DJi%~ 0F~) JACK: Well how do you like t~t, he drove ~ight into the lobby: [~/KRY: JACY~ LOOK[ (NOISE OF ~CP, GOING UP .AND I]C0~I FAST] JACK: Well it serves ham ri@ht~ he got stuck in th~ revolve[ doo~, We~ll never get a cab stand3.ng here,..it's onl ~'; ~%hout e~ght blocks to the l~ke, let's we~lk. ~YHOI 0236195
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JACK~ EI~ : JACK: MARy: EI~ : PHIL EI~ : DON : E LV~R : PHIL: JACK: ,VARY: ELV~R : -15- #17 (CRUNCH OF FCOTS~EPS CN SNOW, THEN ON CUE) (MOTOR FADING IN) LOOK OUT, KIDS, THIg TAXI'LL SPLASH US. (CAR PUILS UP AND STOPS) %~YHAT'S THE ~ATTER, POP, YOU TOO CHFAP TC TAKE A CA~~ Hr~nm. NO, driver~ we' ve been waiting for one -- All rlght hop ~-n. (CAR DOCR OPE¢~S, SHb~'LE OF PEOPLE GETTING IN) Come on~ fellows. Let's all get in here. ~ake us to the Central Fark Lake. (DOOR SIAMS, CAR STARTS OFF; TPH~ FADES) Okay. Strangers here in town? Well, )ou might -- I been living here all m) life,..never been further away from I~%n~,ttan tb~,- you can go with the I,R.T. Where ya from? Well, the whole bu~.ch of us -- Ain't no place llke New York City, and that includes Biookl~. an~ of n ever been to BrooklLm? Well, IIve -- Don~ 5 ie~ anybod[ ~-~d ~,a~ hurl, ,~ro kl~n~s a swell ~u:.p, . And Just because he pulled them. cracks about Brookl~m, I ain't never got/ha read another one of Moey Coward's books, .Lock I don't llke it when dese wise guy wrlters and radio comics insult Brookl~-n...Ya lissen to d~ radlc much? Well, we're all sort of... Now you take last Sunday on da Jack Benny program..Dey had an ~-nsultln' crack about Brooklyn, and gee, was I 51ad when Fred Allen [~ropped in later and he give Ben~ the works. ~T~01 0236196
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'" JACK: EI]~ : JACK: EI~ : dACK: J,aCK: E~KR : iVK: EIA~KR : J>~K: JACK: ~',~ JACK: -15- /IT Zow~ look~ dplver. Ya see~ Bem~yEs sponsor ser~t Fred Allen over to read the Commercial..Ar~i Allen was a 8crear~ when he saAd.,. (I[~ITKI~S AI~EN), ,LADIES AND CE~L~EN..LUCKY 5~}{!:C ~b~S FII~ TOBACCO...~SS3 LUC_~ STRIKE Iv~J']S FI~ TOBACCO..SO ROUND, SO F]]%~, SO -~VJLLY PAC~. Fmm~a. (AS ALLEN) BL~ L~LIT~ JACK BENCh'S WA~T, LUC~ S~RII4ES ARE _~F~ AI~D EASy ON ~DP~W..., (S~R, AIGET).,. l~,~s,t a laugh he got with that! LOOk, cL~iver -- Then Berz~y rum, ms to Allen and SayS..(IMITATES JACK).. Now look, Fred, do ycu mean by just doing those ccrrmerc~als you v-ap~ge to eke out & living? Well tPen Allen says.. (AS A~[)..Well. if it doesn't make you ~oo unhappy, pe~.. (S~RAI~I~) . ~ And then &ll ~e~my was able to say was...?~nn~a! Ws, ita m~mlte, &river. Why is it you. do such a fuu~-y imitation of Allen, ar_d such a b~,d imitation cf ~erJ~y? Look, Bud~ doi~ blszze me It ~i~'t m7 fault ~f Be~rL- st ir~s ! NO~' 1iste~, Ol'iV~2 -- (B_=~Z APPLIED A~\D CAR BTOPS) Here we are, Central Park Lake..t:]at~s sixty cents.. (CAR DOCR 0FENS. PEOBIE dETT~{@ OUT) l~e~e~s your sixty cents~ driver -- (ZE%~I, C0i]~5 LROPPLWG I~0 ii<ND) • And he~e~s your tip (ONE COIN IS ]IROPPED) There. R]'HO'I 0236192
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JACK~ E~ : JACK: JACK: .TACK: MARqC: JACK: JACK: MARY: JACK: MARY: JACK: °I~L: X,CK; PKIL: ,'OK: PHIL: b~ARY: , ~OK. -17~ !!17 You ,~ra~a k~o~.~ sometl~g, Bud? YOU I)2 A PHETT~£ GCOD I~iTATEOK OF JACK BI~YYGUI~.~iF."~- ' -~ever ~a!~2~3 d!'Ivor. You Oaz~ go. uk~j o~y, S0 ioP4. (APRIAUSE..CAB DRIVES OFF) Well, kids, here we ~,e at the lake.. Lot~s go skat~g.. (SING SONG) IAST ONE ON THE ICE IS A ROTT~ EOG! (HU~KING F00TS~Z 'I~iROUGH SNOW) SZ~ ~_ERS HA, HA~ I'M THE FLRST..I~O0K AT ~ GO[ (H0~: '~ ' ~ l~ DA ~% ~ -- ffAOK~ DA DA 1!% liar% -- JACI{, JACK-- DA DA !~ i1% rA~, 3A DA DA D~& -- JACKj JACK! CO}~ BACK ~S, YOU FORGOT YOL~ S~%TES[ Oh, oh C,K..! thought I had ~em o~. ]~'Y~ WAlT A MI~F~Y~, F]~OWS...I W~tNA SEE S0~THD~G, (S~r~qL HOLLO~I ~q0CKE{G SOUNYA% C,N ICE) Phil, w~t are you lgoockL~ on the ice fm~'! Sbi~,.Qui~t, Saokson..l~m iookir:' for Slake. Oh. Key kids, look ah '~ilso~ skating c, rotund Lhere =~s tbough he o~ed C~r~ral Park. Yeah.. Widths ~±e so stuck up abou,b'! le just four:d cub that lard is back on th~ ~at-or ]=s~. Yeah, FI"fHO'I 0236198
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~ DON : JACK: DON : JACK: JACK: ~AEY: JACK: 07,CK: JACK: i, ',~ Ry : JACK: Tt~ T$" * h& q~Y: JACK: IARRY : " ;' JACK: #17 (OFF) H~L KIDS, YOU WANT TO SEE S0~ FANCY BEATING? OH, ANYBODy CAN CUT A FIGURE EI~T. (OFF) I K],~0W2 ~JT 'I;ATCH ~"HIS. (SCRAPING OF SKATE~5 ON ICE IN BTACCAT0 EHYT~ FOR SEVERAL SECONd5...T}~N GTOPS ) WELL, I~LL ~ DA~...~N~T...Don, that was wonderful. But w~t a minute...I've ~ot n~ s~te8 on, 8o Watch me...IT11 show you kids some ~eal skating...~RE I C~.i (FOUR STROEES OF SKATES, THEN FALTS) Phil, help me pick him up. That was ~n accident, I'll ~how you how to skate... Watch me now. (FOUR STROKES, -~ FALL5 DOWN) Hm...Never rain4: Phil, I can get up myself..(GRUNTS) (TWO STOKES A),D FA~LS) ?am~...Oh well... Are you co14, Jack? No, Rochester sewed it up foe the winter .... Gosh, I can't understa~ it, I used to be the best skater in Waukegan...Well, I'ii t~y {t again. (EI~ STROEES OF S~ATES) Theme' Now I've got it...Wheee~ (TWO STROKES AND FALLS DOWN ) M~. ~nny, when you tpipped, you~ hat fell off jour hea d....Here. Thank you. And youP fur piece fell off too. That's not a fur piece .... Now give it to me. ~THOI 0236199
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DON: PHIL: ~HY: JASK: YABY: JACK: Y6.HY: JACK: PHIL: JACK: JACK: JASK: PKIIrL : £\CK: %0K: JACK: #@i HEY KIDS...KIDS..LOOK, TH~,, S A FELLOW 0VFR THERE GIVING AN FA~IBITION...H~E'S Z~IPING CVER ~EVEN B~RESL$. THERE !~ G0~ ! (H[!NNI~G ON sKATES, ~LI~E ~T.dISTLEj IA}~9S 01~ SKATES (G~2{G APPIAOTDS AND YELLS ~L--nBAY F, TC) ~y~ thab ~a~ ~sal±~ terrific. Yeah~ he's womder9~!. What's so greab about t~? W~t? Watch r.~, I car~ jump over those L~rrels~ JACK, JACK~ DON'T ~T A FOOL. WATCH T-HIS, SISTER. YOU ~TER NOT TRY IT_, J&Ci~ON. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ~...I WA3 JUST KIDDTN~ YOU GUTS, YAKING BELIEVE I CANIT SYATE.. *WATCH THIS,~ JACK, TI~-~SE.~ H~KE Y Ca), RIp'IT C~ THOSE ~ARREY~. ~UNNING ON S~TES, SLIDE I~HISTLE, TP~ I~F~IFIC CI~ZII AND HOL~.~$@ OF ~i~ ) Oocooooooooo ! ~, '~iRE IS I~? .... JACKIS DISAPPF~AP~D. I DON IT ~&V, HE~S NOT C~%~R itFI~E. ~ : S NOT ERR~ EIET~R. ~, KIDS, LOOK, ~IS IN ~ S~RREL ~ARY, STOP P~G AT ~ TI~ROUGH THAT Bb~O HOLE: ~ARY. L~ ME, OUT.~ tgTM01 023620O
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~. PHIL I MARY LAPJ~Y DCN JACK: GANG: JACK: -20- (SINGS) ROLL CUT THE ~ARREL ~£E'LL HAVE A PARRED OF FUN. (SINGING) IIY. GETTING DIZZY. (SINGS) ROLL OfT THE 5~REEL WE'VE GOT THE BLUES ON THE RUN. NOW CUT IT O?f KIDS, CHT IT OLd: (AppIAUSE AKD pLAY-0FF ~7S10 ) #17 ATH01 0236201
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• JAO • DO~ : -21- (C~'~ PUJC) #r,~" l~Jies and gB~tlemen to tb~ m~lllons of Amsriaan Servzcc ~F~ aged ~cmen ove~s@as3 ~_othlng is V~I'~e It~p~rtant tha~ a letter from home. A !ettez, from a loved one car. mean t~e difference between a man Who krlo~'s why heZs fighting a~ & 1~arl who knows o~ly bitterness a~d indifference. DOnTt ,~nfite worrisome things such as nbaby'l has the r~mun'.psr' .... or UTbe larkdlord wonlt do anything about the plur~bing, : Write him ~bout tb~ home town~ f~ie~is~ sports and the fun you b~d - and above all, donlt Wait Itll r.ews ~oc-/mulates. And here~s ~2%other imports~z thing - ~hen you ~-~ite, al~ays use V-~I, Our pl~qes and ships are bard pressed Cot spats and n~ch more V-}~il can he carried than re&~s,r bulky letters. V-~al! is Inex~ensive~ too -- It flies overseas for only three ~nts, q) ~membcr~ ,Co~ks, write hiL< cheerful, fresh ne~s regularly, but he sure to sem~] lh ~V-}fzil~ Also donlt forAet tb~ ~rch of Dires, weIll he with you in Tbilad~]phla and ~os~or_. Thar£< ~o~. Jack ~ill ice b~ck in a rnin'dte, bu~ firs~ here is my good frlel~d, F. E. ~or~e. ~T~01 0236202
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SI%A~BUTT : DEI}~gkR : RUYSDAEL: TIC ~728 : RUYSDAEL : JACK BF~NY 5~{ REV, PROGP~AMTrulY- 4 (S['IITCHOIrFR TO S~.~10 FOR CLOSING C0~CTAIJ) V CLCSINC- CC~9£ERC IAL (CHANT r SOLD ~v~R!CAN) Lucky Str~e means fine tobacco. Because Lucky Strike cor.sistently selects and b~ys the finer, tho lighter, the naturally milder Lucky Strike tobacco! This fir~e Lucky Str~ke tobacco mea~a ~eal, deep-dc~:- smoki~ e~jo~ae~-t for you. So smokc thmt smoke of fi~e tobacco - Lucky Strike - ~o round~ so fi~m, so fully ~acked, so free a~d easy [~n the d~law. The famous tcbacco a~ctione~r~ heal.d on tonight T s Drogram were Y~. L. A, (S~eed) Riggs, of Goldsboro, ~m North ~_rolira (C]~2~T - SOLD .~IC~) ac_d ~b. F. ~!~. Boone, of -_exing~on, Kentucky (CHA~ - SC~LD A~RICA~). Basil Ruysdael spe~_~ing fo~ L~'cky Strike. (2&3, ~&3) LS ~I[~T 'A fact i~_o~n the ;vcrid over! - ~ Str~ke ~ee~ fire to a~, so rou~_~, ~o firm, so f~ly packed, sc free ard easy on the draw, (SWITCKC~ TO LOCATICN OF JACK BLN-~ SIGN OFF) FiT',~O'I 0236203
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JACK: -22- #t7 Well, this closes &nother program, and we'll be with you a~ain next Sunday night broadcssting for the Ar~ny Air Force at ~itchell Field. Good night, everybody. ATH01 0236204
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RUTHRAUFF ~ RYAN I,m ADVERTISING RADIO DIVISION ~EBROADCAST: 9:30-IO:OOPM, PWT STA: KPO, KOMO, ~J K~Q, KGW, ~L~ SD, KFI. A~RICAN TOBACCO CO~42A~f BROADCAST~RD ~T~/. i/11~ LUCKY STRI~ - L.S.~I.F.T. DATE: JAN. 28, 1945 THE JACK BENNY FR~G~,] NETWORK: ~[5C CLIENT: PROGRAM: RUYSDAEL; BOONE : RL~SD~EL: TICKER : RUYSDAEL: D£~NAR: (~. J) ~I~SDABL: ~r~ARBUTT: DEIb~%R ; THE JACK BENNY ?RCO~F4~ Quality of product is essential to continuing success. (C~ANT - SOLO Ar,~IOAN) LuCkym Str~ke meads fine tobacco -- so round, so firm, so fully ~gcke~, so free and @asy on the draw~ (2,:: % 2 ~: 3) LS - I~TT IS - [v~T LS - I,~T ~hy sure! Yes, sir[ You sai~ it~ Lucl~ Strike mear~ fine tobacco -- so round, so fi~m, so fully oackeO; so free an4 @asy on the draw! RTH01 0236205
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4TH Tt%~. PRCGRAM #I~ SHARBIZ2T : R IC-GS : DEL~AR : Quality of product is essentJ~l to comtt~ulng success. Quality in a cigarette must mean the quality cf the tobacco mtself. And - Lucky Strike means T~ne tobacco! Yes~ first, last ar~ always, T~ck7 Strike m~a~ fine tobacco -- d~e fir_er~ the llghter, the n~turai!y m~Id~r Lucky Strike tobacco. (C}IA~ - so~ ~,~IC~ Fo~ your o-~ re~!~ deep ~OWV £~]c, kiu~ eu±jo~e~t 91!ok@ that smoke of fine tcb~cco - i.uc~y Strike! (SWITCHCI~ TO i~CATIOH OF JAC~ BF2&NY SHOI~!) ~TH01 0236206
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D ON DON: gAOK: DON: ~CK: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: (APTEE CC~CL~L, MUSIC UP %ND F.~DE$) FR@4 MITC}~L F]-~, HEADQUARTERS OF THE FIRST AIR FORCE, T~ LUCKY STRIKE PROG~IM..STARRING JACK E~NY... WITH ~RY L~CINGSTONE, PHIL ~RRIS, ROCHESTER, lARRY S~NS 4JND '~0URS TRULy" DON UY~0N. (~P~USE, ~SIC UP ~ND FAIES 0~T) IADTAS AND ~N~N,..iN ~XF~Y GROUP, _~ ~/ERy CRQID, Y~ ~Y SHAY, IN EVERY BARRACESo~TH~REIS ~I~VA~ ONE OUTSTAND~G PERS O~ALITY. Yes indeedy' SO IT IZ NO SURPRISE ~T OUR LITHE (~0UP 0F TNE~PIA~S H~S ONE OF ITS @TN.,~ND HER]~ ZE IS...~. ~&GER ~I~R Thank you, tb~nk you...Hello a~in, thi~ is J~ck E~nriy t~Ikln$...And Don~ I must sa~ l~m very pl~s@d ~Ith t~t introduction you gave me. Oh are you, Jack? Yes sir, aud I'm golug to stay pleased until I f~id out what an Ea~-~ B~ver is ..... I r~member once you c~lled me a sad sack ~nd for six months I ~ent ~ound bragging ~bout It...l even had it engraved on rag- cards ......... Sad Sack Benny....A fine th~ng to sail me. Well Jack, how did you find out wP~t it meant? Well one d~y I tried to be socf~ble, so I ~alked up tc a top sergeant and said "Hi ya, s~,d saok".oAnd between sa_dd and sac___kk I was fiat on my back.~..,An~v~ay Don, welve been away from C~lifo~nla about a month n~,~..Hcv~ are you ezJayh~g the t~1~ so far~ R]NOI 0236207
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DON : JACK: DON: J~CK: M~RY: JACK: MARRY: JACK: NARY: JACK: ~ARK: JACK: JACK: Z~RY: -2- //-18 Oh Tt's swell, Jack...especg~lly when we %{ent ice sl~tlng last week ~n Cent~,l I~rk... (IAUG}!S)..Ycu looked so funr~y the way you kept fallLug down all the throe and I bad to keep helping you up. All right, all rlg&t, so i fell down once or twice. Once or twine.~..I plck~d you ap so n~nytlmes I felt like You should t~lk, Wilson...When you fell down you looked like a B-29 landir~g with its wheels up..then you.. ,~uen you broke through the ice, fell into the L~ke, and it ~v~s high tide clear out to Sandy Kook'....So don't tell me tb~t I...0H 9~0j ~ARY. I~ELL0 JACK; HI %[~ FNLL~I~3. (APPL%TmE) Well ~ry~ i~m glad you got here early, be~i1se these boys expect me to put on ~ good shcv~ fol~ ~em...You know, llm ~n E~ger Beavem. You're a wg~{? An Eager Beaver, tb~tls the ~y Don introduced me. Jack, do you l~cw ~t that is? No, ~{~t? ~n Eagle Beave~ is ~ sad s~ck with a co~]miesion. Oh, i didn't kn~ tb~t..Thanks, Don I~iI 9sve some mor~ of my c~rds engraved....$~y ~ry~ how do you like it here at Mitch~ll Field? Oh fine, Jack..especi=.ll7 now in the winter time with all the snow on the ground..It's wonderful, really wonderful, W~t~s so wonderful about snow? It slc~s a soldier doom when he~s cD~slng a girl. ~rHoi 0236208
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JACK: ~%RY: J%CK: 3A~: ~Ry: JACK: M%WY: JACK: DON: JACK: MiRY: JACK: ~CN: TACK: MARy: -3 - #18 Well that:s ridiculous, Nkry..the snow..the slcw also... the snow also sl~s da~n a_ If~ when shels running away from a soldier. I ~ow, th~t~s wb~t:s ~o wonderful about it: ~...You wanted the soldier to catch you. youlre pretty sharp todsy, arenlt you, Quiz Kid? ITm sharp eve~ day, sister. Anyway, these soldiers here are all swell g~...I was out with one of 'em l~st night..we went to the wrestling mat ches. At the Garden? No, Rose3and.~ Oh, Roseland ~nce ~ll....I was up there the other night. No kidding, Jack...did you have fun? HOW can I have fun...you p~y the hostess for your d~nce, you lead her out on the floor, you put your arms around he~, then VL~I TE ~ YO]~ T~ TUM, THE ~CUSIC'S OVER.T Well what do you expect for a dime, Schubert's L~finished ~ry, it Isn't had enough I get stuck with short dances: but ~hen they were closing the p3ace for the night, I b~" one ticket left over. Well what did you do about it? What did I do about it.'..I wasn't going to get stuck fc: that ticket, so I called the mar6ger over and ccmplalne; to him. Did he give you yoom dime hack? RTP:01 0236209
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JACK: JACK: IARRY: ~RY i L%RRY: JACK: MARY: IARRY: JACK: lARRY: JACK: EilV~R : JACK: EINS~ : #18 NO, he just waltzsd ~e a~ound the floor twice and sent me hc~e..Boy, did he need a sbave..And the next time I -- OH HELLO, IA~iRY. }~V~L0, MR. BENNY. Well Larry, you've been irk New york for quite a while ncw..,%re you still l~v~ fun? Oh yes, I~m having& swell time. T~nks to ~. Benny. Yeah,..~t babes hc knows7. (~YHISTLES) Yes sir~. I~r~, you ~ean you and ~4r. ~er~7 go out on dc~ble dates? Yeah, .The g~l Mr. Be~uny goes out wlth h~s the cutest daugk±ter : Youtre darn r4ghfi she~s cLlte Klld so is her motl~r,..... %n7%~y kid, ths boys h~re are vi~%Itirlg to he~r ~'OU slng~ so let's bare it. oN oo0s) Hold it a mir~ute, larry...C~S D[. RiP, Berany, ray ~me is ELaer. ~llm a soldier statioped here at Mitchell Field, and h~ my spare t~as I ,~ite gags .... you knew, jokes..Are you in the n~rket for amy'? No tbanks, live got a rogul~r staff of writers. Ysah, but Mr. Benny, you pl&y a lot of Army ~amps, al~@ I can write you spec~l G. I. jokes. I kn~, but -- For instance...yon ask re why W. C. Fields is llke the Mitchell Field bus, ~TMO'~ 0236210
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< JACK: EIA~R : JACK: EIF~R: JACK: ELVER : JACK: JACK: ~&R% : JACK: FA-~ff : JACK: MAR~: .TACK: ~ARy : JACK: -5- #18 I_ook j sold JeP, . • ¢~D ahead~ ask ~e, ask l~@. Okay...Why is W.C. Fields like thin Mitchell Figld Bus. BECAI'SE ~E ~TCWS "I~N HE'$ LOADND, BUT ~ CA]~ A:}~;AYS HANDLE 0}~ KORE [ Iook. Look, sold~ep~ slt dome1, wil~_ Ea, lrm trylF~g to 5.o a show. irl] talk to you &item bhe prog~-a~. Okay, okay, but ~f you isy an egg~ donfb ~z~od over it. I won't, I wcn~t...Gs s,~ad~ I~rry. letls have ycur song... (Egg, ~1~od...Say, that isn7 t bad, ) (SEGD~ rN~o ~i~f,s NU~EH IIEDALINA~r) That was ~\ai~ra sung ~$ L&ra2y Zt~vens. ,.C~e t'P~t was swcll~ k!d~ ~/~1 I~n sure all these follows uu here at Mitobmll field m~st he,..Oh, my ~oodm~ss! WLmt~s the ~r~tter, J~ck? Hcly smoke~ Kere I am ir~ Xe~,: York~ an@...~ am i ~n /~r~uble?...Am I in a jam[ Jack, whab I s -msor~ ? WHAT'S WRONG.~...VYa~IN I LEFT L0$ AN$ELES I ~VCRGCT TO NOTI~_~ [~ DRAFt_ BO~_~D ..... lsnlt hha,~ 8,w~al'~ Jack: c.al~l dowq~ you do,It h~ve ~o Wo~ff~. Bat KmlXf~ you krmw how the dmaft L~sl~i is.,2ee~ tf~y wa~t to he able to p~I% thei~ finger on eve~ ~im~ tb~tts ph~Ically fit. If they put %hei~ finger on o~ you'd fall do~-. What are you ~alk~g about, .lira physically flt, IIm in or~e-A..Her~ it is on ~Z~ draft card...See...OI~2~-A~ RTHO1 023621"1
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f~ J~ MARY : JACK: I~ARK : JACK: ~Fff: JACK: ~IARy: JACK: PHIL: PHIL: JACK: HILL: • JK, JACK: That's A~ you took it off a bottle of m~at sauce. i did nct...ArJfl when they draft me, Irm going to ~prly for the Air Corps. The Air Corps! 0h~ Jack, dcnTt he rldiculous..Yeu ~ow you can't stat~] high alLitude. Mar~, altitude ~ver bothers me, ( I~UGHS ) Wh~t a~e you 2a~g!llz~ Lit? You went tc the movles, saw ~Imr~y Secor~s Cver Tckyo~ ~r,d your nose stsrted to blee&. The picture had nothing to do with it~ I was si~LinK ~< ~he balcor<¥ ....... ~new tb~fi can happen to arybody .... ALl RT~r~iT, JACE~,D!{, AmL HICT~ JACKS0~I~ STAi~ ~AC~J HY YA KIDS.~ (iePmm~s~) Phil, you've made !cud entre•noes ~efcl,e, bu- ~b~s in the world was that? • canrt help it Jacksom...These ~'acs have L'CSm sittln~ out zhere for =-.~- hour ~ai~in~ fo~ Dr~m~>r~ot ~=,~'is ~c s~low ~ap. Nait a mi.~ute, Phil...W~s•t ru~kes you think- they%e be~. waiting £0~ OX9~ We]], they~z~ women, ain't the~-? Phil, don~t he so concei~od~ Look, Ysokson~ whoreve~ I went they kept fc~i!o~:tn~ lu,~: ~r~d aski~~ fern ~-~ autograph.. ,I b~t I was asked to s!g:~ a thoussmd autographs today'. Really? ~'T ~WO ~ 02362 ~2
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PHYL: JACK; MARy: PHIL JACK: PHIL: JACK; ~ARY: JACE: DON: JACK: PHIL: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: DOH: ~ACK: DON: JACK: -7 #i8 Yc&h...If %hir~s keep up like this, I~m gol~ learn how to write. That I 'a~uld like to see, Oh, Phil, you mus~ be kidding...Don~t you ~w how to spell your n~.~e yet? Well I ~ow how to spell ~ first n~ne, bu~ my secor~ name throws me. Throws you,~Wb~t's so hard ab~u~ spelling Harris? IT HAS TWO SY~ABULLS IN ITT. ~. ;.Fhil, that rS Syhahul]s. -'.I r~es/% I mean, syhabulls ..... Oh darT. it, Jackj thu word is sybabulls. ~ary, you said ?~hat I said. Now ~it a mir_ute, kids, wail a mlnute..Ycu~re all sxoited arl t[~trs why you can't say it...Tha cc~ect prontunciatlon of She word is ~llahles. Yes, that:a it. Are you surej Donzy? - ~fcgr zertaiqly...Nsw taJ~e the wo~ds lucky S~rike ~eans firm tobacco. Lucky Strl~e means fine tobs~cco? YES, LUC~f STRIKE R~A/~S FI~ T0~%CCC. I know, I know, Don~ but W~t are you trying ~o prove? Well, IIm trying to show wh~t sylIahIes aze. l~ow the wo~d l~/cky has two syll~,hles, 5tl, lk~ has Cne, the words ~ans and Fine also have one~ Yes~ ~t the Word tobacco has three ~. Don, you just said the s~me thing we sald. 8TF,01 0236213
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DON: JACK: D0~ : JACK: ~R : JACK: PHIL: YACK: PHIL: EI/~ER : JACK: EiMER : JACK: EIJ~R: JACK: JACK: JACK: ROCHESI~R: JACK: T did? Yes. 0h~ for bGaVS~IS -8- #18 sake...Iir~gine saying sybabu!iz instesS o~ syllabus. Ymah...Well, now %bat we got that strs, ight~cd out, let's get o~ with the show,.. Ha~ R~Yf, I CGT ANOT}~R GREAT GAG FCR YA. Sit down, E]i~er, will you please. Say Jaokso~ who~s this Cha~acte~ ? He's a ~oldler b~re, a gag "~rlte~, A gag writer? YHAH¸, THAT IS i~.~ .ILL2 A LOAD CF ~S 0N~. Elme~j will y~< pleas~ .... DID YCU H~R A~Z~ ~ G~RAL ~f0 REFUSED TO PL~ A WAC IN THE GU&RDI~0USE ~CAUSE !~ Y0BT CCITDZII~ ~RIG -- A -- D~.,..F~ HA ~.°.G~ IT? G~TEPAI,, ~RIGADIE~ ? ~, WILL YOU P~E 81T DC¢~N? Okay, o~y~ if you war_t ,your s~w to be l~ke a t rai~l~g film it's all right wlth me. Wel! donlt worry about it, E!me~, a~ IZll talk tc I'll get it. (CLICI( OF I~E~/ER) Hello, H~LLO ~, ~Y, THIS IS ROC~S~-~. (APPLAUSE) Where are ~ou~ Roo~stel~? ATH01 0236214
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~9- ROCHESTER : JACK: ROCHEST°~Jv. : JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: RCOHESTIR: JACk: RCCI{EST~: JACK: ROCHZSTER~ ~ JACK: #i8 In your bct~l _~oom...I thought I'd better tell you ther~ Was a fellcw here from LOOK ~aziDe..f!e said they're doing a story abut you smA he asked me some questions. What did he ask you? Well, first he wanted to know y~ur ag~, so Z gave him our old standard answer, ~x. Good....And • hope you stuck ~o your a~swer. Oh, I did~ boss...%'O ~fArT~ HC~V ~IY Dlz,~ WAYS HE ASZED ~ I STILL S-A~ ~H~RT~-SIX. Thatrs rlght..J~t did he have to say to ~b~t? He said WH~ TI),~ MARC~IED ON~ YOU ~ST ~-~VE GO~ A.W-.O,L. I g~less h~ tLilI~ks he)s pret%~~ s~rt...wne.t else did he ask you, Roch~steg? T~mn ~e get to thaL questloll tb&t Cot years has been a burr~ir~ issue in the public mi~d. What I s that? COLqD YOU pOSSI~-f BE AS Cf[Z~P IN PERSON AS Y0U • "~: ARE ON THE BAD•0? Uh huh. 9~q{EN HE KIT ~Y~-- WITH TIIAT ONe., I HAD i'0 THIHE FAST. Wbmt ~ld ~u -,ell him? I TCKD H~4 YOU ~YERE SUCH A lAVISH SPE~DER YOU WErE ~0WN FRO~I COAST TO COAST A~ DIA~0ND J~l ~. Gcod. Ccc~. IN FACT Z TOLD HIM YOU T~LREd YOD~ ~40t[Ef A.?)AY LIKE IT WAS ~AD~ IN J~%PAN. Attaboy, Rochester. FtTH01 0236215
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ROC}IES~ER : JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK:, ROC~S'iER: JACk: ROCHESTER; JACk: ROCB~STER: JACK: ROC}~STER : JACK: ROCHZSTER : JACK: ROO~IESTER: JACK: ROChEStER: .T~CK: --'0-- #1~ AZID I JUST ABOUT F~AD HIM CO~VI_YC~D...~ IN WALKED T~ ~AN[ THE Z%i~ YOU ~-~E~ YOE~R 0TIED TWIN B~-J]TO~. Oh r~, gooch~ess,of all the times for him to come in. It was bad~ boss~ h~d...The first thing he did "was start yelling about 7ou over-cha~g~ng him for his lathery. Oh~ the r~r~"e o~ %hat g~y. it re&l]~ gct noisy. Why. ° .what rapKer~d ? I~LL, 0~ OF '.EI.~ GOT L~ TO TURN O~¸ I]~ LZ~ ~ ON ~9~ SH~R !~STEAD AND AIMOST DR~'~ T~ O~HER THREE. Oh, for hea~er-~s ~ake...Well wba~ ~g~er~ed to ~he ~i fL~m ~COK magazine ? ~ TOOK Ot,f~ LCOK AK~ JD~O OUT T~ W!~DO~P. Cu~ the window...Rcchester~ did you tell him ¸that my ~0, I ~V~T ~ ~ COD~ ~F~ ON ~ WAy DC~IN. ~ell Ifll he da~d..~What else he,ppemed today, Rochester? NOTHINI MUCH~ BOSSj ~l~tS BEI~,I PP~TY DUYL. Oh¸ ,Well~ I~ll see you whs~ I get home, goodbye. ~-~mm,..and I w&s ~o s~!xious to get a~. Im~ervlew from t~mt( S~QUE magazimo .IN,~C B~A~0" .Oh~R~ell. PIaF, Phil. (APPIAUSE) ~T~40I 0236215
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............ - --r (THIRD ROUTIh~) PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: ~JLRy: JACK: MARy: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: -ll- #18 Oh you pretty dcli~ you. That was "Whisoerir~" played by Phil ]4arris and his orchestra..Very good, Phii..Now kids, donrt forget after our program we're all invited to the mess hall for a bite to eat. ~ss hall? I'm sorryj Jackson, I can't be there. You can't? No~ there's a friend of Alice's in town, and she's here all alone, so Alice asked me to take her out end show her arour_d. Oh, one of those things..Ha ha..when a wife asks her husbar~d to take a girl out, I can imagine what the girl looks like. I~ii bet eight tc five she looks better than gladys Zyblscc. ~ary, keep my girl out of this, will ya. But she's so bow-legged. She is not bow-legged. She is too...She looks like a doug.hnut wlth one blte out of it. I don~t care what Gladys Zybiscc looks like...it isn't going to help ycu cut of your troubles, Phil. What troubles? Are you kidding?..While you're being dragged ~ll over town by some dame, weFll be in the mess hall enjoying that good old Army fo*d. Say, Phil, who is this girI you're stuck with? Ann Sheridan. ATM01 023621;'
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JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: Y~Y: PfIIL: JACK: JACK: xmJ~: rACK: -i2 #18 Well it serves you..WHAT?...~OM?., ,l ~ ~_QO? Ha ha yes, while you're in the moss hall enjoying that good cld Army -~cod~ I'M GON~A BE DEAGGED ALL 0"~ TOWN BY ~ oHZ~,IDe~ ...aln t that just toc, TOO, ah TOC! All right, all right,..why didy_'t you tell me ycu were going out with Ar~ Sheridan?..~ybe l~d want to join you. But Jackson, the mess hail...that good old Army food. I'~! NOT HUNGRy NOW!...After all, I like to go cut too.. As a m~tter of fact, ~ry can come along and we'll have fo~some. Well I don't knew..I promised Ann Sheridan that -- Phil, I'm sure Ar~ won't mind if ~ry and I come alon~.. , In Tact, you and ~,hry will make a very nice couple. WAIT A MI~[L-TE..?/AIT A MINUTE -- Why N~ry. Phil...I:m surprised at you. You twc act like you wouldn't go out with each other It ain't that at all, Jackson. Of course not...I don't mind goir~ out with Phil. And I don't mind goir~ out with .Zary. WELL T}~N ~A~ 0UGH~,A HAVE A LOT OF P~UN...I DON~T ~XND GOING OUT WITH A~ SHerIDAN, Hey, I'VE BI~ }~E SO LONG I WOULI~T MI]{D GOING OUT WITH GIADYS ZYBIZCO! Oh it ' s you Elmer. YEAH, ',~HERE IS BOW-IEGS? She's not here...Now sit down, FtTH01 0236218
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PHIL: JACK : PHIL: JACK: JACK; JACK; ANN: PHIL: AUN : JACK; AI[N: f'~CK: ~;N: MARy: /z -13- i~-18 Look Jackson, Ann Sheridan is expecting m_e to take her out, so when she gets hePe, you lay off. Okay, okay Phil. You can take A~m Sheridan and I~ll take I~ary..And Phil, as long as we're each takir~ out a girl, I don't want to get stuck with the check, and I don't want ~ to get stuck with the check. 5o tonight it's share and share alike. T~t's a good idea, Jackson. Sure. When you split it four ways, NOBODY gets hurt~. Since we're go~ out on a double date, let's all sT~chronize ezu~ Watches...heN fellers...And well --- well ~ny~ay -- (S0bZ~D: ~CCK CN DOOR) O0[~ IN. (SOUND: DOOR CP~S AND CLOSES) HELLO JACK, (APplAUSE) Heilc, baby. HELLO, PHILSY. ,JACK, I'M SORRY TO BUST IN LIKE THIS, BUT I'VE GCT A DA~E WITH PHIL. I ~auow~ I Fr_o~% and welll all be together..You see, Y~.rf and I are going with you. OH MARY, HELLO. Hello Ann..Gee, you're looking swell. Say Annie -- I never saw-- YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD TOO, N~%RY..AND I LOVE THA'. I~ESS YOU'RE WEARING. Oh it's just a little thing I picked up at Saks Fifth Avenue, 8T~01 0236219
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JACK: V~!£Y : JACK: ANN: JACK: JACK: ANN: JACK: JACK: ANN: JACK: OKIL: PITII,: Yes~ it's a -- S&y Ann; l~ve been ~&r-ting to ask yom...where in the world io ycu gel your h~ir done, it always ].o:ks so nice. Yes, it aiwg~s looks ISN'T THAT FL~-f, ~9.RY, I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU ~BE SA~ TKTi£@, BECAUSE I'¥E A~AYS A~4i~ED YOUR i~!~. Well Nmry always.., • us~zlly get r~ dgne at Pierre's. Well. Pierre's is -- WC~DER~£I: STYLI$~: NOW Antolners -- Well you k~_ow at Pierre's the~ h~ve a g]rl that -- W~lt a m~nute, wait a ml/lute~ let me ~et inPm this GO~VerS~iO~. AL-RIGHT~ JACK...'~-~xE DO Y01- GEm YCUR HAIR DCG~? I H~N~T KNOW, ROCHESTER TA~S IT SOMEPLACE.. ,Ncw Armie~ I dcn~t th~/'k it's nlce fcr you to come here ar_d b~ve a whole big conversation with Nary~ wb-tle Phil an~ l star_E here llke dopes. ~tes~ an£ my feellr~s are hurt. OH I ~ SCRRZ~ PHIL, l. DIDN~ [~lal~ TO DO 1T. (CWE) I can't hells it~ my fee~in{s are hu-~t. FIT~401 0236220
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P~IL: A2~: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: ,TACK: EV~RY~ JACK: A I~ : J}CK: AF~T: T~CK: f ,,J- JACK: ANON: (CL~I~) Yes 1 5o~ i £~e! tewwible, OH I;M S0~R~, PHILSY, CCME ~P~, ,LET ~ PUT I~f APeS AROt~D_~ YOU AND G~iE Y©U A DR%AT BZG IflSS. ',A~iE f~SSES PHIL) 'DtR]2~G KISS) ~I.....?KEY ...... BRTAK IT ~TP..BP~K IT O~...NCW CUT ZD%T OUT .... N0~,' /AFTER KI~S] .!l~n. How;d you llke it; Arm.ie? OH HU~BA III~BA FFJ~BA i . H~IZl..fiI~ o~oil~s oil, Jaokso~ what are ~ ~ad about'! %%811 my feelings were hu/,t just as much as youz's we_~e. Oh; Jack! I canIt h~ID it if ~4 feolings al, e hurt. Well ~ It will m~e you feel bett~r, Z~ll pu~t m%~ ar~s arotn]d you a~d g_ve you a big -- MAS~ L~0U i~T~P OD'~ 2F ~{IS .... After all~ it ~as A[~ ,¢:0 hurt my fee]ir~zs, mot you. ~%~{~T DID YOU SA~ JACK? (CiZf~) I saiJ T feel terrible~ and ! thil~lc yoa Cu~-ta do soa!ethlng £bout it. ATL RIGHT, JACA, i~LL SEND YCU A ~TTgR Db' APC!CUY_. I Qon~t wazmm ce kissed b2 a boy on a bicycle az~,~ay .... YOU co',~d treat ,r~ better th~:~ tha~, A~z..Afte~ all~ we made a pIctlLl%9 togetller..Reme~el~ "George Wsshir±gtor. Slept Here?" PIC~q{C ~"/AS FZAYZ~TG ~ CH~A. In Chir~? It was?. J~t t~m? Ch-b]~GKING ,; ~THO't 0236221
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JACK: AR~ JACK: MARY: JAC~C : PHIL: JACK: A i~2T : JACK: r~RY: JACK: A~r~: A~: %NN: .rACK: MXNNIE : -16- #i8 REALLY? ~ .WELL! JACK~ CC}~E BACK ~lllE, ~I~T ~AS THREE MO~ AC~! Oh, oh, Let hi~ go, Anr,, lee wants to gst there oefm~e the prices cha~ge~. I do not, I just got excited, ghatrs all. SAY, PHIL, E£IL, iF WEIRE GOING P~\CE$ TONIGHI~ ~ ~Eg~R GET S TAR~I~D. Okay, A~le. YOU SEE, A GIRL FRIEND OF MD~E IS WAITING OUTSIDE, A~ ~E'¥~ GOTTA F~TD SOMEBODY ~'OR ~2~R. Did I, did I hea~ you right, Anr_i~?...A girl frier~d of.. uh, .of your~ is waitL~4 outside? YES. Arid you~re..uh..~o'a~re ~ook~mag for som~or_.e to go out with her .... (~,IT~ LAUC~). ,Well, lira ]rotm boy, let's gO~ Hary, Instead of go~z out wi~h me,, you can go out with one of tP~ p~iots ~.er@ . TPmnks, Jack, I feel like l~ve just been tqken elf -~- P, Oh Arm, while I~m gstt#ng my hat and coat >ave your glrl fr~e:id co~e in. OKAY, JACK. CK I~ADZLZN~..bZ~LI!NE, "¢!OULD YOU STEEP ZN ~RE A :<O),~T? (SLIGIIT ~T ~ I WA~T YOU TO ~I~T THE ,MAi~ yOTJ~I~ GOING 0~ WZ~I T©~IGIT.T, Wait a mln~te, Arm., di~ you say he~, name was Madeline? Dat~s me..~adelJ~ Nusshaum if you please~ FiT',40~t 0236222
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. A¸ JACK: MII~FE : JACK: MII~,IE : JACK: JACK: MINN-vE : JACK: JACK: KilL: ANN: PHIL: JACK: M~N7~C: JACK: JACK: -iy- #18 '~fny, youlrs Mrs. ~ussba~m! You ~:ere exDecting mSybe JeEse Jones? ~o, r_o, "out -- M~ "~, what a surorise ~o be m~etlng yoc, 1~,. Betray. A sum orlme? Yes, F know Z ~ going o~ a bl!~ date, b'~t you are ~VsnL~..6~ mine eyeB. But !4re. N~sbaum~ how do you happen to ba ~ith A~n Sher i~a~? Oh, she I~ coming to mine r~staurant £requ~nbl~ fo~ a ~mall order of chapged chicken liver...Holl~wood style• Hollywoo~ style? Yea, ~he liver ~s coming from- a ohioken ~earing darl~ glass~, Oh..Well i don~ t kno~ a~out thls da~ t~ight. COb~ CK, A~~TE, LETIS C~. HI7~ UP, JACI(SCK. ~]el! P~-I, you and Ar~ie r~ along, I ~on~t thiM~ i feel ]i~¢e i_ Uomo on, come or, take m.lne arm, Jackle boy. But f~'~,s, 21~sba~z, I~ve got a ~ate ~l~h Ml~s Livir~stor~ Co~ on, Jackie boy, we~r~ i~ alz, eady. ~T~01 0236223
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JACK: MI}i}~E : JACK: JACK: -IG- ~S. }K~SSBA~4, ZTCP PULLING WLg A?~L .OH MARY -- CCI~ 0}~, CO~ CE, V~LL HA~f£~ FID[...(SINGS) GIVE,~ ~E L~ LOTS OF m~-~ ~TATH THE S~RrT/ SKIES ABC~% -- DC~'T FLT~CI~ ~ IN. PLEASE, STOP DPAC<'ING ~! (~7o~)m m~ L~, ---A L~ ira, (APPlaUSE Ah~D P!AYCFF MUSIC) \-i A T ~KO "~ 0236224
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JACK: DON : -I£- IAD~S AND GENTI/~*~N~ EVery ?~EK MOST R~DIO PROGF~7,:S CA.~RY SC4E SORT OF A S~ECIAL Y~SSAGE FRC~[ THE OFFICE CF WAR TNFC~@~ION. THE MESSAGE TOh"IGHT 15 AN [~}~ FLEA FCR TEN THCUSAI$ REGIST~RED ~RBES TO JOLN IX A~Y NT~SE CORPS AND SERVE D~ T~E A~_ HCSPITALS ~; TKE L~4KTED STATES. YOU CIVILIAN NLRSES CAN BEST YP~CTICE YOL~ PRCFESSION BY JCINIh~ Th~ KEMY NURSE CCBPS. YCUII/- BE C~ISSICI~D, %@ELL-}AID, CiCTF~D~ PiES MANY OTHER BENEFITS, BL~ T,~ ~PORTANT THING IS, gb]~ WCL~DED ME~f :VEED CARE A~ TBE A~Y IS TRAGICALLy I~ ~[EED CF T-~ ~(OUSAND NO~SES, .N_~. SO WRITE FOR INFC~iiTION TC: THE SU~GEON ~P~\~RAL~ U, .S, ~Y, WASHINGTCN 25, Do C. '~AFPIAUBE ) Jack will be back i:~ just 6 mi~t~te, b~ao fIPst her~ is ~@ good f~nd~ L. A. Speed R~ggs, ~TM01 023622S
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RIC4~ : RD~S~%EL : BALL: DEI~R : RUYSD%EL: S~%P/BD~fT: UEL~R : R~D~EL: , ~D~ ,L. ;H:~pBCTT: ~ AR ~ ~RBUTT. JACK BENNY ~iTCHOVER TO IC~V Y(~K FOR CLOSING C(Zi~ERCIAL V CLC~I~G CC~9~ERCL%L (cmN - , zcm0 Independent to~.cco experts - ~.uctioneers, buTers and v~reho~semen - present at the '~cco'" auctions can see who buys wh%t to~.cco. ~<r~ 3~mss Monroe i~ll, tobacco auotlonee~ of %~J~/]ston ~lem, ~,~o~th ~,~o!i~, o~e of these e~cperts, s~!d: i~ve ~en an ~ucti~meer for twenty-seven years and I hs, ve sesn Lucky Str~/ce b~y tohmcco ~ith one censlstent st~n~.rd in mi~d - th~ f~er, li~hher l~%f. ~tls "~h~ I~ve been smoking Luckies for ~¢onty-five yea~s. I{ere is expert teste~ony: Luck:,' Strike m~%ns ~r. to~coc. So smoke that smoke ef fjr~. _tc~lc_c~ - Lucky Strixe. The famous to'~_ccc auctioDeers heard on tonight's program ~vex,e i~~. F. 2,. Boone, of Lex~gtcn Eentuc~# (CH%~T- SOLD AMERICA[{)and Mr. L. %. (Zp,~-~d], R~ggs, of ~]idsboro, North Ce.rali~ (C~ANT - SOLD {/I~RIC%/{). Basil Ruys~ael ~" '~ "~ ' - L ~ - ~trik~o s~,a~Lug for tn~ m~xers ~£ ~,u~ c~ Bight 2o,~ are~ You ~idlu.~t Lucky Strilo~ means fine tobacco.~ Fine tobacco meu'as a fine ci~rette. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco - Luc~J Str~ke ! (~;ITC}[0~ TO LOCATI01[ (k~ ~\CI( B~2~P! ~I~[-0FF) 8T~01 0236226
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JAC~ TAG ,flJ INsllJ fellows and gir!s~ we had a s~3el! day here at J'~*-. All Field and t~1~A~ very much for i[~vitiu~ us [lere...An~ next S~i:~day night we~ll ~e v~ith you a~aim, brea~c~stLrg frcm t1~e Na~Dr Hcs~ital at St. Alb~r_s,., Gcodui~t, folks. FtTH01 023~22P
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~ H ~- k-- ....... r_ ¥
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RUTHRAUFF CLIENT: PROGRAM: Ar~RICAN TOBACCO CO~IP%I~ LUC~I SlT~I~] - L,S,/~4.F.~. TIM J&CK BEarD/ ~OG11AM RYAN Inc. ADVERTISING RADIO DIVISION REBROADCAST: 9:30-10:OOPM,~'/~ STA: KP03 K0210, ~J, KHQ, KGW~ F2SD, KFI. BROADCAST: "" q DATE: 3RD ~,r if> FEB. ~, 1945 NETWORK: ~C ROYSDAEL: ]~ IGGS : ]~Uk~DAEL: TICEER : RDY~D{EL: SHAF, B trIT : (~. C) D~4~R : SBARBT#~T : Quality of product is c~so~t~l t(~ contir~u~g success. (CH~_ - SOLD ~'~ICAI~) Strlk~ mes, n~ f~ne to];~coc - so roumd, so f~r~ so full~" packed, s a free and es, sy on tho draw~' 2&3) Bure thug.~ -~a t's right! Luck~ Strike .~.~e~ns fin~ toba, coo - so round, so firm; so f~lly packed, so free and easy ,~:u ~ne dra~ ~TMOi 0236229
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JACK BENNY FRC GRAIVl #19 5TH REV." EUYSDAEL: BOONE : Tame the wo~'d of the experts - ~ ~trik~ mear~ f~-~ tobacco! Yes, iudeos~de~t tobacco experts - auctloD~oers~ bu~e~s and wa~ehou~ef~.e~ - p~o~or.t a% the auctlor~ cau see Luci~ Strike co~mistently se!ec~ and b'~ ~le f~r~ ~e i!~hter~ -~he natu>a!ly ~ii~er Luc~ Strike tocaceo. So, smoke that ~moko of fine tobacco --'Luck~" Strike. 'SWITC~0VER TO LDCA~ICN OF JACK Br~7'TY SH~q ATM01 0236230
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DCb : DON; JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: DON; JACK: DON: JACK: (AF~ C0~]CIAL, MUSIC ~P AND FADES) FROM ST, AIBANS NAVAL HOSPITAL IN I.ONG ISlanD.. ,~IE I/~C~ STRIF~ FR08RAM,.. STA~IR~G JACK BE~P/. ~ .Wlq~-d i~?I LTV~GSTO_~5~-, PPZL -~!S, BOCHE~ER~ LAP,By ST~S~ ~2~ "YOD~S T-~ULY'~ DCN WIL~0~. (APPLAUSE - ~JSIC UP AND FADES OUT) ,~D NOW ~ADIES AND GF~T~[~..~I~CE ~.VE p~tw BROADGAZ~I~G FROM ST. AI~S ~0SP!TAL..~CH IS ON E~G ISIAND... '~{ICE iS ~-FAR ~ YC_~tK, .WHICH IS ~AR BR00KI~L..I B:~IS~G Y0L ONE 0F D~'~ BL~S..JACK BENNY_~ (APPmU~) Thank you, t[~k yo~j tha1~ you, Hellc s,gair t~s is Jack Ber~r~- tc.lkLo~. ,And 'Don, I thought that ,~ms a very cute introduGtlon, buy it so happens tbzt our broadcast ismtt comlrg f~-om Broeldyr~. And besides, I happen to be a hum from...I mean I [~ppem to he a -~atlve of ~!auL~an, Oh, that's right~ J~ak..you were ~orn in Wauk~g&n, Ye~ sir. ~a~gar~, llllr.ois. ,~hat ~ town..wh~t a t~vJ<L • ~tr~polls..what bulldogs..what skyscrapers: "/,rb~J-.. Wait ~ m~u~e, Jack, the tallest building is ~¢/aukeg~n is o~ly three stories high. Yes sir, what sk~scraDers. ~vhat activity, what -- JACKI HOW CAN A ~-STORY fYJILDI~G BE A SKYSCRAE~? BECAUSE WAUEEGAI{ FAS A VER~ L0~q SKY,.TfL@TIS WHY.., An~way~ I loved ~qaukegan you know. In fact I dX~.~t leave there ~til I completed my education. Oh really, Jack? .,, ~f~t ~ollege did yo~ go to? I di~It ~o to college. Yo~ knc~ you don't b~ve ~o go to ~o!lege to -- RFH0t 0236231
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DOI~: JACK: DON: JACK: DON : JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: JACK: PAULIne: JACK: PAULINE: .... = ...... Well then how long d~d you go to high school? I didrrt go to high scb~ol,..itls sot necessaa~7 to go to high school -- ~LL FOR HF&VEN'S SAti~, ~ACKj HOW LONG DID Y~I GO ~0 GRAI~9~AR SCHOOL~ TWELVE YEARS, YOU THOUG~ ~OU ~CD ~ TH~E, DIDNrT vog7 And I would have gone longer than that, but I was d~afted into t!ze Na~...so there. But Jack, I happen to know that in the last war they 4C~d~t draft ~e~l i~to tk~eNa~y~ Wall I wasnTt exaot!y dz.afted, Don. ~refs what happened.. You see ~y father had a clothing store, and he sent ~m to Gre~t Lakes Na%~l Trairlzlg Station tc d~liver six sailor suits. Uh huh. Well when I got there ~n offic~l' asked me to t~y on ore of those sailor suits for Size. Ar.d what hapDer_ed? $1ze didr~ft show up and I b~d to wear it for the ~exE tbree e~,. ~ut listen ~ ~{ed belng in the Na~ ..~= ?~S SO ..... (ICfOCK ON DOe2,) Come in. (~oc~ o~s) Yes, l~m a nurse stationed here at St. Albans ~ospital~ in the research department. Would you mired openil%g youm, ~outh and SaVe&~ "At?~r RT~01 0236232
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SAC K : PAULINE : JACK; P %ULI}YE~ : JACK: PAULINE : JACK: DO~: JACK: DON: JACK: .9,~L: JACK: JACK: PHIL: SACK: PIiIL: JACK: PiLIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: -3- ,~ io Wider. ~[E~EK!- - ~-ae~, please, AH~H~K~-- Walt a mmmute, what are you locking fc~? (DOOR sly) Ncw that's the silli6st thing I ever -- ( mUG~ ) Don, Don what a~,e you l~ugi~bg a%? Ch boy, did she make e, sucke~ aut of you[ ~an..Don, Don there's all old Cb~hnese p~,ovgrb t/%9,t m~.ys.. WI~LE~N BIG FAT ~<,~0L]CEI~ LAUGH AT MAt{ ~'~0 PAY HII~i, A~NNOUNCER SCCIT LOSE PAY pJ~IAT KIIEP ~LIM BIG ~AT! . .So just because t~t nurse was pretty, you did~/~ h~,,e to - AND ~S G.0.K. G.OIK. ? G.C.K. ? (APPLAUSE) G.0.K.? l~at's that? 0i~ Z;~RRIS, YOU'RE JUIST l~ll~ A ZCCW, SO PULL UP YCb~i ST_k~J~ AND TAK~ A DOW. Phil -- OH HARRIS, YOU~RE LIKE YT~ PACIFI~-- Phil-- YOUR HAIR IS SO " ~ ~A~PI A~,~ YOU'RE SO TEP~IRIC[ YAHOO ~ W~it a minute..~L%IT ,% MINUTE'. Oh hello Ja, ckso~, when CAd [o~ come ~? ~TH01 0236233
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JACK: #. PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: DON: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: T- • PaiL. JACK: LARRY: -4- #-19 !~ve been imbue roll the ti~}e..And P~Li].3 -~b~t's tl%mt r~w one you pulled on ,as..What does t,hat mea~, G.O,K.? Th~t~s the title the doctors gave me around here• But G.O.K...,rJhat does it mean? I dorJt ~_ow..I gave a pint of blood t~Lis morn£]g st! that's what they ~rote o~ the bottle. Oh oh..Well that probably means the b)~e. But Phil, I ea~i~ b ~r~dersLand them acceptJ_n~ your blood. ~Fr~t are you re!kin' about..I ~ve elgh~ plntS of h!cod already and they want more[ Well don't feel so ~e_oi~] usin zt for bacl! rubs., A~1~way P[r[l; I want to tell you sometILing. medic~l 8oience b~s cemtsi~Ly n~de ~eat progmess sLnce the last war..yom know...we didr~'t halve plas~ when I was in the Na~. You're right, Jack, Jfhe sclentisbs and doctors ~ave been womdor fal, Them nurses aim_~t bad either. Your±'e not kiddl~ Phil. ~those n~se$ do a ~ea,t job C~qd L~hley need a lot mol,e of ~em. v ~ h~e ~>~ Jackson, ~_ ~Le~Zlt to ask you. When yo~ were i~ ~ . Nat~ w~t W~,s ~-cu_~ rank? Well I Was a Sesm}zn Fourth Ciuzss. ~es sir. Sea~n Fourth Class•.wl%~t~s that? Tb~t~s an ~nsigr_ with the adr let out of [L~s chest.. AND NOW, :tND _~dV~ LADZES A~ID GENT~..I~2~Y STE]I'~NS, OUR SINGF~, ~ff!_iL..Oh larry~ come here a minute, Will ~fol! • Yes, Mr. Benny. .... RTP, O'I 0236234-
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JACK: L%PdQY: ~CK: J~CK: L~J{Y: JACK: PHIL: JACK: ~LON ~ACK: ~%RY: JACK: ~tRY: JACK: Cc~e on in ..... ,.Say, they llke yoa here, kid. A'f~t are you going to sing for the boys? ItIs callod "&n Irish Lullaby.Tr Oh yos; my mother ~sed to s~ng tD~t to mm all tho time. Go ahead, kid. That was~.tbat WaS :'ItTs an Irish Lullaby" sung by lar~y Stevens, and is.rry, ~nat ~s boaut~ul. Tl~uk you. And the orchest~ sounded good too~ PhiI...Phil~ PHLOX, where are you? Hsr~ I am, Jackson, I just ~tepped out for a minute..Are you ready f~r me t) lead Im~rry~s so~ now? Phil, we just f~ished tl~ song~ ~ .no wonder the music sounded better. ; .who...But who ~s tl~t fellow that conducted the orchestr~,...}fi~/ BUDDY, ~0 ~i~ YOU? I~m the Janlto~ hs~e. 0h...0h, well au~y, n~ we &%n get on with tbm ...... OH }~TLL0, rv~%~f. ~]ELL0 J%0K, HI Zi FELL%RS. Nkry~ this is the fi~,st time you've been so ~te°.where w~re yot~? I was oatslde t~,Iklng to a couple of s~llors. Well ~ry, I hope yo~ didr~It overdo it llke the last t~8 We p~yed at & Naval base..You t~Iked to a sailor; and in flvs minutes his whole f~ce ~s n~ksd with lipstick. ~0'~ 0236235
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~Y: J~CK: ~RY: JACK: JACK: M~RY: JACK: MARY: JACK: PLqL: JACK: JAC~(: MARY: J%CK: ~%9 Jt%ck~ s~ilors don~t refer to those m~rks as lipstick, they Call rein cc, mp~i~a ribbons. ~ry~ c2m~i~ ~,ibbons are s~ethlng you get ,%fret & t-a tt le. Well, I p~t ~p a little fight~ Oh, oh. ~y Jack, hawrs the sh~ going9 Oh gre~t..al]d you should h~ve been he~e.~ ~I pULlled a ~cn_derful geg before...I said they used PhilIs blood fol~ be.ok rubs. Well youlre a fine one to t~ik~ ~%q~,t do yo~ mean. YOU donated a pint of blood, they ~ve it to e. soldier, it rnde h~m so ch~p he shot & Jap~ then l~n after hla~ to get the bullet ~-ok. %vasy donlt...Well they don!t c~.ll me "Get the lead outu ~nny for noth~g...~l love tl~t...I wouldn:t take tb~t ~g out fo~ &n~hing...now thure~s 5 Joke...[ intended to l~ve it in the scz, ipt .... i love tl~t~....And now~ ~dles 8.ud gentlemen, for our fe~%tu-~e att_~ct!on this evenID~.,.~ J&ck Benny, ~ill p]~%y ~. violin solo .... ~y s~lectlon ~,~il! be -- Oh ~y J~ckson, ! s tw you pl~y tile fiddle ~/i thzt picture ~Holl~oo~ ~,nteen.~I Did yo~ Phll ........... I~m golng to see it tonight. Oh no Jack, not ag~lu. ~es, ,~ry, ~nd yoLI:~ ~cln~ with me, But Jack, we ~aw it last night fo~ the twelf~ time. ! know~ but who c~,n enjGE it under those oi~c~nstances. FgT~407 0236236
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JACK: JkCK: ~XICK: JACK: JACk: JACK: ROC~ESTER : JACK: JACK: -7- Oh.. °Ird ~ather not talk &bout it. Come on, Jackson, tell us. ~,~lell...I h~,d ,-~ dmte to t~ke ~1~ry to see the plct~me.., It ~,~s early In the even1~g and I ~s ~n my hntel getting ready to go out...In fact, at the m~ent, I ~s takhug a b~th~ (SHORT T~NSITi0N ~CSIC) SFi s m a T B) Oh boy; the~els nothing llke ~ good hot b~th..Sh~wrs ~.re ~lJ. right, but if you %~.nt to l~l~x, s~k in a tub.. ~T~m....just look at ~y feet...ho~ £id they get ~o d~ty? .... l;d bette~, scrub ~em... (LOUD SCRUbBinG) I womde~ wb~t it co~ld be, it dcesn!t seem to...Ch ~mn it, I forgot to t~ke ~mck_s off..~ .... Oh well, you can't think of everything. (OCO~ O~,rS ) Say boss, I just finished ironing your shirt and your shorts. Good. ( S ',mm, rG) Cee, this ~te~s nice z~nd ?~l~n. Do you want me to get yo~ acres socks, o~ vzill you wear the ones you have on? Don~t be silly. ~_ee bee bee bee. WT~t are you laughing at? ~T~OJ 023623P
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ROCI~ST~ : JACK: ROCHEST~ : JACK: ROCHEST~ : J%CK: ROC~STER: JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: ROC}~STER : JACK: ROCHESTER: You with tb~t Ik~thlng c~p ono..YOU LOOK LIKE CHARL]~S A~NT AT TPZ S~S![~...IA'H%T DO YOU WEiR TA%T _~ING FOR, BOSS? Well you donft think I v~%nt to get ~ l~ir w~t, do you? No...AND ~'OU I~0HtT U~LESS YOU SPL%SH SO~ WATER YNTO TOP BUR~%U DFA~. Roc~hestcr, stop wlth that..°Nc~¢ pick up the ~sh cloth and scrub my back. 0k~y. (SP~%SNI_YG AND SCRUBBING) AI~, that feel~ good, kesp it ~p.°S~.y, Rochester, sittiug in this ~,~ater rem~ds me....did I evm~ tell you about the t~ne I ~s in the ~ :,,nd they ~ve me a medal bea~.use -- I v~s -- T}[0D~A}H]% OF T~S, BOBS.,.~SZ0USANI~ OF TIMES. Oh. BUT YOU TXLL IT D~2aV2 ~V~{Y TIIVI~ 50 GO AI~IAD. No, I:!l think tlp a new...l mean never mi~.d...If youI~ not Interested in h~ing ~bout :~e when i ~s a s~ilol, It~ o~y. (SPL~SILING CONT!}YCS~S TY~q0UC~H ~Y~C/ S~OH) (K%~?l)....WT<~T A S%~CR I WAS..I JOI~D THE N%W, AND IT WAS PRGMOTION AFTER PR~0TION,..I~" NO Ti~, I '~I~S A R~i%~q AI~VYI~L~ O0~4~NDING ~P~ S~-IP, SAILING ~Ir~mN SF~S,.~IND I RI~E~]R O~E Tl~E~..Rooh6,ster, stop ri~pllng the water, Itls making me semsiek...Nc~ where was I. 0236238
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JACK.: ROC}IEST~ : J~CK: ROCI~ESTER : J&OK: R 0C~S~ : J%CK; JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: ROC~ST~q: JACK: JACK: RgC~STER : ROC~STE8 : ~4AIPl: ROCI~STE~ ~ MARY: -9- ()19 Neve~I m~d?. ~Now get busy and finish v~shing my back. VI@ed~ING AIL I~AX AITD RkOZED \ITTH RATN -- Rochester -- TOTE TI~T BRUSH~ LIFT ~T SOAP~ ~C~ETZMES I ~71SH I WIS WITi~ BC8 E07~. Oh, every week you want to "~ with somebody else~... i~st ~-eek yeu ~nted to be with Fibbe~ McCee. Hee hee Lee...LOVE 'I%~T M\N~. Oh ~oa li~ everybody. ° .N~,; sband, hack ~,~hile I -- The~e~s tho door...you ~ee who it is, ~nd I~I~ d_~ess Yes sir...YOU U.~NT ~ TO ~T YOUR GIRDLE, BOS~? Girdle...Roch~ater, ~ve ~sk~d ~~ not t~ ce,~l it that. Oh yes...YOU WfJ~T i~E TO ~'.T vOO~ FOLq[~TION C4h~NT, BOSS? No, I won't ~eed it, l~m going to ~'oar my b~ggy tweeds... I{~y u.p and see whols ~t tho dock. Y~s si~. (DOUR OPEI~ %h~ CLOSES..FEW FO~TS~F,~ ~ DOOR 0FE}JS) Oh hello, Miss Livingstone, come in. Th~nk yo% Rochester...wb~rels },~r. Benny? He!ll be out in a m~ute, b~:s getting dressed. Oh..ss~y Rochester, you:~ g]~,d we're in N~w ~ork~ a~en~5 you? RT~01 0236239
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EOOHESTER: ~Ry: R OOY~EST]~t: ~AEY: RO0}~S~: ROCP~S T2~£: M%RY: ROC}~ZTER : MIRY: ~IRY: -lO- #z9 ~llSs Llvi~stons, ~%st week I met ~ gtTl up bl~r~ tbztls the most be~utLeul thtu~ yould ever ~%w. Really? Yes ~;a lam-~ S~ looks llk~ Le~ Home ao~ent~in~ t.~ pcsitiv~ (IAUGh~) Well she r~lly mast be p~tty..Dces ~he work up there? ~es, she works ~ ~ ni~It cluh...She~ the ci~rette glrl. Ths cigarette g~-~l? ~K%~, AND Sf~ D~%N~ A~ NUC~ TO L~ %5 L5~FT~ (L{UG~5) Oh Rochester. She c~me t~ my ~bl~, smiled at me, and I bought every pac-~nge of Lucky Stx, lkes she bad. YOU did? Yeaho..Then I book an option on next D-ear~s c~op. Well I don~t blame you, Rochesto#~°.you ~ow Lucky Strike means fine to~tcco, And golden br.~m. (LiUC~,) Rochester, I~ve nero-~ he~d 7o~ talk this wa7 about a glrl,..Do you think you:ll ~:rz~$ her? Th%~ will be discussed with the next meet~zg of the Big Three. Th~ Big ~r~? Y~h..~H~, ME, AND HER ~: ~n.,.~iell if tbatls the W~y it is, I 6~om~t think ~ou~ll @VS~. o,, °*o~
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JACK: ROCI~SI~.<: JAC;<: ROCI4gs .~: J.%CI[: J~%CK: Y~Y: JAC:<: YARY: JACK: JACK: JAOI~: , , 7. ii'19 (DOG o s) I[cllo ~zqY,, ,fill ~ r~dTf ~ ~00-~ ~8 I get my ~.t ~ ~ne~e ~o'i golnTj boss? V~e:~e going to see my picbm, e, "]{ollTf%Vood C~,nteon~. But boss, 2o~ wems theme this afternoon. ! dor~It ceD."e, I ~ar~t to see h~ I look at night .... Come tna, ~hry~ letls go. ~ixty-two st~Ts and he Cc~lls it his plctui~e. All rib%t, all rigg~tj c~_e on. m. s ) Y~s sir" ]l~t 8. cr,owd..,l ~ever thought v¢eld get to the theatre~ Y~8~h..%v_d [~hry~ look st tb~,t 3ine of peopl~ w~/ting to b~ tto~:ets ~t the %ox offlos~,..,%nd gosh, tbe~-Ire sl~ s~ ilors i Jnck~ thoylre not ~tlng to b~y tickets~ ~%'l~IS ~ OV~R-~L~¢ OF T}~ ~AINT \LBA~N~ PAY LIA~[ 0h~ G h, 0~.. 22elI~ l'~r~Is the theztme Itne..let's get on the end of it. Ok~y. Pardon ne~ Miste_~. 3top >~ shov~~, stop ~, $h~inI~. Ilm so~y...l~m tx~i~_g to get o~ tb~ ticket lime. Ol~y, o~y. $a7 mlster,..bav~ you read wh~t the ~ovle c?itlcs ~aid about this picture? -- ~FM01 02~62~1
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< ~VACK: EIA~E~: ~%UK: JACK: ~%RY: JACK: JACK: JACE: ~SRIZ%: JACK: JACK: Nopo, W~II, they s~Id, quote, "Kollywood Canteen, J&mmed with s~r-st~d@sd cast, is one of Eo!l~woodls finest pictures. Amozg the n~n~ ent~rtalnlng performers a~e Bette Dlvls, Eddls ~nto~, P~rb~ Zt~n~yck, Jack C~rson. Jane W~man s~nd .JA~£ ~, WHO P~Z0~%LLy CONTRIBUTES C~E OF T~E MOZT HI~I00B BITS LN THE PICTURE BY HIS VIOLIN DUET -- W~t9 BUDDY, i EONtT CARE ~]~AT THE B~VT~S ~%y, II~ JD~T GOIN~ IN ~ TO ~T 0UTA ~ COLD.~ Pi~...h~w do you lik~ t~t fresh ~uy, ~..,he can't even be sociable..I only t~led to tell him ~h~t the Donlt take it t~ he~t, Jack, G nd cle~e your scrapbook.~ 0k~y...C~ ~h~y, book, Isnl$ tl~_,% ~ute...t~t little boy is t~ylng te huy ~, tlcket and he can h~rdly me, oh the bc~ office wi~dow...0H ~0NNY..I~LL HELP YOU, SON~PI° J,%ck, atop ~lllr~ him S~Iny, 9~%T'8 ~%~ L~ Gq%RD[I~. Oh dirT_ It, I ~ nni~ t~t mistake. HC~ ~any, please? H~h?°.0h Yes, Mis~o..were the~ two passes left hers fo~ me?... I ~m,..~hem...I ~m the star of this plotu~e I. Well, fill seeo...o,.°o...........I~m so~r%,, hut the~e are no p~ses fo-~ you, ~is~ ~,vis. Wait a m~n~te, ~m zet Eett~ Davis, i~m ~ack Benny... tb~t~s who I am..J~CK Bh~%~Y| Jzek she b~lieves y~u, STOP OPENING yOUR SCRAPBOOK. ~%1 rlght. ~FHOI 02362~2
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E,%%RY: JACK: ~CJR !h~L: J~CK: ~3RIEL: J&CK: ~RY: J~C~K: FRED: pORTLAND: PORE~AND: FY'~D: #19 Came on Jack, be a sport and buy two tlckets. Ch, all rlght...Here you are, Miss...two tickets, please. Yes slr..Eerels ~our tickets, and hotels your change. (OOD~ ON COTJN~:I:~) Wait a minute, slstor, wait ~. minute . .You ch~ged me even~g prYces ~nstead of mati~lee prices.. But Mr. Ber~ly, ou/, prices c~ange at five olclook and ires seven o I cl Qck now. SO W.HAT! ..I C~ FROM CALIFORNI~, AND IT:S ONLy FOUR 0 ICLOCK T}~qRE.. ° .And another thing -- Jack~ Jack, look ~ho~s aomlng down the street...It's ~'red Allen and Portland .... Goshj I b~venlt seen Pottle in ~% long tlme. Well llm not going to stand here and see Fred Allen .... Caue on, letls go, inside. p (Fm~ szcom)s _.~us~) Watch out, Portland, the sidewalks a~8 p~etty slippery. Don~t Wo~y, V&~. lllen, I~ve got hold of you~ arm. Gosh, look wb~t~s plzyin~ &t this rhea.ire. ?/ell ~b~t do yo~ ~ow, ~z~r~yls piob~re.°.They ~ited till they put the lights out on Brosd~y~ and then they sneaked it into to~rn. ~FHO~ O2362~3
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y 0RTIAHD : RP~D ; F OBT LaA~ : FPSD : p OBTLa}~ : ~D : ?0R2~ND : FRED : PORTLAND : #. -I~- #19 Com~ on, let:s ~o it: &~ see ~tj MZ~. Alle~ Nc~, Portland, welre r~ot on the radio ECW, SO stop calli~ me [<r. Alle~:...We~ve beer, eased omT of more hotels hha[~ way...Ar~ au~a~j who Wants to see Beo_r~F:s picture...Z~ve seen more eEte~talr~in~ ptcbaz~es tattooed Oh F~ed3 you're off the air ~low~ ~'t~ ee you k~ep o~ hati~ Jack? it's beca'ase heZs so jealous. N~;w you won't belie:-e tbls, Portland, bat w~e~ other e:~terhaip~ers become famous, Be~ny instantly t~les t~ steal their stuff, Really? Ycs~ 20~ ~emebhsr. whet± Fritz F~,eisler...Fitz Kz~els~e-~... I thou~Et %he~e was a~ "ri' iE it...Whee~ Fl, ltz...tcat~ aI~ot~er mo&th, ~ theu~b_t,..whet. Fritz .~z,els let., .Whet Fritz ~eisler,. ,I had him mixed ap ,~It~ aE old o~te~ e~er~er I used tc b~,ve...Whe~ Fritz Kreisie~ hecezne.,. Wte~ Fritz ~meisie~~ because famous~ Benny teem up ~_e violIE..,~heI% Si~tra became ~oputar~ Benny ~ock a ecliPSe in m&In~trttio:~,..and do you remember last :ear, when Jack had pneumonia? Yes. He caught it tryln8 to £mlt~te GyDsy Bose Lee...~e~:Ey:s chest is so D~z,~ew pneumonia i~d %0 set IE sideways. WeLl Rre~_, if J&ck tries to remain popula~ the~'- at least youlve ~ot to a~nit hhat he uses his ha~d. 0f codrse he u~es his head.,i{els ~ot to have somethin% to serrate his I~eck fpem his to~y. r ~onder Wh~t M~, Beony does with his old toupays. ~TH01 02362~
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FPgD E 0R T LanN~D : FReD : ML~RIEL : FFED : MURiEL: FRED -' ~t~ ~L: F~ED : [vZ_Ry: JACK: ~91Ry : JACK: ~t~RY : -!5- ~ Oh, ~bo k~ows..maybe he gives them to Gravel Gentle. Oh ~'~ed~ y0tLIre ~lwa~s plol~i~.~ om Jack..If it !smlt [iis hair Fc~ ~al] him a tightwad. NOW watt ~ minute..- ~IdrPt start tb~t ZILZKOP~ ~f~ %'~ 6 tlghtwa£s call ~en~y a tigh~-~ad., .Why Z r'©IneI::he-~ cue summe~2 whso_ J~ok w~s oct on a ~ude -~a~_ch~ he kerb h~s me~_ey ~u a wildcat~s mouth. Fra~ Buck ~s to go with hlul tf he wants to s~emd a~yl~hI~.~, At any :ate, T' PC~LI~., to shGv; yell _'~ a s~o~t, ~Ii! %~k8 yo~ izL :c Forgive m~ for ~terr1~pti-~ your ~p; ~Iss~ but --~. llke ~]wo tickets. Yes sir.,t[~t~s two ~o:l~s a~ forty ce~_ts. H~m..a ~ollar ~we~_ty per ticket to see Jack Be~:~y:s pig ~ure. But ~m~'~ ar~ s~tF-two stars ~n the pict~e; sir. %h~ sLxty-t~'o~ ~c_at BOC~ny is costltlg me two cents~. B~cther~ i~E!aticm is sure here.. ,C~e on; Eortian:=. (CRC~ST~A 3TAB~-S ~DCN~T FENCE ~ IN"~ ~ADES Dt~i~ S(F~- The Dictare~s pr~tt~ good so far~ Jack. Ub. huh. Yo~ cc~[.e o~ near bhe end of the picture, doD_~t ~o<? 7~ JACK~ ~ 0U~ T-~T ~I~OfTT AK~ ZTO-~ ~G YOt~ SCFA PBOCKl• BTR01 02362~
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JACK: Okay, but look at the review T got !~i ~he Salnt Joe Gazette...Ah, ~hey loved me in Saint Joe. MARY: Jack~ be quiet, .tb_e people who just sat dc~r_~ betiu~ us waist to see the picture...Arid stoD bobhlmz areuud. JACK: Mary, if they demur llke -- FRED: Pardot~ me, Mister. JACK: What ~c yea Waut, bud? F~D: It's kim~ of hard for me tc see the plcbure, so ~ii! yc~ p!ease do ~e a favor am~ remo~-e yeu~' he~d? JACK: Ch~ a wise guy. Jf~ho do you thi:£~ yo~Ire talkim' to? F~D: Jaokle boyz you're losluS your te~ipez". JACK: Oh,.Ot., it~s ~..WB%D ALLEN! F.q~D: Why Jack~ ~ou seem su.~iprised to see me. JACK: l am surprlse&. ,_r thought that after ycs saw yomo shadcw ca Friday ,oZg~ craW!ed bac~ into ~our hei%. FRED: You kmew, Jack~ if ~ d!do.~t bzve such ~reat respect fcr old a~e, I:~ gumch yoa in the ncs~. PCRTLAg~D : ATTA]%0%7, . k~TT H~[, ~t~ JACK: LIB_mE_N, AImZ~LN. o~ KCL- START A'TY/ZqZm;G WE~! ME~ ~ ILL SLUr_ YCU R/G~f BACK. !~.RY: ATT~CY, I{IT 2~DJ, ~ED! JACK: MArRy, IOUIRE ON ~ SIDE.~ ~i{Y: CH JACK~ JACK, I~CKI .THZS IS ~ FART CF THE PZC~ YOU iRE ~. (~10LL~ STAI~TS pIAYING "SOU~;~2JIR", FADES DC~ A~ CO~l~LrES TO ~D OF ROUTL~TE) ~TR01 02362~6
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-IT- PART i OA~ ~PZ TO S~. (~ABY CRrlS LCL~ T}W%[ FADES TO B. G, A}~D CCNT~7~S CRvT~O T}LRCt~k{ RCDT_i~) JACK: V~DA~, WILl_ YOU P VLEA. SF T~I~ T'#AT BABY ffEEP QUZET? I CANIT fIF~R THE PICTbT~E. ~J;_~ BABY! JACK: ',~ fIAT ? ~'RED: ~AT:S R~U~LP, }LrT H]]v ~II~H TA~ ~ABY, IADY~ JACK: ~ag,~ %TCL~ ~%VE ~{0 RI~}HT TO BRII~G A BABY TO TI{E T wJ~ATT{E. i" ~T~01 02362~7
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. -- • : 7"i • l ~ -I~%- IvIUR IEL : JACK: II,~AGINE A MAN C0~¢2!AINING BECAUSE AN ITSY BITSY B~y CRYES JUST ]~ECAUZE IT'S COLD AND HUNGRY AND IT'S FRlOYdl-m~D BY I~L%T A~f~JL ~TfOLYN PLAYING 0P TI~ 0z ~ %CR]ZEc~ BY I~IT ~IiN LOOI~I~G OLD ~ [0ACI%~S CL~) V~ BABYrS A GOOD BABY AND I ONLY BROUGHT HER ALONG I~CAUSE i ~AN'r~D TO GO TO ~['HE MOVi~,~ AND l'lJ TO0 ~=O}[ 0E A MO~I~IER TO IEA~qE I~ H0)IEj A~]~ ALL:A B!~BY HAS SC~ RIGfF['S i]~ ~IS WORI/Jj IT~ NLEN LII~ Y~@ ~HCI S~'AR- AL% ~HXSE FIGHTS IN Th'FATRES, IAZT ~i I T0~K ~I BA~fK mOA PICTo~E AI~79 TI~ WAS A ~6AN SITTI]~G -~ TC ~, ASD VgHEN THE BAby S%%RTED TO CRY~ HE D!DN~T ~ZA~ ,a/~DTTIu~ING, HE ~;6%S A OEI;TI/~N EIUYN IF fIE WAS 91~ R~gSBA3qD AND THE )HIX~ UIME IIM G0_N~A BRING ~ f~YS~4~ ALONG SO ~gb~N A ]~AN LTKE Y(Z7 ST,QRTS FLIRTING WI%H i~ CAiN GET UP AND P~-7{CH Y(]U RIGI{T IN q~IE NOSE. THIS IS ALL YOUR EAULT, ALLE~[, T ~AS SITTING I~E ~f~ND!.NG MY 0'¢,.~ _~USI2~ESS ENJ0~ING THE PIC2UBE (~ARY~S CLUE) ~]~ YOU Ib/] TO START ~!AEXNG CRACHE AND IIll GET EV~-~q b/ITH YOU IF IT'S ~HE LAST THING I DO, 1%HOUC.{~ WH]£~ YOU QUIT ~DIO ALL MY ,TR0t]~LES WERE 0V]{21 B~T ~C: ALL I DO IS C~3£ ~0 A SHOW AND YOU~RE ~R ACAI~ A~UD l~l ~blRNIIJG X0C :~'JLLEN, TI-H{ N~I~X'!' I~ YOU ~E~ IN ~7i b'AL I~M GOENA HAUL OFF AND GrgE YOU ALL 'U~&T~S C0~,IING TO v?U AND IIM NOT E~DDIING. ~'F~O 1 023624-8
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PORTIAND: JAOK: JACK: MP~y: JACK: -zg- #z9 YOU N30UT LOSING 3fOUR ~R~ (FREDTS CUE) SO SOON ;T~ DI]~YER, HOW BAD IT ~AS ~CR yC~IR DIC~ESTION ~[D I{0W IT UPSETS YCLI~ ~YERVONS ~fST!~Y~, 'AND YCII ~IST ~FJ~vR J:.C'<j YOUIRE NOT AS YC,ULTG AS YOU USED Y0 BEj IT ~ ~'~ I~N ~ AS IT~ S FOR~Y YF~S AGO ~n/HR~ Y0U THOUGI{~I YOU WV~E }~EAI-~-~U AFT]~R ALL YOUIRE N~ A BOY SCOU~I'. POZ~"LAND± ]l~ YOU HAI)Nn~ I¢~L~ ME COME }~f{E IN n~] FIF5< P]~\CE (PORTLA}.'~D:S GU]{) I ~$/0ULD ~%~E AVOIDED IY/{ETI~iG THIS '~/A~/K~GA~ 9,~T AND I WOULD BA%% ~-~V~mD A DOLLAR m~_- C~TS BESIDEB I~I~G ?19/ BLEOD PEESSURE DCII~[, HC¢I I OET ~PPED INTO T_~I~SE ~iI~GS, I~LL }~Yf~ ~'[OV~'~ BUT Im AIJ~AYS T0~RNS 0L~[ THAm I GET THE "#~ONSm OF IT. FR~, 9~" DON~T v0U S~LE T~IIS ONCE A[[]~ F0R AIL BY BITTI~IG HZM I~[ ~ NOSE .aArD ~A~E THAT ~£1LL S~]T HI[< UP FOR GOOD AND ]'~LL }[2VEN BE BOT~ED BY H~I AOAI3{, CY T~ 0THE~ HA/{D W~Z DCNIT YOU Sid~i~ H~¢DS AND BE ~ BECAUSE ~FHEN IT COMES BIG}IT DOWN TO IE YOU RF~LLY LIB~-- EAOH ~. ~IT A ~{IhX]TE...Z%IT A MI~YJTE...~,~AIT A ~[INL~E[ (~OlCES, VIOZLI~ .~,rD BABY iI~ STOP) I Cg]~E HERE TC S~ ~PI PICTURE A_NID.. ,NO~'I DO YON LI~ ~. Tb'-E ~IGHTS .~RE ON AND T-£E PECTL~E~ S 0~.-~Yw~...COb~ ON~ !,b~R'[$, LET:S GO. LET'S STAY A~ SEE THE NL~SRE~L. l~I~ NOT IN THE NEV~SREEL...NOW LET:S GET 0L~f OF H~E. (Ai~PiAUSE AND PIAYOFF ~]Z~IC) ~THO't 023624,9
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JACK: DCN : -20- ;j~!g ( ~Vl P~Oa IADIES ~a~FD GE~v~,~ THE RECENTLY REVISED PROGRAM BY THE OPA FOR FOOD RATIONIEG IS AC&IN IN T[dl~ SPOTLIGI~. ~ ALL I(~O,E If£~fZ RATIOKINO IS I~LCESS~Y- SI~JIPLy .... .s GL ,~T F~CH OF @S A ~l&IR SHA~RE OF TItlE 19~S mHAT ARE S?2CK~T. THE I~DS (dF OUR APAV~ED FORCES ~RE STEADIL-f (~C'¢IIIIO AND RIGH~ NO~ MORE T~aN RV~, TI~ MUS~ HA%~E TI~]]~ THI~IC-S 01~ CGLTNTRY CAN S<~PPLY. NOVf I~TS HOy~ YQII A~%3) I C~aN SUPPORT RATIO~[ING... DONt T BUY RATION~ED gOODS "~/ITHOI2L' FAyLNG HATICN 201NTS I~! FULL. REFZSm ]~S PAY ~IOEE TH~N C~IIEN(~ PRICES. iSSTRCY CA)~CET~ED ~AT]~ON Sq~Ar~. DON~ P GI~/E TH~I TO ATDZBC~Z. ,, ~r] T~I~ YOU. JASKILL BE ~ACK ~ J~ZST A MINUTE, BUT F~RS~ HERE'S ~@Z GOOD FR~ND~ F. E. BOO]~E .... F~TH01 02362~50
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.... • .r JACK: T~nks very nmlch, fellows, for inviting us here to the St. Albans Naval Hospital...Wefve enjoyed doing our program for you.. And next Sunday night, folks, we'll be broadcasting from the Glenview Naval Air Staticn, Olenview~ Illinois .... and two weeks from today weili be in good old Saint Joe... FRED: Ah~ Saint Joe.. they love me there. JACK: It's not you; it's me. ~. Goodr.lght, folks! R T F~O '! 023,5251
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BOONE : DEI~AR: SHARBUTT i HUYSDAEL: BHARHU~ T : TICKER: RUY&DAEL ~ DEL~R: 7AGK P~OGBAN ~19 ~D HE~. (SWITCHOVEE TO NE~ yORI~ FOR CLOSING C&~V~CTAL) V CLOSLNG CoN~C IAL (c~ - S0LO ~V~ICAN) It t~l~S fine tob~.ooo to m~k~ a lille o~retto. SO smoke that smoke of fine ~bacco - Lucky Strike. Yes, Lucky Strike means flr.e tobacco - the fine~, the lighter, the zlatu~!ly milder Lucky Strike tobacco. ~o smoke that smoM~ of fine tobe coo - Lucky Strike, so round, 8o flmma, so fully paoked, so free and easy on the draw. The famous tobacco auctioneers baaed on tQnight~s progl~9~a Wel~ Mr. L~ A. (Sp~ed) Biggs, of ~oldsb0ro, North 0al~llna (01{ANT - SOLD AMERZCAN) add M~~. F. E. Boone of Lexington, Kentucky (CHANT - SOLD AMERICAN)] Basil Ru~sdacl spe~clng fo~ Imoky Strike. (e&3, 2&3) IS - ~T L~ - MF2 e~Luo~ Strike means fine tobacco-- - ar~ fi1~e tobacco means ~ d~ep-6o~ s~noking enjoyment for you. So smoke tbe, t s~oko of fine tobac&~ -- Lucky Strike -- so rou~i, so f~r~a: so fully ~eked, so free and easy on the d~,w. (S~VIT~HOVER TO LDCJkTIO~ OF JACK BEN~'f SH0~7) ~L RTH01 02362~2
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RUTHRAUFF RYAN Inc. CLIENT: A~RICAN TOBACCO C0~ANY LUCICf STRIXE - L.S./~I.F.T.A~ PROGRAM: THE JACK BENNY IEOGP~[~I ADVERTISING RAD|O D|V|SION REBROADCAST: 9:30-10:OOPM,PWT ETA: KP0, K0Y0, *~.J, KHQ, KGW, E~SD, KFI. BROADCA~Xb ~W. ,~!90 DATE: ~B. Ii, 1945 N ETWOR K: ~C DEL~%R: RUYSDAEL: BOONE: TICE~M : RU~DA~: DEI~I4R: (~.L) RU~DAEL: SH~RBUTT: RUYSI~IEL: I 0F~NING N~V YORK THE JACK BENNY PROGP~bl.~ Qu~.lity of product is essentlul to continuing success. (CHiNT ~ SOLD A~RIC~N) Luc1~ Strike me~ns fine tobacco ~- so, round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and ~ on the draw.l ( 2& 3, 28;3) LZ- b~T LS - I~IFT Remember I yec.r in! year out.~ ~r Str~]<e meo.ns fine tobzceo -- so round, so fi~.., so fully ~cked, so free c.nd ea°-y on the draw! RTH01 0236253
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JACK ~-~ FROGR~ #20 /, R IGGS : E~ LV~R : F~, tobaccc mea~s ru~i~ dee~-dc~ ~mckimg e~joyment fc~ you o.. a~d ~cky Strike mea~s fine toDacc% the finer~ the llghte~ ~ e P~t~m, ally milde~ ~acky Strike ~o~acco.: Se, fc_~ ~ deep-d~ ~mckim~ e~jo~me~t~ smoke that smcke ~f -~i~ tobacco - l~cky ~trike - ~o the d~w! (~WITCEOVER TO ~CCATION OF JACK B~NY SHC~~) ATM01 023625~
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H? DON: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: -1- #20 (FTRS NOn.m) (,~FTER C(]f@~F~CIAL, ~USIC UP AND FAI~S) FROM THE GLENVITM N&VAL AIR STATION, AT GLI~I~'I, ILLINOIS...THB LUCKY STRIKE PR0~L~N..STARRING JACK BENNY •..WITH ~Ry LIVINGSTONE, PIF/L K~/tRIS, ROCK~STER, L~/qRy B~L~4ENB, 2aND "YOURS TRULy" DON WILSON. (APPL%UBE, N~/SIC UP AND FAI~$ OUT) AND N@~I, L%DIES AND ~...0N NEXT WEI~fESDAy, F~R~y FOURTE~ITH, JACK BENNY 6~R~TK$ HIS BI~TFJ~,y. (SINGS) K~PFY B~THDAy TO ME.,, HAPPY BTRTH~iY TO ~], HIPPY B!~TH~%Y, JACK BKNNY, SO DON'T I~ENCE ME ~$ ..... ~T~T ~ORGL% BR~N (Tb~t i put ~ extra) Continue, Don. AS YOU ~,LL IG~G~, S0~ETIN~S A BABy IS BORN WITH A SILVER SPOON IN ITS MOUSL .S0~ETI~LS A BABy IS BORN WI~I A BIRTH I~RK ON ITS i]~Z. That Is right. BUT TONIGHT, ~'~ BRING YOU THE ONLY B^$Y TEAT WJ~ BORN WITH % TOUP ,Y ON ITS HFAD...LND HI:RE HE IS..JACK BI~E~I.~ (APPL:USE) Th~nk you, tlmnk you, thank you...Hello a~In, this is Jack Bonny t~Ikir±g.°.And Don, I wasn;t born with a toup~y...It just b~ppened tZ~t I was $uoh a ouZ9 baby, ~hon the doctor left he pe, tted me on the head and his fL~r-llned glove came off...For the next eight Fears I wope the fingers down ovcr my fomehead for bangs..My mother -- my mother thought the thumb was a co~-lick., o no kiddi~lI. FtTHO 1 0236255
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~2~ ~'~ DON: WeZ1 Jack~ when did you f~sall~ find out that that thtz~ you were wearing on your head was ~ glove? JACK: ~.e first time i went to get a l~ir cut...The barber looked at my head and asked me if i wanted b~ir temlc o~ saddle soap ..... %n~ay, Don, you're right about cn8 thing...Next Wednss~ ~s my birthday. DON: Well Jack, welve dome a lot of kidding about your age... but seriously, h~; old are yod? JACK: Yeulre ~ight, Don....We l~ve done ~ lot of kidding abo~t it .... but v;hen a m~,n ~e~ches a certain agej therels no use denyiug it...In fact, Don, there:s a satisfaction in ~ov~t~g you bare ~eeohed tbat age in a distinguished and dignified manner. DON: ~]el! it's no wonde~ so r~ny people l~ve such deep a~m~/~t[on for yeuj J,%ck.. °lEt takes a man of high clmrecte~ to accept g~ow~g aid so gq~acefully° JACK: Thank yo~ DON: So tell me, Jack, how old ~=~e yau? JACK: _ ~Irty-slx...A/~D N~I, FELLC~S, 5~CE ~fE~R~ ~h~AOECASTINCc- DON: Walh a ~i~ute~ Jack, ~it a minute. J%C~: $omethiYlg wrong, kid? DON: All _v can say is, you certalni¥ act ~. lot clde~ than thlrty~slX. JACI~: What? DON: Why the minute it started snow~/~g, you chased all over t~n t~yln~ to b~y ~re-heated ~de~wear. JACk: NOW th~tls the most ~Idioulou~ thing I ever heard ~ In the first place there,s uo such thing as pre-heated undsrwea~. Yo~Ive gottahold it in fl~ont ~ the flreplaoe ~!~ !Iks evel~ybody else does.°.(Pre-heated underwear). °Don~ a young m~n of thirty --- 0H ~L0, ~RZ. ~TMO~ 0236256
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~Y : JACK: ~IiRY: JACK: MARy: JACK: JACK: MARY: JACK: N~Ry: JACK: MARY: JACK: MARY: -3 - k~LLO JACK~ HI XA FZ~IAES. (APPraiSE) Bay, I called for you at the hotel, Mary, but you were gone...Howld you get here? Oh I came over tn one off those Yell~v Perils. One of those Yellow Perils?.. A%q~tTs that? A Chicago taxicab. OH, --oh, 01I, OH.I .... I was a little cor2used, M~y..You see a Yellow Peril is also a training plane, and I kmew you wouldn:t be coming over in one of those. Well this may surprise you, Jack, but ~hile you were rehearsing yesterday, a hsndsome pilot took me u~ in one of those training planes. Really? Yeah....What training: Bmm...I think i kn~w what you mean. This pilot was really nice thought .he had a medal for bravery, for sha:~shootlng and for flying. Well. He also had ,~. medal for good behavior, but I made him give that hack. Oh, one of those guys, huh? .... He got you up in the airplane, and then you had to kiss him. I dldn:t have to kiss him...he was gentleman enough to open the door and offer me a parachute. 8 T ~40 "I 0236252
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JACK: MARY: DON: ~ARY: $ACK: MARY : JACK: ~Y: JAOI~: RT~01 02S625~
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JACK: ~L~RY : DON ~ACK: JACK: I~ARy: JACK: ~Y: JACK: GACK: JACK: IRVING JACk: IRVTNG: JACK: IRVING: I ~a~ born in ~.., .An~ that makes me th~y-~x! M~e~ you thi~ty-'aix? J8,c~4 how does bei~ bortl i~ W~ke~a~ m~ 7o~ thlrty-six? r~s s~npl~ ~itl~letlc.. ,fv~ last birthday wa~ in ]944, I ,~as born In Waukegau, Waukegau ha~ eig~t let~ers~ ar~d eight fro~z forty-four is thirt.~six..NOW LE~_'8 DROP IT: Ch brother t What are yo~ OE b~otheri~ ~bout? (I~[IL~ICKIUfC-) I celebrated ~y Last bi~,thday in Juz±e. Mary [ My mother was borr_ ].n September, my father ~s bor, n ~u Chicago,. ,Chicago frmm Septentber leaves ~, ar_d t~o from ,Iut~e is I'{~v~ ~o that n~ke~ ms fou~, months old. Mary 8o throw me 6ver your shou~de_~ &n@ burr ,m~,, daddy, l'm a baby. Mar~L ~,lary, there are sc~ things that ~eopl¢ just don~t -- (:KNOCK ON DOCR) Oome iE. Ye~, I~m Doctoz~ Penchel from Sai~t Joe. %~s12 ~at do you know, ,~m gonna be in Saint Joe ~ext ~eek. I k~ow..b~.t two ~ears ~go whe~ 7ou v~e ~upposed to go tbcre you ca~_celled yot,r trip b~caus~ y~/ caught ~Y~01 02362S9
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JACK: IRV m~G : JACK: JACK: IRVING: JACK: IRVING: JACK: JACK: IRVING: JACI<: DOCTOR : JACK: DOCTOR: JACK: LARRy; JACK: -6- mhatTs right, I did. Well this yaar the pecDle of S~int Joe have se~_t mc here to make sure that yo~J stay welT., .Do yo~ m~nd if I o~en your shirt? Not at all. (LOUD LONG RIP CF CLOTH) lim~. (¥A~at caeap material) Look, doctor-- Quiet...l~m ~o~_a tap your ribs with this mallet. (S~ERAL DISCCNF, EC'I~D NOTES ON }$fLOPI£nN~) (DL~!NG PL~Y~G) WAIT A MZ~UTE.. A~AYT A MI~E..DOCTOR .... DO C'!~R - (RU]S EOIA~ ENI!F~ SC~I-E OF XYI]2PHOI'~) DOCTOR ! H~]d your head ~iiI, i~,. Ben~@, hold your head still... I ~r~t to look it_to your ear. :fie!l, ok~y~ bit m~!<e it snP.ppy~ will yco? Very well ........ ~r. Benry, would you mind ho!din~ yo~ h&rd ove_~ you~ othor ear.~ .the l~t's comi~ ~, Hey, are you sure -- That ~ II be a!l.. the exsminatio~_ is o~or, goodoye ! ) !~mn...what a c~azy docto~..~n~,ire him comin~ it- and.. OK HELLO, fARHY. ( ~P PERUSE ) Say kid~ I'm going to th~o~ a little birthday party an~ you're invited. @TM01 023~260
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LARRY: JAC'~: .TACK: L~RY: JACK: MAF~Z: JACK: LARRY: LARRY: JACK: [gARY: LARRY : %JgARY: LA~y: ~ACK: lARRY: lgL&RY: JACK: ~t -7-- #20 Th&~ks, Mr. Benr~y....Ycu ~!ow my father ~elebrated his birthday yesterday. Really, Larry? How old is he~ Well he~s fifty-four, but h~ tells everybody he's forty-two. Oh. Oh. How old ar~ ~_~_~ )~. Berany? He~s twenty-three, but he tells everybog<y he's t1~rty- slx. Mary! -- (Twenty-three) Gee, Miss Livlngstone, now I'm sorry I'm twcmty-t~. Look what's gonr~ h~ppen ~o m~ in just one ye~. Don't ~,~rry about it, and lets h~ve your -- ~ay arl~r, I ~ear_z to ask yo~...How a~e you s~&rdi~g LI~ cold w~at~cer out here im Chicago? On T'm ~ite ccm~COi~ble, Miss Livingstone..thar}:s to Mr. Benry, ~ar_ks to Mr. Der~y? ye~it,, ,he ~ s i~-tin~ me "~'car his - - l~rry ! %]~.~y'~e e. little 8oo big for me around th@ ~eat but they're ~,rm. Jack, what is he talkir%z about? Nothing..Nothir~..Go ahea@ an~ si~g~ '~[d...(It's the last tlme I ever lend my pme-heated undsz~sm to s.nyb o dy ) (SEG~E INIY} LAP~UY'S ~l~Fa) ~T~01 0236261
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JACK: LARRY_: JACI<: LARRY: JACK: LARRY: JACK: lARRY: JACK: ~RY: JACK. Y~RY: JACK: PILL: -~- #~o ( 5F~OND ROUT fNE) Oh very good, swell, s,^~l!, swell...~st v~as 'Yoi Belong to my Heart/' sung by l~rry Stevens...very good, Lsriuf...~ND NOI,~L LADIES ~ND GE~ENF~$ .-- Oh say ~r. Benr~ -- Yes, kid, Did you see that ~ticle in Colliers ~m~gazine that Ls~u~ Adler ~ote? In Co!Lie~s ? Yes, Jt~s all about you and yo'dr o6-er seas trip. All about me?...Wellj I'm sorry ! didn't see it. And there's a b~ pi~iure of you in it too, lJ]r. Bemly. A picture of me? .... Say~ now that ~a ment~cr, it, I think I did sec it some~ere. Y, kmt do "you mean some~]ere...Yore're got every wall in yorr hotei room papered -~¢i~h it. I have mot. Yott have too...~ouTv~ evgr. ~ot te~ p~sted i~ the 91ev~tor shaft~ so v~e~ people ride <m ~nd dc',~m it'll look like movirg pl~tt~re, s. Now Machy -- An# ho~" you ever got 'em into the p~er room i~li },,~YY, THAT'S ENOUGH...~lyway, Larry, ~har, ks for --- (listen stop !au~ming -- you get paid for tlais show) AnywaF, Larry, tha~nks for ~tioning it...Ard d~n't for~et my birthday party. Hi Ya JAC~ON, I~LLO F~_IT~S...Let'~ STRAIGHTEN UP A~D FLY RIGII~ ~ FIT~,O~ 0236262
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JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: jACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: JACK: MARY: JACK: PHIL: 9- #2O Phil, Phil, llm glad you got here...I just invited Larry ~o n~~ birthday party, &~d I want you bo cu~c too. Hey, that ' s ri~r±~, Wedues day is yo~r birthday.. (~I~GS) I%APPY BLRTPDAY TO YCU HAPPy mIRTI~DAY ~2 YOU SO BN~G OUT THE BOTTLE, 11~ C©T THE CORKSCREW. Say~ say, Phi!, that's pretty ~ood. Yes sir...Cong~atulabior~s audma~ haDpy returns, Jacksor~ Thank s. And say look, I aiu'~ much on 5peech-makln~ ...bu~ i hope you llve to be as old as you look• Oh 7on like that ek, you llke that? .... ~y, PhiL, . .. '£~t kind cf a ~'_~ack was that~ ~ell, I was omly kiddin~, Jackson..Ym fact i got the boys in th~ orchestra to chip and buy y~a a prose~ and...Here it Is. ( P#~_L~ u~P~) PreseRt? Aw, gee, isnlt that nics?..A copy of "?FHAT ~v YOUNG BOY SIDULD KNCW"...Deluxe editkon. (~I~ISP~IKG) Eey Jackson, Jackson..(SL01~.Y) . .turn to page sJ~tee.u. ~a~e sixteen? .. Yeah..sixteen=...go ahead, turn to it. Okay. (TURNING OF PAGES OF BCOK) Gosh..this~ this book ~oesn~t mince words, does it? "~rnat does it say, Jack? Dom~t ~i~,7 w~th matches...%hat a book..~ks, Phil. Say Jackson, talkln' about you~ bi~thday, you wez'e hor~ sor~ewhe~e 8,I'OtlU~ he~e, we~er~'t y~!? P~TH01 0236263
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JACK: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: JACK: #~ao Yes sir[ Waukegan~ I'm going to invite a ]at of my friends &~Id re!&tives from there to t~ par%~..my sister Flcrensej my cousi~ Cliff Gordon, 011ie L~, Z~die T~Icott, Frark'riallin, th~ m~ycr..Then I~m gcirg Zo invite Jerome Horrison~ Julius Sip.ykin..No, I'm not goir<B to invite Julras. A~en ~ w~ut to school, he use@ 5o pull my curls. Well he couldn't do it now with a pair of tz~eze~s, ~h yeeh?,..you:d be ~urprised, sister, what's under that glove..~m<f~ay, all my old friends are goir.g to be at the par~y. Oh say ~ack -- Yes, Don. As long as Phil gave you your bJrthO~y present, l might as well g~ve you mine tee. Oh...have you got & present for me, Don? Yes~ Jack, here ~t Js ..~]I fr~ned era everything. LeL's see Jr..Well Don..nebody else in the world ~muld K~Ve ever thought Of a preze~t ~s ~:et fis ~is, l~at is it, Jack? Iris a plctt~re of }~stler's 14other smoklr~ a Luck~ 5trtke..Don, this is o~e of th~:~ nicest g~fZs thzt I~ve eve~ -- RT~401 0236264-
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JACK: ROCI~ST~R : JACK: RCCHESIER: JACK: ROCHESTer,: JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: There's the phone. I~II get it. ~LO I~. BEfOUl, ~13 I$ ROCT~ZmF~. (APPLAUSE) Oh Roc~sterj ~ere are you? I1m i~- Sa~t Joe. On Io~ distance -- say l~m glad you got i~ okay. Not exs~tly okay .... I ~ad a little financial tro~ole ~u the train. Well, you shouldn't ~ave .... :I gave yol~ the mozey for the ~rip. I k!~1, boms...but yo~ figure things a little too close. ~]T~O ] 023626S
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-12- A OCI{ES~Z{ : JACK: ' R 0C~I~S~ : JACK : R 0C~STE~q ; JACK: ROCHES~: JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: ROCh~S~2~: JACK: ROCHESTER: #20 At the station I bought a package of ~u ar~ weighed m~s~if. Ch huh. A1~ WH~ i WE%;T TO BD~ MY TiGhT ! WAS EXACTLY S~ C~TS S~ORT. Well it's your ~n fault for @end~%$ mor_ey llke ghat.. What did you de hhon? Well I got on the tmaim a,-&~,~ay...and if it b~drJ t been for the extreme k~Lr~ess of some sailors I ~'l~1-~ ~ve ~go. enough money for my far~. 'Why, did they lend it to you? NC~ ~ FADED I~. Rochester, do you mean that you started a trap g~me with some sailors? Oh ~£o~ boss, nc~ i didr/t start it..YOU S~ T~MERE ?J~tC SEVEN SAILORS STAI~II~G AR~IND ~ A CIRCLE DISCUSSI!~G EINS~EI_N~S ~Ig~ORX 0F RELA'Ir±V!TZ-- Uh ht~. Then someone droppe~ a pair dice ar~ Kinste~ wer_t AWOL. Bat, Roohester~ 7ou ~Jdm~t h~ve to get in the o=ame. I ~iow, bit someone said shoot a,r~d even I co~dm-~ t re_Puse tbat c8,]1 h,J b~ttle stations. Well the~e~s no a~e talkL~g about it a~y mo~e...How a~e thLngs i~ Sa~_t Joe? Az,e the peopSe excited aho~at my c on~? E~CITED ..... BOSS, THEY'RE pANICKY. '~at ? THEYIRE EVAOUATIN~ THIS TOWN FASTER THA~ B_~LI/{. R'FHO'~ 0236266
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j~ 4k JACK: ROCHEST~R : JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: ROC~ST~: JACK : JACK; JASI%: JACK: PHIL: -!5"" ~}20 Rochester, don' t be silly...they love me in 8~int Joe...~ lhear~ the~j~ve even got pictures of me all over to~m. Oh they b~ve~ boss, they have. Ho~ do they look? • OH THE fICTUF~ES LOaf GOOD, BUT TH~SE WORDS D~D OR ALI-~E ARE ~EFI~!'KELY UP~TTLNG. Now Rochester, i k~_ow youlre making hhat up..anyway~ I~ll see you th~,s n~xt Thursday, ~oodbye. Goodbye..,0h say hos~... Now what? i -~'~,s only kidd~n~...People here are all waltim' to see you...In fast they~rs h~re frcm all over the qountry. Phey are ? K~s sir... (SINGS) FR'3;~1 NAT(~I~,Z TO MOBILE FR0[.~ bL~}{IS TO SAINT JO~ Ah...the9 love me there., .So lom~, Rochester. Goodbye. Good old Rochester...p~ay~ Phi!. (5E~JE INTO ~YD }FJ~ER) (~Pm~SE) 'ib~t was Ho±l~:;ood Cameroon~ played by Phil H~r~_~is and h~s orchestra...Ph~l~ you~ band r_umber sour.deal especially good tor-~$nt...Is this you:t' reg~lar orchestra? No~ this is ~ hut±oh of ~usio~ns I pickod ~gp In Chicago. fgTH01 023626?
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JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHYL: JACK: JACK: JACK: DC~: MARY: JACE: JACK: p}L~L: JACK: ~ARY: f/20 OH ..... AND Nd~[, IAD~ AND ~N~ .... I got t~n at the stockyards. The stockyards? Yes I figured tf i got th6v~ there they'd bring their horn~ with Te~ .... HA P~ I~...0H ~A~L~!~, XOU CL~V~ IqID, GO BUTTON yOUR CUFF~ AND SQUtJLE YOUR LID. Say Phil, you domZt knew how lucl~ you a~e...Yeu kn~r you co~Idn~t be On any othe~ shov~ but mine with tb~t co~[ stuff. ?~qlat are you talking about...Tim ger~n~ be on the Fitch Dan~aSon tonight. The Fitch Ban~k~a~on? ~e~h~ theylre do%nI thei~ br~dcasD here in Glenvi~{, right from this stage and I~m the guest sta~. ~,tTell oc~g~athlations~ Phil..lots of luck. Lots of luck, Phil. Hey, w~t~s going on, Jack~...~{~s all the excitement. Phil's going on the Be~eagon. Oh...well~ the way Foil cong~at~xl~ted hi~, Y fiho~oht he was going on the Wate~ ~s, gou. ~ry, stop being r~dIcu~lou~. yeah. ~s to say yes2~ yet...~o~ let ~s get back to oum c~ shm~ • ..lADIES AhUD GENTL~, SINCE ~I~LE AT A NAV~L AIR 8TATI0~ TUNI~4T, FOR OUR /~.ATURE ATTRACTZON ~E WILL PRESENT A ~RA~TTC SkeTCH OF THE gEA,~ENTITLED..."BOY, WAS I $FASICE"..0R I~OU CANIT TAI~ IT WITH YOU"~ .Nc~ N~ry, ~ry~ there are onl~ men on this ship, so you can*t be in our play• Well, I want to be ~ it. ~0~ 0236268
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W JACK: ~I&RY: J&CK: MARy: JACK: PHIL: JAC~ PHIL: JACK: JACK: PHIL: JACK: pHIL: JACK: PHIL: -15- #2o I c~nTt help it, there:s no part for you. You let me be in it, or I'll tell all these fellahs that when you were in the Navy, you saluted ~ b~ber pole because it had stripes on it. I didntt salute, I just s~id hello. (~1ould Remley like that?) N~w letIs get back to sum pl~y ..... AS T~E S~2~T OP~S, I, CAPTAIN JACK MCBI2nIY, COMV~iNDING OFFICI~ OF AN AIRCRAFT C~RR~--~, AM S~NDING 0N TA53 BRIDGE OF MY SHIP, "THE U. S. S. ULYSSES S. SASSTFP~SS. " Wipe your chin. Quiet...WE ARE ON THE HIGH SFAS, ENIFI]~G SILENTLy T~0UGII ~ NI(~TP TG~ARD A SECRET DESTIN%TION. (SHORT TRANsITI0i~ Mire!C) Captain McBenny.~ What is it, L~sign }~,~rls? Well wetve been at ~es~ tv~enty-four hours n~, and Itts throe t@ open the sealed orders, i have them here...Here they are. C~ood, i~Ii open lem. (TE~IRG OF PAP~) }~mm, from Capta~m. C~rson. Yeah, this must be it. Yes...T0 CAPTAIN Mc~NY, COB~4A~]]~G 0FFIC~q 0~ "U. S. S. ULYSSES S. SASSAFEASS," SOt~.~HEP~, IN ~IE PACIFIC. What does it zay? It S~yS, LOAD SD~PLIES..MOVE FOR TO'Of0. Lc6d supplles..move fop Tokyo. RT~01 0236269 i
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JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: -:]6- #20 yes, they sent it in code..LS, MFT...}M~n, smoke slgnals. Well they can depend on us, Captain, this is the best aircraft carrier in the fleet. you said it..Say, wh~tls our longitude? Sixty-two degrees south.. Our l~tlt ude? For ty-elght degrees. And wh~tls our altltu~? Altitude? Certalnly...You ~mcw the last plane that took off? Yes... Welre still tied to it.°j~e oughta watch those things. Well Captain, here we are now. Three thousand feet over Albu@uerque: I haven't been this high since last night at the SillDuette Club. Ensign Harris, we are now entering a blackout zone..Tell the men they m~stnlt shc~ a light...THOSE ARE ORDERS. Oy 0Y, SLY: T}~%T'S AYS AYE. O}[ OH. Now men, We ~ustnlt take any chances, turn out all the lights. Why, can the enemy see us? No, but the audience can. ~rmn...hOW did that Wave get on deck?...Carry oat you~ orders, Harris, I want total darkness...Hey you..sailor.. welre in ~ blackout, put out that light. But sir~ ~ just llt a Lucky-Strike, I don't care, blaeko~t means total darkness° Well Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Luc Strike f~_~e tohacc a VPA%T~ means ATH01 02362?0
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D0~. JACK : PHIL: JACK: FI{XL : NARY : JACK: YARY : JACK: JACK: [AARY: JACK: PHIL: JACK: p . ~L. JACK: PHIL &; DON: -17- },~0 Lucky Strike mea~ fine tobacco SLUR! T~latls better..And if you Must smoke, go below deck. No no, Captain, hers too heavy..do~t send him below deck. Why nct..he isn't heavy encugh to hurt this ship. I ~low, but this will be the first flattop with a round bottom. Wn&t are you !~/~hlnz at? (lAUGHINGLY) What a ship.,~he ¢rowIs neat is full of Listen~ I~l~rpn..therels no cpoviIs l~st on this shi~. ~ell IYll lay eijht to five ~n the ~s. Kevop m~nd that, I1m your s'~perlor offlce~, salute me. Come on, salute me! Ckay. (~6%RY ~SSES JACK) 'i~'ell, well, he~e I am a~aia, thre~ thousand feat ,over Albuquerque. Hey, Ca~taln~ isc.lt the captain s~pposed to stay with the ship? Certainly, ?;ell come on down, Bub...CC~ ON DCWN, SPZASI{17~G OF ~VATER AND SHIFTS BELL) D~ATIC) New men, welre faced with a very ~ave situatio~. We're on an ~mporta~t ~issi~, add a lot depends on us. Aye aye, sir. F~ rlqo ~ 0236271
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JACK: PGgELL : (IN T Io) JACK: P~ELL : JACK : PGVELL : JACK: PCWELL: JACK: ZRVIN@: JACK: P~'IELL: ZRVIN@: PCWEIL: JACK: -18- #20 Somewhere out there is a pack of submarines, add theylre seapohi~ fOP L!8...B~t are we afraid? Of course not...hecguse o~p motto is -- LgUOH A ?IHILE, LT A SO~ BE YO[~ STYI~7, USE ~ITCH ST~4POC. DONIT DESPAIR, USE YOUR }LEAD, SAVE YOUR HAIR, USE FITCH SHA~4P00. (INTERRUPTinG) Wait a mlnute...WAIT A 14~;b~fE... WAIT A MINUTE...I'm doing a sketch here..whatls the idea of interrupting it?.,Who are you anyway? Z~m Dick Powell. (A PPIAUSE ) Well listen, Po~ell, whatls the idea of breaki~ in on my program while itm doing a play~ Well my p~o~ram ~ollows you on the air~ and welre going to broadcast from here too...Y'm on the Fitch Bsn~vagon. I DONIT CARE ±F vr~l ~ - ' _~U R~ ON ~dEWID~T BUS...I'm doln$ a broadcast here and yeulvc get rc ~ght to -- But gosh~ Jack, we've got to re~esrse our show...'ile came here all the way from Callforula. 17£LLWdE~ DC YCU TH~{K~CN,~ FR~4, A O~R HCLS? SnOtLOZaS. I DIDNIT SA~ T!~T AND BRUSH T~2 DIRT OFF YOiq~ ~" T =~ ' Cne t~c three feud, o~e two th~,ee four, testing, testin~ Cne two three fc~ -- Wait ~ minute..who~s that? That's my engineer, he~s testing the microphone. O~e two three fou~ -- (AD u s) Now cut Sh~t out, I~m ~oin~ to finish my sketch..Where wePo we? 61T~401 02362;:'2
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J- PHIL: JACK: JACK: ANDY: JACK: ANDY: JACK: DON : ANDy : JACK : DCN: JACK: ANDY: JACK: MARY: AI~Y: JACK: IRVING: -19- @20 Well, we were sailing through the mu~ky waters aboard our ~ip, Oh yes. (~A-~R 3PLASHING AND SHIP'S B3I~) (DRiVe,TIC) Now quiet, men~ and keep a sharp lookout... I know it's tmrd to see in this fog, but..~ whatls that hulkin~ shame l~omimg through the mist? Is it friend or foe? Man your battle stations, ~iI take a chance and yell...HALLO T~P~ Hyv~, BUCK. (APPmUSE) Why Andy..Andy Dev~e..w~ ape you dolng here? I~M WITH T~ FITCI ~-2~[~. C~ for heaven's 3ake..I~ok ic-fy, iI-i ra.L: to ion ri~h~ afte~ ~y.. HI V~ ANDY. WLLAb~LLC, DC[. ~uie¢, eveyybc~y~ quiet...l~m t~ylaz to do & sketch.. no~ we were o~ the high seas. C~[{ j%{RE~ ANDY, ANDY~ LCOK AT THIZ. Loe~; we wore c~ the high seas-- SAY, T~T'$ NCT ~D, DON,.LCOK A~ ~i through the mu~ywators. Hey Andy~ is tb~t stomach really al~ years? IT SURE IS..(!AUGf~] PEOPLE T'{I~¢K CHfCAGO f~S TE~ BICGEST LOOP~ BE QU~ZT, ~ILL YA? Cae two, shampoo, don~t i~ch it..Fitch it..one t~o~ shao]Doo, testing.. RTHO'I 02362P3
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JAO~: ~ARY : JACK: JACK: JACK: -20- ,',@0 NOJ CbT T.{~T OD~2,.I'~ GOING TO FIV~ISI~ THI~ PIAY I~ ITIS T_~ IY\ST TH~G I DO.., ~L'T JACI(, J,LCK, Y0'L-i\~ ONLY GOT TE~,,I SECONDS LEFT, ALL i~IGiT~ 2~';[~ fILL DO IT FAST..OF~Y M~I~, TC YOUR ~gTLI STATIONS..ANTI-AIRCRAFT, ~REIS T.~AZ Eh~Y, (mci r c,u s) O~ BOY, t~T, GOT ~'~,'C }~{DRED ~LINSS! JACKI T{CSE ~£~] FZOEC?~S, YCUII~3 STILL OVeR A LBU©~JE RQ UL, Oh ~l&rr. it.,.Weill finish the sketch in Saint Joe.,. taey love me there. (APPI~%USE A~D F~AYC'~F ~q~SIC) 1, 6~TF~O 1 0236224-
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£', n~OON~: pURDOM: RUYSDAEL: JACK ~U~Y ~II F~', ~HOGRAM ~20 (SW2ZCHOVER ~0 ~ YORK FOR CLOSING CO~¢~RClAL) V CLOSING C O~E~C Z~,L (CHA~ - 50TD A~E~ICA~ ) Mr. L~olan H. ~a~dom~ of Bpringfleld~ Ifentucky, has been an Ir~eb~ndent tobacco auctioneer fo~ thirt~-one years. ~e said: There can be ~o substlh]te for fine tobacco if you wac a real enjoyable snoke. Season after season I see Lucky Strike select the llghtez', railder tobacco. That's why I~ve smoked Luckles for over ~Ighteen years. Ir~pendmr_~ t~'caccc experts like Mr. Fu~dcm know that it takes fin~ tcoaceo to r~k~ a fine cigarette. So s~ke that smoke of fine tob~ccq - L~o~, Strike~ The famous to~accc ~uct~oneerff heard qn tonlght~s @rcgram were Mz~. F. E. Boone of Lexington~ Kentucky (CHANT - SOLD ~RIC~A~), ar~ I~r. L. A, (Speed) Riggs of Cold,hero, ~]crth C~,rolir~, (CPAI~ - SOLD ~A~RICAI~') ~T~01 02362P~
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. ~DI~ izo~. *,aM. ~.44 T AUFF RYAN RADIO DIVISION CLIENT: PROGRAM: A~RICAN TQBACCO CC~PANY LUC~X STRIKE - L.~./~.F.T.. THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM ADVERqYSHqG BEB~OADCAST : 9 : 30-i0 : 00PM ~ p'.~T STA: KPO, KOCh-0, K~J, KHQ~ KGW, NFSD, KFI. BROADCA V.#21 DATE: • ~. 18,. 1945 NETWORK: RUZSDAEL: RIGGS: RUZSDAEL: TIDK~R: RU~BI~EL: DE~: SHARBb~T : (Ex. H) RU~q~L: E~LV~kR: I 0PEN~ NEW YORK "5 C • THE JACK BENNY PBCC'RAM.~ Quality of p~od1~ch is essential to continuing success. (CHANT - SOLD A'4FAICAN) ~t~i~9 ~a~s fi~9 tobscco -- So round, so flr~, so fully packed, so free and easy on t~ d~aw.~ (2&3, 2~3) Of course : That ' s JtI Right y:u are ~. Luc~ 'Strike means fine tobacco -- so round, so fi_~n, so fully packed, so fre~ and easy on the draw: • (MO~) ~T~O'f O236276
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JACZ" BE~NY 4~ p~r PROq~ #21 SI~ARB%~f T : R IGGS : DEId¢~R : Iu t~kes fl~le Qbgecq to ~£e a flne c1.g,~z, etTe..A~d ~eme~r~ ~ck~ ~t~Ike ~c&Ds fin~ tobacco, Y~s~ first, i~t a~d ~]~vs, ~ Strike mea~l~ ~!~e t~ba~co! (CE~SIT - solo ~,~LRICAt~) rr~d~endep~t tobacco expe~ts p~e~eF_t ~t tho auctions c~n mee LUc~Z Str<<e eo~si~%entiy meiecL and buy the flr_e~L t_c, zm6htem~ the natumally mml£er LUCK~ S%rLk8 tobacco. So smoke %h8.t sY~oke of f!r_e (S!~IiTCI{0V2~ TO LOCATION 0F JACK BE~P/ PROGH~) Ft TF~O t 02362 F~p
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DCN: DON: ROCEESTER : JACK: DON: rI~7 --]---- f~_ (AFTER CC~ERCIALj ~KISIC AND FA]23S) FRC~[ T:~J~] [¢IST(]RIC CITY OF SAIIff JOSEPH~ MISSOURI..'±2 7UCF~/ STRE[~] ]~ROGI~M..STAPRZ2~G EACK BF~{NY.. ~IT~+ ~P'J[ LIVINGSTON, PI<EL TIAHRIS, ROCHESTER, IAHRE SEE]VEi~ L2ZD "YOUR~ TRULY" DON WIISOI~.~ (APPIAUSE~ ~IE UP AND FA~ES 01~) YES~ LaJD~S A~'D GE~I~ ~0IA%Y JP~I{ BENl~/ IS ~I ~gADYD JOE..~RHAPS SQVIE OF YOU ~,[Ay lEAVE FORGC~T2~[ ~T-7~ STORE BL~]IYD TH~ @~AT ~-f..So IID LIKE TO T~ YOU BACI{ ABCTJY TI{R~ ~z~¢/~3 TO JACK HE~,~/tS HOME ]iN E~TT-RLY HI-~L$..JACI[ WAS C~i~ORTABLY S2T]~]2~G IN lil~ BIG ~-a~%~i CI{A~--R~ E6L%DING H]~ SORAPBCOI<..~THII]] ROC~STI%R ?IA.S STRAI$1EIEKI~G UP T%~] HOUSE AND SING~G A EC'P%~ SCL'G OF ~ DAY. ( mUSE ) (Z2WS) ~E. ~,'m. DONE ~OLD ~:~ ~'~]EN I WAS I~ ~D~ PANTs ~T !v,'~i'~A DONE TOID ME~ S0iT AND ~1%= YOU T}~ BIC- EEE A W@+IAN S A %IO-FAC]~ A WOB,RISC~ THUG ~'~C LEAVES yOU TO S~[G E~i~E Bll]~Z IN THE NIGI~ FRC~I NATC2~Z TO MCBILE SaJ.~ floe..They lo~<ed me 9heDe! (APPIAU~E) ~S, IADIES AND 6~NTI/ggZN, TINT'S H~r iT ALL STb~TED.. AI~D NC~I T!~ Y~RS IATER, HERE i~ IS I~- ~0~.. SA~I~ JOEIS ~AVORITE ADOPI~D SOi~..JACI< H~$~.~: (APPIAUBE AND WtTSIU: FAST ~,ORNY ]~m/kRSI'O~ OF_ IIHOT T]14E, ]~I T+~ OLD TO,~b[ TONIG~" WITH ST~ID~ TRC27[BO~ FJ2[L~I{) F~THO 1 02362 PEI
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JACK: DON: JACK: JACK: DON: JACK: [X)~: JACK: DON: JACI(: DON: JACK: DON: -2- T~r~ you, t~mnk yeu..Hello again, this is Jack Bcnp@ talking..And folks, I want to tell you, this is the greatest reception I ever got in my life..no kiddlng I'm so proud, rj chest is almost out to my underwear.. Yes sir! I don't blame youj Jack..Here we are doing our program in the largest auditorit~n in to~m, and they~e even given you their home-town band for the broadcast. That's right, Don..ls it any wonder that'I'm so "nappy to be here in ~old Saint Joe. (B;~,D ~_~ZA~ Z~TO "HOT TD~E IN THZ OLD T~" WITH TROI~%O~I F II[ISH) H~U..U~Pe were ~e, Don before we were interrupted? You were just sayir~ how happy you are to be here. Oh, yes..:Jf'~t a v]eleome I got when I arrived..You should have been with me, ])on..The train pulled into a siding, tb~y sl!d ¢i~en the door, and we all ran debT_ the ramie..Herr o~ppy we were -- Jack, did you say you ran down a ~amp? yes..Ho~r [%appy ~'4e v~er~ -- Wait a c/r_ute, jack v!h__%~ ran dcwn the ramp? You and who else? Me and the ~ • Oe%~$ . • • • ,, . . low [~p~9~ WC were -- Jack, do you mean to say yo~l ar_~ived here on a cattle train? Cat.t let Pain '. Certainly..vfl~en you saw all those cows, wl%at did you tb~i~]( it was? 19TMO~ 0236229
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JACK: DON: JACK: JACK: JACK: JACK: -3- i]~21 Well~ I..@~dm~t exactly know..bu~ I cKi~ feel ti~ey were ovez,~doir~ t[~at si~re-the-r'ide busJ~uss ...Boy, were we C I'OW~Cd. But Jackj I can't 'Jr~derst~nd ~ou t~k~ng the r1!is£a~'e of gett~rzg on ~ caZtle traln..Didmr$ ~r~Fbody sto~ you? Yes~ ye~ suu~ f~esh cov$oy..he oper~d m~ shmrt~ stamped Grade "A~' OL a~y c~st a~nd be, tried ~e if~..(ai~i with thos~ sharp sticks)., .But it doesnlt c.n~tt@r how I get ~e ~or %e~ver~ s~ke~ follows~ you donlt bare to pl~y t~,t tune every t~ne I ss,y good ~Id -U (BA~ HITS 'HCT T~" W~I'H TR(~%0%~ F~IBH) !DC~ I DiK~-,f~T S~v ~,..I~D~ SA~ IT~ ~cw look~ -~e~iows~ I k~ow yo~:re glad tu se~ me, but ycu dorset ~ve %o blg~; yo~~ brains out...After all, ~e~re ~rying tc d.c S_ ~g YACK...i~O L~FERYBODY. H~-ELC~ rTA~. HCC ,~KS YOU? ( A P ~ n~.usz ) ~ T':~O 1 02~62B0
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<> JA~: JACK JACK: JACK; JACK: FrARY: JACK: DON: ?~ARY; DON: ~9%Ry; JACk: WARY: Say, sa~ Y~_~...they love ~ he~e, too, isn't that nic~~ It sure is, Jack...But ITve nevsr seena~o~m go all out for a~-~ one like ~his bo~ has gon~ fo-~ you. It sure is exc!~ing, Y~rg...Did you see Shcse big ha~z~rs all over tc~n that say.. £~ELCO~, ,TACK ~TY, THREE C~ZEERS FCR JACK hi~,q\~/, AND WE LOVE ~OU JACK ~CI... ,Did you see the~? Se~ ~hem...I ~,~-s with you In Chicago when yea ~d ~em painted. ~ary~ 5ou'r'e O~st ~a~dng that up...You knew ve~ well ihey love ~.e here...'~mat almmt that ~rade ~baS t~s glve~ in ~ ho~c~° dack~ ~,~s that ~ara,de in your honor? Certai~y i~ ~<as. T~en you ought~ he ashamed of yourself...selil-n£ hctdc~s. And ycu got ~_~s~ard ~ll o~er t~ Chief cf Police. Well~ if Ch~s<S!~epsto:~ dldn~t rotund, why aLou]d 7ou... A~yway...you krc:~, you .... Don, Dcm, ~!.at %rs you laughing at? Oh~ I was ~hir/<ir~ about Jack...he ca~.s in ~o~,vn on a cattle t rair_. Jack~ you did~! ~IJeil~ it was ~ll ~ mlstmke... ~r~ b~ the time _~ fo<~rd OUta ~e ~ere []e~ ~iz~ad~. You know.. Oh, for goodness sske, Jack, do you mean to ~a¥ you ~ode i~l ~ ce~zt!e c~r wltho~t e~ve~ k~owing it. ~tT~,01 0236217,1
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JACK: JACK: JACK: JACK: MARY: JACK: DON : JACK; JACK: JACK: L/i~Off : JACK: -5- #21 Mary, when I rlde on a t~aln I don't look around to see who's sitting ~ext to me...HO~-ever, I did get ~spiclous when I rang Tc~ the ~crte~ and he came ir~ on all fcu~s. You mes~ it ~as ~ cow? dor~'t kr~]w, bu~ i asked for m~Ik a~l llever get such quick service ir~ all my life. ~ou moat, yott gct it~ Hight tz~ bhe ¢~e, sistsr~ ~-Ighb I~I ~he sye~ Oh,., Oh..(~.! Oh, oh, f/~z-y~ ~o~'re making f~.m of ~.e. No~ Jack, I thlrk you're awfully or.he. Any onu could hays ,~de ~ha~. mistake. Certainly. Vdeli ali z~Ighb, laok~ i'm convinced that it ~as ~I! a mistake...~ut mf you had stayed with ~, you w^-i!d~t't b~ve had to r~de or~ a cat~le hrair~. fCcn~ if Itm gmr~ ride with a ioad of heef~ what's the d~--'ference w~ t-~ain it's e~i...And I ~-ish i~%rry ~,~ouid come in ~c we would stop this silly talk, HELLC, b~, B~DUf. (Ar~LAUS~) ~lell, ~rell,..lis~n to that reception, kid,.~Isn'fl tb~t a wo~erfal audie~c~ out fih~re~ Ch, it oertaiz~ly is, ly[Z', Bepaqy. ArM you ~ow wI~, l~ry?..~ve~bcdy that ca~ in here to see this show had fie give a pint of bleed. Did it help you get over your cold? RT~,O1 0236282
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• JACK: LARRY: JACK: ~RY: JACK: ~RY: LARRY: ~ARY: lARRY: JACK: lARRY: JACK: JACK: JACK: -6- #21 They didn't give it to me,they gave 4t to the Red Cross! Oh, IIm sorry, Mr. Benny. That's all right~ kid...anybody could have made that mistake. Like coming here on a cattle train. Certalnly~ Say, LaRry, have you been havlng any Dxnher~ in town? 0h, I sure have~ Miss Livlngstcr~, I've been geeing all the sights...A~ this afternoon I oven vls~ted Jesse Ja~ i ~ !louse. you did? Yes, hut ~r. ~eres ~asn't ho~e so I left. ~ok, kid, Jesse Jaces hag bee~ dead for over sixty ye&~s. He has?..Then ~by are they charging a quarter to go into his house? Because he st~i! has an F.H.A Loan on it...C~ ahead snd siD~g your song, Larry, iril take you tc Lover's Lane afterwards...and slr~ es~ecially nice in appreciation cf the way they love me here in ~ecd old Saint Joe. (~A~HITS "HOT TII~") Wait a minute, row wait a minute for heavenrs sake... for heaven's sake.. I fo~ot about them..They drive me nuts no kidding. (I,~JSIC STOPS) Sing kid. (AFPLUASE) (SEGUE INTO lARRY'S NU~) (APPIAUBE) RTH01 0236283
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JACK: JACK; ?~TARY: J A054: PTZL; P~IL: JACK: pHIL: -7- j!21 Yes 8iYee~ w~l~ wel~ well~ OaDTt dO...That w&s kayyy Stereo,s .... • .... Swaeth{:art 0i All ~" - and very good too...They ]ova you kere kid. r~"~. Bermy~s right~ larry,..Saint ace love~ every~cdy~ They sure do, I~Ks~ Livir~gstone,..It fact last week the Saint doseph News-Press printed a big pict, u~e of Frerl Alle~ on the front page and told about how ftu%uy be was when he played at the Cr~atal theatre~ Jack, ! di~-It P-<ow Fred ever played Saint Joe. Yes~ ye~ [~ aia~ M~ry.• .Alien was Dla~Lng the Crystal theat~,e~ ~nd at d~e sa~aa t~e ~he t~gs ur~der his eyes were ra~k~m_8 a persomal s:ppearance ~t the 0~ohe-~. Wh~t -- wha~ at_ acL he had•..that was the fi~ost tL-~e th~ stocb]ards ever complained...no kiddis~ you ~_o~ a~:d another thiag -- ZI ~£A FOLKS; i ,~Ii~ YOU K}~ lYE..BUT T~i5 IS .~±SSCLHI~ 50 CO,~ CN~ SHf~l ~E~ Ves~ this is !~.isso'~i, this is MlssouL~i. AW Jackson; lisr~en ~o that asn]zuse..That's what I like about ~he Zo~.th. Well thsot was ~ cute entramce~ Phil~ and b~, the way, I~ve got a little compliment ~o~ you, .Everybo61y l~ked you on the Fitch BaLdwago~ last weel~• Well thanks..ar~ you know~ Jaokson~ ~hem ~'i~ch people Were &wfu]. nice to us. YOU kr~ow after th~ broadcast they gave ~very one of my ins.siolans ~ o~se of a shampco i:o~ a p~_~esent. P, T RO 'l 02 L~ 62 ~.
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~CK: .... £ PB~L: JACK: P~II: JACK: PHIL: JACK: ?~IL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: {~,,. JACK: PHIL: N~Y:
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MARY~ JACK: IARR~: JACK: IAERy: JACK: DON: JACK: }~ARY: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: LARRy: -9- ~',~21 Since when does a n~sk ~ve bobby's pins, bobby pins? (MOCKING) Bobby's pins, bobby's pins..Mar~ that's bobby pins~ it' s nct bobby' s @ins -- they don' t belong to Bobby -- ycu know what I mean -- very funny. You know, Mr, Bermy, for an outlaw Jesse James ,~as a vet2 ~oman~ic figure, wasn't he? What did you say, L~rry. you ~ow, ~. Bermy, for an outlaw Jesse James was a very ron~ntlc figure, wash ' t he ? You're right, kid..(E~A~%TIC) JesSe James. I can just see him -~o~...holding a crowd at bay, a look of defiance on his face, a~d in each hand a smoking pis tel. THATIS RIGHT, PARD~.~, AND THEY WERE SI~OKING LUCKY sTRIKEs. Oh fo~ heaven's sake...what has Jesse James got to do with Lucky Strlkes? (A IA ~AE ~VEST) W~ll he ~as free and easy on the dra~ ~oo~ WaSh' t he, Sheriff? Look, I'm tryL~ ~o tell Lar~,y some hist~Z~cal facts about Jeese Jax~.es...You se% kid, he always carried two gu~,s, and everybody knew that Jesse James meant (WES~/~d~) Yes, and everybody k~ows that Luc~j Strike means fi~e tobacco. When you say that smile, Pardner! (IAUGHINGLY) Yes, Lucky Strike means fi~e tobacco. That:s better...Now gettln~ back to the -- Say Mr. Benny, did Jesse James really llve here? FtTHO 1 023628&
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JACK: I/~RY: JACK: PHIL; SACK : JACK: InJ~LOll : JACK : <n~w~LCH : JACK : dA<]K: JAOK: ~ifDH: -i0- j21 Zes~ I~r~y~ you saw his hou.se., .he lived r~ght here im Zaint Joe. @osh~ did <Key love ~J~a too? ~Jell i doll[ t ~@ILe~]~O~'j kid..Yo~ see~ ar<ywaT~ at f]'~sr he le& ~ very norn~l~ peaoefu! life. Uh huh. ~ut then ho got ~md and started cm a _~ampag% ard do you k~!ow why he got ~n~d? BECAUSE SJ~,]SAS WAS A DRY S~ATE. Look~ Phil~ Phil~ Tim tmyLng %o tell arty the story of bh~ --- (I,~CCK CN DOOR) 2h my goodness...CO'~ IN. (D0CR OPENS) )@. B er~ay ? ~es. i~m ~hi7 Welch~ the I~%yor of this oit<. We 11 ', (APPL~CSE) ~feli~ it cert~,~L1F is a pleasure to meet the mccoy, of good old Sa~t Joe. B" ..... UHOT ( ~-~ ~S TIME' ,~D ENDS WITH TRO~.,~O~E FINISH] AI~ RIGH~ ~E~LOWS~ ,~LL RiG/~T~ TK%T~S. v,~0UCH. , A~eil l~m pleased to meet you; ~a.~or Weich..l~m sorry I didm~ t recognize you. 'dell I ~ecegmized you ~m.~ediate!y...I saw you whet_ you pl~yed here in Vaudeville~ and I though~ you ~d s, ~THO] O2S628P
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F~ JACK: JACK: JACK; -ll- 7',L21 You did? WeTl. In fact I laughed so hard i affmos~ choked on my lollipop. (lAUGHS) Well t~tls very gooC.~ ~s,yor~ very good. ~Fm~mks, Jack~ but ~ really oame here on behalf oi the cffby to r~ke 8ou hono~arF presldent of ou~~ C1~an~Jer WeTl. Th~s is indeed an [~olloz,, .l~ve never beer, so tbmllled. ,~ T,~O ~ 0236~88
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JACK: ffROK: ~7AOK: WETCH: JACK: WELCH: JACK~ V~TCK: JACK: V,~Y_CK: J&CKt WELCH: JACK: ~rY~RY: -12- ~'~21 Say, sayj jusU look at thls.."0s~ck Ber~/, honorary presldenb of the Saint Joseph Chs~iber of Oocff~erce. ~j Amd yore:' me~bsss~ fee is a dollsr a je~r. Oh...A dollar°..a year'? Yes • But icolc~ II~l only going t$ be here a ~eek~ b.ow much will that he? .... Ir~ faatj I~rl actually going to be he~,e op.ly loud c~ys...but why c]~ibble you }~zcw. Well !½. Ber±n~, we~ve ~eve~ fi~,~ed it in wee!cS- 0h...ifell of' co~se Mayor Welch~ i dot-~b live in Saint Joe...what ~s you_~ rock-hotUom price fop non-~esldent s..~Lh? Mr° -~en'ay~ or_s dol!a~' is abso!ute~- the lowest dues S of C,,mm ~z~ce. iAIell,.(81 ~lff~[ ~AUGK)..I like to be sl~orbi~g asout those GOOd, Nei] -e~e is • ~.zr~ ce~t8~ ~&ke £~.~ vioe-presider.t, l~ s beer~ ~, ,oleo, sume, thank you. And t~mk sOh.~ M~<<cr; I~m SIs.d you d~'opDed aro-:~_d. mam~, you and good r~Ight~ Jac]c. (APPD~USE) Say Max,y~ ws~s~t it uide of the Mayor to g~ve me this card?.o.Ar~d it was worth fifty cer~bs; Icok wl~,t it sa.ys o~z i~.. 'T!,e h@ide~ of finis card is er_bit~ed to cne r~de on the ?o~g ~xpress. " F~T:,'~O'I 02362B9
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7b JACK: I~gL~Y: JACK: JACK: P~IL: JACK: JACK: JACK: JACK: -19- ~#21 What are you laugh2~_g ~t? FAI~ BUCK ~E~DZ RIDES AGA~° DorNt "ce So ~maD$. ~IIm vios~pr@si~e~ ~ow of ~i~ of COr~F~DC@. Wel! ~f you'd given ~he whole dollaz,~ you could have been pres!dent. Woll -- He~d r~t~e~ be tigYt %~an p~esident. my off±clef c~pscity as vloe~president o~ the C[~!be~ L~ of Commerce of Saint Joe...it is my hc~o~ ~. b~i~g ycu o~e of oua~ native d~ughters...a young lady w~-o ~a~p~ ~ns • to be v±slti~ here in oui~ %-,one t0~TD_. °~ very ~a~nC~S ir_ovle star~ Hiss j~r~e WF:~a~. ~l:l~nk you~ l~li~s and geut]emen: and tha~k you, Jack. It ~s really ar~ honor belrg introduced by a foil-bit vice-B.esident. You're welcome~ J~nie. ,And say~ I was pight whe~ I said yoL were boz~n ne~.~ i~i Saint Jo% wasnlt i.? 0h yes, Jack, twenty-eight years ago..A:~a jusv thir_k~ whem I was born you were just a iibtl@ sever_-year old Y~Id running ~-~cur.d Waakegan. Oh Janie, dom~t make me younge~ bl~s~ i really am~ I ~as eight at the t±~. His fathe~ was ~--r~. ~,~r_e i~ she was ~or~ it~ CL quiet, .l merely asked ~ Saint Joe. P, THO "~ 023e]290
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JACK: I,'~%q~AN : JACK: JACK: JACK: B~ARf : d AC-<: V?4]V~,$[ : JAOK: PIIIL: JACK -14- #21 Yes, Jack ~nd t~ere~ sometr4ng I o~g]it to tell you .... The pe½31e here dopNb lJ~s~ their city to he o~]!ed Saint Joe. They don~t ? Ko..You see it's like S&~i Frs~i~cisoo..t-e.F dontt like ~o be called Frisco.,Aud the people here like the=r city ~o be called Saiut Joseph}. Oh now~ Jar~ie Sai~b Joseph b:a~ Je.~tie, tl~.t will be sLlly. Silly..why? Well how would th~s ~o it_O. FEC%~ ~IPHE3 TO SA~ JOSEPH VY£S~]V~R TII~ ~Ot£ WINDS B-~bS~ -- See wb~qt ~ K~e~r_? No-sef. Nose, f? If this keeps up, i t[~ick I'll gosef. You stay here° .Ar_yvmy, J"-~r~i% ~t ~s nice t~t yo~]~e wish us in youm mome tc~vr~..Aug do ycu ~ow tb~t everybody in t;_s audieuce '~%g Be give s~ pint of %iced to see tP--~8 shc,,,~? We~l..you~ve raised your prices~ h.;.ve-~t you? ~-@The d~in: b ~ve,_ it to me.. °I mean w~ does everybody tt£~J< tl,~B?...i~ the f~rst place there isnrt a man livin~ 'M-,o can ~ske foul, thousand pi~ts. W~i~ a tIiif~@~ ~%OkBOt]~ F~a~e &lld i or.oe -- l~m ~ot talking ~cout that..Say Janie~ how ~bcut you e.nd I going ou~ for a good bime afte~ the broa@cast? We i~d fun the last time we went out tog~!ther, di~t we? RTHO'! 0236291
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JACK: JACK: UP,_,'iVL&_~I : JACK: JACK~ ,#AOK: JAOK: VJ!t~#.N: -15- ii2! Oh yes~ Ja, ck but i o.ari~h k~ov¢ ho~* to say t'~s..but to ~ve ~ good t±me youlv~ got to spewed s~te..we-'i fo~ i~s~no~j l~st t~m~ wo ~e oltt~ ~memb~i~ ~b~t b&~d, ~th tb~e ju!ke bex? _~othir_E ~h~p~er_e~..I put my mickal i~to that ju~¢e ~cx like evel~y~ody else di~. t~ol~ ar_~ yclli~ ~TH_~ MUSIC Cor~$ TO YCU TF~OC~ TI~ CUq~ESY Or JAC~ ~If1~.~ ~'ST~ OF ST~..SOPOZEN~ p~DTO~ .~D T~C~_ST• ?_0~DCG SA~ JOC FOR A D~". ',~ell~ I just o._,~ tluat fo~ a gag~ ~hat w~s all. S~£ Jac!~ Z just b~per_~d to th±~-!~ of s~metl~!tg..I~z~eh~ Fou ~D Miss ~lT~rmar ±~ ti~t plCtLtre "Holl~'ood Canteer~r? ~i-e ~:~otur~ E ~t~ted bo ~3o a. ffove scene with jou~ so~ i ~ooke to the ~iz~ctoz,. ~el~ ~ ~ve ~ !itt_e cor~essmom to, ~rake to% i s~oi~ to c~,~ first. Oi~ oh. Os~Dh: o~'~. You i~_o~ J&c~ ~ apc~ar~d i~ ray lash two plct'~z'cs ~!th ~e!l..beimg big and strong ism~t eve~jtl~i~G, ~'~T~O'I 0236292
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..7 JACK: JACK: JA~=<: VY~WAN : ~f~WAN : JACK~ aXCK: JACI{: JACK: ROCHE$TZR : JACK: ROCHES~: JACK: ROCHESTER: So whab..,bea~ty's only skin deep. And he:s so younG. Well..l ~ lots of people ~ho prefer the more mature type. But Jack Carson is so f~. JAN!E, DoNtT ~TCE ?~E OUT....And ~f you want to kn~ something, in my mew pfctume, my leading lady is Alexis Smith,..Cosh, she~s so tall and stately. Yes, i ~ow, Jack, ~nd i heard about you~ accident. VIhen you were doing your love scene with Alexis. Accident?~ ~ J~b~t happened Jack? He fell off his box while he was kissin~ her? I dtdnPt fall, she pushed me.. ,An~y, Janie, iZll bet you and I ~ill he in a picture sc~ day, because I'm going to -- (S0Oq~D: rIIC~ RZ~GS) Oh ~d~ere:s the pheme...Exc~se me, Jhnie...don ~t forget, after the show we~±l all go o~t together ~nd -- (SOD}¢D: PHONE R~iC~ AC~T) (SODND: CLICK 0~ RECE~) Hello. I~LLO ~__.. BEN~D/_, ~HIZ IS ROCH~TIIR. Hello, Ro~ester, where are you ¢allimg fro~...n~g hotel roolu9 Well l'm im the hotel, bat I'm met im your room~..~'m outside inthe hall. VYaat are you doing o~t in the hall? You know that suit you wore onfne cattle tra"~? 0236293
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7¸ JACK: ROC~TER: ~rA6~K: ROC!~;STER : JACK: ROC}~]%T~: JACK: ROOtlESS: JACI(: ROCHESTER : JACK: RCCHESTER : JACK: RGCIiEST~R : JACK: ROCIF~STER : JAC~. R(]CH]~STIIR : .&y- ;, 41 Yes WELL I!M WAITI],N FOR THE DfYf CLFAN~ TO CO~£E AI, D DR%G IT OCT C_~ TIM ROOM° B~t Rooheste~2 ! thought he was going to be ~here this momming to pick up the ~ Btl J.b ~ Oh he was, boss...A}rD l~IS T~ FIRST T]IV~ A ]DP?f CI~%~ Eg~mR CALKRD NOR A SU~ AND DIDN~ i{A~ TO ~&~ ~,P~E IS ST. Oh, then he picked l@ m~ suit? u-~T A LONG HOOK! No~ HE W~NT BACK TO ~" A long hook...Rochester, does ~g suit smell tl~t bad? SIvIErL BAD..! OPteD A W~ITDQI AND iT gI~ $PR~?G BACK m~ S,l!~ i:;nrt as b~d as t~t...And if t~,~e cleaner doesn't come back, you brush it up yo~rsel~ OIly, AND SAY BOBS, YOU gNCW ~I£~T BIG DA}~ Ol~2SIDE C~ ~2~ HO~f~L !'AU~ 2"0b~ 2ICITffRE ON IT? Y@S. VN~L B~O~£ CA~,~ ALONQ WIC'}[ A $ROT~TH~ A][0 GATE X0U A BAD CASE O~i' I~,~tS7~8. What?...you mean they shot holes in my fe.ee? YEAH, YOU GOT T~ 0~Y PACE ~ TO;~N ~7~.T CAN Si~T FLOUR.~ Rochester, Z travelled fsu~ thousand miles to get to Saint Joe...And shooting or no shooting i%~s your job to ksep those b~nners u@ theme. OH Z058, ~@ T~% WFJgIA LOVE yOU, ~T IEM..,B~A LET;B I£0T PORCE IT ON O0~L~S. Rooheste~, I~m not forctn_g m~self on ~m...~ey invited me %o 6ome here of thetv o~n free will. I KN]~'I FP~] WAg IN Tl~tE SOME PLACE.
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JACK : R OCHES ~ : JACK: R OOHES TE~ : JACK: JACK: JACK: ROC}~STER: Look, ~ow look~ Poohoste>, I want you to -- HOI~ IT A MI~TL~IE,~, BOSS. , .THE, CLFAN~R J~CST CAME 2ACI(~ ~%ND EE~$ FT~HZN~ FOR YOUR SUIT WIT][ ~T LCNG HOOK. rlg~t ~ S good. SO N@~ I GUESS Tmnf~Ry!E{I~G'LL .... Oh oh. What's the matter? TI{E SUIT (]RABB;~D -~ HOOK, PiC~D UP T={E CT~ A},~D IT'S RDD~' D@~[ T~ HALL ~Ji~II HI(~! SO~ RIDLCTLOUS, DOESN:T IT? It certai~ly does...Goodbye. goodbje. (t.PPmugs) JACK: Doggone, if i find...cuffs on my hamDL~ger, 1111 know where m@ suit went...Play; Phil. Go e.head. (APPIAt~oE AND PLAYOFF MUSIC) ~9 T NO '! 023629~
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JA~: 0ATJ PLUG Ladies ~md gsntlemen...s,s ~he casualty lists pour in from the European ~var fronts, ~Je mt hone are DuttiIlg bohir_d us all thoughts of ~n eaa7 viotory~ •. ~lon comes the struggle in the Pacific, and our top military authorities say it will reouire another ~-ea~ s,~d a half to t~1o Fears to lick Japan after -~e beat Ce, z~a~ny...So to yo~ ,~nd no, all this mean~ only one thi~g.,,Al!-o~t sup~o~,t of our £igJ~ting men, In othe~ wo~ds..,s~ay on that wartime job until released... keep buyimg more and mo~e war bonds and hold on to them,, keep ~upporting ~ll home-f~ont activities and observing ~',~i r~a~, t~e re~ulatior~. ; ~d vllth it ~,Ii, write oncou~aging letters to "him" over therej so he~l! ~m~ ~ ~itsd ~tion st~ds behind him.. ,thar-k you; DON: Jack will be ~ck in just a minute, but :~irst here ia my good frieud, L, A. (Bpeed) Riggs. ~FMO'I 0236296
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RIGGS: RD~gSDAEL: S~%RBb~T: DET~vP~R: RDYSDAEL: RUYSDAEL: JACK BE~'iY P RCGP~'d< '}2! (SWiTCHC~U~R TO ~'~ YCRI~ FOR CLOSING COI4V~ROEaL) (CHANT - SOID Ar,CRICAN) Smoke that smoke of fine tobacco - Luc~ Str~mei For Lucky Strike mear~s fine tobacco - the fir_er~ the lighter, t~e ~.tu~ally mzl~er Luo~r Strike tobacco~ And th~s f~ne Luc!~j Strike tobacco mear~ re,i, deep-dovln ~mokirg emjoyment for you{ So smoke that smoZe of fir_e tobacco - Luci~ Strike ~ so ~oun~, so t'i~m~ ~o ~uily C~,c<ed, so frce a~d easy T~ famous tobacco auotioneors heard on to~igbt~B prog~ala v~e~e ~. L. A. (Speed) R~ggs~ of Goi~sboro, Nor~ Carolina, (CP~ - SOID At~.~R!CAN) an~ blr. F. E. Boo~.e, of Lezir_gtor, Kentuck:~ (C~ANT - SO~D A~,~RTCA~). And this is Basil Ruysdael sgeak~g, [qFq~ LS - bfi~T Make no mistake, mo_ a cigarette it's t~e tobacco tl~at co~&t8, SO 8[~oke that sr~oke of f~9 tobacco - L:.cky Strike~. (SWITCIdOVER 90 DSCAmTOIi OF ,JACK BC]I>.W S]{O;d ~OR ~'iO} OFF) R 1- NO 1 0236292
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JACK: ROC~TZR : It T&G ~,-21 Well, folks, our pleasant visit in So, int Joe Is Just about over, and welve certainly enjoyed every minute of it., .And I want to thank ~ll you wonderful people here for giving us such a swell receptlon... Itm sor~J I havenlt time to mention the names of all those who have been so nioo to us,.0But you see, Saint Joe has a population of seventy-f lye thoussnd, seven hundred ~nd eleven...so you }cacw what I mean... Next week we Ill be in Colorado...Wedsesday night at the Fort Logan Hospital, Thursday - Peterson Field, Colorado Springs and Friday night we'll see you boys at Lowery Field...and next Sunday we Ill be brcedcasting for military personnel at Fitzslumuons General Hospital in Denver,.Wet11 see you then. Good night, everybody, My mama d~ne told me When I was in ~ee ~nts My msa~ done told me son .... I~1 "1" PIO 1 02S529B
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RUTHRAUFF RYAN Inc. ADVERTISING { RADIO DIVISION ~BRO_~CAST: 9:30-10:OOPX, PWT STA: KPO~ KOI~[G~ '<~J~ KHq~ KGW~ I~SD, KTI. CLIENT: 8ROADCAST3:RD. ~V. #a2 DATE: FEB. 25, 1945 N~ PROGRAM: NETWORK: A~,~ERICAN TCPACCO C0~Ah~ LUCI~ bTRIKE - L.S.~.F.T. THE JACK ~NNY PRCGRAM DEI~R : RUYBDA~'L: BOONE: RUYSDAEL: TICKER: ROYS~AEL: S}~BLT T : (m, K) RUYSDAEL~ DEI~AR: 8~RBL~f T : I OPENING h~ YORK THE JACK BENNY PROGRAM: .,= ~_ Qu~llty of product is esssnti~l to continuing success. (Cm~ - SOLD AfrICAN) L~uc~ Str~ke r~e~us f~ne tobacco - so rotund, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the d~aw.r 18_ - M~T Today! To~orrc~~, A~ always Lu~ 3tr~ mea~.s fine tobacco - so round, ~o fix~n, ~o -~clly packed, so free a~i easy on the dr&w.~ ( ~ORE ) 0236299
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JACK ~E ~,~S RUYSDAgL : RIGGS : I:~ a ci~s, rebte~ it's the tobacco tl~t couuts. Ar~d~ Luc~ Stri~e regals fi,me tob~c¢o~ Yas~ first~ the fi~r~ t~e £ig~ter~ t!1~ ~atu~aily milder Luc~y Strike tc~ca~cc. Sc~ for feal~ deep£~c~I~
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w," JACK: JACK: ~CK: D~: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: (FIRST ROUTI~[2 ) (AFTZ~R CC~ROIAL, MUSIC UP A~UD FADJS WAY D~) BROADCASTING V0R T~ MILITARY PERSONEEL AT FITZS~4C~I~ HOSPITAL /}7 DZ}~R, COL01~DO. ,THE LUCKY STRIKE PRCG_WAM.. STARRI~G OC~{ WILSCE..WI~ MARY LIVI~IGSTONE, PI~L ~ -~RIS, RCC}~STER, IAF2X S_~EVENS, AND "YOURS TRLqX~ JACK BZ_D~'. (APPLAUSE, MUSIC UP AND FADES OUT) AND NOW, IADIIS ?a~ G~TL~*. .IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEAS%T~Z TO I[~TRCDUCE A MA~7 W~f0SE VOIOZ IS F~4~ILIAR TC MILLIONS..A ~A~f WHC~ PERSONAL~Y~/ AND CHAF~I [~AS CAFq~VATED T~ LISTENING AUD ~NCE 0F AMERICA..A ~ii WHOSE GOCD ITO%~OR A3?D CONTAGIOUS IA-~HT~R HAS BRCL~HT SL~SH~{E A2~0 ~APF~f2SS INT0 HC~ES ~RC~ COAST TO CC,\ST.. TY~ STAR C~ T~ ~CC~ STRI~ ~RO~..DON ':;I~0N: i~nm. Thank you, thavf< yc~..a~*d hello agalc, this Is Den Wilsor_ ~alkic~..and Jack, I want to thank you very muc~ for i~troducin~ ~e as the star. ,2~RC~TIC) You're Welcome, you're welcome..It~s the last time I'll ever play ~la e~ny with ¥Q~.~...And such silly stakes. Well it's your c~u fault, yo~ Won't play for money. All right, I lost and I h~d to lnt~,oduce you...S~t Den, why ~re you so ar~ious to l&~ the star of the show tcnlgat ? Well Jack, it's a ~tter of pPide...Yo~ see~ we:re broadcastir-g from Denver, Colorado, ar-d Denver happens to be_m~, ~TH01 0236301
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3¸ JACK: JACK: DON : JACK: DON : JACK: DCN : JACK: DO~: : JACK: DeN : JACK: D~: JACK: DON: JACK: -2- ,}q2 Oh, ~!..A~el! Don, you should h~ve told me..Oo~e on, fellows, letJs give him another ha~d. ~?ell well well..So you were Dora right here in Denv~:~, eh DOc? T~t's right, Jack, Well you've Eene a loa~ Way since t~ea..l~ll bet year folks are very Dread of yea beia~ a b£g radio aaaoaacer. t~ell fraoAly, Jack, they're a little disappointed. Diseppolated ? Yes..when Z ~:as born, my fetter ~heught I was goi~ to be a jockey. Oh for heaveals sake, Den, a jockey ealy weighs aho~t ~Inet y-seven pDunds. Well t~mtls exactly w~at I wei~ed whec~ I was bcr~. Oh, yee~ yes, i should have knowc..IIll bet your besslnet was tee only one equipped ~Ith a block and tackle° .~;~Jhat a baby..The block and tackle must ~ave come in har~dy for talc~ powder cperatlons..huh, Don? Jack, you can ki~ me all you want to, bu~ I ~'ae t~e cutest caby ~05 ever s&w, I csn Ime~ine. Yes sir~. Here's a picture of me when I Was ei~hz moat ~s old. Letls see that, Don...Well fill be darned..th~t is cute. There you are, riding on your father's back. NO, Jack, thetis my father r£dtn~ ca my hock. Oh yes yes, ~ ~ot m~xed ~p bee~use his feet were danEling, As~way, Do~, it must make ~ou ver~ hsp~y to be back ia yosr home tc~Ja. And to show you that -- ~gT,~O~ 0236302
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............ ] ........... N'ARY: JACK: JACK: JACK: JACK: 0ACK: ~V~RY: ~ACK: DC~[; }~&RY : DOB: J~OK: I~<RY : JACK: K~RY: .JACK: DO~{: ~Llf) ~TACK~ HI YA~ ~fiLIAII3~ 0H :~LLO ~ASY. (APPm. s ') Yes si~. Wel1 ~.~pT~ ~ve DOVeV seen yo~ lookio~ so s~-eet..And bhat twc-plooe oLttfit 7ou~re weariug..Itls terr~flc, Wel7 thar_ks~ Jack~ I'm ~lad you liko it. ~U k~ow the skirt is matte of P-y!oa z'r.o:rL 8~ ~,rach~te, Th6 sklrt~ ~is r~de oat of nylon frcm a ~,rao~ate ? Want aboa% v!}e jumper? Oh he ~ot ~way.~ di~pIt mee, r~ b{~%s. An~mm,y~ that's a cute Idea, m~kinZ a ski~t,.ao "~eally~ It's cute ~klng a sklr~ o~u of an old par~,chlzte..-Tt looks so--Say, ~%%ry, what's that sbri:%S haa~;ir~ dowr_ the sidb? Th~t~s 6ke tiptoed and doo_~t you ~A touch it,~ Oh ~.. oWeil sr2~y; you look mice...Say ~'~ary; dc you kr_ow what I just found out?..Denver is Dom~s hcme scv,'m. :fc~t:s ~'i~{ht~ 'la~?f~ i wae boz~ here. Oh yo~ aid, 5,!ar¥? Well t[~t was very nice of you. It ce~taimly was, .!et:s b.ear it, Well~. TO KOU, D(I{ WI~SON~ OL\{ Ag~0LDJCER~ WE L0~]E YGU ALL~ YES _V~qy POUND-SIR. FROM THN k~cNr CR NROPI Wr~ SO ROL~D, S0 FI.~, SO FULLy PACIQED. $ay~ tb~,tls cute. £THO'I 0236303
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.... I~EDRATE ~{!S 0P~AT 9TTZNt~ WEJLL i[%-v~ A P~CITY IN A TZ~T, -¢C<[TI£, GET A 0A~, WIT}{ ALL T~ TRZ'$[~IZ FRC~< THE BDY% 2IBP~E AT FITz'S:~&ONS. $'ACK: Oood~ ITm hEngm~. [~hRY: $0 CONGRA~_ATIONS ~0 YCU~ I<IDDO; FOR ~ETWO BO~RII iN COLORZD0. JACK: _C,9_~,,~RI_DC.~..T~T DCI, f ET BLEND. ~&Rv: ITIS TOO TA~ NG~J~ %~IS IS 'SE~ END..oAPPL%USE (A~PL&USE) JACK; ~z'y..I~arS~ t~at ,,~ss really clever..Am@ Dora, i dca~t wamt to r~mke you feel bad im your home tewr_j but the~ tbi~k ~ lot of me b-er~ too..Iu f~ot~ D~ver took a li~t=e hi~t f~em 2~.Ir_t Joe. ~ARY: INlet do you meam~ J~ck? JhCK: ~mt do Z me~n.~ . .l~m ta!kin~ shout ~W welcome to P~nver. Didn't you hotice 9,E~thi~g whei~ ~e drove th-eou~h the streets from the st~tiom to the hotel? Y~qY: ~e~l~ ~ll i moticed was that i~ was smowin@. JACK: ~ ..Well hcv~ do ~o~ llke that..The Cb_~mber o~ OcmmePce told me i= ws, s comfettio.(~]~y do I fall fo~ those thi[~s..i had to fl]] un my pockets ~ith i~ "~t). Bu~ coi~f~tti oz' ne oonfetti~ I l~k~ Deu~er..Yes, remember pla,yi~ the Orpb_eq~ Theatre t~,leuty 7fe~.~s ~.~o., l Diayed [~e-~e oae ,~eek,.~md ~bea v l~d to leave there ~e~e tea~s im my eFes.. (I '~,is~± the ~o!~ce deD~-~tme{:t ~'ou.ld stop usiug ta~t st~ffo.yea~ tweaty years a@o.) ~ ]',~0 '1 0236304,.
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LZ Z--~----L--i~-L.~,__ZL Z L . LL:Z Z_ L . 1 Z;LL ____ L JACK~ JACK: NEL2ON~ JACK: JACK; ~I~ 0N : JACK: JACI¢: JACK: I~i$ 0N: JACK~ -5- !2~ Mary...I wa~ ~,~st ~emi~.iscl~g, that~ s all. __C~00K 0~ DOOR) Nothing~ Co~e in. DOOR O ~ ) ~e8, '~1y u~me is ~orv~ Van Dyke~ anal 11~ from Sai-~t Joe~ ~#issou~i. Well .... T was in ~a~t Joe last .~gek. ~at~s why l!m here...Thc people of tha~ fai~ city nave voted to p~ace a sbaL~ of you i~ o~~ public park. A statue of me?...Vlell gee, this is an ho~o~... A'~e~'e ¢]o • have to go to pose ±'or this s~atue? You QonI t have to go ~_yplace...!hu the sculptor, amd i~m goLag to matte ft rif~t here. But look, l~m on ~he ai-~ -novi~ you just can:t make a statue 0=' me ~,2zen -- Oh ~-es I can...k~ B0vS; RRI~G I'~ ~f~T ChUmP OF Ci~ LooI~, ~'I2, Van Dyz~e~ ~hy c~t we do ~h~s aft;e2 [,he -- (SOU~: ~fASS~#] R0~ DROPS 0N FLOOR) hool:~ !(I-. Van l~#ke~ you can't leave that clt~ap o£ clay heq~e...D.O~. Why Cal:).1 t '~le -- -~ow ~4~. Ber~-y, l:m yead~r to stab"t...If you'll just hold i~ll te~e one lo~x at you...arzd o~.e look at ¢hi~ clt~up of...Say~ this isu~t goi~ to need much chan~i~ after all, ~TNO'I 02363OS
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JACK: NYJ~La@N: JACK: JACK: L~RRY: JACK: IARtV£: lARRY: JACK: ~RRY: YARY: JACK: ~7: JACK: JACK: <ARRY : JAC~: /22 Now [/@. Va~ i~rk% please,f >~ow hold still~ dom~t move, ~his~ll only take a few reeves, W~.it a minute, ~et me see that..Look, ~@. Van Dyke~ jou Jf~aa~_ tO Sa~ ¥0~120 ~Oi~ tO make a statue of me out cA this -- STOP FING~,iG ~vff CLAY[ I wasn't f~m~erir-g it..Nc~, if you~]l wait till ~ show is o~Jer~ if]i be o~?" too "c~poTf to -- 01{ I~LL0 LARIat_'. (APPr~USE) Say ~]r, ber~y~ w~at~s that man doLr_g ove~, there? ~i¢i?..0h Le~s me/~!~S a statue of me. A statue of Lou? .Just l~e George W~-sh~m~gton and Abraham i,i~co~n ! Ye~ S~r~ Ge®~ Mr. Bevy, wDa~ ~id ~_9~! do? ~o ~ou~d a way to go T~'O~ ~itzs-~ons to Donve~? in twelve minutes. Ma>y~. A~d that ~clufles a shor~ s~op-ove~ at the Yucca Club. Ma~,y! An@ if you stos thez~e, who war_Is ~az~y, tha~Is e~ou~h...IVo~ Larry~ a~<ious to hear you s~g a so_ng~ O~ay. Ch ~t~. Bermsr -- Wait a minute, La_~ry....What to go to U~env~r an~j~ay? 5he bo~s ~i~ ale ~o letts havo it. is it r~ow~ Mr. Ya~ D~ke? ~T:401 0236306
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~v ~L6OT,T: JA@K: JACK: -A FtRY : aACK: -7- p22 T~ra starting on you~? head fipst..Wouqcl 7you mJ~d c;omblm~ your hair? My ~a%~ is cd,abed. t]ISfT FOR KVAV8~!:8 SAIC~ b[[~S IT i~, i CAK~ STA}39 r~ TkD~, ~ WAY° ,r =.. Loo_c., .Loo~ ilve wo_~rz it ~h,_s way fo~ flfty--_tb'l£~!~- yeaps, and IEm not going to change now...I~%ryy, go ahead ar,_d si~mS, ~,.i]l you? Yes si~, (HrGu...if that statue doesn't have muso]es on it, the~eTs soim~ to be trooble). (SEgL~ !WTO TAR~-'8 ~J~.~) RTH01 0236307
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(SECOND ROUTI~ ) -@- mha% was. , .~bat wag "I~Z Me Love You Tonight;~ 7 ARI:{Y : JACK: LARRy: JACK: T~RRy: JACK: ~EL$ ON : JACK: NP, L8 ON : JACK: If ~SON : JACK: NEISON: JACK: s~ by Laml7 8tevens~ and very good~ kid..By t~e way~ La'~rv~ have you ~eeD a~y of fine sights a~ot~d L~nver? ,, .You l~ow~ Buffa]o B ill:s to~4o~ oi~ 21keSs ~%ak? Oh yes...l was up on Pike~s Peak yesterday. ~eah~ and you ~,OW sometbing~ Mz'. Benny?...~o~n i got up om hhe top, T COUld hardly get o4T breath. Well, certaL~ly...Say~ you see, klm, that's on acco~ of the hltltuue. It ib?...Golly, ± thou~ it was %eoause I ran all t2e way up, Wel±.. ,~a%~ s !ogi¢81. Oh fop bsaven: s scdce...Ar.er~~t you f'_~ished with that statue ~,et? Not quite...lrm stapt~ tO c'~ise~ out yo~u~ legs now.,. So would you ~iP-d sov~tting down a little add holdS-~ Tou~~ legs ap~=~t? ~bt tbatla such-- 5bat;s s~oh a :idict!o_m pose. IA®on yo<.~ e all aloms, ~es...~ut iNa cuttit~,' it thAs way so ~~ we eve--. ~k~d an empty horse we can slide him u~lde"~ yOU. NOV~' look -- How ~ait ~ ~lJililte...~n the first place you're ~aki:l~ tl%e legs out of pie@point,on...],@ok right bm~,e... );~ l~aees apen't -- STOP ~iNGERD~G MY CIAY! Okay, okay.,.l:m sorry I let you start the --
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PHIL: PHIT~ : • JACK: F~iL : ~TAGK: DON: PH~: ~RY: JACK: PHIL: JAOK: P}IZL : JACI~: -9- p22 HI X& BOYS AND GIRI~, GET R~ITE TO L-AP WITH JOY... H~PE C01~A ~'~S. H%RRIS'S CURLy ~DL~DED BCE-~ (AD L~ BY K%~RIS AND IT ~NTT~d BE CT-&',%~'M) And I~m ~L ble~]de too -- it's ~tural lIll bP~ve you l~ti~"~. (APPraiSE) Hey gacksor~, who~s tl~,t guy st~ndimg over ~here ~l the ~,hite co~t and thu %el~et? Ch he c~e here from SE~/nt Jo% hels ~ sculptor. A s cul~tor...W}mut t s he doin ~, givi'q ~ ~ou scu~j~ tre~tmeuts? }5~ ~ HA,~.OH H~HRTS~ I¢OJ THIS M0~2~¢ A~ }[%8 bB~RP~2]ZD EODE WIT? }~lo~nt ~,in Air? Why certe, inly, J~,ck...Yea K~ow !~,u-qez,~s one of the hi~est titles ~ the wo~.id. T!z~t ~s r)LShb, gs, ckson.._~le r~Lmute we got here my nose started bleedlnS. ~{y uose bicd a little ~oo. @0% mine did too. ~% ip, ha..w~,t a bunch of sissies. Nothirlg happened to' my nose when ! got he~o, yeah I !alow...B~it Jrle drop of you~ bleed forced Ltself to the snrface~ Por-~iod s~round~ s~w it wasn't be~ug followed~ so, rlg ~aro ohoru.ses of "TWm, lk ~loue" ard crawled bqck in, Oh stop with those ~tgs. -- was only k!ddin~ you. live learned a lot on this t~!o.. ~-o~.ve~l~m ~ su~e is educatiop~l. I can in~gine how much it ~ust h~v,s h~iped you. £T~01 0236309
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-10- ~t- pHIL: J~CK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: ~ACK: I{~]LS0h: JACK: JA C~: PIIP~: MARY: JACK: hTiLS 0N : J\CK: PHIL: MARy: ~']ell it hs~s .... For Insts~nce~ today 7 seen the Co]ore, do River ar_d gee, Jackson, it's interestlng..-t f!~As a]ong and it comes to a b~unch of ds~m~, and s~teu, tb~t it fg~ws lute a big reservoip..and cor_fident~,ll~, Je~ckson, you want to know sPmeth~ng? What? (Ai~ZFD) PLOpI~ L~_~]~ T~%T STDg~: ~ell i~il, this m~y s~aze you, but do you !ca~ tl~t there are nil!ions of people ~m thds cou_ntr~, who drtmk nothing but wate~? Well h~ do you l~e tb~t..s,nd they doubt even adve~tise the s Luff.I Look~ look, Phil--- On I~. Bermy -- N~ wh~t? Weald yo~ !can !t:c ?o~ P~ng~kerchiof, ~o~e statugs nose is bi~eding. N~[ cut t~m,t out..Everybod~ ~x~,s to be s~ c ms@ian here. gc:y Phil, did yu !~±c~ that tho~e used to be ~ fs-mo~s restc~tec~t he_~e ~n ~ver c~ll~d the Sil~er Dcllar? floo~ was i-nlc~Id ~ith silver de!]s.r~..and the walls Oh.. ,Oh. AWD O~ ~ ~CK WI %¥~T2, AI,U9 CHIS~AL' Here..I only wanted to scratch 1-.W b~ok with it. ~m¥ Livy~ how come ~;ou. !~±~ so m~oh ~,bout L~nver? 01b Don told t~c...YoE 1<mG~ he was born here, RT'¢fO'~ 0236310
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PI[TL: JACK: D0}! : ~%CK: DON: $ACK: DON: JACK: DON: J%CK: DON: JACK: JACK: Wilson...bcm~?...][ thought his folks won h~l in e, i~,undry ~$- fle. Phiij donst be so s_~%rt ~,;ill F~ ..... Uell you gL~ys cs, n kid ~iI you ws, nt to, but I we, s e, pretty cute ~by, ~nd I w,%s srmmt too.., bJhy i started ts, lking ~hen I ~s,s five months old. You ~-ere ~iking at five months? Certainly...I used to look up at r~f motherrs eyes and se,y De, D6. oDa D~ De~...De r~..._D~ p~, ~. Da De~..Dc~ L~ I~.. ,wb~t were you ss,y~ng? (BAB~I Tqll{) ~ .... :~ ~e~s .Fro ~f T~ree. z,1%~ ,ss..~% ~f %'Tee?., .%nd your ~4other...~ ou.~ mothez, knei~ wh~%t tl~zt me8nt? ~es... (B%Bz) Uuc~j St~,~iks me~ns fine ~obaoco., (B%B_v W<cky? (~BY) yeS..so wound and ~ ~' ~ ~ oo _~_±m 8,r~d so £~'0o mud easy cn the d~aw. ,,~ell Don, T~m s~e tl~%t I s.nd uy sponsor ag~,ee tb~qt y:< We'~ a very s:~mt ]mzhy, snd t~ke youm fin~er out tf 5,ou~~ mouth., .I,[~" ~hi!~ let's !m,ve e, band n~mb~' before -- J~st s minute: just a minute. Mr. V~n Dyke, stoo ~ter~upttng my p-~o~sr~,.You czu do my statue la¢er. fP]'~40'I 02363 ~ I
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, NELS~: JACK: MARY: JACK: JACK: INTJLSON: JACK: ~LSC~: JACK: ~LSOK: JACK: PHIL: JACK: But i just finLshed one leg d~m to your foot. AVould you mind slipping off one of yoL~ shoes and socks so ! c~ take a look at 7our toes? ~@. ~n Dykc, I told yo~ i'm not going to J~ck, hc's ~i~king you~. statue, so do wha~ he says. Oh..Oh all ri~it.. (~RL~I~) ~cre...Lock at my toes. P~...five... just like ever~ybody else. ,~ec~ to find, s~ b~mch of D&-nCD~S....And lock at t_h~t sill@ statue...look right here a~ this .... STOP ~K~R~,:G 57r OiA~I! l~was ,i'Ist t~?y~h~ to [~ive m);-sel_f'~jim_p~_. ~!ell you b~,ven~t sot ~% dgnlole there. Phil, pls~y m l~ud [:t~;fi~or; will on?...?~ybe you'll sca~,e this guy ~z~s,y. 0'~zy, JP.c!{~on. !~e dl~iv¢s r~ ~_uts. (SEGU]~ ]~[TO ]5A3/D i,~O] ,~a3~[ti) 0236312
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JAC i( PHIL; JACK: PKIL: N~Y: DON: MARY: ROCI~STLR: ROCI~STER ROCI~STER; ~3 ~12P (THIRD _ROUffI~H~ ) That was ~vez~ T~me' played by ~hJ] Ha.r~gs ~md his orohestz,:~ witi- an oocssior, al bicc~lp hy FraNde, hJ.s 9~,/it~r pl~y~ ...... ~ow~ as *=, 8")eoi~i ~reso~ Tot Zf~e boys he~,e at .Witzs~flons, i will D!ay a vJo!~-- so!o. (CRYING) No~ no~ Jackson, no no...Lock me in ~ room with Spike Joss% but net that, PhJi~ please. Leave h~r alore~ Phi...Say Js.ck~ why donTt youK'~J'~" that new tune ecr the boys? .... The or~ yor rehearsed this morni~ .... It didn't sound bad. at all. ?io ~Is, rT, I letter ~!ay the one I -- Key Livy, you mean Jackson learned how ~, play a new tao~ ? Y • he _~,s, learned it Shis morning. Thi,9 mort!lag...i ddr~~t hes, r hLv~ went r~e±~ to 8.hu Brown Pa!~.~co hotel to pick Jack ~o.. Yn ±'act~ bofo~e i ?or ~er, ..~ was still asleep. S~~,~ it's ~.imos, t .~ne ~or* reh;~arsa!...l better ~c ~, and wake up ~'~'~,~ boss. Bu~ tho:~ he ~s besa doiu sc ~D,f s~ows~ hc ~eeds m i tile rest. ( PHC@:E R INC~ ) There ~ s t~e ~ho~e. (CLICK~ OF P~i'O~) fgT';'-~01 0236313
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12 N@CNESTER: ROCI~STER: ROCI~ST~ : JACK: qOCITF~ER : EASE: ROCIIESTER : JACK: l~eff,]o...,~. BElfrY'S RO0~I .... STAR OF STAGE~ SC~t~_N A>D RADIO.. ~BUff d-LL WCRI< FOR A9~ITHING THAT JINGLES, ~0~mS~ OR-{AS A TRADE IN qfd~L~-, ...... V,~iO~S CALL-NG~ I~-~ Iv~.NACER? ....... i ~IOV~' ['HIS hOTEL HAS LAUndRY S~RVACE.~. I I~qOSl TI~ RATES ARE REASONABLE...I ~D[0W THIS IS A C~.SSY !{0~EL... ,OK&Y~ l'l~ TELL Nl]~. (CLICK OF RSCEn~R) Doggo~% I'@. Besr_F~s iust ~ stop hangin his s~r~4.e~£ear out ?~he m aow...x don t £nd it tT_e s~s£mer ...but hhat l o£~ ,~de~wea~. . ,Oh oh, look svhat tl~£c it is.~.l better w~e him up. (F00TSTEPS.. ,DOSR OPENS) (SNORES T~CE ) ~y my.. just hook at h%~ ]ay~n' there...so nice and peaceful. (S~OHES) Oh Hcdy:..Kiss m'o~ hcdy ..... Come ~re~ ~av]et~e...let rm ga~ n~j ~x'~r.s e~ou~cl you (8~10RES) flee hee ~ee~. ,?£~&T A 14AN. ~ .T~ T 7~,~8 I,IT~ A TAiL4 AVD iz~s ~OZ -Yma,t i do'~±~% loire ~ou~ Lans~ bt~t ycL~ <o.-o~ -- EOSS~ BCSS~ "~IA=7~ UP, .YOH-'RE G~TTTT~~ vcL~SRl~ I~!)m~D. Rochester. Yeah,.~You better get dressed,..You~'~ be Late for for ~ehearsal. Oh yes, we~ve qot a show to do at F~tzsimor_s Hospital. f~ T,~O 1 0236314,
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ROd HES~_R : &~@K: R0 @~£E~STv£R ; JAO]i~ EOCHESTER~ JACK: JACk: JACK: Y~CK~ ,TACK~ ~rhat~8 ~,i~%~ bo~s...I bette~ call dov~i~t~l~s alld Cr~er go~;~ br~ak£~8 t ~ Okay. (CL00K OF REC~I3~R) ....... O~er~tor~ get me roo~a service please .... ROO]~ S~RvTCE, THIS IS [~. Bv~k~ 'S RSO~4...S~D UP SO}~E G~pEFRUIT JUICE...y~L Oi~SS .... POT OF COllEEn..Z~.LL T£{E C}2CK II~_~E YOU'RE IN T~AT S~ALL I~OOD. CLICK OF EECYZ%7~) Say Rochester w~re there arrg messages fOP ~le ~llle T ~as a~leep? Yes~ boss..rte mamage~ of the hotel ~hers you stayed ~m Saznt Joe c~!led. Uh huh. SO _ .~,:a him "~ ~'as ,% m~s~a,~e &~d you dJd~Nt ~aks Jt a-~,a~- inter.t±ona~ IV. Good. i ~o~d h.~ tb~,t afBe-~, yor, ~% thos~- cm, a~,terB i~, the (DOOR OPENS) H~llo Jack...you be<ter h~or~2y up~ everybody's wait[n% Lo rehearse. RFHO'I 02363~
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JACK: ~tqRY: JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: WARy: JACK: ROCI{ESTER: JACK: JACK; -16- #22 ~'ii be dowrL in a few minutes...Say, Mary, I was just th~r~Ing about the broadcast ~'re going to do at F tzsimons Hospital...Yol~ kqlow I'd like to do so~,ethir~ different for the boys this wcek...I think I'll play a violir, solo. Oh for heaven's sake, Jack ...You're not going to take that fiddle wlth you. Certainly I'm goi~ to take it..Sa¥, I ~onder if I need a new violin. YOU DON'T EVEN ~ED THE ONEYOU GOT~ Never mind Kzd harl it to me..I thlr~ I'll learn that vewsor~ that's out..Accentuate the Positlve..Now let's see..!et's see..How does it go, Mary° (SINGS) YCU'L~ GOT TO ACCE~-~UATE TI~ POSIT~YE, ~L~,IN- ATE THE NEGATI'fE- Oh wail a mir_ute, wait a mlnute,. (PLAYS FOUR ~ZASUBES ~/~D HITS CLIhq~EE) [~r~n-... v:&it a minute, I'll get it .... (PIAYS S~ TH~'IG, CLINE~) [~...I don~t know v~nat's the m~tter with it. ~@aJ t a mir_ute, boss, w~it ~ minute...Let me show you how it goes...Listen to this. Okay. (SINGS FERST CHORVS) I'm getting it, Rochester. RTF~01 0-236316
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R0 CH~',STER: JACK: MARY: JACK: iT.- //~,2 (SINGS ~ST ;i~f~ '-= 0_~ SEC0~TD CHCRUS~ I~rlTH JACK PLAYZNG) l~ve ~ot it! .... l~ve got it.. (DU~IN@ SONG) A~TABOy, JACKSC]~..SE~,~ I~E~ SE~,JD ~,]E'. JACKSON .... (~2PLAUSE AT E~D OF N~W2%FR) T~AT'S IT~ TI~TrS IT~ ROCI{ESTER. ,.7r71 pLAY ~{~ ::,'OR TI~E~' BOYS.. ,CO~- 0N~ ~&qRY, LFTrs G) 0VXR TO ?TT~STI~(~NS.. (A#~I~DSL AND PLaYOFF ~USIC ) t ,91"H01 0236317
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JACE: DON: 18- 22 of ~e~ica~ regarding tb~ new '~!AC hospital ~nits..Our ~J~O~'l~£e@ men &re ~et~'rnlr±g from over-seas ~t tLe rate of C<irty thorsand a month...th~ s one thousand eveI,y day...A~ this very moment every Army nurss ~-st haadie twenUy-six hospit~l beds..this is twice as many heds as one a~rse c~ t~e care of efficiently.. Tl~trs ~by at least sight thovsar_d more ~fACS are seeded kmuedlately for hospital ur~its...You ellgible womem a~e strous"ly urged to join the dAO now..to be trained to assist our already ove~-~orde[ted Army Doctors ar_d r2al~ses. Apo]y &t the nearest U.$. Army recruit~n~ office~ or ~mite vAe Adj,:taut Jack will he back in a minute~ hut t'1rst here ~s ~y b{ T MO't 02363 '| ~3
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JACZ: ~F~SOJ: JACK: JACK: NELSON: JACK: #22 l~!ell folks~ this v~mds up ou~ b~oadcast at Fitz~imons ~os~t~] in Derver~ ~d l!m sure g]s~ the boys ~a~ite C ~s o~t ~e~G~.a~_d ~ b~ ~th yoll again ~@xt Sunday ~ight at bhe ~ame time~. ~Tomorrow n~ght we~! bo seeing yo~ fellows statJone& at Ca~ Carson ar~ Pete~son Field ir~ Colorado S~rings .... So ~nt~7 then - ,~y I~. B~nny zTm a~most thro~g~h ~i~ your statue, Do yo~ have A hole in the to~ of my head,~ ~,~y? ~iel! if Fo~ h~ve~ • c~ ~ this into ~ fouEtai.~-. Oh go ~-ay,, ~,Goodnight~ folks. ~:~l"~O'l 02363 'I 9
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DE~b~AR : EVA~,TS : DEID&~ : RU%~SDAhL, R~ SD.EELa 9 ,~CK bS![Io~ PROGRAL( @£Z 5TH REV. (SWIICHOV£~- ±9 I~ERr YC_RI{ ~'0R CLCSING COMJX~CI, IL) CL~S~.~G C0~{ ~CIAL Liste-~ bo the ~,/c~ds of c~ e~pert - a to, baoco expert wi~h b,A,ent~-c~e years expe~ience. ~lere i~ what }~,. Fx'e~ L. Evans~ an lndepesde'~t tobacco buyer of ~n~ri~le; Vir~s~-~iaj said: i l<aow the k~d cf tt~baocc Lucky Shrike buys. NaLura-t!. then when it comes to 6hoosing a oigarett¢ for myself~ ! go by wYat i see at the auctions. $o i~ ~e been maok~.~o L~.ck ~ ~r fifteer, yeaps. ~±~.6 tchacco t0 make a fine cigarette and means fine t~hacco! The fa-~ous ~ob~cco , ~ 4 q o~ n~- ~.<Ot--Lil~.8 h@apd O~ bO± ±~h~ s program w~e ,%. F, E. ~oo~te~ of Lexfl~$tom~ Wentuc~? OL <~,,Idsbo~o~ North Carol~na (O~Nrl - SOLD A',~RIO~:J. ° ~" a&>) f~. , z LS - I'9'T Lt{ - }~IFT !,'~Y.' 20~,1 d~ep-d.cvrn smoking eku)~ekt - s~r~oko tb~t smok~ o! fine tobacco - Lucky Strike - so rouuld~ ~o I~IfJ> 80 ~Q~y ~ckeQ~ 8, /'~e¢. ~t'id easy on the oh, awl ','BWITCHOVER. TO LOCATICN OF JACK BEN~,~ SHOW FCR ~_@~T' -0~ ~ ~[H()I 0236320
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RUTHRAUFF CLIENT: AI~RICA~] n0BACC0 COM~AI~ff LUCKY STR!I~ - L.S./M.~.T. PROGRAM: <~E JACK 3E~ ~ROG%%] 63 RYAN Inc. ADVERTISING RADIO DIVISION REBROADCAST: 9:30-I0:00P~, V~T STA: KP0, KO~,IO, !OAJ~ _KK% KGW, KFSD, KFI. BROADCAS~'~D E~J~ ;/23 DATE: SLq,[, 3/4,1J-:~ N ETWORK: ~C R~-fSDAEL: RIGGS : RUYSDAEL: RUYSDAEL: (Ex.A) Ri_w~2DAEL: SHARBUTT : T 0PENIL~G ~7 Y0!i{ ~ J~CK B ri~t PROGRAM[ Quality of product is essential to continuir~z success+ ( 02~AN'2 - ,~0TD A!~RICAN) Luo~J StrLke mear~f¢.t~,tobac:co - so ro~ILC: so firm; so fully macked, so free and easy on the draw[ LS - ~T yOtA S~iC _u* I~ok~r ~,trike c~ear~ f]/~e tobacco - so ~ou~d~ ~o fi~l, so fully packed; so free a~J eas7 or the dr~w~. RT~01 0236322
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DON: D0~f: JAC/q: ROC~STER: T T~ RCCI~STE~: JAC., : (~ iBST BQBT 15TZf ) (-¢FTER C QIB<~I~C ~L: [40SIC UP A~ FADES ) ~{E LCC~" STRIT~ Pq0C~a},[..S~ARR~G JACK P~E}P~ff..WZLI AND I~0URS TRDU?EEi DC~ WIL~0N, (APPTAVSE - k%BlC UP AND ~DE~) AND NOU, IAD~ ~{D GEI@LE~ ASTER A TOL~ OF MZ/~IIb.~ C~$;IpS ~ CODOP~DO~ M/SSOU~Z~ ILLIgtOZb A2,~ NT, d YOF4£. ,JaCI[ ( SLi~$IIT PAD%E] ) Ahh~.Oallfornia..the ]a~6 of e~cb~r_tz~e~,.wh~re tb~ f~-agranoe of o~a~L~o bLossoms permeates the air. ,the ~ard of eterDal smms:~;:o,, k~m..tlcis ~ust be last yea~,'s tmaivel foEde-,.,W~±I, a~/~m~/2~ ±tls ~±ce to be horace afte~, e~oht wee~cso.Oh !~co ~ester..Roa~este~ whu~,e ~re you? ROU~(Df~CL~ !'E± 07 D0~9 IT? NO~ ~OSS..- AI~<gI 2L~~ YOi~l ~U_TT~, ~@~O';q Y:~ TiL'J OLOSDZ.. SA~,~lO~S ~ACI~ lie T~ TCZ~OX.~ Oh..J411~ g~oocIi,%h~y~!! torso im hamd~/ on ou~ ne~,'t tri . YOU I~,TOW~ iTtS GAD LDT~C@IZ TO T/tICS A ~Zl SAICDVIZC'q~S ZA A VIALUSE..BC2 BOSS A TRD~-TULL~ Rochest~ the~e rs notmzng Izl~ Dlaying s~fe waen youEe Ft'f ~01 0236323
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JACK: ROC*ICST~D JACK: RCC~SnSR ~ACK: ROC~STER JACK: R00~STE~: JACK: ROC!~STtR: JAC~ RCC} ES'±~'H: JACX~ lJ ~P T0 T,~ DI}C~ ~ 7~D ~0 GO TC T[~ BAG6~GD CARl' Oh stop comp]ainz~g, And it was so dark in there. Dsmk? Msc~, ,what for%,±o~ "' difin't hire ~@ fingers, N ,. F0 ~[~=Flk ~U STOPPED ~¢E JUST AS I ?JAS DIP~ ~c~,~ Nevez~ m~_d..And arj~.'~ay, I o~I~- packed enc a~h_ food ~'-~ _last PXA~I ~ BDXTER, Three humdm-~d ares eig, hty-fLve peanut butter? Yeah. Y~TS D_TDL~T SZ¢_L SO GOOD~ DID T~Ts~? t[xose s~.nctw~c ~s absolutely free, T-~ S~7LtIIC[~3S~ X-~, .BU~ TiEg~ YOU ~,%~UE !,,~ S~G ASD ~~~ance .... NC~" ! 5.croft want to team ar~ ~aoz,e &bout th~ s -- (CHISEL OE ROCI{) Oh ds~n it~ b]:e~,e:s tb~t soulptor fz, om Saic~t Jo% st li working, on my" statue..l wish he~d karr~ ~]p ~nc," finish ~t. f91"/~0 1 0236324~
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R0u ~oT~R : JAC,[: ROC,~ST~SR : ,TACK: ~CCL~STER: JACK: JACK: JACK: JACK: ~Jb.KY : JACK: MARY : bi~v_ : -3- #23 ant' P-e% got you st~riinE the~e with jou~ bar.c! zn ycur vest I Zke K~igoleoL. ['#eL1 vd~,tTs w'mor_g "'" • =" ~ rS OC~ ~OUR CT~R ~,#0 2£ABD8 ~ YGUH PCCi[ETSZ Topee :m~,nds !.. Th%t I s ~icl!a-olot s...Xov ~any le~s :.zC he give me? YOi/, Well bels the sJ!!ie~t S~r I eve~ - (n <,_ s~ .... ) ~hel, e~s the -100-~. (FOOTS~PS) (ncc±< os~}~s) Oh ' n mell ; Ms~y. ieZL% dacx....t~'s ~.e motte~,~ ~s so~¢ot;~n8 ~,monS? r.~., :.-~'~' ...... [a¢ow t[~ scu!ptof f~l~ Ssir±b ~)e Wr~o _"o!lswed tile ~CO ~3:l~e~? Yeah. Wel_ he fol!gweC :he {~ero too ar.C ~e =~s ~sts on ±in.~::.~8 tb~t statue, Well w'~t a~e you eomo!sinir~3 r~bout~ I thznk itls ~ ,)~ondel~fui t~i~zute..'-bey~ve ~t a statue cf Jesse J~:~tes t he~e tco~ RTHO'~ 0236325
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0ACK; RCCIDISTERt JACK: JACK : 17£&btY : JACK: JACK: JACK: b~AR',£ : _2_ ,~2) Oh f~r,% co~parao_£, r,!e be Jesse Jdmes...i r=ever L, oobp£. & %Pain in r:: i-~e. N0, Ri~ YOU "~bW A DT~iT2{G CAR 0[~T 02 ~(JSI~,~$S o Rochester...go back i~ the !"~±toc~em, SaF Jack: I got ysu~ message...?~t ~.ic! O~L ~'~aLb CO see me &bo~!t ? lt!i tell yo~! -#r~r_ ~hc resb oi the [:,r~ get ½e~,e..7~-~i Nell .L SOt a 7etteu~ f~om M~m~ a~d • want@d %o ,ead it to 20\1. Ok a ]etse~ f',c:: your mother?...W611~ ':4~t does t%e La,bren 3ac~iq J zla nfield "~,ve to say? Furry letter~ ~.!a /? (RUS~ OF 2AF£~) FEBKLAK: 3C~H. d~3vs . T "CEOW~ bt~t5 :.~ima doesRtt t~liIi]c :it's NsJr, Oh.. ;Well SO a%~ad, read it. Y04 AI~ JACK Sf~ ~,~OSi! ~i~ ~'~vS WIFq t.$ ON YOUR TRIP ~ST. D~S TOO gas YOU I~D TO DP~SS lJ~ SUCII A -TkP~2f ~TH01 0236326
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jACK: MARY: JACK: ~4AHY : JACK: F~ARY: JACK: ~ARY: JACK: MARY: JACK: JACK: MARy: -5- ,~23 We b~re!y m~de it, I DIDN'T REALIZE Bd'~ P@JCH T0U HAD RUS}~D ~TIL .~ZR YOU ~,YgRE G0_~E..BUT DON'T WORRY~ AS T JUST ~ILED YO~ T OOT~BRUSH AND J.%CK ~ S }i~IR. Flkm~ C9{E ~;IT~ ~}IE K%_A~DLE IS THE TOOT~BRUSK. No wonder I c~ugh% cold i~i Chic~,go. MARy; DARLING~ i ~FOBT ~ YOU Tk~ W0~L TIPE ~Y~ PAD ~ J~SEY CZTY_ LAST SATURI~y. yODR FATPIEBIS DOCTOR Z~IC~D OUR ~IHOLE F~R477~- TO ATTEND HIS ~ZDICAL CONVF~TION, .~ IT UAS V~T ]LKOITING~,TBIE DOCTORS p~%D A BEAUTY CONTEST AND yOUR SIS'5~q B~a]Y3 WAS vOTED Y~SS.,, "IT SHOULDN'~ HAPP~% TO'..0F 19~5: I knew Babe could do it. TOUR EROU}~R HILI,~BD ~S B~ RECIASSI~TRD..AND TT L001~ L~[E IT i!0~T'T BE LCNG Nt~@ BECAUSE ~-~ DRAF~ B0~D I{AS A i]~ S~_~I..~ ~d~ A Pk0~E BO0~, PICK A ~YO]ISER, CALL IT, AND ~ T0U ANSW~, YOU'RE ~. Nell~ the telephone is faster. N3,~ i C%N ~a~SZ%~D THOSE POSTERS THaT SAY "D}~CLE S~2d ~m~EG YOU"...~IS NOT p01}TTING, -qE~S GETTI~G E~ TC DL%L~ YOUR COUSIN BOBE~ IS Nd~l A COBPORAL~ IS AI~t~%~I 0~-B~AS...H~S THE~ 0}~ WHO TOOK HIS ~SIC TP~_~I~G AT [{0~TG0~Ry WARD. Your mother:s funny, you l~ow° AND NG~~ ]IV CLOSD;G, ~V/3 i H~VE SC~,~ NEIC£TSORH00D GOSSIP THAT <'@ILL REALLY SURPRISE YOU..Gi1~S WHO_ [~DRD~RED HIS W~ ~LIS MOP~$~? .... NO 0TH~ N~S .... LOVE, ~ICA. k9 / NO '! 023632?
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2____ ~ ~-- ...... ~ ............... JACK: Woody Aoe will love t_hat~ ..Well thatls a f~me way to end a -- (DOOR BUZZ~) J~CK: COME ~ (DOOR 0P~TS ) JACK: Oh hello, l~y. IARRY: Hello; ~h~. Ber~y...l c~1~e when I got yoo~* message. J%CK: Well IEII talk To you about it as soon as the rest of the ~ong gets heme. I~RRY: Okay...Ch hello, ~iIiss Liv~ngstone~ ~Y: Ilello Larry,..Are you gl~d to be ho~e? L~/LR%: Oh, }[ sure a~n..And to selebrmte myho~eoo~%ing, all ray friends chipped in ~nd thret~" a big Ds~rty for me. I~/~.P~: H~J~ Was it? LAP~: Oh~ l douTt ~<w~, I couldnIt o~fford to go. JACK: Well, t~2.tls a sb~ne...$&y l~mry~ did Mr. ~rris send you the aL~rangement for you~ song fo~~ Sunday? 12/IRY: Zeah, and I th~k it's pretty good...l,'ould you IC~e to hear it? JACK: Sure, kid, su/~e go e,head. Go ahead~ let*sherethe song. (SEC4JE l[~[T0 La~RYIS -~YJ~$~) JACK: MAR'/: ROCHESTER: Well say, that....well th~,t...~t song sounded very good, kid. it certainly did, I~%rry. _~hs~s, Miss Livingstone. 0hW~, Benny, here's a note i just found..It was left by Mr. N~abish, the man you rented your house to when you went away. P; T ;'401 0236328
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JACK: JACK: ~&CK: JACK: PHI-~: JACK: PHIL: ~APJ: PHIL: E£1L: JACK: 2H~: JACK: P~IL: -7- ~IL23 Well 1111 be darned, I forgob all about ~r. Ntmbish. i~t me see that. ( PAPnR RLVo%LING ) "~ear ~m. Benny...If you remember the ~. W~bish yau rented your house to, thatTs no. However, I lived in yoar house just one week ~nd somothing very urgent ~pDened..,I h~od to go somewhere, ~nd sinoe they asked ~e --II B11oh ~ nice way~ I couldnlt ~efuse...Sincerely yours, Pro!rate W%mbish" .... P. S. ~rofit by my experience...If the phone z, ings, donrt renewer it"... Say,...[¢~ry, youm mother must have been right about -- CC~E 1Dr. (ooo ops s) Oh hel]cj ~ntl. ~i ya Ja~kson...g got your call, T;~h~.tls up? I~lt tell you. v~hen DOn gets here. !{e !io Live. l~_Qllo Phil...isnlt it gre~t to be home age, in? ~eah, this is ~hat I kept dre~mlnI about during all those cold wee~ be, ok east. Yu~,gett~u~ b~c~ ~o good old California. v_es/n man~ this is the only place fern me. You said it, Fhil...C<zue on ~n the other ~oom. O~my,,.where slmll I put nr£ umhrc, ll~? Right over there by }~ary's boots...~ay Phil, you look a little tired. Ye2_h, I am,..All day long I've been helpS' Y~ankie, m~ guitar player, look for a plsce to llve. ,9]"HO 1 0236329
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: ~i J~!r: ,--f i ............................................. -8- ~3 ~ JACK: Did he find one~ pHIL: No, Jackson, and the peon guy%s p~otically an o-r'pl~n uo~ that theyI~e oTostu[ the b~ms at ~id~.ight~ ffACK: Oh yeah~ ~KI-L: If he ba(hn~t been locked i~ %wice~ he wou!~/~;t[ve got any sleep at all~ JACK: Phil, look, lZm gettinZ slok -- all yo~ do is worry about FraT~k!e, 7ou? gu!tsm pla~e~itTs s, ll I h~ar~.. 7~ wo~lldn[t hurt if you settled dc~m yourself and got p~ little mope sensible. ~IL: W~t are you t~ik~n~ 5bout~ Jhcksou~ I am sensible... R~membe~. in Chicago when We met the fellah who draws the Dick Tc-e~0y cartoon? JACK: Teal1 ~ PHIL: Well he said ! was a very level-headed guy. JACK: He didn't say you were level-headed, he sa~d you remind him of FT%t-to~. You level-headed~ PHIL~ Oh shop pickin: on me,.~Every tOue I open my mouth you jump d.~n my tbmoat. ~CE: l~m not j~plng d~ youm th~t, i!m ~ust t-~ylng to give you ~ little advice, ti~t!s sll. PH~ %~q~L I DONIT }~ED ANY ADVICE FR0~I YOU~ ~. ANTH@~_, i C~ TAKE CARE OF ~ZS~/% JACK: ~ a~THONY~ ~. ,N~; I ]3~AND A LITTLE MORE ~PECT ~I yCU~ PHIL, P~, IIM THE BOBS~ ~T}40I 0236330
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:- NIL: JACK: JACK: DON~ IdARY: DON: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JA~£: PHIL: JACK: }4ARY: J&CK: PHIL: .,J • -9- ~,:~]: Tke boss, h~i? (LOUD DOOR B[~Z~) OH ~AH? Then why is Phll wiping his chin? Is that the door? Hello everybody. Hello, Dom..iz's gres, t to be home again, isn't it? it ~u~e is...$a~ Jack, I got ~(>u~ message..J,qhat did you. lqant to see me e, bout? ([~%D) 1111 tell you as soon s,s Don gets ~'~ I mos,n ~Jilson. I h n ~Jils on. Irm m%w~d ~p. !lu the door b~zzer, pleased to meet you. Oh shut ~...Ncw look kids, the ~eason I asked you all to come over is bec~,use there:s something ~upcrta~t l ~.m.nt to talk to you ahout....~ e~pemse accounts for Fasten 7cu¢, s~gety belts, fe!]~hs, this is gonm~ be ~os~h ~'ido. You're d&rm ~gght it is...!~ve beeu looking over the expense ~,ccounts s, ll of ~ou turned in, a:~_d you must thiuk money grows on trees. Yeal% J~cksor±~ and ycu got enough to keep 7ou in the shade for the rest of your life. (-~ Y ~401 0;~36331
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JACK: J~CK: DON: JACK: !~RY: JACK; IIRIVI: JACK: L~JA~ : ~ACK: DON: JACK: JACK: LX)N: JACK: - i 0- ;23 All right, Phil, sJmlce you:~e such a wise g~y~ ~'eEll ~tarfi with yo~., ,.'iT-ate8 th~s ifiem for tern ~o73~s ~rk~S vast service? I ha0 soi~.e suits pressed at the hotel. H[ma...i pressed ~y own s~its ... And Wilson~ look at yo~ accorded..wh&t~ ~ %his Gharge fo~ ~ even doJ~a~ ma~ked la'~ r~ ? T~t~s just what ~t ~s, T ~aid seve~ d@llars to have ~r~,..A~td wi~ ~q7 ~at fr~e ~oaD and w&ter ir~ the hotel...You ~ow~ ~ washed ~y o-~ oloth~...Now ~ary~ ~ni~tI ~ thi~ c~&r~ C~ ~o'J~ account..f~'~ee~ ~oiAar%N.@~ A ~-~ G~DTE~ ~TfS 8~ YOU ~IGGL~ 0U~ OF T~aT 0!~E. All ~i~ht~ ai~ ~i~t.~.A~-~ Lar~y -- Kes, )/~. ~ermy. Look at %his acoo~l~ jo~ ~u~_e~ ~i..T~ee ~ol~ar~ ~o~ 7o~r hotel roo~., i~Lr t t~at k~-~ of ex~e~\,e? Well I thoug~ht so ~oo,.but ~-~t~ what you (~arged ~qe fo~ s~a_~k~ yo'~ %ed with you. Ch~ oh~ yes yes k~0~ I forgot..And Wil~on~ ~Yr~.t are ~-~se¸ Oh those a~e for ~u~ic~ Su~d~y, [vlo~day~ ~rL~ay, a~ Lu~ch S,~udaF~ Mo~@ay, F~id~y ar_d 'fhurs6ay? Yes~ i just abb~ev~te~ it to LS~T. Oh. And you k~±cw~ Jack~ I fo~d out the most ama~ir~ thing. %Tiat is it, Don? P~'f'HO 1 0,:.~ 633~
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DON: 9RCK: DOE : JACKI KBBN: i.G~Rhr: JACK: JACK: Y~FI~N: JACK: -<r,2 @ : JAGf: IC~RN: JACK: JACK: -11- -~} LSP,~g spelled baclq,Jards is TF~SL, Well isnJs thab aatoundimst...wbat does it sre]] si@ewa~rs, Don9 i donrt know about s£deways~ but al~ ~ itrs L:UC:~/ Str~e h_eans iIire Lobacoo. [ihatIs very o!ever, Don...NO~ gettJl~g back to yot~' ex[ze~e acco~z!ts...~ want yoi~ k~cs ~o ~e t~ore oa~efh~] ~i~ the future, but i~!I pay you off now..WsSt he~e, ir;l go into ~, vault and get the mo~.oy,..Please tm~± your backs. (S.~qK&L P00TS%~PS. }LEA~V~" iRON HANDTS ~I\~ WILe CbL~IKING 0P CHAIDS..il£~,x~- IRON DOOR CP~AKS OYEK... SIX MO~ FOOTS ~PS, .Y~A~glER IR01~ DOOR Y~ND£E T~JP~S /,;i-~ FOOTSTEPS. ) What~ s the cassword? Password? Oh~ -e~...A fool ~l~d his mons~f are soon parteS. Oh, it:s you~ Kz~. ~erm~y. 'lhe.t~s rig~t~ hew~ve you been; Ed. i<e ~oo...an@ it's sure goo@ to get bac~ hom.e. Gh~ ?ave you been away? Yes; fop e~_g weeks. ,I went to New Yo~k. Oh...it R~u~t be ~:ice ~ere now. NO nO, m@, itls W~l~er, .... 0h..Well it:s hard to tell ~1 here. Yes, I imagi~s it is..Take, out yo'J~ gun~ Ed, I~m goir~S to o[~n 1-~e sa~e. R ]'MO'I 0236333
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JAC.VQ -JACK: JACK~ }(ERE: JACK: ~h JAOK: KERN: JACK: I,~RZ: JACK: K~: JACY~: PT{IL: JACX: :,f~RY: JACK: ~ZFFf: -12- i',~23 Yes sir. Let's see...the combirmtion is right to forty-fi-Je... (LIGHT ~JR}~!_NG SOUDI~D)..].eft to o~_e szxty.. (IgO~T SOU!'~ Back to fifteen... (~XGI[T SOD~)..2hem left to one te~.. (LlCgIT SOUND)...There, (IL~0~ TU~,~..T~P~P~RIFIC S~A~ ~HiSTI~, BELLS, GL~.T SHOTE, E¢C~ ~DI~IG I~I~i B~ 3~H2T~= I~F£ISTLE) I wonder if I ~ed a ioude~ burglar, a3arm...f;eR!, ~et~s see...this ought to be emmugjr moneT. (DOOR SU~S.. ,FO0~SY£PS ) Well so lor~, Ed. Goodbye, Mr. BernF. SaFEd, l~ve bee~ ~k~, ..~ou must he kL-*-da loP~so<e dow~ hel~e, 3to ~o~ I donI t mJ~-d it. ~#ell never+J~e]ess, l~~ goir~] to get you a ra@io. A radio? -- ~m~,trs that? ~lell..it~ s a..a ne>~ thing that.. ,that [_~o[~le enjoy. V~el~ ser_d o_r:e ~own...If I like it, I~Ii eat it. iI~o D~O~ ~d~ ills ~_obl_ing to eat..Well~ ~o long. So lo~g~ ~&% Berm%. (~' FOCTS~PS AI,~U9 CREAK_-~G DOOR CLOSES) gle!l here you am% kids) l~vs got the mormy. Don% h<!d it s: t: ~t. J<sb bs Glad ys'.:"~c -,ott';nj it..t~t~s al~.. Oh say Ja~, ~,~hile you were La yc,~ vault p]aySmg Monte Cristo...~ ma~ Paul~, called u6. Yeah? She said they de]iverec] my ~ug~age from t~e station, but m7 ]]:~o~i-q S]P!D ~s in~ss ~g. ~ ]-;~01 0236334.
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~A JACK~ JACK: JAC~: JACK: JACK: -l>- Wotu~ b~cm~ ~'ip? Yes and llve got to have it...Al! fly !7~tgerie is ~<~ 1]bat bag. VTell gee~ you better call up the statior~ and tr~ ~ fJ/~c it, No~ l~ve ~ot ~y ca~ ou%side~ I better drive down...Wil! you Gome ~dth me? 0km.~y...ICake 7ourselves at home~ fellows~ T~]I see 7!ou ]ater. Ju~t & ~ut6. (RASfTEI~[G OF IRON DOOR) it~s locked...Ccm~e on.,.let~s go. ($ECNE iNTC BA~n3 ~-~BER) (A~Pmuss) 023633S
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( ~IIRD RO JTlh~ ) JACII: JACK: ~ARY : ,TACK: M%RY: JACK: t~A EY: iC~ EY : JACK: JACK: ~TSL: dACt(: O~tRISTIE : -!£I.- ;~29 (OAR M0~J0R UP AND }~ADES D©~',~') Dorset drive r,o £ast~ )131~~. . .!~]<o Jt easj --- _~S rjJZU.: wir, cy with tae top do,'m..]et ts stop &nd put m~ ,k~. But Jack, fresh e.~ is goo~ fo"~ you...','it.at if it does blow yo<m hair a~,o~id a libtle? Listerl sister; it blo~,s you~,s aruu:mb it %lov~s mire off. Oh...Well why donEt you get rid of it?...~e way the wind kegps iL~tir-~L it up, you look like ~ou~re read~ a :<yste~y story. Okay, okay..(S0t%~D: CL±CK OF LOCI()...±~!I put it ~rc_ t-e glove oompa_~,tment.. (CLICK OF LCCE)... (JACK S~IXnJ~--RS )... Tt~ s ohill$r. Leave it off, you~ll ge~ ased to it...Ar%,~.my, ~e~s the station. Yeah... an~ there ' s a l~z-l¢ing place r i@~t is_ front. ! see is. (MOTOR lip AI~D CAR STOPS} ltere...let~s go in. (CAR ~)OR 0PE2TS A%~ CL{SES) Gosh, ~ook at i}~at moo ~_ the~e. (DOOR OESi~,'5 P~O) Gee, pailro£.@ statioms ~PO always so cPo~ed...K@.,~ leZIS see, w'oek~e;s the -- (c~F;i~ P.A. ) TRArN ~AD~I~@ ON _~P~CK FIVS FOR ANA_£~_'IM~ AZUSA, AND CIJCAMS~GA. Com~e on~ ~,~ar~-~ ]~t~s go ove~- to the b&gg~se roo~ am_d ~p6 out about... ~SLL~ V~LL~ BliL~ ~]'MO'I 0236336
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JACK: C}IRIST~: JACK: CHriSTIE: JACK: ~{RISTIE: JACK: C}i~IS9iE: JACK: O-qRISTIE: -!5- ~',{2~ # . ¢i *~ \I£1UD ~IA. 0}~ BACK) (COUGHS ~CE) BILL~ v0U OLD SCCD~?D?PL...- HA~-~K~T SE~T YO17 5!KCE < _ !~00~ T~h@]?@ must be some -- V~]AT A B~A,WL T}L%T WAS (IAU~{S) ~ ~ ~ C]~SCK @~L, S}~TS STILL I~2OKING FOR vOJ. NoW wait a m~_ufdte~ [ObJVe made a taistake -- i ':_OLD YOU IN K4NSAS Cl[~ rE}EAT ]i-iE Y,~-HD OF LD'E Y0U ~l~h~ i~DIf'l@ W0"JLD KiLL YA (lAUGHS). Now ~ait a u~i~<e. ±~m not -- }[OI~I~ ~NU~II~ IIM NOm SCOLDING zOU...This YOL~ L±FY V(; i,i~ AS ~0U ?I~]AS%~ 9UT IT'S 8EGII~]~ING TO TELL 02, YOU....~!~-~ YOU~ :CV~S~N m0S9 f01~ iT!JR. ~9 T~o I 02a6957
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y~kRY: JACK: OffRIST~ : JACK: CHRrSTE£ : JACK: CB3RISTIE : JACK: CRRISI~IE : JACK: JACK: }J~RY: JACK: MEL: lle £1dzIt lose it; itTs im t~ glove ootuF~mtmemt. WELL l,~%LL~ BI~ _~{iS MUST BE YOUR IITT "~ 0I~. 2~ "~'"2 L%~ I t~v~ ~'G~ YOL~ -TATI~R Bg~R 8INOE-- izm, Cot k82 f&ther~ Yo~re ~_ot [ze~..ChbJ{hHb~{h~bZ~lh..r GE~ IT..STILL T<~ S~4~ OLD BIT~ (m~L~iqg) ~4~LL DCNIT WCR~Z~ BIT[~ DOIf:T WOP~RY~ i-~' I S~ .~TC£IR MISSUS I WO-~T ~%Y A WORD. Look~ D~m tryi~mS zo t~ll yo~. that -- BY T~ WAK~ ARE YCU STILL WITK T~ CATCH-ALL GARBAC;m CAg~ C]~<PANK? @&tch-A!I Oarb.,Leoklt,.if you:l! just listen for minute, E cam -- HA ~_4A HA..i~ ~R FOPgET TI~ T~E YCU SOlD ~ Ci'm! OF SYRACUSE T;~O ~I4CUSAND GAhB%~E CA~NS, ~Ib THE FirST T~ TSEY IA~B~ USED ~ BCTT~$ ~-L OUT 0F E~fERy C~, ~KiqT A $_-~NK T}F~ CAUSZD,I Look, mtste~ --:m tryi~<~ to tel~ 7ou Lh~% -- ZIVE S0T TO RE-7 _~[~ S~LL..GOTTA R~]..T:~[ TAK~(G i=: TRAIN TO ~.a~I D~'O...Tiy, SAN DT~GC, .F~&%~/%ER THA~ WIG~ BII[~? (L%D~F~) ~¢E_LL~ SO TDNG, BTLL; iIKL SEE ~OC ~[ BOSTON -~[ ~ORTY-E!GHT! Wb~t a silly guy..l wonder who ae thought I was? Bill. Oh yes..0ome o~ ~my..there~s the baggage roo~.. (_°.A.) ~RA_TN LEAVING Off TRACK F~ FOR AffAHEI~{, AZUSA; AND OUCAMCNGA, ( 'oo ssnPs) 19T:~40~ 02363:38
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JACK: M~RY : JACK: MARY; JACK: ~TELS ON ; JACK: ~LSOb : .TACK: ,IAC K JAOK : JACk; KELSON : JACk: 'iT- ./23 Look Mary~ l~ll tell them itis hly su.ltcaae.,you k[±ow [-*o~ they p~s£± cvomec~ arout¢/. I Ycu better let me h~r.~le i% Jack. Jab,,= i= show you low to get t~J~g~ dor~e i~ & aur.%:. l~Jell, .okay, ,but i bhiak you~z.e ~ror~, (Fco~s~i~s smoP) Oh say, Mister.. 2"e s ? Yester~a.y. ,Fester~y ~,lhem I got off the tr~l~ I mlsse~ a suitcase. ~all mow that's a ~itch..Just ~d~s~ mo~mimg a ~a ~et o-~f a suitcase ~d ~issed a traia. Nevem m~r£~ the jckes..The bag l~m ]ooking for ts bro~,F- alli@atom ~'ith a doable [madle. Just ~ rtimmte.,lIll look for ~t. C~kay, AZUSA, A_KD COC£v]O~_~GA.~ SlY ~US~AND iS OUT TO LD~[CK. -Yow }II$r?-~ dom~t s,lor~y &bec.t your gmlp~ Zil! get it ~Ihls is the oc-L? aili8~to"~ bag • foau@~.it has tLe That ~s me..Mervi~ lawson. ~Here. Ilk! ts]~e it. Not so f~s% Metwtm, .first Fo~ve got to idec.tify tie oomte~ts, .NOW let ~ s see., lqS?0 CIKOKS OF SUITCASE ~E~x{G C~NED) • here~ it is op~u. ,Now l~ ii go through the. ,~"~Z.~ ~IS CANt9 BE YOUH BhG, Oh yes it is. ~TR01 0236339
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~LSON JACK: JAOK~ C HRiSTI}V -~ JACK: CB~IBTIE : N~LSON : JACK: 1~r~Ry; JACK: NEISON c~rS~iE : NELS ~ MARY: I~LS 0N : JACK: 'ffELSON : ,TACK~ BEA : ~EL: JACI( -18- C23 _R~a ll~ ~ amd Fo~a have sac~ a deep voice. How wait a mir_ute~ J~s~ look a% th~s..three pair~ of Dsm~t!es four ~.o~,~• Kcw lock~ s~art ~F~ close fl~ b~e_ ~ ,~!,-- WHY BIT~ k~0U OLD PASCAL..UP ¢0 ~0UR OLD TR~0KS.. L00K~ WI~ ~OU P~SE ~0 AWAY? HEY WAI~ A MIICJTE, 8ZLL..YOU SAID %~0[~ "~.&~ '~A$ ~Ht~. MY NA',I~ ISN'T BILL..IS 19~ ~.~ffly? N0, Iff~S ,TAOKo THERE JACK! WI~A~ ~iAPpE}NSD TO [~AVI~J? THEN ~HIS I~AO IS ~, IT iS NOT~ ITIS ~BAG. HER I~AIWS ±S Ii~k(~ aA~D SI~ W, AI'[TS £~R ,MARY...I 14EAN ~[iR ~N~i~ IS I~ARk AlffD SHE W&NTS HER EAG. ~h'NN ~CR ~i~\I/Eh~S SA~,~ WI:fAT:S ~ IfAk~? i@, ~ ll&, GCOD OLD BILL.~ (PoA.) Well~ l~m ~ck~ ho~ey..A~@A, AND C%~CAMONGA[ AW NLrfs • • ,CC~[E ON ~ "Y~RY, I~T I S O 01 (APPIAUS~ AND P~%-i0P~ ~USIC ) R]'HO 1 02363,t¢0
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JACk: I~N~ -19- ,#23 Ladies &r_~ gen~]em~en~Jn %be past t-~ee years I have seen %be Red C~oss in action bot~ here a~d ove~-eeas,, %~ile v~ w~e ou this last trip to ~w ~opk ~sd hac~ my gap~ %nd • visited many hospitals .... And fclks~ ~f you could have seeu -ahat we saw~ you'd give to the ~ed Cmoss so fast~ tbeJs ~leed Tot two ~mndred mil-~OE do~lsss would be cove~ed ~n NO t~me...They are doin@ joo so bi~ tha~ trey c~@ only keeD it iJp with @~r he_~. Whem we ~e~lise that the Red Cross ~ow m~erabes seven rundred %wenty seven 8!u~s over-sees...serves am average of two million neals~momDh..provides ~sio~ hO0kSj ~.8~zirxes~ ~wspape~s ~_d ~eo~e~tio~ to ou~ men .... ~has's somethim~ to be proud of...And how about the way they've been £~ttir~ t~ose packages ~to prison camsso.>.AlS can add, fo!ks~ zs thigh=. Le~s do it Cow..~iet~s jar loose al: tk~ spare mcrey we c~_ and give At to the Red Cross .... Pha~i you. (APP~SSE) Jack will be back in a mirat% cu~ f~rst here is ~y good frierd~ R.A. (S~eed) Rlggs, FI THO 'I 023634-'1
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~AL'K BB7~ PROGRm~ #'s3 5TH REV. (S?JITCKOVER TO ~[~,f YORK FOR CLOSING C0}TdERCIAL) V CLCSING CC~@J~RC IAL B00}[E: (CHANT - SO}~ AMERICAN) RUYS~%EL: It takes fine tobacco to ~ke a fine cigarette. And Strike means fine tobacco - the finer, the li~qte~, the naturally milder Luc~cy Strike tobacco. S~U~m~T: This fine Lucky Strike tobacco means rea_ll3 deep-dora, smoking enjoyment for you.. DELVER: So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco - Luo~j Strike - SO ro~r.d~ so fi~%, so f~lly p~cked~ so f~ee ~md easy on the draw. RDYSDAEL: ~.ne f~mous tobacco ~uctioneers heard on tonightls p~ogre-m wer~ ~J L. A. (speed) RigEs~ of Gcldshoro, No~tn Carolil%a (C!6%NT - SOLD A~RICAN) and ~. F. E. Boone, of LexizT-g%on, Kentucky (CpA/~T - SOLD ~/~E~ICAI~) Basil Ruysdael speaking for Lackey Strike. RDYgDAEL: I$_ - ~T S~%RBUTT: You said it.~ ( og. A. ) RUYSII&EL: yes, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So smoke that ( ~m~.. Tag. 9~17) smoke of fine tobacco - L~cky Strike - so rou~_d, so firm, so fully packed, so fr~e and easy on the draw. (SWITCKOVE~ ~0 HOLL~00D FOR JACK BE~YNY SI(~-0FF)
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~r JACK: ~ARY: JACK: IviAlR v"; ffAOK: MARv : ~ACK: (CAR ~,DTOR UP Al~7~ D0~i) WaIT !~ary~ we f'ma-ly got the right bag~ so yo< don't hmve &DythJng -- you've noLhing to "~rry about. ~ew y~l eo~Nd do it; ~ervir~. You can s~op wmt~ that Mervin now~...'rJait a mirage, Ms~y...didn't you drive past the house? i don't %hirk~ so~ ~Tei~ where ~re we? ~.st s secopd, it11 put up [~e ~e~isoope ar~ see. I told you we should have had t£e top up ..... @oodnjght, folks. ~TH01 023634-3
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RUTHRAUFF RYAN CLIENT: PROGRAM: AI~RIC~Z~ TOBACCO COMPANY LUCKY STRvKE - LoSo/M.F.T. Y}IE JACK B~FZ_ ?ROGRAM Inc. ADVERTISING RADIO DIVISION REBROADCAST: 9:30-10:OOP~PWT STA: KPO3 KOHO, ~]J KHO KGW '~sD] z~I: BROADCAST: 4~I ?J~V.7~4 DATE: MARCH ii, 1945 NETWORK: N~C DEODAR : RD~SI~EL: B 00~ : RUYSDAEL: TICK~ : RUk~DAEL: DEL~AR : (m, G.) P, US~INE%: SHARB[ZI~: DE[/~AR: OP~ING iq/t~l YORK THE ffACK BEN~T/ PR0~.7 Qu.~lity of product is essential to continuing success. (Of{N9 - SOLD A~RiOAN) Lucl,~,, St~'ike means fine to~oacco - so round, so firm, so fully ~,cked, so free ~nd easy on the draw.~ (2&3, 2&3) IS - ~,IFT Th&t Is right! You bet.I And hoW.~ Strike means fine tobacco - so round, so flrm~ so fully packed, so Tree &rid e&sy on the draw.~
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JACK ~i~]Y PROGRA)Ji #9l[ 6TH R~v'. $1{ARBUTT : DELVAR; RIGGS : Herels o~e thing you can deger_d of_ ~!ways - Lucre S~rike r~e~ ~ rifle tobe, cco. The f!ner~ the lighter, the natt~,a_ly milder Lucky Str~ke tobacco. So fc~ your oi~n ~eaL, deep-~o~ smoking e~zjc~ent smoke ths, t smcke of fine tobacco - T'acky Strike~ (CHANT SOLD ~%~ICA~ ) (SWITCHOVER TO HOLLYWOOD FOR JACK ~EN~J~# PROGRAM) ATMO~ 02363mZ
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DON : DON : MEL: DON : ~L: -l- ,4z~ (F~ST aOV~iE ) (A~I~R C~RCIAL~ ~SIO UP AND FADES) THE LUCICf $_~RI~ PRCGRAM..STARRING JACK BE~D~/. o .RrI-TH-~ ~&RY LIV]]~GSTC~, THIL ID~RIS, ROC}~STF-R, IARRY STE~TEN$, AND "YOURS TRULY" DOK WILSOK. (APPIAU~Ej MUSIC UP AND FADES OUT) IADXES A}D G~TI/9~F~, IAST WEEK WE INTD~ATED THAT IT WAS RB._~'TI~G ~RE 9[ SD]~NY CALIFORNIA,..NC~ T~.T WAS pUT%ELY FOP. yOUR EN~ERTAIg~NTo .AII~ TO PR~I~ TO YOU TH&T THE IAI~A'~. I{ERE IS ABSOLUTELY WONDF~R~IL, ~J/E 3R]~IG YOU A TEST~,ONIAL FRCI~{ 0~ OF OUR ~ATI3FIED RESIDFgTTS. (C-qIRP8 MERRILY LIKE ~API~I BIRD) ~2~..L!S~I TO ~HAT LITTL~ BI~ S~TGIZG. (CHIRPS ~pARILV..HITS I~~ 9HROA[TK ~{~Y~K-LIKE NOTE-.. DON : }A%RY: JACK : JACK: ~/ELL, B~!$ TRY~ ~I TIIOI~H ~ ISNIT OVF~R HIS COLD I~T..AT fd~-~ RA~, $~TCE THIS ~8 A BF~%UTIN~L DAY..~T' S GO OUT ~0 BE%~I/f HILI~ TO JACK REN~7/'S HOUSE..~RE WE F~D JACK A~ ~ C-A~ ~ %~E B&CK YARD PHACTIS~- ~CRNRY ° (ON C~) Do I he!d the bow like this~ J~ck? Yes..Now D~II the string ~Ii the w~y -o~ck..tako aim.. n~w let go. (SN~P OF B~; ° .LIGHT WI~ WHTSTKE o .LOD~ pLOP¸ ON ~GET) Sa~..S~..tha~ was pretty goo~j MarF..you hit the t, ar~et.,.Ycu kaow you o~I~ missed the bulls-oye by three i~_ches ° Yuah.
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JACK: JACK: P~L: JT~CK: ~t~RY: JACK: JACK: PHIL: JACK: ~JlARy: JACK: L~RRY: JACK: La~RRy: JACK: IARRy: -2- HOV~ It's my tur~.,st~d ~mok ~ ]ittle~ Ma~y°.you too~ Phil..~Jatch m~ hit the hullIs-eye.°.Hore I go.r (SNAP OF BON. ,WI~ ~I~IgTLE ° oDIES 0U~ WI~H Cf~DY WlZO I40VED T~ TARGEt?...Hu~? Nobody moved the target, Jaokson~ itls 8till behiu~ Vo~u. Ol~..Haud me ~uott~er arrow~ Ma~y. Here. Tt~t first one shot there ~as s,~ e, ccidemt..nc~,J watch me. Stamd aslde..Here I go! OUCH •. OUCH, • CL-CH •~ Hey~ ~ey..what h~ppe~od? T.~e arrow loll c~t and he ~ot his head caught i~ the bow INell~ that could ~pDen ~o anybody...And if yo~ ~ids ~ill stop bothe~'ing me~ I Ca~_ hit t~t t~rget a~ hu~dD~d yards. ,l:~ at_ expe~t m~ksman. Some m~ksr~auo.yOu even had a bombsight put on your door key so yoa could ~It the key-bole, Bombsight, bombsdgmt~ bo~_bsight..~[~" if you~ll cut out the talking, i~Ii show you that I can de it. Heady° ,s,i~a~ °. Good luck~ ~r, Benny. H~h. I said goed luck. 0d it'S yo~ Larry# wt~em did you comae in? 0~ about tern mdaute~ ago. ~ 1~ ~40"~ 023634.~
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JACK: lARRY: JACK: JACK: PHIL: JACK: LA/~DV : JACZ: EA~R~; JAOX: DON: JACK: PHIL: JACK: DO~: PHIL: DON: -3- #24 Well why didn't FOU speak to 21e befo2e? ~#;ith ts~t bo~1 8,~%d ~ow~'r thought %TO~ ~le~,e &n IK~i&h. Well..l do have a 72ttle Indis~ bloo= iP- me. yeab~ hels th~ last of the Wau/ceg&ns. MS,z*y~ sto~, .Now ~ eve~ybodyIll be quieb, l'll show you how to..PHIL~ GET AWAy FROM ZT,[ FRO~- 0~ TKCT '2AR@ET DON~T BE SO FL~ A~D STAND AS]IO~..Ready..a±;n -- ~r. B~ra~y, would ycu let Miss Livingstone hold yo~ "DOW and a~bow £oz~ ~ r~ilLfos? Don~t wo~ry~ ltv aob a±l~ng at you. o)~ow sts, m~ back~ everybodsr~ a~_~ $i%-e 12e ~oola. ,~e&dy..air~I -- ,~ello Jack, Hi everybody. He!l% Don. Hi ya~ ~)nzy. InteZ','UDBAOnS, .nothir_S but £nter-m~ptior-s. o, • that tamget ii' ~cu s_,~eezed with e, inoutt~l of buckshot. 0h ~ couZdzz~t~ eL?.~'#ell# I~ll tel! yot. what Ill! dc# Phil..S~fCE YCUIRE SUCI~ A ~ T~ ~;_o. G~ fILL BE~ YOU A D~ TIAT i CA~ T~ TIIIS BCW A-~D ARROW AK~ SHOOT AN APPI~ CFF D0~I V,IZLSONIS i~.D..KOW 2U~2 UP 0H SHL~ UP. 0k~y, Jackson, you gotta bet! ~[C~ JUST A SEC0~ JUS~ A SEC0_~! RTH01 0236348
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x .......... ~ 2 L ] ........... JACK: HilL: JACK: JAg&; DON JACK: DON: J~K: DON: :~.RY: JACK: FHIL: ~ACK: DON: JACK: ~mL: ilepe~s m~~ di~le~ Well~ ?:emets rr~y d!me. We~!l let !~Iamy hold the money~ Gee) £ellahs~ ~nd Klm not even %oad~d. We ~ll [~ake P~ c[~race. ~01f~: Phii~ IE ll show you. _[@~ WAIT A }/[~,,rC2-~ JACK..IlI~ NOT GCI£~A STAND Tb~ i~!~H AH APPi~ O~ ~ }Eg\D /~,DD TAI~ TI~ C@A~CE O~ -- Don~ Phil and ! al~e betting~ what is.re ~ 80t to lose • .Huh? IT'S TOO DANGEROUS; ~S I~M -~70T GO~A ~] IT[ Dcr~ %Bve you read yc~r oontr~ct?..0m ps~ge twelve, volu~s six~ £oara~epr_ t%mee~ is the s,pple-shooti~g clause..which also ~nc~udes bedding s~ ci~a'~,ette b~tween yo~ test% ~h~eD- l~:a having ~if~e -ore,cries..~ o~t +~ ~ . ~a~re and out ~I~t apple: on ~-ou~ head. Oh. °all sighs. ?/~t ~re y6u !augf-ing o~t? T~=zt si~y o~ause you've got in ~ Go~%~c~. ?11z~.% is it; ~vI? Wel!~ when T~m too old for P&dlo~ Ilve go%%a womb &round his house. T~t~8 fop your o~al protection~ sistem..Kow Den~ put t~t ~pple o~ ~-oum hesx] &rid st~O. %he~8 bZ ti~t tmee. 0_~y. p~a~y..AiM -- ( CH~PS ~RRIiX ) P,T~L. 1 O2$63~9
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91ARY: JACK: Yl/L: JACK: g~L: JACK: filL: J6CVE: ~L: DONf N~L: JACK: DCN: ~L: JACK: JACk: JACI(: JACK: PHIL: JACK: JACK: -5- ')2# Wait a mh±ute~ Jack, dorJ t shoot..A bird just lit o~ Dan~s head and is u~cki~ig at the apple. Oh yes..l:m glad you stopped ~e~ MaFy..l wouldn't want to humt a poor little bird. (C~{IRPS I,~RR±LY ) Go away~ bi1~die. Birdie, b~ie, go 8wa7. (ANGRY CHIRP, ~ SPITS) Don~ get ~i@ of +£~at b~rd, will you? Go away~ birdie~ go o~-j go away. (~IRP CTIiRP .. ~,,{iRP SI[IRP C~TiR~ -- CHIRP CHIRP .. O}II_RF <~{IRP C~l~P) WbstI~ that~ lll~dJe? Well ~qr.t do you !~ov~! ~hatI~ r~s~t~ bi-~d~e~ LL!ck~r StrJ_ke mea~ fL~-e tobacco. Say~ you're a smart little blr~) (~IIS~LES: Ill IOTOU IT~i) Now go away~ birdie, flz~ aw&Z, go~ go~ go~ fly a~ay... (~IRPS ~<~RiLY A~ID ~I @C~S INTO LOla I~i BDOOI, I") Well! (APPL~USm l~eil~ that's th~= cutest bi_~,d I ever sa~. All "~ight, Jackson, all ri~ quit ~tallin~ . .~at about thi~ her we got? Oh ,ves. GO ahead, shoot the apple off of Dom~ l~ad. I will, I will..Don~ put that apple back On. [lIT MO 1 0 ~2 L~ 6 ~9 .tT 0
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DCN: JACK: JAC£: IVORY : 0AC-~ -6- :/lg Ckay. No~ wstch me...DC$~, PU~ IT IN K}~ MIDDIZ OF vO~ Z~AD, D,ONIT TRY 'I0 -O,31k SPORT_V....AI1 right~w~,-cn~ ' thq~ kids... Ready., a iL~ - - - (S)5~P OF BOT~J, .?JI/~D ~ISTLE, ,i~]~ C~SH) MaL5% give Phil the d'Jre, JAOK~ YOL" B_R,O~ ~ WINDOW IN 7~0!R ~IG}~0RTS H'OL~E, ~od~y~ let's go i~s~de...l~y, you car~ stay ¢b.t he~'e and olay ~ith uh8 bow a~d ~row .... Co~.o or% kids[ dottle o~ l/~'e~!l go ~ the ~ouse. T]]~ ]~ 19~ TC~7 d~ BERLINrr ) RTHOI 02363~'1
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$ACK: ~IIL: JACK: YAHY: JACII: J?~ C K : JACK: JACK: ( ~,oO~D ROUTI}~ ) ~flell kid% whahEll we c~o now? don:t ~low~ Jac~o~1~ but ~Je~-~e bee~ hidl~r ir~ L~e house for tbm~ee days~ it ou4~tta be safe to go out n~-~. -~eah..And say Don~ it's abouh time you took that apple off you~ head. 0~~ put a feather "r it~ arid sell it ~o Hedda Hopner. Al%y~,'~a~ k~ds; ~ot"~ abOLlt ~oi~±g i"l lho den~ a~d weIll ~ave a little game oe .... (DOOR B~mZ~R) <~O~.aOnO T S at t[%@ aloof'. (2~II~ FOOTSTEPS A?FD DOOR OPENS) ~zes? Mr. Ber~-~ I~m Joe iVea~r~ of the United 2res% and ~ had an appointment ;~i~£ you today. Oh ~e~ yes~ ooze ~ight i2~, JACK: JACK: JACK: i didn't realize v,hat ti~{e it ~las..Just step right 1~ th~ libary. Oh, tha_~fi< you.. Of! KIDS~ YCU GO 3!~.D WI'~ffOUT I~ ~ ~,BE BUSI ~VOR A (~A~ ~00_q~YS A~ DOOR CLOSE) Sit dow~ won1% you? I'b~rks..oh, my whas a lovely lib--ary~ ~0 s_mh a beautiful colleotio~ oT oooks..And so ~sm_~r of them.. ~]-mt are ~hey~ Shakespeare? @'F~O 1 02363-~2
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JACK: ~ARNS : JACK: JAG:K: ~A RNS : JACI<: JACK: JA C K: K~ARNS: JAOK: JACK: :EvA RNS : ~O ~ ?~ ~ . No~ those are contracts I have with my cast,..Kow if i remember comreatly~ ,jou v~amted an interview about me and ELy r~dio program. Yes, b~.t I want to do this sto~y from a little different sr~le..I want to ~ about t~e members of you~ cast. K.~.,.Well what is "t you'd l~ke to k~ow? Well..you~ve beer_ or_ the air about fourteen years~ haven~ t you? That's _ght _"o~rteen years..I started when ! was twenty-Lwo~ which makes me e~actly thizty -- [..~ . I u~derstand~ ~,r~ ~en~y. @cod.. good.. ~(FO~ tell ~le~ how long ~_as Mary mlv~qgsUo~e been oi] ,joL~r orograuf? Mary?. ,Well Mary joineS me a± uer I~d been on the a_r- jusL abouZ three ~o~ths. i se~..An~ Dot: ~'~i]sor~_? Dcn'~ Well, .Don has ~ee~. with me a little over eleven )fears,.Phi! Harris, about te~,..And Lar~y ...... .i th~i: you ks~cv~ Lrne story of ~r~g. ~es, I heard it o:~ ~.l: Ar:~:ony~s program, Yes, yes..~:e Oecided i_~± my faro"., .Those are tke ne~ "#olt'J~es or± the top s~e_:...Ar_d as for ~ @&~eP i~ radio ire beo~ -- Tell ne about Rochester, your valet. H~n...Rochester~ Yes..h~ 2or~Z has he been :~lith you? £T~01 0236353
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JACK: JACK: JACK: JACK; JACk: #24 Wel] j RochesterI s been with me nine years., .Say, thatE s f-or~_y...what a coincidence...It's exactly nine years this month. Well zell me, Yr. Be~my, how did you happen to flnd Rochester in the first place? Well this is qulte a lor~ story, Mr. Kearns...You see nine years ago I ~as in New York...It was N~rch, 1936.,. One day zhe weather was so nice I decided to take a little drive. Uh huh. I was driv~-rg along Seventh Avenue arouILd 134th street (S'E~TS i© FADE) al] alone in my car a~d en,,oj~n~ ~b-e rmde mT~mnsely. (5]L%NSITION DFCSIC...~DAICK FADES INT0... (T~FFIC NOISES %liD fJJT0 ~OTOR) I G0 RC~J~NG I~%R AND FAR 0H 11% DA DA DA DA DA (AUTO I{CHN Z'~ICE IN ~--XT~ D4 DA DA DA DI DADA (AUTO HORN TWICE) an, ~here~s nothing like an ~ur.o rlde on a f~y like this.. ,Gosh, hey! ZL~e flies...Here it is 1936 and ! bo<%hz this oar ±n 1924...And it was only ten years ol~ ~;he~ I gcL ~..,Yes slr~ I ~-derst&nd %he :~!odel after thls one b~d %he crank in /ront .... Oosh~ what Won~ t they th~nk of next?...!Vell I guess I~iI step on bhe gas and let her out. (LOUSY ~,[0TOH UP., .COUGI~S AND SPUTTerS .... COUPLE 0F GUNSHOTS...MORE COUGHING AND SPUTTERING...MOTOR DIES WITH DUCK CALL) Oh, darn it, At stalled again. I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS CAR ~D SELL IT TO TA~ FIRST JKNKY~D I G~N --- 19]')40"I 023635~%
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JACK: JACK: JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: RCCHESTER: JACK: ROCHESIEH: JACK: RCC~S~F~i: JACK: ROCHESTER ; 0ACK: -lO- #24 (LOUSY MOTOR ST~diYS UP) }[~ ha ~ha~ it always works...Well, I might as well get ~,o ing. (~4CTOR UP~ AUTO K~RN...MOTCR FADES TO DO) Ah, what & day! (SINGS) IN ~q N]KBtRY ~%XWELL CAR I GO RO~'/NG NEAR /aND FAR OH ~% DA ~ DA DA DA (LOUDEST CRASH PfSSIBLE...ENDING WITH I~CK CALL) V~LL liOW DO YOU ll--~ THAT~. • • .THIS IS AlL YOUR FAULL ~ FAULT~ (APP USB) YOU THINI( JUST BECAUSE YOU DBIVE A TAXI YOU CA/~ SI}ASH 7~'TO C T}~R PEO~LV~IS CARS ~D FORGET ALl ABOUT TP~ ~%AFF!C RULES ,%liD REGULATIONS. ]~ut Mister - I/ELL IIM G011~G ?0 SD~ YOU AND YOUR TAXI OC~TANY FCR E~q~RY PENi~f: 5 WCRrH 0~ I~IM~GL TO I.~f CAR BECAUSE IT ,VAB yOUR FAULT. BUT ~,ISTL~. I WAS PARF~D WHEN YOU HI2 ~Tf TAXI~ YcU -mere...p&rke!? Ch, ~n 0H! !.~eil &n~&y, this WaS your f&ult as much as r<Lne~ and -- iht* gonna see -- (VERy Si%~ATI~TICALLy) Gee, Mister; look doom there on the f]oor...I'm awfully sorry the collision killed your oat...the poor thing is... Tfi&T'S NOT MY CAT, IT S LIPP_ED OF~ ~__~...Now I'm goZn~ to sue your t~xi company...let me see your d2/ver: s license. P~TH01 0236359;
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~t ROC~S~ : JACK: ROCHES~ER: JACK: ROC~STH~ : JACK: JACK: AMOS : AMOS: ~Dy: ANDY: AM0 g: -ll- #24 Okay ..... Here it is. Hz~n....Rochester Van Jones...five feet ten inches... one hundred and fifty five pounds...thirty-one years old.., brunet te ? .... Hnm~. Now ~y I please see your license, Mister? Here. And remember my name and address, beoause I~ going to sue yout. :guee me ~. Yes,,.I'm going to take you into cou~t and get every cent you've got in the world, YOU C~/~ REACH IN ~ POCKET AND DO THAT! Wells you better th/~ik it over...and I'm vJilli-ng to be reasonable...i£ you want $o arbitrate and settle this out o£ court, I'll be home all afternoon. (~%USIC ~NSITIOH ) Say...Andy do you think that new taxi driver you hired will work cut. I donI t know, Amos. Doggone, I don't see why you had to bdme a driver ': the first place...We only got one cab and I can drive that. Listen Amos, when you roaches our position in the business world, you has got to have peoples workln' for ya. I can' t see where we done reached no position though. Amos, does you realize that last month we lost less money than any month since we has been in business? Yeah, Yeah, but there's a reason for that...Last month onlF has twenty-eight C~ys in it. RT~01 0236356
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ANDY: ABIOS : ANDY: A~OS: ANDY: AMOS: A~¢IOS : ANDY: R OCP~S T~q : AMOS: R0C ~ST~ : AMOS : ROCHESTER: AMOS : ANDY: -.12- #24 Yeah, that's right...you know, Amos, if we can find a month short enou~q, we are liable to break even. But Andy, I still think we should wait till we stark ~kln' money before we go around hirin' people. No, no...people is the thing...If we ain't got nobody workin~ for us and we go ban~t, there ain' t gonr~ be nobody sorry for us but us...And us ain't enough people to absorb that. Well Andy, we a~-n' t banl~upt yet. I ~aqow, but we is gettln' into those lo~ months. Well I still thlr/< that I should get out there and drive that cab myself. (DOOR OPE~,IS ) Here comes Rochester, your new driver, (DOOR OLOSBS) Well...hello there, Rochester..E~; was business this morniug? Bang up, gentlemen, B~NG UP: That' s good....Wb~t did you collect? A BUSTED TAIL-LIGHT, A BENT FE~R, AND A E~JKD CAT WITH A PART IN T~ I,~IDDLE. YOU mean you done hag. a accident? No no..the other driver had the accident...but I was unfortunate enough to be too close to the scene. This is had...Who was it you had the accident with? A man named Jack Benny. Jack Benny?...That must be the radio comedian. If it is, this is really bad...Hels supposed to be the cheapest nma% in the world. ATe01 023635P
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AIfDy: A~$: A~Y" ANDY: ROCH~ST~ : .4NDY: A~DY: ANTDY : ROCHESTF/~ : A~qDY: KI%IGFISH: A~DY: KINGFISH: ANDY: -13- ~4 The cheapest man in the world? Yeah...l heard he lives so close to h~s money that even his skin feels like an outsider% Sure enough? Oh yeah and I also hesmd that he~s got a zipper on his wallet that has yet to make its first zip. ~b~at a m~n he must be! Oh he can't be so bad, gentlemen...In fact, me sald he:d be at his hotel all afternoon if we vr~ted tc arbitrate. If we wanted to arbi-who? The F~n s~id arbitrate! Arbitrate?.,.~!i if that ain't a co-lnsolence .... Arbitrate happens to be the one word in ~he Hp~l!sh language with ~ieh I ain't familiar. V%~y don't you Look it up i~i the dictionary, Audy~ Yeah, that's what I'll do...I got the dictionary rlght here... (PA~ZS HmNG Tt~~) Arbitrate ...... H ...... R .... What's the second letter? YOU AIN'T EVEN GOT THE FIRST! I k-now .... I kr~ow...I'll get the first later, I'm werkin' on the secor_~...Now let ~ see -- (DOOR OPENS) Well, hello there boys, how's everythlng goin'e Not so good, Kir~flsh...Rocbester here done had an accident in the taxicab. Well thatls bad, bad. Worse than that...the man he accldented with is gonna arbitrate h4~u. ~T~O~ O2363S8
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KINGFISH: AR~Y: RCCI~STIIH : KINGFISH: ROCHESTER: ANDy: ROCHESTER: KINGFISH: ANDY; KINGFISH: A~DY: ROCHESTER: KINGFISH: A~y: AMOS: ANDY: Oh oh...that aln't good. Well, how do you ~ow...was you ever arbitratcd? Gentlemen, I don~t think you kr.ow the meaniD~ cf the word...let me see that dictionary....Now, I think it begins with an "A" -- (PAGES BEING TURIn) Let's see .... Arbitrarily .... Arbitrary,.f~qE IT IS... ARBITRATE...TO ACT AS A~I ARBITER~ Well...that's logical. TO ~£DIATE~ Ye~, well that ain't told us nothln' yet. TO ACT AS AN LZ,31LRE! "~L...TH~ ~T~ }/ADDS TO PLAy BASEBALL. ~ No no, Kir~fish, listen you is thin, in' of urqpirc... this here is ur~,ire. 7~ii what's the difference~ ~II~ there's a baseball t~pire..the Britis~ ~mpire... and ~he U~ire Sta~e Building...Now there is ~ee ¢nt~re!y dlffer~t wor@s. Here it is ...ARBITT~TE...TO SKTTI~E A DISPUTE..That's i~, gen~lemen...l think ~r. Benry wants to settle th~s dispute. Oh i knowed that all the time .... Welb Kip~fish, y~.~ better come alougw~thus.,,We gotta go see the man that Rochester acci0ented with. YeaH...You go alor~ in ~ place Klngflsh...I better take the taxl over to the. shop and fix it. Okay, we better go...Aud remember,.now, ...when we sees the man..let's all arbitrate in the same di~ectlor,. ATe01 0236359
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...... 4. /,- KINGFISH: A~DY: ROCHESTER : ANDY : JACK: ANDy : JACK: JACK: AKDY: JACK: A~DY: JACK; AhDY: OACK: -15- #24 Yeah, we'll have Go watch that .... COme on, let's go. (MUSIC T~ZSITIC[~ ) Here we is, ~ingfish. ~...This is the right place, ainJt it, Rochester? That's "mhat it says here on the caz, d. Good. (DOOR BUZZER ..... DOOR OPENS) Yes? ,~,'lr. Be~_L~j, I is Ardrew H. Brown, presidentj ch!ef executive, and general manner of The Fresh-Air Taxicab Company, ineorpolated. Oh yes .... you r2.en are here about the accident...~ome right in. (DCCR CLgSES) I pl, es1&~ that y~_~ driver has informed you of the circumstances, and my position in this case. Yeah, he donc tna~.,.In fact, wc has discusse~ this case in opeD. ~:eetlr~~ with the stockholders, the other officers of the inco~polation, and our legal advisers, a~d we doric come to the cor.c~usiet~ that fifty dollars is ~ fair settlem.ent. Fifty dollars~- ..... )Tell, I .... >fell., .okay. ~h, you is a fair man~ Mr. Benny .... Just make that check payable tc An~ew H. Browri. All right, I'll... 2~AT?...~.~E PAY YOU .... ~;h~ ~U' q£ GOT TC PAY ~! You take over, Kir~fish...I'm all agb~trated out. Now I mean b~,sinees .... I'll turn this rm~tteP over to a lawyer. ~TH07 0236360
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J~ KINGFISH: ANDY: KINGF I SH : JACK: ANDY: JACK: ANDy: JAOK: ROCI~EST~: JACK: KINGFISH: A~Y: KINGFISH: ANDY: La'~-er? .... Here's my card. • ? I~alt a mlnute, Kl[~.ish, you is on our side. I is? .... Oh ye~ yeah, I is on your side..that:s ~ight. Now look, yo~ boys pay me for the damage to my car, or I'ii take you to court. Just a minute there, ~. Benny, you're actin' kind of hasty... ,Yo~, ~.in't even let us tell our side of ~he story. What? You don't see nobody's side of the story but your ow~. Walt a F~inl;te ..... ~re you insir~uatlng that I 'm narrow-minded, ~rmeasonable, and hard-headed? THAT'S I:~AT IfiE SAID, ~AT'S 19~T TI~ ~ SAID, !~ ~©ST ~VPHATIC~J.!X SA~rD THAT. l~ell I can see ,To ~ ~ not gettir~ anywhere...I'll h%ve my lawy6r see you in the morning arJ -- Just :Uinute, h-. Benny, hold it please...Oh say An-~y, come here ..~'~ lotta do a l~tt]e conferenc~r~.. I[o no, Rochester, you stay where you is .... this is just for the execvt~ves. Yem4 Rochester, "~'e'il put out a bul?etin for the emDloyees.. (LO?~S VOICE) .... Uh...what is it, Kir$fish? Look here ...I yast goL an ![lea .... It looks like we is gonna have to Day 14r. Benny, an~ we ain't got no cash. Lrn huh. RTH01 0236361
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KINGFISH: ~DY: KINGFISH: ANDY: KINGFISH: ANDY: KINGFISH: JACK: KINGFISH: JACK: E]~GFISH: JACK: ANDy: K~GFISH: JACK: ANDy: E]~GFISH: -17- #24 NOW I notice that Mr. Benny came to the door himself, and that means he alu't got ~o gentlemanIs gentleman. You knOW, valet. Uh h~h. And Rochester, as the present situatlou proves, alntt such a good dvlv~r for your tax~eab. Do yea follow me? 0h..you mean you want to Dalm Rochester off on Mr. Benny? Right. That's a good idea. Yeah..if we can settle this case by givi~' him Rochester as a valet, 111be heGd~ches with one asnlrln...But llsten..how we gonna get ~. Benny to need a valet? Leave it to me, leave it to me...(LOUD) Dh ~. Benny -- Yes? We h~s finished our confe~enclug, and is agreed to ~ake a settlement in your favor. Good. Now I has my witness here, which is A~dy, and if you will have your ~ come in and be your witness, I -- Valet?...I donTt have a valet~ You douJt...have a valet? A man of your social position? A man of your p?estlge? Well ~- No valet! Why..that's unbelievable. A man as famous as yo~ is in the entert61nm~nt world? Why I ~qderst~d that even Fred Allen has somebody t~t waits on him hand and foot. I~ T~O 1 0236362
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JACK: ANDY ~]{D KI~£GFZSH : JACK: ROCHESTER : A~NDY: JACK: KINGFISH: JACK: ~DY: KING~ISH: JACK: RCCHESTER: JACK: ROCHESTF~R: JACk: ROCHESTER: JACK: Thmt's his wife.~...Am~v~ay; itfs ~ot ~.y fault that I ha, veu% got a valet...l~ve always wa~ted oa% but tha r~ght ~u ne~r o~me a!o~g. I~'S HERE N@~d What ? GF~T~EK~ GENTI~...STOP FOK~I]9_~I A CIRCI~ £R0~[D iv~! Qulet, Rochester.,q~let. ,a~d shake ha~ds with Four aew ~uoss • _No__t so fast| C~E CN, ~D~; IA~ GOTTA GO.7 N(~J WAIT A ~I}ZITE! WAIT A MI~TE! GOODB_VE~ ~L~. ±~iTI. GOOD LUCK TO YOU~ ROCh~ISTER. ~mmm..Well Rocheste~ ~s !ou~ as you~e my valet mc~J; Zoo ~ay ss well get busy...Yot~ c~z put th~se shirts tha, t just cam~ back from th~ lauudrF i~ my top bumeau ~awor. is ~his it~ ~h~. Benuy? Tbg~t ~ s it. (DRA~/ER BEING 0PF$!ED) Kee tee bee bee. LOOK l}I l~S DRA]I~ER, YOUR DEAD CAT }~] Ne~er mlud that~ and just fo~ th~,t~ you cam% h&ve ~% dttesday off' (~Ry SHORT TRANSITION MUSIC ) ~] .W0! 0236363
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JACK: JACK: I<ERN: DON : Amd t~, Mr, Kcra, is how I fouEd Rochester° Tha~:s very laterestiag...ITm sore i cau get a good story out of it. Thanks very much, Mr. Beamy° youtre welcome. Youlre welcome...Goodby~ Goodbye. (noon SI~S) (APS~A~SS) Jack will be b~ck i~ a minute, but first here is my good friend, F. E. Boome. RF~'-/,O'~ 0236364-
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.~OC. ~- - T 1 , RUYSPA~L. CLAY: SSAFSUT~ : RU~/SDAEL: T ICK~R : RUYSDA£ L : ELVAR : ~ImD. Tag #18) JACK B~q~ rR~RAM ~,4 6TH REV. (~ITCHOVER TO NEW YORK FOR CLOSING COmmERCIAL) V CLOSING C GV~tERC la L - SOLD Mr. Floyd Greene C~ay, i~depe~dent tobacco wareheusema~ cf Versailles, Kentucky, said: A tr~n goes by wb~t he Sees and by what he kLows. I See Lucky Strike bay fine tobacco and I knew thet fine tobacco means a fine cigarette. That rs why frye smoked Luckles for thirteen years. Independent tobacco experts llke F~r. Clay know that it takes fine tcbaccc to ~eke a fine cigarette! And Lungs r_~ r_~mean~ fine o~. SC smoke that smoke cf fine tohacoe - ~cky Strike. T~e famous tobacco auctioneers heard cn tcDig~t's program were ~r. F, E, Baone of Lexington, Kentuc~- (CHANT - SOLD~,!RICAN) and Mr. L. A. (Speed) Riggs~ of Goldsbore~ ~crth 3arolir~ (CHANT - ZOLD AN[ERICA!~). Basil Ruysdael speaking for Lucky Strike. <2 ~ 3~ 2 & 3) - Lucky ~D~fi~___~e~-q-b~ "- those are five words that add ~p to rea ll, deeD-down smoking enjoyment. SO smoke that smoke of f~ne to~_~i L~cky Strike. (~ITCHCVER TO HOLL~%'00D ~R JACK BENNYSIGN-0FF) F~TH01 0236365
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( AG) Well folks~ thi~ ~v!t~ds ~p atlobhor broadcas%~ ~,~±~ ~Jve~il be ~ith you next Su~d~y r~lght ab the same ti~e... ,~earz~ile~ I ~m~t to tbz,~k 2~os aad Amdy fo~ appeP, rlng with Us tonight,..Goodr_Ight, folk~ • ~T~01 0236366
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RUTHRAUFF RYAN Inc. ADVERTISING RADIO DIVISION P~BROADCAST: 9:30-10:00 p_'~, F~T STA: K?O, i<0~0, R%'J, KEQ, KGW, .KFSD~ KFI. CLIENT: BROADCAST: ifCC~ STRL~I~ - L.3./k®F.~. DATE: I~'~.I:CK 73, i9%~ PROGRAM: NETWORK: ,~L~C 'D}i@ JACK BENNY~ PROGP~a~ DEE~AR: RIGGS: RO-ZSDAEL: ~UYSD#~L: Dk~LAR : ROYSDAEL: I OPiuM!N@ I~;~ YOP~( TI~ ~ACK BELfrY ~HCGR~VI.~ ~!u&lity of product is essen~i&l to contiauir~% success. (C~I~ - SOLD ~&~RICA~) ~c fully f~,cked~ so free a~.d easy on the d~aw! (2 ,:': % 2 C~ )) Riser ~rou &re] Yes~ sir.~ Luckv Bt-~ike me&ms fine tobacco -- so ~'uuI~d., so fi:~m; so fully p~cked~ so f~ee and easy on the dz'&w.~ (MC~) 0236967
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FIRST HOUTI}~ DON: RO0~STER: JACK: ROC~STER: JACK~ RCCHLSTER: JACK: ROCHESTER: -%- #t~5 (A_~ER Ce~V~RCIAL, ~JSlO UP AND L~&DES) T~E LUCIiY SgRI!~ PR0@RAM..STARRING JACK B-E}F~,~/.. A{I~{ M~HY I~rlNGSTO!~, rHIL HARR!S~ ROCI[ES~ER, IARRY 8T~HS~ - yrr AND '%0URS TRt~ DON WILSON. (APPLAUSE - }J~$iC %rp ABTD FADF, S C trf ) K AND NOW~ LAD~S A_~9 CENTLEI~N. ~LET:S G0 0UT TO ~.O~_ !g AL0}[~ IN T~ I~TC}IE}r PREPAR~@ 8R]~\I~I\ST~ (TF~NSITION ~gST_C ) ~ ~rrmmm~ look at that .... M~m~s~m~-~ ~,~ that table sure does look aD~et!zdng...A !a~e g!~ss of ora~±e juioe ...a bowl of cornflakes ~nd cream...two fried eggs, su_nr_¥slde up~ a bh±ck slice of ham~, .~ piping hot cup of coffee ~d ~" " honey-oovered 9l~g]~sh ~iPfins., ~LL...NOW i B~EB ~%IC{ SO~/~ TEA A}~ TCAST SOR ?~. ~-,~,~/~S BHE&I~AS~ ., .I th~nk I~ll give him a treaz tod~y~ I~!l sc-~pe the toast.,.Yo~ he likes to do it h!r~se!f~ bhat~s the only exe~c~se he gets~ (OFF MII£E~) (}7[~S FIRST STPAI~ OF LOVE, IN SLOOH) Oh oh~ here comes the bcss nO~o (~i~Y BR!~Zy) GOOODDD morning~ Rochester. Now !et~s see. ~ .~,¢hat ~ve ,~re got for...ot~m_ge juic~ corr_f!&kes~ barn and eggs...Rochesser~ what did you m~ke such a big breakfast fom~ you kmo~ I~m or- a diet. Doggo::e~ that's right. Now We ear.~ lel~ all this food go to waste,. ,You ~de it and you~l! have to e~t it yourself. Oh boss, don~t bc so me&n to me. /~ T~O'I 02~6368
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JACK: ROCHESTER: JACK: P~C~IESTER~ ZACK: ROOHZSTER: ~ACK: ROCHESTER: ROCHES%~. : ,TACK ROC_~STER: JACk(: JACK: '2D m~rning ± come do~u¸ a~d ~ind the same big o~,eak/~st. ~OW~ .~o~ O~i~ yo~ ~C@ s~ch a mistakc~ Well-- - Aad what% that strawberry ~r~ca~ on top "o~ ~he¸¸ T~kT 'S T-.~ DESSERT FOR THE ~ZSTAKE • '~ GO~ I,/~ FOR DINNER! ~t~,.w~t ~id ~u s~y~ Roo~est~r~ Disre~rd it~ ~ss~ d~s re-~arc] ~t~ ~eq~ just dcn1~ let it hap=e~ again,.~l'll bare thi~ i~s like charcoai,~iv~ m~ a knlfe~ TIll scraoe i~. Cooo~ the tcast ~s hot.~Yo~ hold lt~ ~oches~e~. H~r~. I got lt: scrar~ ~-i.~a~. (SOL~'~ SCRAFING OF TCAST,,~ABOITT T~N SCRApES~ (ON CUE~) T~ke it ea~y~ i~oss: ~0U~RE do~ TO ~I Oh,, .well r~over ml~-~ ~'iI bav~ one of t~ose E~7~sh r~uffins,~,.Say~ that look~ good~ ±t~s ~t hon~y s~7 I That's a b~e~ heE~ still ~crklnr or~ it! Oh ~@s...GO ~-~ O~@~ go ~ ~ a~. ,~DING OUT ) Well how do yo~t !!ke¸ those Cai~fo~la be~s. ,.theF open the w~ows themselves .... Rochester~ It~l have my tea DOW • AT:'~O'~ 0"236369
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JACK : ROC }~STAR : ROC~S~SR : PHIL : RCC#~STdR : P~il L: ROC~STZR : P~IL: ROC HE STXR : JACK: PHIL: JA0 K: P~L: R OCHdSTER : -3 - #~5 Never mlnd.,¥ou enswer the door, fill ~et t~ tea myself, Yes sir. (~ V0oPsT~Ps ~ DOOR OP~S) Oh hel~, Nr, I~rris, Hello Rochester, is I~r. Beuny...0h, oh~ I~m sorry, Rochester, I dldc~t ~ow. Didnrt know what? Well, that black band youlre wesrlnj smo~nd your sleeve. Oh h.~..~. 'BENIFf MAI~S ME W~aAR IT ~VERY TI~ HE LOBES T~ ACAD~4Y AW~u~D. Well why does ~'r. Benn) take it so hard? A lot of ~ctors loss it. I ~'l, BD~ ~'S B~N LOSINi IT SLNCE NI~ET~EN I%~H~D AND 1~'~0 : (FADING IN) ROCHESTER, WHAT'S ~PING...Oh, hello Phil. Hi ya, Jac~on° °SO yoa lost the Academy Award again, huh? Yeah, CPosb~ %,on Jr..And yo~ know, Phil, itls gonp/~ be hard to hate him, he~s s~ch a nice ~sy. ~/oe..~ybe I can hate one of his klds...But l~ll tell you o~e th~ng, Phil, ~ dldnlt mlnd losIP~ the award this year, bu~ Y certainly %hlnJ( i should b~ve WOn it when I m~de thzt picture, "HeoPze Wsshlngton Slept Here. '~ "George Washi[~$en Slept Here"..Yeu dldn~t even coos close that year, did yea, Jackson? C_~.o~ GOT MORE VCZZS TI@~N HE DIDJ ~TH01 02363P0
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JACK : JACK: R 0C_~23STDR : JACK : PHIL JACK : PHI L: P _rL: ,/ACE: PHTL: JACK: pIilL: PBI L : JACK~ -4- ,]'~5 Rochester.~ TIN-, nMD Cf,Jla'~ 2f SECOKD! Never Jl!~gk.~ap_c] bring Mro JI~myis some coffee. 0~y. PhiL, w~at brings you o~i~ here so early? Well Jacksou~ i 5or grs~,t uev~,~ foi~ you..Yo~, k~,~ [zcw yo~ ap.d ~'y ~v~ always bee~. Dicklur or. me for r~c-ni~r -~,~ou~i a~d wasbitt~ my time? Yeah. Well~ sta_~ti~_E today X~m gpno.a settle do~-i~ ~.¢I be a Eignified buslae~s ~. Weil~ coagratulatioas~ Phil..what dis you do? hou~b_t a saloon. Wl-at ? £ou i~ow, a ~ig~t club. Oh a ~i~ht club~ thatls ~ti£'fe~e~t. ¥~aL..Ne a~d T~ap/~le~ ~ay guisar pL%ye~ are r~.nui~g It~ a~.o. bhin~s are £oiD_~ g~eat~ J'acksot&.o .i~st night ou~ b~rteI~d~r was so busy rllxlm~ bhem ~L~i~ks he did~:t No kiddiu: Yeah and to~_igbN~ oug~ta be evem bette-% w~~ the cus%D~e~s in! Oh~ oh ~ ~ee.. ,$o yo~ ~nd F~_kie bought a ulght club~ eh? What are you goan=~ c~,li ~he pl~ce? FITHO'I 023~ 3 pI
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~- F{IL: llJal!3 I ainlb ~ot s. a2.ms lot~ i9 yet; b~8 wol!~ _T got & s lozao-. JACK: A s !ozaa? PIiK~: Ye~h,~ iilc~ Doff~Is Uave-~..tmelr sTog~a is W}~ D:~ ELT~2 C~q~ TO I~T. JAOK~ Uh h~h. JACK: Phil~ are you c-~zy? IV_.e you ~oi~,Z to call Four C J.S a60[.18 i~Z SW~Oe ? P~IL: '¢C ~se4 EOU GOTT\ CLOSE AT ~_WZEqE~ JACIC~QN~ IT D@,~T ),'D~i NO D!F~ARiNCE U[{aT ~0U CALL I~. J'~CK: \~elL ~,~o my a6vioa~ Phil...Yau~v@ ~ot ~ ~reat oL*portu~ity" ~o cea oo.siy~ess :~n...auC if you want to be s~ccessfui~ r~.~_ your ~i@zt o!ub ic~ a, ~eal hi~P c~ass way. P_.~IL: Don~t ~orry~ Jacic~o~ Z~ i] h~adlo the jolnz ~i~ht. ROOf~]ST~R; ;~e2els your' ooffGe~ ~P. -{z~mis, pHIL: That_ks ~ Roci:, (CHT~ CN RCCK..<@~ I~{II£1) P~IL: ;:ey~ ~,'l:~tls t~:~t poise~ J--ocksem? JAOK: Oh taa~ :s the so~i!)tor "~o~l<ia~ ups bs~i~s..l wis: he ~d fiuish that st~.bu.e of me a~ ~o bsok %o Salmt Joe. Howls the coffoe~ Phil? PiIIL: @welb Jackson. He7~ let's t~rn oI~ bLe r~dlo am£ see whe,% I s OY~ ]ACE: Ol~ay. (CLICK OF DIAL. ,oSE~\TIC) (~SZCAL P~CORD P"=-,~ED AT SQLr~9~L ~'ITK S~EED~ WITX BELLS ~i:D CLI,SHOTS) ~THO'I 02363F2
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__--~ : :~ a. ~= _ 7 ...... ~D3L : JAOK: saEL : BFA : JACK~ NELSON : -S- 'I}~T WAS SPIKL JOKES PYJ~_~G Ul~'T I~@ LOVE YOU TO~Ni~ ~ir~... (SOFTLY) r~e~ now~ ±of<s,~ I a mess&go on bet~,If of my spomso>, "The Bleec!i~ Heart Finab~ce Cam~,mF .... r~emds~ do you c~ed momey?...Codld you use a litt]e ext-~s cash? Do yo~ want a loatl of teri~ flfby oi~ a hor~rerl do!le, rs? Yoa do?... (~UGi±$ SOF~LY~ T}_~N LOLq3ER~ T~{m~ ,PETS HIL%RIOUS ) £mm...Get so~ethirlg else~ Phil, wl~l you? ,/ (~K£ D~dVP,TiC) it seems llke ages sleoe I've heeed Lis voice., .g wccdeP if it will be tae same v~luen i ,_ea~ it aS&to_,..l taunt stand this walti~.s~ ta±s "azJ. t~e., ~>!s $'.si;ez:se...i c&> &~,.a86 }~e&;" h~< ~ow .C'l I f_b:s h~ i,~sg_t B GP-LI~ _~...I OOA1Ei'lt S~ilr:~ qta i '2.'~L! g... '-'e~ i~rs so0~. is ~-] ]~71 ):~CK, .±J.ve LC'GO~C,S..'Lt'.C s o;~:&~, . ;'f'£'~ee z i£ %~.~ <'o-;~- 5JS:!Ack. (S~C-8) @RL-KW bATCII Tl%:~. A~chh~ ~ICK TOOK! Say; she was ¢ic!_de~'~ul. • .What a ~a~t fo~' £1~fi~...%et &~osher st&flea, Phil~ will ~'oa? (iv OPa S%%910 ) ~ave you bee~ hit bZ &~ a~oi~ohile lately?. ,Do yoR feel full dOWZ'?..A~o ZOO1 ~otti~ fa%?..A~e Fo~ begimr~inS to l&~E~zh & ]2@~t/~oh?, ,Ab@ th@ 8p~0(98 %@tw@sD_ ¥OAD teeth suffe~!ng from ml~dls-ase spread?. ~if ~om []ave t[%ese~ or &mF othe~ &i!memts, ~[ly mot t~y $ymmz~a~n~athy Soothir_g Sy~bp. ..Remember] folks, S)~a%hy spelled h~ck~aeds is Yita~,mls.,Y-H-~-A-P-M-Y-So ~T~01 02363PS
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__--~ : :~ a. ~= _ 7 ...... ~D3L : JAOK: saEL : BFA : JACK~ NELSON : -S- 'I}~T WAS SPIKL JOKES PYJ~_~G Ul~'T I~@ LOVE YOU TO~Ni~ ~ir~... (SOFTLY) r~e~ now~ ±of<s,~ I a mess&go on bet~,If of my spomso>, "The Bleec!i~ Heart Finab~ce Cam~,mF .... r~emds~ do you c~ed momey?...Codld you use a litt]e ext-~s cash? Do yo~ want a loatl of teri~ flfby oi~ a hor~rerl do!le, rs? Yoa do?... (~UGi±$ SOF~LY~ T}_~N LOLq3ER~ T~{m~ ,PETS HIL%RIOUS ) £mm...Get so~ethirlg else~ Phil, wl~l you? ,/ (~K£ D~dVP,TiC) it seems llke ages sleoe I've heeed Lis voice., .g wccdeP if it will be tae same v~luen i ,_ea~ it aS&to_,..l taunt stand this walti~.s~ ta±s "azJ. t~e., ~>!s $'.si;ez:se...i c&> &~,.a86 }~e&;" h~< ~ow .C'l I f_b:s h~ i,~sg_t B GP-LI~ _~...I OOA1Ei'lt S~ilr:~ qta i '2.'~L! g... '-'e~ i~rs so0~. is ~-] ]~71 ):~CK, .±J.ve LC'GO~C,S..'Lt'.C s o;~:&~, . ;'f'£'~ee z i£ %~.~ <'o-;~- 5JS:!Ack. (S~C-8) @RL-KW bATCII Tl%:~. A~chh~ ~ICK TOOK! Say; she was ¢ic!_de~'~ul. • .What a ~a~t fo~' £1~fi~...%et &~osher st&flea, Phil~ will ~'oa? (iv OPa S%%910 ) ~ave you bee~ hit bZ &~ a~oi~ohile lately?. ,Do yoR feel full dOWZ'?..A~o ZOO1 ~otti~ fa%?..A~e Fo~ begimr~inS to l&~E~zh & ]2@~t/~oh?, ,Ab@ th@ 8p~0(98 %@tw@sD_ ¥OAD teeth suffe~!ng from ml~dls-ase spread?. ~if ~om []ave t[%ese~ or &mF othe~ &i!memts, ~[ly mot t~y $ymmz~a~n~athy Soothir_g Sy~bp. ..Remember] folks, S)~a%hy spelled h~ck~aeds is Yita~,mls.,Y-H-~-A-P-M-Y-So ~T~01 02363PS
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-!:j- I~LSON: JACK: JACK: JA@K: JACK: DON: .IAO~: ladles a~g gent]omen~ our smest sta,~~ will be b~t eminc~ib somguvriter~ ),laxwell langley. ~who will play hls o~s compositior_~ the cs~<~ent song bit ertit!ed, "~tATSE T~ A'~T~G~ MffIiZ~ DADDYIS ~AD]Z~G A SPeeDy LIFE". Hey, that's a good song, Phil; Z must lear!_ it on t~se vmolln. (S~G$} ~.ISE T~3 AWN]~@~ ~IIOTI~R~ C:ADS~ DADDY~ ~,TO A S/~y ~"°o .You i~ow it's third on the Hit P~,ade. (DOOR ~CZZL{ ) Tnei~e ~s somebody ab the o.oo~..Sh~t off the o~dio~ Phi/. (CLICK CF DL~L) CO~J ~N. i~0 IS IT? (0PF) IT'8 I~, ~ACKo 0i{ RELL0 DON, CC~ ON I~¢o J/\Cl[: DOI~[ : PKIL: JACK: DON: JACK: DON: JAC;<: D0~[: JACK: Hello ~ '- ~ Wh~t &re ~ou doing ~?ou~d this wa~. Dor~ Well~ ~o~ ~0w ~ ~eut ~ ~ little '~vy; Jack.~So every mo~img I go fo~ & five-mile horseback rJcLe. Oh. I ~s out th_~s v~y~ SO I thocght I'd just d~o~ in. Good~ ~ood°..Who~els your t-o~se? 0h~ he~s lying do~ on your f~ont lawa° Oh..Woll tbs ~est ~i%1 do i~ good. RTHO~, 02363 p~
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-P- #25 JACK~ R 0C}~ST7£~ : JACK: ROC~STER: JACk: ROCflES~R: JACK: JACK: ROCP~%ER: JACK: DON: JACK: DOI~: JACK: D01q: JACK: ICdIL: DON: JP~K: PHIL: Say; boss -- i just got ,-nto the sculpbo-"~s moon; £md he~s ali!osb tb*ous"- with your st~t~ae. He 187 Ye~b~ but you aJ.n~t gonna ].ike your expmessio'l. ~i-F. .l~s ~e ~iot m.e fro~ing om smiling? YOU CAi~ TAKE Y0~ CHOICE~ I~D GA%7~] YOU Td~, ]F~dDS. TWO h~ads .f YEAH...YOUl~ HOLD~~ 0~Y] CF I~ iL7 YOUR 7~%P. 011 for b.es~ve~Ts sa~e, YOU L00i[ i~¢~ YOJI~ G0~[I B~/L~NG~. Well IIm 8]olnA first up thence and tell that guy to -- WAIT A I~{llfo~E~ JACK: I ~ili~g[ T~qAT IS W0}~DEP~UI, o V£mat ~ s s o wondom ~ll &botlt t',VC h~&d ~ ? YOU CAN SM0I~ TUO LDC~ gTR~S AT T~ $~ TAME. We].L~ [Jill be -- Ab~ ~L~}~EE~( TzIOSE D_~:LIGL~FUL PCFFS ONE MOCTH CA}~ SAY "L%@T"~ A]:,3J '±'F£2 ,3'2:{~R 0_',% " ~ ,r,,, ~AJ A~[8~,~R J~Y SDRE~ YOU BD-I; TI{A~'S RICfI-~ LCC~ STR~ I~ANS F~,~ TCBACCO". All z'igi!b; all z'iglfo..But w.~on t~ soul@hot is finisheC ~ith m~ 8t&tuo, ~t oett81~ oe tie way = w~it it. Hey~ Jackson; i go~ta z, um along now, see yov. late:,. llr:! going tco~ ~ok. 171&it a mi~-~e; fcllows~ IIll go o<b with you. (FAY1 FOOTST]IPS; DOOR OPENS) 8o lor~ daoksor_. ~THOI 023637'~
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DOI~ : JACK: ROC--~STER: YACK: I~L: JACTg: I¢SL: JACK: ~L: JACK: JACI~; Goodby% Jack. So Iof~g~ fellows~°.Gee~ itls so nice out I t~ink Zrll take a little J.'alk. o .OH ROC~I~ST~R, fILL BE BACK J2~ A L2fTIE '~IILE. (OFF) Oi~Y~ BOSS. (DOOR SI~'4S, FOC£STEPS ON WAI~) • ILhls is really a nice @ay...(H[~ LOVE ~ BLOC~JI) .... Iflell~ well~ look wme~s ~_ere. I ~ve~It see~ y,~ i~ q~li~G a wl%l!e. Come he~e~ ccme b.e~e. (~.r~s. o .~:~ cR~s) (@oss o~ CRYT~C,) Oh t~at .... Don~t T,~k8 ~$ so l~rc].~ i~ssie...I C.Zdn~t win either, Bette~ luck ne:~t jre~.r. ~TH01 02~]63P6
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,TACK; JACK: JACK: JACK: EDITH; JACK: JACK; KEA~NS: J~K: KEARNS: JACK: KEARNS; JACK: JACK: I~a~NS: ~5 ( FOOTSTEPS ST@P) I guess !Ill ~urn around and go b,,~ok,~, ( ~OTSTEFS CO NT I~.~VE ) %rell...he~ co~.es that ]ittlu glr'! that% ou the Fi'cbe~ McGee vrogc~m, (~0TSTEPB STOP) Hello, little giri~ (IIUS~ VOICE) Zel!o=..I betoha I know ~atqo yo~ are~ i be~ohg~, T bc%cha. | heroD&. (FOOTSTEPS CONT~ ) POO~ iitBlc thir~ has a cold .... (ItUMS) Ch Ivir. Bem~gT -.- ( !,OC:TSTEPS STCP) ~e~, I W~S j!lst oP_ m~ '~y over to ~ou~ house, Yo~ wer, e '; Yes .... You kno'~ tb~ 2mBerview ,you gave rfe last wee~. ahor't how you fouma Rochester ,~s$ very imterestL~_g. , • My editor .liked it ~$ lot. bI~i! i'm glado l.q fsct he !ik~d it so much he sent me back to get another story. Re~ily? I<e w~nts ~0 ~ZOW l]ow ~ot~ foor.d ~TISI~2r Livingstone. f9 ]"N:O 1 023632'?
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,,ACK: i~RA~N S : U --- 0h~ Kary., J~lell Klr, Keart~s, this is a r~ther IINJ~L'a1 story...Walk back with me aril ITll Bell you all n~bout O k~y JACK: Now Kary~ as I mentioned last week~ jolne,d mc o~t the radio ~bout ~ee months after I got started..I happened to be i.~. Los An~e~es ~t the t~T.~. ~ .~mcst . ~ ~em~ b, that was fo~te~ .... ye&rs ~o...Ye~j T ~ ~m ~ tee d~y I bo~g_ht this ~hirt llm weari~...they g±ve ~tarantees you maow...Anpiay, it was the !attar psst of ~939.. That's right, 1932 .... I was downto~ and as I was passing the ~Jrag Company...(STARTS TO ~ADE) I ~oticed they ~e z,~r~r-ir~g ~ sale, ~o ~ ~top~@d to look in the window. (TRAKSITTON ~SiC ) ( FOOTSTEPS ) (SINGS) ,MoST A GiG0~'., ,EIER~S~fKERS I S0~..~OP~ ~:C~'l TIiE PART lrM P~Xr4G..Gee, thatEs a ca%si±y :~ew tvr.o,. (I~7~S GIGOLO) .... Fall is such a r~ioe bite of ycaP,., the ]eaves ~z,e tt~so~Ing bro~r~ ,ar_~ the air is..i~,~... l wonder J£ K@ove~l~ be re-e!eeted...i tbirk I,IL get me one of those high colle~,s...Sah~ r.v neck's too short . ~ .(SDTGS) ~ff~i T}~ BL[~ OF Ti~ ~IIC/iT .... Bububa boc. • ,, Boo boo boos..ouhu boo~ b~:b~ boo .... That new singer nt.a a nice styl% brt he c&n~t iast..,-~ay, look at those shirts in tPe ~ndew... (FOOTSTEPS STSP)
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JACK: .ZACK: r{t~ I~Z : RUBle: JACK: CLACK: RUB]9~: JACK: ,TACK: JACK: JACK: JACK: Silk ones with strides...Fo~m~ mir~aty-elght marked dowr_ to a ~olla~ nirety-~ine. ~,I t~ir:k IIll go in an~ let (_~J =,0CF_STEPSp DOOR 0~I,~S~ CR0~D N0~ES) l~tls seo.,.I wc~_d~p ~le~e the -- Oh p~o~do~ l~ej sir~.. ca~ you tell ~:_e w~re the ~hSrt oo~;r~te~ i~? Shi~t counter, o .~t az, e ~o~ asking me~ i ioek :i~,~e like a f!oo~walki~8? In th~s depression who c~n ~2'ford ~ b~t. 0m~ I'm so~y..,Wel± uiaybe I cam ~ip you get a j~... '~Jt do you do? We~! I do differe~e t~ings...! c~n he ~ ~p~rr~rber. Huh? Plu~be~ ? 0h~ jou c~ do a lot of thinSs. Yes~ b~t ~r~ t~lis dep~,ess±o~ t~Gre ~ ~othi~ to ~i~ Oh t~tls too %ad,~.We!l th~nks jllst t~e sar~ but l~ve gotta ~r~d th~ shi~t couater. 0\~ well say maybe I ca~ e~-ligh~nir&~±a~i~ging you° Never ~ind~ I~ii fi~m~n~rld -- I~Ii fin@ it ~yself. (~s~; FOOTSTEPS ) Oh thcr@ it is; over t~ere~. ,Boy~ look ab tkos~ soopty (] '00TS'£ PS S<L'0P ) f]T ~0"| 02363 ~'9
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JACK: Y~L: JACK: JACK: [g~L: JACK: MEI,: JACK: SARA SAKA ~AK£ i,{&RY: SArA : 14- ~i!.25 • love those mew long pointed coliaL, s. i ws~nt ~o buy a s~i~t° ~ .I lq~e this salk one w~th ~ae st~ipes. Yes 8i_~ S~U7 v weep it fo~ ~, --~ew d~ys or do ~o~ ws.c_~ to break it i~ youmse!f? I~ll take it now. Hcw much is it? Zes sir~ Z~II ,~-~p it up -~om ycu...~ha~tI]l be o~e d~lla~~ A ~ol!a±' nirot~-~Ine9 Ck&y; hereEs two dol~ars° Well ~II ~%%,e to go upstairs for the c, hamgeo he~&~tifu] d.alue Oe=A[.d hhe hosiery coumte~..?~&t s cn_cke~_o i thir£~ shols lookii~g ~t ~ne too° o .(STARTS TO FAD~] Pr' [~o~i~ over t~i: . to date bet ~p. (z~AD~_S) Say Ivi&ry~ 3ia,,y -- '//hat is ~t, H~bel? Look at that ~3~, over thence, he~s st~in ~t JOLL. Rig<t over ther© at t~e s~i-.t ccumse_~~ . .o .Say, he looks ki~ld~ pl.oscel~O~lS; douIt he? flow c~n you tell~..With tkos@ bell bc~to~ p£nts; he rg.ight he t~reeoo% ~..Look at ::ira wink-lng at us, . .w±th %,oth eyes. Arid get a load of tb~t straw ]m~t hels ~¢ea_~in~ with the brlgf_t peC ribbon ~our_d it. Yeah and look w~.mt ~t says on it.,.UOh you kid~..,Hey M~bel~ hels tlpD±D~ his hat ~,t us. ~ THO'~ 0236380
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SARA : [<A~ : JACK: lctAYOf: JACK: MARY : JACK: I,~RY : JACK: JACK: r~iARY : JACK: JACK: I~LqY: JACK: MARY: JACK: -]5- ,')25 Yeah, he~s got the string in his pocket. ~lait a ainute, hers colnim4~ over here. Do ion w~nt me to take [lil~l, Ma~y? NO n% I can b2~nd!e hinl. (FADE~O I~D SINGrCG) JUST A GIGOLO..~R~R~ I GO.. PEOPLE I~OW Ti~ PART I~14 PIAYI~;G. IDol[ at him, he~s walking llke The@a Bara. (~,!So.Just a gigolo; every~lhere I go)..Hello k'-g#% whereJve you been all my life? (SARCASTIC) Avoiding it. Key, heyj youl~e good..just my type..I like ,ny tomatoes with s, little spiee..I{a ha I~: Say, say baby, wb~tTs youi~ Mary. Mary va_at?...Q1ite contrary? (Oh brct~mr, i3 tids gly c, orrJ.~ V~D~t was t~uat? Look, my r~rae is ~qary I~v~r_~stene, I Was bo~r_ in kl~inf!eld, New Jersey..I l~¢w I shoul~ be it_ pictures but i~m ~appy here at t~e I~lay Comc~ny, and they tbi~:!~ l~m a very Lood s~lesgirl, now wl~t do ~/ou ~rt Jellybean? Wait a minute, wait a minute, take it easy..You ~ct :~e ~rong~ b~by. Oh stop tipping Four bat. And take ,your bag of peanuts off ti~ counter. No no, baby, I put those up there cn pur-pose..H~Ip yourself, go ahead, baby~ help ~c'~self.~ Say, youh,e a pl~tty sporty guy. Do you fihi~]~ ~o~ Y~ah..Do you ~%lw&ys carts- that u![elolo? RT~01 0236381
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JACK: JACK: JACK: M~RY: JACK: JACK: YARY: JACK: I~RY: JACK: MARY: JACK: JACK: I~RY: - 16 - '~ Oh this. (FOUR, N0~S 0-~ L~Z. o "~ DOG E~S FLVA~ . .T~N C~0RD) Yo~ ou~hta he~P ~e c~t it± ~ ca~oo. Say~ i~ll bet t!~t ukei~le set you hack D!enty~ No no, they gave it to me, when I bought this suit..Say ~%_~y~ you don~t mind me calliug you Ma-~Y, do ycu, baby? ..if i wait ~oumd ~!I you get ~ou~, can I tak@ you home? No, I donlt thi~_~ so. Ch why not, l~ve got a ts~x__~i outside. ~ook~ I We~L out with ~ tarsi drlvor or..ce ~d the w~y he -- -tm Act ~ taxi dr~ver .... Look h~b~ donlt yo~ know who i ~<q? ~o, th~±ll me. Well hang on~o the counter~ baby~ and b~ac~ yo,~sclf% I~m Jomk Bepm~: ........... Can ! lot gc of the co~ntes noW? Aw, youlr6 kiddin~ bs~by, you ~@~ who I m~...l~m a ~ig shoL...irve been c~ the ~adio three months. So wilt...I~ aTai-~m clock's been on bhe radio t!u, oc y@ass, a~%d I got t~%t at Woolwor~h~s. Your alarm...S~F, youlre pl@n~y fast om the tsigger..~. id%~t ~re you dolz~ work~g her@ in ~ dopartmemt ~ ~ YO~. should be on the radio. W~T DID I TEIL YOU~ ~!ABEL.. I ~B~ IT WAS COM~G. D~i~at ? ~ mother told me thoreld be men llke you; but i thought they'd be much ycuuger. ~]"HO ~ 0236 L~82
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JAOK: JACK: JACIQ [/rARy: J~0K: MAR~: JACI~: JACK: JACK: -17- ~'5 ML!ch young...~, you:z'o tcrrl£1c...Listou, baby°. 7oulve got everything it tmkes..good looks, ~ uco speJkLng Vclce~ ~rd wl~at a pe~.so~.~lity! (GIGG~S, T~J 0y±-v~R!NG) fill bet you telq t!~,t to s.!l the girls. NO, I ~om~t, ~gha. s,z'e you iaug~hing ~,t? The way you're leanLng ag&~a~st the cotmter. t~s pressing the bulb iu your pocket a,t"-d the we, tevts squirtir_g o~t of tb~t f3.~e~ ~ 7our ~apel. ~%r~ Li~en~ 7ou ou~t& be om the ~adlo wit~ ~e.. iIll get 7ou places .... Yo~ll be a big sta~ ~7,° .You~re ~ot kidding~ ~ you? C,~ course not..~fmy domlt ycu meet me tonight for di~:~er~ au~ ~IiI talk thugs crew? ~_~Qt1 &t~d ~/o ~ -- Cafete~s,! °..Nct ~-ib~n you go out with ~erry, ~c.by°.. iIl~ ~ke you to the Brc~m Dorby, ~d ~fto~,~ards ~olll go dancing ~t tho Coconut ~o~e. ° .~fmo~ yo~ro o~t with me, b~b~, mcuey meaus ~othing,.w~, I~ii take y~ to -- Pardou me~ ~is ter ~ here ~ s 7our pe-~-~7 change, RT:~O I 0236:383
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JACK: ~J~RY: l%ar_k you...Wh~ b~by, Z~II teko yo~ anyjg~m~_waat All ri~it...!i]! meet yo< ~n front of tho stcro at six orOloOk. < O~CK: N~RY: JACK: JACK: RO3A R}~ : JACK: ~]I%RN S : GACi<: JAOK: llll %0 there.I .... So long. So long. Oh boy, ~heXs gcirg to %e great om my radio Lcro~sm~. Cf OouPse i donlt ~a:~t to spoil her....I wonder how much they D~y her ~t the ivI~;y Comps,m7 ...... Oh I~il ask her tonight whe~ welre h~vir~ di<ner ~t the Cafeteris. (~$I0 LOUD~ T}~i ~AbES 0U~±') And tDat~ }~. k{es.-ons~ is how I fomld Miss Lkvi~-~stons] ~gell t}~atls a ~-ery inZer~esti~g sts~y. (FOOTSTEPS o~O~, ) {"/ell hereIs ny ~ou~ M~'. Ke&rns.,.Wot~ld %-CL'. !±k8 £o oome J~l fo~~ a 2<p of coffee? ~,,r Bonny. Gc od~rye. (F00~STEPS UP tlAI£~) (HO%{% L0~ ~ BLOOM) (PIAy0~ [~JSIC AUD A~PL~USE) f9 ]"MO } 02&~6384-
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JACK: D C,N : L&DTES A;*~[D GENTLE}F~N. l~4H~ REC~IT I<EETiNG OF ~HE BIG ~I!P~ AT YAL~_~ PROVED !~%'f; EVE% %U{0UGH TH]{ !:fAR iS FAR !q{0H O-V~9~ T~ ALLIED NATIO~IS ARE PREPARING FOR ~(,? 19~ '2I~'E 'OFJ'IAR. :7 - ~ ~ =~ FL%n3/~NTAL 5F,~WCRI< -- CF A POS~;AR ORCAJ{iZATIOL TO [IrAKE CER%%IN i%AT '~!IAP, DOES N0~ CC~ AGAIW, -~ m ~:~ ARE ~4%DE UP OF BrOIVIDCALS...pEOPLE LIKE YOU A~TD ME.. ,AND I,~, AS ~[D~VIDUAL~; ~JST C0-0RDINA~ OL~ NF~0B_~ FCR _q~A~ POS[WAR PEACE BY SUPP0~TT~IG ALL ~'AR ACT~gITIE$. H(h~ ~ l%J{ TII~E ~0 PR0'2ECT A~I"D S~IG~[ 0D~ ?]'[0CK-0U~I BLG~ BY Gl~P±%I@ FREETy TO T~ RED CR£$S~ B3ZIiIG ~ID I~P~[G WAR bO~ DZ; GIVI}<G ~0R~ Bm00D ~0R PiASVA..BY S~PORT .IDIO RATIOK]9~G, ~I~T~',~G ,~!~.~%R~ U,~ -F~IL LE!T~RS TO ,41~7 0VER TI~RE~ AND STYCKi2~G TO 01~ UARTIg~E ZCBS. 9~F, IS .}~C DIFFERENCE BE%~YEL~ ~[DTCIDUALS AIFD ~,[ATIC}~S. T51% }~q< YOU, And .ucw Jack wii- bo buck iz~- just a minute, but and Konnoth ~:,ar. fgTH01 023638-'5,
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RIGGS: DHLV~R~ S_~BUTT~ RD~/SDAE%: TIC~R: RK~SDA~L: JAC-< BF~L'NY P _dO C'R.Ab' ~5 4TII RL%'. $bTITCI{0~'~ IC ~'J YCRK }r0R OLOSING COY~@I~P.CL~L) V CiOS]]K~ OCM',~ O I~Z (O~B~T - s0[s ALmmIC~',N) Smake tb~t s{r.oxe of f{ne tobacco %<,cky SLZ'I{~~, It tares f~ne tobacco to ~ake a lime cis-a~ette, ~m~,d ~r~depemdert tsbacco e~.~ger~s pr~senb at the accs:ors Can see Luc1~ Strike tty the fi±e-% ~he li~htep~ the r~atural!y milder Luck~ Shrike tobacco. Th±s f ne Lvo.k~j $tL~J<e tobaocc meaas rsa%; dee~-doT~m smoklr~6 er-jc~7:.ent fore yo,.~ So smoke th~..t smoke o~ fir_e socsoCo - LSCt{T/ Stri~e~ '-he f~i:cbs tobacco e:}ctio~ee~8 hes~d on to'clght~s p~*cgr'alL were Kr, L, A~ (S~¢ed) Ri~% of @oldsbopo, ilorth Caro-ira~ (6~{A>~ - SrTD A~IRICAN) ep_S H~~, F E. Boo/~e~ of L@XA~-SZOS~ Kenzvcky (C1tANT - SOlD ~Ai!~IC/C, ), Baszi R ysSae~ spes:o~. (~eS, P -3) LS i<FT L$ ~T L$ ),~Fr YO~ r'~r~e tCb&CCO ff.O~]~ ~ "~!r\9 O~i~.~Rtt@~ SO# SlfOke th8.~ stroke of fine tobacco -- Lucky ~t<e, so #ov:_d~ so f~r~_.~, so f~!ly o~cked# so f~c and e,~,sF on the ,gT~O 1 022,6386
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...................... L::L -__ i:. i ............. JACK: ~.6%RY: JAO_<: JACK: JA 07<: ~Joil folks, t~}is or_ds Etnother p~Cl~_'~lm~ $_od wclil bo with ~ou ~oxt $unSs~y night br3adcasL'liiS f~,ou the Red%stribub Lon "" - ~ ~ .. (noc~ O~ENS FASt) Oh Jaok~ Js:sk~ T~m so sorry l~ra !ate...this is the Ci£~st s~e IRe evsl~ missed a ~£og~,~. Yea,h~ wb~b b~ppesed to yoe? !~oll, ! took ~, ~s,p before the bl, oa, d6&s$~ ~d ~Pj B, JS~r~ didult 80 off. Woli it's L~ll rig&qt~ Marry, dor~t wor~y about it. Well wb£t did Tcu do~ Jack?...Wb~,t was the sh~,~ abo~t? Oh ~othing, ~cthing. Oh; Come o~: tO~l n~c. - • ol-~s. ~'~o uo, you wouldn:t be interestoo...C~odr~ig~Z, -~ 02363Bp
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RUTHRAUFF RYAN Inc. ADVERTISING RADIO DIVaSION REBROADCAST: 9:30-1@:00 PN, PWT A]I~RIC&? T0~%C:C0 C0!JFAZU£ iUCP/ SmlI~- T.S_ ./'~.._V,T. CLIENT: PROGRAM: STA: KP0, K0~0, ~J, KH@, KGW, ~SD, KFI. ±~k/* DATE: ,'4,~d~ 25, I~45 :{ NETWORK: "~= DEL~ : RU~SDAg/L : BOONE ! RU!~_ S/~EL : TICI(EE : R~DAEL : DEllrAR : (~. I) RI~/S~%EL : SI~%RBUTT : RUYSD\I,IL: JACK BI~U~ D~n ) 1 Quality of Droduct is ossontis, l to continuing succoss. (CHANT - SOlD A[,~P!CAK) so fully packod, so f~oo and easy on the draw~ ~cs sir! Ar_d hcw~ Luc~< Stpikc "~oans I !~u t,sbsooo - SS rO~hd: SO ~'i-~:i~ so full7 p~ckod, .... ir~,u ~n~ ~.S~/ on tho draw.: . \ ~T~O'I 0236388
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JACK BEM, FZ ~RD I%~V, PROGPJ~M ~IJ26 RICGS : LSIISAR : RUY~IAttEL : (CHANT - SOLD A],N~RICAN) In a cigarette iris the robe,coo @%S,U OO:&~IBS. And Luc~ Strike means fine tobacco - Yes~ £~,s~ 1;!~t srd al~aFs Luc~ Ztrike means line tobacco - bhe fir, er~ the !ighter~ the r_at~zrally mildcP Luc~ Strike tobacco. ~c for your o,~l r,e,~l~ deep-4.oi~,'n si,~ok2~g en3oymemt~ sueke that smoke ol ~'ine !.obac~o -- Luoky Strike! (SWITCHOVER TO KOLL~OJ00D FOR J~.CK oL%~£ SK0!,~J)' ATNO'I 0236389
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DON : DCN : JACK: DON: JACK: DON ; (FraST R0 nTS ) (AFTER 0~ERCIAL, MUSIC UP AND ~ADES) ~LROACCAST~@ FOR ~I{E A[69/ GROUND A~7] SF~VICE FORCES AT TI-2 SANTA ?AR~hRA ~DISTR~BUTE0~ STATION..THE LUC~LT STRIKE PROGRAM..STP~GhRINC~ JACK ~ • .WITH MARY LIV~GeT0~ YHiL TARR_TS~ ROCY~eTER~ lARRY BT~qENS~ AI~D I~YOE~S m_RULY' DON WILSON. (APPLAUSE - ~YUSiC UP A~ FAD~S OUT) LAD/~S AZY~ G~TL~N..YOU ~AY NOT BE IN A2T A~PIA2~E • C% A SHIP~ OR HAV~ TAF~ET PRACTICE. ,BUT FASI~ YOUR SAFETY BEI~] BATTEN D~{ ~0UR HATCH A-\~ F'~P 0DT OF (A Pmus ) Yes si~..Th~k you., t[~2< you...T!~ilo ~aiD.~ this is JaBk B~[2[~y B&~kip_~..A{%d DO[~j %hat Was ~ very ~u~sl do~'n Blue ~, Batten ~I~ the hutch? Yes. ,~hi~s w~r~ so quiet ou~ Admiral -~&~ r:!si:~ rabbi~s, That's the first eg~ you hutch it; Don. A~yway, Do~-; it's wonderful being up here at th~ Santa Barbara Redlstrlbu~io~ stalion~ isn't it? Ib csrtalnly is; Jack. You do kr~ow wh~t ~n Army redlstribltion station is{ don:t yolk? V/T :~40 1 0236390
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JACK: DON : JACK: JACK: MEL: JACK: ~L: JACK: MEL: JACK: DON : Oh of course, DOn, of course...That~s where they bring the boys to klnd~ feel Zem out to see if theySd llke to be civillaos again. You kuo~ what I mean, fellas... Den, yesterday one fellow here volunteered to be a clvilian..and this morning he ~ to be hack in uniform. He found out that a blue serge suit picks up everything but girls. Anyway, Doe... Now walt a minute, Jack, you2ve got the whole thi~ wrong..A redistribution station is where they send the boys to be re-asslgned for further d~ty. Oh oh oh..Gee, ho~ can a big sta~ llke me who almost won the Academy A~a~d, be so stupid..Anyway, Den... (~K CN DOOR) CCME IN. (DOOR OPENS) Mr. Benny? Yes, The boys stationed here at Santa ~ o to present you wlth this delayed act[Dq bc~L'. Delayed action bc~ub? Why give it tc me? We:ve delayed it long enough...3oodbye. (DOOR Sm S) Hmm..thatls a fi~e Way for the army to treat me just because I used to be in the Navy. Oh, theylre only kidding, Jack. In fact, you wouLinIt have had that room l~st night if the Army hadn:t control of the Biltmore hotel here..You told me yourself you b~0 a nice room, F) T;,401 0236391 I
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PHIL: JACK: PNIL: JACK: P±IL~ JACK: PIEL : DOT[ : JACK: -3- ~¢26 Oh the room was all right, but all might long a sentry with s. rifle ove~ his shoulder keDt walking Up and d~.~n outside m@ door. ,IF THEy WANTED f&Z TO PAY ~ ADVANC~,] Wib/ D!D~hrT -~PL~/ .-SAY ~C! YOU [t~-~..An~vay...And another %htn~..I donlt ll~.,~ the ide~ of h~vi~g those soldiers acb as bell-boys..It~s the fi_~st time I ever wal<ec~ it=be & hotel~ re~iste~ed~ a~d w&s carried ~P to my roc~ o!I 9he er.d of & bayonet..~ feTt !~ke a Di~-oushlo~ a~! Z ~i~It go~ m~ch ~ushion..Believe me~ ths ~zext ti~e I -- 0lAY ~LL~/{S± YOJ C~I IAUDK A_ND R~IAK; BECAUSE £2dtRIS IS i~RE WITH T_~ DYNAMITE C~ACFS, Oh~ fi~e. Dy~mlte cr~cks..Phil~ if y~u~re ~uoh m[~ aG lib comedian; t~;hy di~h%~b ~ou get ~a-~e &t t[i~ sta.~t of the sh<~*? Well~ Z wo~Id oave~ Jaokson~ bdt T was eutsJd@ L~.l}i%~ to a soldie~ ~,bo~t hi~ post~az~ pzaos. -<lis post~8.J p]~ns ? Ye&h~ so I ~sl<ed ~im if sh~ h~d a f'~let~ fs~ ~£...~ 7fA ~ ]IA 6A, ,0K 9~%~18~ YOU N~-Ci%~llSSl@-[~ JOY ~£Y, Dlf~ami<e. or~oks..Phil; those ~r.e the iclmd cf jo~s that ~ould make 9%,e~ Allen ~o o~t ~p-d bermow som~ blood he c&n b114sh,. ~AEd yem know ~azt -- Wbs, t are you. ~ikin~ sboat~ Jaoksoa~ I got t~lec.t, Why~ Z'm the m-sin att~ctioo, at my new might club, Oh yes, Phil~ I me~t~t to ask you..~{o~s tb~t p_ew b~siuess venture of yo~rs coming a~o~? Yes~ Phil~ how is tbab joimt? ,~9 T ~,"{ O 1 0236392
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F~L ; JACK: PHIL: $ACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL~ ~ACK: JACK: PHIL; JACK: JACK: -~- ,ps Look Jackson, domlt oa!l my night oi~o a joint..I ~ot a pretty classy lay-out there~ you Icaow..We got b~s, utifu! oil ps, intings on the walls, drapes on the windows at21 so°t lights on the ceiling. What b~%ve you got or- the floor? it used to be ~ ba.~be~ shop. A barber ship.: Yeaho.As a mat~e~ of fact3 the barber's lease isn't ~p ye~ so welre both oper~tiu~ in the s~me room. What? While lira ciippir-z ;am or- oue end.. he:s olippi~: ~er~ on the other.~ Tb_atts..that:s the most rldio~!ous thing I ever heard of. You know yesterday a g~y c~me in for a once over !i~ht!y and the baL~ber steamed his face witc~ rrJ~ bar toxei. With ycar ~m towel! Yeah..ltls the first ti~e I ever saw a guy stagge~ home from a sh~ve. Phtb what kind of a -- Th~t~s oum slogan, Jaokson..Sl~A~½ Ai~ A "~¢G0~R, ~70 BITS.~ Phil, i do,it kucw how you get ~ixe4 ~o with all th~se .... HELLO, JACK~ HI ~ FELIAHS. HELLO MARY. ~LL0. ~iq Z: Thas~s ~ boys. tq ]- HO '1 0236393
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JACK: HARY: JACK: MARY: JACK: HARY: JACK: [VARY: JACK: JACK: JACK: -5- #2~ Mary, just stand there. . .Bee. . .you look beautiful... NO wonder the fashicnACademy voted you the best-dressed womzn in radio...%~nat a lovely outfit you'~e weaPing... What material,...What llnes...Wnat style.. ,.And what are those thin~s h~nglr~ around your neck? ~y shoes, n~? feet hurt. Oh, o h...Well, I don't blame you..Sometimes I feel llke doing the same thins, but my shoes never ~atoh my suit... What's new, ~!a~y~ Not much, Jack...~ mother sends you her Pegar~s. Oh, did you ce_!l her~ No, I just got a letter from heY. Oh, another letter from your mcther?...Well...whgt does yo~ fetberIs top Sergeant have to say~ Here it is... ¢CL2ARS THROAT) .... ~ DARLING DAUGHTK~ MARY .... I WOUTZI ~AV~ ANSWERED YOUR I.~TTER SOOhLEE, BUT PAPA AND I HAVE BE~ VErY BUSY ON THE FARM WlVi~{ OUR SPRING ~IANTING...WE JUST FINISFnZD A FE~ DAYS ~CO AND ALREADY THE FIELD IS FULL OF CORN A~'TD BY THE ;@Y Hu~'/ I~ JACK~ I donrt get the conr~ection..~here... ANYWAy ~ WE ARE ~JJOYING THIS ~FAU~FLvL SP-~ING F~FATHF~R, AND I GUESS IT HAS AFFECTED PAPA, BECAUSE YE~STERDAY ~E W~ISTL~D AT A GIRL. "Well, good for Fapa. I THINK HE~ OVERDID IT BECAUSE ~.~ SPENT THE NEXT TH~-~! HOL~S LOOKING FOR HIS TEETH. What enthusiasm. FITMO 1 023639,,~
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~Hk: JACK: MARY: JACK: I~'TA RY : JACK: bg.RY: JACK: JACK: JACK: .... }~2m THINGS ARE SUKE I~PENINGI~STTHESE DAYS, AI, V THE DDA~ BOARD SE~IVTB TO RE IN A~T AWFLTL HURRY....LAST }~F~ YOUB F~O "SlY 30BBIN \~I~NT D~N rE TAKE HIS ERYSICAI,~ A~qD TODAy HE ~JST RETUP~b~ FEOM ~D~u~; GUI~FA 0~ A SJR~O-JGR, Boy, ~hat "~_ fsst~ isn't ~9 AND OH ZES~ NA~Y~ l HA~ S0~ EXCITING KEWB FOR koD.. "~\ST THURSI~Y SB~WHOLE C~NG ~eTE~'T OUT FOR A DRIV~ AND YCLR SISTER ~ABE AND THE BOY SH~_,'S ENC~GED TC ~gERE, RIDING IN THE RU~i~ S~AT...'~fE HIT A ~U~ AND T~ RUMBLE S~T SEAppED S~T_.. ~Y goodness It~E ~VOR~D FCE HOURS A~ WE COULDN't GET IT O~N..,SO WF, CAIrA~D ~I{E ~,[iNIST~ A~79 ~ ~9{P/~IP]D ~E~ ~63~CUGR T~ I~ HOLE. Can you imag~.ce that? YOUR COUSIN BOBBLE ~BLEW RICE AT ~EM T-4ROUGH A STRATL Oh boy, what a fsmily. NO OTHER ~E~VS...ALL ~ IOVE~ [4AMA. That's ver~ c~,~e ..... ~hatts that ~.B.~ Ma~y~' 0~, Jsck~ yoa woul@n't b~ interested. I would to, Tet me read ~t...P.S. I READ I~ ~h~E TA~ERS; TEARY, THAT YOU ~0E "i~ TITLE OF THE BEBT-DRESS~ ~40~4~ I~ RADIO...HOW COUIO YOU POSSIBLY DO TT ON ~I~T JACK PAYS YOU%o, . .your mother ~stes me ,~e, cause T own the mortgs, ge o~ her farm., .Now where's larry~ I want him to.,. Here I &m~ M~~. BeDmy. f~T'~{O'~ 023639~
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JACK: IAR~I: ,jAOg= LARRY: JAOK: LARRY: JAOK: PHIL: JACK: JACK: JACK~ PHIL: JACK: JACK: PHIL: -7- #2~, Oh~ oh~ hello~ hello~ kid,.~tls aooat ti~ now to do a 0kay...But before I do~ Mr. litle tin. TipP....!+~bat is it? Ycu oughta go to Mr. Harris~s night olub.,+Wm~7+ wh~t U._anl aarry~ you went to Phil Hsmrisrs night club? Sure..a~ boyj was I dizzy when Z left? Dizzy!...PHIL, YOU DIDNITG~fA THIS !~A~'TTHING TO -- Don't get excited~ Jaekson.,.We ~ust spun him aro~m-d i~ the ~&rber ~½air and sent h~m home, Oh,..Go ahead ~rJ si~g~ KJ~o (INTRO TO SONG) I~ii have to visit ~hat night club the next time I need a shave. (SEGU~ I}~0 LApSy's NtZ~BER) ~ rt That was "With A Song In My ~-rt ~ sur<~ hy Larry Stevens...and mo~ fellas o.. Hey~ Jacksbn~ i~ve bee~ ~a~iD~ to e,sk yc~+,What's ~hat thing you've teem he!din+ in your hamd sl! the time ? This? Yeah+ Oh~ ~othing...~t's just a delayed asticn bomb..,The boys here prosonted me with it. The boys here gave you a bOmbq Be~n~ I want to give you a ~ I":40"I 0236396
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JACK: ,TACK: JACK: ~L: JACK: MARY: JACK: PHIL: JACK: MEL: JACK: MEL: JACK; IADD: JACK: -8 - # 2~ Yes, they voted Jack the comedian most likely to go places. Ha ha ha...very D~ny. (SOUND: KNOC'( ON DOOR) COME IN. (SOUND: DOOR O~ENS) Yes? There's a ~n out in the hall, a~ he wants to see ya...His na~.e is Allan. Alan? Jack, I didn't know Fred Allen was in town. Nelthgr did I, he just wants to gen in here so he can louse up m@ crogram. Look, Jackson, if Fred Allen is outside, why don't ycu let him inO...The boys here would llke to see him. Well I don't b!a~e 'em...With those bags umder his eyes he looks i~ke he's wearing a fati~le skin... Look, Bud, go tell tbat ~.y out in the hall to get goln' Or ISll punoh him in the nose. Oh I wouldnlt want to do that. Well send hlm in, I'll punch him in the nose ~yse!f. ~ord him in, will you? Okay... (~LLS) YOU CAN CO~ IN ~ISTER. (SOUND: DOOR CLOSES) Okay, Allen, you asked for It~ so..Hey~ wait a minute... you're not Fred Allen. No, I'm Alan Ladd. Alan L~dd.T (AP~ZAUSE) RT~01 0236397
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,~CK: I~DD: PHIL: JACK: I~DD: JACK: IADD : JACK: ~DD: JACK: LADD: JACK: L~DD: JACK: L~DD: JACK: L~DD: JACK: LADD: P~DIL: Uell, well, well...Alan Ladd..the guy in plctu~es thatJs supposed to he so tough. l,~!hat do yoa mean ~ to he? Go ahead~ J&ckson, p~ch him in the nose, llke you se, ld you would. No, ~o.....He*s shorter tb~n I am. Donlt let that stop you...Ill~ hit you so hard yould be foolish to bounce back~ (TOU[~) Oh yeah? .... New wait a minute, toagh guy ..... Uho do you think youlre talki~I to? .... Huh?...V~ think yoaIPe talklnI to? JACK B~. (COY) Gee, everybody IGqcws me .... Gee, I'm so popular. Just as I thought, Benny....~ou~re ~ coward. Oh yeah? Yeah. Oh yeah? Teah. ..... Oh yeah? Yeah. L~dies and gentlemen~ you have Just been listening to ten thoasand dolL%rs Worth of talent. Neve~ mind~ N~ry, Itll h%ndle him..,You ~m~, Al~m, you think youl~e pretty @ulok on the trigger, donlt ~ou? Yeah. Oh yeah? Yeah ° I<old onto your hats, kids, heine we go again. FITHO~ 0236398 ~
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J~CK: IADD: JACK: IADD: JACK: IADD: J.~.CK : IADD: JACK: ~%~RY: JACK: ~RY: J%CK: Uait a minute, Phil~ I want to settle this thing right n~v...Look here, Alan, nobody sent for you...You butted Ir~ here and star~ed this whole thing...%~lh~tts the idea of calling me a cc~'erd? B~CAUSE YOUIRE Y~(III. THAT:S A LIVER CONDIT~0N ..... Anyway3 whs~t did you come in here for? .... You play tough guys in the movies, and this is a co~.edy program. Ncw cut that out. Oh Jack, Irm only kidding...I b~ppened to be In t~,r~, so I thought lld just drop over and say hello. Oh, 0hh, you were kidding, eh?....well thatls dlfforent... I1m glad nc~" I didn;t hit you. A[,d it's nice you dropped in, AL%n, beck%use tonlght~ as our feature attraction, you kn~l we're going to do a murde~ m~,stery. $well...Do you mind if I sit down end listen to it9 No, not at all...~Fc~J, ladies and gentlgmen3 in our s1~etoh tonight, i will once a@%in pla~J the p~t of that l"~r~ous, fearless, crime-busting me.ster detective, C~pta~ 01Bet.n}'...Phil, yo~Zll be my assi3t~.nt, Officer Ol~rris...~nd N~.ry -- Yes, Jack? yoalll be the wife of the mumdered n~.n. Is he dead yet? Not yet, but hels at the Seven Seas gettln~ a little stiff...Ncw let's see...who o&n be the murderer...Hey: I got an Idea...Alan L~dd.~.~Say A~an, the murderer .... I~ve got a g~ee.t p~rt for you...How about It9 F/T,.~O 1 0236399
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L~DD: Y~OK: DON: JACTq: L~DD: JACK: DOK: JACK: DON: ,TACK: IADD: DON: r ].].~ '!o~ ~f~o Nothir~g doil~8, JackI IIm kind of t~,ed..,l just finished making ~ pictuse at l~r~ount called "Sal~y o Ro~ke, soom to be released at all bbe nei~borhood thoazres~ men ~- unlfor£a !~lf price. Oh. And you o~n best enjoy this picture by sitting in the D~ony smoking a Luc~- St-~ike ~ga~e te. Dcnl Let him_ a!one~ he~s talking aboat ny picture. Oh. &_~d you will rav~ ~',bout this picture wh~le smoking a Lucky Strike beoeA1se Luck7 Strike !~eans fine toby.coo. Don ! oO R~j]~0 SO ~TR, M~ SO 7C~E~ P~C~aD. Don! LZT i~I ALOff~ Z]IS ~&II~NG ABOUT f~ PEC~br£~. Oh. cO FRS~ A~D ~A~S~ C'N ~ DP~W! ~ THO'~ 02 L:~ E, 4-00
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!ADD: DONj JACk: IADD: J4CK: I~DD: 3XCK: LADD: JAC!{: YADD: -19- ,{26 YOUI~8 WC£OOm@~ ,~}0.~£, Tmagir_e~ coming hers just to plu£ his pi~tsre...Nc~ !et~s get bsck to ou~ slcetoh.. ,Arcl look~ Ale.n, ~m sY-_l willing to give you. ths p~rt of the murde~el~. .if 7ou csa ~,adle it. Uhst do you mean if? I!e!l the ~u~derer in ~his sketch has got to be pretty toug}u guy~ I donZt kr_~ ~,~hether you~l~e the right guy fo~ it. Are you kiddin:?...Let me tell you h~ tough I am, ..A couple uf ~tys e, go ± w~iked up to H~npb~,ey Bogart~ ~ra~cbed him D~ tl,e oo!]~m stud s~id~ II01LL_~/OOD ~TIT B_C ~NODGH FOR BOTq OF US~ S~?" And wlmt ]m~pper, ed? well... ,here I ~m ~n Santa B~gbs, rs,. i~r~a,..t!ell wb~t~z*...Uell, wi'~,t~s..ths,~ you:vo got mr_ you~ hand? B~,ga_~tls necktie; he hi~ me so fast i didn:t l~ve tgae to let go. \. @) RTH01 023640 !
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k C I • X_iLi .... i JACK: JACK: JACK: ROCI~S~ : JACK: ROCI~Z~EI : JACK: JACK: ROCI~ST~R: ~ACK: H0 CI{E,5~ER : JACK: ROCHESTER : JACK: R0 CI~EGT_~gI: JACK: ROCI~I]S _~ : JACK: ~26 Well don't worry acout it. he mus~ have other ties.. An~,ay, Alan, i'm sure you'll be all "~t fo~ Zhe part.~ ~aI~d "~e'_l i[ this 3ketch right after ~hi! harris plays -- ( PHC!~E RING~ There's the phone .... 'ii ~ake i~ ( ]LICK OF R~-CEIUfER ile llo. H~LO MR, BE~N~/, i~{15 IS RCCI~]ST~. (APP~AUSF ~ochesSer~ T thought you were gemng ~o be here ~ noo~ Z Wo,Jld bare. boss, b\it I had DrouDle wmt-q the os,r. l~Tts, t was the t~aLL~ COLt%drift yo~ 8~8,~L 1E? NO~ I 30DI~N'T 5~OP iT! Rochester, ~or_'t tel!. me yo~ had al±othor aooider, L. I DCN'T [~0W. ~BUT IF ~ ?O$~TAR CAR I-~a5 TI~ ~NCINE i:~ TI~ R~R~ YOU'RE ~IL SET! Oh _Roohes~er~ ~his is terrible...I~,~at ~id you hit? The First N~icr~al Bank at the ~orner of Fo%~.rth ar_d Rocf_ester~ bhe First NazJon&] BS~_M is on Thi.~d and Main. NOT ANY MORE ! Yot~ mean yea rsa into a h~Jld~ng?.~ .How i~ ~he world could yo~ Oo that? ~!el] ~..i was drivin' dowf± Main 3t~eet an@ I s~eoped on the gas to make a light. Dir~ yo~' bare ,% ffre~L light? R T,XO 1 02364-02
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~:~m~r.r:~=~r~ "'s'~:5~:,~"f!' ': : - • :. ~ •. u•= ¸¸-7¸ ROC[~STER: JACK: ROD~ST~s JACK: ROCI~STEH : JACK: ROC~ZT~ : JACK: ROCiIEST~R: JACK: ROCI~STER: JACK: ROCT@]STF~ JACK: RCCI{EST~: JACK~ ROCI{EST~: JACK: NO. Don't tell lae the l~'sht wss red[ No~ b,ab i louise! out one thing. Vk~at. You meat as you wen% across the light clsanged? DI~ hr.h..and coming from tb~ north was a Greyhound b~s and comir~g from the south was a big track. Oh my goodness .... %Vhere~s ~y car -~_ow? ~Cf PARTICLU~AR PAg~ YOU'D LIIiZ TO i@~OW ABCDT~ Oh tb~t~s av~ul...ME car r~Jst be smashed to pieces ~anf after what i paid for it, B~s.t boss~ aren't yo~ evom gorlm% ask me how ! &~ Oh yes, yes~ l!m so_~ry I was so thoughtless...doW are you, Rochsster? l'I4 FIF~ H0~,~ &RE YOU? ThAt's what I tho<ght, .Now "~e~e are you ca!li~ f-~om? '~IL~]I,.D THTS NAY SLY_ PRISE YCU~ B<}S~ BUT I~M IN A PHOVE BOO .~.{, I~ a ~hone booth'...V~t~s so stlgPlalng abo~t that? • DIDN'T G~T CL~ OF THE CAR YE~! Rochester, I~l! t&]k to you ~Lqen I get horle.,. Goodbye. Goodbye, (~P~AUSE) WerE t~ne he tak=s t~e car o~t a one ~omet~ing happens ,, .Play~ Phil, (S~GUE ~Y2O BA~D ~(B.~R) P~ T NO "; 0236,$03
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JAC<: JACK: P~IL: JACK: PKIL: JACK: DON: ~g£L: -15- #26 ( THIRD R0~INE) That wa~ "I'm ~egi~ng TC See The Light~ ~ played by Phil Ha~,ris~ just c~emed his eyes~ .Ar~ now~ ladies "~d gentiemea~ for the -~rst t~me o~ tb9 a~, we wlTl present ou~~ b!oo@ cLm'diing drama..filled ~a~th mystery~ ~rder ~nd suspen~c~..cntltl~d~ ~'TI~ WC~N IN T!~ WII~LK~W...OR • ,OR..IT T S A CP0D ~{~{G T[{~ ~FE~ETL~N WAS BLIND" .. ~DOD~ t h~tch th&[ one• br Jthor &s our scene o~ers I. C J~pt~,iu O'Bebnv. a~id ~" ass-s~an% Officer police c~r I~STF~y ~/STC FADES TC ! ACTO MO~OR FADES ft~s a ~et nigP~- isn't iL~ ~ i~rris? It 8-ORE _H C~Dt.=•Jr...TLer~s I~ot a Soul cn the ~t~eet. Y~s but there~ve been com:olair~ts that u±:~ p~uple of ~is ~o~ al,~=a'~ ooeyiL9 ~ aew ~nidni@~t curfew Thsy' re not: No, they'~e ac~iP~ jvst tr_e s~/ne as 0hey &iways d~d.~ o~$~hta s~ars - (FII•T_VR ".ALL!_~C AL~ CAR~ ~. ,CA.%P-,G Ai/~ 3ARS. ,~£VR~' S ~DD~SS WHI~ TI~ ~It~DU~ ~IAS CON~{ITTED. {F_LTV~R But befope we give ~Jou the e~dress, here is s message f'rom o~r ~por]sor. £~le Bent Be&D Blackjack Oor~pany~ .. ~Pulloeme~ are your blackjacks setting s~bggish?., .Do they sound dull when they isnd oD a skt~ll~...They do. ~ .Thon wPy ~oz sr~ our prod~ct~ if yol~ ~_s~- ~ P~r_t Beap mq~ck~sek~ you're 8N~ To C}~t #uhe~! Amd now for the a~@ress ~T'WO ~ 0236-¢0~{
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DCN: PHIL: JACK: PKIT~: JAC~C: PHIL: Pi~IL : JACK: JACK: MARY~ JACK: ICARy: JACK~ PHIL: JACK: JACK: ~#ARy: JACK: MARY~ - '-6 4~a6 TP3~ NUL~DER TCCK PLACE AT 0~--8IXT~[ S%RR£NC A~NL~ ~ICH IS RICICT ~=XT f0 ~21~ HACIE__~A DE ~A CABAI]~E,~RC DON onJAg~ RANCId±R0 ~IC0 CAFE. i k~uow ~nat place~ Capt~in~ let's ~%eb goi~ 0kay..Hacie.nAa De L~ C~balle~o Do~ Juar~ Ranchero 'Amigo Cafe. A~hat dces that mean? ~at's Spanish for "Cet the rum o~t of your Coca Cola~ ~elT~hs~ here comes the M~P.~ 0k&y~ ~on C~pita~re. (MUSIC TRAYSITIO}J ) This is the n!ace~ Captaln~ All right...Yo~; stand g~lard heme...I'II go it_side. (I~D "~!0CK~iG "~ DOOR...DOOR CPFA~5 ]{0~ do ~C~d dQ~ I'm C~ptaff~ } 'BenPzj~ ~d l~n here bo long? Hnh? 0 k~y, (LITfLE OF9 ~ Cb~E!'UL ~'APTAI_K~ IT ~Y BE A TRAP IHIS IS..IF TK-S IS A TRAP JUS£ CAI~L BE S00~Y.. Re~f_ey rear!y ki~e~ that for me. ~ .X~w ~eep your eyes oper fc~ clues ArltI IIO'~ ~OUl%~ 18~ ~Iv~ goL ~om@ ~D@~EIOU-8 fO~ VOU Oood~ Chiefie. T'Ve goT~ SO~18 ~we~2s fou you. Jost sall me Cookie. ,~IM01 0236~0~
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JACK; JACK: YYLRY: JACK: IADD: ,YACK: iADD; JACK: IADD: JACK: T~KDD: IADD ! ~RY: JACK: IADD: J~ #26 Nm~..i never found anything like this in Cman6na~s Cookie Jar..Now tell me what happened. My husbap~d was ~urdered..Some !ow-dov~ dlrt~eak cqi~abed in the wiadcw and sho~ him in the back. ~Tow wait a minute..How could a man reach such a %£gh window? I gave him a boost. 0h~°.l knew Ime couldmlt do it by ~nse!f...I{o~ I could solve the case if i could only find the ~an who came tbmough t~ ~%~dow. (I~TACI~G) You don't have to look a~ further~ coDneP.. Up with your ha~s! ~t ? You heard me. °STICK yOUR IfA}~)5E~.7~ (SUr~PRISED) Is this a ~obbery? (~) N% I just wamn~ see if you use Jergens Lotiom. Oh you dg~ eh?,. J'ell ~pub~ a~ayr~ that ~m. (~J~RY ~LKS TO IADDIS MINCE) No mo~ I have a lot of fun with this gun°°Look~ It!l show you..~io~/ you. Ooo]~ie~ co~e ove~ ]~e ~ii~ g;.ve rla a INlss. Me? you heard me~ Cockle. occme ove~ her~ and kiss me e~ I~ll shoot .~ Ol~y. (I~RY AND AT~N r, JBs. ,BUT GOOD) ~y..wl~t do ~ou nee~ ~ ~In fo~ harldsol~e? Not bad~ ' ~/~0'1 0236~06
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JACK: JACK: JACK: I~AR¥ : JACK: T~DD: JACK: L~IDD : JACK: LADD: JACK~ IADD: MARY: JP,L;£: ~d~y : JACK: - -8-- ,~26 ~d..w!,y you2 kisses &re ]J.ke ~,b~mgagne..like 2avi-~,r.. like filet n±gtlo:!: [,,'~RY WA~5 P,_ACK T0 O~VN ML~E Oqa~p~g~e~ oavlarU filet m_@~cr o. I± you. thin< .h~,L ~ s soxtetl~ng~ h&by, Jll show you. a real kiss,.ile~e7. JACK O~,S I~Ai~ A ~UZCK I~IZS VOW was tb&t? One, me&tba!l! Is ~aa~ ~o..Ue!! 17sten, sisser, I Jsed to be the best.. Yoll wanted your husband murdered ~o se~ ~ne fsmcu~ "rat Dusen oea~-,is. ~,,¢%~z~ ttat you~e wearing ~o~nd you2 neck? My s~m'es, lay feet ~ur~. )h yes~ I f'~rgcs~ °A~er, i'm Sonna s~l# 7/cu ~n. Wait a mlr£lLe~ EI~D Eyes..Yot~ talk tc net lilce ~ba~ a~a l'!l gu~iou ~zg!~; ~-n the nose. 3h yea:%? Yeaho On $-eah? Yes, h. Yemh. 19,c~_es atcd se~.tlemen~ yc',t a~e iistenin~ tu a tc~uac~psiot~ of a~ easlie~ bz~oadcas%. lNbat ? AnC kt wa, s~'t good the fi~st ~ime. Cut tb~t out..~O~tl C(]V~ ON~ YOU TWO~ .I~Pl ~AY~I/,I@ BOTK OF YOU TO .~%IL. 0236407
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IADD: JACK: PHIL: JACK: PHIL: JACK: IADD: JACK: IADD: JACK: LADD: JACK: DON: Oil NO YOUIRE NOT.I (FIVE GUN SiIOTS) HA }IA }I~,..YOU MISSED ME ~%~IICE.~ ...N(~'@ CCME ON, ILTIB GO. (DOOR O~NS ~PDLY) (BREATHLESS) ~ CAPTAIN, I l~ GUN SHOTS, I HEARD GL~ SHOTS. Yes and he~els the guy with the gun. (i~u..how do you like tlmt..I .~an in the w~ong direction) CC~ 0H, 0.~RRZS, WEr~ GOIVNA DRAG Tills GUY IN. (VF/P/ DEAMATIC, WITil BIG BUILO-UP) Wait a minute..;Jait a rqinute, Captain..DOntt lock me up..DotITt lock me up# please..Give me anotLher chanoe..Iill never do it again, I swear I won't..I'll go sbralght fronl ~ow o~, I tell ya..ilm not really bad. Oh jou~re not, eh? (STILL DPJ~ATIC) Donlt hit me, do~!'t 'nit me..P~t do~m~ tl~.t Bent Bear_ Blackjack. Give me a break..G~ve me a break, Captain..l'll do ar4ythin~ you say..~..m~HING ..... ~ IF THIS P-P~0~4A_NCE DOESNIT U]i~ NEXT YV~AH~S ACAD}~eI AVA%RD l':q ~UITT IN ' l AW i~OR I~V~I{'S SA~, YOU SPOILED OCR ~,F~IOLE SI~CH..CCt~E ON, IvV~Y, PUT ON YOt~ SI{0~ AND LLT'S GO.~ (APPLAUSE AND PIAyOFF ~Ft~IS) Jack will be b~ck in Just a m~nute~ but first betels my good friend, F. E. _~oone. 8 T)401 O236~O8
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50SKE: ZK&~BUTT : CU~INS : RL'~/SDA E L: TIOK_~R : RDYSDA~IL: PROGR~4 ~',.'26 TgK R~-. (SWITCHCV~R TO }~r YOP/( FOR 01/~Sl~G CO~RCIAL) V CLOSING C014vZRC!AL (c}m~-T - SOlm A~mIOA~T) bIake no taistake~ in '.] cig%rottc itJs thc tcf~sc¢, %.}mr Ootu%ts. John l~¢~'rence Q:m_~J,ns; i~de~e~de~t tobacco auctioneer of C~Ithi~na, Kentucky. said: in twe~ty-o~e years of auctiom~erlngj T ha~e seen Luc~- Ss~£~e buy ripe, s~Jeet :chance. ~tJs or~ly a ~nt~ez~ o~ common sense for any rlsn to act on wbmt he ~ows, 9RstI~ W-hEr I~ve been s~ekin~ Luckles for eJ~teem years. Yake no mistake~ ]m a cigarette it's the zobacoo that cou~ts. So smoke tb<t smoke of fine tobacco -- Lucky Szrike. The ~amous tobacco auctioneer, s heard on tonight's pr,ogram ,~'~ere Nr. F. E. BOO~% o£ Lexi~Tton~ Kentuc~ (OY~qNT - SOLD ~,;.'F~RIOAN) an~ ]gr. L. A, (Speed) Riggs, of Gtldsboro; North Carolina, (0ZA~Cf - S01~ A~[CRICAt,). 8~.szl Ruysdaei speaki~T for tb~ luake~s of Luciqg ~trmke, Ce~talm facts ~-~e plain: it takes fine tobacco to pake f]]%¢ cigarette. And, Lu.c~j Strike r~eans ~ino tobacco - yes~ firs;., last a~d alwaFs~ Luc~ Strik£ means fine tobacco{ (SWITC~ TO HOLL~!00D FOR JACK 8~NY SIGN-OFF) RYNO1 O236~O9
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JACK~ JACK: JACK: ROC_~3~ST~: JACk: ~2~ ~I~'e'tl fo!ks~ th,-'s winds up another b~oadoast~ and we waP_t to thank all you officers amd f~ze~ at Ss~a ~rba~a for invltlng ~.s u~D bere.,.l also wamt to ti~nk Paramcant a.~d the Accae Ivlachlue CTU,.~ Oompamy for allo~,~.ug A!am lade[ to appear on this program..Now oom~ or_ Mary~ let's go. ~aib a minute, Jaclc..you~r~ ~_ot golug to take thab bomb ~om~ v~it~ you~ a~e you? Sure, Mary, it's a souvenir fr. cm the boy8..I-~ b~ ~za°.. Itll bet all Fou listemers th~a~t this bomb wa~ go~r~ go off. Well that just ~hows bow -- (TF~R~IC ~PYOSI0_N A~D GL~$ CP~.SH) ~LLO BOSS, ~0U GC2 H~D SCONER THA2~ I ~HOUG_~; Good night~ fol!~s. ..... LL_

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